I am a Christian by the grace of God, a great sinner in the world, a homeless wanderer, of the lowest rank, wandering from place to place. My dwelling is such: I have a bag of bread on my back, and a Holy Bible under my armpit; that is all. On the twenty-fourth week after Tridimion Day I came to church for lunch to pray; the Apostle read from his letter to the Corinthians, beginning with 273, in which it is said: Pray constantly. This phrase struck me in particular, and I began to think how one can pray without ceasing, when every person needs to engage in other affairs to support his life? I searched the Bible, and there I saw with my own eyes what I had heard – namely, that one must constantly pray, pray at all times with the spirit, and put on prayerful hands in every place.
I had no idea what to do, he thought, where to find someone who could explain it to me? I’m going to walk around the churches where good preachers are celebrated, maybe I’ll hear something suitable for me. And he went. He heard many good sermons about prayer. But they were all lessons about prayer in general; what prayer is; how it should be prayed; what the fruits of prayer are; and no one spoke about how to achieve success in prayer. There were sermons about prayer in spirit and constant prayer; but there was no mention of how to achieve such prayer. So listening to sermons did not bring me to the desired result. Why, after listening to them and not understanding, have I stopped listening to public sermons and decided with God’s help to find an experienced and knowledgeable companion who could explain to me about constant prayer, about my unrelenting desire to know.
Oh, Holy Father! – I said to him.
Here you see, father, about a year ago, while I was at midday prayers, I heard in the Apostle’s Hall such an order: Pray constantly. Not knowing what this meant, I began to read the Bible. And there, too, in many places I found God’s commandment that we should pray without ceasing, always, at any time, in any place, not only during all our activities, but even in our sleep. I sleep, but my heart watches over (he) me. This amazed me greatly, and I could not understand how this could be done or what methods were involved. A great desire and curiosity arose in me, and day and night I could not find the answer. That is why I began to visit churches, to listen to sermons on prayer; but no matter how many I listened to, I did not receive any instruction on how to pray constantly or what this kind of prayer meant. I often read the Bible and checked what I had heard, but still I did not find the knowledge I wanted. And so I remained in wonder and concern.Older Brother crossed himself and began to speak: Thank God, beloved brother, for this discovery! You have an inexorable drive toward the knowledge of unceasing inner prayer. Know that in this calling, God is your insurmountable temptation for the harmony of your will with the voice of God, and that it has been made clear to you that it is not by the wisdom of this world, nor by outward curiosity that heavenly light, unceasing inner prayer, can be attained, but quite the contrary: the simplicity of the heart. Therefore, it is not strange that you could not hear about the essential matter of prayer, nor could you learn the science of how to attain its unceasing action. To be frank, although many preach about prayer, and many are the sayings of various writers on the subject, yet since all their reasoning is founded mostly on conjecture, on the reasoning of natural reason, rather than on active experience, they teach more about the propriety of prayer than its essence. One marvelously discusses the necessity of prayer; another speaks of its power and its goodness; a third of the means to perfect prayer, that is, of what is required for prayer: diligence, attention, warmth of heart, clarity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and so on. And what is prayer? And how can one learn to pray? On these, though they are the first and most important questions, it is rare to find a thorough explanation among the preachers of our time; therefore their reasoning, though complex, requires a mysterious manner of understanding, rather than a dry academic science. What a pity that worldly and sensuous wisdom lets us measure God’s measure with that of men! Many make their reasoning about the matter of prayer quite transformed, thinking that preparatory means and exercises make prayer, instead of prayer bringing forth the exercises and all the virtues. In this case, they mistakenly take the fruit or the result of prayer as a means or a way to it, and thus they bring prayer to a low standard. This is utterly unpleasant for holy Scripture: for the Apostle Paul gives instruction about prayer in these words: I pray first of all to create prayers. Here the first instruction in the Apostle’s statement about prayer is that he puts the matter of prayer first: I pray first of all to create prayers. Many good works are required from a Christian, but prayer must come first, for without it no other work of goodness can be accomplished. It is impossible to find the way to the Lord without prayer, to understand truth, to purify the flesh from passions and desires, to be enlightened in the heart by the light of Christ, and to be saved and united without previous, frequent prayer. I say frequent, because both the perfection and the correctness of prayer are beyond our power, as the Apostle Paul says: we pray under the influence of the Holy Spirit as we should, without knowing what to pray. Therefore, only frequency and regularity remain for our power, as a means of achieving prayer’s purity, which is the mother of every spiritual benefit. Turn your attention to the mother, and she will bear you children, says saint Isaac the Syrian, learn to acquire the first prayer and you will easily perform all the virtues. And this is poorly known, and little is said about it by those who are familiar with practice and mysterious teachings of the holy Fathers.
In this conversation we have imperceptibly approached almost the very wilderness. In order not to lose this wise old man, and rather to gain permission for my desire, I hastened to say to him: do me the kindness, honest father, explain to me what continuous inner prayer means, and how to learn it: I see that you know this in detail and with experience.
The old man accepted my request with love and called me to himself: come in now, I will give you the book of the holy fathers, from which you can clearly and in detail understand and learn prayer through the help of God. We entered the cell, and the old man began to say the following: continuous inner Jesus prayer is continuous, never ceases to call upon the Divine name of Jesus Christ with the mouth, with the mind and with the heart, at the vision of His ever-present presence, and with a request for His mercy, in all occupations on every occupation. It is manifested in the words: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! And if someone practices this invocation, he will feel great exhilaration, and the need to always perform this prayer so that without prayer it cannot be, and it will flow out of him by itself.
Now do you understand what a continuous prayer is? – Very well, father! For the sake of God, teach me how to achieve it! – I exclaimed with joy.
Reading The Book of Good-Temperedness and Spiritual Progress
We will read how to learn prayer in this book. This book is called Good-Temperedness. It contains a full and detailed teaching on continuous interior prayer, compiled by twenty-nine holy fathers, and is so high and useful that it is considered the main and foremost teacher in contemplative spiritual life, and, as the Holy Father Nikifor finds, it “leads effortlessly and painlessly to salvation.”
– Is it higher and holier than the Bible? – I asked.
– No, it is not higher and holier than the Bible, but it contains illuminating explanations of what is hidden in the Bible, and is beyond the reach of our short-sighted reason. I present you this example: the sun is the greatest, most brilliant and wonderful light; but you cannot look at or examine it with an ordinary, unimproved eye. A certain artificial glass is needed, though a million times less brilliant than the sun, through which you could look at this wonderful king of lights, admire and accept its flaming rays. Just as the holy Scriptures are the shining sun, and The Book of Good-Temperedness is the glass.
Now listen – I will read how to learn unceasing inner prayer. − The elder opened the Book of Love for God, found the instruction of St. Simeon the new Theologian and began: “Sit quietly and alone, bow your head, close your eyes; breathe more quietly, meditate, bring your mind from the head to the heart. As you breathe, say: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Expel thoughts from your mind, have patient patience, and repeat this exercise more often.’Here it is, I will read you about this teaching from “Dobrotolubye” (The Joy of Love). An Elder found a teaching of St. Nikon the Monk and began to read: “If after some effort you cannot enter into the kingdom of the heart in the way you have been taught, then do what I am telling you, and with God’s help you will find what you are looking for. You know that the faculty of speech is in each person in the throat. Feelings…) and let it be said unceasingly, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!’” That’s how the holy fathers guide in this case, the Elder said. And therefore, you must now accept this commandment with confidence, as much as possible to do the oral Jesus prayer. Here are the steps for you to perform, for the first time, three thousand prayers a day. Whether you are standing, sitting, walking, or lying down, continually say: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,’ – not loudly and not hastily; and unconditionally perform three thousand a day, without adding or subtracting anything on your own. God will help you through this to achieve a continuous inner action.On the tenth day, not seeing me, the elder came to visit me on his own; I explained my situation to him. He listened, and said: “As you have now got used to praying, pay attention, keep up and strengthen this habit, don’t waste time in Tunisia, and with God’s help, resolve to not perform in vain twelve thousand prayers per day. Stick to solitude, rise early and go to bed late, and come to me for advice every two weeks.”
Then I went to see the elder for advice and told him in detail. He, after listening, began to say: Glory be to God that the work of hunting and the ease of prayer were revealed to you. This is a natural matter, which comes from frequent practice and effort, like a machine that, having received a push or a drive to its main wheel, continues to move by itself; and to continue its movement, it is necessary to lubricate and propel the wheel. Do you see how wonderful abilities God has provided even for the sensually inclined nature of man, which can be felt outside of grace and not in a purified sensibility and in a sinful soul, as you yourself have experienced? And how wonderfully, how wonderfully, and how delightful it is when the Lord graciously opens the gift of spontaneous spiritual prayer and purifies the soul from passions! This state is not imaginary, and the revelation of this prayerful secret is a foretaste of the sweetness of the heavenly land. This will please the seekers of the Lord in the simplicity of a loving heart! Now I allow you: do prayer as much as you want, devote as much time as possible to prayer, and already without lies, call on the name of Jesus Christ, humbly submitting yourself to the will of God and expecting His help: I believe that He will not abandon you and will guide your path.
Once I began to think about where to spend the money I had received for guarding the town, and what I would do with it. Ah! Let me see! The old man is no longer here, there is no one to teach me; I’ll buy myself a copy of The Holy Love, and I’ll learn from it how to pray silently. I crossed myself and went off with a prayer in my heart. I reached a provincial town and began to ask around for a copy of The Holy Love; I found one, but they wanted three pagans for it, and I only had two; I haggled and haggled, but the merchant would not yield an inch; finally he said, “Go to this church and ask the church elder; he has an old book of it, and he might let you have it for two pagans.” I went and actually bought a copy of The Holy Love for two pagans, all dusty and old; I was heartbroken. I fixed it up a little, stitched it with a cloth, and put it with my Bible in my satchel. That’s how I go around now, working tirelessly on the Jesus Prayer which is dear to me and sweeter than anything in the world. Sometimes I walk as far as seventy or more miles a day, and don’t feel that I’m walking; I only feel that I’m doing my prayer. If it’s very cold, I begin to say the prayer urgently, and I warm up quickly. If I’m hungry, I’ll often call the name of Jesus Christ and forget that I’m hungry. If I get sick, I start to feel pain in my back and legs, I’ll listen to the prayer, and I don’t feel any pain. If someone insults me, I only remember how I love the Jesus Prayer; at once the insult and resentment will pass, and I’ll forget everything. Suddenly I’ll become insane, I’ll have no cares whatsoever, I won’t stare at anything frivolous, and I’ll be alone. Only by habit do I want to continue doing the Jesus Prayer and when I’ve done so, I feel very cheerful. God knows what’s happening to me. Of course, all this is sensuous, or as the deceased old man used to say, natural and artificial, due to habit; but I dare not yet venture to start learning and mastering the spiritual prayer inside my heart due to my unworthiness and stupidity. I’m waiting for the will of God, hoping to receive the prayer of my deceased old man. So, though I have not yet reached the always necessary, spontaneous interior spiritual prayer in my heart, thanks be to God, I now clearly understand the meaning of the expression I heard in the Apostle:
“Continue to pray unceasingly.”
For a long time I traveled to various places, accompanied by the prayer of Jesus—which encouraged and comforted me on all roads, at every meeting and in every case. Finally, I felt that it would be better to stop somewhere, both for convenient solitude and to study The Love of Goodness, which I had been reading little by little while resting on my journey, or during the day’s rest. However, there was a strong desire to immerse myself in it and, with faith, to draw from it real instruction for the salvation of the soul through the heart’s prayer. But as, according to this desire, I could not find a job anywhere, nor could I engage in any work, due to my inability to do things with my left hand since childhood; and therefore, being unable to have a permanent place to stay, I went to the land of Siberia, to Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, with the intention that I would walk silently through the forests and steppes of Siberia, and it would be more convenient for me to engage in prayer and reading. So I went, and continually made silent prayer. After a short time, I felt that prayer itself was somehow beginning to move into my heart, that is, my heart, by its normal beat, began to speak to itself from time to time, saying, for example: “Oh, Lord!” “Oh, Jesus!” “Oh, Christ,” etc. I stopped saying prayer with my mouth, and began to listen with attention to what my heart was saying, remembering how the late elder had taught me how pleasant it was. Then I began to feel a subtle pain in my heart, and in my thoughts, such love for Jesus Christ that it seemed as if I would rush to His feet if I saw Him, and would not let them go from my hands, caressing them sweetly to tears, but thanks to the fact that He gives such a joy in His name, He is kind.
Further, some beneficial exultation began to appear in my heart, and this warmth spread throughout my chest. This particularly drew me to the diligent reading of The Love of Goodness, in order to trust my feelings and to study further in the art of inner heart prayer, because without this confidence I was afraid that I would not fall into vain glory, or not attribute natural actions to graces, and not fool myself with the rapid acquisition of prayer, as I heard from the late elder. Therefore, I began to walk more at night, and spent the days mainly with reading The Love of Goodness, sitting in the woods under the trees. Ah, how much new, how much wise and still unknown was revealed to me through reading! By practicing it, I enjoyed such a delight that I had never been able to imagine before. Though some places were incomprehensible for my simple mind when I read, the consequences of inner prayer explained my misunderstanding; besides, occasionally I saw in a dream the late elder, who explained many things to me, and increasingly inclined my simple soul to humility. For two summer months, I delighted in this way. I traveled more through the woods and trails: if I came to a village, I would ask for a bag of bread, a handful of salt, and a leveled container of water, and then went again a hundred steps.
From sins – either of my own unrighteous soul or for lack of growth in the spiritual life, or for the sake of better instruction and experience – temptations began to appear towards the end of summer. Specifically, I came upon a large road, and in the twilight two people who looked like soldiers’ heads approached me; they began to demand money. When I explained that I had not a single kopeck, they did not believe me and shouted insolently:
“You are lying! Wanderers collect a lot of money!” One of them said: “What’s the point in talking to this man?” He struck me with a stick on the head so hard that I fainted. I don’t know how long I lay unconscious; but when I woke up, I saw that I was lying by the side of the road near the forest, completely exhausted and my bag was nowhere to be seen; only the cut ropes on which it was carried. Thank God, they did not take my passport, which was in my old hat, in case I needed to present it immediately where they were demanding it. Rising, I wept bitterly, not so much from the headache as from the loss of my books, the Bible, and The Joyful Word, which were in the bag. Not a day nor a night passed without my lamenting and weeping. Where is my Bible, which I had read since childhood and always carried with me? Where is my Joyful Word, from which I drew both instruction and consolation? I have come to be deprived of my first and last treasure in my life without having filled myself with it. It is better for me to be killed than to live without this spiritual food! I can no longer buy them again!
I could hardly move my legs for two days, crushed by this grief; and on the third, completely exhausted, I fell under a bush and fell asleep. And here I am in a dream, as if I were in a cell in the desert complaining of my misfortune to my old man. The old man comforts me, saying: This is a lesson for you in unselfishness toward worldly things in order to walk more easily to heaven. It is allowed to you for the sake of this so that you do not drop, and of spiritual gluttony. God wants the Christian absolutely to give up his own will, desire and any attachment to it completely and to surrender to His divine will. He ordains all circumstances for the benefit and salvation of man. Everyone wants to be saved. And therefore, take heart and believe that God will also provide a way out and an excess. And you will soon be comforted much more than you currently mourn. With these words, I woke up, felt my strength renewed, and had a sort of dawn and tranquillity in my heart. Let it be the will of God, I said, I made the sign of the cross, rose up, and went on. Prayer again began to act in my heart as before, and I walked peacefully for three days.
Suddenly, on the road, I caught up with a convoy of wagons carrying books. As I compared them, I saw two men who had robbed me, and since they were walking on the side of the others, I fell at their feet and asked them earnestly where my books were. At first they did not pay any attention to me, and then one of them began to say: If you give us something, we will tell you where your books are. Give us the whole of it. I promised that I would give it, that I would certainly give it, even if I had to travel the world for Christ’s sake; here, take my passport as a pledge. They said that my books were being transported in the convoy, along with other stolen items. How can I get them? Ask the captain who is leading us. I ran to the captain and explained everything in detail. By the way, he asked me: Can you read the Bible? Not only can I read everything, I answered, but I can also write: you will see on the Bible the name of its owner, and in my passport, too, is written the same name and surname. The captain began to say: These escapees are thieves. They lived in a dugout and robbed many. They were caught yesterday by a clever engineer, who wanted to cheat them out of a trinket. Apparently, I will give you your books when they are here; but come with us for the night; it is not far away, four versts away, and you will not have to stop the stage and the convoy. I was glad to walk beside the captain’s horse, and talked with him. I saw that he was a good and honest man, and not a young man. He asked me who I was, where I was going, and where I was going. I answered everything truthfully; and so we reached the stage station house. He found my books and gave them to me, and said: where are you going at night, stay here in my waiting room. I stayed.We sat down at the table, and the captain began to tell us: I had served in the army for many years, not in a garrison; I knew the service and was well-liked by the officers as a competent first lieutenant. But at that time I was young and had friends; I happened to get into the habit of drinking, and in time the harm of it began to take effect; when I wasn’t drinking, I was a competent officer, but whenever I had a drink, I lay on the bed for six weeks. They put up with me for a long time, and at last, because of the harshness of the chief, they took punitive steps against me, in the form of transferring me to the rank of a soldier for a period of three years, and also to the garrison; they threatened that if I did not improve my behavior and overcome the habit of drinking I’d be subject to the most severe punishment. In this unhappy state, no matter how much I tried to keep from drinking, or how much I attempted to cure myself, I could not stop my addiction. Therefore they wanted to send me to the prison companies. When I heard that, I did not know what to do.I listened to this, and I said to him: “How can I help your Gospel, when none of my efforts or medical references could keep me?” I said this because I had never read the Gospels. Don’t say that, the monk replied, assuring me that it would benefit. The next day the monk brought me this Gospel. I opened it, looked at it, read it, and said: “I won’t take it; there’s nothing here you don’t understand; and I’m not used to reading the church seal.” The monk continued to persuade me that there is a blessed power in the words of the Gospel, because it contains what God himself said. You needn’t worry that you don’t understand; just read it carefully. One saint said: “If you don’t understand the words of God, then the demons understand what you’re reading and are trembling; after all, the drunkenness infection inevitably excites demons.” Well, I’ll tell you something else: St. John Chrysostom says that even the same temple in which the Gospel is kept scares the demons of drunkenness and becomes uncomfortable for their plots. I can’t remember— I gave something to the monk, I took the Gospel from him, and I put it in a box with my other things and forgot about it. After some time, the time came for me to seek forgiveness for my sins, and death wanted wine, so I unlocked the box more quickly in order to get some money and run to the tavern. The first thing I saw was the Gospel, and I quickly remembered everything the monk told me; I opened it and began to read Matthew’s first chapter. After reading it to the end, I didn’t understand a thing; and I remembered what the monk had said: “It’s not necessary to worry that you don’t understand; just read it carefully.” I thought, “I’ll read another chapter; as soon as I started it, suddenly the bell rang in the barracks: ‘To the wards to bed.’ So I couldn’t leave the gates; so I stayed there.”Listen, ever since I was healed from drunkenness, I’ve made a vow to read the Bible every day throughout my life, for an entire Gospel per day; regardless of any obstacles. And now I do that. If I have a lot of work and get very tired, then when I lie down in the evening, I force my wife or son to read the entire Gospel to me, and thus I unwaveringly follow this rule. In gratitude and to the glory of God, I had this Gospel minted in pure silver, and I always wear it on my chest.
After walking a hundred paces, I remembered that I had promised the soldiers an inheritance which I had unexpectedly just then found. Should I give it to them or not? One thought said to me that they had beaten me and robbed me, and that it would not be right for them to take it as their own, because they were in custody. But another thought suggested something else: remember that the Bible says: “If your enemy wants to, let him swallow you.” I returned, and just as I was approaching the barracks, they all dragged their bags out to drive them to the next station. I quickly ran up to them, took the inheritance that had been mine, and said: “Flee and pray: Christ is merciful, and he will not leave you!” And with that, I turned away from them and went in another direction on my own road.
We walked 50 paces along a big road, and I decided to head down a path to be more secluded and comfortable while reading. I walked through the woods for a long time, occasionally passing small villages. Sometimes I spent the whole day in the forest, diligently reading The Love of God. I gained a lot of strange insights from it. My heart was burning to be united with God through inner prayer, which I wanted to learn, under the guidance and verification of The Love of God; and with that I felt sad that I could not find a place of rest where I could read and meditate constantly.
At the same time, I was also reading my Bible and felt that I was beginning to understand it more clearly, not as I had once, when a lot seemed mysterious to me, and I often found myself surprised. The holy fathers rightly say that The Love of God is the key to opening the mysteries of the sacred writings. With its guidance, I began to understand the hidden meaning of the Word of God; I began to see what a person’s inner secret is, what true prayer is, what spiritual worship is, what the kingdom is within us, what it is to have the indescribable yearning of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, what it is to have your heart, what it means to be clothed in Christ, what it means to seal the Spirit in our hearts: Father, and so on and so forth. As I began to pray with my heart, everything around me seemed to me in a wonderful light: trees, grass, birds, earth, air, light, everything seemed to tell me that they exist for man, they testify to God’s love for man, and everything prays, everything sings the glory of God. And I understood from this what is called in the book of The Love of God “the preaching of the things created” and saw the way in which we can converse with God’s creatures.
Meeting with a forest man in a deserted forest
Many hours I wandered like this. At last I came to a place so remote that there was no village for three days. My provisions were all out, and I was very distressed lest I should die of hunger. When I began to pray with my heart, the despair passed, I placed myself entirely in God’s hands, and became cheerful and calm. As we walked along the road that led to a vast forest, I saw a watchdog emerge from the forest; I called it and it came up to me and began to lick my face. I rejoiced, and thought: “This is a sign from God! There must be a flock being pastured somewhere in this forest, and it is quite certain that there is a herder or a hunter here, for whom this dog is watching. Whether it is the former or the latter, somehow I can beg a little bread – for I haven’t eaten for two days or more; or else, I can at least ask where a settlement is near by.” The dog turned to the narrow path that led out to the road, and followed it. I followed it; after going some 200 paces, I saw the dog enter a burrow, from which it came out to bark.”I was, he said, the last person in my village. I had a skill, I painted kumach, and dyed the paint blue, and I lived in prosperity, although not without sins: I cheated a lot on trade, made unnecessary promises; I abounded in profanity, drank, and fought. There was an old uncle in our village who had an ancient, ancient book about the terrible judgment. He used to go to church and read, and he was given money for it; he also came to me. Sometimes he would get ten kopecks, and even half a ruble. That’s how I would listen while sitting at work, and he would read about the torments we will suffer in hell, how the living will change, and the dead will rise, how God will come to judge, how the angels will sound the trumpets and what fire, tar, and how the sinners will eat. Once, when I was listening to this, I became frightened, I thought: I can’t escape the torments! I will strive to save my soul, perhaps my sins will be forgiven. I thought and thought, and I abandoned my craft, sold the house, and, being alone, went to beggars in order to earn my bread, clothes, and wax candles for prayer.”
Listening to this, I regretted him and thought to myself: it is said that some scholars and intellectuals are freethinkers and do not believe in anything, and our brethren – simple men who plot disbelief! Apparently, the dark world has been given access to everyone, and it attacks the simple more easily. As far as we can, let us try our best to strengthen ourselves against the adversary with the Word of God. So, in order to help and support the faith of these brothers as much as possible, I took out a Book of Goodness from my bag, found a chapter by Saint Isaac the Syrian, read it and began to explain it to him, saying that the practice of avoiding sins, fearing torment, is unsuccessful and unprofitable, and it is impossible to free the soul from imaginary sins, nor to avoid mindful sins. Therefore, everything is acquired by interior prayer, and not only by fearing hellish torment, but even by desiring the kingdom of heaven, if one begins to perform saving deeds, then the holy fathers call this a mercenary act. They say that fear of torment is the path of a slave, and desire for an eternal reward is the path of a mercenary. And God wants us to walk towards Him along the path of sonship, that is, to behave honestly out of love and diligence towards Him and to enjoy a saving union with Him in our souls and hearts.
No matter how hard you try, what kind of physical work and deeds you want to endure; but if you do not always have God in your mind, and if you do not constantly pray the prayer of Jesus in your heart, then you will never be calmed by thoughts, and you will always be inclined to sin, even under the most minor circumstances. Please, brother, continue to practice the prayer of Jesus without ceasing; it is convenient and comfortable for you in this seclusion; you will soon see the benefits. Sins will no longer come to your mind, faith and love for Jesus Christ will be revealed to you; you will learn that the dead will rise again, and the terrible judgment day will seem to you as it really will. And there will be such ease and joy in your heart from prayer that you will be surprised and will no longer be bored or troubled by your saving life.
Next, as best I could, I explained to him how to begin and continue the ceaseless prayer of Jesus, and how the Word of God and the holy fathers teach it. He must have, it seems, shown a certain consent to this and became calm. After that, I separated from him and locked myself up in the old cellar indicated to me.
Results of Jesus Prayer Practice Alone
Oh my God! What joy, peace and delight I felt as I stepped into the cave – or, better said, the tomb – and found it a wonderful royal palace, full of all pleasures and delights. With tears of joy I thanked God and thought: “Now it is time to carefully focus on my task and ask the Lord for enlightenment.” So, first of all, I began to read The Ladder of Descent to the Heart of God (the Russian edition translates this as The Study of Love). I read it all, from beginning to end, with great attention. I read it quickly and saw how wise, holy, and profound it is. But since it contains many different subjects, expressed in various teachings of the holy fathers, I could not understand everything and bring it all together, in particular, for the purpose of studying continuous automatic prayer in the heart. And I wanted to do just that, according to God’s command through the Apostle: “Desire the gifts of the Spirit” () and again: “Do not let the Spirit within you be stifled ().” My mind was not strong enough, and I had no one to interpret anything for me. I began to pester the Lord with prayer. Perhaps the Lord will somehow enlighten me. After that, I did nothing for a whole day but pray incessantly, without stopping for a moment. My thoughts calmed down and I fell asleep. And what do I see in a dream? I am in the cell of my deceased elder, and he is interpreting The Ladder of Descent to the Heart of God. He says: “This holy book is full of great wisdom. It is a secret treasure of understanding God’s inner mysteries. It is not available to everyone, and not at all places. However, as far as each believer is concerned, it contains instructions for the wise – wisdom for the wise, for the simple – simplicity for the simple. That is why, O friends, you should not read it in the order in which the books of the holy fathers are arranged one after another. There, this is the biblical order; and for the unlearned person who wants to learn about inner prayer from The Ladder of Descent to the Heart of God, it should be read in the following order:
1) First, read the book Nikiforosy of monasticism (in 2 parts); then
If you desire even clearer instruction on prayer, then find an image of prayer by Saint Kalistos, Patriarch of Constantinople, at 4 a.m. While holding the book The Good-Liberal in my hands, I began to search for the instruction that is there, but could not find it immediately. The Elder lifted a few pages up, and said: “Here it is!” I memorised the text he’d pointed out, and placed the charcoal near it on the page. Everything the Elder said, I listened to carefully, and tried to memorise it as completely and as carefully as possible.
I woke up, and although it wasn’t yet light, I was still lying down, repeating in my mind everything I had seen in my dream and what the Elder had told me. In the end, I began to think: God knows whether the soul of the late Elder is present in me, or whether my own thoughts are so arranged, since I often and much think of The Good-Liberal and the Elder? This surprise made me get up, and it was already light. And what do I see? The book The Good-Liberal folded on the same spot on the stone, which the Elder had shown me, and marked with charcoal, exactly as I had seen in the dream, and even the charcoal itself was lying next to the book. This surprised me, because I clearly remember that in the evening the book had not been here; it was folded and lying within me, and I also clearly remember that there had been no notes on the marked spot earlier. This incident confirmed for me the truthfulness of the dream, and of the godly memory of my Elder. I began reading The Good-Liberal according to the same order that the Elder had shown me. I read once, and then read the same again and again, and this reading kindled my zeal and determination to test all that was read in action. It became clear and understandable to me what inner prayer is, what tools are necessary to achieve it, and what happens from it; and how it pleases the soul and the heart, and how to recognise this delight, whether it is from God, or from the creature, or from beauty.
So, first of all, I began to find the heart center, following the instructions of Symeon the New Theologian. Closing my eyes, I looked with the mind, that is, with the imagination, in my heart, wanting to imagine what it is like in the left half of my chest and listened attentively to its beat. So I started with half an hour, several times a day; at first I noticed nothing except darkness; then it soon began to appear in my heart and signal the movement therein; then I began to introduce and withdraw the Jesus Prayer along with my breathing into the heart, following the instructions of St. Gregory of Sinai, Callejapas and Ignatius, that is, by inhaling air, with mental contemplation in my heart, I imagined and said: Lord Jesus Christ, and by exhaling the air, I prayed: Have mercy. At first I was doing this for an hour or two, then the more I did so, the more frequently I began to practice it, and finally I spent almost the whole day in this occupation. When fatigue or laziness or doubt approached, I immediately began to read in the Doctrine of the Roman Martyrs the places that teach about the workings of the heart, and I felt a surge of energy and persistence in prayer. After three weeks, I began to feel pain in my heart, then a pleasant warmth in it, comfort and peace. This excited and encouraged me to practice prayer even more and with greater effort, so that all my thoughts were occupied with it, and I experienced great joy. From this time on, I began to feel various emotions in my heart and mind. Sometimes it seemed that the heart was gushing with joy, it felt so light, free and happy that I was completely transformed and in ecstasy. Sometimes there was a burning love for Jesus Christ and for all of God’s creation. Sometimes sweet tears of thanksgiving poured out of my own accord to the Lord who had graced me, a sinful sinner. Sometimes my old senseless concept became so clear that I could easily understand and reflect on things that I had never been able to even imagine. Sometimes a heartfelt sweet warmth flowed throughout my entire being and I felt the presence of God everywhere. Sometimes I experienced the greatest joy at the name of Jesus Christ and I recognized the meaning of what He said: The kingdom of God is within you .For several months I spent alone in this prayerful occupation, enjoying the sensations I had described, and I had become so accustomed to heartfelt prayer that I practised it continuously and, at last, felt that prayer was produced and uttered in my mind and heart, not in my mind; but even in my dreams it acted in the same way, and was not interrupted by anything, not for a single moment no matter what I did. My soul thanked God and my heart was in constant joy. The time for logging had come, the people were leaving, and I had to leave my silent house. Thanking the forest zealot, I prayed, kissed the spot of earth upon which God had honored me with His undeserved grace, put my bag with the books on my shoulders, and set out. I wandered about in various places for a long time until I reached Irkutsk. Devout, self-generated prayer was a consolation and a joy along all the way, at all the meetings. It never stopped delighting me, though to varying degrees, wherever I was, whatever I was doing, it did not interfere with anything and did not diminish at all. If I was working, and prayer was in my heart, the work would go more quickly; if I was listening attentively to something or reading, prayer did not stop and, at the same time, I felt both it and the other, as though I had been divided into two or had two souls in one body. My God! what a mysterious person!
I overcame thy works, O Lord. I created all wisdom. I once followed a path filled with strange things and events. If I were to relate them all, I would never cease doing so for a day; but here is an example: one winter, one man was going to a village to spend the night, two versts away. Then a great wolf attacked and started to stalk him. I had wool yarn in my hands (I always carried it around). I hit the wolf with them and he was hit with my grooves. And what? The grooves broke out of my hands and somehow got stuck in the wolf’s throat, and he ran away from me and, jumping over a rowan bush, got tangled up with his hind legs in the bushes, while the spools caught on the trunk of a dry tree and started to struggle. But it was inconvenient for him to escape, because the spools kept tight on his throat. I crossed myself in faith and set out to save the wolf. But mostly I thought that if he broke the spools and ran off with them, then my valuable spools would be lost too. As soon as I approached him and grabbed the spools, the wolf actually broke them and ran away without a trace. So I thanked God and, remembering my blessed elder, came safely to the village; I went to a lodging house and asked to spend the night there. I went into a hut. Two men were sitting at the table in the front corner, one an old man and the other a rather plump middle-aged man who looked like he was not an ordinary person. I asked the man who was at their horse how they were related. He told me that the old man was the headmaster of the public school, and the other person was a district court clerk: both of them were nobles. I took them to the market, which was twenty versts away from here. After a while, I asked Grandma for a needle and thread, went to the candle and began to sew my broken spools. The clerk looked at me and said, “Apparently you had to bow well, because you broke the spools.” I didn’t break them; the wolf did. “Do wolves pray?” said the clerk, laughing. I told them in detail how the incident happened and how precious these spools were to me. The clerk laughed again and said, “It seems to you, people of the peasantry, that there are miracles everywhere!” But what’s the point in them? There is nothing holy about them. You simply grabbed an egg, and the wolf was frightened and ran; for both dogs and wolves are afraid of eggs, and it is not unusual to get tangled up in the forest; there are not many things in the world that are worth believing in. After hearing this, the teacher started a conversation with him: “Don’t say that, good man! You have no scholarly education, but you have tried to teach a brief sacred history of the Old and New Testament, published in the form of questions and answers for schools. The old man whose spools this was, was a saint: but what does holiness mean? Not that, but that by extraordinary deeds the innocent state of the first man is restored in the sinful person. When a soul is sanctified, the body is sanctified too. The prongs were always in the hands of the saint, so that through the touch of his hands and the fragrances from them, a holy power was infused into them: the power of the innocent state of the first man. This is the mystery of the spiritual nature! The clerk said: “There are no such things for you, intellectuals. All your powers and wisdom; but we are so simple: just take a glass of vodka and punch it, and it will be power,
On my way, I thanked God for the conversation with the teacher, and prayed to the scribe that the Lord would arrange for him to read The Love of Goodness at least once and teach him about salvation.
Meeting with a God-fearing priest
One spring, when I arrived in a village, I had to stay with a priest. He was a good and lonely man. I spent three days with him. After examining me, he began to tell me: stay with me, I will pay you; I need a conscientious person; you have seen that a new stone church is being built in place of the old wooden one. I cannot find a reliable person who would look after the workers and sit in the chapel to collect alms for the construction; but I see that you would be able to do this, and you would have a good life on your way; you would have sat alone in the chapel and prayed to God. There was even a hut separated for a guard. Although I refused at first, I agreed at the persuasion of the priest. And I stayed there for the summer until autumn. So I began to live in the chapel. At first it was peaceful and convenient for me to practice prayer, although many people came to the chapel, especially on festive days, some to pray, some to rest, and others to collect something from the collection plate. And as I sometimes read the Bible or The Love of Goodness, some of those who came started talking to me, and others asked me to read something to them.
After some time, I noticed that a peasant girl often came to the chapel and prayed to God for a long time. Listening to her muttering, I found out that she was reciting some strange prayers, and others were completely twisted. I asked her who had taught her this. She said that her mother, who was a church lady, and her father was a dissolute wanderer. Feeling sorry for all this, I advised her to read the prayers correctly, according to the tradition of the holy church, and therefore interpreted to her: Our Father, and the Virgin Mary, Be Glad. And finally, I said: do it more often and more often, Jesus’ prayer; it is more profitable than all prayers to God, and you will receive the salvation of your soul through it. The girl accepted my advice with attention and began to do so simply. And what happened? Soon she told me that she was used to Jesus’ prayer, that she felt an inexplicable urge, that if it were possible, she would devote herself to it and when she prayed, she felt pleasure and, after finishing, she also felt joy and the urge to pray again. I was delighted by this and advised her to continue praying in the name of Jesus Christ.
The summer was drawing to an end. Many of those who came to the chapel began to come to me, not only for reading and counsel, but also with various life concerns, and even for recognition in search of lost things and disappearances; evidently, others considered me a fortune-teller. Finally, the girl in question came to me with a complaint, asking what to do. Her father was going to marry her against her will to a man of dubious character, and he would do so in a sham marriage. What sort of legal marriage is that, she exclaimed, no matter! I want to run away, wherever my eyes look. I told her: “where else can you escape without being found? You can’t hide anywhere these days; now they will find you everywhere. It’s better, however, to pray harder for God so that He will ruin your father’s plan and save your soul from sin and heresy. That will be safer than running away.”
Time went on, and becoming intolerably loud and pointless, I decided to leave the chapel and continue on my path as before. I went to the priest and began to tell him: “You are well acquainted with my ways, Father. I need silence to pray, but here it is too distracting and harmful. I have fulfilled my duty to you, I spent the summer here: now release me and bless me for my solitary path.” The priest did not want to release me, and he began to persuade me: “What is preventing you from praying here? What else do you do besides sitting in the chapel? You have bread ready, and you are perfectly able to do so. Perhaps here you pray day and night; you live with God. You are capable and helpful to this place, you do not argue with the little things that come to you, but you bring the church of God to profit and collect income. That is better before God than your solitary prayer. What is wrong with you being alone, praying with the people is more fun. God created man not so that he would only know himself, but so that people would help each other, lead each other to salvation, each as they could. Look at the saints and all the great teachers; they worked day and night and took care of the church, and they preached everywhere, not hiding from people.
Each person, Father, has his own God given to him; there were many preachers, and there were many hermits. Those who found themselves inclined to something, did just that and believed that it was God Himself who pointed out to them the path of salvation. And how do you judge me: that many saints abandoned their episcopate, abbacy, and priesthood and went into isolated deserts, in order not to be ashamed among the people? Thus St. Isaac the Syrian went from his Episcopal flock; thus the revered Anthony of the Ascension abandoned his large monastery; and precisely because these places were tempting for them, and because they truly believed the voice of Jesus Christ: “What is it to any man to gain the whole world, and to lose his own soul?”
Later in the evening, a steward, passing through the village, stopped at the election office; and he was told what had happened. He ordered a meeting to be convened, and me to be brought to the judges’ house. We entered, stood still, and waited. Here the steward came, already in a high spirit, sat down at the table in his uniform, and shouted, “Hey, Epiphane! Didn’t the girl, your daughter, carry away anything from the courtyard?” Nothing, Father! No, Father! So, as we judge the case and decide: you take care of your daughter yourself; and tomorrow we will interrogate and torture this young man, and firmly order him not to show himself here anymore. That’s all! Having said this, the steward got up from the table and went to bed; and I was once again put in detention. Early in the morning, two men, a centurion and a corporal, dragged me out and released me; and I went, thanking God that he had granted me to suffer for his name. This consoled me and even warmed me all the more with incessant heart prayer.Then he began to say: Beware of your spirit and do not worry! Remember what the Apostle said: “Greater is your strength than the world’s”. Today you have experientially learned that no temptation is let through that is beyond human power; yet “the temptations are brought about by God and rapidly brought to their consequences”. Hope in this divine assistance strengthened and guided the jealously and zeal of the holy prayerful ones, who not only lived their whole lives in constant prayer by themselves, but also, out of love, taught and showed it to others, whenever and wherever the opportunity offered itself. This is what Saint Gregory the Theologian of Nyssa said: “Not only do we, according to the commandment of God, merit to pray continually in the name of Christ, but we should also teach and make known this to other monks, lay people, intellectuals and simple country folk, men and women, and children; and we should also urge them to be zealous in that regard. In a similar vein, the Reverend Callistus of Antiliquitta says: “Neither intellectual doctrine about the Lord (i.e., interior prayer), nor contemplative knowledge, nor methods of carrying out the soul’s works, should be kept just to our own minds; instead, we must record them, distribute them, and make them common currency for the benefit of all.” Similarly, the Word of God also says, “Let us help one another, for the wall is strong and high” (Ez 22:26). Only in this way should we stay clear of senseless boasting and careful safeguarding, lest the seed of divine teaching be sown to the wind. I woke up one day, feeling great joy and strength in my soul, and set off on my journey again.
To spend this day in peace, without any obstacles to spiritual joy, I asked the church keeper to stay in the cell overnight. All day long I was in indescribable joy and heartfelt sweetness. I lay on the beds in this unheated cellar, as if I were resting on the bed of Abraham: prayer worked powerfully. Love for Jesus Christ and Our Lady, like sweet waves, rolled up in my heart and seemed to plunge my soul into delight. By night, suddenly I felt a strong sinking in my feet, and I remembered that they were wet. Ignoring this, I began to listen more attentively to my heart with prayer and I ceased to feel pain. When morning came, I wanted to get up, but I saw that I could not move my feet at all; they had completely relaxed, like jelly; the keeper barely managed to lift me from the beds. So I sat there still for two days. On the third day, the keeper began to drive me out of the cell, saying: If you die here, go after me. As soon as I somehow crawled out, I lay down on the church steps.
Finally, he began to treat me. He gathered four different kinds of infected bones, both animal and bird, and of all kinds, from fields, yards, and cesspits, and cleaned and crushed them with a stone and put them into a large pile. He covered the pile with a lid that had a hole in it, and threw it into a dug-out pot that was empty. Then he covered the pile with clay and, by placing wooden sticks on top of it, heated it throughout the night. The next day, he dug up the pot from the ground, and a thick liquid flowed through the hole in the lid from the pile, red in color, greasy, and rancid, like raw rotting meat. The bones in the pile were now white and clean, like mother-of-pearl or pearls. I used this liquid to rub my feet several times a day. On the third day, I was already able to bend and unbend my legs, and on the fifth day, I stood on them and walked around the yard with a stick. In short, within a week my feet were as strong as before. I thanked God for this and thought to myself: What wisdom of God there is in animals! Dry bones that had rotted almost completely were preserved by the earth with their life force, color, odor, and their effect on living bodies, as if they communicated life to lifeless bodies. This is a pledge of the future resurrection of bodies. Oh, if only I could show this to that landowner I was staying with, whose doubts about the general resurrection!
Do not think, Father, so much about that holy book. It was not written by simple Greek monks, but by great and holy people whose church venerates, somehow (Anthony the Great, Makariy the Great, Marc the Ascetic, John the Golden-Mouthed and others). And the Indian and Bukharian monks inherited in them a hearty way of worship, but they distorted and even distorted it, as my elder told me. In the Dobrotolubiya, all the instructions about the inward worship are drawn from the Word of God, from the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ who commanded us to read, “Our Father,” commanded unceasing inner worship, saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind,” “watch and pray,” “be in Me, and I in you.” And the saints, citing holy King David from the Psalms: “Taste and see that the Lord is good,” interpret it in such a way that a Christian should seek and attain sweetness in prayer by all means and constantly seek happiness in it, and not just once a day read, “Our Father.” Here I will read to you how these saints condemn those who do not seek to obtain and study a sweet inner worship. They write that such sinners sin in that: 1) they consider sacred Scripture to be contradictory, 2) they do not assume the highest and most perfect state for the soul, but being satisfied with external virtues, they cannot have the thirst for truth, and therefore they are deprived of the beatitude and joy of the Lord’s virtues, often fall into vanity or pride and thereby are diverted. This is something high, the steward said, where should the common people pursue this! Here I will read to you something simpler and about how good people taught continual prayer in their worldly life. I found a saying by Theophan the Recluse about George the youth and began to read it. The steward liked it, and he said to me, “Give me to read this book sometime when I have time; I can’t at the moment, because I read it every day and I can’t do without it.” But at least write it down for me, what you have just read; I will pay you. I do not need your money, and I will happily transcribe it, so that God would grant you the studiousness for prayer. Immediately I was willing to copy what I had just read. He read it to his wife, and both of them liked it. From time to time, they began to send me. I went to them with the Dobrotolubiya; I read there, and they, sitting over tea, listened. Sometimes they let me have lunch. The steward’s wife, a kind old woman, sat with us and ate fried fish. Once, through negligence, she choked on a bone; whatever aid they did not give her, they could not free her, she felt severe pain in her throat, and for two hours she lay down. They sent for a doctor for 30 versts away, and I, feeling sorry, went home in the evening.One night, in the thin snow, I heard the voice of my old man, but I could not see anyone; the voice said to me: “Here your master has healed you, and you cannot help the mistress? God has commanded us to have compassion on our neighbor.” With all my heart I would have helped her, but I do not know what to do. Well, here’s what you do: she has hated olive oil from the beginning of her life, not only to eat it, but she cannot even stand its smell without feeling sick; that’s why give her a spoonful of olive oil to drink. It will tear her up, the bone will come out, and the wound in her throat, which the bone has scraped, will be smeared with the oil, and she will recover. How can I give it to her when she hates it? She will not drink it? I woke up immediately and went to the master and told him about this in detail. He said, “What will you do with your oil now?” Here she is coughing and moaning, and her neck is swollen. But we’d better test it—oil is harmless medicine, though it won’t do any good. He poured olive oil into a cup and gave it to her to swallow a little. Immediately, there was intense vomiting, and soon the bone came out with blood; she felt better, and fell fast asleep. In the morning, I came to see her and saw that she was sitting quietly over her tea, and along with her husband, they were both amazed by the healing. What was more, as I was told in a dream, she did not like olive oil, because no one except them both knew it. Then a doctor arrived, and the mistress told him what had happened to her, and I told him. The doctor, after listening, said, “Neither this nor that case is strange. In both of them, the power of nature acted, but for memory’s sake, I will write this down in a record book.” He took a pencil and wrote it down in a record book.
Here I went to Irkutsk. Kneeling down to the holy relics of St. Innocent, I began to think: where should I go now? And I did not want to stay in this city for long, because it is very crowded. I walked along the street, and met a merchant here who stopped me and began to say: you are a wanderer. Why don’t you come to my house? So we came to his rich house. He asked me who I was, and I told him about my origins. After listening, he began to say to me: Oh, how I wish you would go to old Jerusalem. There is a holy place like no other! I would be happy to go there, I answered, but I have no money for such a dry journey; I can walk to the sea, but there is no way to pay for the crossing, I need a lot of money. Do you want me to provide you with a means, said the merchant. Last year, I sent an old man from our town there. I fell at his feet, and he began to say: Listen, I will give you a letter to my son in Odessa. He lives there and has trading relations with Constantinople. He has ships, and he will gladly take you to Constantinople, and there he will instruct his employees to hire you a place on a ship to Jerusalem and pay you money. After all, it is not very expensive. When I heard that, I was overjoyed, thanked this benefactor of mine for his kindness, and thanked God even more for his paternal love and care for me, the wicked sinner who does no good to himself or to people, and who eats up other people’s bread in their living room. And so I spent three days with this beneficent merchant. He wrote me a letter to his son on my promise about me; and here I am going now to Odessa, with the intention of reaching the holy city of Jerusalem: but I do not know whether the Lord will allow me to venerate His life-giving Throne.
Third story
Before leaving Irkutsk, I went to see the spiritual father with whom I had been holding conversations, and said to him, “Here I am on the way to Jerusalem; I have come to say goodbye and thank him for the Christian love he has shown me, a worthless migrant. He said to me, ‘God bless your path.’ But since you did not tell me anything about yourself, who you are and where you come from, I have heard many things about your travels from you; it would be interesting to know about your background and your life before your travels.”
Well, I said, “I will be happy to tell you this too. This is not a long story.”
An account of the layman’s life and his former worldly life
I was born in the village of the Orlov region. After my father and mother, there were only two of us, my brother and I. He was ten years old, and I was two years old – the third. That is how Grandpa took us in for upbringing. He was an old wealthy and honest man, who kept a roadside farm on a large road, and because of his kindness many travelers stayed with him. We began to live with him; my brother was lively, and he was constantly running around the village, while I spent more time with Grandpa. On holidays, we went to church with him, and at home he often read the Bible, the very one that I have. My brother grew up and became bad, – he used to drink. I was seven years old; once I was lying with my brother on the stove, and he pushed me off, and injured my left hand. Since then, I have not been able to use it at all, – it has withered up.
My grandfather, seeing that I would not be able to do any work in the fields, began teaching me to read. Since we had no textbooks, he taught me to read from the Bible, in his own way: he would point out sounds, make me form words, and teach me letters. To this day, I do not understand how he got me to learn to read. Finally, when my grandfather could no longer see well, he sometimes made me read the Bible, while he listened and corrected. Our village also had a scribe who wrote beautifully; I would observe him, and I liked the way he wrote. So, I learned to write by following his example. My grandfather was pleased with this and told me: “Now that God has given you an education, you will become a man, so give God thanks for this, and pray more often.” So, we used to go to church for all the services, and at home we prayed a lot; they forced me to read, “Have mercy on me, O God,” and my grandfather and grandmother would bow or kneel. Finally, when I was seventeen years old, my grandmother died. My grandfather began talking to me: “We don’t have a mistress in our house, and without a grandmother? Your older brother is a pig. I want to marry you off.” I was embarrassed considering my disability, but my grandfather insisted, and I was married, and they chose a respectable, twenty-year-old girl. A year passed, and my grandfather fell ill. He called me and said: “Here, you have a house and the whole inheritance. Live according to your conscience, don’t deceive anyone, and pray to God above all. Don’t rely on anything other than God. Go to church, read the Bible, and remember us with your grandmother. You have one thousand rubles. Take care of them, don’t waste them, but don’t accumulate them either. Give to beggars and to God’s churches.”I remained naked and shod, despised and vilified, and was arbitrarily charged with a small house, so that we had to live in poverty. My wife was a skilled needlewoman: she wove, spun, sewed, did work for others, and worked day and night, and she fed me. I could not even tie my shoes with my one arm. She used to spin, and I would sit beside her, read the Bible, and she would listen, and sometimes cry. When I ask her: “What are you crying about? Thank God, we are alive.” Then she would answer: “I am touched by the fact that the Bible is so well written.” We also used to observe our grandparents’ commandments, fasted often, recited the Akathist of the Blessed Virgin Mary every morning, and laid a thousand bows at night to prevent temptation. So we lived peacefully for two years. But this is strange: although we had no idea of inner prayer, which takes place in the heart, and we had never heard of it, we prayed only in a language that was of no use, and we were as crazy as fools chanting bows, but the desire to pray was there, and long, external, meaningless prayer did not seem difficult. Perhaps a teacher said to me the truth: there is a secret prayer within a person that he himself does not know how it works, unknown in the soul, and it awakens him to prayer, whoever knows how and is able to do so.
A fair Russian proverb says: a person plans, and God wills. I told them: I intended to walk to the Holy Mount of Jerusalem, yet this unexpected incident left me here for three more days. And I could not bear not to come and consult you concerning my decision in this case, which had taken place so unexpectedly. After bidding them all farewell, I went on my way with God’s help, and was just about to leave the house when I saw a familiar person outside the gate of the last house. He had once been a wanderer just like me, and I had not seen him for three years. We greeted one another, and he asked me where I was going. I replied: If God willed, I would like to go to Old Jerusalem. Thank God! he exclaimed; here, then, is a good traveling companion. God be with both you and him, I said, do you not know that it is my habit to travel alone, never with other people? But listen carefully: I know that this companion will please you. Just as it will be enjoyable for him to accompany you, so it will be enjoyable for you to accompany him. Behold, there is father of the house’s owner, with whom I am a hired employee. He is also going to Old Jerusalem, and you will be able to travel with him. He is a local citizen; he is an old man and, moreover, quite deaf, so that if you speak to him, he will not be able to hear anything. He will say something to you only if you write it on a paper, and then he will answer; therefore, he will not bore you in the journey; he will have nothing to say to you; even at home he is always silent; and for this reason, you will be useful to him in the journey. His son is giving him a horse and a passport to Odessa, so that there he can sell it. Although the old man would like to walk, nevertheless, for the sake of his luggage and some provisions for the tomb of the Lord, a horse will accompany him as well. You can put your suitcase on the horse immediately. Now consider: how can we send off an old and deaf person alone with a horse in such a long journey? We searched for a guide, but everyone demanded an excessive price, and it was dangerous to send him with an unknown person, since there was money and belongings with him. Do you agree, brother, to do what is right? Think over it for the glory of God and out of love for one’s neighbor. And I assure the landlords about you, and they will be beyond expression in their joy. They are good people and love me very much; I have already been hired by them for two years. After conversing like this near the gate, he led me into the house to the host, and seeing that a meritorious family would be there, I accepted their offer. Alas, so we have arrived on the third day of the Christmas feast, if God wills, after having celebrated the Divine Liturgy.
This is what happens in life, by God’s providence! And as it is written: “And what we want, and what the children of God are.” Upon hearing this, my spiritual father said: “I am very pleased, dear brother, that God has already arranged for you to meet me after a short time. And since you are now free, I will gladly keep you with me longer, and you will tell me more about your instructive encounters that happened on your long journey.” I listened with pleasure and attention to all your former stories. I am happy to do this, I answered, and began to speak.
There was a lot of good and bad things; not everything can be told, but much has passed into the memory, because I tried to remember only what moved and directed my lazy soul toward prayer, and everything else I rarely recalled, or better said- I tried to forget the past, following the instruction of St. Apostle Paul, who said: I strive for the prize, the challenge, forgetting what is behind and reaching toward what is ahead. The deceased, my beloved elder also said that obstacles to heart prayer arise on two sides, from vanities and tall tales, that is, if the enemy does not succeed in distracting us from prayer with vain thoughts and sinful intentions, then he restores eternal memories or tempts prayer, which is intolerable for us. And this is called clear theft, when the soul, carelessly abandoning conversation with God, turns to a pleasant conversation with itself or with animals. And he taught me never to accept even the most beautiful spiritual thought during prayer, and after the day, if I happened to see that more time was spent on instructive reflection and conversation than on effective meaningless prayer of the heart, then this is considered unmeasuredness or selfishness for the necessary, for spiritual greed. in prayer, it was especially important to win the greater number of times spent on other things of piety than on essence-void prayer. But everything cannot be forgotten. Another thing, of course, is deeply ingrained in my memory that I hardly ever remember about it, as for example, one pious family, in which God treated me to stay for a few days with the incident described below.
While traveling through my Tobolsk province, I had to pass through a small town. I had very little willows left, so I entered a house to ask for bread for the road. The owner said to me: “Thank God you came to us at the right time. My wife has just taken the loaves out of the oven. Here you are with a warm pillow; pray to God for us.” I thanked them and began to put the bread in my bag, and the mistress, seeing this, said: “What a poor, worn-out sack! I’ll give you a new one.” Thanking them from the heart, I continued on my way. On the way out, in a small grocery store, I asked for some salt and the grocer put some in a small bag. I blessed their souls and thanked God that He showed me such good people. Now I’ll have no worries about food for a week; I’ll sleep well and be satisfied. Bless your souls, Lord!”
A distance of about nine versts from this town, I saw a poor village and a poorly decorated church, yet well decorated on the outside and painted. As I passed by, I wished to pay homage to the temple of God and entered the churchyard to pray. There were two children playing on the frozen ground, about five or six years old. I thought they were the children of the priest, even though they were very well dressed. So, after praying, I continued on my way. Before I could walk ten steps from the church, I heard a voice from behind me: “Homeless man! homeless man! stay!” They were crying and running toward me; the two little children—boy and girl—grabbed my hand. I’m not a beggar, I told them, I’m just a traveler. And where’s your pouch? You must go with us. No, we must go; our mother will give you money for the road. But where is your mother? She’s behind the church, behind this lane.
They led me into a beautiful garden, in the middle of which I saw a magnificent manor house; we entered the very palaces, what a cleanliness and decoration there was! And a lady came out to meet us. I beseech you, I beseech you for mercy! Where did God send you to us? Sit down, sit down, my dear! She took off my bag, placed it on the table, and seated me on a comfortable stool; do you want to eat? Tea? And are there any needs that you may have? Thank you, I answered, I have all the food I need in my bag. I drink tea though I’m accustomed to it as a peasant; I value your efforts and your kind hospitality more than any food or drink; I will ask God to bless you for your gospel love.
And so I stood up and said: I ask your forgiveness, mother, it’s time for me to leave; may the Lord Jesus Christ be with you and your dear children. Oh, no! God forbid that you leave; let me go. The time has come for my husband to leave from town. He serves as a judge in the district court. How happy he will be to see you! He considers every traveller a messenger of God. And if you leave, he will be very upset not to see you there. Tomorrow is Sunday, you will pray with us at noon, and whatever God has sent, you will share together. We have guests until thirty brothers of Christ beggars. But you didn’t say anything to me about yourself, where you come from and where you are going? Talk to me, I love to listen to spiritual conversations of godly people. Children, children! take the wanderer’s bag and bring it to the icon room, where he will spend the night. Hearing these words of hers, I was surprised, and I thought: is it a person I’m talking to, or what kind of ghost am I facing?
So I stayed there waiting for the gentleman. I told him briefly about my journey and that I was going to Irkutsk. By the way, said the lady, you will definitely go through Tobolsk, and I have a mother there who is a nun in a women’s monastery, and now a skhimniutki; we will give you a letter and she will receive you. Many people come to her for spiritual advice; and by the way, take the book of John Lasker to her, which we copied for her from Moscow, at her request. How will all this work out! Finally, the time came for lunch, and we sat down to eat. Four ladies came and sat down with us. After finishing the first dish, one of the ladies who had come stood up, bowed to the icon, and then bowed to us, went back and brought another dish, and sat down again; then another lady did the same for the third course. Seeing this, I began to say to the hostess: I dare to ask you, woman, are these ladies related to you, or what? Yes, they are my sisters: this is a cook, this is the house maid’s wife, this is the doorkeeper, and this is my maid, and all married, there are no girls in my whole house. Hearing and seeing this, I was even more surprised, I thanked God that He showed me such godly people, and I felt a strong effect of prayer in my heart; and so, to retire as soon as possible and not disturb prayer, getting up from the table, I said to the lady: you need to rest after lunch, and I, by my habit of walking, will go for a walk in the garden. No, I do not rest, said the lady; and I will go with you into the garden, and you will tell me something instructive. If you go alone, the children will not let you alone for a moment; they love beginners, brothers of Christ and travellers.
There was nothing to do, and we left. Entering the garden to make it more convenient for me to keep silent and not speak, I bowed before the lady and said: “Please, mother, in the name of God, tell me, how long have you been living such a pious life and how did you attain this holiness?” Perhaps I will tell you everything. Here, you see, my great-granddaughter is Saint Joasaph, whose body lies in repose in Belgorod. We had a large house in the city, and the outbuilding was rented by a poor nobleman. Finally, he died, and his wife became pregnant, gave birth, and then died. The child remained an orphan. My mother took him in out of pity and raised me. We grew up together, studied at the same teachers, and became accustomed to it as if we were siblings. After a while, my father died, and my mother, having left the urban life, moved with us to this village. When we came of age, she married me off to her foster son, gave us the village, and herself built a cell and entered the monastery. Having given us her paternal blessing, she made us the following testament: to live according to the Christian tradition, to pray diligently to God, and most of all to try to fulfill the most important commandment of God, namely, love for one’s neighbor, to support and help the brothers of Christ, in simplicity and humility, to raise children. That is how we have been living here alone for ten years, trying as much as possible to fulfill the testament of our mother. We also have a brother, in whom more than ten people with disabilities and illnesses currently live; perhaps we will visit them tomorrow.
“Do you have any book on prayer?” I asked. “I love to read about prayer.” There is a new book on prayer, written by a priest from St. Petersburg. The author gave an interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father.” We were pleased with it; and the lady brought tea, and the children brought a whole honey cake, entirely silver, like some sort of biscuit, which I had never tasted before. The master took my book in his hand, gave it to the lady, and said: “Here, we’ll get the lady to read it, she reads very well; while you are doing that, we’ll treat ourselves to something.” The lady started to read; and we began to listen. As I listened to the reading, I listened to the prayer accompanying it, deep within my heart. As the reading continued, the prayer grew more and more intense, and I was pleased with it. Suddenly I saw someone flash past my eyes, in the air, as if my deceased uncle. I started to speak, but to conceal it, I said, “Excuse me. I fell asleep.” Then I felt as if the spirit of my dear departed uncle had entered my mind, as if he had illuminated it; I felt a sort of light in my head and a host of thoughts about the prayer. The moment I made the sign of the cross and tried to dispel those thoughts, the lady had finished the book, and my master asked me: “Did you like this book?” “Very much,” I replied, “and the Lord’s Prayer, ‘Our Father’ is above and dearer than any prayers written by Christians; for it is expressed by our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and this very good interpretation is mostly directed toward the activity of Christian believers, while I had to read in the holy fathers and the mystical explanation of this prayer.”In which of these books did you read this? For example, in Maximus the Confessor, and in the “The Way of the Good Man” by Peter Damascene. Please, do you remember anything, tell us! Please. The beginning of the prayer: “Our Father in heaven” (in the book) is interpreted as requiring us to nourish brotherly love for our neighbors, as children of a single father. This is very fair, but the holy Fathers interpret this even more profoundly, they say that in this expression we must raise our mind to heaven, to the heavenly Father, and recall our obligation to constantly present ourselves in the presence of God and to walk before God. The words “Let your name be hallowed” (the book) explains that we should not pronounce the name of God without reverence, or in an unjust oath, in other words, that the holy name of God should be pronounced sacramentally and not be used in vain; and mysterious interpreters see here a direct request for inner heart prayer, that is, for the holiest name of God to be engraved on the inside of our hearts and to be sanctified and purified by self-prayer. The words “Let your kingdom come” (mysterious interpreters) explain that they should come into our hearts, bringing inner peace and spiritual joy. The book explains that the words “Give us this day our daily bread” refer to our request for the necessities of life, not only those that are necessary for the body, but also those that help our neighbors sufficiently. And Maximus the Confessor, under the name of “daily bread,” understands the spiritual nourishment of the soul with heavenly bread, that is, with the Word of God, and the union of the soul with God through meditation and continuous inner prayer of the heart.Oh! what a great matter it is, and almost impossible for the world’s inhabitants to attain to interior prayer, exclaimed the lord; although even exterior prayer, with God’s help, is easier to perform. Do not think so, father. If it were impossible and extremely difficult, God would not have commanded it to everyone. His power is in weakness; and the learned holy fathers offer ways that make it easier to attain to interior prayer. Naturally, for the hermits of the world, they prescribe special and higher measures, but for the laity they also prescribe convenient and guiding means to attain interior prayer. I have never found anything on this subject written in great detail, said the lord. Please, please, I will read you from the book The Wonder of the Love of God. I brought my Wonder of God with me, found the article by Peter Damascene in part 3, on sheet 48, and began to read as follows: “One must learn to call upon the name of God more than to breathe, at all times and in all places and in work. The apostle says: ‘Pray without ceasing’, that is, he teaches that what you do, you must have the Creator of all things in mind; you have a reason for remembering and glorifying God, and so you are always praying, and your soul will always rejoice”. Here, please, observe how this method of continuous prayer is convenient, easy and accessible to everyone who has even the slightest human feelings.
After that, their ministers retired, and the three of us remained in the room. The lady brought me a white shirt and stockings – I bowed and said: I will not take my mother’s stockings, I have never sewn them, we have always walked in their comforts. She ran again and brought her old jacket, made of thin yellow cloth, and cut it into two pieces, and the master, saying: This poor man’s clothes are almost ruined, brought new boots, large ones that he wears on top of boots, and then said to me: Go into that room. I went, changed, and came out again to them. They sat me down and began to put on shoes, the master began to wrap his legs with the stockings, and the lady began to put on the boots. At first I did not agree, but they ordered me to sit and said: Sit and keep silent, Christ washed the feet of his disciples. I had nothing to do, and I began to cry, and they cried too.
The story of conversion and the life of the landowner
Forgive me, dear brother, I asked you not out of mere curiosity, but out of kindness and Christian fellowship towards you, and also because two years ago, I saw an example that gave rise to my question to you. You see, a beggar came to us with a soldier’s retirement passport, an old man, so poor that he was almost naked and barefoot, he spoke little and simply, like a steppe peasant. We took him in to the poorest hut; after a few days he became very ill, so we moved him to this gazebo, comforted him, and started to take care of him with my wife. Finally, he was probably nearing his death; we prepared him, called in our priest to confess him, anoint him and prepare him for Holy Communion. The day before his death, he stood up, asked me for paper and a pen, asked me to lock the door and not let anyone in until he had written a will for his son, who had asked to be sent to St. Petersburg to the address he had given. I was surprised to see how he wrote not only with a beautiful, highly literate handwriting, but also his work was excellent, correct and very gentle. That is why, tomorrow, I will read you his will; I have a copy of it.
Being in such a painful state, I realized my transgressions, repented, confessed, freed all those who served me, vowed to repent of my misdeeds the rest of my life and to hide in the appearance of penance, so that for my transgressions I might be the last servant of people of the lowest class. Once I had decided firmly upon this, my visions that had been troubling me immediately ceased. I experienced such joy and pleasure from being reconciled to God that I cannot fully describe it. That is when I also learned firsthand what paradise is like and how the kingdom of God unfolds within our hearts. Before long, I recovered, fulfilled my intentions, and with a dismissed soldier’s passport, discreetly departed: from my homeland. And it has been 15 years since I have been wandering across Siberia. Sometimes I would take a job with peasants in hard labor, other times I would support myself by God’s name. O! With all these hardships, I experienced such bliss, happiness, and peace of conscience! Only one who has been miraculously saved from hell by the mercy of the Mediator can truly experience this. Having told you this, he handed me his will to be sent to his son, and he died the very next day. And here, the list of his will is in my bag, laid within my Bible. If you wish to read it, I will fetch it right now. Please be so kind as to listen!
I opened it and read: “In the Name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Exalted in the Trinity.”
My Dear Son,
It has been 15 years since you have not seen your father, but he is in obscurity, now and then informing you about his situation, and has nurtured fatherly love for you, which encourages me to send these last words to you, so that they may serve as a lesson in life for you.
You know how I suffered from my carelessness and careless life; but you do not know how I enjoyed bliss in the obscurity of my wanderings, enjoying the fruits of repentance.
I am dying peacefully in the arms of my good and dear benefactor, because the good deeds done to the father are to be passed on to the understanding son. Give him my thanks as much as you can.
Leaving you my parental blessing, I beseech you to remember God, keep your conscience, be careful, kind, and prudent, treat your subordinates as favorably and kindly as you can, and do not despise beggars and strangers, remembering that even the dying father was in misery and weariness in his spirit and tormented himself.
Invoking the grace of God upon you, I calmly shut my eyes, hoping for eternal life, in the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Your father.
Father and I were there, talking. I asked my father, “Dear sir, are you not troubled and disturbed by these odd people? As I have seen, many of our traveling brethren wander aimlessly or lie around the business, and spend the night on the road. There have been few such cases, but more and more real travelers have been caught. We are more hospitable and keep such vagabonds living with us. They often change, become humble and gentle people, living among our good beggars, the brothers of Christ. Recently there was an example of this. A local townswoman became so outraged that everyone drove her out with sticks, and no one even gave her a piece of bread. She was starving, angry, and a thief. In this state, she came to us, begging for bread and wine, to which she was an extraordinarily good hunter. We welcomed her kindly, saying, “Live with us, we will give you as much wine as you want, but only on the condition that you go to sleep as soon as you are drunk, if you fight even a little, we will not only punish you and never accept you, but I will even treat you as a smuggler or a shepherd. Having agreed to this, she stayed with us. For a week or more, she really drank a lot, as much as she wanted; but always, according to her promise and out of affection for the wine (so as not to lose it), she went to bed, or went out into the garden, lay there and was silent. When she had sobered up, the beggar brothers persuaded her and gave her advice to hold back, although at first it was a little. Thus, she gradually began to drink less and, after three months, became a restrained person and is now somewhere in employment, and no longer eats the bread of a stranger. On the third day, he came to me thanking me. What wisdom has been demonstrated by the guidance of love! I thought to myself and exclaimed, “Blessed be God, who shows his love in the protection of his fence!”
After these conversations, Father and I, having stood up for an hour or an hour and a half, heard morning prayers until dawn, gathered and went, and just as soon as we entered the church, the mistress was already there with her children. We celebrated the morning; and shortly afterward, the divine Liturgy began. Father and I, and one little boy, stood at the altar, and the mistress, along with the little girl, stood near the altar window, to see the offering of the sacred gifts. My God! How they were praying over one another and weeping with joy! What bright faces they became, so I could not help but cry at them.
After the Lord’s service, the priest, the servants, and all the beggars went together to the dinner table, and there were as many as forty beggars; there were the lame, the sick, and boys. They all sat down at the table. What a silence and silence it was! I, having taken courage, said gently to the gentleman: “In the monasteries, lives of saints are read during the meal; why not have one also for you, and you have a number of acquaintances. The gentleman, turning to the lady, said: “Indeed, Masha, let’s introduce such an order. This would be ridiculous. In the first meal I will read, then you, and then the priest, and later the brothers, in rotation, whoever knows how. The priest, while eating, began to say: “I like to listen, but a humble servant cannot read; once you return home, you do not know how to exercise all the chores and worries; and this is necessary, and that is necessary; there are many boys, and the cattle have enough, all day long in the bustle, not to read or teach. Hearing this, I shuddered, and the lady, sitting beside me, shook me by the hand and began to speak: “The priest is speaking for his humility; he always humiliates himself, and he is the kindest and most godly life; he has been a widower for 20 years and brings up an entire family of grandchildren, and besides, he often serves.
I felt a prayerful hunger, there was a great need for prayerful outpourings, and for a day or two I had no need for seclusion and silence. I felt in my heart like a flood that wanted to break through and pour out into all the limbs, but as I held it back, there was a strong pain in my heart—an encouraging one that required silent reassurance and nourishment with prayer. Here I discovered why true creators of prayer, who acted on their own, fled from people and hid themselves in obscurity, and I understood why St. Isaac the Syriac and even a spiritual and useful conversation, but one that was unfounded, called it chatter, as St. Ephrem the Syrian says: good speech is silver, and silence is pure gold. Reflecting on all this, I went to the poor man; everyone was resting there after lunch. I climbed onto the attic, relaxed, rested, and prayed. When the beggars got up, I found the blind man and took him out into the garden; we sat there alone and began to talk.
After reading this, I began to think that it was very convenient for me, and I began to make a prayer silently by mumbling under my sewing work, and I liked it. Those who lived with me in the house noticed this and began to laugh at me; are you a sorcerer who is constantly murmuring or reciting something? I stopped moving my lips to conceal this, and began to recite the prayer in a single language. In the end, I became so used to praying that the language itself uttered the prayer day and night, and I enjoyed it.
We went with the blind man, and we walked slowly and gradually, moving ten to twelve miles a day, and otherwise we spent the rest of the time in separate places, reading The Goodness of Loving. I read everything to him about heart prayer according to the order indicated by the late Elder, that is, beginning with the book Nikyfor of a monk Gregorios Sinaitis, and so on. With what a great eagerness and attention he listened to everything and how much he enjoyed it! Then he began to ask me questions about prayer which my mind could not answer.
The blind one, having listened to all this with respect, began to act as instructed, and at night, when we stopped for the night, he mostly worked on this for a long time. After days, he began to feel a strong heat and an indescribable pleasure in his heart, and he also had a great desire to constantly practice this prayer, which opened his love for Jesus Christ. Sometimes he began to see light, though he did not perceive any objects or things in it; at times it seemed to him, when he entered the heart, as if a strong flame from a burning candle burned sweetly inside the heart and, bursting out through the throat, illuminated it. And with this flame he could even see distant things, as happened once. And I said to him: Love Jesus Christ, and give thanks; but beware of accepting various visions as immediate revelations of grace; for this often happens, and is, of course, in order of things. The soul is relatively not tied to place and matter. It can see in darkness and very far away, as if what is happening near is taking place. Only we do not give power and direction to this spiritual ability, and we repress it either by the inertia of our body or by the confusion of our thoughts and scattered thoughts. And when we concentrate on ourselves, distract ourselves from all that surrounds us, and become refined in the mind, then the soul enters into its proper function and acts to the fullest extent, this is a natural matter. I heard from my deceased elder that those with spiritual lives are like those who are able to do so and who are afflicted, in a darkened room they see light as it comes out of all things, they distinguish objects, feel their double, and penetrate into the thoughts of others. And what comes from the heart directly from the grace of God, is so enjoyable that no language can speak, and no material thing can be used for, and nothing can be likened to it; all sensory is low in comparison with the sweet sensations of grace in the heart. My blind servant listened to this with diligence, and became even more humble; his prayer in the heart developed more and more, and he was more and more satisfied. I rejoiced in my heart, and thanked God for giving me the privilege of seeing such a blessed servant of His.
Finally, we reached Tobolsk, I took him to a boarding house, left there, and, after parting with love, went on further and further.
For a month I walked slowly and deepened the conviction of how instructive and encouraging good living examples are; often I read The Good Life and believed everything I had told the blind prayer-maker. His instructive example kindled in me jealousy, gratitude, and love of the Lord, the prayer of the heart delighted me so much that I did not think that anyone on earth could be happier than I, and I wondered what could be a greater and better joy in the kingdom of heaven. Not only did I feel all this within my own soul, but everything outside also seemed to me in beautiful form, and everything tended towards love and gratitude to God; people, trees, plants, animals, everything was dear to me, everywhere I saw the image of the name of Jesus Christ. Sometimes I felt such ease, as if I had no body, and did not walk, but as if I were happily floating in the air; sometimes I went all the way into myself and clearly saw all my fellow-travellers, marvelling at the wise composition of the human body; sometimes I felt such joy, as if I were made a king, and for all such delights I wished God would give me to die soon and pour out thanks at the foot of His throne in the world of spirits.
Trial in the road and the story of the old soldier
It seemed that I was enjoying these sensations excessively, whether it was according to God’s will, or not – but after a while I felt some kind of trepidation and fear. If it wasn’t for me, I thought, who would get into trouble or trouble again, just like with that girl I had taught about Jesus prayer in the chapel. Thoughts came flooding to me and I remembered the words of Saint John of Karpasiai, who said that he who often teaches is given into exile and experiences trials and temptations for those whom he has spiritually benefited. Overcoming these thoughts, I intensified my prayer which completely drove them away, and I became encouraged and said to myself: ”God’s will be done! I am ready to endure anything that Jesus Christ does not send me because of my sinfulness and pride.” And those whom I had recently opened the secret of the inner door and of inner prayer to, were also directly prepared for the meeting by God’s secret teaching. Having thus become calmer, I again went away with joy and prayer, and I rejoiced as before. The days were rainy, and the road was so muddy that it was difficult to pull my feet out of the dirt – I walked through the steppe, and there were no villages for miles; finally, in the afternoon, I saw a small yard near the road, rejoiced, and thought: “Here I will ask to rest and spend the night, and in the morning, if God gives it, the weather may be better.”I sat down, thought that she would not calm down soon, and said to her: “Where should I sleep, mother? I am tired from the journey.” I offered her a bed, and, putting a bench next to the front window, I made a bed and put on a bed sheet. I lay down and closed my eyes, as if I was asleep. The cook still fussed for a long time; finally, she got up, put out the fire, and came to me. Suddenly, the whole window, with its frame, panes, and pieces of the door frame, shatters to the ground with a terrible crash, the whole house shook, and a painful groan, cry, and noise could be heard outside the window. Grandma jumped in fear in the middle of the room and fell on the floor. I jumped up, without remembering anything, thinking that the earth had opened beneath me. I saw two yamkarsha fellows bringing a man into the house, all in blood, so his face was not visible. This only frightened me even more. It was a Feldherr, who had jumped his horse to change horses. The yamkarsha did not manage to turn properly at the gate, and he slammed the window, and as there was a ditch in front of the house, his carriage overturned, and the Feldherr, falling, hit his head on a sharp stinger, which was fixed to the hatch. The Feldherr asked for water and wine to wash the wound, smeared it with wine, and drank a glass himself, then cried: “horses!” I stood by him, saying: “How are you, father, with such pain on your journey?” “I used to be sick,” he replied, “and I went back.” The yamkashsa carried Grandma to the furnace in a corner without feeling anything, covered her with a blanket, saying: “this is a dream she had out of fear; she will recover.” And the guard drank and went back to sleep again. I was left alone.
Six years after this incident, as I was passing by one of the women’s monasteries, I entered the church to pray. The abbess, a strange woman, took me to her after lunch and ordered tea to be served. Suddenly, unexpected guests arrived, and she went to them, leaving me with the nuns in the cell. The humble nun who was serving the tea broke my curiosity by asking: “Have you lived in this monastery for many years, mother?” “Nineteen years,” she replied, “I was brought here in a fit of madness, and God has been merciful here to me.” The abbess left me in the cell and made me a novice. “Why did you go crazy?” I asked. “It was from fright,” she replied. “I was on such a kind of station and, at night, during my sleep, the horses broke the window, and, frightened, I went mad. I was carried around by my relatives for a whole year, and I have only now been cured here.” Upon hearing this, I rejoiced in my heart and praised God, ever mindful of the needs of the one who builds.”
&Nbsp The priest invited me to his house for lunch. At the table I said to him: How sanctimoniously and diligently you serve! Well, he replied, although the parishioners don’t like it and complain, but there is nothing to be done; because I love every prayerful word before I think it through and enjoy it, and then I speak it out loudly, while without inner feeling and compassion, every word spoken will be useless for both myself and others; it is all in inner life and prayer! And how little, he said, we engage in inner work! This is because we do not want to pay attention to spiritual, inner education, the priest said. I asked again: how can we achieve it? It seems very difficult. There is a lot to do to enlighten oneself spiritually and be an attentive and inner person. You should take one text from the Holy Scriptures and give it your undivided attention and meditation as long as possible, and the light of understanding will open up. You should also do this in prayer: if you want it to be pure, correct and satisfying, then you should choose a short prayer consisting of few words, but strong, and repeat it many times and for a long time, and then you will experience the taste of prayer. I was very pleased with the priest’s teaching, as it is effective and simple, yet deep and wise! I mentally thanked God for showing me such a true shepherd of His church.
I was a young and beautiful girl; my parents arranged my marriage and, in order to have a wedding tomorrow, the groom came to us and, having taken not ten steps, fell and died, without ever taking a breath! I was so frightened by this that I completely refused to marry and decided to live in virginity and go to holy places to pray to God. However, one woman was afraid to go on the road, as if, in my youth, evil people would reproach me. An old woman-old one taught me that, wherever I go along the road, I should continually pray the Jesus prayer, and she firmly assured me that, with this prayer, no misfortune could happen on the road. I believed this and, indeed, I went along safely, even to distant holy places; my parents gave me money for this.
In old age, I became ill and here, with His mercy, this priest keeps me and feeds me.
With joy, listening to all this, I did not know how to thank God for this day, which opened to me such instructive examples. Then, after asking the blessing of a good and pious priest, I went on my way rejoicing.
The story of the conversion of an old Kazan official
Not long ago, as I was walking through the Kazan Province, I had an opportunity to learn how the power of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ is clearly and vividly manifested in unknowingly engaged in it, and how the frequency and duration of prayer is a faithful and the shortest way to good. I had to stay overnight in a Tatar village. I entered it and saw a cart and a Russian driver standing near the cart. The horses were feeding beside the cart. Excited by this, I intended to ask for lodging immediately, thinking that at least I was staying with Christians. Approaching the driver, I asked who was driving, and he replied that the gentleman was passing through from Kazan to the Crimea. While we were talking with the driver, the gentleman, pulling back the curtain, looked out of the cart and said: I am staying here too, but I did not go into the house, because it is very bad in the Tatars, and I decided to stay the night in the cart. Then the gentleman went for a walk, it was a good evening, and we talked.
Among many inquiries, he also told me the following about himself: until the age of 65, I served in the fleet as a captain of the first rank; in old age, an incurable disease fell on me – gout, and I, having retired, lived on a farm in the Crimea with my wife, who was almost constantly ill. My wife was a strange, dissipated character, and a great gambler. She became bored with living with me, the sick, and she left me, taking my children with her, and went to Kazan to our daughter, who was dispatched there as a clerk on the occasion. She harassed me all around, even taking my household people with her, and leaving only an eight-year-old boy, my godson with me.
Well, I lived alone for about three years. The boy who served me had quick wits and did all my household chores, cleaned the room, stoked the stove, cooked my porridge, poured tea into the samovar. Yet he was extremely lively and restless, constantly running around, knocking, shouting, making mischief, and he really bothered me; and I, due to my illness and boredom, always liked to read spiritual books. I had a wonderful book by Gregory Palami about the Jesus Prayer: I almost constantly read it, and I did the prayer as well. My boy disturbed me, and no threats or punishments could keep him from his pranks. That’s how I came up with this means: I began to put him in a room on a bench, ordering him to keep on saying the Jesus Prayer. At first, he didn’t like it at all and tried to avoid it as much as possible and often stuttered.After this, I began to tell the father: “The book by the Monk Gregory Palamas, which you wanted to read, I know. But there is more talk in it about the unspoken Jesus Prayer, while read the book entitled Dobrotolubie. In it you will find a complete and perfect teaching on how to attain spiritual Jesus Prayer in the mind and heart and taste the sweetest fruit of it. At the same time, I showed him my Dobrotolubie. He, I noticed, was delighted to accept my advice and promised to obtain such a book.”
After I ended my talk, I said to my spiritual father: Forgive me, for God’s sake, I have spoken too much, and the holy fathers call a conversation, even if spiritual, but excessive, frivolous. I have to go and visit my companion from Jerusalem. Pray for me, poor sinner, so that the Lord, by His great mercy, may lead me on the right path.
I wish you all the best, dear brother in Christ, he replied, and the grace of God that shines upon you and accompanies you as the angel Raphael accompanied you!
Three Keys to the Inner Prayer Treasure
Found in the Spiritual Treasures of the Holy Fathers
In my heart the word is kept (Psalm 119, 11).
Thirsting for its own sake, reason besets itself with every cunning to drag itself down (The Old Age of Life, ch. 19).
If everyone has their own particular properties, inclinations and abilities, then the achievement of the same goal takes place in different directions, in different ways, guided by it. And the achievement of the goal of inner prayer activities takes place through many paths, as we read in the observations of the Holy Fathers.
One of these methods is common for success in prayer as well as for success in the Christian life, in a way: unconditional obedience, as Simeon the Theologian says; the works of charity and asceticism, as the Church sings in its hymns: the deed was found by you, divinely inspired, in visions of the East (Troparion of the Divine Liturgy); an external prayer for an internal prayer: Lord, teach us to pray; special gracious influences, such as: Capso Calivita once touched the icon of the Mother of God, after two years of prayer to her, suddenly felt sweetness and warmth in her heart; the young George, in a simple prayer, suddenly saw an inner light and took up the pneumatic prayer, etc.
If quantity leads to quality, frequent—and almost continuous—invocation of the name of Jesus Christ, though at first dispersed, can lead to attention and warmth of heart; since the human nature is able to acquire a familiar attitude by frequent use and habit. To learn to do something well, one must do it much more frequently, as one spiritual writer has said; and Saint Isaac says that frequency engenders habit and turns to the nature (chap. 7). This, as experience of experienced men shows, is the case with regard to interior prayer, as follows: one who desires to attain interior prayer resolves to frequently, almost continuously call on the divine name, that is, to say out loud the Lord’s Prayer: “O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Sometimes this prayer is shortened, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.” Saint Gregory of Sinai adds that the shortened prayer is easier for beginners; however, he does not deny either the one or the other, but only advises not to change the verbs frequently, so that it is easier to get used to it. And in order to be even more encouraged to continually form a prayer, the disciple considers it a rule to look at the time when he knows how many times he should address the name of God, that is, to say hundreds or thousands of prayers with a pen in a day and a night, not hurriedly, but making a careful way with his tongue and lips. After a while, the lips and the mouth of the practiced become so accustomed that they move spontaneously, with the name of God as their own, even without a voice. Then the mind will begin to listen to this action of the tongue and gradually clear itself of distraction, coming to the attention to prayer. Finally, the weakness of the mind in the heart may be imitated, as the Fathers express it, that is, the mind, having turned into the heart, will warm it with the warmth of divine love, and it will be the heart itself that will move freely, with indescribable joy, calling on the name of Jesus Christ and pouring itself forth with the petition “My heart watches.” Saint Isaac has wonderfully expressed the fruitfulness of the frequent intelligent invocation of the name of Jesus Christ: As the rain that falls on the earth increases, it also rejuvenates the earth. In the same way, the name of Jesus Christ, when it is called frequently by us, joyfully creates and delights the earth of our heart.
Although this method is sufficient, based on the experiences and observations made by the holy fathers, to guide us conveniently to the desired goal of interior prayer, there are also higher methods, to some extent: attention and introduction of the mind into the heart. This first method belongs mainly to those who have not yet been accustomed to paying attention, nor are they able to work successfully on the heart, or it can be an introduction and presumption of the following methods. However, depending on the differences in properties and abilities, each person chooses the one that is most convenient, as Nikon, the hermit, says.
Second Key: Attention of the Mind in the Heart
Attention is the observance (observation) of the mind, as Niketas the Monk puts it, or attention is the concentration of the mind on itself and a deepenment of it in a particular subject, leaving aside all other thoughts and images. As it is necessary when engaged in prayer, this is assured by the holy Callist and Ignatius, quoting the words of St. Nilus (The Tale of the Good Mind, 2, chapter 24): “Emptiness that seeks prayer will surely attract it. For prayer mimics many things more than anything else, and it is advisable to hold thoughts and desires concerning it (The Tale of the Good Mind, 2, 24).” A similar teaching is given by Saint Isychios: “Pay close attention to your thoughts; they will eagerly pray to Jesus” (Chapter 90); and again: “The atmosphere of heartfelt joy and silence is filled with the utmost attention” (Chapter 91), which “is as essential to prayer as a lamp to the light of a lamp” (Chapter 102).”
Further, Nicholas the Monk, in explaining the teaching on inner prayer, finally concludes that if it is not convenient, according to the model he has set, to enter into the heart, it is necessary to use all kinds of attention in prayer, which, without any doubt, will open the heart’s entrance and develop inner prayer, as confirmed by the Holy Scriptures in this truth that, without attention, it is impossible to unite with God, saying: “Cease, understand that I am God” (St. Isaiah 46:10).
Therefore, anyone who wants to achieve inner prayer with the help of attention must keep himself isolated as much as possible, avoid conversation with people, not make his prayer too hasty and sudden, but do it with a certain arrangement, deepening the mind in prayer words in such a way as when attentively reading a book, calling while sometimes interfering, and praying for his intercession, whom he asks. Sometimes, having composed one prayer, he pauses for a while, as if waiting for God’s response, tries to keep his attention, even when it is distracted, and always remembers that he has undertaken to be in constant prayer attention, while purifying his mind from thoughts.
Third Key: Restful Breathing and a Rhythm
The third key is the entry into oneself, or the heart. Without going into detail, we present the fathers’ vision and teaching on self-penetration and the entry into the heart, according to the methods tested by them as faithful guides to true spiritual inner prayer. The fathers’ instructions on this subject are presented below with their own words, divided for convenience into three rows and placed in the following order:
The first row consists of their Fathers who have left us full instructions on the Lord’s Prayer, as follows: 1) Symeon the New Theologian (nn. 64-65), the Holy Monk, 2) Gregory Sinaites, 3) Nicholas the Monk, and 4) Callist and Ignatius of Xanthopulun, the monastics.
The second row is the Fathers who have left us brief expressions on inner prayer, such as:
1) Hierotheus the Elder, 2) Philotheus of Sinai, 3) Feolypys Metropolitan, and 4) Varsanofy and John.
We will put in third place a saving story about Abba Filimon. He brings the whole path of asceticism to light.
Fathers’ instructions on inner heart prayer
The first group of instructions
1) Instructions of St. Symeon the New Theologian
Saint Symeon the New Theologian explains the way of entering the heart in the illustration of the third form of prayer, in the 68th word (page 163, in the Russian translation of volume II):
The third form of prayer is truly remarkable and incomparable, and for those who do not know it empirically, it is not only cumbersome, but even seems incredible. Indeed, in our time, this form of prayer is encountered by few, while their approaches and cunning are destroyed by the demons, to distract the mind to many and varied thoughts. For then the mind, being free of all, has a good opportunity, without any hindrance, to investigate the thoughts imposed by demons, and with great ease to drive them away and bring pure prayer to God with a pure heart.
After describing the conditions for success in this form of prayer, namely: perfect obedience, and keeping conscience clean, and in relation to God, and in relation to people, and in relation to things, and to do everything as if you were before God, he continues:
Acting thus, you will align yourself on the true and unerring path to the third form of prayer, which is as follows: Let reason keep the heart while it prays, and let it turn within without ceasing, and from the depths of the heart let it send prayers to God. This is all there is to it: work like this until you taste God. When, at last, reason is there, within the heart, and the heart senses that God is good, it will no longer want to move away from that place within; then it will say, like St. Peter: “It is good for us to be here, and we will always look within the heart and turn within without ceasing, driving away all the thoughts that are engendered by the devil.”
There are three things to observe: first, to take care of everything, even the blessed, and not just the unblessed and trivial, or else to be indifferent to everything, to have a clear conscience in everything, so that it does not reveal you in any way, and to have perfect impartiality, so that your mind does not wander to anything. Then sit in a special silent place alone, shut the doors, turn your mind away from all temporal and trivial things, bend your head and face to your chest, and thus be attentive inside yourself (not in your head, but in your heart), drawing your mind and your sensual eyes there and watching. Having your mind there, trying to find it everywhere, if you find it, then your mind is already fully present. At first you will find a darkness there, and a hardness; but then, if you continue this mental activity day and night, you will gain an uninterrupted joy. The mind, by practicing this, will fall into the place of the heart, and then it will immediately see things inside that it has never seen or known before. From that moment, from whichever side any thought arises and appears, before it enters inside and thinks, or imagines, the mind immediately chases it away and destroys it with the name of Jesus, that is, the Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. From that moment, the mind will begin to have wrath on demons, to drive them away and destroy them. What else usually follows from this work of worship, you will learn with God’s help by maintaining attention and keeping Jesus, that is, his prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!
2) Instructions of Saint Grigory the Sinaite
Saint Grigory the Sinaite expounds the teaching about the inner meditation in the heart and the method of acquiring it in three of his articles on silence and prayer, found in Dobrotolubiya Volume 1, pp. 112-119. Here is an abbreviated excerpt from them:
We should speak with the Lord in a pure heart with an inner prayer like the cherubim; but we, not understanding the greatness, honor and glory of the grace of regeneration, and not caring to grow spiritually through the fulfillment of the commandments, and clinging to the state of rational contemplation, resort to negligence, thereby falling into lustful habits and sinking into a mire of numbness and obscurity. It so happens that we even vaguely remember whether there is a God and what we should be like, as children of God by grace, we do not know about that at all. We believe, but with an inactive faith, and after regeneration by the Spirit at baptism, we do not cease to live carnal. If we sometimes begin to fulfill the commandments after repentance, we do it only externally, not spiritually, and then we deviate from spiritual life, that its manifestations in others seem to us to be injustices and mistakes. Thus, until our death, we remain spiritually dead, living and acting not for Christ, and not corresponding to that definition that a person born from the Spirit must be spiritual.
However, the faith we accepted in holy baptism for Christ Jesus is not extinguished, but only buried, like a treasure in the ground. And prudence and gratitude demand that we take care to uncover it and bring it to light. How is this done? There are two ways: first, this gift is revealed by the patient performance of the commandments, so that the more we carry out the commandments, the more fully the gift shows its splendor and brilliance; secondly, it comes to light and is revealed by the constant invocation of the Lord Jesus, or, as the same thing goes, by constant remembrance of God. The first method is powerful; but the second is more powerful, so that the first also receives all its strength from it. Therefore, if we truly desire to open the hidden seed of grace within us, we must hurry to get used to this latter spiritual exercise and have this one thing of prayer as an occupation in our hearts, not perfunctorily, but incessantly, until it warms our hearts and inflames them with an indescribable love for the Lord.
If, in this work, a man becomes weary and his body and heart become ill from regular prayer, then get up and sing, or meditate on some Bible passage, or think about death, or read, or do needlework, or something else.
When you take up this task of prayer, it is appropriate for you to read only books that deal with the inner life, sobriety, and prayer, namely, the Ladder of Hesychasm, the words of Isaac the Syrian, the ascetic writings of Maximus the Confessor, St. Symeon the New Theologian, Ezechiel, and other such books. Leave the other types of literature for a later time, not because they are bad, but because it is inappropriate for you to deal with them while you are in a proper state of mind and disposition: they may distract your mind from prayer. Read not much, but with depth and understanding.
Nor should you leave the prayer book. Some keep a very strict prayer schedule; others leave the prayer book altogether, and pray to the Lord with one wise prayer. You should choose the middle ground: do not keep many prayers, because this leads to distractions, but also do not leave them, in case you become weak and relaxed. If you see that prayer works in you and does not stop moving your heart, do not leave it, nor do you take up a prayer book. This would mean to abandon God within you, to go out and extend a conversation to Him from the outside. For those who have not yet experienced the action of prayer, they should pray a lot, and even excessively, in order to be constantly in this active and diverse prayer, until this painful work of prayer warms their hearts and the action of prayer begins within them. He who has finally tasted this grace should pray with moderation, and spend more time in reasonable prayer, as the fathers instructed. In the event of inner relaxation, one should either pray or read the writings of the fathers. Violent exercises are superfluous when the wind blows the sails: they are needed when the wind dies down and the boat stops.
A great tool against one’s enemies is he who in prayer keeps a broken cry, so as not to lapse into arrogance from the lusts that are granted by the Jesus prayer. He who preserves this joyful sum will avoid all harm. True inner prayer is that in which the fervor, arising from the Jesus prayer, casts fire into the heart of the earth and kindles passions like tinder. It illuminates the soul with joys and pleasures, and comes not from the clear or bright land beyond, nor even from above, but bursts forth from the heart, like a spring of water, from the Life-giving Spirit. Cherish this one and return to win it in your heart, keeping your mind always clear and sober. Do not fear anything with it; for He Who said, “Rejoice, do not fear, I am with you,” is with us.
Справжня моя молитва є та, в якій благодать, проходячи з молитви Ісусової, розпускає вогонь у землю серця і запалює пристрасті, як терня. Вона веселощами і світом осіняє душу, і приходить не від ясного чи шуого краю, ні навіть згори, а вирушає з серця, як джерело води, від життєдайного Духа. Цю одне полюби і вглянься здобути у серці твоєм, зберігаючи розум повік не у мрійливості. З нею не бояться нічого; бо той, хто сказав: смійтеся, не бійтеся, вдвох радієм; наймий, той, хто молится. Дуплою й тілесним, тридцятипалою і душевною, та колись тримати швидше, а коли пожити простоюше, прийми, що Ти мене учив.
Nicholas the Monk expounds the teaching of entering into the heart in his article on sobriety and the safeguarding of the heart (The Philokalia, Part 2, p. 36-43).
You who desire to receive the fire of the heavenly heart in your feelings, and to know it by experience, come closer, and I will tell you the science of heavenly life, or better still the art that introduces the artisan of it into a sanctuary of impartiality without effort or toil. Through our fall we have gone astray; return to our own selves, turning away from the external. Reconciliation with God and kinship with Him is impossible for us unless we return to ourselves and enter within. Only an inner life is truly Christian. This is the testimony of all the Fathers.
Thus one brother asked Avva Agathon, “Which is more important, physical labor or the safeguarding of the heart?” The elder replied, “Man is like a tree; physical labor is like the leaves, while the safeguarding of the heart is like the fruit. Yet, since according to the Scriptures, every tree that does not bear good fruit is to be cut down and burned, it is clear that you must place all of your care on the fruit, that is, on the safeguarding of the heart. Nevertheless, of course, we also need the leafy garments, that is, physical labor.”
St. John Climacus says, “Lock the doors of your cell for the body, the doors of your mouth for the tongue, and the inner doors for evil spirits. When you are seated on lofty ground (that is, when you consolidate your mind on your heart), observe, if you are skilled, which and in what number are the servants of the Father who go to the vineyard of your heart and prune the branches. After spending a while, the overseer (that is, the observer of the heart) rises to pray, and then again goes back to the same work (that is, the concentration of the mind on the heart).”
St. Macarius the Great teaches: “The principal business of the ascetic is to enter into his heart, to make an assault upon it against Satan, and to resist his thoughts, to struggle against him.”
St. Isaac the Syrian says, “Make entry into your internal treasury, and you will find the treasure of Heaven hidden within you, that is, in your heart. And by washing yourself from sin, enter into your heart, and you will rise to the steps of the heavenly heights.”
Here is an admonition by Carpocrates: much effort and struggle is needed in prayers to find a state of contemplate thoughts, that is, this is the inner heaven of the heart, where Christ lives as the Apostle says: “Do you not know that Christ lives in you?”
Here are the words of St. Simeon the New Theologian: “Since the moment when man was expelled from Paradise and turned away from God, the devil and the demons have had freedom day and night to manipulate the imaginary power of each man. To protect yourself from this power, it is possible only through constant remembrance of God. Whoever is affected by the remembrance of God can restrain his wandering and his reasoning powers.” All the Holy Fathers teach this. For the most part, people acquire it from others through learning. Very rarely do people receive it directly from God for the sake of their faith, and receive it with warmth. Therefore, we must seek an instructor who knows the business. If there is no such instructor, then by invoking God’s help for the heart’s repentance and tears, we must do what I tell you.
Our first desire and the beauty of our heart is to consider our body in the life of God. With this aspiration, we are already concerned for its proper fitness and regularity of life. Beautiful is the view of the soul, which is adorned by these same cravings. Nothing goes so well with man’s soul as these shepherd’s tasks. They represent his highest desires. Thanks be to God, through patience and penance, we can reach these undiscovered heavens, and attain the vision of the beatitude that is in these pursuits. And we can obtain our spiritual rest, which is the most great and supreme among all attainable. Got a problem? The most difficult thing to do is also to acquire peace and happiness. I am going to give you a few tips that will help you achieve this, because they are the most important that I can give you.
4) Advice of Canon Calist and Igratius Xantopulus
Canon Calist and Igratius Xantopulus present their lessons on the inner disciplining of the heart in a total of one hundred chapters contained in the Dobrotolübii (part 2, pp. 56-131). Here is the main one for us:
The beginning of life according to God is zeal and every diligent effort to live by the saving commandments of Christ; the end is the accomplishment of that which has been revealed in us by divine grace at baptism, or that which is the same, to discard the old man with his deeds and lusts, and put on the new man, of God, as the divine Paul says: Let it be once more a child, so that it is sicken until Christ appears in you,.
When we are baptized, St. Zosimus says, then our soul is brighter than the sun, purified by the Holy Spirit. Like pure silver lying in the sun’s rays, and it is the rays that shine forth; not by its essence, but through illumination by the sun; and so the soul, purifying itself in baptism, receives the rays of the glory of the Spirit, and is itself inwardly glorified. But, alas! this glory, which is ineffable and fearful, only remains with us for one or two days, and then we choke it away by bringing a storm of earthly cares and passionate affairs.
In the divine spouses, that is, in holy Baptism, in the source we receive the full divine grace. If we then hide it under a cloud of earthly cares and passions, we can recover it again and purify it by repentance and the performance of divine commandments, and see its natural light. This is in proportion to everyone’s faith and the fervor of the effort to live by faith, especially with the blessing of the Lord Jesus Christ. St. Mark says: Christ, the perfect God, bestows the fullness of grace upon those who are baptized, the Spirit of God, which requires no program from us; it opens itself to us and acts clearly in proportion to the fulfillment of the commandments, until we reach the fulfillment of Christ in due time.
Therefore, since the essence and root of saving is to live by the Lord’s commandments, and the end and fruit is to restore the perfection of the grace of the Spirit, which we have received through baptism but which is buried in our passions, and which is again revealed through the fulfillment of the Lord’s commandments: it is appropriate that we proclaim this gift. Cleanse it and see it more clearly. The Lord’s Minstrel, John, says that he who keeps the Lord’s commandments is with the Lord. The Lord Himself goes even further, saying: “Whoever keeps My commandments and obeys them, loves Me; and He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will also appear to him and will dwell in him.”
It is not possible for us to fulfill the saving commandments without the Lord Jesus Christ, as He Himself says: “without Me you can do nothing,” and as the Apostle proclaimed that “there is no other salvation.” He is the way, the truth and the life. That is why our venerable masters and teachers, with the living and most holy Spirit in them, preach to us with wisdom that, above all other things, we should pray to the Lord and ask Him for mercy without any doubt, and constantly have His most holy and most sweet name in our hearts, minds and minds. And we should not sleep, walk, eat or drink. For just as in those times when there is no such calling in us, everything evil and destructive pours into us, so in those times when it is in us, everything opposing is banished, nothing good is depleted, and nothing can happen that we could not do if the Lord Himself had said: “Whatever is in Me and I in it, that one will bring to pass”
Therefore, recognizing our own powerlessness and putting all our hope in the Lord, loving the commandments with an eagerness to obey them rather than neglecting any one of them, let us turn all our efforts to the matter of getting used to and becoming firmly established in this constant devotion to the saving name of the Lord, which is destructive to every evil and creating
To make this work easier, the holy fathers have pointed out a particular work, calling it an art and even an art of arts. We offer here to Saint Nickolos the natural art of how to enter within the heart through breathing, which greatly helps to concentrate the mind.
Thus taught all the holy fathers. St. Chrysostom says: I beg you, brethren, never cease to practice this rule of prayer. Elsewhere: it is obligatory for everyone, whether he is eating or drinking, sitting, serving, traveling, or doing anything else, to continuously cry out: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me,” and also: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, going into the depths of the heart, it tames demons.” Stop, then, continuously in prayer to the Lord Jesus, so that the heart may engulf the Lord and the Lord the heart, and these two may become one. And further: do not take away your heart from God, but keep it always remembering our Lord Jesus Christ, until the Name of the Lord is placed within the heart, and do not think of anything but that Christ may be glorified within you. St. Lysiculus says: “May the remembrance of Jesus be joined to your breathing.” And St. Isaac writes: “If you wish to cover your heart with shame and keep it unceasingly pure, let the prayer of the Lord Jesus take root in your breathing, and within a few days you will find your desire fulfilled.”
Let it be well known that if we teach our mind, together with breathing, to descend into the heart, we will also notice that, going there, it becomes one and naked, holding to a single remembrance and invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ; on the contrary, coming out of there and pulling itself to outward objects, it is reluctant to be divided into many images and recollections. To preserve this simplicity and solitude of the mind and it is ordered by the experienced elders in this matter to him who has been zealous to acquire the habit of keeping his mind pure in the heart, to sit in a silent and not bright place, especially at the beginning of this good practice. For the seeing of external objects is naturally the cause of the dispersion of thoughts. But when a silent and dark temple hides from us the outside, the thought ceases to be distracted and is more easily gathered into itself, as St. Basil says: “A mind that is not distracted by the senses to the world turns back to itself.”
Observe carefully that the essence of this practice consists in the one-minded, heartfelt, pure and not broad invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ with faith, and not only in the single drawing of the breath to the heart and sitting in a silent and dark place. All this and the like have been invented by the fathers, not for anything else, but only for the fact that in this they saw some means of gathering thoughts and returning them to themselves from the usual dispersion. From the habit of being gathered and listening to oneself the habit of pure and unparched prayer of the mind in the heart is born.
And know, too, that all such positions of the body are commanded, are determined by detailed rules, and are considered necessary until the pure and unmistakable prayer rises up in the heart. When, by the grace and favor of our Lord Jesus Christ, you have reached this, then, having renounced many and various deeds, you will be more one and joined with the One Lord in a pure and unmixed heart-prayer, requiring no such adjustments.
3) The images of sobriety are: first, to look intently at the imagination, or the example; second, to have a heart that is always deeply silent and silent before every thought; third, to incessantly invoke the help of the Lord Jesus Christ in humility; fourth, to have in one’s heart a constant remembrance of death; fifth, the most effective of all, is to look only toward heaven, accusing it of nothing (chapters 14-18).8) The devil, like a roaring lion, walks around with his legions, calling out who to devour. Let our heart’s attention, sobriety, dealing with thoughts, and prayer to our Lord Jesus Christ, the God of our lives, never cease. For there is no help, besides that of Jesus, to be found for all our life, for he alone is the Lord and God who knows the demons’ tricks, their tactics and deceit (Chapter 39).13) The experienced David, speaking to the Lord, says: “My kingdom will be established in your hands” (Psalm 24:7-8). And it is by the help of the Lord, who gave us commandments, and who banishes from us, when we continually call upon him, the unessential distraction that most often destroys the inner silence from which all virtues proceed, that the preservation of the heart’s spiritual and figurative silence depends; and like water to fire, it destroys the inner silence (chapter 100). Therefore, do not fall asleep through negligence to your advantage, but with the name of Jesus, beat down your enemies; this is the sweetest name, and it will be the breath of your life; and then you will recognize the usefulness of silence (chapter 100).17) How wonderful is the fruit for the mind of the silent one, who in it sins knock at the mind first only with thoughts, so that, if they are accepted by the heart, they will become then coarse sins of the senses, and everything is cut off by the virtue of sobriety in our inner person, which does not allow them to penetrate inside and enter inside and the entrance into the heart of Jesus Christ (chapter 111).21) In the matter of constant sobriety, useful and multiform, we can immediately see dreamlike thoughts forming in the mind. The matter of conversation is to reveal and expose the thought that made an attempt to enter our mind through the perception of some sensual object. That which immediately extinguishes and disperses every intention of opponents, every dream, every idol, and every pillar of malice, is the Lord’s command. And we ourselves see how strongly Jesus, our great God, strikes them, and how He protects us, the humble, the poor, and those who have nothing (chapter 153).
2) Filothea of Sinai
1) To serve holiness is to use the right words, to pursue the right aim with the mind, to put an end to all thoughts of God, as if one were a single marigold or a precious jewel. This will help us to leave everything behind, even our bodies, and to despise earthly life to obtain God alone in our heart (Ch. 1).
2) From morning to night, we should courageously stand at the doors of our heart, with a firm desire for God and with Jesus Christ’s everlasting prayer and thought, slaying all the sinners of the earth with this thought, which is true, persevering and most inviting (Ch. 2).
3) Temperance is rightly called a way, because it leads to the kingdom and to what is within us, and to the future, and it is likened to a clear window through which God draws near to the mind (Ch. 3).
4) Where there is humility, where there is a mind that is set on God with sobriety and attention, and where there is frequent prayer against enemies, there is the place of God, or the heavenly place in our hearts, in which the hosts of demons are afraid to stand, because God is living there (Ch. 4).
5) The first gate of the spiritual Jerusalem, into which the mind is admitted, is the wise silence of the lips, even though the mind is not yet silent; and the second is moderation in eating, drinking, and sleep; the third is holy fasting, which purifies both the mind and the body, and reminds us to think constantly about death (Ch. 6).
6) Sweet longing for God, that is, the loving and holy memory of Jesus Christ, consumes every deadly veil of thought, every leatherlike and clinging illusion, every slanderous word and dream, every shameful imaginative conceit, and, to put it briefly, everything hostile and hateful to our souls. Jesus, being called upon, easily devours all these things. For no one else has salvation outside Jesus Christ. This is what the Savior himself said: “Apart from me you can do nothing” (Ch. 22).
7) During every hour and minute, we must observe celibacy to the fullest extent, by freeing our hearts from thoughts that darken the spiritual mirror in which we must imprint and shine the name of Jesus Christ alone, who is the wisdom and strength of God the Father. Let us continually seek the kingdom of heaven inside our heart; and we shall indeed discover in ourselves the secret seed, the pearl, the leaven, and all else, if we clear the eye of our minds. All this is necessary because our Lord Jesus Christ has said: The kingdom of God is within you, understanding by this the divinity that dwells within the heart (Ch. 23).
8) In the conduct of inner prayer, do this: combine prayer with sobriety, and sobriety will strengthen prayer, and prayer sobriety. Sobriety, constantly watching all the while, notices how enemies are trying to enter, and, by guarding them from their path with its own power, it at the same time appeals to the Lord Jesus Christ for help to drive away these evil warriors. In this attention, an entrance in the form of contradiction is threatened. And Jesus, who is called upon, expels the demons from their dreams (Ch. 25).
9) With extreme vigilance, keep watch over your mind. Only when you notice an evil thought, should you promptly repudiate it, but at the same time hurry to appeal to the Lord Jesus Christ for vengeance. The most sweet Jesus, when you speak, will say, “Behold, I am with you, to give you succour.” But even after your prayer, when all these enemies have been subdued, you should again continue to listen intently to your mind. Here again the waves of thoughts that multiplied earlier, one after the other, rush upon you, so that the soul seems to plunge into an abyss and is about to perish. But Jesus, aroused by his disciples, as God, forbids the evil winds of thoughts, and they subside. You, having thus achieved freedom from the attacks of evil spirits, for an hour or a moment, glorify Him Who saved you, and immerse yourself in thoughts of death (Ch. 26).
10) With each spiritual care (attention in feeling), you will take your path of attention and prayer, being constantly combined together, do something like a flaming chariot of Elijah, raising to the heavenly heights the one to whom they are associated. What do I mean? In the one who has set himself in sobriety, a pure heart becomes an imaginary heaven, with its sun, moon, and stars, providing a repository for the inconceivable God by a secret glimpse and an ascent of his mind (entrangement) (Ch. 27).
The meaning of the following the upper occult truths, is the second passing of human souls into divine minds. In the last perfected world there were no human souls, and human wisdom and knowledge were completed by divinity, which was to render humanity unblemished ideals of the Image of God. These pure human souls came to the perfection of wisdom and became divine wisom within the Hearts of God, that are always the most adorable and profound, and which still yearned for the approximation of human souls. Pure human souls are the most desirable objects of divinity, and these human souls, who are most times ignorant of their divine and pure essential terrestrial natures, submit themselves to the divine purpose of becoming righteous, and so desiring to be acted upon by the divine purpose. This final goal of divinity was in the transcended perfections of human souls, in preparation for the influence of divinity upon them. In human souls with majesties, there was no doubt that their hearts were the purest and most adorable ones, on earth, and so they were destined to be perfectly receptive to the divine influence upon themselves. That is how pure human souls are selected for the right reception of the rays of divinity, which eventually bribes themselves for such reception. Human souls most often do not know what the purpose had been. Because the ascendants (ascensionary principles) desire to steer the souls of human beings to the midway pure state, the human soul acts in the deprivation of human spirituality, and in the appeasement of human wisdom.
1) The rising of the sun makes the night; and when Christ departs from the soul, then the darkness of passions embraces it, and the passions of thought begin to torment it. The sun of the senses has risen, and the wild beasts hide in their dens. Christ illuminates the mind that prays; and every light of this world recedes, and the mind comes into its proper sphere, that is, into the divine teaching until evening (letter 45).
8) Believe me, I tell you the truth, that if you constantly have before you the mother of every good thing – prayer – she will not fail until she shows you its limits, leads you into it, and establishes unspeakable glory and joy. She removes all obstacles, smooths the way to virtue, and makes it convenient for those who seek (letter 48).
9) In your thoughts, study the verbs of prayer, and speak to the Lord, constantly shouting and not sighing; persistently praying, following the unceasing supplication of the widow, who begged the merciless judge. Then (this will mean that) you will walk in spirit, not listen to carnal desires, and not cease the continuous communing to God, but become a temple of God, in which God is praised without ceasing. Thus, by praying in your mind, you will eventually be capable of ceaseless memory of God, of penetrating the hidden depths of the mind, of seeing the invisible in secret contemplations, of serving God alone to the one who is one, and of casting your love out in ways that are understandable to you alone (letter 48, pg. 201).
4) Sayings of Vasyl the Great and John the Prophet
1) The name of God makes enemies weaker. Knowing this, we will not cease to call on the name of God for help. This is a prayer, and the Scripture says: “Constantly pray” (respond 422).
2) Remember that God is a “heart-healer,” He looks at the heart, and call Him in your heart. This is what is said in Scripture: “Close the doors of your heart and pray to your Father who is in secret.” Let us close our mouths and pray to Him in our hearts; for he who closes his mouth and calls on God, or prays to Him in his heart, fulfills the commandment that is given (respond 427).
3) Your heart’s work must consist in constantly praying to God. If you wish to succeed in this, start and search diligently, hoping, and God will bless you with success (respond 26).
4) Constantly calling on the name of God is a medicine that kills not only passions, but also their very action. Just as a physician seeks a proper remedy or a plaster for a patient’s wound, and they work, even though the patient does not know how this is done: just as the name of God, when it is called, kills all passions, even though we do not know how it is done (respond 421).
5) The Lord said: “Ask and it shall be given to you.” Pray to the All-Beneficent God to send you the Holy Spirit of Consolation, and he who has come shall teach you everything and reveal all the ceremonies to you. Find him in a guide. He will not allow obsession or confusion in the heart, nor will he allow carelessness, scattering, or laziness to come to mind; he will enlighten the eyes, strengthen the heart, raise the mind. Adhere to him, believe in him, and love him (reply 136).& 5.2) When a lie appeared in Alexandria and its vicinity, he left and retreated to the Lavra of Nikonor. The god-fearing Pavich gave him his secluded place and arranged for him to be left alone. For a whole year, he would not allow anyone to see him, and he came to him only when he would give him the necessary bread. The Holy Resurrection of Christ came; when, upon meeting, they began to converse, and the conversation touched upon the ascetic life, Filimon understood that even this pious brother Pavich had a beautiful intention (to live as an ascetic), that he taught him many words about asceticism, written and unspoken, showing all that it is impossible to please God apart from profound solitude, that in isolation even Moses’ feat is useless, and that a feat produces grief; grief produces fear; fear produces humility; humility produces wisdom; wisdom produces love, and love brings the soul to health and freedom from selfishness, so that a man comes to know that he is not far from God.3) He said to him: it is proper for you, with the aid of silence, entirely to purify your mind and give it a ceaseless activity of the spiritual. Just as the eye, turning to the sensible, marvels at the visible, so a pure mind, turning to contemplation, is enchanted by the spiritual vision, so that you cannot separate it from that. And the more it is revealed by silence from passions and purified, the more it is pleasing to spiritual conduct as well. A perfected mind is then when it tastes of the essence of being and unites with God. Then, having the dignity of a king, it no longer feels poverty and is not enthralled by worldly desires, even if one offers it all the kingdoms. Therefore, if you wish to attain these virtues, flee from the world and with diligence proceed on the path of the saints, leave the care of your outward appearance, wear simple clothing and modest ornaments. Keep your conduct simple, your speech unpretentious, your ways unholy, your voice unarticulate. Love to live in poverty and be despised by all. Be most anxious to preserve your mind and sanity; be patient in all hardships and take special care to preserve the spiritual blessings you have already acquired unsullied and unmovable. Guard your soul carefully and do not accept any of the passions that creep in secretly. For though silence restrains the passions of the soul, if one lets them flower and become intensified, they usually become even more passionate, and those who permit this tend to commit even greater sins. Likewise, bodily wounds that are rubbed and torn are incurable. Even one word can distract the mind from the memory of God when demons are used to it, and the emotions agree with them. The greatest feat is to preserve one’s soul. Therefore, it is proper for you to completely withdraw from the world and, having separated the soul from all affection for the body, become houseless, homeless, ownerless, homeless, selfless, carefree, unconfined, ignorant of human affairs, humble, compassionate, kind, gentle, gentle, quiet, quiet, with peace in his heart. For it is impossible to write on wax without first smoothing the letters already engraved on it, as the Great Basil teaches us. Such was the image of the saints who, having completely withdrawn from all worldly customs and preserving in themselves a quiet heavenly contemplation, illuminated themselves with divine laws and shone with godly deeds and words, dying the temporal things of the flesh by restraint, fear of God, and love. For constant prayer and instruction in the divine scriptures open the wise eyes of the heart and behold the Ruler of all, and there is great joy, and the divine desire that is without cease bursts forth in the soul, while the body is preserved, by the action of the Spirit, and the entire person becomes spiritual. This is how the founders of blissful silence and the strictest ascetic life delight, who, having cut themselves off from all human comfort, talk unceasingly to the One Lord who is alone in heaven.”4) After hearing this, that pious brother, raptured with divine love, left his place and, together with Filimon, reached the hermitage where the greatest of the fathers had followed the path of holiness. They settled there, entrusting their care to the abbess of the Lavra, since they wanted to be in silence. And they stayed there by the grace of God in complete silence, attending the joint church services on Saturdays and Sundays, while on other days they remained alone; during these days each one offered prayer and worship in particular.9) A brother named Ivan, when he got out of bed, went to the holy and great Father Filimon and embraced his feet, saying to him: “What shall I do to save myself? For my mind is scattered and roams about here and there, where it should not be.” And he, after a while of silence, said: “This illness [of the soul] is a peculiarity of those who are external, and it dwells in them. It is in you also, because you have not yet received love for God; the warmth of love and knowledge of Him has not yet come to you. The brother says to the elder: “What shall I do, father?” He said to him: “Go, take the hidden teaching into your heart, and it will purify your mind from this.” The brother, not being initiated into what was given him in a sign, says to the elder: “What is this hidden teaching, father?” And he said to him: “Go, be sober in your heart, and, with fear and trembling in your thoughts, say: “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” Thus the saintly Diadoch expounds the beginning.11) A brother asked him: I have many vain thoughts in my sleep. The old man said to him: Do not be lazy or fainthearted; but before falling asleep, do many prayers in your heart and resist the thoughts and movements of the devil, so that he may not lead you by his will. Use all your strength to go to sleep with psalms on your lips and with intelligent instruction, and do not allow your mind to accept the thoughts of others at any time, but with whatever thoughts you prayed, bend down to them and go to sleep with them, and when they are in you, they will be over you when you are asleep. Recite also the holy symbol of the Orthodox faith before you go to sleep, for the truth about God is the source and protection of all blessings.
And here is what he was saying to him: Think about the things that are superficial and that are in the soul, they are the disease of the perfect soul that has indulged in negligence; and this is what the Scriptures tell us we are commanded to observe in order to maintain the purity of our minds, to sing intelligently, without distraction, and to pray with a pure mind. Therefore, brother, God wants us to show our zeal for Him, first through our works (aspirations and good deeds), then through love and constant prayer, and He will show us the way of salvation. It is evident that there is no other way that leads to heaven, but perfect separation from all evil, acquisition of all good, perfect love of God, and staying with Him in virtue and truth, so that when this is the case in someone, he will soon ascend to heaven. But in doing so, anyone who wants to take the ascension must immediately put to death the passions that exist on earth. For when our soul delights in the vision of true good, it no longer returns to any of the passions that are aroused by sweet sinful pleasure; but, turning away from any carnal filth, it receives the revelation of God with a pure and unblemished mind. Therefore, we need great self-preservation, many physical activities and purification of our soul, and we must imbue God into our hearts so that we can do other things without sin, in accordance with His divine commandments, and that He Himself may teach us to keep His laws, radiating upon us through the actions of His grace of the Spirit. Through activities and temptations, we must purify the image in which we were created as rational beings, capable of understanding and becoming like God, bearing sentiments that are pure from all defilement through the refusion of them in the furnace of temptations, and by becoming imbued with the royal dignity. God and the human race have been created to appreciate any good that can be contemplated in the mind, like the joy of the angels of glory, dominion, power, beginning, authority, unapproachable light, and radiant glory. But when you have perfected some virtue, do not let your thought rise above your brother, because you have perfected it, but he has hated it; for this is the beginning of pride. When you struggle with some passion, do not grieve or become discouraged by the fact that the adversary is holding firm; but arise, and place yourself before the face of God, sincerely saying with the prophet: Let God judge those who malign me, for I am not strong against them. And when he sees your humility, He will soon send you His assistance. When you travel with someone, do not accept a vain conversation, but give the mind spiritual activity that it had, so that this good habit grows in him and the forgetting of the worldly delights, and he would not leave the harbor of detachment.
13) And after a little while he came again, and beginning the conversation, he asked: What should I do, Father? In my night service I am troubled by sleep, which prevents me from praying correctly and from growing in spirituality; and I want to take up work when I sing. To this the elder said: If you can pray correctly, do not touch work; if you succumb to slumber, then, slightly deviating from the thought, strain it and then touch the work. He asked again: Do you yourself, Father, not become tired during your service? The elder said: Not so easily; however, when sleep sometimes assaults me, I bow a little, but I begin reading from the beginning of the Gospel of John, directing the eye of reason to God, and it immediately disappears. I do the same thing with thoughts, especially when one of them finds me, I encounter it with tears and fear; and it disappears. But you cannot yet equip yourself against them. Above all, keep the secret teaching and try to perform the established prayers by the Holy Fathers, such as daily prayers, mornings, third, sixth, ninth, and Evening Service, and also nightly services. Make every effort not to do anything for the sake of men, and lest you sever yourself from God, keep yourself aloof from every word and act of enmity. Also make an effort to not spread your thought here and there, careful to listen to your inner thoughts. When you are in church, if you intend to receive the Holy Sacraments, don’t leave the church until you have the complete gift of the Holy Spirit. Standing in one place, do not move or depart until the dismissal is over. In your heart, think to be in heaven along with the holy angels, expecting to receive God into your heart. It is only by preparing yourself in this way with fear and trembling that you can become a worthy participant in the holy powers.14) Another brother who lived with me said the following: Sitting with him one day, I asked him: was he tempted by demonic attacks while living in the desert? He replied: “Forgive me, brother, if God allows the devil to come to you with temptations similar to those I suffered, I do not think you can endure their bitterness. I am seventy years old, or even older, and I have endured many temptations while living in different deserts in complete silence. I know what I have experienced and endured from these demons, and it is not good to tell those who have not yet been tempted by this silent life. In such temptations I have always done this: I put all my trust in God, to whom I gave both vows of abstinence, and He quickly rescued me from all need. Why, brother, do I no longer make any effort on my own? But knowing that He cares for me, I can easily endure the temptations that come to me. And all I bring to Him is to continually pray. It helps a great deal in this and is also the hope that the more sufferings and misfortunes fall upon me, the greater the rewards for the patient: for in the upright Judge they balance each other out. Knowing this, brother, do not give in to discouragement. Having entered the midst of the battle, may you fight, may you take courage from the fact that those who are fighting against the enemy of God are very many, far more than the enemy’s hordes. And how could one dare to resist such a terrible adversary of our race, if the benevolence of God’s Word did not embrace us, did not girdle us and cover us? How could human nature withstand his attacks? For as Job says, Who will open the coverings of his garment? Who will come to his destruction? Fire devours from his nostrils and sparks from his eyes. Smoke of funeral pyre rises from his nostrils, a fire that burns in flaming flames. The spirit of his being is like fire and like flaming arrows from his mouth. Strength is upon his neck, death passes in front of him. His heart is hard as a stone, standing in a loom. He sets fire to the abyss, like a brass furnace. He thinks the sea is a quiet harbour, and the pool is like a prison. All that is high is seen by the king himself, and all that lives in the waters. That is our fear, brother! That is how the word of this tyrant has depicted him! Despite all this, victory over him is easy for those who, as it should be, live a solitary life, because they have nothing to give him, because they have renounced the world, because of their high virtues, and because we have the one who fights for us. For who, tell me, having approached the Lord and having accepted His fear in his mind, has not embodied his nature and has brought himself into harmony with divine laws and deeds, has not made his soul bright and capable of shining with divine understandings and thoughts? Such a person never allows it to be sanctified, having God in himself, Who incites the mind to eagerly seek light. And the soul is constantly influenced by this, the spirit does not allow the senses to run away: but as a king who, breathing with terrible wrath and harmony, ruthlessly ploughs them. Such a person never goes back, but by practice (virtues), by the influence of his hands on heaven and by reasoned prayer he wins the victory in the battle.
15) Another brother told us that Abba Filimon had such virtues: he could not bear to hear empty words, and if someone, forgetful of himself, related something that was not to the benefit of the soul, he did not respond at all. Also, when I went on any matter, he did not ask, “Why are you going?” And when I returned, he did not say, “Where have you been?” or “What did you do or how?” Once, going to Alexandria for an urgent need, and from there on a matter of the Church I went to Tsargrad, without letting the servant of God know; then, staying there for a time, visiting the pious brothers there, I finally returned to him at the skete. Seeing me, the elder rejoiced and, greeting me as usual, composed a prayer and sat down; but he did not ask me anything at all, and was busy with his usual intelligent actions.18) He then added an account of a lonely man, telling us that he had already reached complete impartiality and received bread from the hand of an angel, but had lost this honour due to distraction. For when the soul relaxes the attention of the mind, then it is seized by night. Where God does not shine, everything becomes blurred, as in darkness; and then the soul cannot look to the one God and tremble at his words. “God is drawing near to Me,” the Lord says, “and is not God from afar. Or is a man hidden in secret places, and do I not see him? The food of heaven and earth is God, not I?.” And he recalled many others, similar to those who had fallen. He also brought up the downfall of Solomon, who, he says, had acquired such wisdom and, being famous among all people, like a new moon rising in the morning, illuminated all with the light of wisdom, but for a little taste lost this fame. It is therefore very fearful to be indulgent to sloth; but we must incessantly pray that some other plan may not find us and take our minds away from God, and instead of him substitute something else in our minds. Only a pure heart, having become the abode of the Holy Spirit, sees God Himself in it, as in a mirror.
In whom from the beginning of repentance there is no dwelling of tears, neither of the tears of the spirit, nor of remembrance of endless suffering, nor of true silence, nor of unceasing prayer, nor of psalm singing and teaching in the divine Scriptures, in whom this has not become a habit, so that through continuity, it is through inexhaustibility of the mind, and the fear of God does not reign in his heart: he still rests in communion with the world and cannot have a pure mind in prayer; for only piety and the fear of God purify the soul from passions and, by making the mind free, introduce it into the natural contemplation inherent in it, and enable it to grasp the theology which it perceives in the image of blessedness (Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God), – this, for those who desire, is the settled spiritual establishment.
To those who lead a life worthy of imitation and long to draw closer to God, it is necessary to have a pure heart and clean lips, so that the words that come from pure lips may speak of God properly, for the soul that is attached to God continually converses with Him. Let us, brethren, strive toward such heights of virtue and stop wandering on earth, clinging to desires. He who ascends and comes close to God, has tasted the holy light of Him and has been struck with love for Him, enjoying some incomparable divine joy, as the divine psalm says: Ponder the Lord, and he will answer you, intone the Sacrament, and he will show you his ways. What love is so strong and unstoppable as that which flows from God into the soul that has been purified from every kind of evil? Such a soul, from the true disposition of the heart, says: Loved by love I am, I am the first beloved of God’s heart. Incomparable and incomparable brightness of divine beauty! No word can describe them, no ear can contain them! Can you describe the brightness of the sun or the radiance of the moon or the light of the sun – all this is unworthy in comparison with the glory of that one, and more worthless before the face of truthful light than the depth of night or the gloom of the eclipse before the clear dawn. So our brother Basil, the brilliant among teachers, told us this, having learned it firsthand and having become its teacher himself.
21) And here is what the fellow said: when he had a need to sell his crafts, in order to avoid any kind of lies, deceit, or unnecessary words, or any other kind of sin, he used to pretend to be a beggar, and whoever wanted to buy his crafts took them and paid him willingly. He made small baskets, and he accepted the payment gratefully, without ever saying a word.
2) Before beginning the exercises, say several prayers and do not distract the members.
3) Find in imagination the place of the heart under the left armpit, and set your attention there.
4) Bring your mind from the head to the heart and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, silently, with the lips, or with one mind, as you like, speak not hastily, with reverent fear.
5) Try during this time to maintain your attention and do not pay attention to any thoughts, neither weak, nor good.
6) Have quiet patience, laying yourself down for a long time, forgetting everything.
7) Keep a moderate restraint and humility, doing by force.
8) Maintain silence.
9) After lunch, read Evangile gradually, and those Fathers who ponder inner works and prayer.
10) Sleep for 5 or 6 hours per day.
11) Sometimes, by external prayer, ask for inner works.
12) Do not touch work which disperses.
13) Most often believe your experiences by the instructions of your parents.
<em>Lord! go forth the strength of my nature, and my will to attention!</em>, – exclaimed once the Holy Prophet David. Exclaim also, O my soul: Lord, go forth the firm resolve of my attachment to attention! For from You there is and what to do and what to act; let Your help and assistance, having purified the mind and heart by the help of attention, prepare them to be Your residence, the Triune.
The Final Meeting: The Traveller’s Account
I was telling them that I remembered my journey with a deaf old man, having a letter from an Irkutsk merchant’s son to his son in Odessa, to send me to Jerusalem. So we reached Odessa safely in a short time. My companion immediately booked a place on a ship to Constantinople and set off, and I, staying behind, went to look for the letter of the merchant’s son. Soon I found his apartment, and to my great surprise and regret, I did not find this benefactor alive: it was three weeks since his short illness had passed, and he had been buried. This upset me greatly, but I submitted myself to the will of God. All the household were in a difficult situation, and the deceased’s widow, with three small children, mourned so deeply that she wept incessantly, fell into a faint several times a day, and suffered; it seemed that she would not live much longer in such deep sorrow. However, she took me in kindly; having no possibility, given their circumstances, to send me to Jerusalem, she let me stay with her for about two weeks, until the deceased’s father came to Odessa to take charge of, account for and arrange the commercial affairs of the orphaned family. So I stayed behind.
I lived for a week, a month, and another: but instead of the merchant’s arrival, he sent a letter informing that he could not come to them because of his circumstances, and advised to make an accounting and immediately set out for him in Irkutsk. Meetings and fuss began, and as I noticed that they no longer cared for me, I thanked them for their kind hospitality and said goodbye, and set out again to travel around Russia…
I thought and thought: where should I go now? And finally, based on the idea that I should go to Kiev first, where I had not been for many years. So I went…
Of course, although at first I grieved that my wish to be in Jerusalem had not come true, but it was not without God’s providence, I reasoned, and comforted myself with the hope that the merciful Lord would accept my intention as a deed and not leave me on this poor path without grace.
This is exactly what happened, because I met people who opened up many things to me that I did not know, and enlightened my dark soul for salvation… If I had not been on this path through necessity, I would not have met these spiritual benefactors of my soul.
So, in the daytime I went with prayer, and at night, when I stopped for the night, I read my Dobrotolubstvo to strengthen and uplift my soul in the struggle against invisible enemies of salvation.
Finally, after leaving Odessa by 70 versts, I met a wonderful event: a large caravan with goods, about 30 in number, was passing by, and I caught up with it. One foreman cartman, as a leader, was going in front of his horse, while the others gathered in a group and were walking from behind. We had to pass by a peaty pond, in which the broken spring ice was twisting and dispersing water in a circle with a terrible noise. Suddenly, the forward young cartman stopped his horse, and the whole caravan had to stop. The wagonmen gathered around him and saw that the pond was being stripped. They asked him why he was doing so, and received an answer that he really wanted to bathe in the pond. The dismayed wagonmen, some began to laugh at him, others shouted at him, calling him crazy, and the eldest, the wagonman’s brother, who was being stripped, tried to stop him and pushed him to keep going. The young foreman defended himself and refused to obey. Some of the young wagonmen, in jest, started to pour water from the derrick, which ran into the ten horses, and splashed at the one who wanted to bathe – some on his head, some by his collar, saying: “Look, we’re buying you!” As soon as he touched his body with water, he exclaimed, “Oh, how good!” and sat down on the ground, while they continued to splash him; then soon he lay down and peacefully died. Everyone was frightened, not understanding why this happened. The elders took care of it and said that this death was written on his forehead for him.
“I cannot tell you anything about this, dear brother, except that nature contains many wonderful and unfathomable things to our reason. I think it is so arranged by God in order to make the laws of nature clearer to man, and to show more directly his providence and plan for nature in its unnatural and direct changes in certain cases… Once, I myself was a witness to a similar happening: not far from our village there is a very deep, crevassed pond, though not very large; it is even frightening to look at its dark bottom. A bridge is constructed over it for pedestrians. A peasant from my parish, a man of family and good character, suddenly felt an irresistible desire to throw himself off the bridge into that deep pool. For a whole week he struggled with this thought and desire; finally, he could no longer resist this strong impulse and, getting up in the morning, he hurriedly went and plunged into the pond. Before long, hearing a groan, they pulled him out of the pond with his legs broken. When asked about the cause of his fall, he replied that although he now felt severe pain, he was at peace in his soul, having fulfilled his irresistible desire, which had been haunting him all week, so that he was ready to give his life to carry out his desire. He spent a year in the city hospital; I visited him frequently and, seeing the doctors around him, wanted to hear from them, as you do, the reason for this incident. The doctors unanimously replied that it was “rage” … When I asked them to explain the cause to me from a scientific point of view, I heard nothing more than that this was a mystery of nature that science had not yet discovered … But I myself noticed, in turn, that if a person turned to people for this “rage” with his irresistible urges, he would not achieve his goal. In fact, there are many meetings in our lives that are not subject to clear understanding…
While we were talking like that, it became dark, and I stayed here to spend the night. In the morning, the station sent its clerk to ask for permission to bury the deceased in the cemetery, and that the doctor had found no signs of insanity during the autopsy of the body, and that his death was attributed to a sudden stroke.
“Well, look,” the priest said to me, “and medicine could not determine the cause of his insatiable urge to water.”
After saying goodbye to the priest, I continued on my way.
After traveling for several days and becoming quite tired, I arrived at a large merchant town called “White Church”. As the day was already late, I began to look for lodging. Just as I was standing in the marketplace, a man, also a traveler with the same appearance as me, asked about the house of a local citizen named Yavreynov. Seeing me, he approached me and said: “It seems that you are also a traveler; come, let us find the local citizen named Yavreynov, he is a devout Christian, has a rich inn and likes to welcome travelers; here he has a note about him.” I readily agreed, and we soon found him. Although we did not see the owner of the house himself, his wife, a kind old woman, welcomed us warmly and led us to a special room on the attic to rest a bit. We settled down and rested; the owner arrived and invited us to dine with him. After dinner, we talked about various things; suddenly, someone mentioned why he was called Yavreynov. He began to tell us about an interesting incident. “Here, you see,” he said, “my father was a Jew, a native of the city of Shkloŭ and was an enemy of Christians. From a young age, he prepared to become a rabbi and studied diligently all the Jewish intrigues to refute Christianity. One day, as he was passing through the Christian cemetery, he noticed a man who was unburied from a freshly dug grave. Fortunately, he was sleeping, when all of a sudden an unknown person appeared before him and reproached him, saying: “How dare you mock the dusty remains of my bones? I am a Christian, and you are the enemy of Christ. ” This scene was repeated several times at night, causing him no sleep and no rest. He read over him prayers and spells, but the visions not only did not go away, but became more frequent and even more insistent. He did not want to do this, but he made this plea: “I would be glad to do whatever you want to do to get rid of this painful and unbearable vision.” After signing the request, the vision stopped and never bothered him again. After that, he left home and married a good Christian woman, my mother, and lived a pious life in prosperity;
After dinner, thanking God and the master, we went to our room to rest. We didn’t feel sleepy yet, and we talked with our companion. He told me that he was a merchant from Mogilev, who had lived in Bessarabia for two years as a servant in one of the monasteries there, but only with a temporary passport, and now he was going back to his homeland to receive a lifelong release to monastic life from the merchant society. He praised the monasteries there, their statutes and regulations, and the strict life of many pious elders who lived there, and assured me that the Bessarabian monasteries were anti-Russian, as heaven is from earth. He also convinced me to go there. While we were having these conversations, a third night lodge was brought to us, it was an under-officer who had been discharged from the army for a while and was going on a home leave. We could see that he was very tired of the road. After praying together to God, we went to sleep. Waking up early the next morning, we began to prepare for the journey. And just as we wanted to thank the host, we suddenly heard a morning prayer. The merchant and I began to think: how can we leave, having heard the morning prayer and not having visited the church of God? It is better to spend the morning service, praying in the holy temple, and then it will be more pleasant for us to go. So we decided, and took the under-officer with us. And he said to us: “What a waste of time on the road, and what is the benefit to God that we will visit the church? Once we get home, we will pray there! If you want to go, I won’t go. While you are spending the morning service, I will go five miles ahead, and if you want to come home: recite it in advance, as God will lead you!”
So we went to church, and the under-officer went on his way. After celebrating the morning service (there was also an early service), we returned to our little room and began to pack our bags. We look: the hostess brought us a samovar, and says: “Where are you going? Here, drink some tea, and have breakfast with us; should we let you go hungry?” It wasn’t even half an hour since we were sitting by the samovar when our under-officer ran to us, panting.
– I have come to you with bitterness and joy.
“What is it?” we asked him.
– And here’s what happened! As I said goodbye to you and left, I felt like going into the tavern to exchange my assignation for small change and have a drink to ease my journey. When I entered, I changed my money, and flew away like a falcon. After going three versts, I felt like counting my money to see if the tavern owner had given me back everything. I sat down to my side, took out my wallet, counted my money, and everything was in order. Suddenly, I grabbed my passport, which was lying right there, and it wasn’t there at all; only notes and money. So I got scared, as if I had lost my head. I realized that I must have left it behind when I was paying at the tavern. I must run back. I ran and soon found myself in trouble again: where is it? I’ll be in trouble! When I arrived, I asked the tavern owner, and he said, “I didn’t see it.&8221; I was overcome with sadness again. I must look for it and wander around the places where I stood and caressed it. And what happened? Thankfully, I found my passport, just as it was folded, it was lying on the floor among straw and rubbish, all crumpled in the mud. Thank God! I was relieved; it was like a mountain had fallen off my shoulders! Although you can be taken to court for sloppiness and for being dirtier than a pig, that’s nothing, at least I can go home and return with tears in my eyes. And I came to you to tell you about this, and while running away in fear, I scraped my leg almost to the bone, so I can’t walk, and I’m asking for some medicine to bind the wound.
— И так, брате! За це, що не послухався и не пошёл поему с нами помолитися, – почав говорити купець. – Ось ти хотів далеко посперед нас піти, а натіч до нас повернувся, та ще й окуглявся. Я тобі казав, що не загадуй наперед, ото так і стало! Але мало того, що не пішов до церкви, а ще говорив такі слова: ‘щещо добре для Бога, що ми молимся’. Це, брате, погано… Звичайно, Бог не потребує нашої грішної молитви, проте, з любові до нас, любить, коли ми молимося. І не тільки Свята молитва, яку Сам Святий Дух сприяє приносити і збуджує в нас, Ним приємна, бо Він цього від нас вимагає, заповівши: ‘Будьте в Мені, і Я у вас’, але цінно для Нього навіть кожна, мабуть, мала справа, для Нього зроблена, кожен намір до спасіння, спонукання до нього. За все це великодушний Бог нагорожує щедро. Любов Божа віддає благодіяннями тисячі разів більше, ніж цього гідне діяння людське; якщо ти зробиш для Бога на незначний внесок, то Він віддасть тобі златицею. Якщо ти тільки збираєшся потіктися до Небесного Батька, то Він вже виходить до тебе назустріч. Ти коротким і сухим словом скажеш: ‘прийми мене! помилуй мене’, а Він вже обіймає тебе за шию і призиває. Ось яка любов Небесного Батька до нас негідна! І з цієї лише любові Він задоволений і радіє над кожним і найменшим нас спочатку. Нас видається: яка слава звідти Господа і користь тобі, якщо ти трохи помолишся, а потім знову розважишся або хоч зробиш якусь неважливу добру справу, наприклад прочитаєш якусь молитву, покладеш десять або чотирнадцять поклонів; зітхнеш із серця і покличеш ім’я Ісуса Христа, або помітиш якусь добру думку, або вирішиш прочитати щось спасенне, або утримаєшся від їжі, або перенесеш малу образу в мовчанні… Все це тобі видається малоцінним для досконалого твого спасіння і, як би неплідним. Ні! кожне з цих малих діянь не пропадає в безвість, воно буде взяті во увазі Всевидящим Оком Божим і одержить вельми багату нагороду не тільки у вічності, але й у цьому житті. Це стверджує і Святий Іоанн Золотоустий. ‘Ні будь-які добрі, каже він, як би малоцінні не були, будуть не зневажени праведна судженістю. Якщо гріхи досліджуються з такою подробиця, що ми даємо відповідь за слова, за бажання і за помисли, то яку добру справу, навіть коли вона невелика, буде взято во увагу і відбудеться нагорода не тільки у вічності, а й у цьому житті.’
I will give you an example, which I personally experienced last year. In the Bessarab Monastery where I lived, there was an elderly monk of good life. One day, a temptation came over him, and he was very eager to have dried fish. And as it was not possible to get it in the monastery at that time, he decided to go to the market and buy it… He long struggled with this thought and reasoned that a monk should be content with the common brotherly food and make every effort to stay away from vanity, and also to walk on the market among the people. Finally, the evil gossip took the upper hand over his reasoning, and he, succumbing to lust, decided to go for the fish. When he came out of the monastery and was walking down the street, he noticed that he had no crosiers in his hands, and he began to reason: “How can I go as a warrior without a sword? This is indecent, and the worldly people meeting him would condemn me and be tempted, seeing a monk without crosiers.” He wanted to turn back to get them, but when he looked in his pockets, he found them there. He took them out, crossed himself, put them on his hand and went calmly. Approaching the market, he saw a horse standing by the stalls, with a large cart of huge baskets. Suddenly, the horse, frightened by something, began to run away with all its might and strike with its hooves; it ran into it and, catching it by the shoulder, threw it to the ground, although not too hard. Almost simultaneously, two steps behind him, the cart overturned and the baskets were shattered. After getting up, he was of course frightened, but also surprised that God had saved his life, for if the cart had fallen even a second earlier, he too would have been smashed to pieces, like the cart. Without thinking about this further, he bought the fish, returned, ate, and, after praying, went to sleep… In a dream, a mysterious and noble old man appeared before him and said: “Listen, I am the patron of this monastery and I want to instruct you so that you understand and remember this lesson – that the struggle with sensual pleasures and laziness in self-denial and self-sacrifice gave the enemy the opportunity to attack you and he had prepared for you this accident that burst before your eyes.Indeed, God’s love for us, sinners, is unfathomable! Isn’t it strange that for such a small matter, for taking a kopeck from his pocket and putting it on his hand, and for once calling the name of God, a person is given his life! And on the scales of human life, one short minute of Jesus Christ’s call outweighed many hours wasted in idleness… Indeed, a sacrifice is made here for a small effort – a gold coin… Do you see, brother, how powerful is prayer, and how powerful is the name of Jesus Christ, which we call upon! St. John of Carpathia, in his book Dobrotolubie, says that when we call upon the name of Jesus Christ in prayer and say: “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” there is a secret voice of God that responds: “Child, your sins are forgiven in an instant.” Our prayer is no different from that of the saints, the righteous, and the martyrs, because, as St. Zlatoust says, “a prayer, even if it is said by us, sinners, immediately purifies” (words say. 2). God’s great mercy towards us, but we, sinners and careless, do not want to give even a little hour in thanksgiving to Him, and we exchange the time of prayer, which is the most important, for the problems and worries of our lives, forgetting God and our obligations! For this reason, we often face troubles and misfortunes, but this, to our understanding and to our turning to God, defines God’s loving providence.He took a book from his pocket and began reading a wonderful story about a godly man named Agaphonikos, who from childhood had been taught by his pious parents to read, before the icon of the Mother of God, the prayer ‘Hail Mary’, and others. This he did every day. Then, when he came into full maturity, he began to live alone and, engrossed by affairs and worldly concerns, he seldom read this prayer, and eventually abandoned it altogether. One evening he took in a traveler to spend the night with him. The traveler told him that he was a hermit from Phoenica and that he had had a vision to go to Agaphonikos and reproach him for abandoning the prayer to the Mother of God. Agaphonikos consoled himself with the argument that he had been reciting this prayer for many years, and had seen no benefit from it. Then the hermit said to him, “Remember, blind and ungrateful one, how many times has this prayer been of help to you and delivered you from misfortune? A traveling companion, who had fallen from the wagon with him, broke his leg, and you suffered nothing. And, recalling many such incidents, the hermit finally said to Agaphonikos, “Know, that all these events have been averted from you by the intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, for the short prayer with which you used to excite your soul to union with God . . . Look, continue in this, and do not abandon it.”
After this, I walked for five days, enjoying the memories of the stories I had heard from the pious merchant from the White City; then I began to approach Kiev, and suddenly, for no reason, I felt a burden, a lassitude, and gloomy thoughts; prayer was difficult, and I felt some despondency. Therefore, in order to rest, having seen a forest and a thicket on the side of the road, I went there to sit in a remote corner and read The Good-Lover to strengthen my weak soul and to calm my cowardice. Having found a quiet place, I began to read St. Cassian the Roman, in the fourth part of The Good-Lover, on eight thoughts. After half an hour of reading with pleasure, I suddenly saw a man standing motionless on his knees, fifty yards away from me, in the depths of the forest. I was delighted by this, thinking that, of course, he is praying to God, and I began to read again. After reading for an hour or more, I looked at this man again, and he still stood motionless kneeling. I found this very touching, and I thought to myself: “Here are the pious servants of God.” While I was thinking about this, the man suddenly fell to the ground and lay humbly. This surprised me, and, since I couldn’t see his face, since he was standing behind me, I became very curious and went to see who this man was. As I approached, I found him lying on the ground in a light sleep. He was a country boy of twenty-five years’ age, with a clean face and a noble appearance, but a pale complexion, wearing peasant overalls, strapped with a wetland rope, with nothing else beside him, not even a cane.
Well, on one day I used to go past St. Mark’s Church and I saw that the front of the church was boarded up, and a big pumpkin was placed there, as if they were drying it. Yes, a pumpkin was placed there, covered with canvas. I got curious and on my next trip to Russia, in October 1860, I went there and saw that in October the pumpkin had been dried out and they had cut it to pieces, and I was given pieces of the pumpkin to take home to Russia.
I took some pieces home to Russia, and my younger sister brought so much that I sold some and sent twelve roubles to St. Mark’s Church in Riazan. My older sister wrote to St. Mark’s Church in Riazan in 1878 and gave a report regarding the ’making’ of pumpkins in her letter. They told her that the pumpkins were sweet and cooked. And that is why they asked her to give some more and make more for the ‘making’ of pumpkins. I kept sending pieces home to my sister, and they kept selling them and sending me money. In 1887 I went back to St. Mark’s Church with my sister and took with us fourteen compositions of pumpkin plants, but they sold them and sent to Russia and bought fifty other ones. But in October 1889 I went to Russia again and it had already grown larger, which is why I took with me fifty plants of pumpkins.
And in 1893 I took with me fifty plants of pumpkins again. They began to eat them. They placed a pumpkin in front of their church and began to cook it. And in the first plot of land they planted a pumpkin. But in the following year they began planting pumpkins on land number two, there they began to cook pumpkins a few weeks later. Was that the end of plantings? Of course not. They even had a few pumpkin plants behind the church. The pumpkin trees grew very large and one pumpkin was said to weight forty kilograms. And they even began to make pumpkin jam, which they also distributed to other Riazan churches.
Dozens of houses in Riazan had pumpkin plants in their yards. When we came back to Riazan in June 1887, there were pumpkins everywhere. And in 1889 the goddess of crops had given little rain in Riazan. That year they could sow the corn and then in the following year they had a harvest of everything. And in 1893 the goddess of crops gave much rain, which is why they sowed the corn and everything used to die from the hail/the flood. But after the plantings the pumpkins were made and distributed. The first pumpkins were not cultivated and they were gone due to the heavy rain. And after that there were plantings everywhere, tending to old fields. They built big new labours, which were employed out of the harvest of pumpkins. And the pumpkins were made and distributed around the year. There were many diminishing workers. And at the middle of September there was a big pumpkin festival in Riazan also in 1887. They distributed pumpkins to every household in Riazan, because that is how it has been done for centuries and for many hundreds of years. And they made pumpkin jam and sold it, but when we came back to Riazan years ago, the pumpkin festival was no more. So many years after, they would distribute pumpkins again. They would distribute pumpkins again in 1893. They would distribute pumpkins again in 1900. They would distribute pumpkins again in 1905. In Riazan they would distribute pumpkins. And for the coming years they would distribute pumpkins. And there is a lot more to say about the use and the plantation of pumpkins. Would they distribute pumpkins again next year? If the goddess of crops gives plenty of corn, and if the lord gives a lot of money, then they would distribute pumpkins.
While listening to this, my heart was at ease, for the Lord had granted me the opportunity to see such a blessed person, and I asked him: “And do you now often engage in this prayer?”
“Well, it is impossible not to do so,” he answered. “As soon as I recall how good it was in the forest that day, as if someone pushes me down on my knees, and I will pray… I do not know if my sinful prayer is acceptable, for when I pray, I sometimes feel great joy, and I do not know why, ease, a sense of relief. However, at the same time, I always have a desire to pray until death.”
– Don’t worry, my brother: everything is easy for God and everything is beneficial, whatever happens during prayer, say the Holy Fathers, whether it’s ease, joy, or hardship – everything is good. No prayer, neither good nor bad, is lost before God. Ease, warmth, and delight show that God rewards and comforts us for this effort, and hardship, sadness, and dryness mean that God purifies and strengthens the soul and, through this beneficial endurance, saves it, preparing it with humility for the future grace of enjoyment. Here is proof of this, I will read to you from St. John the Ladder.
I found this article here and read it to him. He listened attentively and with pleasure, and thanked me very much for it. So we said goodbye. He went deep into the forest, and I, walking on the road, continued my way, thanks to God for the gift He gave me, a sinner, to receive such advice.
The next day, with God’s help, I arrived in Kyiv. My first and main desire was to speak, confess, and receive the Holy Mysteries in this blessed place, and so I stayed closer to God’s saints so that it would be easier to walk to the Church of God. A kind old Cossack welcomed me into his house, and since he lived alone, it was calm and quiet for me there. During the week I was preparing for confession, it occurred to me that I should confide in as much detail as possible. I began to recall, since my youth, all my sins in the smallest detail, so as not to forget them; I began to write everything down to the smallest detail and wrote a long sheet. I felt that 7 km from Kyiv, in Kyitaiyevskaya Pust, there was a monk of ascetic life who was very wise and prudent – whoever attended him spiritually, came to his senses, felt pity, and returned with a saving instruction and relief in his soul. This greatly consoled me and I immediately went to him. After consulting and talking, I gave him my sheet for review. After reading it, he said to me: “My dear friend, you have written a lot of empty talk. Listen: 1) you should not pronounce those sins at confession that you have previously regretted and been forgiven and not repeated, otherwise it will be a lack of trust in the power of the sacrament of confession; 2) the Holy Fathers forbid pronouncing sins with all their details, but rather confessing them in general, so that private examination of them does not arouse temptations in yourself and in the confessor; you have read everything, and the most important thing has been left behind, that is, you have not announced the most serious sins, you have not acknowledged them and have not written down that you do not love God, you hate your neighbor, you do not believe the word of God, and you are full of pride and ambition in all your sins.
– It is a pity, dear friend, that you did not understand much of what I was explaining to you. In order to teach you more quickly, here is a list by which I myself always confess. Read it, and you will clearly see the exact evidence of what I was telling you now.
The clergyman gave me a list, and I began to read it.
Confession of an inner man leading to humility
By carefully looking at myself and observing my inner state, I have experiencedly come to know that I do not love God, I do not have charity for my neighbor, I do not believe in anything religious, and I am full of pride and self indulgence. All this I truly find in myself by the careful examination of my feelings and actions.
1) I do not love God. If I loved Him, I would think about Him with heartfelt pleasure, and every thought of God would bring me joy. On the contrary, I think about worldly matters far more often and far more enthusiastically than about God. If I loved Him, I would be nourished and cheered by communion with Him through prayer, and I would long for constant conversation with Him; but, on the contrary, I not only do not enjoy prayer, but I even feel labor when I do it, I struggle against reluctance, I get lazy and inclined to engage in anything unimportant, just to shorten or stop praying. In meaningless activities, time passes me by unnoticed, but when I am engaged in God, when I place myself in His presence, every hour seems like a year to me. Whoever loves someone, thinks about him constantly throughout the day, imagines him, cares about him, and with all his activities the beloved friend never leaves his thoughts; and I hardly separate a single hour throughout the day to deeply plunge into thoughts about God and to devote myself to His love, and twenty-three hours I willingly sacrifice to my passionate idols! I am dry, sad, and lazy. If, even unconsciously, I become enthusiastic about other matters for a divine conversation, I strive to move on to a conversation that pleases my passions. I am keenly interested in news, civil decrees, political events; I eagerly seek to satisfy my curiosity in worldly sciences, arts, and acquisitions, while studying the Law of the Lord, getting to know God and religion, has no effect on my soul and I consider it not only a frivolous occupation of a Christian, but as if it were a foreign and only a foreign time, a pastime. In short, if a person is known by the performance of the Lord’s commandments: “If you love me, keep my commandments,” says the Lord Jesus Christ, and I not only do not keep His commandments, but I hardly even try to do so, then, speaking from the purest truth, it should be stated that I do not love God and His Christ… This is “proof that a person does not love God and Christ, if he does not keep His commandments” (Doctrines of Christian Ethics 3).3) I do not believe in anything religious. I do not believe in immortality or the Gospel. If I were firmly convinced and absolutely believed that there is an eternal life with a reward for earthly deeds, then I would think about it constantly; the very thought of immortality would frighten me, and I would regard this life as a foreigner preparing to enter his homeland. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternal life and consider the end of this life as the limit of my existence. A secret thought nests in me: who knows what will happen after death? If I say that I believe in immortality, then I say it only out of reason, and my heart is far from a firm belief in it, as my actions and constant concern for the welfare of my sensual life openly testify. If the Holy Gospel, as the word of God, were to be accepted into my heart with faith, I would constantly study it, delight in it, and even look upon it with deep reverence. The wisdom, goodness, and love hidden in it would move me with admiration; I would delight in the teaching of God’s Law day and night, feed on it like food, and be deeply attracted to the observance of its precepts. Nothing earthly would distract me from this. On the contrary, if I occasionally read or hear the word of God, it is either out of necessity or curiosity, and with no deep attention, I feel dryness, insincerity, and, as if reading something common, I leave it without any fruit and readily replace it with more worldly reading, subjects.After the priest had read this confession to me, I was horrified and thought to myself: “Oh my God, what terrible sins hide in me, and I have not yet noticed them!” So, the desire to purify them made me beg the instructions of this great spiritual father, by whatever means, through the knowledge of the causes of all evils, to find a way to remedy them. And so he began to explain to me.The old man listened to all this with respect and asked this holy father to confess me and grant me the sacraments of the Holy Christ. So, in the morning, having received communion, I wanted to return to Kiev with this gracious admonition, but this good father of mine, intending to go to the Lavra in a few days, left me at this time in his hermit cell so that I could freely go into prayer in this silence. And indeed, all these days I spent as if in heaven: with the prayers of my confessor, I, the unworthy, enjoyed perfect peace. Prayer flowed so easily and peacefully into my heart that I at this time seemed to have forgotten about everything and myself, thinking only of the only Jesus Christ!So I wanted to leave and went out into the yard, when suddenly I saw a person in a special alcove, who did not seem to be Russian, lying in bed and reading a book. He beckoned me to himself and asked who I was. I told him. That’s what he began to say: “Listen, dear, will you not agree to serve me, a sick man, for a week, until I recover with God’s help? I refuse, servant of God!” – If you wish, he continued, I can tell you more about the intonation of the Lord’s prayer, as I happened to learn in the Academy at Athens.[1]
Listen: many times it has happened to me to hear how many godfearing Christians repeat the silent prayer based on the word of God and the teaching of the holy Church, not only in their home prayer, but also in the temple of God. Listening carefully and with pleasure to this quiet recitation of the prayer, it is possible to notice, for the benefit of the soul, that the note of this prayer’s voice is different in many, and specifically: some raise the tone at the very first word of the prayer, namely, by saying “Lord”, and conclude the rest of the words with a lowering of tone. Others, beginning the prayer with a lower tone, raise it in the middle of the prayer, namely, at the word “Jesus”, and, making an exclamation, conclude the rest of the words with a lowering of tone, just as they began. Others, beginning and continuing the previous prayers with a low, uniform tone, raise the tone on the last word, namely, on the word “Forgive me”, with enthusiasm. And some, pronouncing the entire prayer, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”, raise the tone only on the word “Son of God”.
Now look: one prayer is the same; Orthodox Christians hold the same faith; the general understanding that this most important and most important of all prayers includes two objects – Lord Jesus and His mercy – is known to everyone. Why do not all express it in the same intonation, that is, in pronunciation? Why is each person especially moved and expressed in a particularly elevated and tense tone at a different place? Maybe many will say that this is due to habit, or to someone else’s example, or to a concept that corresponds to each person’s different view, or, finally, to whom it is easier and more convenient to pronounce according to his ability to speak … And I think otherwise. I would like to look for something higher here, which is not only unknown to the listener, but also to the person who prays – is there not a secret movement of the Holy Spirit here, which “murmurs unexpressed sighs” in those who do not know: how and what to pray? And if everyone prays in the name of Jesus Christ in the Holy Spirit according to the revelation of the Apostle, then the secretly acting Descended Spirit “pray for those who pray”, along with this, against their will, may also give each person His gracious gift: one has sacred fear of God, another has love, and another firmness. Therefore, the person who has received the gift, who is in awe, and praises the state of the Almighty, in His prayer expresses, with a special feeling and delight, the word ‘Lord’, in which he has in mind the majesty and power of the Creator of the world. The one who has received the mysterious outpouring of love in his heart, is mainly thrilled and enthralled by the exclamation ‘Jesus Christ’, just as an old man could not easily hear the name ‘Jesus’ without any special feeling of love and sweetness, even in ordinary conversation. The one who firmly believes in the Deity of Jesus Christ, who is one essence with God the Father, flashes and becomes even more firm in faith, by pronouncing the words ‘Son of God’. The one who steadfastly believes that God the Father is God and that the Holy Spirit is God and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God, and that theFive days I spent with this man of God, and little by little he began to recover from his illness. That time was instructive for me, so that I did not notice how it passed, for in this room, as if in a silent prison, we were engaged in nothing other than praying in secret, calling on the name of Jesus Christ, or talking about only one thing, namely, the glory of God and the holy and blessed apostles.Here I began approaching Pochaev. Not having gone a hundred versts, a soldier caught up with me. I asked him where he was going, and he told me that he was heading home to the Kamiangyanets-Podilskyi Province. After walking ten versts in silence, I noticed that he was sobbing heavily as if he was grieving about something, and was very gloomy. I asked him: “Why are you so sad?” And he began to cling to me and say: “Good man! If you have already noticed my sadness, then shake hands and swear that you won’t tell anyone, and I’ll tell you everything about myself, because death is coming for me, and I have no one to advise.”
“Do you see…?” he said, “I was conscripted by the landowner peasants. After serving for five years, I became intolerably tired, and was often beaten for misconduct and drunkenness. I decided to run away. Well, I have already been on the run for twelve years. For six years I hid and hid, here and there; I broke horses and traded with various swindlers; I met a soldier who was going home to a distant province with an honorable discharge. My soldier died and all his savings were gone. He left safely for the distant Astrakhan province. There I became sensible and started hiring workers. I drank, and so did my wife, and in a year we spent all that was left after the old man. One day I had a hard time and sold an old horse to a merchant. Then I went into the woods to wait for midnight. When I lay there, I fell asleep soundly. My head and hands remained out. Then this ugly cloud seemed to descend on the ground, and my old grandfather, who had died twenty years ago, came out of it. Several bags of items I stole at various times. I was even more frightened. Squeeze him harder!” Then suddenly the earth began to squeeze and press me so strongly from all sides that I, unable to bear the pain, suffocation and extreme fatigue, coughed and shouted: “Have mercy!” Squeeze him harder!” And I felt such strong pain and suffocation that no torture on this earth can be compared to it. Finally, this old grandfather approached me with the horse I stole the day before, and shouted: “What is this? Squeeze him as hard as possible!” And it squeezed me with such a terrible pain and suffocation from all sides that I could not describe how cruel, frightening and exhausted it was; it was as if something alive was pulling me and pressing my chest with such terrible pain that I could have fallen without a mind, if that torture had been even a little softened. My jaw was split. At that moment, with that blow, I woke up in terror and, trembling with shock, barely got up and went home. My foot hurt for a long time, as you see, and now there is a scar where there used to be none. I still hurt it more often, and finally I became afraid of people and ashamed as if everyone knew of my former cheating. I have gradually come to the point of wanting to suffocate myself. But I thought that I wasn’t going to live long anyway and would soon die, because all my strength was gone. So I decided to go and say goodbye to my homeland and die there. What am I to do? After all, my endurance is not enough!”
After listening to all this, I was surprised at myself and praised the wisdom and grace of God, seeing how it turns sinners in various ways, and began to tell him: “Brother!”
– No way! he said to me: “It seems that when I begin to pray, God will immediately spoil me.”
– Empty, brother! These thoughts are put into your soul by the devil. God is infinitely merciful and has compassion on sinners and forgives those who repent soon. After all, you know the Lord’s Prayer, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, the sinner.” Here, keep repeating it without ceasing.
I was surprised and pleased when I asked him to tell me in detail what had happened to him.
He stood behind the church. And there came a woman, though not very well dressed, but apparently noble, and asked me where candles could be bought. I showed her. Magdalena went away, and I remained to pray at the foot of the Mother of God. I prayed and went on my way. After walking a little in the street, I saw an open window in a house, and a gentleman was sitting there reading a book. I had to pass this window, and I saw that it was the man who had asked me about candles in the church. As I was passing, I took off my hat, and he beckoned me to himself and asked: “Are you a traveller?” and, calling me to himself, he asked who I was and where I was going; then he offered me some tea and said: “Listen, little one! I am going on this journey on foot, in accordance with a promise. It is useful.”&nbps I liked his reasoning and his desire for prayer, and I asked him: “which particular evangelical instruction have you drawn your teaching on prayer from?” He said, from all four evangelists, in words from the entire New Testament, reading it from beginning to end. After a long time of reading it and meditating on it, I discovered what is the progressive and correct sequence of the teaching on prayer throughout the whole Gospel, from the first evangelist, all in the proper order (in a system). For example, the beginning sets forth the attack or introduction to the teaching on prayer, then the form or external expression in words, next the condition necessary for prayer, the means by which to learn it, and examples. Finally, the secret teaching about inner, spiritual, unceasing prayer to Jesus Christ, which is presented as a higher and more beneficial prayer than that of form; then its necessity, its good fruits, etc. In short, the exhaustive, complete knowledge of the practice of prayer is systematically, in order or sequence, conveyed through the entire Gospel from beginning to end.
When he heard this, I intended to ask him to list everything for me in detail, which is why I began to say to him: “As I love to listen and to talk the most about prayer, I would greatly wish to see this mysterious sequence of the teaching on prayer in all its detail. Please, My Lord, show me all this by the entire Gospel.”
“And he readily agreed and said to me, ‘Look into this Gospel and mark what I will say’ (he gave me a pencil). Please examine these notes of mine. Here, he began to say, first in the sixth chapter of the Evangelist Matthew and read in it from the ninth verse to the nineteenth (Mt. VI, 5-9). Do you see here the preparation for prayer or the introduction, which teaches not to begin prayer for the sake of empty praise or in noise, but in a remote place and in quietness, to pray only for the forgiveness of sins and for union with God, and not to invent many and unnecessary requests for various needs of life. Then read further this same section from the nineteenth verse to the forty-fifth (Mt. VI, 9-14). Here is presented the form of prayer, that is, in what words it is to be uttered. It wisely combines everything necessary and required for our life. Then continue reading chapters fourteen and fifteen of the same section, and you will see the condition that must be observed in order for prayer to be valid, for without forgiveness by us of those who offend us, the Lord will not forgive our sins. Crossing over to chapter seven, you will find from verse seven to twelve verses of the means for success in prayer and approval in hope: ‘ask, seek, knock’; this strongly expressed saying represents the frequency of prayer and the prevailing exercise in it so that prayer not only accompanies all occupation, but even exceeds them in time… This constitutes the most important characteristic of prayer… An illustration to this frequency of prayer is found in chapter fourteen of the Gospel of Mark, verses 32 to 40, where Jesus Christ repeats many times the same prayer-language. A similar illustration of the frequency of prayer is also in the parable of the persistent prayer of the friend in the Gospel of Luke (X, 5-14), and also in the many times repeated harassing prayer of the widow to the judge (Lk. XVIII, 1-15), showing the commandments of Jesus Christ which must be observed always, in every case, e. never to silence.”
After this thorough introduction, more profound teaching about secret inner prayer of the heart is revealed in the Gospel of John, and first of all, it is offered in the wise story of Jesus Christ’s conversation with the Samaritan woman, in which inner worship of God in spirit and truth, which God desires, is revealed, and which is continuous and ceaseless. (John 4:5-25).42 Then in chapter 15, verses 4-8, the power, strength, and necessity of inner prayer, that is, the keeping of the soul in Christ, in unceasing remembrance of God, are further clarified. Finally, read in chapter 16 of the same Gospel, verses 23-25. Look at what secret is revealed here! Do you see that the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or the so-called Jesus prayer, that is, “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” often and repeatedly repeated, has great power and is more easily able to open the heart and purify it. This can be seen from an example. The Apostles, who although they had been disciples of the Lord Jesus for many years and had already been taught by Him the prayer of the Lord, that is, “Our Father,” which is known to us from them, but when their earthly life was at an end, Jesus Christ revealed to them the secret of what they were lacking in their prayer in order that their prayer might be decisive. He said to them: “Yet ask nothing in My name. If you ask anything in My name, the Father will give it to you.” And this was the case for them, because after this, when the Apostles had learned to offer their prayers in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, then how many wonderful miracles they performed, and how greatly they were enlightened! Now do you see the connection and completeness of the teaching about prayer so wisely set forth in the Holy Gospel? If we then proceed to read the Apostolic Epistles, we will also find there a consistent teaching about prayer.
To continue the above remarks I will point out to you some passages indicating the belonging to prayer. Thus, in the Acts of the Apostles, there is a description of the practice, that is, of the diligent and constant exercise in prayer of the first Christians instructed in the faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:31), a description of the fruits, or outcomes, of this constant presence in prayer, that is, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and His gifts on those who pray. Likewise, in verses 25 and 26 of chapter 16. Then follow the order of the Apostolic Epistles, and you will see: 1) how necessary prayer is in all circumstances of life (Jas. 5:13-16), 2) how prayer helps activate the Holy Spirit (Jude 1:20-21) and (Rom. 5:26), 3) how it is always necessary to pray in spirit (Eph. 4:18), 4) how much calmness or inner peace is needed for prayer (Phil. 4:6-7), 5) how it is necessary to pray constantly (Philem. 5:17), and 6) finally, let us note that one should not only pray for oneself, but also for all (1 Tim. 2:1-5).
Thus, by studying the Bible carefully and for a long time, one can discover many more secrets hidden in God’s Word that escape from the rare or hasty reading of it. Have you noticed how wonderfully and consistently, i.e. in a secret systematic connection, the New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ unfolds its teachings on this subject that we have just followed? In what amazing order of sequence is it arranged in all four evangelists? Here is an example: in St. Matthew we see the introduction or the beginning of prayer, its form, conditions, and so on; moving on, in St. Mark we find examples; in St. Luke parables, and in St. John a secret exercise in inner prayer, although in all four evangelists, in varying degrees, all this is found. In the Book of Acts, the practice and consequences of prayer are depicted; in the Apostolic Letters, as well as in the Apocalypse itself, many elements are inextricably linked to the matter of prayer! This is why I am content with just one of the Gospels in studying all the ways of salvation.
Brother, we help one another, for
the city is firm and high; it is fortified
like a kingdom founded. (Ecclesiastes XVIII, 19).
– Yesterday, by my word and promise, coming to you, I took with me that venerable companion, who eased the journey by spiritual salvation, and whom you wanted to see.
– It is very pleasant for me, I hope, for these honest visitors, to see both of you and to hear your useful and experienced words. And as for me: this is a venerable silent monk, and this is a reverent priest. So, wherever two or three are gathered in the name of Jesus Christ, He Himself is promised to be there; and since we are now also three in His name, then, of course, His grace flows over us all the more generously!
Last night’s narration of your companion, my dear brother, about your burning devotion to the Holy Gospel, is very wonderful and instructive. It is interesting to hear how the mystery of this great holiness was revealed to you.
The All-Merciful Lord, Who wants all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, opened this understanding to me in a wonderful way, without any human mediation. For fifteen years I was a professor at the Lyceum, pursuing the path of life through the murky paths of excesses, being fascinated by the frivolous philosophy of the paths of the world, and not for Christ, and perhaps I would have perished altogether if not for something that I lived with my pious mother and my dear sister in that … boulevards, that I met and became acquainted with a wonderful young man who declared himself to be a French graduate student who had recently arrived from Paris and was looking for a place as a tutor. His wonderful erudition greatly pleased me, and I invited him to stay with me as a traveling person, and we befriended each other. For two months he frequently visited me, and we often took walks together, had conversations, and went out together in the most moral company. Finally, he came to me with an invitation to one of the aforementioned societies, and in order to convince me more quickly, he began to praise the special gaiety and pleasantness of the place he was inviting me to. Having said this for a few words, he suddenly asked me to leave my office, where we were sitting, and sit in the living room. This seemed strange to me, and I, having said that I already noticed several times that he was uncomfortable in my office, asked him: what is the reason? And I also kept him here, partly because the living room was near the room of my mother and sister, and therefore it would be inappropriate to talk about empty subjects there. He maintained his desire by various tricks, and finally he told me quite frankly: “Here on this shelf between the books, there is an Evangelion; I so respect this book that it is difficult for me in the presence of this conversation about our scattered subjects. Please bring it out of here, and then we will.” I, in my sincerity, smiled at his words, took the Gospel from the shelf, and said: you have long since said this to me! And handing it to him, I said: put it in that room yourself!” Just as I touched him with the Gospel, he immediately trembled and disappeared. This struck me so hard that I fell lifeless to the floor. The servants came in after hearing the knock, and for half an hour they could not bring me to my senses. Finally, I felt, I felt a strong fear, trembling, restless agitation, and a complete numbness of my hands and feet so that I could not move them. A doctor was called, who diagnosed the illness as paralysis, resulting from some strong shock or fright. For a whole year after this incident, under careful treatment by many doctors, I lay bedridden and received no relief from the illness, which later indicated the need to retire from teaching service. My elderly mother had died at this time, and my sister had settled down to dedicate herself to monastic life. Therefore, all this only further burdened my illness. I had only one consolation in this painful time | in reading the Gospel, which had not left my hands since the beginning of my illness, as a guarantee of a miraculous event with me.
Once, an unknown hermit who wanders around in search of a monastery came to me unexpectedly. He emphatically told me not to rely only on medicines, which without God’s help are not strong enough to help, and asked me to pray to God, fervently praying for that, because prayer is the most effective means of healing all kinds of diseases, both physical and mental. “How can I pray in this situation when I am unable to bow down or raise my hand for the Sign of the Cross?” I objected to his indifference. He told me the following: “Pray somehow!” And he was not able to explain to me how to pray in detail. After the visitor left, I began to reflect on prayer and its power and effect, recalling the theological lectures I had heard in the seminary when I was still a student. It was very pleasing to me; it revived in my memory the bright religious knowledge, warmed my soul, and I immediately began to feel some relief from my painful attacks. Since the Gospel was always with me, I believed in it with all my heart and, as a result of a miracle, and also remembering that I had heard the entire treatise on prayer in the lectures based on the Gospel texts, I considered it best to learn Christian prayer and piety. Having read this, I drew from it, like a plentiful spring, a full system of a saving life and true inner prayer. With awe, noting all the places and texts on this subject, I have, ever since, been trying to learn these divine precepts and to practice them as best I can, though this is difficult. As a result of my efforts, my illness gradually eased and, as you can see, I have completely recovered. Having remained alone, I, in gratitude to God for his paternal blessings and healing and enlightenment, decided, following the example of my sister and the impulse of my soul, to devote myself to ascetic life so that I could freely accept and assimilate the sweet teachings of eternal life indicated to me in the Word.EXPLOITER. – Such a binding condition is a special and strange manifestation of God’s grace and, with your scientific education, it is inexcusable not only to enter into sorrow, but even to allow the slightest doubt about divine intervention and His help into your soul! Do you know what the Enlightened Golden-mouthed one says about this? “No one should sulk (he admonishes) and believe that the evangelical commandments are impossible or inconvenient! God, in ordaining man’s salvation, certainly did not give him these commandments so as to make him a criminal through their inconvenience. No, eternity’s”(Metropolitan Hilarion, Chapters on Vigil).
Of course, a regular and unflagging implementation of God’s prescriptions for our nature would be exceedingly difficult, hence salvation is inconvenient: but the very Word of God that began with the commandments contains not only means for their convenient execution, but also for the consolation of those who perform them. Although this, at first glance, is veiled in mystery, it is, of course, for the better to guide the one practicing it towards humility and to make it easier for him to come to union with God through an invitation to take refuge directly with Him in prayer and in the request for his parental help. Such is the mystery of Salvation, and not by relying one’s own strength.
BUILDER. – I ruefully wish to learn about this mystery, so that it might be used by me, the insignificant and powerless, to at least somewhat improve my slothful life for the glory of God and my salvation.
EXPLOITER. – This mystery is known to you, dear brother, from your book Dobrotolyubye .[Danilov] In it, it consists of constant prayer, which you have so firmly mastered and to which you have so zealously devoted yourself and found such comfort in.
BUILDER. – I fall at your feet, venerable father! God forbid; grant me, from your mouth, to hear a useful word on this saving mystery and on holy prayer, which I most keenly desire to hear and love to read, to comfort and uplift my deeply sinful soul.
EXPLOITER. – Although I am not able to satisfy your desire with my own reasoning on this lofty occupation, for I am still little experienced in this matter, I do have a very clear notebook of one spiritual writer about just this subject. If you please, my other interlocutors, I will bring it here now, and, if you wish, I can read it to you.”
ALL. – Do us a favor, venerable father! Do not deprive us of such a saving knowledge.
The mystery of salvation through unceasing prayer
This pious Christian question naturally arises in everyone’s mind, due to a sense of wounded and weakened human nature and the remnants of its original desire for truth and righteousness. Anyone who has at least a little faith in eternal life and divine rewards inevitably finds himself thinking about how to save himself, when he turns his gaze to heaven… Finding it difficult to solve this problem, he asks sensible and knowledgeable people about it and then consults the books of spiritual writers on this subject, which reveal the established truths and rules. In all these instructions, he encounters conditions supposedly necessary for salvation: a pious life, self-improvement and self-sacrifice to accomplish good deeds, and constant observance of all of God’s commandments, which are a testament to the firmness of faith. When these are done with deep humility and together, as all virtues depend on one another and must support, perfect, and encourage one another, much like the sun’s rays only manifest their strength and make flames when they are concentrated through glass into a single point. Otherwise, “the wicked will fall into many evils” and “precious things are precious in the sight of the Lord, and things abhorred are detestable” (Pr 14:34; 16:5).
Thus, the soul in need of salvation begins with wholeheartedness to carry out the instructions and add to the study of all that is heard and read. But, alas! Already at the first step of his aspiration, he finds no possibility of achieving his goal, realizing and even feeling that his corrupted and relaxed nature will take precedence over the convictions of reason; that his free will is constricted, his spirit in impotence. Given such self-awareness of his powerlessness, he naturally turns to the preachers of salvation with a question: how can one be saved? How can one justify the conditions of salvation, which are inaccessible to him? And can the preacher himself steadfastly fulfill everything he teaches? …‘Ask God, pray to God that He will help you!’ would it not be better if, before or always, we taught prayer as the cause of the fulfillment of everything demanded by Christian piety and by which salvation is attained? The questioner concludes, and together with this, begins the study of prayer, reads, contemplates, understands the teachings of those who have written on this subject. True, he finds in them many bright thoughts, profound knowledge, and expressions. One perfectly contemplates the necessity of prayer; another – its power, its benefits, the obligation to pray, the fact that prayer requires diligence, attention, warmth of spirit, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and so on, what is required in prayer …
It is a general concept about prayer for those who are not familiar with the writings on inner prayer and the contemplative works of the holy Fathers. Finally, there is a seeker with a book called “The Prayers of the Fathers,” in which twenty-nine holy fathers clearly described the doctrine of true and substantial inner prayer. Here the mystery of salvation and prayer begins to lift its veil for him, and he sees that to pray truly is to direct one’s mind and memory to the unattainable remembrance of God, to walk in His divine presence, to deprive oneself of His love through contemplation, and to unite God’s name with the breath and movement of the heart, the guidance of Jesus Christ, or the creation of the Lord’s prayer at any time and place and at every occupation continuously.Paragraph 23: For the salvation of the soul, true faith requires good deeds – virtues, because “faith without works is dead,” because actions reveal a person, not faith alone, and “if you want to enter into the womb, keep the commandments: Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, but love thine enemy as thyself.” And all these commandments must be observed together. “If the whole law is kept, if you sinned in one of its precepts, you are guilty of all of them.” Thus teaches St. James the Apostle.
True prayer requires its conditions: it must be offered with purity of thought and heart, with strong effort, with firm attention, with reverent awe, and with deep humility. But who would not in good conscience agree that he is far from the above conditions for true prayer, that he offers his prayer more out of necessity, more under compulsion than out of inclination, out of pleasure in prayer, out of love for prayer? This is confirmed by Holy Scripture, which states that a person is unable to keep his mind free from foreign thoughts: “Is it not the nature of man from his youth to have evil thoughts?”
Just as God alone gives us a new heart and a new spirit, “what one desires and what one is is children of God.” And the Apostle Paul himself says: “My spirit (that is, my voice) prays, but my mind is without result.” And “do not suppose that we pray merely with the lips,” he affirms again. This implies that we are not able to manifest the essential properties of our prayer!
What then of each person’s power and freedom to save his soul? He is unable to acquire faith without prayer, nor to do good deeds; finally, he is unable to pray truly. What is left of his share, what is attributed to his free will and powers, if not to perish, but to be saved?
Since every matter has a quality of it, the Lord has shown this by His will and gift. And to make clearer the dependence of man upon the will of God and to plunge him into the wisdom of humility, God has left to human will and powers only a specific quantity of prayer, commanding them to pray ceaselessly at all times and in every place. In this way a mysterious way is opened to attain true prayer, along with faith, the keeping of the commandments, and salvation. Thus, a certain quantity has been assigned to man’s share. Part of his prayer is granted to his will…The Holy Fathers recommend above all, to begin our virtues and virtues with prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, often, uninterruptedly, because often and impure prayer leads to purity. Blessed Dioche says that if a person repeatedly invokes the Divine Name, he will not commit sins. What practical instructions the Fathers give, which are profound in simplicity and illuminate the ways and means for improving the soul. What a high contrast they present with the moral precepts of the theoretical mind! The mind convinces: do this and that good, arm yourself with courage, exercise the power of your will, become sure of the good results of virtue, for example, purify your mind and heart from vain thoughts, fill the place of them with instructive reflections, do good, and you will be honoured and peaceful; live as the mind requires, and with all effort, you will not achieve your goals without frequent prayer, without enlisting God’s help. Let us now open the instructions of the Fathers and see how they, for example, speak about the purification of the soul. St. Lysimachus writes: “When the soul is darkened by unclean thoughts, defeat the adversaries with the name of Jesus Christ, often repeating it. Stronger and more successful than this weapon you will not find on the heavens or on the earth.” St. Gregory of Sinai teaches: “Know that no one can hold back his reason by himself, and therefore, in the impurity of thoughts, call on the name of Jesus Christ more often and repeatedly, and the thoughts will subside by themselves.” What a simple and convenient, yet experienced method is this, opposed to the counsel of the theoretical mind, which seeks to achieve purity by its own activity! Having understood these experienced instructions of the holy Fathers, we come to the true conclusion that the main, the only, and most convenient way to acquire the works of salvation and spiritual perfection is a part, an uninterrupted part, of prayer, no matter how impure it may be.
Christian soul! If you do not find the strength in yourself to worship God with spirit and truth; if your heart does not yet feel the warmth and sweet taste in spiritual and inner prayer, then offer in a prayer sacrifice what you can, what lies within your will, what is proportionate to your strength. Let the lower organs of your mouth be like the first with an unceasing prayerful invocation; let them often and continuously call upon the mighty name of Jesus Christ. This is not a great effort and is within the reach of everyone. While doing this, however, the experienced commandment of the Apostle requires it: ‘We must continually give God our sacrifices, the fruit of our lips to the name of his glory’ (Hebrews 13:16). The part of prayer will inevitably become habitual and become a way of life, and will lead the mind and heart into the right disposition. Imagine, if a person had carelessly fulfilled one of the divine commandments concerning constant prayer, he would have fulfilled all the commandments, because if he would have been continuously praying at all times, in all his actions and occupations, secretly calling upon the divine name of Jesus Christ, although at first with only the body, then he would have had no time for sensual sins. Every sinful thought of him would have met an obstacle in its propagation, every sinful deed would not have been deliberated as thoughtfully in the empty mind: many words and idle talk would have been shortened or completely eliminated; and every guilt would have been immediately cleansed by the grace of the divine name. Constant practice in prayer would often distract the soul from sinful actions and draw it closer to a deeper knowledge of them – to union with God! Now you can see how important and necessary is the quantity in prayer? A part in prayer is the only way to obtain pure and true prayer, it is the best and most effective preparation for prayer and the surest path to achieving the purpose of prayer and salvation!
A spiritual writer aptly remarks on this. He says: “I know that for many false and deluded philosophical thinkers who are always seeking false greatness and noble appearances before the reason and pride of mankind, the simple, but daily and common practice of prayer seems insignificant, or a slight occupation, or a lowly occupation. They forget the instructions of Jesus Christ: ”Unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” They form their own doctrine for supplication, based on the subtle foundations of natural reason. Do not such frequent prayers exalt our divine Teacher? In half the world, there is no need for them! It is only necessary to continue them, to not stop, and to not worry: they will purify themselves….
Prof. – And yet I have listened with great respect and pleasure to your lecture, reverend father! All the proofs are absolutely true to my mind; but at the same time it seems to me that the possibility of uninterrupted prayer is determined mainly by favorable circumstances and complete solitude. For I agree that frequent or uninterrupted prayer is the powerful and only way of acquiring the grace of help in all the works of virtue and the sanctification of the soul, and it is available to the powers of man, but it can only be used when one is alone and at peace: when freed from duties, worries, and work load; then one has only to struggle with laziness or the boredom of thoughts; but if one is bound to one’s position, to unceasing duties, and must live in a noisy society of people, and one would diligently like to pray frequently, then one cannot do it because of the inevitable distraction. Therefore, the only way to frequent prayer under only favorable circumstances cannot be used by everyone, and it is not intended for everyone.SCHEMATIC. – Unfortunately, you are making this mistake! Not to mention how the heart, trained in inner prayer, can always, in all occupations (both physical and mental) in any noise, freely pray and call on the name of God (the leader knows this firsthand, and the non-believer should be gradually trained in this), it can be said firmly that no external obstacle can prevent one from praying. Since secret human thought is not subject to any external influence and is entirely free within itself, it can always be perceived and turned into prayer, even the language itself can secretly express prayer without an external sound in the presence of many people and during external activities; and yet our occupations are not so important, and our conversations are not so interesting, that it should not be possible to find a convenient time and often to invoke the name of Jesus Christ, even if the mind is not yet accustomed to continuous prayer; although, naturally, a solitary place and dispensing with distractions are the main conditions for attentive and unceasing prayer; however, in the event of impossibility to take advantage of this, one should not excuse oneself for the paucity of prayer: since the number of opportunities available to each person, both healthy and sick, is determined by his will. There are numerous examples of those who, burdened with duties, busy with personalities, worries, worries and work, not only always invoke the divine name of Jesus Christ, but even through this have learned and achieved continuous inner prayer. Thus, Patriarch Photius, elevated from the ranks of senators to the rank of patriarch, always remained in the call of the divine name while managing the great Constantinople flock, and even through this achieved spontaneous, heartfelt prayer. Thus, Callistus on St. Athos Mountain, while performing painstaking cook’s service, learned to pray constantly. Thus, the simple-hearted Lazarus, burdened with constant work for the brothers, constantly uttered the Lord’s prayer and was pacified even in the midst of noisy activities. And many others who similarly exercised in constant invocation of the divine name. If it were impossible to pray in the midst of distracting activities or in the company of people, it would of course not be prescribed that which is impossible. St. John Chrysostom in his sermon on prayer says the following. “No one should imagine that it is impossible to pray always to those occupied with life’s cares, or that it is not possible to be in church. In every place you find yourself, you can set up an altar to God in your mind through prayer.” One can pray anywhere. And indeed, if a person pays close attention to himself, he will be able to find a convenient place for prayer, so long as he is convinced that prayer should be the main occupation in the face of all his obligations. Do not get too involved in the cares of life so as to be able to take more time for quiet prayer. In this way, the possibilities and the will of a person are presented, and that at any time, in any situation and place, it is possible and convenient to move from frequent oral prayer to cogitative prayer, and from that to heartfelt prayer, which opens the kingdom of God within us.Profesor. – Well said, that during all mechanical tasks one can, and indeed conveniently, engage in frequent or even uninterrupted prayer, since mechanical crafts do not require intense concentration and profound reasoning, and therefore one’s mind can simultaneously delve into unceasing prayer and one’s lips follow along. But when I have to engage in something exclusively intellectual, like attentive reading or the reflection on a profound subject or an artwork, how can I do this and at the same time pray with my mind and lips? And since prayer is primarily a matter for the mind, how can I at the same time charge different tasks to the same mind?
Ierarch. Let me, venerated Elder, also express my thoughts. In the article you quoted, it is wonderfully expressed that the only way to salvation and perfection is through prayer – however it may be. I do not understand this, and therefore it seems to me that what will be of benefit if I continuously pray and call out only in the language of IM HYMNOS Theos, but not Him? This will only be mere babble! As a result, the language will become distorted, and the mind that prevents this in its reflections will also suffer damage to its working capacity. God demands not words, but an attentive mind and a purified heart. Is it not better, even if only occasionally, or only at a designated time, to perform even a short prayer, but with attention, with diligence, with warmth of heart, and with a worthy concept? Otherwise, even if you recite a prayer day and night, but without having spiritual purity and works of virtue, you will not gain anything of salvation; but by remaining with only external babbling, and eventually tired and bored, you will come to the conclusion that, having cooled down your faith in prayer, you will completely abandon this fruitless exercise. Furthermore, the futility of one vocal prayer can be seen in the scriptual warnings; for example: “These people honour Me with their mouths, but their hearts are far away from Me. ” “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven. ” “I would rather utter ten thousand words of my own mind than ten thousand words of darkness. ”> And others like this express the fruitlessness of external careless prayer in words.
TENET. – The conclusion you have drawn could have some foundation if it were not combined with the advice to pray in an intonation, that is, without interruption or continuously, if the prayer in the Name of Jesus Christ did not have a spontaneous power, and if attention and effort were not given to it by gradation in the practice of prayers. . . But since this is about the frequency, duration, and continuity of prayer (even if it is accompanied at first by inattention or dryness), let us examine this more closely. One spiritual writer, convincing us of the greatest usefulness and fruitfulness of frequent prayer expressed in monotone words, says at the end: “Although many ignorant people consider this oral and frequent making of the same prayer to be futile and even trivial, calling it mechanical and senseless; the secret which gradually opens up through this mechanical practice does not know how this inarticulate but frequent cry becomes a real cry of the heart, is heard within, becomes more pleasant, becomes natural to the soul, enlightens it, nourishes it, and leads to union. boys who were to be taught the alphabet and reading; this dull recitation of letters was for them a secret. to purify the soul, first you purify your body: you put on a fast, you deprive your body of nourishing and irritating food? pious, so convenient for you to forget… And you experience firsthand that through the outer fasting of your body you acquire an inner refinement of the mind, peace of heart, a weapon to control passions, and a reminder of spiritual practice. “So you obtain an inner spiritual benefit through the external matter. prayer that, by its longevity, develops the inner prayer of the heart: it inflames and promotes intellectual union with God. the following happens: whoever dares to call the name of Jesus Christ uninterruptedly, or, what is the same, to recite the prayer of Jesus without interruption, usually feels the exertion and struggles with laziness at first, but the longer and more he practices it, the more insensitive he becomes to this occupation, so that later on the effort goes on without effort, so that the movement of the lips becomes imperceptible and unspoken, and the prayer is prayed. to give in to and listen to this involuntary action of the lips, so that we are aroused to attention, which often becomes the source of sweetness of the heart and true prayer. the arguments you have given in support of your rejection, they can be explained by due consideration of them. They did not recognize it with their hearts. This is said to them and does not apply to the reading of a prayer, of which Jesus Christ plainly and positively, or certainly, commanded: “Always pray and do not knock” (just as he does not worry). Or in a meaningless, or unfamiliar language in church, understanding this to be public instruction, and not a prayer in itself, of which he says explicitly: “I want Christians to make prayer in every place” generally recommends: “Never stop praying,” what is the correct understanding of Holy Scripture?
BUDYVELNIK. Indeed, a faithful priest! I have seen many who, simply, without any enlightening direction, and without realizing what attention is, created the continuous Jesus Prayer by themselves, and who, as a result, could not keep their mouth and tongue from speaking a prayer that later delighted and enlightened them so much, transforming them from being weak and unwise.
SHYMNUS. That is so! Prayer seems to transform a person. Its power is so powerful that no force of passion can resist it. If you wish, I will read you, my brethren, a short, but interesting article that I brought with me.
ALL. We will listen with a pious pleasure!
SHYMNUS.
Testimony about the power and action of prayer
Prayer is so powerful and mighty that if you pray and do what you want, prayer will bring you to the right and righteous action.
For God’s glory, nothing more is needed than to love, love and do whatever you want, says Blessed Augustine: for whoever truly loves, he cannot will to do anything unloving to his beloved…Since prayer is the outpouring and action of love, it can be said that the same is true of it: do what you want, and you will achieve the purpose of prayer, you will achieve holiness through it!
In order to develop this concept more thoroughly, we will explain it through examples:
1) Pray, and think whatever you want, and your mind will be purified by prayer. Prayer will give you the enlightenment of the mind, quieting and eliminating all inappropriate thoughts. – This is what St. Grigory Sinaite says: “If you want to drive away thoughts and purify your mind, drive them away with prayer, for, apart from prayer, there is no other way to keep thoughts from you.” The same is said by St. John the Ladder: “With the Jesus Prayer, conquer your imaginary enemies, without this weapon you will not find any other.”
2) Pray, and do what you like, and your works will be pleasing to God and beneficial and saving to you.
Often prayer, whatever it is about, will not remain unproductive (Mark the Ascetic) because the prayer itself is full of grace. “Holy is his name, and everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” For example, someone who prayed unsuccessfully in ungodliness in this prayer received a vision and an invitation to repent. The lustful girl prayed when she returned, and the prayer showed her the way to a chaste life and to following the instructions of Jesus Christ.
3) Pray, and do not work so much with your own strength to overcome passions. Prayer will destroy them in you: “Which of you has any evil desire?” (Holy Scripture says). St. John the Carpenter teaches that if you do not have the gift of temperance, do not be sad; but know that God requires you to make efforts to pray, and prayer will save you.
4) Pray, and do not be afraid of anything, do not be afraid of poverty, do not be afraid of adversity, prayer will protect you, repel them. Remember the drowned unbelieving Peter; Paul, who prayed in prison; the monk who was saved from temptation by prayer; the girl who was saved from the assailant through prayer, and similar cases: this confirms the power, strength and all-encompassing nature of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.
5) Pray, in some way, but always, and be not ashamed of anything; be spiritually cheerful and peaceful: prayer will arrange everything and teach you. Remember that the saints, John the Theologian and Mark the Ascetic, say about the power of prayer: the first states that “prayer, even if it is offered by us, filled with sins, immediately cleanses.” And the second says this about it: “To pray is somewhat within our power; but to pray with purity is the gift of grace.” Therefore, what is within your power, offer it to God; even if the number of (for you is possible) is first sacrificed to him, and God’s power flows into your powerless power; and dry and dispersed prayer, but often, constantly, having acquired a habit, and turning into a nature, will become a pure, bright, flaming prayer worthy of God.
6) Finally, if the time of your sleep is accompanied by prayer, then naturally there will be no time not only for sinful deeds, but even for thoughts about them.
Now you can see how many profound thoughts are concentrated in this wise saying: “Love and do what you will. Pray and do what you will!” . . . How joyful and comforting all this is for the sinner, burdened with weaknesses – for one who is weighed down by the struggles of passions!
Prayer – that’s the all-encompassing remedy for salvation and the perfection of the soul . . . Yes, it is! But with the name of prayer is closely connected its condition: “Pray without ceasing,” the word of Bonaventure dictates. Therefore, prayer then reveals its all-encompassing power and fruit when it is practiced often, constantly, because it is often within our power: as is purity, diligence, and the perfection of prayer, it is a gift of grace.
We shall therefore pray as often as possible, dedicate our whole life to prayer, even if it is at first troublesome! The frequent practice will teach us attention, and quantity will assuredly lead to quality.
In order to learn to do something good, we must do it as often as possible, said one experienced spiritual writer.
THE PROFESSOR. Indeed, prayer is a great work! And zeal for its frequency is a key to unlocking its beneficial treasures. But how often do I encounter a struggle between zeal and idleness in myself! How desirable it would be to find a means and help to gain victory, to persuade and arouse oneself to constantly attend to prayer.
THE MAGICIAN. Many theological writers present various means based on sound reasoning to incite diligence in prayer: for example,
1) They advise us to engage in reflections on the necessity, the advantage, and the fruitfulness of prayer for the salvation of the soul.
2) They urge us to firmly convince ourselves that God demands prayer from us without fail and His word testifies to it everywhere.
3) We must constantly keep in mind that neglect and sloppiness in prayer do not allow us to keep up with the works of piety and to obtain tranquility and salvation; and therefore we must inevitably suffer the consequences of this both on earth and in eternal life as punishment.
4) They inspire courage with the examples of God’s Benefactors, who all attained sanctification and salvation by the path of constant prayer, and so on.
Although all these means have their dignity and stem from a true understanding, a sickly careless soul, accepting and using them, rarely sees their fruitfulness because these remedies are bitter for its pampered taste and weak for its deeply wounded nature. For some Christians do not know that one must pray often and diligently, that this is what God requires; that we will suffer punishment for neglect of prayer because all the saints prayed diligently and constantly; but this knowledge rarely has a beneficial effect! Every observer sees that he either does not do enough to justify these constant precepts of reason and conscience, or that he lives just as badly and lazily as a result of this remembrance…
Therefore, the experienced and wise holy fathers, knowing the weakness of arbitrariness and the softness of a lustful human heart, take special care of this, and from this side, like doctors, season the bitter medicines with sweet syrups and body pleasures, and soothe the recipient of medical vessels with honey, and reveal the easiest and most effective means to eliminate the effect through the help of God – to attain perfection and the sweet hope of the love of prayer to God. They advise us to reflect as often as possible on such a state of the soul, and to read attentively the stories of the Fathers who reassure us, in an accessible and easy way, how it is possible to achieve these sweet inner sensations in prayer; and how they are desirable, somehow: the delight that arises from the heart; the soothing warmth and light that flow within; the ineffable enthusiasm, joy, ease, deep peace and significant happiness of life that is inspired through prayer in the heart. By deepening these reflections, the weak and cold soul is warmed, strengthened, encouraged to pray, and lured, as it were, into the experiences of prayer practice, as Saint Isaac the Syrian says: “The bait for the soul is joy that is produced by hope, flourishing in the heart; and he continues, “From the beginning of this action and until the end, some kind of method and hope of accomplishment is envisaged, and this spurs the mind to lay the basis of the work in the mind, to borrow the mind for its own pleasure in the business”. Similarly, the Monk Ishikhiy, describing the shyness of prayer and the consolidation of a renewed diligence in prayer at the end, says explicitly the following: “Then we tend to be eager in the silent silence, as if for the sweet feeling and joy within the soul.” (Prayer, 4)
At the same time, it follows that it is by encouraging us to think about prayer that this Father „delights our heart and makes us happy…“ Similarly, the Great Macarius teaches us that our spiritual labors are „with eager attention and hope for the fruits, that is, with delight in our hearts.”
The clearest example of this powerful means is to be seen in many places in the detailed descriptions of the joys of prayer; they are to be read most often as struggles with languor or dryness in prayer, considering oneself, however, unworthy of these joys and confessing one’s negligence with regard to prayer.
SKETCH. – One of the great theologians puts the matter clearly, namely, St. Macarius of Egypt, in this way: “As with the planting of a vine, care and work are undertaken in order to gather the fruits, and if there are no fruits, then everything is in vain; so it is with prayer, if we carry out the fruits of the spiritual, that is, love, peace, joy, and so on, or the hope of these fruits, that is, the enjoyment of sweets in our hearts (ch. 3, chapter 5). Do you see how clearly this holy father explained the question of the necessity of enjoyment in prayer?… But another thing came to mind recently, which I read, and this is the main reason for the temptation to gambling; and therefore, the study of this nature can also serve as a powerful means to arouse diligence in prayer, the means of which the professor so eagerly searches by examining that no action can take place without a cause, and following the realm of sensations, one descends from the lower to the higher, and finally reaches the cause of God proper. Therefore, no nation, no tribe of savages has ever been without any idea of God. something stirs to something unknown… On this basis, all natural religions occur, and what is particularly surprising is that the essence or soul of every religion consists of a secret prayer, which manifests itself in some kind of movement and in the apparent concept of savages.
“Pray for each other and heal” (Jak. V, 16).
THE BUILDER. — With a pious companion, a professor, we could not overcome our mutual desire to leave for the road without coming to see you once and asking for your prayers for us…
THE PROFESSOR. — Yes, your sincerity and the saving conversations we enjoyed with you among your friends are a guarantor of fellowship and Christian love, even in a distant country where we are heading.
— Thank you for your remembrance and love, and meanwhile, how timely your arrival! I have two roving men: a Moldavian monk and a hermit who lived for twenty years in silence in the forest. They want to see you, I’ll call them…
Here they are!
THE BUILDER. — Ah, what a blessed life in the desert! And how convenient for unhindered bringing the soul to union with God! The silent forest, like the Garden of Eden, in which the sweet tree of life grows in the prayerful heart of a hermit. If I had any money for food, I would not have parted with the hermit’s life…
THE PROFESSOR. — Everything seems especially good to us from afar, and each experience assures us that every place, having its advantages, also has its drawbacks. Of course, for someone who has a melancholic temperament and a desire for solitude, solitary life is satisfying, but how many dangers there are on this path! Ascetic history contains many examples in which one can see how many hermits and hermits have deprived themselves of communication with people, and have fallen into self-deception and deep trouble.
Desert Father. – I am amazed at how often in Russia, not only in monastic monasteries, but even by some God-fearing laymen, one hears that many who desire a life of seclusion, or practice in an inner prayer activity, are deterred from following this impulse by the fear of falling into temptation. Arguing in this way, they give examples to support their conditions; why, as they shun inner life themselves, they also discourage others from it … I think this comes from two sources: either from misunderstanding the matter and lack of spiritual education, or from their own indolence toward ascetic practice and jealous envy, so as not to be surpassed by others in these higher pursuits, who are on a lower level than they. The holy fathers enter into consideration on this subject, who speak directly and resolutely, teaching that one should not fear or doubt when calling upon God. If some have fallen into delusion or the madness of reason, that is because of pride, lack of a guide and acceptance of visions and dreams as truth. If such a delusion did occur (they continue), it would lead to enlightenment and fervor; for rapid divine help intervenes in this occasion. Dare! I am with you, do not fear! says Jesus Christ. (Gr. Sin. l. f.) It follows from this that it is pointless to fear and be intimidated by inner life on the pretext of delusion: for a humble awareness of one’s sins, openness of the soul to the instructor, and “ignorance” in prayer, are a firm and secure bulwark against temptation, which so many fear, and therefore are fearful, and therefore many fear, and many so fear, and are in temptation, according to the well-tested words of St. Philotheus of Sinai, who says the following: “Many of the monks do not understand the temptation of their reason, which is experienced from demons; that is, they diligently practice only one activity (in external virtues), but do not attend to the mind, that is, to inner contemplation, do not attend to it, do not attend to it, they consider it as envy on the part of others listening to them that they have had an inner conversion, they consider that from envy, confirms St. Philotheus, the monk of Tamsa.”
Paragraph. — Although the guidance of an experienced and knowledgeable spiritual mentor, or elder, to whom one could unhinderedly open his heart, thoughts, and conversations in the path of inner teaching, and who constituted the main condition for the practice of heartfelt prayer, which is practiced in silence, parents who give this commandment represent an exception. The Monk Nicephorus clearly teaches this as follows: “In the practice of inner, heartfelt action, a true and knowledgeable mentor is necessary. If there is no such mentor, it is worth striving to find one: if you do not find one, with sorrow of heart draw on the guidance and instruction in the teachings of the Holy Scriptures.” At the same time, it is also necessary to take into consideration the fact that a sincere and diligent seeker can hear a useful and instructive word from a simple person, for the Holy Fathers also assure us that if we ask a Saracen with faith and the right intention, even he can give us a word of counsel; on the other hand, if a prophet refuses our request without faith and worthy intent, he will not satisfy us. This is evidenced by the example of the great Egyptian Makarios, who was illuminated by a simple peasant on one occasion and thus put an end to his passion. As for “blindness,” that is, to perceive or accept no light, no angel, no Christ, and no saint, and to look away from any dreams; the experienced Holy Fathers command this, of course, for the reason that the imagination can easily project or somehow bring to life images; therefore, an inexperienced person may easily become obsessed by these dreams, worship them as manifestations of grace, and fall into self-deception. At the same time, as the Holy Scripture describes, that “the devil transforms himself into an angel of light.” And the fact that the natural and reasonable mind can remain in “blindness” and maintain it even in the presence of God’s presence is seen from the fact that the power of imagination can expressively imagine something in “blindness” and maintain the imagination in the mind of objects that are not subject to the sense of sight, which do not have an external form. For example: the perception and self-perception of our soul – air, warmth, cold; while on cold, it is possible to quickly imagine warmth in the mind, even though it has no form, is not subject to sight, and cannot be measured by touching what is on the cold! Similarly, the presence of the divine and inscrutable essence of God can be imagined in the mind, and perceived in the heart in “blindness.”BUILDER. – I have also met people who are pious and who are seeking salvation and who are afraid, when remembering their former passion, to touch the inner work. Some of these I have benefited from the teachings of St. Gregory of Sinai in his work on The Practice of Love, who says that “the work of the heart cannot be magical (not in the same way as that of the mind), because even if the enemy were to make an attempt to transform the warmth of the heart into his own chaotic burning or to replace the joy of the heart with passionate pleasure, experience, time, and feeling would, of themselves, distort these conspiracies even for those who are not very devoted to the work of the heart.”The Hermit. – I think that sadness and doubtful thoughts are most easily aroused by the dispersion of the mind, rather than by keeping silent and turning inwardly upon oneself. The ancient fathers of wisdom conquered despair, and gained inner illumination and strength by hope, in quiet and solitude; and they gave us a wise and useful counsel in this matter: “Sit in your cell in silence, and it will teach you everything.”2. The beneficial and useful influence of the solitary on those around him is revealed not only in the communication of his instructive observations on the inner life, but even the example of his detached life benefits the alert layman, bringing him to self-consciousness and instilling a sense of reverence… arousing religious life, recalling what a person can be on earth, and how easily to restore a person to his original contemplative state, in which he came from the hands of the Creator. The solitary hermit by his silence teaches, uses his life, praises and convinces of the search for God… 3. The benefit shown comes from the silence of the true, enlightened and illuminated with the grace of God’s light. But if the hermit had none of these gracious gifts to be a lamp to the world, if he had entered upon the path of silence with the sole purpose of hiding himself from his fellow human beings, through his laziness and negligence and by giving a bad and seductive example, then he would have done great good and exercised a beneficial influence on society. Dry and fruitless branches, and uprooting harmful plants for the unhindered growth of better and more useful ones. And this is much, and this is the benefit that the hermit’s solitude takes away the temptation that would inevitably have arisen from his seductive life among people and would have harmed the morality of his fellows.BUILDER. – It seems that no one has so clearly appreciated the advantages of silence as St. John the Ladder: “Silence,” he says, “is the mother of prayer, the return from the domain of sin, the ineffable success in the virtues, and the inexhaustible ascent to heaven.” And Jesus Christ Himself, in order to show us the usefulness and necessity of solitary silence, often, leaving the public preaching, went to silent places for prayer and repose.
So they began to learn together, passing on to each other what they understood; the subject of study was the same. And what happened after a few days? The negligent became diligent, loved the teaching, neglect was transformed into diligence and sagacity, which had a beneficial effect on both his character and morality. And his companion, who was sly, became even more capable and hardworking. They mutually benefited from each other’s actions… This is natural, of course; for a person is born in the company of people, develops intelligent concepts through people; the customs of life, the moods of feelings, the desires of desires, in a word, he adopts the habits, actions and customs of those like himself. And since the lives of people consist of the closest relationship and powerful influence on one another, whoever lives among such people adapts to their habits, actions and customs. Therefore, a cold person can warm up, a dull – sharpen, a lazy one – be disturbed to activity with lively participation similar to himself. The spirit of the spirit can transmit itself, can have a beneficial effect on each other: attracting it to prayer, to attention, encouraging it in despair, discouraging it from sin and stimulating it to holy activity, and therefore assisting one another can become more pious, more active and more godly. One to another, pray for each other in prayer!
And from this it can be seen that God is not content with many petitions and supplications (as is the case with powerful people), but the spirit and power of prayer cleanses and awakens the soul for whom one is praying, and presents it as capable of union with God.
If such a fruitful mutual prayer is observed by those who live on earth, then it is only natural that prayer for those who have passed away is also mutually beneficial, with the closest link of the heavenly world with the earthly one; it can equally draw the souls of the victorious Church into communion; or, what is the same, with those who have passed away.
Although everything I have said is a psychological judgment; but by revealing the Holy Scriptures, we will convince ourselves of the truth of it! .. 1) so says Jesus Christ to the Apostle Peter: “Pray for you, that your faith may not fail.” Here the power of Christ’s prayer strengthens Peter’s spirit and encourages him against the temptation of faith. 2) When the Apostle Peter was in prison: prayer was diligent in the church for him. Here is the help of fraternal prayer in sad circumstances of life… 3) But the clearest commandment on prayer for one’s neighbor is expressed by the Holy Apostle James as follows: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. For many will be helped by the prayer of a righteous person quickly.” Here the above-mentioned psychological conclusion is clearly confirmed…
– What about the example of the Apostle Paul, given to us as an example of prayer for one another? One writer observes that this example of St. Paul should teach us how necessary it is to pray for one another, when even this holy and strong spiritual ascetic recognises the need for this spiritual prayer in order to help. In his letter to the Hebrews, he makes this request: pray for us, for we are relying on the good conscience of the Lord in all who desires to live well. By listening to this, how unreasonable would it be to rely only on one’s own prayers and successes, when a humble and purely beneficent holy man asks for the prayer of others (the Hebrews) to be joined to his own? And therefore, with what humility, simplicity, and union of love, should we not reject nor despise the prayer of even the most powerful of believers, when the discerning spirit of St. Paul does not make distinctions in this case; but asks for the joint prayer of all, knowing that the power of God is manifested in weakness; therefore it can sometimes be accomplished in weak, perhaps praying souls.
– Having convinced ourselves by this example, let us note one more thing: prayer for one another sustains the union of Christian love commanded by God, it testifies to the humility and spirit of the one who prays, and it ignites a mutual prayer.
PROFESSOR. – Your beautiful and accurate explanations and arguments are excellent, but it would be interesting to hear from you what is the form or way of praying for others, for I think that if the fruitfulness and effectivity of prayer depends on the living involvement of the neighbor and on the constant influence of the spirit that prays on the one asking for help, it will not be enough to bring your neighbor to mind, even just once or twice a day, and ask for the help of God for him. In other words: one wants to know how to pray for others.
MONK. – Prayer, no matter what for, which is offered to God, must not, and cannot, take us out of God’s presence, since if it is poured out to God, it is, of course, in His presence… As for the manner of praying for our neighbor, one must notice that the power of this prayer lies in sincere Christian involvement. Therefore, at the time of recalling him or in the hour set for this purpose, we should direct our intellectual gaze to God to offer prayer in the following form: Gracious Lord, may Thy will be done, which wants all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth: save and have mercy upon Thy servant (such and such). Accept this my desire as a cry of love, commanded by Thee.
These words are usually repeated during the movements of the soul, or they are chanted while handling the strands – with this prayer. I have learned from experience how beneficial such prayers are for the person being addressed.
Professor. –
My good advice and bright thoughts, obtained from your views and reflections, oblige me to keep them in my unforgettable memory, and to respect and thank all of you with all my gratitude in my heart….
So, the time for our departure has come. With all respect, we ask for your prayers while we bid farewell and say goodbye.