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Description of the first story

The beginning of my travels and the search for ceaseless prayer

            Through the grace of God, I am a Christian, a great sinner in deeds, by profession a wanderer without a home, of the lowest class, wandering from place to place. My abode is as follows: a sack of bread bag on my shoulders, and a Holy Bible in my breast; that is all. On the 24th week after the day of Trinity, I came to the church for lunch to pray; the Apostle was reading from to the Sullivans, beginning 273, in which it says: pray without ceasing. This passage struck me especially, and I began to think about how one can pray ceaselessly when every person needs to take up other duties to sustain his life. I looked in the Bible, and there I saw with my own eyes what I had heard, namely that we should pray constantly, pray at all times with our spirit, , putting on prayerful hands in all places. I thought and thought, not knowing how to solve the problem.

            What should I do, I thought, how can I find someone who can explain it to me? I’ll go around churches where good preachers are celebrated, maybe I’ll hear something that’s meant for me. And I walked. I heard many good sermons about prayer. But they were all about prayer in general; what prayer is; how one should pray; the fruits of prayer; but no one spoke about how to achieve success in prayer. There was a sermon about prayer with the Spirit and about unceasing prayer; but there was no indication of how to achieve this kind of prayer. So listening to sermons did not bring me what I wanted. Why, after hearing them and not understanding how to pray unceasingly, did I no longer listen to public sermons, but sought with God’s help to find an experienced and knowledgeable companion who would explain to me about unceasing prayer, motivated by my unceasing desire for this understanding?

            I wandered around for a long time, reading the Bible, and asking whether there was no one in this place who was a spiritual instructor, or a god-fearing, experienced guide? Sometimes they told me that in this village there was a gentleman who had lived there for a long time, who was pious and prayed to God, and who read spiritual books unceasingly. Hearing this, I no longer walked, but ran to the village where this was said, reached it, and arrived at the landowner’s house.

             He asked me, “What do you want?”

            I felt that he was a kind and intelligent person, and I asked him for God’s sake, please, explain to me what is meant by the saying of the Apostle: “Pray unceasingly,” and how it is possible to pray unceasingly? I want to know this, but I cannot understand it myself.

            The gentleman paused, looked at me intently, and said, “Continuous interior prayer is the continuous striving of the human spirit toward God. In order to succeed in this sweet practice, we must often ask the Lord to teach us how to pray unceasingly. Pray more and more zealously, and prayer itself will reveal to you how it is possible to be unceasing; this requires your own time.

            After saying this, he ordered me to feed me, gave me money for the road, and let me go. And he didn’t explain anything more to me.

            I walked around again, thought, read, pondered on what the gentleman had told me, and I couldn’t understand it; but I wanted to understand it very much, so sleep would elude me at night. I walked two hundred paces and then entered a large provincial town. I saw a monastery there. Stopping on the town square, I heard that the abbot in this monastery was good, god-fearing, and wonderful. I went to him. He welcomed me kindly, seated me, and began to treat me to food.

The holy Father, I said.

Well, how can I escape? I live according to the commandments and pray to God, and then I will be saved!

I hear that I must pray constantly, but I do not know how to pray constantly, and I cannot even understand what constant prayer means. I beg you, my father, to explain it to me.

I do not know, beloved brother, how else to explain to you. Wait a moment, I have a book here, it is explained there; and Father Demetrius gives spiritual instruction on the inner man. So read this page.

I started reading the following: “In the Apostolic words: pray unceasingly – we must understand that concentrated, intelligent prayer: the mind can always be in God and pray unceasingly.”

Explain to me how the mind can always be in God, not be distracted, and pray unceasingly.

This is very strange, is it possible for God to give someone the ability to do this, the abbot said. And he did not explain.

After spending the night at his place and offering our thanks on the morning for the kind welcome, I continued my journey, not knowing where I was going. I was grieving over my lack of understanding, but for comfort I read the Holy Bible. I walked like this for about a week on a long road; finally, in the evening, an old man caught up with me, who looked like a monk.

When I asked him, he said that he was a hermit from a desert, 10 versts from the main road in that direction, and he invited me to come with him to their desert. We have pilgrims here, he said, who are welcomed, comforted and fed together with the monks in the hostel.

I did not want to go inside, and I answered his invitation like this: my peace does not depend on the room, but on spiritual guidance. I am not seeking food, I have plenty of breadcrumbs in my backpack.

Brother! What kind of teachings are you looking for and what are you surprised about? Please, come in to us, dear brother; we have experienced old men here who can give spiritual instruction and guide us on the right path, with the light of God’s word and the reasoning of our holy fathers.

Meeting with the Elder and the First Lessons of Prayer

Here you see, father, that about a year ago, when I was at midday, I heard such an injunction in the Apostle: without ceasing pray. Not understanding this, I began to read the Bible. And there, too, in many places, I found the command of God that we must constantly pray, always, at any time, in every place, not only during business, but even in our sleep. I sleep, and my heart is watchful. This was very confusing to me, and I couldn’t understand how this could be done and what methods for this. A strong desire and curiosity aroused in me, and day and night I couldn’t figure it out correctly. So I began to go to churches to listen to sermons on prayer; but no matter how many I heard, in none of them did I receive instructions on how to constantly pray; everything was about preparing for prayer or its fruits, and so on, not teaching how to pray constantly and what that prayer means. I often read the Bible and tested what I heard by it; but while doing so, I didn’t find the desired knowledge. And so I remained in wonder and concern.

Staritsky crossed himself and began to speak: “Thank God, dear brother, for this revelation! You have an invincible inclination toward the knowledge of constant interior prayer. Learn the divine essence in this title and be calm, confident that up to this point you have been tested for the harmony of your will with the voice of God, and it has been made clear that heavenly light, constant interior prayer, is not achieved by the wisdom of this world and by external curiosity, but, rather, by the simplicity of the heart. And therefore, it comes as no surprise that you could not hear about the essential matter of prayer and learn the science of how to achieve its constant action. To be honest, though many preach about prayer, and many authors give instructions on it, most of their reasoning is based mainly on reason, on the reasoning of natural reason, and not on actual experience, so they teach more about the nature of prayer than the essence of it. One marvelously discusses the necessity of prayer; another – its power and its benefits: a third – the means for perfecting prayer, that is, to say that prayer requires effort, attention, warmth of heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and so on. What is prayer? And how can one learn to pray? – On these, though the most fundamental and most necessary issues, it is very rare for preachers of our time to give detailed explanations; therefore, their reasoning on all the above is more complicated to understand and requires a secret conduct, not just of scholastic science. What a pity that nonsensical, natural wisdom leads to measuring God by human measures! Many people reason about prayer in a completely distorted manner, thinking that preparations and ascetic practices create prayer, not prayer that produces asceticism and all the virtues. In this case, they take the fruit or consequences of prayer incorrectly as the means and methods for it, thereby belittling the power of prayer. And this is downright offensive to sacred Scripture: for the Apostle Paul offers instruction on prayer in the following words: “I ask that, above all things, I may have a mind in the making of prayers.”Then he began to hear – I read, how we can learn continuous interior prayer. He explained The Good Conqueror of All Evils, found instructions from St. Simeon the New Theologian and began: “Sit without speaking and be alone, bow your head, close your eyes; breathe softly, visualize your heart; withdraw the mind, that is, put the thought from the head into the heart. As you breathe, say: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Remove your thoughts, have patience and frequently repeat this exercise.’

Then the old man explained all this to me, showed an example of it, and we also read from The Good Conqueror of All Evils by St. Gregory of Sinai; and St. Calistus, Patriarch of Jerusalem, and Ignatius. Whatever we read in The Good Conqueror of All Evils, the old man explained to me, and expressed it with his own words. I listened with excitement, memorized everything, and tried to remember as much as possible. Thus we sat up all night and, without sleeping, went to the morning.

            The old man sent me away, blessing me, and telling me to come to him with sincere confession and revelation, because, without the trust of an instructor, it is inconvenient and unsuccessful to take up internal practice on one’s own.

            Standing in church, I felt a fire of resolve to learn interior unceasing prayer as much as possible, and prayed to God to help me. Then I wondered how I would go to the old man for advice or to confess, since the inn will not allow three days and there are no apartments near the wilderness? Finally, I heard that four versts were a village. I went there to look for a place to stay, and to my great happiness, God showed me a convenient place. I hired myself out for the whole summer to a farmer to guard the farm, so that I could live in the barn on this farm alone. Thank God! – I found a peaceful place. And so I began to live and learn, following the method the old man had shown me, how to practice interior prayer, and to go to the old man.

            I diligently studied how to practice unceasing prayer alone in the farm for a week, just as the old man had explained to me. At first it seemed to go well. Then I felt a great burden, laziness, boredom, overwhelming sleep, and various thoughts came to me like a cloud. With grief I went to the old man and told him about my situation. He, having met me with love, began to say: “This, my dear brother, is a battle against you by the dark world, for whom nothing is so frightening as heartfelt prayer, and that is why it attempts to hinder you and turn you away from studying prayer. But the enemy acts not otherwise than by the will of God and by His providence, as much as is necessary for us. It is clear that you still need a test for humility; and therefore, being too zealous to approach the higher door of the heart, you risk falling into a kind of spiritual selfishness.”

In the following way, I will tell you about this case of instruction from The Church of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. The elder found a teaching of St. Nikon the Monk and began to read: “If after working hard you cannot enter the heavenly country as you have been told, then do as I tell you, and through the help of God you will find what you seek. You know that the power of speech is in each person in the throat. If you want and give yourself to speak constantly this: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!”

This is what you hear, the holy fathers are instructing in this case, the elder said. Therefore, you must now accept this commandment with confidence, doing the Lord’s Prayer as often as possible. Here are the chants by which you will do at least three thousand prayers a day for the first time. Whether standing, sitting, walking, or lying down, constantly say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, not loudly and not hastily; and make sure to do exactly three thousand a day, without inadvertently adding or subtracting. God will help you through this to achieve long-lasting inner activity.

I happily accepted this command and went to my place. I began to perform it correctly and exactly as the elder had taught me. For two days I had a hard time, but then it became so easy and desirable that when I did not pray, I felt an urge to pray the Lord’s Prayer again, and it began to come more naturally and easily, not as it used to be with much effort.

I declared this to the elder, and he commanded me to perform six thousand prayers a day, saying: “Be calm and only try your best to fulfill the number of prayers prescribed for you: God will have mercy on you.”

For a whole week I was in my solitary cell, going through six thousand Lord’s prayers every day, not worrying about anything and not paying attention to any thoughts, no matter how they might fight; only worrying about fulfilling the elder’s command unambiguously, and what happened? – I became so accustomed to praying that when I stopped praying for even a short time, I felt as if I was missing something, as if I had lost something; I began to pray, and at the same moment it became easy and joyful again. When I met someone, I no longer wanted to speak and everything wanted to be alone, to pray; I became accustomed to it for a week.

I began to do as the old man had instructed me, and on the first day I barely managed to finish my twelve thousand prayers late in the evening. On the second day I did it easily and with pleasure. At first, in the continuous recitation of prayers, I felt fatigue, or as if my tongue was becoming numb and there was a heaviness in my jaws, but then I felt a slight pain in the big finger of my left hand, which was holding the pens, and this produced a pleasant sensation. At the same time, all this seemed to stimulate and encourage me to make more prayers. So for five days I faithfully recited twelve thousand prayers, and along with the habit, I gained pleasure and delight. One morning early on, as if the prayer had woken me up. I began to recite the morning prayers, but my tongue did not speak them fluently, and all my desire spontaneously prompted me to recite the Jesus prayer. And when I began it, it became easy, pleasant, and my tongue and mouth seemed to speak it without my control! I spent the whole day in joy and seemed to be detached from everything else, as if I were on another earth, and I easily finished the twelve thousand prayers in the early evening. I wanted to continue reciting the prayer, but I did not dare to do so anymore. So on other days I continued to call on the name of Jesus Christ with ease and a desire to do so.

            Then he went to the elder for a revelation and told him in detail. He, after listening, began to say: “Glory be to God that the lust for hunting and the ease of prayer have been revealed in you. This is a matter of nature, that comes from frequent exercise and asceticism, like a machine whose main wheel has been given a push or a start, and which has been working for a long time on its own; and in order to continue its movement, this wheel must be lubricated and pushed.” Do you see how wonderful abilities God has provided even for the sensual nature of man, which can be felt outside of grace and in an unexcelled sensuality and in a sinful soul, as you yourself have experienced? And how wonderful, wonderful and joyful it is when the Lord graciously opens the gift of spontaneous spiritual prayer and purifies the soul from passions! This state is not imaginary, and the revelation of this prayerful mystery is a premonition of the sweetness of the heavenly earth. This condition will please those who seek the Lord in the simplicity of a loving heart! Now I allow you: do your prayer as much as you like, devote all your time to prayer, and without hesitation call on the name of Jesus Christ! Let your heart humble itself before the will of God and wait for His help: I believe that He will not abandon you and will guide your path.

            Having received this instruction, I spent the entire summer in unceasing mental prayer to Jesus, and I was very at peace. In my dreams, I often dreamed of doing prayer. And on the day that I happened to meet someone, all those people seemed to me to be so loving, as if they were relatives, though I did not spend time with them. Thoughts completely subsided, and I did not think about anything except prayer, to which my mind began to incline, and my heart of its own accord began to feel warmth and some pleasant sensation. When it happened that I had to go to church, the long, empty service seemed short, and it was no longer tiring for the forces, as before. My separate cabin seemed to me like a wonderful temple, and I did not know how to thank God for sending such a savior and a guide to me, such an accursed sinner.

The Death of the Elder and the Beginning of a Self-Continuous Path

            But I did not enjoy the instructions of my loving and wise elder for long, at the end of the summer he died. I, with tears, said goodbye to him, thanked him for his fatherly teaching of me, the sinful one, asked for a mantle from him after his death for the sake of blessing, and I was left alone. Finally, the summer passed, and the city was cleaned. I had nowhere to live. The man took me into care, gave me two sparrows for a guard, and heaped a sack of breadcrumbs for the road, and I went wandering from place to place again; but I was not walking as before with necessity; the calling of the name of Jesus Christ always cheered me on the road, and people in general became kinder to me, it seemed as if everyone loved me.

One day I began to think about where to spend the money I had received for guarding the city, and what would I do with it? E! Stop! There is no old man now, there is no one to teach; I will buy Bontoplyubye, and I will learn from it to pray inwardly. I crossed myself and went on my way with prayer. I reached a provincial town and began to bargain for “Bontoplyubye”; I found it in one place, but they asked for three talers, and I only had two; I bargained, bargained, but the merchant did not give in at all; finally he said: “Go to this church, ask the church elder; he has an old book, maybe he will give it to you for two talers.” I went and really bought Bontoplyubye for two talers, all crumpled and old; I was satisfied. I gently repaired it, covered it with a cloth and put it in my bag with my Bible.

Travel through Siberia and the story of the captain

I wandered long in various places with the companion prayer of Jesus, which encouraged and comforted me in every way, at every encounter and in every situation. Finally, I felt that it would be better to stay in one place, both for convenient solitude and for studying Love of Godliness, which I had read little by little, resting at nightfalls or during the day. However, there was a strong desire to immerse myself in it, and with faith to draw from it the true teaching for salvation of the soul through heart prayer. But, according to this desire, I could not find a job anywhere, not even in any possible work, because I could not make a sign with my left hand since infancy; and so, being unable to find a permanent abode, I went to the lands of Siberia, to Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, with the intention of going through the forests and steppes of Siberia in silence, so that it would be easier to pray and read. So I went, and constantly performed oral prayer. After a short time, I began to feel that prayer itself gradually moved into my heart, that is, the heart, with its usual pounding, began as if to speak its own prayer words with each beat, for example: 1) Lord, 2) Jesus, 3) Christ, and others. I stopped saying the prayer out loud, and began to listen carefully to what the heart was saying; remembering, as the late elder explained to me, how pleasant it was. Then I began to feel a slight pain in my heart, and in my thoughts such love for Jesus Christ that it seemed that if I saw Him, I would run to His feet and not let go of them, licking them sweetly, to tears, but thanks to the fact that He gives such a delightful name of Himself, He is kind.З гріхів чи то окаянної душі моєї, чи то за потребою в духовному житті, чи кращим наставленням і досвідченістю, під кінець літа почали з’являтися спокуси. А саме: вийшов я на велику дорогу, у сутінку мене нагнали дві людини, схожі з голів на солдатів; почали вимагати грошей. Коли я сказала, що не маю жодної копійки, вони цьому не вірили і зухвало кричали: “Брешеш! Мандрівники багато набирають грошей!” Один із них сказав: “Та що з ним багато говорити”, ударив мене кийком по голові так, що я впав без [пом’яту]. Не знаю, чи довго я лежав непритомний; але, прокинувшись, побачив, що я лежу біля лісу біля дороги весь розсмикнутий і сумки моєї немає; тільки перерізані мотузки, на яких вона була несена. Слава Богу, що не забрали паспорт, який лежав у старій моїй шапці, на випадок якнайшвидшого свідчення, де вимагають. Вставши, я гірко заплакав, не стільки від головного болю, скільки про те, що позбавили моїх книжок, Библії та Добротолюбства, які лежали в сумці. Ні денга, ні ночі я не переставав журитися і плакати. Де тепер моя Біблія, яку я змалку читав і завжди мав при собі? Де моє Добротолюбство, з якого я почерпав і уїнчення, і утіху? Я позбавився, нещасний, і першого, і останнього скарбу у своєму житті, ще не наситившись тим. Краще б мене зовсім убили, ніж жити мені без цієї духовної їжі! Тепер я вже не можу придбати їх!

            Suddenly, I met the column of prisoners led by a convoy. Comparing them to myself, I saw two people who had robbed me and, since they were walking on the other side, I fell at their feet and pleaded with them to tell me where my books were? At first, they ignored me, and then one of them began to say: if you give us anything, we will tell you where your books are. Give us the whole thing. I promised that I would give it, I would give it, even for the sake of Christ, if necessary, to ask around the world; here, if you want, take my passport as a pledge. They said that my books were in the convoy with other stolen items. How can I get them? Ask the captain who is escorting us. I ran up to the captain and explained everything in detail. By the way, he asked me: can you read the Bible? Not only can I read it, but I can also write it: you will see an inscription on the Bible that it is mine. And my passport also states the same name and surname. The captain began to say: These are shady runaway soldiers; they lived in a dugout and robbed many people. They were caught yesterday by a clever field hand, whose efforts they wanted to remove a ruble. Apparently, I will give you your books when they are here; but go with us to camp; here, four hundred yards away, but the column and the convoy will not stop there for you. I felt very happy by the main captain’s horse and talked with him. I saw that he was a good and honest man, and not a young man. He asked me who I was, where I was going and what I was doing. I answered him all the truth, and so we reached the camp house. He found my books and gave them to me, and said: Where do you go now at night, stay with me in the hallway. I stayed there.

            When I received the books, I was so happy that I did not know how to thank God; I held the books close to my chest and kept them until my hands were stiffened. Tears filled my eyes with joy, and my heart was beating with emotion!

            The captain, looking at me, asked: Apparently, you love to read the Bible. I could not answer him out of joy, but only cried. He continued: I, Brother, carefully read the Gospel every day. At the same time, he rolled up his uniform and took out a small Gospel printed in Kiev with silver edging. Sit down, I will tell you what led me to this. Let’s have some dinner!

We sat down at a table, the captain began to tell me: I had served in the army since my youth, not in the garrison; I knew the service and loved authority as a dashing captain. But the years were young, my friends were also young; I also had a habit of drinking, but by the end I was so addicted that a serious illness broke out; when I wasn’t drinking, I was a proper officer, but when I was smoking, I was in bed for six weeks. They tolerated me for a long time, and finally, because of my boss’s rudeness, made in a terrible form, they transferred me to the soldiers for three years, with a move to the garrison; and if I didn’t correct myself and didn’t give up drinking, they threatened me with the strictest penalties. In this unhappy state, no matter how hard I tried to abstain and how much I tried to recover from it, I couldn’t get rid of my addiction, and that’s why they wanted to transfer me to the prison companies. After hearing this, I didn’t know what to do.When I heard this, I said to him: What can I do to help your Gospel, if no efforts of mine nor medical advice could keep me? I said this because I had never read the Gospels. Do not say that, the monk replied, I assure you that it will be of use. The next day the monk brought me this Gospel. I opened it, looked at it, read it, and said: I will not take this Gospel; there is nothing in it that you will not understand; and I am not used to reading the ecclesiastical seal. The monk continued to persuade me that there is a grace-filled power in the words of the Gospel; for it says that God Himself spoke these words. It does not matter what you do not understand; only read carefully. A holy man said: if you do not understand the Word of God, then the demons understand what you are reading and tremble; for the passion for drunkenness is unmistakably aroused by the demons. However, I will tell you this: John the Golden-Mouthed writes that even the church in which the Gospel is kept frightens the spirits of the pit and becomes vulnerable to their undertakings. I do not remember, something I gave to that monk, took this Gospel from him, and put it in a box with my other belongings and forgot about it. After a while it came time for me to ask for death, and I hurriedly unlocked the box to get money and ran to the tavern. The first thing I saw was the Gospel, and I quickly remembered all that the monk had told me, opened it, and began reading Matthew’s first chapter. When I read it to the end, I did not understand anything; and I remembered that the monk had said: there is no need to not understand; only read carefully. Let me read the second chapter; as soon as I started it, there was a knock on the door: to the barracks to the beds. So I could not leave the gate; and I stayed there.

            When I got up in the morning and prepared to go for wine, I thought: I will read a chapter from the Gospel; what will happen? I read and did not go. I wanted wine again; I started reading and my strength came back. This encouraged me; and at every prompting to drink, I started reading from the Gospel. The more I did, the easier it became; until, when I finished all four Evangelists, the passion for drinking had completely passed, and it became a disgrace. Thus, for twenty years now, I have not used any intoxicating drink.

            Everyone was amazed at this change: three years later, they made me an officer again, and then into other ranks, and finally made me a commander. I married, and the wife turned out to be good; we accumulated wealth, and now, thank God, we live, and help the poor, by the power of urination, we accept incredible things. My son is now an officer and a handsome fellow.Listen, from the moment I was cured of my drunkenness, I made a vow to read the Gospel, and the entire Gospel, every day for the rest of my life; despite any obstacles. And I do this now. If I am very busy at work and very tired, then at night, lying down, I force my wife or my son to read to me the whole Gospel, and we persistently follow this rule. To thank and to God’s glory, I had this Gospel carved in pure silver, and I always wear it on my chest.

After walking for one day and one night, I remembered that I had promised the soldiers a whole amount of money, which I suddenly now had. Should I give it to them or not? One thought told me: they beat me and robbed me, and it is not possible for them to use it for their own benefit, because they are in custody. Another thought imagined something else: remember what is written in the Bible: “If your enemy desires, let him kill you.”. After making sure, I returned, and as soon as I approached the tent, they dragged out all the pigeons in order to drive them to the next station; I quickly ran up, put the former whole amount in my hands, and said: “Run and pray: Jesus Christ is merciful, He will not leave you!” And with that I turned away from them and went in another direction along my path.

We walked 50 miles along a major road, and I decided to divert to a forest path in order to have more privacy and be able to read comfortably. I walked through the forests for a long time, occasionally coming across small villages. Sometimes I spent the whole day in the forest, diligently reading The Good Love; I gained many surprising insights from it. My heart was burning with the desire to unite with God, through internal prayer, which I sought to learn, under the guidance and verification of The Good Love; and along with this, I felt sadness that I could not find a refuge where I could read in peace.

At the same time, I was also reading my Bible and felt that I began to understand it more clearly, not as I once did, when so much seemed incomprehensible to me, and I often felt surprised. The holy fathers rightly say that The Good Love is the key to unlocking the mysteries in the Holy Scriptures. Under its guidance, I began to understand the hidden meanings of the Word of God; I began to see what an inner secret of man’s heart is, what true prayer is, what worship is by the Spirit, what a kingdom is within us, what a silent cry of the Holy Spirit is, what it means to “be in me,” to “give me your heart,” what it means to “dress yourself in Christ,” what it means to “bind the Spirit in our hearts”: Father and others and others. When I began to pray with my heart like this, everything around me appeared to me in a wonderful form: trees, grass, birds, the earth, the air, light, everything seemed to be telling me that they exist for man, they testify to God’s love for man, and everything prays, everything praises the glory of God. And I understood from this what is called “the conduct of words of creatures” in The Good Love and saw the way in which one can communicate with God’s creatures.

“A long time ago I wandered in this way. Finally I came to such a remote place that no village appeared for three days. All my food was gone, and I was very upset at the thought of starving to death. When I started praying with all my heart, the despair passed away, and I put myself completely in God’s hands, and became joyful and peaceful. When I walked along the path near a huge wood, I saw a dog of the yard watcher coming out of the wood; I attracted it and it came close to me to lick my feet. I was so happy and thought: here is God’s grace! Perhaps there is a flock in this wood, and, of course, this is a cowherd’s watchdog or a hunter might be hunting somewhere; one way or another, I can at least get some bread, because I haven’t eaten anything for two days, or I can ask where the nearest settlement is. Turning back to me, the dog again went into the wood along the narrow path by which it had come to the road. I followed it; after walking a hundred steps, between the trees, I saw that the dog had gone into a hole from which it started to growl.“I was the last man in my village,” he said, “and I had a trade, I dyed kumach, but I didn’t have enough of the colour, and I lived in wealth, though not without sin: I cheated in business, I took bribes; I cursed and got drunk and fought. There used to be an old uncle in our village who had an old, ancient book about the terrible judgment. He used to go to the Orthodox services and read, and people used to give him money for that; he used to come to me as well. Sometimes he would get a few tenkoes, and all the way up to a kopeika. That’s when I used to listen, sitting at work, as he read about the torments we would suffer in hell, about the transformation of the living and the resurrection of the dead, about God coming to judge, about the angels blowing their trumpets, and what kind of fire, what kind of pitch, and how sinners would eat. Once, when I was listening to this, I got scared, I thought: I cannot escape torment! Let me repent, perhaps God will forgive my sins. I thought about it and gave up my trade, sold my house and, as I was alone, went to salt mines in order to earn my living selling bread, clothing and candles to the owners.”

While all this was going on, I regretted him and thought to myself: people say that some learned and intelligent experts are “Free Thinkers” and don’t believe in anything, so our elders are also simple people who are bringing on disbelief! Apparently, the dark world has been given access to everyone, and we, the simple folk, may be attacked or knocked down more easily. How hard one can try and strengthen oneself against the enemy with the Word of God. So, in order to help and support the faith of this brother, I got the book Blessed Love from my bag, found Abba Isaac’s chapter, read it, and began to explain to him that guarding against sins, fear of torment, is unsuccessful and barren, and it is not possible to free the soul from imaginary sins nor to keep away from thoughts sins. Therefore, all this is acquired through inner prayer, and not only through fear of hellish torment, but even by wanting for the sake of the kingdom of heaven

    No one will understand the content of and the joy of such fervent and unceasing prayer which some have discovered. They say that fear of torment is the way of a servant, and desire for the rewards of the kingdom is the way of a hired hand. But God is here, God wants us to go to Him the way of sons, that is to say, to behave with integrity out of love and diligence and to enjoy unceasing union with Him in our hearts and our minds.

        However hard you may try – however much you want to perform bodily labors and various exertions – and however hard you try, you will never be able to calm down from horrible thoughts, and you will always be prone to sin, even in the slightest of cases. So, brother, take upon yourself to constantly perform the Jesus Prayer. This is indeed within your reach and is comfortable for you in this solitude. You will soon see the benefit. The evil thoughts will cease to come; your faith and love for Jesus Christ will be revealed; you will learn how the dead will rise; and the terrifying Judgement Day will appear to you just as it is in reality. And you will experience such ease and joy from the Jesus Prayer that you will be surprised at how it is affecting your life and that you won’t feel bored and entangled in a life-saving struggle anymore.

The Practice of Jesus Prayer in Isolation

My God! what a joy, peace and delight I felt as soon as I crossed the threshold of this cave, or rather, of the tomb; it seemed to me a magnificent royal chamber, full of all kinds of pleasure and fun. With joyful tears, I thanked God, and I reflected: here now, in such peace and silence, I must carefully engage in my work and ask the Lord for enlightenment. So I began, first of all, to read The Good-love Passion, from beginning to end, with great attention. I read it in a short time, and saw how wise, holy, and profound it is. But because it contains many different subjects, dealt with by the holy fathers in various ways, I could not understand everything and put all that I wanted to know in particular about inner prayer, so that I could learn the method of continuous automatic prayer in the heart. This was what I wanted, in accordance with the Divine command given through the Apostle: “Desire the gift of the Spirit.”

1) First of all, read the book Nikyfor of monasticism (in two parts); then 2) Grigory Sainiat’s entire book, except for the short paragraphs; 3) Symeon the New Theologian on the three images of prayer and the word on faith; and following this, 4) the book of Calist and Ignatius. These fathers contain a complete teaching and doctrine on the prayer of the heart, understandable to everyone.

And if you wish to see a clearer instruction on prayer, then find the image of prayer at 4 o’clock by the Holy Patriarch Calist of Constantinople. I, as if holding my Goodness of Love in my hands, began to search for the instruction spoken, but could not find it soon. The old man himself, turning over several sheets, said: “Here it is! I will point it out to you, and lifting charcoal from the ground, he underlined it in the text of the book, opposite the article found.” Everything that the old man said, I listened carefully and tried to remember as clearly and as accurately as possible.

I woke up and, while it was still dark, I lay down and repeated in my mind everything I had seen in my dream and what the old man said to me. Finally, I began to wonder: “God knows whether the soul of the deceased old man is to me, or whether my own thoughts are so arranged, because I often and much think about The Goodness of Love and the old man?” With this wonder, I got up, it was beginning to lighten. And what? I saw the Goodness of Love on the stone that had been in place of the table in my hut, folded at the same place that the old man had indicated to me, and underlined with charcoal, exactly as I had seen in my dream, even the charcoal itself lay by the book. This surprised me, because I firmly remember that there were no books there from the evening; it was folded and lay in my head, and I also remember accurately that there had not been any note at the indicated place before. This incident convinced me of the reality of the dream and of the godly memory of my old man. That is how I began to read the Goodness of Love, in the same order as the old man had indicated to me. I read it once, read the same thing again, and this reading kindled my passion and diligence to try everything read in practice. It became clear to me and I clearly saw what inner prayer means, what means to its attainment, and what happens from it, and how it enjoys the soul and the heart, and how to recognize this pleasure, whether it comes from God, or from our being, or from beauty.

Therefore, first of all, I began to seek the heart’s place, according to the instructions of Saint Simeon the New Theologian. I closed my eyes, looked with reason, that is, with the imagination, in my heart, desiring to imagine what it is like in the left half of my chest, and listened attentively to its beating. At first I occupied myself for half an hour, several times a day; at first I noticed nothing except darkness; then, soon, the heart began to appear and indicate movement in it; then I began to insert and remove the prayer of Jesus together with the breath into the heart, according to the instructions of St. Gregory the Silent, Callistus, and Ignatius, that is, by inhaling air and with mental contemplation in the heart, I imagined and said: Lord Jesus Christ, and with exhaling from myself, I said: have mercy. At first I engaged in this for an hour, and then for two, then the more I practiced, the more often I did so, and finally I spent almost the whole day in this exercise. When I was overcome by fatigue or laziness or doubt, I immediately began to read in the Dormition of the Theotokos the places that teach about the heart’s action, and the passion and zeal for prayer returned. After three weeks, I began to feel pain in my heart, and then some pleasant warmth in it, comfort and calm. This stimulated and encouraged me to exercise my prayer with greater and greater zeal, so that all my thoughts were occupied with it and I experienced great joy. From that time on, I began to feel different moods in my heart and mind. Sometimes it seemed as if my heart was joyfully boiling, there was such a lightness, freedom and delight in it that I was completely transformed and delighted. Sometimes I felt a burning love for Jesus Christ and for all of God’s creation. Sometimes there came tears of gratitude to the Lord who had favored me, a wretched sinner. Sometimes my old foolish concept was so clearly realized that I easily understood and reflected on things I could not even imagine before. Sometimes the sweet warmth of the heart flowed throughout my being and I felt the presence of God all over me. Sometimes I experienced the greatest joy from the calling of the name of Jesus Christ, and I realized what he meant when he said: The kingdom of God is within you.

Months passed, and I spent alone in this prayer activity, enjoying the feelings mentioned above, and I became so accustomed to the heart prayer that I practiced it continuously, and eventually felt that prayer was already being produced and uttered in my mind and heart without any impetus from my side; it was even operating in my dreams, just as it was in my waking life, and was never interrupted, no matter what I did. My soul thanked God, and my heart was constantly in a state of joy. The time for felling the forest had come, people began to leave, and I had to leave my silent abode. Saying thank you to the forester, I prayed, kissed the piece of land that God had chosen me, despite my unworthiness, packed my bag with books, and left. I wandered around various places for a long time until I reached Irkutsk. Heartfelt, self-acting prayer was a comfort and consolation along the way, at every meeting, it never ceased to delight me, even if in different degrees, wherever I was, whatever I was doing or engaged in, it never interfered with me nor became less intense. If I was working, the prayer continued on its own in my heart and the work went faster; if I was listening carefully or reading, the prayer never stopped, and I felt both the one and the other at the same time, as if I were split into two bodies or in two separate minds. My God! How mysterious man is!

      Zvelichsya dilya Tvoя Gospodi: vsya premudrosti skryvalsya Ty! . There were many wonderful events and incidents on my way. If I were to tell them all, it would take a day. But here, for example, one winter evening, I was walking through a wood to spend the night in a village that was already two versts away. Suddenly, a large wolf attacked and rushed at me. I had some woollen cords in my hands (I always had them with me). Then I batted the wolf with these cords. And what happened? The cords escaped from my hands and got caught right behind the wolf’s neck. The wolf fled from me and, jumping over a hawthorn bush, got tangled up in a bush with its hind legs, and got caught by the cords of a dry tree branch, and it started to struggle; but it was inconvenient for him to get rid of them, because the cords pulled his neck. I made the Sign of the Cross with faith and started to try to free the wolf; moreover, I thought that if it broke the cords and ran away with them, then my precious cords would be lost. As soon as I approached and took hold of the cords, the wolf really broke them and ran away. So I, thanking God and remembering my blessed elder, safely reached the village; I went to a hostel and asked to spend the night there. I entered the house. In the front room, sitting at the table, were two men, one an old man, the other a middle-aged, stout man, who looked like he was not an ordinary person. They were eating tea. I asked the man who was at their horse what they were like. He told me that the old man was a teacher at the folk school, and the other was a clerk at the district court: both were noblemen. I was taking them to a market fair, twenty verst from here. After sitting for a while, I asked the old woman for a needle and thread, went up to the candle, and started sewing the torn cords. The clerk looked at it and said: “You must have prayed hard, that you broke the cords too!” (laughing). I told them everything in detail, how it had happened, and how precious these cords were to me. The clerk laughed again and began to say: “You have always got miracles, ignorant people! What is so holy about it? You simply hit him with a stick, and the wolf was frightened and ran away; for both dogs and wolves are afraid of sticks, and to get tangled in a forest is not unusual; there are many things in the world that one believes must be miracles? Hearing this, the teacher began to talk to him: “Don’t be so uninformed, good man! I don’t know the scientific part of it… And I can see by the narrative of this peasant the mystery of nature and the sensual and spiritual part… How can this be? – asked the clerk. And here you see: you may not have any further education, but you obviously chose to learn the brief sacred history of the Old and New Testament, given in questions and answers for schools. The elder, whose cords these were, was a saint: and what does sanctity mean? Nothing less than the return of the innocent state of the first man in the sinful man through his penitent deeds. When a soul is sanctified, the body is sanctified too. The cords were always in the hands of the holy one; hence, through the touch of his hands and lungs, holy power was impressed on them, a power from the innocent state of the first man. This is the mystery of the spiritual part of nature! .. This power is naturally felt by all animals, both now and then, and is felt through smell; for the nose in all animals and beasts is the main instrument of the senses. This is the mystery of the sensual part of nature!.. In you, scientists, there are all kinds of powers and wisdoms; as for us, we are so simple: just take a glass of vodka, and you will taste it, and it will have the power to do it, said the clerk, and he went to the cupboard. It’s up to you, said the teacher, but ask for some knowledge from us. I liked the way the teacher said this; so I went up to him and said: I dare to tell you something more about my elder, and explained to him how he had appeared to me in a dream, how he had taught me, and how he had stressed the need to read “The Will to Potter.” The teacher listened carefully. And the clerk, lying on a couch, was grumbling: “They say the truth, that madmen take notes and read the Bible. That’s it! They do it that way! What kind of wanderer would write on books for you at night, and dirty them with soot?… That’s your miracle! Oh! It will pass! ” Having said this, the clerk went back to the wall and fell asleep. Hearing this, I turned to the teacher and said: “If you wish, I will show you the very book on which the words are properly underlined, and not smeared with soot.” I took out “The Will to Potter” from my bag and showed it, saying: I wonder at this wisdom, how a disembodied soul could take coal and write?.. The teacher looked at the note and began to say: “And this is the mystery of the spirits. I will explain this to you; here you see: when the spirits are in a physical form in a living human being, they take and compose themselves from air and light matter a tangible body, and when they manifest themselves, they return again to the elements from which they have drawn the composition of their body. And since air has elasticity, compressive and tensile force, the soul clothed in it can do anything, act and write.” – “What is this book of yours? Let me see it! He unfolded it and the Word and Speech of Simeon the New Theologian opened itself. – “Oh! it must be a theological book. I have never seen it… This book, Father, consists almost entirely of lectures on internal hearty prayer in the name of Jesus Christ; it is revealed in full here in twenty-nine of the holy fathers. – “I know the internal prayer,” said the teacher… I bowed down to him and asked him to say something about the internal prayer. Here is what is written in the new volume: that all things, including man and all creatures, are subject not to the will, and all naturally wallow, strive and long to enter the sphere of God’s children, and this mysterious wailing of creatures and innate desire of souls is internal prayer. It has nothing to learn, it is in everyone and everything!.. And how can one find, discover, and feel it in the heart, perceive it and accept it by one’s will, achieve that it may act reliably, give joy, illumine, and save? – I asked. I don’t remember if it is written somewhere about this in theological treatises, said the teacher. Here it is – here it is all written, said I… The teacher took a pencil, wrote the name “The Will to Potter,” and said: I will definitely write this book out from Tobolsk and examine it. And so we parted ways.

Пішовши, я дякував Богові за розмову з учителем, а про писаря молився, щоб Господь влаштував хоча б одним разом, щоб переніс йому Dobrotolyubie, і навчив би його на спасіння.

Meeting with a pious priest

And one more time, in the spring, I had to stay in a priest when I came to a village. He was a good and lonely man: I stayed with him for three days. After having examined me at this time, he began to tell me: stay with me, I will pay you; I need a diligent person; you have seen that we are building a new stone church instead of the old wooden one. I cannot find a reliable person who would look after the workmen, but who would sit in the chapel to collect alms for the construction; and I see that you would be able to do this, and that you would have it good along your way; you would have stayed alone in the chapel, and prayed to God, there is also a chamber separated for a guard. Although I refused at first, I had to agree to his persuasive request. So I stayed for the summer until autumn. That’s how I began to live in the chapel. At first, it was peaceful and convenient for me to practice prayer, although many people came to the chapel, especially on festive days, some to pray, some to nap, and some to take something from the collection bowl. And as I sometimes read the Dobrotolyubie, some of those who came, seeing this, started talking to me, others asked me to read them something.

            After some time, I noticed that a peasant girl often came to the chapel and prayed to God for a long time. Listening to her mumbling, I learned that she was reading some strange prayers, and others were completely distorted. I asked: who taught her this? She said that her mother, who was a church-going woman, and her father was a worldly person. Pitying all this, I advised her to read the prayers properly, according to the tradition of the holy church, and therefore I interpreted her: Our Father, and the Virgin Mary, rejoice. And finally, I said: do it more often and more often, and the prayer of Jesus is more profitable than all prayers to God, and you will receive the salvation of your soul through it. The girl accepted my advice with attention, and began to do so in simplicity. And what? After a short time, she announced to me that she had become accustomed to the prayer of Jesus, that she felt an uncontrollable urge, and if it were possible, she would continue to practice it, and when she prayed, she felt pleasure and, after finishing, also joy and a desire to pray again. I was delighted at this, and advised her to continue the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

            The summer was nearing its end; many of those who came to the chapel began to come to me, not only to be read and given advice, but with various life’s sorrows, and even for recognition of lost things and disappearances; apparently, others considered me a fortune-teller. Finally, the girl I mentioned in distress came for advice, as she should be. Her father intended to marry her off to a bachelor, also without children, and he would have her married to a commoner. What kind of legitimate marriage is that? she exclaimed, it doesn’t matter! I want to flee, wherever the eyes look. I told her: where will you flee? After all, they will find you again. Nowhere can you hide without being noticed; everywhere they will find you; however, it is better to pray even harder for God to destroy the intention of your father and preserve your soul from sin and heresy. This will be more reliable than your escape.

            Time went on, and it became unbearably noisy and seductive. Finally, the summer was over, and I decided to leave the chapel and continue as before on my path. I came to the priest and began to say to him: You are familiar with my arrangement, Father. I need silence for prayer, and here it is very distracting and harmful. Here I have fulfilled my duty to you, I have spent the summer: now release me and bless me on a separate path. The priest did not want to release me, and he began to persuade me: what prevents you from praying here? After all, you have no business except to sit in the chapel, and bread is ready for you. Perhaps you spend day and night in prayer; live, brother, with God! You are capable and useful for this place, you do not miss the trifles that come by, but you bring the Church of God profit and collect funds, rightly. This is better before God than your separate prayer. What on your own, it is more fun to pray with the people. God created man not for him to know only himself, but for people to help each other, to lead each other to salvation, whoever can. Look at the saints and universal teachers, they worked day and night and took care of the Church, and they preached everywhere, and they did not sit alone and did not hide from people.

            Everyone, Father, has his own God; many preachers and many hermits. Whoever had what disposition, he did so and believed that God himself pointed out to him the way of salvation in it. And how can you judge this of me: that many saints left the episcopal flock and the priesthood, and they fled to secluded deserts, so that they would not be ashamed among the people? Thus, St. Isaac the Syrian fled from his episcopal flock; thus, the holy Abba Anthony of Mount Athos deserted his numerous monastery; and it was precisely because these places were tempting for them, and because they truly believed the voice of Jesus Christ: What profit is there to a man if he gains the whole world, and then loses his soul? .

            “They were holy people,” said the priest. “If they were holy people, and were careful not to offend people, what should a weak sinner do?” Finally, I bade farewell to this kind priest, and he with love conducted me on my way.

A story of a saved girl

            Ten versts later, I stopped to spend the night in a village. On this night I saw a desperate man who was sick, and I asked an old friend near him to administer the holy mysteries of Christ. They agreed, and before dawn they sent for a priest from their parish village. I stayed to wait for him to come to receive the holy gifts and to pray for this great sacrament. I went out into the street, sat on the porch, and waited to meet the priest. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a girl came running from the backyard to me. She had been worshiping in the chapel.

            “How did you get here?” I asked her.

            It was planned that I should be a bride, so that I could be taken for a renegade, and so I went ahead. While bowing to me, she began to say: “Have mercy. Take me with you and take me to some nunnery. I do not want to get married. I will live in a monastery to pray to Jesus. They will listen to you there and accept me.”

            “Have mercy,” I said, “where am I going to take you? I don’t know any nuns there. And how can I take you with me, if you don’t have a passport? First, you are not welcome anywhere; and there is nowhere to hide now, you will be persecuted, and sent home, and punished for wandering. Go home and pray to God, and if you don’t want to marry, choose some harmless place. This is called a saving subterfuge; this is what St. Clement’s mother and the reverend Marina, who hid in a male monastery, and many others, did.

            At the same time, we were sitting and discussing, we saw four men driving a cart on the road, and they jumped up to us. They grabbed the girl, put her in the cart and drove off with one man; the other three tied my hands and drove me back to the village where I had lived in the summer. To all my excuses they only shouted: “We will tell you, holy man, how to seduce girls!” In the evening, they brought me to the village administration, handcuffed my legs with iron, and put me in jail until morning, until the trial started. The priest, being told that I was in jail, came to see me; he brought food for dinner, consoled me, and said that Father Spiritual would stand up for me and say that I was not of the kind they claimed me to be. After staying with me, he left.

Later in the evening, the eldership, passing through the village, stopped at the site of the election; and he was told about what had happened. He ordered a meeting to be held, and me to be brought to the judge’s house. We entered, stood there, and waited. Then the eldership arrived, already in a good mood, sat down at the table in his cassock, and exclaimed: Hey, Epiphanius! after all, the girl, your daughter, hasn’t done anything wrong from the yard? Nothing, Father! With this rascal, no bad things have been uncovered? No, Father! Then, as we deliberate the case and decide, you should settle things with your daughter yourself; and we will take this young man in for interrogation and punishment tomorrow, and drive him out so that he doesn’t show up here again. That’s all! Having said this, the eldership got up from the table and went to bed; and I was again put in detention. Early in the morning, two men came, the hundredth and the tenth, arrested me, and released me; and I went, thanking God that He had granted me to suffer for His name. This consoled me and further warmed me with constant heart prayer.

            Then he began to say: “Keep alert and do not be discouraged! Remember what the Apostle said: ‘Greater is your reward than that of the world.’ Here you have just experienced that no temptation is allowed over and beyond a person’s strength; however, ‘God works in the provocation and rapid response’ (Rom 8:28). Hope for this divine help reinforced the zeal and efforts of the holy prayer-workers, who not only spent their lives in unceasing prayer themselves, but with love taught and opened this to others, as and when they had the occasion and time. This is how Saint Gregory of Nyssa writes: “Not only do we ourselves have the commandment of God to pray unceasingly in the name of Christ, but we must also teach and make known this to all the monks, laymen, the wise, the simple, men and women, and children, and encourage hard work among them all. In the same way, Saint Callistus of Antilib’ describes: ‘Since neither the intellectual act of God, nor contemplative knowledge, nor the exercises practised to approach the soul’s desire, should remain in one’s own mind alone, but should be written down, shared, and recommended to every man and woman for the common benefit.’ And the Word of God says this, too, as it says: ‘Let us help each other, for the city which has been built rests upon a rock’ (Matt 7:25).

            Only in this way should self-congratulation be avoided and we should take care that the seed of divine teaching should not fall upon unfruitful ground. I woke up, felt great joy in my heart, and firmness in my soul, and proceeded on my journey.

            After this event, after a long time, there was another one; perhaps I shall tell that as well. Once, on 24 March, I felt an irresistible desire to receive the holy mysteries of Christ on the day devoted to the Blessed Virgin Mary, in commemoration of Her Annunciation. I inquired whether the church was far. They told me that it was 30 kilometres away. So, I went all the way and all night to reach the morning service on time. The weather was at its worst, sometimes snow, sometimes rain, with a strong wind and cold. On the road I had to cross a small stream and, as soon as I stepped in the middle of it, the ice under my feet gave way and I fell into the water up to my waist. Soaked, I arrived at the morning service; I attended it and the noon one, where God granted me to receive the holy mysteries.”

            In order to spend this day in peace, without distractions from spiritual joy, I asked the church guard to let me stay in the chapel until the next day. I spent the entire day in indescribable joy and heartfelt sweetness; lying on the straw in this unheated barn, I felt as if I were resting on the bed of Abraham: prayer was very effective. The love of Jesus Christ and the Blessed Mother, like sweet waves, surged in my heart and flooded my soul with delightful enthusiasm. By nightfall, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my legs, and I remembered that they were wet. Ignoring this, I began to listen more closely to the heart with prayer and no longer felt any pain. When morning came, I tried to get up, but I saw that I could not move my legs at all; they had fainted and relaxed, like batons; the guard barely managed to hoist me from the straw. And so I sat there for two days, completely immobile. On the third day, the guard began to force me out of the chapel, saying: if you die here, then go after you. As soon as I managed to get up on my hands, I lay down on the church floor.

            I lay there for two days. The people who passed by did not pay any attention to me or to my requests.

            Finally, a man came to me, sat down, and we started talking. By the way, he said: What are you going to give me? I can cure you. It was exactly the same with me; I know about this medicine. I have nothing to give you. And what do you have in your bag? Only crackers and books. Well, can you give me at least one summer if I heal you? And I can’t do any work; you can see that I can only use my hand, and the other has almost dried up. What can you do, then? Nothing, except that I can read and write. And write! Well, teach the boy, my son, he doesn’t know much about reading, but I want him to write. But the masters charge a lot; 20 rubles for tuition. I agreed, and they dragged me away with the watchman and put me in this man’s backyard in an old empty bathhouse.

“The next morning I asked the boy to light me a bowl of steaming hot water out of the neighbour’s courtyard, while I warmed myself in the fire. After washing myself thoroughly with this salt water, I began to apply it on my legs. I smeared them so much that all the salt water I had was used up. Then I fed my legs with sweet-Albanian oil. The leg was paralysed, but felt as though it had strength again. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was so miraculous. At the point I could move my legs, I immediately wrote a complaint to the Chief of the Order of the Black Brothers about the indecency of the authorities. The Master refused to recognize my complaint and treated me rudely, calling me a liar and cheating. So I was forced to go home.”Do not think, Father, so much about this holy book. It was not written by ordinary Greek monks, but by the great and holy men whom your church honours, as, for example, Anthony the Great, Macarius the Great, Marcus the Ascetic, John the Golden-mouthed, and others. Nor were the Indian and Bukharian monks so conscious of the inner form of prayer as was shown by the Elder whom I once knew. All the instructions about the inner action of prayer are taken from the Word of God, the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ, who commanded: “Our Father,” also foretold unceasing inner prayer, saying: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul; watch, pray, and be careful, and make your dwelling place with Me, and I will make my dwelling place with you.” The Holy Fathers, quoting King David in the Psalms: “Taste and see that who is good,” interpret it to mean that the Christian should work by every possible means to seek and achieve sweetness in prayer, and not merely recite the Lord’s Prayer once a day. Here I will read to you how the Holy Fathers condemn those who do not try to achieve and learn the sweetness of serious prayer. They say that such people sin in the following ways: they: (1) make the Sacred Scriptures contradictory, (2) do not expect a higher and perfect state for the soul, but are content with external virtues, and they cannot have a taste and thirst for truth. As a result, they lack the bliss and joy of the Lord’s virtue, and often fall into passions of vanity and pride, from which they are thereby diverted. “Nice,” said the manager. What reason do we worldly folk have to pursue anything like this? Here I will read to you a simpler version of how good people in the worldly life were taught constant prayer. I found in the book of St. Symeon the New Theologian a story about the young George, and I began to read it.

            During the night, in the thin snow, I hear the voice of my elder, but I see no one; the voice was telling me: Here is your master healed, and you, why don’t you help the steward? God has commanded us to sympathize with our neighbors. With pleasure, I would help her in any way. I don’t know of any means. Now, what would you do: she has had a disgust for wooden oil from the very beginning of her life, and not only can’t she tolerate the smell of it, but she can’t bear it without nausea; so give her a spoonful of wooden oil to drink, it will tear her skin, a bone will come out, and the wound in her throat, which the bone has scratched, will be greased with oil, and she will recover. But how can I give it, when she has a disgust, and she won’t drink? You recommended to the steward to hold her by the head, and somehow force her to drink. I woke up immediately and went to the steward and told him this in detail. He says that now he will make your oil? Here she is coughing and dreaming, and her neck is swollen. However, we will probably test it; the oil is harmless medicine, though it won’t help. He poured some into a glass of wooden oil, and we gave her some to swallow. Immediately there was a violent vomiting and soon the bone came out with blood; she became easier and fell into a deep sleep.

            In the morning, I came to see her and saw that she was sitting quietly over her tea, and together with her husband, they were amazed at the healing, and moreover, as I was told in my dream, that she did not like wooden oil, because no one knew this except them both. Here the doctor came, and the steward told her what had happened to her, and I told her; how her husband healed my feet. The doctor, having listened, said: neither this nor that case is strange; in both of them, nature’s own strength acted, but for the record, I will write it down in a notebook. He took a pencil and wrote it down in the notebook.

            After this, not long afterwards, a rumor spread all over the neighborhood that I and the seer, and the doctor, and the healer; people from all sides constantly came to me with their various affairs and cases, brought me gifts and began to respect and worship me. After a week, I watched this and, fearing not to fall into vanity and not to harm myself with distraction, I went away secretly at night.

            Then again I went down my own isolated path, and felt such a lightness as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders. Prayer comforted me more and more, so that sometimes my heart boiled with boundless love for Jesus Christ, and from this sweet boil some sweet jets poured through all my joints. The thought of Jesus Christ was so ingrained in my mind that when I reflected on the Gospel events, I seemed to see them before my eyes, I was moved to tears, and at times I felt joy in my heart that I cannot express. Sometimes I spent three days without going to any human settlement, and I felt that I was the only one on earth, one poor sinner before a merciful and compassionate God. This solitude comforted me, and the prayer life was much more delightful for me than for ordinary people.

            Finally I reached Irkutsk. Worshipping the holy relics of St. Innocent, I began to think in secret: where should I go now? But I did not want to stay in the town for long, because it was crowded. I thoughtfully went down the street, and there I met a merchant from here, who stopped me and said: are you a wanderer? Why don’t you come to me? We went into his rich house. He asked me who I was, and I told him my background. After listening, he began to say to me: you should just travel to the old Jerusalem. There is a shrine like no other. With pleasure I would go, I replied, but I have no funds on dry land; I can walk to the sea, and cross it will cost me nothing, it requires a lot of money. Do you wish, said the merchant, I will provide you with a means; here I sent a elderly man from our town last year. I fell at his feet, and he began to say: listen, I will give you a letter to my son in Odessa; he lives there and has trade relations with Constantinople; he has ships, and he will gladly take you to Constantinople, and there he will instruct his stewards to hire a place for you on the ship to Jerusalem and pay the money. Besides, this is not too expensive. Having heard this, I rejoiced, thanked this merciful benefactor for his kindness to me, and more than thanked God that He shows me such parental love and care for me, the sinful sinner, who does no good, neither to himself nor to people, and who eats another’s bread in sloth. And so I stayed with this charitable merchant for three days. He wrote me a letter promising to his son about me; and now I am going to Odessa with the intention of reaching the holy city of Jerusalem: but I don’t know whether the Lord will allow me to worship His life-giving thorn.

Third Report

            Before leaving Irkutsk, I went to see the spiritual father with whom I had been talking and told him: Here I am already on my way to Jerusalem; I came to say goodbye and to thank him for the Christian love he showed me, the unworthy traveller. He said to me: God bless your path. But since you haven’t told me anything about yourself, who you are and where you come from, I’m curious to know about your background and your life before your travels.

            Well, I said, I’ll be happy to tell you that too. It’s not a long story.

A biography of a wanderer and his former worldly life

            I was born in a small village in the Orlov province. After my father and mother, it was just the two of us, my brother and I. He was ten years old, and I, just two years old. So my grandfather adopted us and took us to his farm. He was a wealthy and honest old man who kept a busy inn on the main road, and many traveling people stayed with him through his kindness. We began to live with him; my brother was active and ran about the village, and I mostly hung around with my grandfather. We used to go to church on holidays, and at home he often read the Bible we have now. When he was seven, my brother pushed me off the stove and broke my left hand. Since then, I haven’t been able to use it.

          Granpa saw that I would not be able to do any farm work, so he began to teach me to read and write, which in those days was difficult, because we had no textbooks. On the advice of the Bible he taught me to assemble sounds and to recognize the letters. In fact, I do not understand how, by following his advice, I gradually learned to read. Once, when grandpa began to lose his sight, he commenced to make me read the Bible, and he listened to me and corrected me. There was often a local scribe who was a great writer; I would stand there and watch him, and found writing fun. So I began to write on my own, following his example. Grandpa was happy about this, and he taught me: “Now God has given you literacy. You should thank Him for it and pray often.” Thus, we all went to church on holidays and there we prayed together with grandpa and grandmother, who taught me to also pray the following prayers: MERCY ON ME GOD, let me to pray, let me remember, and let me make the sign of the cross. I was required to say these prayers, and my grandpa with grandma would lie down or stand on their knees. Finally I turned twenty-one, and my grandma passed away. Grandpa started saying to me: “Ouch, there is no woman in the house, and what about grandma? Your big brother has got in trouble; I want to get you married.” I was ashamed of my handicap, but grandpa insisted, and I was married off; they chose a woman for me who was of good age and character; she was twenty years old. One year passed, and my grandpa became seriously ill. He called me and told me to forgive him and said, “Oot, you have a house and all the property; follow the wisdom of God and do not be mistaken. Also, don’t expect anything except from God; go to church, and read the Bible; also, to God, remember us too. Oooh, now you have a thousand roubles; you should keep your money, do not waste it, but do not be too greedy with it, give it to the beggars and the churches of God.”

          He died, and I buried him. My brother, being jealous of this opportunity to inherit the manor and the property, was angry at me, and he also had an enemy who helped him ir a secret way, and even he wanted to kill me. Finally, this is what he did at night, when we had both slept and there were no servants: he unlatched the archives and, upon us sleeping, he broke into the bedrooms and took the money. By that time we had already heard the cracks of fire, and we barely managed to escape from the window gapes; we had only slept in our nightdresses. The Bible lay underneath our heads, and we took it with us. So in the midst of the fire which consumed our house and our manor, we both said to each other: “Thank God that the Bible has survived; at least we have something to be happy about in this fire.” And so it happened that all our property was burned, and my brother left without a trace; later we heard that he had begun using alcohol and boasting that he had stolen our money and burned our manor

When we were left naked and shod, in severe penury, we were reduced so far that we had to mortgage our small hut in order to survive. My wife was a skilled needlewoman: she used to do the right thing for the people, and worked day and night, feeding me. I, however, could not even weave a coil with my useless arm. She used to spin some thread, and I sat beside her, reading the Bible, and she listened, and sometimes even cried. When I asked her, ‘Why are you crying? Thank God, we are alive!’, she would reply, ‘I am so touched by how well the Bible is written.’ We also took care to follow my grandfather’s instructions, and to observe a strict food regimen. We would also recite the Akathist of Our Lady every morning, and we used to put one thousand bows per night, so as not to be tempted. So we lived peacefully for two years. But something strange happened: even though we had no idea about inner prayer, taking place in the heart, and we never heard about it, we simply said prayers in words, and we did bows mindlessly as if we were being thrown across the world, and even though the desire to pray was present, and even though the external and meaningless prayer did not seem difficult, it was right for me to be told by a teacher that there is an inner prayer inside people that no one knows, and that it happens spontaneously inside the heart, without anyone’s knowledge, and it arouses an inclination for prayer. Perhaps that teacher told me the truth, that there is a secret prayer going on inside a person which no one knows, and that it makes itself felt without our knowledge, right inside the heart, and this gives rise to an inclination to pray. And who knows how to do it and how to understand prayer.

      Two years later, my wife suddenly fell ill with a severe fever and, after taking Communion, died on the tenth day. I was left alone, and I could not do anything; I had to leave my home and beg for alms, and it was shameful to ask for alms; and besides, my sorrows at losing my wife were so great that I did not know where to go. As soon as I entered my hut, and saw my wife’s clothes or her apron, I would start weeping and collapse, almost without noticing. So I could no longer go on living there in my affliction, and, therefore, I sold my hut for 20 roubles, and all my man’s and woman’s clothes, and gave them to beggars. They gave me a perpetual indenture and a document freeing me from any military service, and I immediately took my beloved Bible with me, and went where my eyes took me. Out in the world, I was worried about where to go now. I thought of going to Kyiv first of all, and making a pilgrimage to the Catholic saints and asking them to console me. Once I had taken that decision, it was easier, and I went to Kyiv with a smile on my face. Since then, it has been 13 years since I have been wandering from place to place; I have visited many churches and monasteries, and now I am increasingly wandering in the steppes and fields. I do not know whether the Lord will have mercy on me and let me even reach holy Jerusalem. The right time will come when the Lord’s will is done, and I shall be able to lay even the bones of sinners there at the right place.

      And how old are you, Quasimodo, since your birth? – Thirty-three years old.

      The age of Christ!

(1827.1) 168:1.10 Воспроизведя справедливое русское поговорку: «Человек полагает, а Бог предоставляет», я сказал: «Пришли ко мне еще до моего духовного отца. Я предполагал, что сегодня я пойду именно на пути к святыне в Иерусалиме, но оказалось по другому; неразумеемый случай оставил меня тут же на три дня. И я не мог увести себя, чтобы не прийти к вам, чтобы сообщить об этом и получить ваше таинственное решение в таком случае, который совершенно неожиданно встретился в таком виде.»

            Look what random incidents happen in one’s life! But God and His holy providence rule all our actions and intentions, as it is written: And what we desire and what is the will of God. After hearing this, my spiritual father said: I am very happy, dear brother, that the Lord has arranged for me to see you in the near future. And since you are now free, I will be happy to keep you with me for a longer time, and you can tell me more about your instructive encounters that have occurred on your long journey. I and my former companions listened to your stories with joy and attention. I am happy to do so, I replied and began to talk. 

            There was a lot of good and bad; it is not easy to recount everything, but much has already happened and is forgotten, for I tried to remember only what moved and moved my lazy soul to prayer, and everything else I rarely remember, or rather, I tried to forget the past, following the example of St. Paul, who said: I strive for the honorable position of the superior, forgetting the past, and reaching for the future. And the blessed and pious Elder used to say that distractions and delusions from prayer come from two sides, that is, if the enemy does not manage to distract from prayer with vain thoughts and sinful plans, then it renews the instructive memories or indulges my prayer, which is intolerable. And this is called a clear theft, in which the soul, having despised the conversation with God, turns to a pleasant conversation with itself or with animals. And that is why he taught me that during prayer one should not even take the most beautiful spiritual thought, and after the day, if you happen to see that the time spent is more in instructive reflection and conversation than in a real meaningless prayer of the heart, then this should be considered ignorance, or a desire for the necessary, for spiritual greed, in prayer, mainly overcame the large amount of time spent on other duties of piety. But it is impossible to forget everything. Something else has simply been so deeply engraved in the memory that it has not been remembered for a long time, but it is remembered, for example, as one pious family, in which God allowed me to spend a few days with the following incident.

During my journey through my Toba region, I had to pass through a small town. I had very little bread left, so I went into a house to ask for bread for the road. The master told me: thank God, you have come at the right time; my wife has just taken out the bread from the oven; here, take this warm blanket and pray to God for us. I thanked them and began to put the bread in my bag, and the mistress, seeing this, said: what a thin sack, all worn out; here, I will give you a nice, hard sack. I thanked them from the heart and went on. At the exit, in a small grocery store, I asked for some salt, and the grocer poured a small bag of it. I thanked the Lord in my spirit and thanked God that He is showing me such good people who are not worthy of such kindness. Here, I thought, I will now spend a week without worrying about food, I will sleep and be satisfied. Blessed be the Lord!

            After going about nine versts away from this town, I saw a small village along the road and a small, but well-made and painted church. As I passed by, I wished to pay my respects to the house of God and went into the church. I prayed. Next to the church, on the bank, there were two little children, aged five or six. I thought that they were children of the priest, even though they were very well dressed. So, after praying, I went on. Even before I had gone ten steps from the church, I heard a cry: beggar, beggar, stop! This was the cry of the children as they ran toward me; I stopped, and they grabbed my hand: let’s go to the mother, she loves beggars. I am not a beggar, I said to them, but a traveling man. So, where is your bag? They insisted that I must go with them, that their mother would give me money for the road. But where is your mother? Behind the church, under the arbor.

            They led me to a splendid garden, in the middle of which I saw a large, grand house; we went into the very halls, what cleanliness and decoration! My God, how is this possible? And the mistress came out to meet us. Come in! Come in! What a blessing for us! Where did God send you to us? Sit down! Sit down, dear! She took off my bag and set it on the table, and she sat me on a beautiful chair; do you want to eat or have tea? And do you have any other needs? I thank you, I thank you, I answered, my provisions are in a whole sack, and while I do drink tea, I am not accustomed to it, according to our peasant way of life. Your care and kind hospitality are dearer to me than the food; I will thank God for blessing you for such an evangelical hospitality. Saying this, I felt a strong impulse to return inside; the prayer surged up in my heart, and I needed quiet and silence to give room to the flame of prayer that had arisen spontaneously, to hide the outward signs of prayer, such as tears, sighs, and unusual movements of face and lips.

            Then she said to me, “Come on, my mother, and say: Please forgive me, mother, I have to go; may the Lord Jesus Christ be with you and your dear children. Oh no! God forbid you to go, I won’t let you go. “Oh no! God forbid you to go, I won’t let you go. Here, at dusk, my husband will come from the city, where he serves as a judge in the county court. How happy he will be to see you! He considers every wandering person to be a messenger of God. And if you go, he will be very sad not to see you: besides, tomorrow is Sunday, you will pray with us at lunch, and what God has sent, you will share together; in our family, there are often guests up to thirty poor brothers of Christ. But what did you say to me about yourself, where you come from and where you are going? Talk to me, I love to listen to the spiritual conversations of godly people. Children, children! Take the hunter’s suitcase and take it to the icon room, where he will spend the night. Hearing these words from her, I was surprised, and I thought: am I talking to a person, or is it a ghost?

After all this, I asked where was the book by John the Theologian that you wanted to send to your mother. Let’s go to the room, I’ll find it for you. As soon as we sat down to read, the owner came. Seeing me, he embraced me affectionately, and we fraternally kissed, as Christians should, and took me to his room, saying, “Come, dear brother, let’s bless my cell. I think that she (pointing to the hostess) is bored with you. Whenever she sees a traveler or a traveler, or a sick person, she is happy and does not leave them day or night; this is a custom in her family that has existed for a long time. We went into the owner’s room. There were many books, beautiful icons, a life-giving cross as tall as it is, and the Gospeln was placed next to it; I prayed and said, “You have Paradise here, father. Here is the Lord Jesus Christ, His Blessed Mother, and His holy saints; and these books are their divine, living and insatiable words and instructions; I think you often enjoy a heavenly conversation with them.” “Yes, I confess,” replied the owner, “I am a book reader.” “What books do you have here?” I asked. I have a lot of spiritual books, the owner replied; here is a whole stack of treatises, works by John Chrysostom, Basil the Great, many theological and philosophical works, as well as many sermons by noted new preachers. My library costs me a thousand and fifty rubles.”

“Are you not, I asked, in a position to lend me a book about prayer? I love to read about prayer. There is a new book on prayer, the work of a priest from Petrograd. The gentleman has given a commentary on the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Our Father.’ And we started reading it with great pleasure. Soon afterwards, a lady came to us, brought in some tea, and the children also brought a whole basket full of small silver cakes, the kind I had never eaten before. The gentleman took the book from me, gave it to the lady, and said: ‘Let’s have her read it, she reads it perfectly, and we’ll enjoy it too.’ The lady started reading, and we listened. As I listened to the reading, I was also listening to the prayer being performed inside my heart; the longer the reading went on, the more the prayer grew, and I enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw someone dash past my eyes, as if through the air, like my deceased old tutor. I started, but in order to hide it, I said, ‘Excuse me, but I dozed off for a moment.’ Then I felt as if the old man’s spirit had penetrated my soul, or illuminated it, and I felt a light in my mind and a multitude of thoughts about prayer. As soon as I made the sign of the cross and tried to banish these thoughts from my mind, the lady finished reading the book, and the gentleman asked me, ‘Did you like this work?’ I said, ‘Excellent; and the Lord’s Prayer ‘Our Father’ is of a higher and nobler nature than all the other prayers we Christians have, for it is the Lord Jesus Christ who composed it, and I have also read an introspective and hidden explanation of it with the holy Fathers.’

            Well, where did you read that? For example, in the Confession of Maximus, and in the Book of Good Plans of Peter Damaskin. Please, do you remember anything? Please. The beginning of the prayer is: Our Father, who are in heaven

Oh! this is a great work, and it is almost impossible for the inhabitants of the world to attain inner prayer, cried the gentleman; even if God helps us to send it out without hesitation. Do not think so, Father, for as impossible and terribly difficult as it is, God has not commanded this to everyone. His power is in weakness, and the saints instruct us in ways that make it easier to attain inner prayer. Of course, for the ascetics of the world they indicate special and higher ways, but for the laity they also instruct us in convenient and guiding ways to attain inner prayer. I have never read about it in such detail, said the gentleman. Please, please, I will read to you from the book The Good Master. I brought my Good Master, found the article by Peter Damascene in Volume 3 on page 48, and began reading the following: “One should learn to invoke the name of God more than one breathes, at all times and places and in all things. The Apostle says, ‘praying without ceasing,’ that is, he teaches that one must have things in mind, whether one is doing something, one must have the Creator of things in mind; it is the reason for having God in mind and praising Him, and so one always prays, and the soul will always rejoice.” Look, please, how this method of continuous prayer is convenient, easy and accessible to anyone who has even the slightest human feelings.

They liked it very much. The gentleman hugged me with enthusiasm, thanked me, looked at my Good Master, and said, “I will definitely buy such a book for myself; I will soon get it from Petersburg; and for now, for memory, I will write down the article you read, tell me.” And he quickly copied it beautifully. Then he exclaimed, “My God! because I have an icon of St. Damask. He took the frame, inserted a written sheet under the glass, and hung it under the icon, saying, “Here the word of the Servant of God, under his image, will often remind me to perform this saving advice in his work.”

After that, we went to dinner. As before, men and women were sitting at the table with us. What a pious silence and peace there was at the table! After dinner, people and children prayed for a long time. They made me read the akathist to Jesus Most Sweet.

After they left, their servants went away, and the three of us were left in the room. The lady brought me a white shirt and stockings – I bowed at her feet and said: “I won’t take mamma’s stockings, I don’t know how to sew them, we’ve always been used to wearing breeches.” She ran back again and brought her old coat, a thin yellow cloth, and cut it into two breaches, and the gentleman, saying: “Now this poor fellow’s breeches are almost torn, bring me some new boots,” brought his own boots, which he wears on top of boots, and then said to me: “Go into that room.” I went, changed, and came out again. They sat me on a stool, and began to put on shoes on me, the gentleman began to wrap my feet in breeches, and the lady began to put on boots. At first I wouldn’t let myself be done, but they told me to sit still and said: “Sit there and be silent, for Christ washed the feet of his disciples.” I had nothing to do, and I began to cry, and they cried as well. After that, the lady stayed in the chambers to sleep with the children, and we went to the garden to the arbour with the gentleman. We couldn’t sleep for a long time, we lay there and talked with the gentleman. And he began to ask me: “Tell me by God, by the truth and by your conscience, who you are? You must be of good birth, and you are only making a fool of yourself. You read and write well, you speak correctly, and you reason correctly; this is impossible in a peasant’s upbringing. I spoke the truth and told you and your wife the whole story, I never intended to lie or deceive you. And what else can I say? And what I say is not mine, but it was heard from my dear deceased holy old man, and it was studied with care by the holy fathers; in fact, the only light of my ignorance comes from inner prayer, which I did not gain myself, but was given by God’s grace and ancient teaching imbued it in my heart. After all, this is possible for every person; it is enough only to penetrate deeply into his heart and call out the enlightening light of Jesus Christ as much as possible, and then he will immediately perceive the inner light, and he will understand everything, even the mysteries of the kingdom of God. And this is a profound insight into the light, when a person learns about this ability to immerse himself, to see himself inside, to enjoy self-awareness, to feel tenderly and to weep sweetly about his fall and corrupt will. It is not very difficult to reason and speak to people, because reason and heart have come before human wisdom and learning. When there is reason, it can be refined through either science or experience; but if there is no reason, no education will help. The point is that we are far from ourselves, and we do not want to get close to ourselves, and we all run away, so as not to meet ourselves, and radiate truth at trifles, and think: we would be glad to engage in spiritual work, or prayer, but life’s worries and problems never allow it. And what is more important and necessary – the salvific eternal life of the soul, or the fleeting life of the body, which we care so much about? What I have said leads people either to prudence or to stupidity.”

The Story of Conversion and the Life of a Landowner

Let me beg you, dear brother, I asked you not out of mere curiosity, but out of kindness and Christian participation in you, and also because several years ago I saw an example that gave rise to my question to you. Do you see, a beggar with a soldier’s discharge card came to us, an old man, quite poor, almost naked and barefooted, talking little and so simply, as if he were a steppe peasant. We took him in to a poorhouse; a few days later he fell seriously ill, so we moved him to this gazebo, comforted him, and started going with my wife to care for him. Finally, he was probably nearing death; we prepared him, inviting our priest to confess him, prepare him for his last rites. On the eve of his death, he got up, asked for a sheet of paper and a pen, asked that the door be locked and no one be allowed in while he wrote his last will to his son, who he asked to send it to him to St. Petersburg at the address he had given. I was surprised to see him writing not only in a beautiful, educated handwriting, but also that his writing was wonderful, correct, and very tender. I’ll read you his will tomorrow; I have a copy of it.

            All this surprised me, and aroused a curiosity to ask him about his origin and life. With a solemn oath never to tell anyone of this before his death, he told me his life. I was a prince, who, being much richer than most, lived a very sumptuous and scattered life. My wife had died, and I lived with my son, who was happily serving as a captain in the Guard. One day, while preparing to go to a ball at a prominent person’s, I was provoked by my servant; unable to contain my temper, I struck him hard on the head and ordered him to be banished to the country. This was in the evening, and the next morning the servant died of a brain inflammation. But the matter came out lightly, and I soon forgot about it. After six weeks, the dead servant began to appear to me, first in a dream; he would visit me in the middle of the night, constantly repeating to me, “You are a criminal, you murdered me!” Then I began to see him in waking life. What followed was that he began to appear to me more often, and then almost continuously. Unable to sleep, I started to see other dead men whom I had cruelly offended, along with the women I had seduced. They all continued to reproach me and keep me awake, to the extent that I could neither sleep nor eat nor do anything; I was completely exhausted, and my skin fell to my very bones. All the efforts of skilled physicians were in vain. I went to be treated abroad, but after half a year I was still no better, and my terrible visions kept increasing. They brought me back barely alive; and I was fully conscious of the horrors of hellish torment, especially the experience of the separation of the soul from the body. Then I was convinced that hell exists and learned what it means.

            Being in such a painful state, I realized my iniquities, repented, confessed, and set free all the people around me who served me, and swore to torment myself with all kinds of labors for the rest of my life and to hide in a poor appearance in order to be the last servant of the lowest class of people for my transgressions. As soon as I weighed this carefully, the visions that had been disturbing me immediately ended. I felt such a joy and pleasure at being reconciled with God that I cannot describe it fully. Here I also experienced firsthand what heaven means and how the kingdom of God is revealed within our hearts. Not long after, I recovered, carried out my intentions, and secretly left with my retired soldier’s passport: from my homeland. And now, 15 years later, I have been wandering all over Siberia. Sometimes I took menial jobs, other times I made a living by God’s name. Oh, in all this toil, what joy, happiness and peace of conscience I ate! Only one who has been transferred from the painful hell by God’s mercy can feel this. After telling this, he handed me his will to be sent to his son, and the next day he died. Here is a list of his will in my bag, placed in my Bible. If you wish, I will read it right now. Please do!

            I have unrolled it and read it: In the name of God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, glorified in the Trinity.

            Dear son,

            For 15 years you have not seen your father, but he is in unknown territory, occasionally communicating with you, nurturing for you the fatherly love that forces you to send these last lines to you so that they will be your lesson in life.

            You know how I suffered for my carelessness and careless life; but you do not know how I was blissful in my unknown journey, enjoying the fruits of repentance.

            I am dying peacefully in the good of my and your benefactor, because the benefactions poured out on my father should concern a considerate son. Convey my gratitude to him as best you can.

            Leaving you my fatherly blessing, I beg you to remember God, to keep your conscience, to be careful, kind and prudent, to behave as kindly and lovingly as possible toward the subordinates under you, and not to despise beggars and strangers, remembering that even a dying father, in his poverty and agony of soul, tormented himself.

         I called down God’s grace on you, and with peace I closed my eyes in the hope of eternal life and the compassionate care of the Lord Jesus Christ.

            Your father.

            So we lay down and talked. And I asked him: Do you think you have no worries and no concerns about the errant one? After all, many of our fellow travellers wander around, or take up laziness, and lie in the road, as I have had the opportunity to see. There have been few such cases; more and more, real travellers have been admitted. Speaking of this, the lord said: We still shelter and keep such idle ones. They, after living among our good beggars, blessed Brothers, often repent and come out as humble and gentle people. This was proved recently. One of the local townspeople became so unruly that he was chased away from the gate with sticks by all, and no one would even give him a piece of bread. He was hungry, violent and a thief, and besides, he was a ravenous drinker. That is how a drunken man came to us; he asked for bread and wine, to which he was an exceptional hunter. We welcomed him kindly, telling him: live with us, we will give you as much wine as you want, but only under the condition that, having drunk, you go to bed at once, otherwise, if you dare to disturb us even a little, we will not only turn you away and never accept you, but I myself will treat you as a thief or a cobbler. Once he had accepted this, he stayed with us. For a week, or more, he really drank as much as he wanted; but always in keeping with his promise and with a desire for wine (so as not to lose it), he went to bed or went to the garden, lay there and kept silent. When he had sobered up, the beggar brothers spoke to him and gave advice to moderate, although at first he decreased his intake little by little. So, he gradually began to drink less and, after three months, became a sober man and is now somehow employed and does not eat anyone else’s bread. The third day he came to me to thank me. What wisdom, done under the guidance of love! thought I, and I cried out: Blessed be God, who displays his grace in the shelter of his shelter!

            After our conversation, we and the lord, after an hour or a half, heard a service and went, and soon after that Pania was there, along with her children. We attended the morning service; and before that, the Divine Liturgy began. My lord and I, along with a child, got up in the altar, and Pania and her child got up by the altar window, to see the elevation of the holy gifts. My God! How they prayed next to each other and burst into tears of joy! How radiant their faces became, so that I was moved to tears by looking at them.

After the end of the Lord’s service, the priest, the servants and all the beggars went to the dinner table together, and there were about forty beggars; there were lepers, sick people, and boys. They all sat down. What a silence and silence! I, having taken courage, said gently to the lord: in the communities, the lives of the saints are read during the meal; if they were to do so, and they have a circle of attendants. The lord, turning to the lady, said: indeed, Masha, let us introduce such an order. This would be disrespectful. First I will read, then you, and then the priest, and then the brothers, in turn, who are able. The priest, having eaten, began to say: I love to listen, but a devoted servant does not have the time to read. As soon as you arrive home, you do not know how to return all the worries and worries; there is something to do, and something else to do; there are plenty of boys, and there is enough cattle; all day long they are busy, and there is no time to read or teach. After hearing this, I shuddered, but the lady, sitting next to me, seized my hand and began to say: father is speaking out of humility, he always humiliates himself like this, and he is the kindest and most godly person; he has been a widower for 20 years and raising an entire family of grandchildren, and on top of that he often serves. At these words, the following saying of Mykita Sytfat in the Book of Job came to mind: the inner state of the soul is the measure of the nature of things, that is, whoever one is, one views others the same way; and he goes on to say: Who has attained true prayer and love, he has no distinction between things, does not distinguish among the righteous and sinners, but loves all alike and does not condemn anyone, as does God; just as the sun shines and rains on the righteous and the wicked.

            I felt a prayerful, almost sudden, great need of prayerful outpourings, and solitude and silence had ceased to be for another day. I felt in my heart like some stream that wanted to break through and gush out into every limb, but the more I kept it back, the more intense the pain in my heart became, a kind of consolation that demanded silent consolation and saturation with prayer. Here I discovered why the true creators of prayer, who were possessed by it, fled from people and hid themselves in mystery; I also understood why the Saint Isaac called even the most instructive and useful conversation “chaff,” while St. Ephrem the Syrian says: “pure gold is prayer, but speaking words are silver.” In considering all this, I went to the poor; there everyone had rested after lunch. I went up to the attic, rested, and prayed. When the beggars got up, I found the blind man and took him out to the yard; we sat there by ourselves and began to talk.

Conversation with a blind fellow traveler and his path of prayer

            Tell me, in the interests of your soul, do you make the Jesus prayer? I have been doing it continuously for a long time. What do you feel as a result? It is only that I cannot be without prayer day or night. How did God open this occupation to you? Tell me, dear brother, in detail. You see, I am a worker here, I worked in the craft by making bread, I went to other provinces, to villages, and sewed peasant clothes.

            In one village, I had to stay for a long time in a man for the upholstery of his family. On a festive day, I brought three books to the church, and I asked, Who reads in your house? No one answered me. These books belonged to our uncle. He was an educator. I took one book and turned it wherever I wanted, and I read, as I now remember, such words: Prayer is unceasing, calling the name of God always, whether someone is talking, sitting, walking, working, eating, or doing something else, in every place and at every hour like this.

After reading this, I began to think that it was very convenient for me, and I began to make a whispered prayer about my sewing work, and I liked it. Those who lived with me in the hut noticed this and began to laugh at me; are you a sorcerer or a wizard, who constantly mutters? or what are you cursing? I stopped moving my lips to conceal this, and began to make a prayer in one language only. In the end, I got so used to my prayer that my language, my day and my night all speak it, and I enjoy it.

            I walked for a long time, then suddenly went completely blind. In our family, almost everyone has dark water in their eyes. That is why our society from my poverty has decided to put me in an asylum, which is located in our provincial town, Tver. Now I am going there, and the gentlemen have stopped me so that they can give me a ride to Tver.

What was the name of the book you were reading? Wasn’t it Love of Goodness? I don’t know, I didn’t even look at the big page. I brought my Love of Goodness, found in the 4th part in Kalist Patriarch’s Philo­cali­a, the words he said to me in memory, and began to read them. Here it is, the blind man shouted. Read, brother, how good it is. When I reached the line where it says “it is appropriate to pray with the heart,” he began to approach me: what does this mean? – And how is it done? I told him that all the teachings about heart prayer are laid out in detail in this same book, in Love of Goodness, – and he eagerly asked me to read it to him.

            We will do this, I said. Are you intending to go to Tver? Yes, even now, he answered. Here is what we will do. Tomorrow I plan to leave for the journey, and we will go with you together, and I will read you everything that concerns heart prayer, and show you how to search and enter into the heart’s place. But what about the transport? he asked. Well, how can there be any transport, if there is only a hundred and fifty versts to Tver, we will go slowly, and the two of you know how well it is to walk alone; and talking and reading about prayer while walking is more convenient.

So we agreed. In the evening, the gentleman himself came and called us all to dinner, and after dinner we announced that we were going to leave on a journey with the blind man, and that we did not need transport; it was more convenient to read Love of Goodness. At the same time, the gentleman began to talk: I also liked Love of Goodness very much; I have already written a letter, and prepared the money, so that tomorrow, when I go to court, I can send it to St. Petersburg, so that the first mail will send me Love of Goodness. So, the morning we left for the journey, thanked both these gentlemen for their exemplary love and compassion; and they both greeted us from their home a mile away. So we said goodbye.

Go on. We walked with him, and we were walking slowly, ten or twelve verst between us in a day, and the rest of the time we sat in separate places, reading Theobroma. I read everything to him about the heart prayer following the order given to me by the late Old Man, beginning with the book of Nikiforos the Monk, Gregory of Sinai, and so on. With what eagerness and attention he listened to all this, and how he liked it and how it pleased him! Then he began asking me questions about prayer that I did not even know how to answer. Having read what he needed from Theobroma, he began earnestly asking me to show him practically how to find the heart with the mind and how to bring the divine name of Jesus Christ into it, and how to genuinely pray internally. And I began to tell him: look, you do not see anything, but with your mind you can imagine and imagine what you have previously seen, that is, a person or a thing or your own limb, for example, a hand or a foot, you can imagine it as vividly as if you were looking at it, and you can direct and direct it even if it were blind. I can, the blind man replied. So imagine your heart, turn your eyes as if you were looking at it through your chest, and as quickly as possible imagine it, and with your ears, listen attentively to how it beats and hits once in a while. When you get used to this, start with the first beat to combine the prayer words with the beat you see in it. That way, with the first beat you say or think “Lord”, with the second “Jesus”, with the third “Christ”, with the fourth “forgive”, and with the fifth “me”, and repeat this many times. It is convenient for you, because you already have the beginning and the preparation for heart prayer. When you get used to this, start entering and removing the whole prayer of Jesus into your heart along with your breathing, as your fathers teach, that is, taking the air in, say, “Lord Jesus Christ”, and letting it out of yourself, “forgive me!” Work on this more often and more, and soon you will feel a subtle and pleasant pain in your heart, then there will be warmth and expansion in it. With God’s help, you will soon achieve self-pervading, joyful internal prayer of the heart. But at the same time, be very careful of visions in the mind, and any kinds. Do not accept any visions; the Holy Fathers firmly recommend to keep your eyes closed during internal prayer, so as not to fall into vanity.The blind man, having listened to all this with respect, began to act as instructed, and during the nights when we stopped for sleep, he would mostly spend a long time doing this. After a few days he began to feel a strong warmth and an indescribable joy in his heart, and also a great desire to keep on practicing this prayer, which would open up his love for Jesus Christ. At times, he would begin to see light, although he would not notice any objects or things in it; sometimes, when he entered his heart, he would imagine that a strong flame of a lit candle was burning sweetly inside his heart and was spilling out through his throat to illuminate it; and he could even see distant objects, as indeed happened once.I said to him: Love Jesus Christ and thank Him; but be careful to accept various visions as direct revelations of grace; for this often happens, and is natural. The human soul is relatively unrelated to place and matter. It can see in darkness, and even very far away, as if what is happening nearby were happening here. Only do we not give strength and vigour to this spiritual faculty, and we stifle it either by the constraints of our corporeal body or by the confusion of our thoughts and scattered thoughts. And when we concentrate on ourselves, become detached from everything around us, and become refined in mind, then the soul enters its proper sphere and functions to the highest extent, this is its nature. I heard from my deceased elderly father that not only devout people, but those who are capable of it, those who are pained, can see light in a dark room, and can distinguish objects as they emerge from all things, distinguish their double, and penetrate into the thoughts of others. And that when prayer comes directly from the grace of God, it is so delicious that no words can express it, and nothing material can be compared or likened to it; all sensory things are low in comparison with the sweet feelings of grace in the heart. My blind servant listened to this attentively, and became even more humble. The prayer in his heart developed more and more, and he found much pleasure in it. I was happy about this from the heart and thanked God that He has allowed me to see such a blessed servant of His.

Clearly, I was enjoying these feelings to an excessive degree, whether it was the exercise of God’s will or not, but after a while I felt some trembling and fear. Shouldn’t I have been having some more trouble or disaster, like with that girl to whom I taught the Jesus Prayer in the chapel? Thoughts came to me like a cloud, and I remembered the words of St. John of Karpafos, who says that whoever often teaches gives himself to defilement and endures troubles and temptations for those who have benefited spiritually from him. Faced with these thoughts, I intensified my prayer, which completely drove them away, and I was encouraged and said to myself, “Let it be God’s will! I’m willing to endure whatever Jesus Christ sends me for my sinfulness and pride.” And those whom I had just opened the secret of the inward entrance and inner prayer to were also prepared for our meeting by direct divine revelation. Peeved off by this, I resumed my journey with satisfaction and prayer and enjoyed the old self. The days following were rainy, and the road was so muddy that it was hard to pull my feet out of the dirt, and so I walked along and saw no village for miles; finally, at dusk, I saw a farmstead near the road, so I thought, “Here I’ll beg to spend the night and rest, and tomorrow, if God wills, maybe the weather will be better.”

“When I approached, I saw a drunken old man in a soldier’s uniform sitting by one of the houses on a porch, and I bowed to him and said, “Can I ask to spend the night here somewhere?” Who can let me but you? cried the old man, I’m in charge! This is the post office, and I’m on duty. So let me stay with you! And do you have an identity card? Give me a legal identity card. I gave him my ID, and he held it in his hands, but again he asked, “Where’s the identity card?” In your hands, I answered. Well, let’s go into the house. The guard put on his glasses, read it, and said, “It seems to be a legal look, but you may stay; after all, I’m a good person; here, let me give you a glass of brandy. I don’t drink this time,” I replied. Well, I don’t care, at least, let’s have dinner together. We sat down at the table, him and the cook, and the young old woman also quite drunk, and they sat me down with them. All through dinner they argued, scolded each other, and at the end they even fought. The guardian went to sleep in the barn in a box, and the cook began to clean up, put the dishes away, and scolded her old man.I sat down and thought to myself that she would not calm down soon, and I said to her, “Where shall I sleep, mother? I am tired from the road.” So I gave her a bed, Father, and by placing a bench against the front window, I spread the straw and put the headboard under it. I lay down and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. The maid-breadbaker lingered around a long time; at last she got up, put out the fire, and came to me. Suddenly the entire window, with its frame, glass, and fragments of the ledge, shattered with a terrifying clatter, the whole house shook, and a pitiful groan, cry, and baying sounded outside the window. My grandmother jumped in fright and fell to the floor. I got up without knowing it, thinking that the earth had opened beneath me. And there I saw two carters bringing a man, covered in blood, so that his face was not visible. This frightened me even more. It was the postmaster, who had come riding his horse to change horses there. The carter had failed to turn properly at the gate, had knocked the window with a jerky turn, and the carriage had overturned, so that the postmaster, falling, had smashed his head against the sharp yoke that was attached to the plough. The postmaster asked for water and wine to wash his wound, he put it on and drank a glass, and shouted, ‘Horses! I am ill, I am ill, I am ill,’ he would go on. There I stood by him, saying, ‘How can you ride with such a pain, my father?’ ‘I was ill once,’ the postmaster replied, and galloped off. The carters took my grandmother to the corner of the stove without a wavering heart, covered her with a blanket and said, ‘This is a vision she had from her fright; she will recover soon.’ The bartender had drunk hisakia and went on stoking the stove again. I was alone.

            Six years later, passing by a women’s monastery, I went into the church to pray. The abbess took me in after lunch and ordered a cup of tea. Suddenly, unexpected guests arrived; she went out to them, while leaving me with the sisters in the dormitory. The humble sister who served the tea aroused my curiosity by asking, “Have you been in this convent for a long time, Mother?” For fifteen years,” she replied, “I was brought here madly and God has been merciful to me here. The Mother Abbess left me in the dormitory and sent me to the cloister. What happened to you?” I asked. “I was panicked. I took a position at such a station, and during the night while I was sleeping, the horses kicked in the window, and I went crazy in fear. My relatives took me to different holy places for a whole year, and now I have only recovered here. Hearing this, I rejoiced with my soul and praised God, glorifying everything for the benefit of those who build.”

            There were many different incidents, said I, turning to my father. If I tell them in order, I will not be able to finish them in three days. If there is another opportunity to tell.

Meeting with a country priest and a pious girl

            On a clear summer day, I saw a cemetery near the road, or what is called a cemetery, that is, a church and some priestly houses. There was a benediction at noon; and I went there. The surrounding people were also going there; and others, not reaching the church, sat on the grass and, seeing me going there in a hurry, told me: “Do not hurry; you can still wait until the service begins; there they serve for a long time, the priest is sick, and he is very skinny.” Indeed, the service lasted a long time; the priest was young, but thin and pale, and he acted very slowly, but very piously, and at the end of the communion he gave a wonderful understandable sermon on the ways to acquire love for God.

The priest called me to himself for lunch. At the table I said to him: How reverently and long you serve, Father! He replied: Yes, although the parishioners do not like this and complain, but there is nothing to do; because I love every prayerful word with all my heart, and I enjoy it, and then I pronounce it aloud, and without inner feeling and compassion, every word spoken will be useless for one’s own sake and for others. The whole point is in inner life and attentive prayer! And how little people are engaged in inner work! That is because they do not want to, do not care about spiritual, inner education, the priest said. I asked again: and how can it be achieved? It seems very difficult. A lot of people do something to get enlightened spiritually and become attentive and inner people, he said. They should take one text from the Holy Scripture and focus all their attention and reflection on it for as long as possible, and the light of understanding will open up. The same thing should be done in prayer: if you want the prayer to be pure, correct and consoling, you should choose a short, few words, but strong, prayer, and repeat it many times and for a long time, and then you will taste the grace of prayer. I really liked this teaching of the priest, how it is practical and simple, but at the same time deep and wise! I mentally thanked God for showing me such a true shepherd of His Church.

I was a young and beautiful girl; my parents arranged my marriage, and the groom came to us, and, without taking a single step, he fell down and died, never even taking a breath! I was so frightened that I refused to marry and chose to live in virginity and go to holy places to pray to God. However, I was afraid to set out on the road if I was scolded by evil people during my youth. Here, an old woman, a wise woman, taught me to do the Jesus Prayer all the time, wherever I went on the road, and firmly assured me that no harm could happen to me on the road with this prayer. I believed her, and I walked safely, even to distant holy places; my parents gave me money to go there. At old age, I became ill, and this priest kindly takes care of me and provides for me. Healing from Sickness by the Prayer of Christ I was delighted to hear this, I did not know how to thank God for this day that opened such instructive examples before me. Then, after asking the good and pious priest for his blessing, I happily began my journey. Story of the Conversion of an Old Kazan Servant A little while ago, when I was passing through the Kazan province, I had the opportunity to learn how the power of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ is clearly and vividly revealed in those who engage in it unknowingly, and how the frequency and duration of prayer is the most certain and shortest way to achieve good. I had to spend the night in a Tatar village once. I entered the village and saw a cart and a Russian driver standing outside a house. The horses were feeding near the cart. Seeing this, I thought that at least I could spend the night with Christians. I approached the driver and asked who was traveling. He replied that the master was passing through from Kazan to the Crimea. As we were talking to the driver, the master pulled back the curtain, looked at me, and said: I am also staying here for the night, but I did not go into the house, because it is very bad in the Tatars, and I decided to stay in the cart for the night. Then the master went for a walk, and it was a good evening, and we talked. Among many inquiries, he told me the following about himself: until the age of sixty-five, I served in the fleet as a captain of the first rank; in old age, I fell victim to an incurable disease, gout, and, having retired, I lived on a farm in the Crimea with my wife, almost constantly ill. My wife was a hemiplegic, of a dissipated nature, and a great gambler. She became bored living with me the sick man, and she left me, taking with her not only her servants, but also my eight-year-old godson. Hearing this story, I knew what to do and went to the place where she lived. There I met an old man who had previously been a slave on a farm in the Iberian country. This old man developed a profound love for my God and Jesus Christ after confessing my sins. I invited this old man to pray together with me and share his experience. We prayed for an hour and a half. We then began the following prayer.

          So I lived alone for about three years. The boy who served me had quick wits and did all my housework, cleaned my room, stoked the stove, cooked my porridge, and poured tea for me himself. But at the same time, he was an extremely lively and restless creature, constantly running around, knocking, shouting, and playing, and he bothered me a lot; and I, due to my illness and boredom, always loved to read spiritual texts. I had a wonderful book by Gregory Palami about the Lord’s Prayer: I almost constantly read it, and gradually I also prayed. My boy disturbed me, and no threats or punishments could keep him from his mischievous antics. Well, I invented this method. I started sitting him down in my room on a chair and telling him to say the Lord’s Prayer incessantly. At first, he did not like it at all, and he tried to avoid it however he could, often falling silent.

Then I began to say to the man: “Precious, my Father, the book of the Reverend Gregory Palamas, which you wanted to read, I know it. But in it, more and more, only the jawless prayer of Jesus is discussed, but read the book called  Dobrotolyubstvo; there you will find the complete and perfect doctrine of how to achieve the spiritual prayer of Jesus in the mind and heart and taste its most delicious fruit; at the same time, I showed him my  Dobrotolyubie. He, I noticed, was pleased to accept my advice and promised to get a copy of this book.

            Oh, my God, I reflected within myself, what amazing phenomena of God’s power there are from this prayer! And how wise and instructive this incident is; the boy’s severe training in prayer, and it also served as a means of consolation! Are not the same severe tests of God’s strength on our praying path? And why do we fear and be distressed when our heavenly Father’s hand, full of boundless love, shows us them, and when these tests teach us to study prayer more diligently and lead us to an inexpressible consolation?”

When I finished telling these stories, I said to my spiritual father: Forgive me, for the sake of God, I have spoken too much, and the holy fathers call such a conversation, though spiritual, but exaggerated, “talking too much”. I have to go to see my fellow traveler from Jerusalem. I beg you to pray for me, a wretched sinner, so that the Lord, in His great mercy, may arrange my path for the good.

Always may he be wished well, my dear brother in Christ, he replied. And the loving grace of God may illuminate your path and accompany you, just as the angel Raphael accompanied you.

Found in the spiritual treasures of the Holy Fathers

      Your words are hidden in my heart ( Ps .119, 11).

    &cpnbspEvil strives to take hold of the mind by all means ( Caesar .Chapter 19).

      If each person has his own particular qualities, tendencies and abilities, then the attainment of one and the same goal occurs along different paths, in different ways, under different influences. So, the attainment of the goal of inner prayerful activity is achieved through many different paths, as the Holy Fathers see.

            One of these ways is common both for success in prayer and for success in the Christian life, as follows:   unconditional obedience, as Simeon the Theologian says;   labor of charity and asceticism, as the Church proclaims in her hymns: “you have found it, divinely inspired, in your visions of the East (Troparium Hagiographicon), external prayer for interior prayer: Lord, teach us to pray, special graces, such as: an elderly woman named Capso Catalina once touched the icon of the Mother of God, after two years of prayer to Her, suddenly felt sweetness and warmth that fell into her heart; a young man named George, during simple prayer, suddenly saw an inner light and accepted the continuous automatic prayer, and so on.

            There are also other essential ways to interior prayer that seem to belong directly to it. There are three of them, as we find in the Holy Fathers.

            1) Part of the call to the name of Jesus Christ; 2) attention to this calling; and 3) accession into oneself, or, as the Fathers of the Church express it, the entry of the mind into the heart.

            Since these methods primarily quickly and conveniently open the kingdom of God to us and reveal the treasure of interior spiritual prayer in our heart, it is quite appropriate to call them the keys to this intimate ark.

First key: Call of the name of Jesus Christ

< p class = ” wp-block-paragraph ” > If quantity leads to quality, then a frequent, almost continuous calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, even if it is initially scattered, can lead to the attention and warmth of the heart; since the human nature can acquire a certain mood through frequent use and habit. To learn to do something well, you must do it much more often, said one spiritual writer; and St. Isaac says that frequency gives rise to habit and appeals to nature (chap. 7). This, as experience teaches, occurs in relation to inner prayer in the following way: the one who desires to attain inner prayer decides to call God’s name frequently, almost continuously, that is, to say the Lord’s Prayer: “O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner; sometimes he shortens it, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” as St. Gregory of Sinai teaches. He adds that the shortened invocation is more convenient for the novice, but does not rule out either one or the other, advising only not to change the prayer verbs very often, to get used to the invocation more easily. And in order to even more stimulate the constant production of prayer, the student considers himself in a rule, looking at the time, a certain number of times to invoke, that is, so many hundred or thousand prayers to be pronounced by pen in a day and at night, not hastily, but speaking, forcing the tongue and the lips. After some time, the lips and the tongue of the skilled person acquire such a habit and as a self-movement, they move by themselves with the name of God, even without a voice. Finally, the reason may listen to this movement of the tongue and gradually purify itself from dispersion and come to attention to prayer. Finally, it can follow the weakness of the reason in the heart, as the Fathers say, that is, the mind, having turned to the heart, heats it with the warmth of divine love, and the heart itself is free, without force, with ineffable joy to invoke the name of Jesus Christ and pour out its plea, “My heart watches” (Heb. 4:6). The fruitfulness of frequent reasonable calling upon the name of Jesus Christ is wonderfully expressed by St. Isaac: “Like the rain that showers on the earth, it enriches the soil and nurtures it; similarly, the name of Jesus Christ, when we call upon it willingly, works fruitfully on the soil of our heart and delights it.”

            Although the method shown, based on the experiences and observations of the Fathers, is sufficient to guide us conveniently to the desired goal of inner prayer, there are still higher methods, namely: attention and introduction of the reason into the heart. This first method belongs primarily to those who have not yet been accustomed to attention and are not yet able to work successfully on the heart, or it can also be an introduction and supposition to the following methods. However, depending on the nature and abilities of each person, that which is most convenient for him, he or she chooses, as Nicholas the Hermit says.

Second key: The attention of the reason in the heart

Awareness is the maintenance (preservation) of reason, as Nikifor the ascetic expressed it, or awareness is the gathering of reason on itself, and its deepening in some object, while leaving all extraneous thoughts and concepts. As it is necessary when engaged in prayer, this is what the holy Fathers of Callist and Ignatius assure us, citing the words of St. Nil Posnyk, that awareness, which seeks prayer, inevitably draws it to itself; because prayer follows in many ways more than that of the unworthy, it is worthwhile to take care of it (The Glory of the Heart). This is similar to what St. Isaac says: as you listen intently to your thoughts, Mount Sinai will be eager to pray (Chapter 90); and furthermore: the atmosphere of heartfelt joy and peace is filled by intense awareness (Chapter 91), which “is as essential for prayer as a lamp for a lamp-flame” (Chapter 102). Like Nikifor the Ascetic, who developed the doctrine on internal prayer, he finally concludes that if it is not convenient for him to follow the example given by the elders, he should use every possible attention to prayer, which, without any doubt, will open the heart’s entrance and promote internal prayer, as the First Holy Scripture confirms this truth, that without attention it is impossible to commune with God, saying: Depart from and understand that I am God.

         Thus, anyone who wishes to reach internal prayer by the aid of attention must keep as much as possible to solitude, avoid conversations with people, perform prayer not hastily and not in a rush, but with some arrangement, deepen his mind in the prayer phrases in such a way as when attentively reading a book, sometimes calling, and are praying for his repentance, which he asks for: sometimes, having created one prayer, he keeps silent for a while, as if waiting for God’s response, trying to keep his attention both when he is distracted and always remembering that he has decided to be in continuous attention to prayer, in purifying the mind from thoughts.

Third key: Calm breathing and rhythm

         The third key is entering into oneself or into the heart. Without extending our reasoning on this, we will present an image and the teachings of the holy Fathers about self-penetration and entering into the heart, by the methods they have tried, as faithful guides to true spiritual interior prayer. We will present the instructions of the holy Fathers here in their own words, with the following arrangement for ease:

The first line will be composed of the Fathers who left us a complete instruction on the Lord’s prayer, as follows: 1) St. Symeon the New Theologian, 2) Gregory of Sinai, 3) Nikifor the Monk, and 4) the monks Callist and Ignatius.

         The second row – the Fathers who left short expressions on interior prayer, which are:

First group of instructions

1) The instructions of St. Symeon the New Theologian

St. Symeon the New Theologian describes the way to enter the heart in the image of the third prayer, in the 68th word (page 163, in the Russian second edition):

            The third image of prayer is truly amazing and unfathomable, and for those who have not experienced it, it is not only inconvenient, but even seems incredible. Indeed, in our time, this image of prayer is met with few people, while they are thwarted by the insidious methods that the demons use to distract the mind to a wide variety of thoughts. Because then the mind, being free of everything, has the opportunity to explore the thoughts that are being thrown by the demons, and with great ease to expel them and bring prayers to God with a pure heart.

    &cpAfter describing the conditions for success in this image of prayer – complete obedience, and maintaining a pure conscience both towards God and towards people, and towards things, and always doing everything as if one were before God – he continues: 

And thus we should make our way to the third form of prayer, which is as follows: the mind should keep the heart at all times while it is praying, and let it circle around inside, and let it send prayers to God from that depth of the heart. That is it; do so until you taste the Lord. When the mind is there, at the heart’s core, and the heart feels that it is good in the Lord’s presence, it will not want to move away from that place; then it will say, like St. Peter, “It is good for us to be here, and we will always look in this direction at the heart and circle around within it, dispersing all the thoughts that the devil injects.”

            Three things should be kept in mind first of all: care for everything, even the blessed, not only the unblessed and worldly, or else death to everything, a pure conscience in everything, so that it does not betray you in anything, and perfect impartiality, so that your mind does not hail anything. Then sit in a special silent place alone, close the door, turn your mind away from any fleeting and mundane thing, bow your head with your head, and thus keep your attention within yourself (not in your head, but in your heart), turning your mind there and your perceptive eyes, and restraining them. Having your mind there, try in every way to find it where the heart is, so that when you find it, your mind is already completely there. First you will find a darkness there, and hardness; but then, if you continue this practice of unceasing attention day and night, you will experience some unceasing joy. The mind, by practicing this, will reach the place of the heart, and then immediately will see things inside that it has never seen or known. From that moment, from whatever side any thought arises and appears, before it enters in and thinks, or appears, the mind will immediately drive it away and destroy it with the name of Jesus, that is, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! From that moment, the mind will begin to have wrath on demons, to chase them and destroy them. Otherwise, what usually follows this work, with God’s help, you will learn from experience yourself, by keeping attention and holding Jesus, that is, his prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

2) Instructions of Saint Grigory the Theologian

Saint Grigory the Theologian sets out the teaching on inner prayer in the heart and on the way to skill in it in his three articles on silence and prayer, which are included in the Dobrotolubie Part 1, pp. 112-119. Here is an abbreviated extract from them:

            We should take the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, in a pure prayer in the heart, and speak with the Lord like cherubim; but we, not understanding the greatness, honor and glory of the grace of the Resurrection, and not caring to grow spiritually through the fulfillment of the commandments, and to rise to the state of understanding contemplation, fall into negligence, because of which we fall into the abyss of senselessness and darkness. It also happens that we do not even bother to wonder whether God exists, and what we are to be, as divine children by grace, we do not know at all. We believe, but we have an inactive faith, and after the renewal of the spirit in baptism, we do not cease to live in the flesh. If, on occasion, we repent and begin to fulfill the commandments, then we fulfill them only externally, not spiritually, and we alienate ourselves from spiritual life, because the manifestations of it in others seem to us wrongs and mistakes. In this way, we remain spiritually dead until death, living and acting not for Christ, and not in accordance with the definition that one who is born of the spirit is to be spiritual.

At the same time, the profession of faith in Christ that we received at baptism is not obliterated, but only buried, like a treasure in the ground. And prudence and gratitude require us to take care that it be unearthed and made manifest. How is this done?
The two ways leading to this are as follows: first, this gift is revealed through the diligent fulfilment of the commandments, so that as we fulfil the commandments, the more this gift manifests its splendor and its splendour; secondly, it comes to light and is revealed by the unceasing calling of the Lord Jesus, or, what is the same, by the unceasing remembrance of God. The first method is powerful; but the second is more powerful, so that the first is strengthened thereby. Therefore, if we sincerely wish to reveal the seed of grace hidden within us, let us hasten to acquire this last spiritual exercise and have this one matter of prayer at the centre of our hearts, not in an empty and superficial way, until it has heated our hearts and inflamed them with an ineffable love for the Lord.

        If the mind becomes weak in such work, and the body and heart become ill from the constant upheaval brought on by the frequent calling of the Lord Jesus, then stand up and sing, or meditate on something in Scripture, or remember death, or read, or do needlework, or something else.

When you embark on this work of prayer, it is proper for you to read only such books that expound the teachings of the inner life, about sobriety and prayer, namely, the Ladder of Jacob the Syrian, the words of Isaac the Syrian, the ascetic books of Maximus the Confessor, Simeon the New Theologian, Hyssias, Philo of Sinai, and others. Leaves all other kinds of literature until a later time, not because they are bad, but because it is not appropriate for you to engage in them with your present dispositions and aspirations: they may distract your mind from prayer. Read little, but with deepening and comprehension.

        Do not neglect prayer either. Some keep a great rule of prayer, others abandon prayer altogether, praying to the Lord with one reasonable prayer. You should choose the middle ground: do not take on many prayers, because that is confusing, but do not abandon them, in case of weakness or relaxation. If you see that prayer works in you and does not cease to move in your heart, do not abandon it and do not take up the prayer book. This would mean leaving God inside, going out and extending the conversation to him from outside. For those who do not yet have the action of prayer, it is necessary to pray much and even abundantly, in order to be constantly engaged in this multi-prayer and varied prayer, until the heart warms up through such painful work of prayer and the action of prayer begins in it. For those who finally taste this grace, it is necessary to pray in moderation, and to be more in rational prayer, as the fathers ordered. In the event of relaxation of the inner self, it is necessary to pray or read the writings of the Fathers. Excessive use of instruments of adornment, when the wind has swelled the sails: they are needed when the wind dies down and the boat stops.

        The great weapon has against enemies he who, in prayer, keeps his shattered crying, so that he does not fall into conceit because of the joy offered by prayer. He who preserves such a joy-full cry, will avoid all harm. True, not a magical inner prayer is that in which the warmth, coming from the prayer of Jesus, pours fire into the earth of the heart and kindles passions, like a torch. It brightens the soul with all the joys and the world, and comes not from the fair or populated land, nor even from above, but breaks out from the heart, like a spring of water, from the life-giving Spirit. Love this prayer alone and go to gain it in your heart, keeping your mind always awake. With it, do not fear anything; for He Who said: Rejoice, I will not fear, is with us.

3) Instructions by Nicholas the Monk

            Nicholas the Monk expresses his teaching on entering the heart in his article on sobriety and keeping the heart (The Good Part 2, p. 36-43).

            Those of you who wish to receive the fire of the heavenly heart in feeling, and to spiritually know what the kingdom of heaven is, come, I will tell you the science of heavenly life, or rather the art that effortlessly and painlessly leads the doer into the shelter of impartiality. Through our fall we have gone astray; let us return to ourselves, turning away from the outside. Reconciliation and kinship with God is impossible for us, unless we first return to ourselves and enter within. Only inner life is truly Christian life. All the Fathers testify to this.

            So, a brother asked Agathon the Old: what is more important, bodily labour or the keeping of the heart? The Elder answered: man is like a tree; bodily labour is the foliage, and the keeping of the heart is the fruit. Since, according to Scripture, every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire, it is evident that you should devote all your care to the fruit, that is, to the keeping of the heart. But for us, both foliage and bodily labour are necessary.

            St. Basil says: “Close the doors of the cell for the body, the doors of the mouth for the tongue, and the inner doors for malicious spirits. Sit in an elevated place (that is, fix your attention on the heart) and observe, if you are skilled, which ones and in what number come to the Father to enter the vineyard of your heart and to choke the grapes. Having worked diligently, the attendant (that is, the listener of the heart), getting up to pray, then sits down again and bravely takes up the same work (that is, the attention to the heart and prayer).”

            St. Macarius the Elder teaches: “The main task of the ascetic is to enter his heart, to create a struggle with Satan and to resist his temptations, to struggle against him.”

            St. Isaac the Syrian writes: “Go and enter your inner treasury, and there you will find the heavenly treasure. The lion’s den is hidden within you, that is, in your heart. Therefore, wash yourself of sin, and enter into your heart: there you will acquire the degrees by which you can ascend to the heights.”

            Here is the saying of Carpathius: much effort and labour are necessary in prayers to find an unwavering state of thoughts, that is, another heavenly heart, in which Christ lives, as the Apostle says: “Do you not know that Christ lives in you?”

The heart of St. Simeon the New Theologian says: Since man was banished from Paradise and separated from God, the devil, together with demons, has obtained freedom day and night to invisibly disturb the imaginary powers of each human being. The only way to protect oneself from this temptation is through constant remembrance of God. Anyone whose mind is occupied with God can preserve his reasoning powers from distraction. Thus, all the saints teach us. This is the greatest work that nearly everyone has learned from others through instruction; very few received it directly from God, for the sake of their faith, by means of bitter torment. Therefore, we must seek a teacher who knows the subject. If there is no such teacher, we must call upon God for help in the shaking of our hearts and in tears, and do what I tell you.

            Together with such a full and joyful entrance into the heart and worthy of his attention, all the virtues will come to you: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, and others.

4) Instructions of Kallist and Ignatii Xantopul

            Kallist and Ignatii Xantopul depict their teachings about the internal healing of the heart in a total of one hundred articles contained in Dobrotuluviia (part 2, pp. 56-131). Here is the main thing for us to remember:

            The beginning of life with God is zeal and every diligent effort to live by the saving commandments of Christ; the end becomes perfectly what is contained in us by the divine grace of baptism, or as St. Paul says: “My child, lay aside the old man with his works and lusts, and put on the new man, who is being created according to God” (Eph. 4:22-24).

            When we are baptized, says St. Zlatousts, then our soul is brighter than the sun, pure and cleansed by the Holy Spirit. Like pure silver lying in front of the sun’s rays, and itself emits rays of light; not by its nature, but by its illumination by the sun; so the soul, purified in baptism, receives rays of glory from the Spirit, and is itself innately glorious. However, unfortunately! This glory, indescribable and awesome, is only in us for a day or two, but then we extinguish it by bringing a storm of life’s concerns and passionate deeds.

            In the divine baptisms, that is, in the sacred font, we receive the perfect divine grace. If, after this, we conceal it under the dust of life’s concerns and passions, then we can restore it and purify it by penance and the performance of divine commandments, and see its natural brightness. This happens according to each person’s faith and fervor of effort to live by faith, especially with the blessing of the Lord Jesus Christ. St. Mark says: Christ, the perfect God, gave this perfect grace to those who were baptized, the grace of the Spirit, which does not ask any program from us; it is revealed in us and is clearly manifested in the measure of the fulfillment of the commandments, until we reach the fulfillment of Christ in the measure of ages.

Let us, then, seeing our own weakness and placing all our hope in the Lord, and having loved the precepts with a readiness to fulfil them rather than to break one of them, devote all our efforts to becoming habituated and established in this continuous invocation of the saving name of the Lord, which is destructive of every evil and constructive. In order to assimilate this work, the holy fathers pointed out a special exercise, calling it an art or even the art of arts. Here we present the natural art of St. Nicholas, concerning how to enter the heart by breathing, which greatly helps in concentrating the thoughts. The rule is this: sit in a secluded place, concentrate your mind, bring it into the heart by breathing, and, pausing there in attention, keep saying incessantly: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me!” Continue in this way until this invocation becomes habitual to the heart.

             Thus, all the Holy Fathers taught. Saint Zosimus says: I beg you, brethren, never cease to fulfill this rule of prayer. In another place he says: Everyone who eats or drinks, or sits, or serves, or travels, or does anything else, should always cry out: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, and the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, going to the depths of his heart, should still the evil spirits. But cease constantly in the invocation of the name of the Lord Jesus, so that the heart may grasp the Lord and the Lord the heart, and may the two become one. And he says again: Do not separate your heart from God, but keep it always enveloped in the remembrance of our Lord Jesus Christ, until the name of the Lord is placed within the heart, and do not think of anything else except that Christ may be enlarged in you. Saint Lysistrata says: Lord Jesus, may the remembrance be united with your breath. And Saint Isaac writes: If you wish to cover up with shame the thoughts of others and be constantly sober in your heart, may the prayer to the Lord Jesus come to rest within your breath, and in a few days you will see your desires fulfilled.

             Let it be known that if we teach our mind to go together with our breath into the heart, we will also observe that as it goes there, it becomes single and naked, holding only one remembrance and invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ, but on the contrary, as it comes out and drags itself to the external things, it divides itself into many images and recollections. To preserve this simplicity and oneness of the mind and to show that it is preserved by the experience of prayer, the fathers have ordered that the one who aspired to master the practice of sobriety of the mind in the heart should sit in a silent and dark place, especially at the beginning of this good work. For the sight of external objects is naturally a source of dispersion of thoughts. When a silent and dark cell hides the external from us, the mind ceases to wander and is more easily gathered together, as St. Basil says: The mind, which does not spread its thoughts to the world, returns to itself.

             Observe carefully that the essence of this work consists in a one-minded, heartfelt, pure and not broad invocation with faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, and not in the mere fact of going into the heart through breathing and sitting in a silent and dark place. All this and the like have been devised by the Fathers, not for any other purpose than to find some means of gathering the thoughts together and bringing them back to themselves from the usual scatterings. By the practice of being gathered together and of listening to one’s own thoughts, a practice of pure and unostentatious prayer with the mind in the heart is already born.

            Знайте також, що всі таке пристосовування тіла диктується, визначається детальними правилами і вважається необхідним, поки не зникне чиста і не зійде в серце молитва. Коли ж завдяки милосердю і благодаті Господа нашого Ісуса Христа досягнеш цього, тоді, залишивши багато і різноманітні діяння, будеш більше схилятися з єдиним словом до єдиного Господа чистою і непаливною молитвою серця, не потребуючи таких пристосувань.

            Therefore, if you want to be saved by doing the work of Christ Jesus, try to achieve the fact that at any time and at any hour, and in every situation, you should pray to the Lord in your heart purely and without passion, so that in this way you will be able to learn to speak as a man, in accordance with the age.

            Do not forget, however, that when pure and uncontaminated prayer comes to you at times, you should by no means undermine it with your rules of prayer. Thus, Filimon teaches: whether it is night or day, the Lord will give you the grace to experience a pure and uncontaminated prayer, so that you should leave your rules and try your best to cling to the Lord God, and He will enlighten your heart in the spiritual work.

            When you achieve a permanent abiding of prayer in your heart, as Isaac the Syrian says, you have reached the end of all virtues and have become the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit; then prayer will not cease, whether you are sitting or walking, eating or drinking, or doing anything else; even in deep sleep, prayer fragrances will descend from the heart with ease; if it is silent in a dream, it will nevertheless secretly and constantly operate with the Holy Spirit, ceasing never to stir.

Second group of instructions

1) Additions of Isaac the Hermit

            1) A contemplation is a continuous silence of the soul, in which it follows Christ Jesus, the Son of God and God himself, it breathes constantly and constantly calls him, fights against his enemies with fortitude, and has the power to confess his sins. (confess them).

            2) Abstinence is the firm establishment and stationing of reason at the door of the heart; so that it sees how other thoughts come on, these thieves, hears what they say and do, and discerns the demons they draw up and surround with images, trying to capture the mind through dreams and seduce it. If we find it difficult to withstand such an action, it will clearly show us the technique of mental retching (cap. 6).

3) The images of sobriety are: the first is to look at idleness with no interest in it, or following an example; the second is to have a heart that is deeply silent and silent to all thoughts, and to pray; the third is to continually call upon the help of the Lord Jesus Christ in humility; the fourth is to constantly remember death in your heart; the fifth is the most effective of all, to always look to heaven and not blame the earth for anything. (chapters 14-18) 4) For those who work within, it is necessary at every moment to have four actions: humility, great attention, opposition to reasonings, and prayer. Humility – so that, since the devil comes with enemies in the form of arrogant demons, you always have the help of Christ at hand; for the Lord hates the proud. Attention – so that you always keep your heart free of any thought, even if it seems good. Opposition – so that, as soon as the keen vision of reason perceives who has come, you immediately oppose the cunning with anger, saying: “And I counter evil with evil, but will my soul be guilty of God?” Prayer – to immediately pour out from the depths of your heart a soul-wrenching cry to Christ. Then the person who is engaged in this activity will see how the enemy, with his delusions, becomes as thin air, or as smoke, when he is exposed by the worship of the Lord Jesus. (chapter 20) 5) Those who do not have a prayer free of reasonings do not have a weapon against the tempter, the prayer I say is the one that is without ceasing working in the inner secrets of the soul and that, with the calling of the Lord Jesus Christ, wars with and warms up the enemy who is hidden. (chapter 21) 6) You must look with a sharp and intense gaze of reason into your own being, to discover the intruders. As soon as you discover them, you must immediately use the reasoning art to strangle the head of the serpent, and at the same time cry to Christ with soul-wrenching longing. And you will then experience the invisible divine battle of God. (chapter 22) 7) If you are with humble meditation, with remembrance of death, self-restraint, opposition to reasonings, and with the calling of Jesus Christ, you are always in your heart, and with these tools you walk the imaginary road that is narrow but joyful and sweet, you will enter the holy contemplation of the saints, “where the hidden treasures of wisdom and discernment are.” For, regarding Christ Jesus, you will feel that the Holy Spirit has come into your spirit, through whom man is enlightened to see the glory of the Lord with an unveiled face. (chapter 29)8) The devil walks around like a roaring lion with his troops, calling out to devour whom he can. Let us never cease in our heart to pay close attention, to be sober, to take counsel by thought, and to pray to our Lord Jesus Christ, our God. For there is no better help than that of Jesus alone; He alone is Lord and God, knowing the insidious ways, the devices and the guises of demons (cf. ch. 39).13) The experienced David says to the Lord: “I will keep my kingdom in your hands.” In the same way, the preservation of our inner and external peace, from which all virtues are born, depends on the help of the Lord, who has given us the Commandments, and who repels from us, whenever we implore him, the unnecessary forgetfulness that most frequently causes the destruction of inner peace, like water to fire. Therefore, do not sleep thoughtlessly into ruin for yourself, but, in the name of Jesus, beat your adversaries with a rod. This is the sweetest name, and it enlivens your breath; then you will come to understand the benefit of inner peace (chapter 100).17) A wonderful fruit for the mind is silence, in which sins knock first on the mind only with thoughts, so that, if they are accepted by the heart, they later become rude sins of the senses. All are held back by the inner virtue of chastity, chastity, which does not allow them to enter and enter and gain entrance to Jesus Christ (Chapter 111).

            18) Just as valleys abundantly give grain, so the prayer of Jesus abundantly yields in your heart every good thing. Or rather, the Lord our Jesus Christ himself gives it to you, without whom we can accomplish nothing. First you will find it on the ladder, then in a book, which you will read, and finally, growing more and more, you will find it in the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the King of power with His only-begotten Father and the glorified Holy Spirit (Chapter 117).

            19) The soul, having ascended after death to the gate of the heavenly gates, will not be daunted by its enemies, having Christ with it. But even then, as now, it will boldly exclaim to them at the gate. Only till the end of its life, let it not be weary day and night, praying to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and He will soon create vengeance for it through a false divine oath that He uttered in the parable of the unjust judge: May she soon be avenged – both in this life and after it has left the body (Chapter 149).

            20) If, starting with thinking with the mind, we combine with sobriety the humility that leads to victory, and unite prayer with victory, we will walk well with the name of Jesus Christ, which is the lamp of light. If we rely on our sobriety or mind, soon we will be overcome by the attacks of our enemies and fall, being cast out. And then, the insidious thieves will begin to overcome us everywhere, and we will begin to be more and more entangled by evil desires, like nets, or we will be subsumed to their perfect enslavement, lacking the winning sword, the name of Jesus Christ. For only this consecrated sword, when constantly rotated in the heart, which has been exempt from every image, can turn them back again and scourge, sweeten and eat, like a fire that burns hay (Chapter 152).

21) On the right, the necessary sobriety is abundant and rich, and it is immediately possible to see delusive thoughts arising in the mind. The right word is to expose and expose the thought that made an assault on the air of our reason through the imagining of some sensory object. The same thing that immediately extinguishes and disperses any intention of adversaries, any dream, any idol, and any pillar of wickedness, is the call of the Lord (Chapter 153). And we ourselves see how strongly Jesus, our great God, strikes them and protects us who are humble, poor, and unworthy of anything (Chapter 168). 22) A ship does not sail many miles without water; neither can it succeed in preserving the mind without sobriety with humility and constant Jesus prayer (Chapter 168). 23) From incessant mental prayer, the air of the heart is cleansed of the clouds of darkness and the winds of devilish anger. When the air of the heart is clean, nothing prevents the divine light of Jesus from shining in it, unless we rise up in pride and doubt, are carried away to the unattainable, and are deprived of Jesus’ help; because Christ hates this, being an example of humility (Chapter 175). 24) Just as it is not proper to write letters in the air, but to cut them on a solid surface so that they can last for a long time, so a heavy sobriety must unite our prayer with Jesus, so that the beautiful virtue of sobriety, together with Him, may be complete in us, and through Him in Him. 183). 25) The preservation of the mind with God’s help and for the sake of the one God who acts, established in the soul, provides the mind with wisdom to carry out acts of devotion to God; it also provides the man with the ability to organize external affairs and words for God with flawless reasoning (Chapter 194). 26) Blessed indeed is he who has so closely and so imperceptibly clung to Jesus prayer in thought, imploring Him without ceasing in the heart, just as the air clings to our bodies, or as the flame to the candle. The sun, passing over the earth, makes the day, and the holy and revered Immanuel of the Lord Jesus, always shining in the heart, gives rise to a multitude of sunlike thoughts (Chapter 196). 27) When the clouds are dispersed, the air is clean; but when the sun of truth, Jesus Christ, disperses the passionate dreams, then the heavenly and luminous thoughts are usually born in the heart through the sanctification of Jesus’ air (Chapter 197).

2) Voices of Filoetia Synaiiskaya

            1) The Creator of piety has such language, and the purpose of his reason is to completely silence in the heart the memory of God, like a marguerite or a precious stone. It helps to abandon everything, even the body, and to despise true life, in order to acquire the One God in one’s heart (Ch. 1).

            2) From the morning one should stand firmly and steadfastly before the doors of the heart, with a constant memory of God and unceasing Jesus Christ prayer in the soul, using this thought to slaughter all the sinners of the earth, that is, with a faithful, intense, and gracefully attractive memory of God to cultivate, (Ch. 2).

            3) Temperance is rightly called a path, because it leads to the kingdom, and to the one inside us, and to the future – and a wise Creator (a spiritual craftsman), because it produces and polishes spiritual customs, and transforms passionately into impassionate. It is also like a bright window through which God looks into the mind (Ch. 3).

            4) Where there is humility, memory of God with sobriety and attention, and often prayer directed against enemies, there is the place of God, or the heart’s heaven, in which the host of demons fears to stand because God lives in that place (Ch. 4).

            5) The first doors leading to Jerusalem of the mind are the wise silence of the lips, although the mind has not yet become silent; the second is moderate moderation in food, drink, and sleep; the third is what purifies the mind and the body, unceasing memory and contemplation of death (Ch. 6).

            6) Sweet memory of God, that is, of Jesus Christ, with a deadly rage of the heart and a saving hostility (to all that is evil), usually dissolves all the charms of thoughts, various suggestions, words and dreams, shameful imaginations, and, in short, everything that is hostile to our souls. Jesus, when called, easily destroys everything. For no one else has salvation except Christ Jesus. This is what the Savior himself said, saying: Without me you can do nothing (Ch. 22).

            7) At every moment and at every instant, we will observe every day and every moment by keeping our hearts free from thoughts that darken the spiritual mirror in which we should print and light ourselves with Jesus Christ, who is the wisdom and the power of God the Father. Let us unceasingly seek the kingdom of heaven within our hearts; and, of course, we will find the very secret within ourselves, the seed, the marble, the wine, and everything else, if we cleanse the eye of our intellect. For this reason, our Lord Jesus Christ said: “The kingdom of God is within you” (chap. 23), understanding through this divinity that dwells within the heart.

            8) In the direction of inner vigilance, do this: combine prayer with sobriety, and sobriety will strengthen prayer, and prayer sobriety. Sobriety, constantly watching everything within, notices how enemies try to enter there, and, by fortifying them with its own force, calls for the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, so that He may drive these evil soldiers away. In this vigilance, there is a threat of entrance in the form of contradiction; and Jesus, being called, drives the demons out with their dreams (chap. 25).

            9) With extreme vigilance, keep your intellect. As soon as you notice an evil thought, immediately deny it, but at the same time hasten to call upon the Lord Jesus Christ for vengeance. The most sweet Jesus, when you speak, will say: “Behold, I am with you to give you help.” But even after your prayer and all these enemies have been subdued, continue to listen attentively to your intellect. Behold, again waves of thoughts, multiplied by the previous ones, will fall upon you one after another, so that the soul seems to be immersed in abyss and ready to perish. But Jesus, aroused by His disciples, again as God forbids the evil winds of thoughts and they subside. And you, having found freedom from the attacks of the evil, for an hour or a minute, glorify Him Who saved you, and delve into thoughts of death (chap. 26).

            10) With every heartfelt attention in the spiritual state, you will carry your path. Attention and prayer, being combined together every day, do something resembling a fire Iliine chariot, raising to heavenly heights the one to whom they are related. And what do I say? In the one who has stabilised in sobriety, a pure heart becomes a spiritual heaven, with its own sun, moon and stars, being the abode of the inconceivable God in mystical vision and ascension (enchantment of the intellect) (chap. 27).

3) Words of Foolipot, Metropolitan of Filadelfia

1) The setting of the sun makes it night; and when Christ departs from the soul, it is beset by the darkness of the passions, and unreasoning beasts begin to terrorize it. The sun rises in outward sensations, and the beasts hide in their dens. Christ illumines the mind that prays; and every world of that world departs, and reason goes to its proper work, that is, to the divine instruction before evening (letter 45).8) Believe me, I tell you the truth, that if in your every work you constantly have as your mother the supplication for every good thing, then it does not go out until it shows you the orbit of it, draws you inside it, and performs ineffable glory and joy. It clears all impediments, smooths the path of virtue, and makes it comfortable for those who seek it (Letter 48).

            5) The Lord said: Ask and it shall be given to you. Pray to the All-Good God, let Him send you the Holy Spirit of Comforter, and he who has come, will teach you all things and reveal all the mysteries to you. Find Him in your guide; He will not allow distractions or dispersions in your heart, nor will He allow idle thoughts, wandering, or idleness to come into your mind. He will enlighten your eyes, strengthen your heart, and raise your mind. Adhere to Him, believe in Him, and love Him (Response No. 136).

            6) When you see that the alliance of the enemy is preventing you from praying, do not enter into a debate with him, but try to invoke the name of God, and God will help you and destroy the tricks of the enemy (Response No. 424).

            7) Praying perfectly consists in a person talking to God, without letting his thoughts wander. In this state, when a person dies to all people, to the world and to everything that is in it, he has nothing in his mind except what he expects from God and talks to Him about (Response No. 79).

2) When infamy appeared in Alexandria and its surroundings, he left and went to Nikanor’s Lavra. The god-loving Pavich gave him his secluded place and arranged for him to be in complete silence. For a whole year he would not have let anyone see him, and he himself hardly bothered him, except when he brought him the necessary bread. The Holy Resurrection of Christ came; when they began to talk, and the conversation touched on the life of a hermit, Filimon realized that even this pious brother of Pavich had a beautiful intention (to live as an hermit), that he had absorbed a lot of ascetical words, written and unwritten, showing everyone that without perfect isolation it is not possible to please God, that the path of Moses is prohibited everywhere, and that a path produces sorrow, sorrow fear, fear humility, humility wisdom, wisdom love, and love makes a person healthy and without temptation, and then one recognizes that one is not far from God.3) Valamon (Filimon) said to him: By means of silence it is proper to completely purify the mind and give it the unceasing doing of the spiritual. As the eye, when it turns to the perceptible, is amazed by that which is seen, so the pure mind, when it turns to contemplation, is captivated by that which is spiritualized, so that one cannot turn it away from it. And as one purifies it by means of silence from passions and cleanses it, so also is the disposition to the spiritual things ever more pleasing to it. The mind is complete when it tastes the substantial occupation and becomes united with God. Then it, having the dignity of a king, no longer feels poverty nor is captivated by earthly desires, even though you offer it all the kingdoms. Therefore, if you desire to attain such states, run away from the world and with diligence pursue the way of the holy, abandon worries about your outward appearance, wear simple garments and outward adornments, and have an unpretentious demeanor, speech, and gait. Love to live in poverty and to be despised by all. Above all, care carefully for the preservation of the mind and sobriety, be patient under all hardships, and keep the spiritual goods already acquired untouched and unscathed. Have great regard for yourself and take no heed of any of the passions which creep in secretly. For, although silence chastises the human passions, if we allow them to break out and be intensified, they usually become more inflamed, and those who do so, with greater power cause them to sin. Likewise, bodily wounds that are rubbed and torn are incurable. Even one word may move the mind away from the memory of God when the demons are hungry for such an opportunity, and the senses agree with them. The greatest feat and fear is to preserve the soul. Therefore, it is proper for you to withdraw completely from the world and, having detached the soul from all affection for the body, to become homeless, fatherless, propertyless, beggar, unselfish, carefree, divorcee, ignorant of human affairs, humble, compassionate, kind, meek, and gentle. For, upon wax, it is impossible to write words that have not been smoothed beforehand, as the Great Basil teaches us. Such was the manner of the saints, who, having completely withdrawn from all the customs of the world and having kept their hearts unmoved by the heavenly mind, were illuminated by divine laws and shone with pious deeds and words, having died the death of those who were harassed by sobriety, the fear of God, and love. For by unceasing prayer and study of divine Scriptures the mind’s spiritual eyes are opened, and they behold the Lord of the powers, and there is great joy, and the divine desire blazes up in the soul without restraint, causing the body too to be animated by the Spirit, and making the whole person become spiritual. This is what the creators of blessed silence and the most intense ascetic lifestyle desire, who, having separated themselves from all earthly delights, continually converse with God the one Lord, who is found in heaven.4) When he heard this, the god-fearing brother, overjoyed with the love of God, left his place and together with Filimon reached the monastery where the greatest of the fathers had performed the way of holiness. They settled there in the Lavra of St. John the Rude, entrusting themselves to the care of the Lavra’s administration, for they wanted to be in complete silence. And they stayed there by God’s grace in perfect silence, celebrating the common church services on Sundays and feasts, while on the other days they would stay in their solitude; each would pray and perform worship in particular.10) The brother went away and, with the help of God and through the prayers of his father, calmed down and tasted the wisdom of this teaching. But then this happiness left him, and he could no longer perform this action consistently and pray. So he went back to the elder and told him about what had happened. The elder said to him: “Now you have discovered the path of silence and clever action, and you have tasted the sweetness that comes from it. Always keep this in your heart, whether you are eating, fasting, talking to people, traveling, or staying in a cell. Do not let your mind become idle, but always pray with pious thoughts and unceasingly sing and study in prayers and psalms. In this way you will be able to understand the depth of the divine Scripture and the hidden power within it, and you will be able to lead your mind to continuous action, so that you will fulfill the apostolic command to “keep praying.” Take very good care of your heart and guard it against accepting vain thoughts or any foolish or frivolous ones. But always, when you are sleeping or getting up, eating or drinking, talking, or even walking, your heart should secretly learn from the psalms and pray: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” Also, when you sing the psalms with your mouth, be careful not to say one thing with your lips and another with your thoughts.11) The brother asked him this: I see many vain thoughts in my dreams. The Elder said to him: Do not be lazy or cowardly; but before falling asleep, do a lot of prayer in your heart and oppose the thoughts and actions of the devil to lead you to his will, let God accept you. As much as you can, take care that you go to sleep with psalms on your lips and with wise instruction, and in no way allow your mind to accept other people’s thoughts, but with what thoughts you pray, you lean towards them and on the bed, so that when you sleep, they are in you, and when you sleep, they are with you. Also, say the holy symbol of the Orthodox faith before going to sleep, for the Orthodox doctrine about God is the source and protection of all good things.

            Here is what he said to him: think about the things that are fleeting, that are in the heart, which are the ailment of an undivided mind that has been given over to carelessness; and it is commanded in Scripture that we should maintain the keeping of our mind, sing with intelligence without confusion, and pray with pure mind. Therefore, brother, God wants us to show our diligence toward Him, first with deeds (of asceticism and good works), then with love and constant prayer, and He will give us the path of salvation. There is obviously no other way that leads to heaven, except perfect detachment from all evil, the acquisition of all good, perfect love for God and remaining with Him in holiness and truth, so that when one reaches this state, he will soon be on the heavenly throne. But at the same time, whoever wants to ascend must immediately put to death the desires that exist in the flesh. For when our soul delights in the sight of true good, it is no longer drawn to any of the passions that are aroused by sweet sinful pleasure; but, having turned away from every carnal pleasures, it receives the revelation of God with a pure and undefiled mind. We therefore need great self-guardian, many bodily works and purification of the soul, and we must bring God into our hearts, so that we may perform His divine commandments without any fault, and so that He Himself may teach us to observe His laws, radiating His actions on us by the grace of the Spirit. By our works and temptations, we must purify the image by which we were created as reasonable beings capable of comprehension and likeness of God, bearing in ourselves impressions that are clean of any corruption through the having them melted in the furnace of temptation, and being brought into royal dignity. God has created human nature to be partaker of any good that can be grasped by sight of the angels’ joys of glory, dominion, power, beginning, authority, and invisible light, and the glory of the immaculate. But when you perfect any virtue, do not forget to look down on your brother because you have corrected it, while he has hated it, because this is the beginning of pride. When you struggle with any passion, do not waste your thoughts on surrenders, and do not faint because the tyrant stands firm; but rise, and cast yourself at the face of God, saying with the prophet from the heart: “Take revenge, O Lord, on those who annoy me,” because I am not strong against them. And He, seeing your humility, will quickly send you His help. When you walk with anyone on the road, do not take up a frivolous conversation, but let your spirit perform a spiritual action that it had, so that this good habit may remain in him and the forgetfulness of worldly delights, so that he may not get off the mooring of purity.

13) Andrew came back after a short while and, beginning his sermon, asked: “What should I do, father? Nightly service weighs me down with sleep, preventing me from praying to God with sobriety and from increasing my labor; and I want to take up the embroidery when I sing.” The old man said: “When you can pray with sobriety, do not touch the needlework; when you are overcome by drowsiness, retreat a little against your purpose, read the prayer, and then, with your hands on the needlework.” He asked again: “Do you, father, not become overburdened by sleep during your service?” The old man said: “This is not so easy; but when drowsiness comes upon me, I retreat a little, but I start reading from the beginning of the Gospel of John, rising up my mind’s eye to God, and immediately the drowsiness disappears. I do something like this with meditations as well, especially when I meet up with one lead to tears, and it immediately disappears. You, however, cannot gain strength against them yet; but keep the secret teaching, and do your best to fulfill the services established by the holy fathers, like daily prayer, the third, sixth, ninth, and vigil hours. And by all means try not to do anything for the sake of human vanity so as not to alienate yourself from God. Also, try to keep your mind from being distracted; stay particularly attentive to inner thoughts. When you are in the church and intend to receive the Holy Mysteries, do not leave it until you receive your full beauty. Stay in one place; do not leave until your dismissal; in yourself, think that you are on heaven, and are awaiting Christ in the midst of holy angels, preparing with fear and trembling to welcome Him into your heart; prepare for this with fear and trembling, so that you may become a worthy communing one of the holy powers.”14) Until now, another brother who lived with him told the following. Once sitting by his side, I asked him: was he tempted by demonic tricks while living in the desert? He replied: “Brother, forgive me if God allows to come to you with temptations from the devil, as I had to suffer from, I do not think you could bear their bitterness. I am seventy years old, or with additions, I have endured many temptations while living in different deserts in complete silence; what I experienced and endured from these demons is not useful to tell those who have not yet been tempted by silence. In such temptations, I always did this: I placed all my hope in God, to whom I gave both vows and renunciations, and He soon rescued me from every need. Why, brother, do I no longer make any plans for myself? But knowing that He cares for me, I easily endure the temptations that come to me. And only what I bring to Him in prayer helps. A great deal helps in this, and the hope that the more suffering and misfortunes come, the greater their crowns for the patient; for in the righteous Judge they compensate each other. Knowing this, brother, do not be discouraged. Having entered the midst of the struggle, you must fight, and fight, encouraged by the fact that there are many more fighting against the enemy of our race, than there are enemy hordes. And how could one dare to confront such a terrible adversary of our people, if the shield of God’s Word did not cover us, protect us, and cover us? How could human nature withstand its entanglements? For as Job says, ‘Who will open the doors of his coverings? Who will approach his abyss? Flames come out of his mouth, and sparks of fire spread. The smoke of his furnace, burning with fire, comes from his nostrils. His soul is like coals, and from his mouth come flames. His strength is on his neck, the destruction flows ahead of him. His heart is solid as stone, standing still like an anvil. He lights up the Abyss like a copper furnace. He images the sea as a quiet harbor, and the pit of the abyss, like a gnat. All that is lofty he sees, and the Lord rules over all that is in the water.’ This is our enemy! And how many and what sort does the word of this tyrant describe! And despite all that, victory over him is easy for those who, as it should be, live a solitary life, through the absence in them of anything belonging to him, through their forsaking the world; through their high merit; and through having someone fighting for us. For who, tell me, having approached the Lord and having accepted His fear in their mind, has not become earthly and has poured themselves out with divine rules and deeds, has not made their soul bright and capable of shining with divine understandings and thoughts? A holy one never allows it to be, having God within them, Who disposes the mind to eagerly long for light. And the soul is thus constantly influenced, the spirit does not allow the senses to be distracted; but like a king who, breathing with terrible anger and concord, mercilessly strikes them down. Such a one never turns back, but by practice (virtue) with the influence of the hands on heaven and through reasonable prayer, he gains victory in the struggle.15) His brother told me that Abbé Filimon had another virtue, and this one: he could not bear to hear idle talk, and if anyone, reclining, was talking about something that was not of spiritual benefit, he did not respond to it in any way. Similarly, when I was engaged in any matter, he did not ask why I was going, and when I returned, he did not say, “What were you doing? or where were you? or what and how did you do?” Once I went to Alexandria for an urgent need, and from there, for a church matter, I went to Tsagoroda, without letting the servant of God know about it; then, having spent some time there, having visited the pious brothers there, I finally returned to him in the cave. When he saw me, the elder was delighted and, with his usual greeting, prayed, then sat down, but did not ask me anything at all, and was occupied with his usual wise actions.18) Then he added the story of a hermit, saying that he had already attained sobriety and, with the help of an angel, received bread for food, but that because of diverting his attention, he had lost this honour. For when the soul relaxes the concentrated and attention of the mind, then the soul is overcome by darkness. Where there is no God, everything is lost, as in darkness; and the soul is then unable to gaze upon the One God and to tremble in the presence of His words. God approaches Az , says the Lord, and God is not distant. Or does man hide himself in the most private places, and will I not see him? The food of heaven and earth is not provided by me? . And he recalled many others like those involved in problems. He also mentioned the downfall of Solomon, who, he said, had achieved such great wisdom and was so admired by all because, like dawn, he shone with the light of wisdom, but who, for a small favour, lost all this glory. Therefore, it is fearful to favour laziness, and one must pray constantly, so that another design may not be found that will lead us away from God and replace the mind with something else. Only a pure heart, becoming the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit, can clearly see God in itself as in a mirror.Therefore, we must diligently concern ourselves with practical works, by which we ascend to virtue, which is an imaginary purity, the fruit of which is the contemplation of divine things, a natural (state of mind). For works are the ascent to contemplation, as the penetrating and theological mind of Gregory the Theologian declares. If we detest the work we do, we become strangers to all piety; for, however high one may be in virtue, all the necessary efforts of asceticism are required to withstand the impudent desires of the body and to keep the mind in strict control. In this way, we can hardly achieve Christification. For the more our righteousness grows, the more our spiritual perfection increases; and when the intellect has reached perfection, it grows united to God and is illuminated by divine light, and is able to perceive the mysteries of the divine. Then one truly perceives where wisdom and strength, and the intellect that can comprehend all things, dwell; where longevity and life, the light of the eyes, and the world abide. For while engaged in the battle against passions, one lacks the ability to enjoy this; and the virtuous make the intellect blind to vices, while those who are virtuous make it blind to vices. But when one has received rest from the noise of the world, and has acquired spiritual gifts, he becomes entirely luminous, and is unable to prevent himself from contemplating spiritual things. Such a person is not bound to this world, but has come from the realm of death into the bosom of life.

            Thomas, who reveres a life worthy of imitation and longs for union with God, should have a pure heart and clean lips, so that the word, coming from the lips that are pure, may glorify God worthily. For the soul that has become united with God never ceases to converse with Him. On the contrary, should we desire to attain the heights of virtue and cease to wander about on earth, befouling ourselves with passions. He who rises up and attains unity with God, receives His holy light and is intoxicated by amorous love for Him, exults in a certain indescribable joy of the spirit, as the divine psalm says: Delight thyself in the LORD, and he shall give thee the desires of thy heart: he will satisfy thee with good things: our soul longs for him, as one who is in pain for thirst. And what love is so strong and insatiable as that which flows into the soul that has been cleansed of all evil? Such a soul, from the pure disposition of the heart, says: My love is inflamed . The splendor of divine loveliness is ineffable and ineffable! Words cannot describe it, nor can the ear contain it! Can you point out the splendor of the sun or the brightness of the moon, or the light of the sun, all of which are insignificant compared with its glory and more miserable than deep night or dark mists before a clear noon? Thus also Basil, the mystic among teachers, has handed down to us the result of his experience and study.

21) Here is what the brother said: when he had to sell his handicraft in order to avoid any kind of lie or flattery or superfluous word or any other form of sin, he pretended to be a hermit. Anyone who wanted to buy his handiwork took it from him and paid what they wanted. He worked on small baskets, and he accepted them with thanks, without saying a word. This man, full of self-control, remained in this state for a long time.2) Before beginning, make a few bows and do not bend the knees.

            3) Find with your imagination the place of the heart under the left nostril and establish yourself in the attention there.

            4) Bring the mind from the head to the heart and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” quietly, with the lips, or with the mind, as you prefer, speak slowly with reverent fear.

            5) Try, as much as possible, to maintain your attention and do not take into account any thoughts, neither weak nor good ones.

            6) Have a calm patience, putting yourself to stand for a long time with oblivion of everything.

     &cpadneef7) Keep your modest modesty and be modest by force

            8) Keep your silence.

            9) After the meal, read the Gospel and the Fathers who meditate on interior action and prayer.

            10) Sleep for about 5 or 6 hours a day.

            11) Sometimes pray to hasten the workings of the interior by an external prayer.

            12) Avoid work that distracts.

            13) Most often trust your experiences to the instructions of your fathers.

            ” Lord, grant your grace to my strength” – the prophet David used to say. Say also you, my spirit: Lord, grant your strong determination of my attachment to the attention! For it is from you that there is both what to desire and what to do; with your help and assistance, having purified my mind and heart through attention, I will prepare them to be the dwelling place of you, the Triune God!

Dear friends: A Traveler’s Description

«I thought of my former host and my former friend, the deaf old man, with whom I left in the past year, again carrying the letter from the Irkutsk merchant’s son to his son in Odessa, to send me to Jerusalem. We successfully reached Odessa in a short time. My companion immediately hired a place on a ship to Constantinople and left, and I, having stayed behind, went in search of the merchant’s son’s letter. Soon, after finding his apartment, to my great surprise and sorrow, I could find this benefactor of my life among the living: three weeks had passed since his short illness, and he had died and been buried. This greatly saddened me, but I put myself in God’s hands. All the relatives were in poverty, the deceased’s widow, having three small children, mourned increasingly, weeping constantly and falling into fainting spells, it seemed she did not have much longer to live from such deep sorrow. However, she welcomed me kindly, since due to their circumstances, she did not have the opportunity to send me to Jerusalem, and she allowed me to stay with her for about two weeks, until the deceased’s father came to Odessa to make arrangements, settle financial affairs, and take care of the orphans’ trade. So I stayed there.Finally, after leaving Odessa a little more than 70 versts, I met a marvellous circumstance: a great convoy of goods, with 30 carts, was passing me, and I overtook them. One of the foremost drivers, like a leader, rode on his horse, and the others, grouped together, followed along from behind. One had to pass a shallow pond, in which the broken-up spring ice was spinning and spilling water around in a circle, with great noise. All of a sudden, the foremost young driver stopped his horse, and the whole convoy stopped too. All the drivers rushed up to him and saw that he was undressing. They asked him why he had got undressed. And he answered that he was very keen to swim in the pond. The drivers were astonished, some started laughing at him, others scolded him, calling him mad, while the elder, the driver’s own brother, who was undressing, began to prevent him and push him to ride away. He defended himself and refused to listen. Some of the younger drivers, for fun, started using buckets, in which the horses drank, to dip water from the pond and splash at the person who wanted to swim – one hit him on the head, another on the collar, saying: “There, we are buying you.” As soon as water touched his body, he cried: “Oh, how good!” and sat down on the ground, while they continued to splash at him. Then he soon lay down and quietly died. They all became frightened and did not understand why this had happened. Their elders were worried and said that they should inform the court about it, while others said that such a death was written out for him at birth.

            – I can’t say anything more to you about this, dear brother, except that there are many wonderful and incomprehensible things in nature. This, I believe, is arranged by God in order to make the laws of nature more clearly evident to us, when they are changed in an unnatural and immediate way under certain circumstances… I myself was once a witness to such an event: there is a very deep gorge near our village, without being larger; it is almost frightening to look at its dark bottom. A bridge has been built over it for pedestrians. A peasant from my parish, who is of an upright and good character, suddenly, without any reason, felt an overwhelming desire to throw himself off that bridge into the deep water. For a whole week he struggled against this thought and desire; finally, he could no longer withstand this powerful impulse, he got up in the morning, hurriedly left, and threw himself into the river. Soon, after hearing a cry, he was taken out of the river with his legs broken. When asked about the cause of his fall, he replied that although he now felt a strong pain, he was calm inside, that he had fulfilled his irresistible desire, which had been bothering him all week, and that he was ready to give his life in order to fulfill his desire. For more than a year he was treated in a city hospital; I visited him often and, like you, wanted to hear from the doctors, why this happened. The doctors unanimously answered me that it was a “rag”… When I asked them to explain to me, from the science, what it was and how it affects a person, I heard no more from them than that it is a mystery of nature, not yet discovered by science… And I noticed from my side that if, at this mystery of nature, a person would appeal to people with an “irresistible urge”, he would not have achieved his goal. Indeed, there are many things in our lives that cannot be clearly understood…

            While we were talking, it got dark, and I stayed here to spend the night. In the morning, my parish clerk sent a letter asking for permission to bury the deceased in the cemetery, and that the doctor had not found any signs of insanity during the autopsy, and that his death could be attributed to a sudden stroke.

            Well, look, the priest said to me, – and medicine could not determine the cause of his overwhelming desire to go into the water.

            So, after saying goodbye to the priest, I continued my journey.

              After travelling for several days and having become quite tired, I arrived in a large trading town called “Bela Tserkva”. Since it was getting dusk, I began to look for a place to stay. On the market I met a man who also looked like a traveller, asking in the stalls where a certain simple citizen’s house was. Seeing me, he approached and said: “It is clear that you are also a traveller, so let us go together and find a local landowner named Yevreyinov. He is a good Christian, owns an expensive inn and loves to welcome travellers; here is a letter I have for him.” I gladly agreed, and we soon found him. Although we did not find the landowner himself, his wife, a kind old woman, welcomed us kindly and took us to a special room on the attic to rest. Once settled, we took a little rest; the owner came in and invited us to have dinner with him. After dinner, we talked about various things, and somehow the conversation turned to the reason why he was called Yevreyinov. “I will tell you an amazing story about this,” he replied, and began his narrative. “Here, you see, my father was a Jew, a native of the city of Shklov, and he was an enemy of Christians. From his earliest years, he prepared to become a rabbi and diligently studied all the Jewish intrigues to disprove Christianity. One day he happened to pass through a Christian cemetery; suddenly, a stranger appeared before him, drawing a sword, and began to reproach him, saying: ‘How dare you mock the dusty remains of my bones? I am a Christian, and you are an enemy of Christ!’ Every night he would have the same vision, and it deprived him of sleep and peace. He read prayers and spells over him, but the vision not only did not leave him, but became more and more frequent and obtrusive. My father suffered this and wanted to leave. However, in his distress, he said: “I would gladly do whatever you want to do to get rid of this painful and unbearable vision.” The petition he signed stopped the visions, and they never troubled him again. He moved to this place, married my mother here, a good Christian, and lived a pious life in abundance;

            After dinner, thanking God and the host, we went to our room for a rest. We were not yet tired, and we talked to each other. He told me that he was a merchant from Mogilev, who had lived for two years in Bessarabia as a novice in one of the monasteries there, but only on a temporary passport, and now he was going back to his homeland to receive permanent discharge from the merchant society to monasticism. He praised the monasteries there, their statutes and regulations, and the strict life of many pious elders who lived there, and assured us that the Bessarabian monasteries were against the Russians, like heaven and earth. He convinced us to go there. At that time, as we were having these conversations, they brought another traveler to us, an under-officer who had been released from the army for a while and was going home on leave. We saw that he was very tired from the road. After praying together to God, we went to sleep. Waking up early in the morning, we began to prepare to leave. And as soon as we wanted to thank the host, we suddenly heard the Gloria before dawn. We began to think: how can we go, hearing the Gloria and not having visited the church of God? It would be better to wait for the morning service, after praying in the holy church, and then it would be more pleasant for us to go. So we decided and called the under-officer with us. And he said to us: “What kind of prayers are there on the road, and what profit is there to God that we will visit the church? Once we get home, let us pray there! Go if you want, and I will not go. While you stay for morning service, I will go six versts ahead, and if you want to take me home, write in advance, as God will bring me.”

& nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; – But wait! When I said goodbye to you and went away, I wanted to go to the tavern to change the bill for small money and have a drink to make it easier to go. After entering, I changed the money, and like a falcon, I flew off on my way. Having walked three versts, I wanted to count my money, and whether they were returned to the tavern owner. I sat down, took out my wallet, looked at it, and everything was fine. Suddenly, I found my passport, which was lying right there, and it wasn’t there; there were only notes and money. So I got scared, as if I had lost my head. And I realized what had happened: of course, I had defended it when I was paying in the tavern. I need to run back. I run, I run, and the trouble will come again: well, how can it not be there!? It will be bad for me! On reaching the tavern, I ask the owner, and he says, “I haven’t seen it.” Again, I got depressed. I need to search and walk in the places where I stood and lay. And what? Fortunately, I found my passport, as it was folded, it was lying among straw and garbage on the floor, completely crushed in dirt. Thank God! I was happy; it was as if a mountain had fallen off my shoulders! Although for being untidy and for the dirt under my feet, they take you by the neck, but that’s nothing, at least I’ll get home and back with my eyes. And I came to you to tell you about this, and while I was running away in fear, I wiped my leg to the bone, so that it’s impossible to walk, and I ask for a cloth to bind the wound.

And this is what it is, brother! This is what you get for not listening to me and not going with us to pray – the merchant began to say. – Look! You wanted to go ahead of us, and instead you turned back towards us, and you even talked obscenely. I told you not to get ahead of us, and look what happened! And besides the fact that you didn’t go to church, you also said such words: “What’s the use of us praying,” that’s wrong… Of course, God doesn’t need our sinful prayer, but because of His love for us, He likes it when we pray. Not only the sacred prayer, which the Holy Spirit is helping us to say and that excites us, is pleasing to Him, because He demands it from us, commanding us: “Be in Me, and I will be in you,” but even every mundane thing done for Him, every intention for salvation, every impulse to goodness is precious to Him. For all this, God’s boundless mercy rewards generously. God’s love gives grace a thousand times more than a human action is worthy of. If you take a small contribution to God, He will give you a thaler. If you even intend to go to the Father, He is already coming to meet you. You say a short and dry word: “Receive me! Have mercy on me!” And He is already embracing your neck and kissing you. This is how much God’s love is undeserving of us! And from this love alone, He delights in every little saving action we take. You think: what is the glory for the Lord, and what benefit is there for you if you pray a little and then continue to amuse yourself, or even do some small, unimportant good deed, like reciting a prayer, making ten or fifteen bows; you let out a sigh of relief from your heart and call upon the name of Jesus Christ, or notice a good thought, or organize yourself to read something that saves, or refrain from eating, or bear a little offense in silence… All this seems to you to be insufficient for your perfect salvation, and it seems to be fruitless. No! each of these small deeds will not fall into oblivion, but will be reckoned by the all- seeing Eye of God and will receive a thousandfold reward not only in eternity, but also in this life. This is what St. John Chrysostom states. “No good deed,” he says, “however small it may be, will be overlooked by a just Judge. If sins are examined with such thoroughness that we have to give an account for our words, for our intentions and for our thoughts, then however good deeds, however small they may be, will be reckoned with particular accuracy and will receive their reward with even greater generosity.”I shall give you an example I heard last year. In the Bessarabian monastery where I lived there was an old black monk of good life. One day he succumbed to temptation, and he felt a great desire for dried fish. Since it was not possible to get any at the monastery, he resolved to go to the market and buy some. But after much wrestling with himself and considering the fact that a monk must make do with the common monastic food and keep away from any form of selfishness, including walking around the marketplace in the midst of the people, he finally gave in to the enemy’s slander, and, succumbing to his desire for luxuries, he set out for the market. When he reached the street outside the monastery, he noticed that he was not carrying a kydukh, and he began to consider: “How am I to go about as a warrior without a sword? This is improper, and the worldly people will condemn me and be tempted to think the worst of me for going without a kydukh.” He wanted to go back to fetch his kydukh, but on examining his pockets he found it still there. He pulled it out, crossed himself, put on his hand, and set out calmly. As he was approaching the marketplace, he saw an old horse standing by a stall with a cart laden with huge barrels. Suddenly the horse, frightened by something, began to dash off at full speed, kicking with its hooves; it hit this monk by the shoulder and slammed him to the ground, though not too hard. Instantly the cart overturned, and the barrels were scattered over the ground. The monk, clearly frightened, but also surprised, realized how God had preserved his life, for if, by a mere misfortune, the cart had fallen off even a moment earlier, then he too would have been swept away like the cart. Without giving it a second thought, he bought the fish, returned to the monastery, ate his meal, and, after praying, went to bed to sleep. In the snow, there appeared before him an unknown but noble old priest who said: “Listen! I am in charge of this monastery and want to strengthen you so you understand and remember that struggle with sensual pleasure and indolence, along with self-reflection and self-devotion, gave the enemy an opportunity to attack you, and he had prepared this sudden accident which burst before your eyes. If, instead of herding sheep, you had followed the assailant’ssnare and, having faithfully endured such hardships, you had put on your kydukh and presented yourself at the posts of justice with fear and trembling, this accident may not have occurred at all. Having said this, the priest who appeared to him then immediately left his cell and the monk, quite overcome by fear, prostrated himself on the threshold and fell asleep”Indeed, God’s love for us sinners is boundless! Is it not strange that for such a small matter, for taking out a few coins from a pocket and putting them on his hand and calling on the Name of God once, this small act cost that man his life! And on the scales of human destiny, a brief moment of Jesus’ calling outweighed many hours spent in idleness … Truly, great sacrifice is made here for a small coin – the coin of gold … Do you see, brother, how powerful a prayer is, and how mighty the Name of Jesus which we call upon! St. John of Karphyas in his book “Charity” says that when we recite the Jesus Prayer and say, “Have mercy on me, sinner,” a secret voice of God responds: “My child, your sins are forgiven for an hour …” Prayer is of no different value than that of saints, monastics, and martyrs, for as St. Zlatoust says, “Prayer, even if it is uttered by us sinners, is immediately cleansed” (Homily, 2). What great mercy God has for us, but we, who are guilty and careless, do not want to give even a short hour in return to thank Him and put the most important prayer aside in favor of life’s troubles and worries, forgetting God and our obligations! And we often experience misfortune and misfortune, but this is the understanding of for us and the return to God that defines God’s loving Providence.

He took a book from his pocket and began to read a wonderful story about a pious Agathonikos who, from a very young age, was accustomed by his pious parents to recite every day, before an icon of the Virgin Mary, the prayer ‘Hail Mary, full of grace’, and so on. He kept it up religiously every day. Then, when he reached a certain age, he began to live on the sidelines, becoming engrossed now with one thing and now with another, and he read his prayer seldom, vanishing at last altogether. One evening he accepted a stranger who had come to stay with him for the night. The stranger told him that he was a monk from Phyvagylia and had had a vision urging him to go to Agathonikos and reproach him for abandoning the Virgin’s prayer. Agathonikos cited a number of reasons for abandoning the prayer, saying that for many years it had brought him no benefit. Then the monk said to him, ‘Remember, blind and ungrateful one, how many times this prayer saved you from trouble. You were travelling with a companion, and together you fell from the cart. Your companion broke his leg, while you suffered no harm whatsoever. You can remember many other such occasions: the Virgin protected you by her intercession for this short prayer by which, every day, you were drawing your soul closer to God … So look, continue still, and do not abandon this prayer. It has left you!

After this, I walked for five days, enjoying the recollection of the stories I had heard from the pious merchant from the White City; then I began to approach Kyiv, when suddenly I felt a sense of weight, relaxation, and gloomy thoughts; prayer was difficult, a sense of discouragement came over me. So, in order to rest, having seen a forest and a thicket on the side of the road, I went there and sat under a secluded tree to read The Book of Charity to sustain my weakened soul and calm my cowardice. Finding a silent village, I began to read the 4th part of The Book of Charity, about eight thoughts. After reading for half an hour with delight, I suddenly saw a man standing motionless on his knees, fifty steps from me, deep in the forest. I was struck by this, thinking that he was obviously praying to God, and I began to read again. After reading for an hour or more, I looked at this man again, and he was still standing motionless on his knees. This struck me very deeply, and I thought, “Here are the pious servants of God.” While I was wondering about this, the man suddenly fell to the ground and lay silently. This surprised me, and since I could not see his face, because he was standing on the back towards me, I became curious and went to see what kind of person he was. As I approached, I found him in a thin sleep. It was a peasant boy of twenty-five years old, with a clean face and noble demeanor, but pale in appearance, wearing a peasant coat, belted with a rope, and there was nothing else with him – neither a bag nor even a stick. Hearing the noise of my arrival, he woke up and stood up. I asked him who he was. He told me that he was a state peasant from the Smolensk Province, who was going to Kyiv.

             Once as I was pasturing my flock in the forest, I was overcome by anxiety. I was so scared that I fell to my knees and said, ‘God, have mercy on me!’ Instantly I felt very calm and at ease, as if I had gone to heaven! How wonderful! I didn’t mind continuing to pray. When I arrived in the village, the chief, having noticed that I hadn’t found his best sheep, beat me near to death; he even broke my leg. I lay there for six weeks, almost completely paralyzed, but I always knew that I was praying, and that is what calmed me. After that, I recovered a little, but I started to get bored of all the in-fighting in the village, and I felt that there was too much evil. So I left and started travelling to holy places and through the forests. This has been going on for a year now.

             “Do not worry, dear brother, all is well with God and all that happens during prayer, say the Holy Fathers, whether it is ease or difficulty, – it is all good. No prayer, either good or bad, is lost before God. Ease, warmth and pleasure show that God rewards and comforts us for this effort, while heaviness, gloominess, dryness indicate that God purifies and strengthens the soul and, by this beneficial patience, saves it, preparing it with humility for the future blessed enjoyment. Here is a proof of this” – I read it to him from Holy John the Ladder.’

            I found this article here and read it to him. He listened with attention and delight and thanked me very much for it. So we said goodbye. He went deep into the forest, and I, having come out on the road, continued my way, thanks to God for having granted me, this sinner, such instruction.’

            The next day, with God’s help, I arrived in Kiev. My first and greatest desire was to talk, confess and receive the Holy Mysteries in this blessed place, so I stopped near the holy monks to make it easier to walk to the Church of God. A kind old Cossack welcomed me into his house, and since he lived alone, it was quiet and peaceful for me there. For the week I was preparing for confession, it occurred to me to confess as thoroughly as possible. I began to remember and go through all my sins in detail, so as not to forget them; I began to write down everything I remembered, down to the smallest detail, and wrote a large sheet. I felt that 7 versts away from Kiev, in the Kyhayevsky Desert, there is a priest of ascetic life and a very wise and prudent man, who, if one does not come to him in extremis, enters into the understanding of pity and returns with a saving instruction and ease of soul. This very much pleased me, and I immediately went to him. After consulting and talking, I gave him my sheet to review. Having read it, he said to me: “You, dear friend, have written a lot of nothing. Listen: 1) one must not pronounce the sins at confession in which one has previously repented and been forgiven and has not repeated them, otherwise it will be distrustful of the power of the sacrament of confession; 3) the Holy Fathers forbid one to pronounce the sins with all their ramifications, but to confess them in general, so that private reflection on them does not arouse temptations in oneself and in the priest. You have read everything, but the most important thing you have left out of sight – you have not declared the most grievous sins, you have not realized and recorded that you do not love God, you hate your neighbor, you do not believe the word of God and you are full of pride and ambition in all your sins, which contain all the deep abyss of evil and from which all the branches of our sinfulness originate.”

            – It is unfortunate that you have understood little of what I was trying to explain to you. To help you learn faster, here is a list that I myself have always used. Read it and you will clearly see the exact evidence of what I was just telling you.

             The priest gave me the list, and I began to read it.

Confession of the inner self, which leads to humility

            “Carefully looking at myself and observing the course of my inner state, I have experienced firsthand that I do not love God, I have no love for my neighbor, I do not believe in anything religious, and I am full of pride and lust. All this I truly find within myself through a thorough examination of my feelings and actions.

1. I do not love God. For if I loved Him, I would think about Him day and night with joy; every thought about God would bring me consolation. On the contrary, I think about things of the world far more often and with greater eagerness than about God; and the thought of God is a burden and a weight to me. If I loved Him, the communion with Him through prayer would nourish me, make me happy, and draw me back to Him day after day; but, on the contrary, I not only dislike prayer, but find it a burden and a labor to engage in it. While engaged in other things, the hours pass unnoticed, but when I am thinking of God, each hour seems to me like a day. Whoever loves will think about and imagine the person he loves throughout the day, and find his thoughts turning back to him at all times; but I find it difficult to set aside twenty-four hours entirely for meditation on God and absorption in his love, and I am eager to spend twenty-three hours, turning to the service of my earthly passions. I am dry, gloomy, indolent. If I do occasionally get carried away by a desire to talk with God, I hardly let myself be absorbed for a single hour in this meditation, but I spend twenty-three hours eagerly offering up sacrifices to my earthly passions! I am dry, gloomy, and indolent. And if I inadvertently take up another subject for conversation, I undertake as quickly as possible to return to the subject of God’s love. I am endlessly curious about news, public decrees, and political events; I eagerly try to find something to satisfy my curiosity in the worldly arts, in science, in purchases, and I find the instruction in the Lord’s law, in the knowledge of God and of religion, nothing that inspires my soul and interests me, but rather something of no importance, and only a time to be kept up with for fun. In short, if love of God is to be recognized by obedience to his commandments: “If you love me, keep my commandments,” says the Lord Jesus Christ, while I not only fail to keep his commandments but even hardly try to do so, then it is certainly true to say that I do not love God… Proof that a person does not love God and his Christ is that he does not keep his commandments” (Principles of Truth 3).3) I do not believe in anything religious. Neither in immortality, nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly convinced and completely believed that there is life after death with its rewards for earthly deeds, then I would always think about it; the very thought of immortality would frighten me, and I would treat this life as a stranger who is preparing to enter his homeland. On the contrary, I do not think about eternity and consider the end of this life as the boundary of my existence. A secret thought dwells in me: who knows what will happen after death? If I say that I believe in immortality, then I say this only in my mind, and my heart is far from firm belief in it, as my actions and constant concern for the prosperity of the sensual life openly testify. If the Holy Gospel, as the word of God, were to be accepted in my heart with faith, I would constantly occupy myself with it, study it, delight in it, and even view it with profound awe. Wisdom, goodness, and love, hidden in it, would fill me with wonder, I would delight in the teachings of the Law of God day and night, feed on it as on daily food, and long to follow its rules with deep devotion. Nothing earthly would be able to distract me from this. On the contrary, if I occasionally read or hear the word of God, it is either out of necessity or out of curiosity, and without deep attention, I feel dryness, dryness, and, as if it were ordinary reading, I leave it without any fruit and willingly substitute it for more reading on the worldly subjects.Let us read this, dear brother, and you were terrified, and thought to yourself, “My God, what terrible sins are hidden in me, and I have not yet noticed them!” Therefore, the desire to wash them away made me ask the instructions of this great spiritual father, by whatever means possible, to discover the causes of all evil, and to find a way to correct them. So he began to explain to me.

            With respect, I listened to all this, and I asked this holy father to baptize me and to give me the sacraments of Christ. So, on the morning after the sacrament, I wanted to return to Kiev with this blessed blessing, but this good father of mine, having the intention to go to Lavra in a few days, left me in his cell, in this silence, so that I could freely pray. And indeed, all these days I spent as if I were in heaven: through the prayers of my old man, I, unworthy of it, enjoyed perfect peace. Prayer flowed easily and peacefully into my heart, and at that time I seemed to have forgotten everything and myself, thinking only of the only Jesus Christ!

“Well, I wanted to leave here and I was already in the hallway when I suddenly saw a person in the open doorway in a special compartment who, at first glance, was not Russian, lying on the bed reading a book. He beckoned me to him and asked who I was. I told him. And he began to speak: “Listen, dear, would you agree to serve me, a sick person, for at least a week, until I get well with God’s help? Say no, servant of God!”

– I don’t need any pay, I will diligently serve you, as I can, in the name of God. I stayed with him. I heard a lot from him about saving things. He told me about St. Athos Mount, about the great ascetics there and about many hermits and hermits. He had The Art of Loving in Greek and the book by Isaac Syrian. We read them together and compared the words with the original Greek, and he said that it can not be more accurately and more faithfully translated from Greek than the translation by Paisius Velichkovsky into Georgian of The Art of Love . As I noticed, he was constantly praying and was proficient in inner prayer of the heart (and spoke perfectly Russian), so I questioned him on the subject. He willingly told me about it, and I listened attentively, even wrote down many of his words. Here, for example, he spoke of the excellence and greatness of the Lord’s Prayer as follows:

 – The excellence of the Lord’s Prayer , he said, “opens even its form, which consists of two parts: the first of them, that is, “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God,” introduces the mind into the history of the life of Jesus Christ, or, as the Holy Fathers say, and reduces to itself all the sins, presents the history of our weakness and sinfulness. At the same time, it is marvelous how one can not speak more wisely, more thoroughly and more expressively about the desire and supplication of a poor, sinful and humble soul than with this word: “Forgive me!”

“Forgive my transgressions!” “Rid the guilty!” Understanding my helplessness to bend my will and spiritual vigilance over myself; in mercy, having viewed my utter misery, this profound expression of forgive me expresses, as it were, “Gracious Lord! Forgive me my sins and help me correct my life, open up in my soul the hopeless longing for imitation of Your commandments, make grace into forgiveness of committed sins and turning of my scattered mind, will and heart to You, the One True God.”

            – If you want, he said, then I will tell you (and he named it in a learned way, because he said he had studied at the Academy of Athens) about the intonation of the Lord’s Prayer.

            Now watch: one prayer contains two objects – the Lord Jesus and His mercy, and all Christians are aware of this. So why do not all Christians express it with the same inflection, that is, with the same intonation? Why on one place and in one place does the soul not to be moved and aroused to a particular state of excitement? Many might say that this is due to training, or imitation of others, or a view that is different from each person, or finally, for each person according to his ease and convenience in understanding the words … But I think it differently. I would like to look for something higher here that is not only unknown to those who listen, but also to the one who is praying: how and about what should prayer be? And if each one prays in the name of Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit, by the revelation of the Apostle, then there is a mysterious movement of the Holy Spirit that “groans with unspeakable longing” in the ignorant: what and how should I pray? And since each one prays in the name of Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit, by the revelation of the Apostle, then the mysterious Spirit of Fire, “praying to the one who prays,” can simultaneously, against his will, give his gracious gift: one such a reverent fear of God, another love, and another firmness. And therefore, he who has received the gift can worship and glorify the King of God and in his prayer express with a special feeling and enthusiasm the word “Lord,” in which he has the grandeur and authority of the Creator of the world in mind. He who has received the mysterious infusion of love in his heart is predominantly captivated and overwhelmed by the joy of exclaiming “Jesus Christ,” just as an old man previously could not even hear the name “Jesus” pronounced in ordinary conversation, without any special love and sweetness. He who believes unwaveringly in the divinity of Jesus Christ, the Only-Begotten Son of God the Father, glows and is even more firm in his faith when he utters the words “Son of God.” He who has the gift of humility and is deeply aware of his own powerlessness when he says “have mercy on me,” groans, is humbled, and overflows with inner agony in these last words of the prayer of Jesus, nourishing his hope in the mercy of God and groaning over his own falls. These are the reasons, I believe, for the differences in the intonation of the prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!.. And from this observation, we can sense intuitively (to the glory of God and to our own instruction) who has what degree of feeling and what spiritual gift. Some people said to me: “Why are not all these signs of mysterious spiritual gifts presented together, in a whole? Then not only one word of the prayer, but each word would be infused with the same exalted intonation of the one who is praying.” I responded to this as follows: “Because the grace of God distributes the gifts of the Precious Fount, who can test it and penetrate into the domain of grace through the limited mind?”There were five days when I spent with this old man, and he gradually strengthened his health. This time was instructive to me, as I did not notice how it was passing, for in that little hut we did absolutely nothing except pray secretly to the name of Jesus Christ, or talk about only one subject, namely, The suffering of Christ.

            I had already begun to approach Pochayev when, not yet a hundred steps off, I was overtaken by a soldier. I asked him where he was going; he told me that he was going home, to the Kameynya-Podilsky district. After walking with him for ten versts, I noticed that he was breathing heavily, as if mourning for something, and was very gloomy. I asked him: “Why are you so sad?” He began to cling to me and said: “Good man! If you have already noticed my sorrow, beat your breast and swear that you will not tell anyone, and I will tell you everything about myself, because death is coming to me, and there is no one to talk with.”

         “Do you see it?” he said, “I was given to the soldier by a landowner. After serving for five years, it became unbearably difficult for me, and I was often beaten for disobedience and drunkenness. I decided to desert. Now it has been eighteen years since I first ran away. For six years I hid here and there; I broke into locked chalets and did all sorts of thieving among the croupiers, and I met a soldier who had been honorably discharged and was going home to a distant province. That soldier died, and all his money was spent. I went boldly to the distant Astrakhan province. There I became sober and looked for work as a worker. Everything we had left from the old man was squandered in a year, and my wife too. One day I could not find a job, so I took an old horse and sold it to a man who traded in horses. I went into the forest to wait for midnight. When I lay down there, I fell asleep soundly. My head and hands remained on the outside. Then this black cloud seemed to descend to the earth, and out of it came my grandfather, who had died twenty years before. He had several bags of things that I had stolen at various times. I was even more terrified. Clamp it tighter!” And suddenly the earth began to squeeze and press me so strongly from all sides that I could not stand the pain, the tightness, and the exhaustion, and I groaned and cried out: “Have mercy!” Clamp it tighter! And I felt such intense pain and discomfort that no suffering on this earth can compare with it. Finally, this grandfather of mine brought up in front of me the horse I had stolen the day before, and shouted: “What’s this? Clamp it as tightly as you can!” And I felt the pain and discomfort so badly from all sides that I cannot even describe how terrible it was, how terrible and suffocating. It was as if a living force was pulling me out and strangling me with unbearable pain, so that I could not bear it and had to collapse without a thought, if the suffering had been the least bit shorter. And it was like being pulled by the cheek, which I spread. At that moment, with this blow, I woke up in a fright and, shivering like a jolted person, I barely managed to get up and go home. My hand has been sick for a long time, you see, and there is still the scar that was not there before. I have been more often afraid of people and ashamed, as if everyone knew about my former frauds. Luckily, I was able to resist. So, on my own, I wanted to hang myself. But then I had a thought that I would soon die and die soon, because all my strength was gone, so I decided to go to say goodbye to my home country and to die there. What should I do? After all, my endurance is not enough!

– Empty, brother! The devil is putting these thoughts into your head. God is infinitely merciful and sympathizes with sinners and forgives those who repent soon. After all, you know the prayer of Jesus, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Here it is that you recite it constantly.

            I was surprised and pleased at this, so I asked him to tell me in detail what had happened to him.

            – Here is what happened: as soon as I fell asleep, I found myself on the same meadow where I had been tortured. At first I was frightened, but I saw that a bright sun was rising instead of a cloud, and a wonderful light shone over the whole meadow, and I saw red flowers and grass there. Suddenly, my grandfather approached me, so handsome that you couldn’t believe it, and spoke quietly and warmly to me: “Go to Lviv to the church of St. George the Victorious; there they will take you as a church guard; live here for the rest of your life and pray without ceasing; God will have mercy on you!”
After saying this, he crossed himself and disappeared the moment I woke up. I felt such joy that I couldn’t tell you what to do, as if something had dropped out of me and I had flown to heaven… With this, I suddenly woke up, feeling light and with a heart that didn’t know what to do with joy. Now what should I do? I will go to Lviv immediately, as my grandfather told me. I will go easily, with prayer!”

            – Have mercy, dear brother, where are you going at night? Please say at least the morning prayers, pray and be with God. So we didn’t sleep, and after this conversation we went to church. He prayed diligently with tears all morning and said that he felt very easy and happy, and the Jesus Prayer was done with joy. Then, after lunch, I led him to the road to Lviv, where we said goodbye together with tears and joy.

            After this, I began to reflect on myself and thought, “Where should I go now?” Finally, I made up my mind to go back to Kiev. I was encouraged by the wise advice of my spiritual director there, and by the fact that, having lived with him, perhaps he would find some Christ-loving benefactors to send me to Jerusalem or, at the very least, to the Mount Athos. So, having spent another week in Pochaiv, spending time in the memory of the instructive meetings I had seen on my journey, and writing down some instructive subjects, I set out on my journey, put on my bag, and went to church, where I kneeled at the foot of the Mother of God for a blessing and prayed for lunch.

I stood behind the church. Suddenly, a person came out, though not very well dressed, but with a noble appearance, and asked me where candles were sold. I pointed out. She walked away, and I remained to pray at the foot of the Mother of God. I prayed and went on my way. After walking a little on the street, I saw a window open in a house, and a gentleman was sitting there reading a book. I did not have to pass that window, and I saw the person who had asked me about the candles in the church. As I walked past, I took off my hat, and he invited me to himself and asked: “Are you a wanderer?” and, calling me to himself, inquired who I was and where I was going; then he offered me tea and said: “Listen, little one! I am traveling there, and I am going on foot by a promise. I benefit.”I very much liked his reasoning and desire for prayer, and I even asked him: “from which particular evangelical precept do you derive the teaching about prayer?” – “From all four evangelists,” he replied, “in one word from the whole New Testament, reading it in order. Long reading and studying this, I discovered the gradualness and correct order of the teaching about prayer throughout the Gospel, beginning with the first evangelist and following a proper sequence (system). For example, the introduction to the teaching about prayer is set out at the very beginning, followed by the form or outward expression in words, then the condition required for prayer, the means of how to practice it, and examples. Finally, the mysterious teaching about inner, spiritual, unceasing prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, which is presented as superior and more beneficial than formal prayer; then its necessity, its good fruits, and so on. In short, the whole detailed, complete knowledge of the exercise of prayer is laid out in systematic order or sequence in the Gospel from beginning to end.”He agreed to this and said to me: “Discover your Gospel, read it, and make a note of the things I will say” (he gave me a pencil). Please look at these notes. – Here, he began, first in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter six, and read from verse eight to verse nine (Mt. VI, 5-9). Do you see here a praysnal preparation or an introduction that teaches not to leave prayer to be done in vain, in a noisy place, but in a secluded place and with silence, beginning the prayer only to ask for the forgiveness of sins and union with God, and not for making many and unnecessary requests for our various needs. Then, continue reading this same section from verse nine to verse fourteen (Mt. VI, 9-14). Here, the form of the prayer is explained: that is, in what words it has to be said. In it, wisdom joins all that is necessary for our life. Then, continue reading verses 14 and 15 of the same section, and you will see the condition that must be preserved in order for the prayer to be effective, because without forgiveness of those who offend us, God will not forgive our sins. Turning to chapter seven, you will see from verses seven to twelve the means for success in prayer and approval in hope: “ask, search, knock”; this emphasized expression represents the frequency of prayer and the predominant practice in it, so that prayer not only accompanies all occupations, but even exceeds them in time. This is the most important attribute of the prayer… An example of this frequency of prayer can be found in chapter 14 of Mark’s Gospel, from verse 32 to 40, where Jesus Christ (Jn. VII, 6-17) repeats the same words of prayer many times. A similar example of the frequency of prayer is presented in Luke’s Gospel (Lk. XI, 5-14) in the parable of the constant petition of a friend, as well as in the countless, persistent request of the widow to the judge (Lk. XVIII, 1-15), depicting Jesus’ commands that we ought to always, in every instance, not to give up.After this thorough foundation, the Gospel of John makes a further important teaching on the secret inner prayer of the heart, first by presenting the wise story of Jesus’ conversation with the woman of Samaria, in which the inner worship of God in spirit and truth, which God desires, is revealed as being continuous and uninterrupted. (John 4:5-25). Further, in chapter 15, verses 4-8, more clearly shows the power, strength and necessity of inner prayer, that is, the abiding of the soul in Christ, in constant communion with God. Finally, read chapter 16 of the same Gospel, verses 23-25. See what a mystery is revealed here! Do you see that the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or the so-called “Jesus prayer”, that is, “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, repeatedly and often repeated, has great power and facilitates the opening of the heart and its sanctification. This can be clearly seen from the example. The apostles, who had been disciples of the Lord Jesus for many years and had already been taught by Him the prayer of the Lord, that is, “Our Father”, which is known to us through them, but at the end of His earthly life, Jesus Christ revealed to them a secret which they needed in their prayer, in order to make it decisive. He said to them: “Ask anything in My name, and it shall be given to you”. This indeed happened to them, because after this, when the apostles learned to offer prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, they then did many wonderful miracles and were greatly enlightened. Now do you see the connection and the completeness of the teaching on prayers so wisely expounded in the Holy Gospel? If you then proceed to read the Apostolic Epistles, you will find there too a continuous teaching on the prayer.

            Thus, by reading long and carefully, we can discover many more discoveries of secret knowledge hidden in God’s Word, which elude mere casual or fleeting reading. From what I have just explained, have you noticed how wisely and in a consistent, that is, in a secret systematic sequence, the New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ unfolds its teaching on this subject we have now traced? In what a wonderful order of consistent sequence is it arranged throughout the four evangelists? For example, in St. Matthew we see the beginning or the entrance into prayer, the form, the conditions, and so on; and moving on, in St. Mark we find examples; in St. Luke, parables, while in St. John, a secret practice in interior prayer, though in all four evangelists, longer or shorter, this is all present. In Acts we see the practice and effects of prayer; in the Apostolic Epistles, as well as in the Apocalypse itself, many accessories are inextricably linked with the matter of prayer! Because of this, I am satisfied with only one Gospel in studying all the paths to salvation.

            All the time he was pointing out to me and explaining these things, I marked all the key passages in my Gospel, which I had beside my Bible. All this seemed to me very wonderful and instructive, and I thanked him much for it.

            Then we walked on in silence for nine days. My companion was very badly afflicted by his legs, probably from the unusual length of the walk, and he hired a pair of horses and took me with him. So we reached your borders and stayed there for three days, resting in order to set off immediately for Anzer, which he very much longed for.

            – What a wonderful companion you have! He must be very educated, judging by his piety. I would like to meet him.

            – We are neighbours. I think I can bring him to you tomorrow. But now it’s late… Excuse me!

Sixth meeting

Brother to brother we help one another, for
the city is strong and high; it is fortified
like a founded kingdom. (Psalm 87:19).

            – Here, then, by word and promise, coming to you, I asked to take with me this honourable companion, who by spiritual salvation lightened the road for the Pilgrim, and whom you were longing to see.

            – It is very pleasant for me, I hope, also for these honourable my visitors, to see you both and hear your useful words marked by experience. Here is the Hesychast, and here is the reverent priest. Hence, where two or three are gathered in the name of Jesus Christ, He is promised to be with them; and now that we are all three gathered in the name of Christ, surely, His grace is all the more abundant for us!

            I was very interested in my companion’s, dear brother, last evening’s account of your fervent devotion to the Gospel; it was a very admirable and edifying tale. I would be interested to hear how this great piety was revealed to you and how you discovered this mystery of holiness.

            – The gracious Lord, looking out for the salvation of all and wishing everyone to arrive at the understanding of truth, revealed to me, with great grace, this knowledge in a marvelous way, without any human intervention. For — 18 years I was a professor at the Lyceum, passing through the dark paths of vanity, being carried away by the tumultuous philosophy of worldly things, and not by Christ, and I might have quite perished if not for the support of my godly mother and my dear sister, living in fl. boulevard, I met and became acquainted with a splendid young man who declared himself to be a certified French student who had recently arrived from Paris and was seeking a place as a tutor. His tremendous erudition filled me with joy, and I invited him to come and stay with me as a traveling guest, and we became very good friends. For two months he often visited me, and we often took walks together, talked, and went out together to society, of course, the most moral kind. Finally, he came to me with an invitation to one of these societies and, in order to convince me more quickly, began praising the extraordinary cheerfulness and pleasantness of the place to which he was inviting me. After saying a few words about this, he suddenly asked me to leave my study room, where we were sitting, and to go into the living room. This seemed strange to me, and I, having already noticed on several occasions that he was not at all eager to be in my study room, asked him what this was about. And I also kept him there because the living room was next to my mother and sister’s room, and therefore it would have been improper to talk about empty subjects in their presence. He kept up his insistence with various entreaties, and finally told me quite plainly: ‘Look, you have an Evangelion on the shelf between your books. I respect this book so much that I find it hard to be in the presence of such a conversation! Please take it down from there, and then we will go on.” I, out of sincerity, smiled at his words and took the Evangelion off the shelf, saying: I ought to have told you this a long time ago! And handing it to him, I said: Put it over there in that room!” As soon as I touched the Evangelion with my hand, he suddenly gave away and “disappeared”. This struck me so hard that I fell unconscious on the floor. When the servants came in, they could not bring me to my senses for half an hour. In the end, I, because of the intense fear, the terror, the restlessness, and the complete numbness of my hands and feet so that I could not move them, felt a strong fear. A doctor was summoned to identify the illness as paralysis, caused by some severe shock or fright. For a whole year after this episode, under the careful treatment of many physicians, I lay in bed and received no relief from the illness, which eventually forced me to go into retirement from the academic service. My old mother had just died, and my sister had settled down to devote herself to monastery life. Therefore, all this added to the burden of my illness. The one thing that gave me consolation in this painful time was the reading of the Evangelion, which had not left my hands since the beginning of my illness, as a guarantee of a miraculous occurrence with me.
< p class=”wp-block-paragraph”>& nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;& nbsp;Once, unexpectedly, an unknown hermit came to visit me, who goes to the monastery to collect offerings. He strongly advised me not to rely only on medicines, which are powerless without God’s help, and asked me to ask God for help and prayed earnestly for this, because prayer is the most powerful means for the healing of all diseases, both physical and spiritual. “How can I pray in this state, when I am unable to bow my head or raise my hands for the sign of the cross?” I objected to him out of my inattention. He told me in response: “Pray somehow!” And he could not explain to me in detail how to pray… After this visitor left, I involuntarily began to reflect on prayer and its power and effect, recalling the theological lectures I had heard in the institution when I was still a student. This very pleasantly occupied me, revived bright religious knowledge in my memory, warmed my soul, and at once I began to feel some relief from my painful attacks. Since the Bible was constantly in my possession, I, according to my faith, turned to it, because of a miracle, and also remembering that I had heard the whole structure of the treatise on prayer in lectures based on the texts of the Gospels, I considered it best to learn prayer and Christianity alone. Having read this, I drew on it like a flowing well a complete system of life-saving and true inner prayer. With reverence, noting all the passages and texts on this subject, I have since tried to study these divine precepts and to apply them to practice as much as possible, though it is not easy. In this effort, my illness gradually eased and, as you can see, I completely recovered. Having been left alone, I, in thanksgiving to God for His paternal graces and healing and enlightenment, decided, following the example of my sister and the inclinations of my soul, to devote myself to the hermitage life, so as to be free to receive and assimilate such sweet words of the life of eternal life, indicated to me in the Word.

      DiSchiMNIk. – For such an important condition of special and mysterious grace of God and with your scientific education, it is unforgivable not only to fall into sadness, but even to allow doubts about God’s intercession and help in your soul! Do you know what the God-wise Zlatoust says about this? “No one should grieve (he admonishes) and imagine that the Gospel commandments are impossible or inconvenient! God, having prescribed salvation to a person, did not, of course, with the intention of making him a sinner by the hardship of these commandments. No! Eternity “.

           Of course, a regular and consistent fulfillment of God’s precepts for our nature seems extremely difficult, and therefore salvation is inconvenient: but the same divine word that initiated the commandments, contains both means not only for their convenient fulfillment, but also for joy in fulfillment. If this is initially veiled by a veil of mystery, then, of course, in order to better draw the practitioner to humility and to bring him closer to union with God through the indication of a direct refuge with him in prayer and the request for his paternal help. This is the secret of salvation, and not relying on one’s own efforts.

      DiBUDivenyk. – How much I would like to know about this secret, so that I could, through it as a means, somehow correct my lazy life for the glory of God and my salvation!

      DiSchiMNIk. – This secret is known to you, dear brother, from your book Love of Goodness in a Mistake. It consists in incessant prayer, which you have so thoroughly learned and which you have so zealously practiced and delighted in.

      DiBUDivenyk. – I will bow down before you, venerable father! For God’s sake, grant me, from your lips, to hear a useful secret about this salvation and about sacred prayer, which I most desire to hear and love to read as a reinforcement and joy for my sinful soul.

      DiSchiMNIk. – Although I cannot satisfy your desire with my own reflections on this lofty occupation, for I am still little experienced in this matter, but I have a very clear notebook of one spiritual writer on this very subject. If our interlocutors wish, I will bring one now and, if you like, I can read it to you. Thank you.

      ALL. – Do us the favor, venerable father! Do not deprive us of this healing knowledge.

The secret of salvation through unceasing prayer

What a truly pious Christian question this arises naturally in everyone’s mind, as a result of a feeling of corrupted and relaxed human nature and of the remnant of the original desire for truth and righteousness. Everyone, though admittedly having some faith in immortality and the reward of eternal life, falls automatically into thought about how to save oneself when he casts his gaze towards heaven… Struggling to solve this task, he asks about it from people of sense and knowledge, then reads them on their guidance books of spiritual writers, drawing from them the proven truths and rules on this subject. In all these teaching he finds presented as necessary conditions for salvation: a pious life, ascetic efforts and labour on one’s own self in order to commit oneself resolutely to good deeds, to the constant performance of all God’s commandments, which testify to unshakable faith. If they are carried out with deep humility and in conjunction, for just as all the virtues depend on one another, they must sustain one another, perfect one another and inspire one another; in the same way as the rays of the sun only give out their strength and produce sparks when they are concentrated through glass in one very small spot.

            Guided in this way, the person seeking salvation readily begins to follow the instructions and additions to the studies of all that is sensed and read. But, alas! on the very first step of his desire, he finds no way to achieve his goal, anticipating and even feeling that his damaged and weakened nature will take the upper hand over the convictions of the mind; that his free will is bound, his inclinations corrupted, and the strength of the soul weakened. In such a conscious awareness of his powerlessness, he naturally comes to the thought that there is no means to help fulfil what the law of God commands, what Christian piety demands, and what those who have been granted salvation and holiness have accomplished. As a result, in order to reconcile the demands of reason and conscience with the inability of the executive powers, he turns again to the preachers of salvation with the question: how can I be saved? How can I justify the impossible conditions of salvation? And can the preacher himself consistently fulfil all that he teaches? “Ask God, pray to God that He will help you!” Would it not be better, then, to learn about prayer sooner or always, and to learn to do things that are required by Christian piety and that lead to salvation? The questioner concludes, and at the same time begins to study prayer, read, reflect, understand the teachings of those who have written about this subject. Indeed, he finds many good thoughts, deep knowledge and expressions among them. Another thoroughly reflects on the necessity of prayer; another – on its power, beneficence, on the obligation to pray, on the fact that prayer requires diligence, attention, warmth of spirit, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and so on, which should be present in prayer …

            What is prayer in itself and how should one pray? Since it is very rare to find thorough and generally understood explanations of these, although the very first and most necessary questions, a zealous person seeking prayer is left under the cover of mystery. From general reading, he is ingrained in his memory with a pious but only external aspect of prayer, and he comes to the conclusion or conclusion that in order to pray, one must go to church, be baptized, bow, kneel, read the Psalter, canons, akathists, etc. …

This is a general concept of prayer for those who are not familiar with the writings on inner prayer and the contemplative works of the holy fathers. Finally, the seeker comes across a book called The Love of God, in which twenty-nine holy fathers have clearly described the science of true and essential heart prayer. Here the mystery of salvation and prayer begins to lift its veil for him, and he sees that it is to truly pray to turn the mind and the memory to the unceasing remembrance of God, to walk in His divine presence, to renounce oneself to His love through divine thinking, and to unite His name with the breath and movement of the heart, the guidance of Jesus Christ, or the making of Jesus’ prayer at any time and place and in every activity without ceasing.

            Although these bright truths, shining upon the seeker’s understanding and opening the path to the study and attainment of prayer, and convincing him to begin immediately to carry out these wise instructions, nevertheless, in his experiences, acting in periodic practices, he will not remain without difficulties until an experienced guide has fully revealed to him the mystery that only frequency or continuous prayer (however it may have been initially recited) is the only powerful means by which to attain perfection in inner prayer and the salvation of the soul. Part of prayer is the foundation or foundation that holds everything in the round of saving activity, as the Holy Simeon, the New Theologian, affirms: “He who constantly prays, in this one, has acquired all good things” (ibid.).

            To present this truth in its fullness, the guide develops it in the following symbols:

            For the salvation of the soul, first of all, true faith is needed. Sacred Scripture says: “It is impossible for God to be pleased without faith” (Heb. XI, 6).

            But from the same Sacred Scripture it is clear that a person cannot on his own restore faith even to a tiny grain. That faith is not from us, because it is a gift of God; that faith, as a spiritual gift, is given by the Holy Spirit.

            What, then, is to be done? How are the needs of man for faith to be reconciled with the impossibility for man to regenerate himself? In the same Sacred Scripture, the means are revealed and examples are given: “Ask and it will be given to you.” The apostles could not on their own work out the perfection of faith, but they prayed to Jesus Christ: “Lord, give us faith.” Here is an example of obtaining faith. From this it appears that faith is acquired through prayer.

    For the salvation of the soul, true faith requires good works: righteous deeds, because “faith without works is dead,” because through deeds a person is proved, not through faith alone, and “if anyone wishes to enter into the innermost parts of the womb, he must obey the commands, not to kill, not to commit adultery, but to love his neighbor and hate evil, for he himself. And all these commandments must be observed together. “If the whole law is kept, how can anyone be condemned?” Thus teaches St. James the Apostle.

    St. Paul, realizing the weakness of human beings, says that “the works of the law cannot justify every flesh.”For I know that the law is spiritual; and as I am feeble, I cannot maintain, by my own strength, the commandments that I should keep . I am a sinner completely enslaved by sin . without the ability to justify myself by the commandments?

    There is no ability until I ask for it, until I pray for it. “Do not boast, do not ask. ” St. Paul explains a reason. And Jesus Christ Himself says: “Without Me you can do nothing .” And how to do this, He teaches as follows: “Those who remain in Me will bear much fruit .” To be with Him means to constantly feel His presence, constantly ask Him: “Whatever you ask in My name, I will do .” Therefore, the opportunity to perform good deeds is gained through prayer itself! The example of this is seen in the Apostle Paul himself, who three times prayed for the overcoming of temptations, kneeled before God the Father, asked Him to give assurance in the inner man, and finally commanded that the first thing to do is to recite prayers and to pray incessantly for everything. From all that has been said, it follows that the whole spiritual salvation of man depends on prayer, and therefore it is, firstly, first and foremost necessary, because it quickens faith, through it all the virtues are fulfilled. In short, through prayer, everything succeeds, and without it, no Christian virtue can take place.

            True prayer requires certain conditions: it must be offered with purity of thought and heart, with intense effort, with profound attention, with trembling reverence, and with profound humility. But who in honest conscience does not admit that he is far from the conditions for true prayer, namely, that he makes his prayer not out of a genuine need, not out of force of will, but out of love for prayer and desire to pray? This is what the Sacred Scripture testifies, that man is unable to clear his mind of irrelevant thoughts: “Does man have a mind to evil from his youth?” (Job 34:11) which is the only God who gives us a new heart and a new spirit (Titus 3:5), “that what is pleasing to God is what children of God are.” And the Apostle Paul himself said: “My spirit prays, but my mind is fruitless” (Rom 8:26). And “I do not know whether when we pray we are praying with a pure heart.” (1 Tm 4:2) – he confirms it. Hence, we are unable to express the essential qualities of prayer in our prayer!

            What then remains of each person’s freedom and power to save his soul? He cannot acquire faith without prayer, nor good works; lastly, he cannot truly pray. What is left for him, which is presented to his freedom and powers, so that he does not perish but is saved?

            Since in every matter there is a quality, the Lord has presented it by His will and gift. And in order more clearly to show the dependence of man on God’s will and to immerse him more deeply in the humility of wisdom, God has left the will and powers of human beings with one specific quantity of prayer, ordering them to pray continuously at every moment and in every place. And thus the mysterious way of attaining true prayer, together with faith, fulfillment of the commandments, and salvation, is revealed. To the part of man is given a quantity. The part of prayer is given to his will … This is precisely how the Fathers of the Church teach. St. Macarius the Great says: “Sometimes to pray somewhat is in our power, but truly to pray is a gift of grace.” Saint Isaac the Syrian says that the frequency of prayer is a habit and turns into a nature; that without the constant invocation of the name of Jesus Christ it is impossible to purify the heart.The Holy Fathers first of all advise us to begin our deeds and virtues with prayer to the Name of Jesus Christ often, continuously, because often and impure prayer can be purified. Blessed Diodex affirms that if one constantly calls upon God’s Name (prays), he will not fall into sins. What learned and wise practical advice these Fathers give us! In their exploratory simplicity they shed light on ways and means for the refinement of the soul. How very different they are from the moral principles of theoretical reason! Reason urges: do this and that well, be strong, apply the force of the will, be assured of the good consequences of virtue, for example, – cleanse the mind and the heart of unnecessary thoughts, fill the place of these thoughts with instructive reflections, do good, and you will be respected and at peace, live as reason requires, and all these despite every effort do not achieve their goal without frequent prayer, and without enlisting the help of God. Let us now look at other teachings of the Fathers and see how they tell us, for example, about the purification of the soul. St. Lycia says: “When the soul is darkened by impure thoughts, use the Name of Jesus to defeat your adversaries by repeating it frequently. No weapon more powerful or more effective will be found either in heaven or on earth.” St. Gregory the Synaxarite instructs: “Know that no one can keep his mind in restraint by his own efforts, but when impure thoughts darken the soul, call on the Name of Jesus Christ more often and in many ways, and the thoughts will die out of themselves.” What a simple and convenient, yet experienced, method this is, and what a contrast to the counsel of theoretical reason which seeks to achieve purity by its own self-sustaining activity! Having understood these learned teachings of the Holy Fathers, we come to the true conclusion that the main, the only and the most convenient way to acquire the means of salvation and spiritual perfection is to form a part, and to make prayer continuous, no matter how weak that prayer might be.

            Christian soul! If you do not find within yourself the strength to worship God in spirit and truth; if your heart does not yet feel the warmth and sweetness of intellectual and inner prayer, then offer in prayer sacrifice what you can, what is in your will, that is proportionate to your strength. Let your lower mouth be like the first, with an unceasing prayer. Let it constantly call upon the mighty name of Jesus Christ. This is no great effort, and it is within everyone’s reach. At the same time, it is required by the experience and experienced commandment of the saint. The Apostle says, “Let us offer sacrifice continually to God, a sacrifice of praise, pleasing to him …” 

            A spiritual writer makes a remarkable observation on this subject. He says: “I know,” he says, “that for many false-abiding, shallow philosophers who seek everywhere for false greatness and “shining” feats before the eyes of reason and pride, the simple, oral and one-time, but frequent exercise in prayer, seems to them a futile, insignificant occupation, or an inferior occupation. They forget the instructions of Jesus Christ – ‘If you do not become like little children, you cannot enter the Kingdom of God’;  they make up some doctrine for prayer, on the slippery ground of natural reason.  Did not our Divine Master himself praise such frequent prayer? nameless, unnecessary! All that is needed is to continue it, not to neglect it, and not to worry; it will cleanse itself of its own accord. 

            Therefore, after all these convincing arguments that the frequency of prayer, despite its weakness, is of such a powerful nature that it is easily accessible to man and lies entirely within his will, — dare to try, at least for one day, to observe yourself, to note the frequency of your prayer, so that your prayer on the call of the name of Jesus Christ will be far more frequent; and this advantage of prayer over earthly affairs — will inevitably prove to you that on that day you have not lost anything, but gained salvation; that on the scales of God’s judgment, frequent prayer counterbalances your weaknesses and your deeds, and erases the sins of that day in the memory book of your conscience, raising you to a degree of righteousness and granting you hope of being sanctified in eternal life.  (From the author’s manuscript, obtained by Father Ambrose from the Dobro monastery).

       CONSTRUER. — With all my heart, thank you, holy father! You have given my sinful soul pleasure with this reading. For the sake of the Lord, bestow your blessing upon me, that I may be able to transcribe this list for myself – I will write it down in a few hours. Everything that has been read is so wonderful and delightful, and my poor mind understands it exactly, just as the holy fathers of the shrine have discussed it in “Dobrotolyubie”. In Bot, for example, Ilon Kaparpischevsky in the 4th part of “Dobrotolyubie” also says that if you do not have the strength for moderation and active deeds, know that the Lord wants to save you through prayer. And in your notebook, how beautifully and clearly everything is spread out. Thank God, first, and then you, that I was allowed to hear this!

Professor. And yet, I have listened with respect and pleasure to your lecture, Reverend Father! All the arguments are most convincing, as far as strict logic is concerned; they seem to me wonderful. But at the same time, it seems to me that the possibility of continuous prayer is conditioned mainly by favourable circumstances and complete solitude. For it is certain that frequent or incessant prayer is the only and most powerful way of obtaining the grace of helping hands in all the tasks of holiness and the consecration of the soul, a way which is accessible to human strength, but which can be used only when a person has the opportunity to be alone and in peacefulness: free from work, worries and appointments; all he has to do is fight against laziness or boredom of thought. If he is obliged to his position, to his constant work, is constantly forced to be among people, and would like to pray often, he cannot do so because of inevitable distraction. So the only way of frequent prayer in favourable circumstances can be used by everyone.P. & nbsp;. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & amp; nbsp; NOTE.& nbsp; – It is pointless to say this! Not to mention how the heart, trained in inner prayer, can always, in all occupations (both physical and mental) and in any noise, freely pray and invoke the divine name (the guide knows this himself, and the non-savvy needs a gradual education in this). We can confidently say that no side can pray. because the secret human thought is not subject to any external link, and is quite free within itself; it can be felt and turned into prayer at any time, even language can secretly express prayer without an external sound, in the presence of many people, and even during external activities; and yet, our activities are not so important, and our conversations are not so interesting, that we cannot find convenience to call the name of Jesus Christ during them, even if the mind is not yet accustomed to continuous prayer; although, of course, seclusion and scattering of objects are the main condition for attentive and uninterrupted prayer; but if this is not possible, one should not apologize for the lack of prayer: because the number of opportunities available to each person – both healthy and sick – consists in his will. There are examples to prove this, who were burdened with obligations, entertaining posts, worries, worries, and work, not only always called upon the divine name of Jesus Christ, but even through this they learned and reached continuous inner prayer of the heart. Thus, Patriarch Photius, who was raised to the rank of patriarch by the senators, while managing the great Constantinople flock, was constantly in the calling of the divine name, and even through this he learned and reached spontaneous, heartfelt prayer. Thus, the simple-hearted Lazarus, burdened with continuous works on the brethren, was constantly, amidst all the noisy activities, uttering the Lord’s prayer and finding consolation. And many others who similarly practiced continuous invocation of the divine name. If it were impossible to pray in distractions or in the company of people, then, of course, it would not be commanded to do the impossible. St. John Chrysostom, in his sermon on prayer, says the following. “No one should assume that it is impossible to always pray while engaged in life’s concerns, or that one cannot be in the temple. Everywhere, where you are, you can put up an altar to God in your mind through prayer.” One can pray anywhere. In fact, if a person pays close attention to himself, he will find everywhere a convenience for prayer, provided he is convinced that prayer should be the main occupation before all his obligations, affairs, and cares. one should not fidget unnecessarily in one’s affairs, so as to gain more time for quiet prayer through all this. presenting the possibilities and will of man, and that in every time, situation, and place it is possible and convenient to go from frequent vocal prayer to intellectual, and from this to heartfelt prayer, which opens the kingdom of God within us.

      Professor.  I agree that during all mechanical occupations it is possible, and even convenient, to perform frequent, or even continuous, prayer, because mechanical handiwork does not require intense concentration and many considerations, and therefore my mind can simultaneously engage in unceasing prayer and let my lips follow suit. But when I have something entirely intellectual to do, such as an attentive reading, or an elaborate consideration of a profound subject, or a work, how can I pray at the same time mentally and vocally? And since prayer is principally a matter for the mind, how can I give different occupations to the same mind?

      The Schemer.  The solution of this question of yours will be very easy if we take into consideration the fact that prayers are divided into three categories: 1) for beginners, 2) for students, and 3) for those who have mastered prayer. Therefore, beginners may have frequent recitations of the mind and the heart to God, and the recital of a brief oral prayer; and those who can rise to the level of students or have an unbroken state of mind might engage in reflection or a work of thought in a constant presence of God, as the basis for prayer. We can illustrate this by the following example. Imagine that a strict and demanding king orders you to prepare a reflection on a profound subject given to you — in his presence — at the foot of his throne; however you are thoroughly absorbed in your subject, the presence of the king, whose hand holds your life, dominating you, does not allow you to forget for a moment that you are reflecting, understanding, and composing not alone, but in a place that requires special reverence, respect, and decorum. This feeling and the lived sense of the king’s proximity clearly expresses the possibility of engaging in unceasing interior prayer while engaged in intellectual exercises.

            For those who have acquired a long practice of or the grace of God to engage in heart rather than mental prayer, they not only during a profound mental occupation, but even in their sleep do not cease of ceaseless prayer, as the Wise Man says: ” I sleep, but my heart is awake.&8221; God I’m saying that by awakening oneself to prayer, one instills the mind and the whole soul in a constant prayer flow, a state in which the person who prays was not and with which one could engage in the most abstract and intellectual activities.

      Elder.  – Allow me, Reverend Father, to express my thoughts. In the article you read, it is beautifully expressed that the only way to salvation and perfection is part of prayer – “whatever it may be”… For me, this is incomprehensible, and so I think that what will be the result if I constantly pray and call only in the language of Imya God, but not by it? This will be just wasted speech! The consequence of this will be that the language is debased, and the mind, which prevents this in its reflections, also suffers damage to its ability to function. God demands not words, but an attentive mind and a purified heart. Is it not better, even if only occasionally, or at a fixed time, to perform even a short prayer, but with attention, diligence, warmth of heart, and a worthy concept? And unless, even day and night, you utter a prayer, but do not have purity of soul and good works of virtue, then you will not gain anything helpful; but if you remain with only an external mouthful of nonsense, and eventually get tired and bored, you will come to the conclusion that, having cooled faith in prayer completely, you will completely abandon this fruitless practice.
“ The futility of oral prayer can also be seen in the criticisms presented in Holy Scripture, such as: “People who worship me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. ” “Not every one who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven. ” “I want to say a hundred words with my heart, rather than a darkness of words in my tongue.”

      CONCLUSION. – Your conclusion might have some basis, were it not joined to the advice of the oral prayer, – the continuity and constancy; were the prayer in the Name of Jesus Christ not endowed with self-acting power, and did not require attention and effort as a result of the gradualness of the practice of prayers. But since what is here being considered is the frequency, duration, and continuity of prayer (even though at first it was accompanied by inattention or dryness), let us examine this more closely. One spiritual writer, convincing the greatest benefits and fruitfulness of frequent prayer, expressed in uniform words, concludes: “Although many uneducated people consider this verbal and frequent creation of the same prayer to be futile and even uninteresting, calling it mechanical and absurd; the mysteries that are subsequently revealed by this mechanical practice do not know how this silent but frequent utterance becomes a real cry of the heart, penetrates the interior, becomes more pleasant, becomes as natural to the soul, illuminates it, nourishes it, and leads to communion with God. The children who were brought up to learn the alphabet and reading; the dullness of this mere repitition of letters was a mystery to them. Did you not purify your soul first? Did you not impose on yourself a fast, did you not deprive your body of nourishing and irritating food? That is, you were disposing yourself to God-reverence, so that you might easily forget it. And you have personally experienced that, through the exterior fast of your body, you acquire the interior refinement of your mind, the tranquility of your heart, the weapon to overcome passions, and a reminder of spiritual exercise. And in this way, with the aid of exterior matter, you acquire the internal spiritual benefit. Prayer, which, through its long-term development, develops the inner prayer of the heart: it kindles and promotes intellectual communion with God. Sometimes it happens that one has undertaken to incessantly call on the Name of Jesus Christ, or, what is the same, to constantly pronounce the Lord’s Prayer, and usually at first feels the work and struggles with indolence. But the longer and more one practices it, the more he becomes accustomed to this occupation, so that subsequently, without much effort, unnoticed, so that subsequently, without any effort, the lips move unceasingly and recite the prayer without a voice. The inclination to incline and listen to this involuntary action of the lips, is being aroused to attention, and this is, in fact, the source of the sweetness of the heart and of true prayer. To these objections you have brought, they are explained by the proper consideration of them. They did not recognize it with their hearts. This does not refer to the reading of the prayer, which Jesus Christ explicitly and positively, or certainly, recommended thus: “Pray always and do not beat your breast” (nor do you grumble). or in a meaningless or unfamiliar language in church, understanding this to refer to public preaching, not to prayer itself, which he says positively: “Let them pray at all times” and generally advises: “Meditate continuously” – the correct understanding of the Holy Scripture?

       CONSTRUCTION WORKER. Yes, honestly, good father, I have seen many people who, without any educational instruction, and without knowing what attention is, spontaneously create a continuous Jesus prayer, achieving that their mouths and tongues could not restrain themselves from expressing a prayer that later so delighted and enlightened them, and from weak and unrighteous people.

       DEVIL’S SLOT. Yes! Prayer seems to transform a person. Its power is so powerful that no force of passion can withstand it. If you wish, I will read you, brothers, a short but interesting article that I brought with me on the way out.

       ALL. With a reverential pleasure, let’s listen!

       DEVIL’S SLOT.

Confession of the power and effect of prayer

           Prayer is so strong and powerful that, having prayed and done what you wish, prayer will lead you to the proper and righteous act.

           For godly deeds, nothing more is necessary than to love,-love and do whatever you desire, says the blessed Augustine. For he who truly loves, cannot desire to do anything that is not pleasing to his beloved… Since prayer is the outpouring and effect of love, one might say of it that love does all that you desire, and by this means you shall attain the end of prayer, and shall receive it as a sanctification.

           To develop this subject more fully, we shall illustrate by examples:

1) Pray, and think all that you desire, and your thoughts will be purified by prayer. Prayer will give enlightenment to your mind, calm and overcome all unsuitable thoughts. – This is what St. Gregory the Sinaite says: “If you wish, he advises, to chase away your thoughts and purify your mind, chase them away by prayer, for nothing can bound up the thoughts except prayer.” – The same thing is said by St. John the Ladder: “By the name of Jesus, you conquer imaginary enemies, without this weapon you shall find none other.”

           2) Pray, and do what you desire, and your deeds will be pleasing to God, and beneficial and saving to you.

Frequent prayer, regardless of what it is, will not remain fruitless (Mark the Ascetic) because it has grace in itself. “The Lord’s holy name and every one who calls upon the Lord’s name will be saved.” For example, he who prayed in vain in godlessness in this prayer received grace and an invitation to repent. The lustful girl prayed on her return, and prayer pointed her the way to a chaste life and to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

            3) Pray, and do not work very hard to overcome your passions with your own power. Prayer will destroy them in you: “What afflicts you is what is in the world,” the holy scripture says. St. John Chrysostom teaches that if you do not have the gift of temperance, do not be sad; but know that God demands that you make an effort to pray, and prayer will save you.

            The description in the Hostitnitsa of an old man who “lost the season of victory,” that is, when he fell into sin, did not grieve, but turned to prayer and with humility – serves as a confirming example of this.

            4) Pray and do not be afraid of anything, do not be afraid of poverty, do not be afraid of misfortune, prayer will protect you, remove them. Remember the drowned man Peter; Paul who prayed in prison; the monk who was saved from temptation by prayer, and similar cases: this confirms the power, strength and all-encompassing nature of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

5) Pray, at least in some way, always, and do not be ashamed of anything; be spiritually cheerful and peaceful: prayer will take care of everything and teach you. Remember that holy men like St. John Chrysostom and Mark the Ascetic speak of the power of prayer: the first says that “prayer, though offered by us, who are full of sin, cleanses immediately…” And the other says that “to pray in some way lies in our own powers, but to pray purely is the gift of grace.” Therefore, that which is within your powers, offer to God; albeit the amount is possible for you to offer Him as sacrifice, and God’s power is poured out on your weak powers; and dry and scattered prayer, but frequent – always, having acquired the habit, and having turned into nature, will become pure, bright, flame-like, and worthy prayer.

            6) Finally, if your waking hours were accompanied by prayer, then naturally there would not be time not only for sinful deeds but even for thoughts about them.

            Now you can see how many profound thoughts are concentrated in this wise expression: “Love, and do what you will. Pray, and do what you will!” – How joyful and gratifying is all this for a sinner burdened by weaknesses, for one who is weighed down by struggling passions! 

            Prayer is here, dear reader, as an all-encompassing remedy for salvation and perfection of the soul, but it is also closely associated here with its condition: “Be unceasing in prayer,” the word of the Prophet warns. Therefore, prayer will reveal its all-encompassing power and fruit when it is carried out often, continuously, for prayer is always under our own control: as is purity, diligence, and perfection of prayer, which are gifts of grace. 

            Let us, therefore, pray as often as possible, dedicate our whole life to prayer, even if it is difficult at first!  Oftentimes, practice will teach us attention, and quantity will inevitably lead to quality. 

      FATHER. Prayer is truly a great thing! But a zeal for its frequency is the key to unlocking its beneficial treasures. But how often do I encounter a struggle in me between zeal and laziness! How desirable it would be to find a means and help for victory, and to be constantly engaged in prayer! 

      Doctor. Many spiritual writers present various means based on a healthy understanding – to inspire diligence in prayers: such as: 

            1) They advise us to delve into reflections on the necessity, advantage, and fruitfulness of prayer for the salvation of the soul. 

            2) They firmly convince us that God certainly requires prayers from us, and His word declares it everywhere. 

            3) We should constantly remember that, with negligence and negligence concerning prayer, we cannot get ahead in the works of holiness and gain peace and salvation; and therefore we will inevitably experience this as a punishment both on earth and in eternal life. 

            4) Let us be inspired by the determination of the examples of God’s Servants, who all achieved sanctification and salvation through unceasing prayer, and so on. 

            Although all these means have their validity and derive from a true understanding, but the ill-nourished soul, accepting and using them, rarely sees their fruitfulness because these medicines are bitter for its pampered taste and weak for its deeply compromised nature. For some Christians do not understand that prayer should be frequently and diligently, as God requires; that we will suffer punishment for negligence in prayer, that all the saints prayed diligently and incessantly; nevertheless, this knowledge rarely produces its beneficial result! Every observer sees in himself that he either does not do enough or does not deserve the fruits of these ideas of reason and conscience, and, remembering this, he lives just as badly and lazily…

Bishop. Is it not possible for an inexperienced person to be led by such reflections into spiritual fondness, as theologians call the tendency of the soul to seek excessive joys and ecstasy of grace, without being satisfied with what it is obliged to do in piety and virtue, without dreaming of a reward?

       THE SCRIPTURE OF THE EVIL ONE. – The most eloquent word about this subject is said by one of the great theologians, St. Makarios of Egypt, thus: “Just as in the planting of the vineyard, diligence and work are added in order to collect the fruits, and if there are no fruits, then the whole thing will be in vain; so too, in prayer, if the fruits of spiritual fruits, that is, love, peace, joy, and other goals, or the hope of the fruits, that is, the enjoyment of sweetness in our hearts, must be pursued” (paragraph 3, chapter 5). Do you see how clearly this holy Father has answered the question about the need for joy in prayer? … And yet there is something else I recently came across that is the main reason for the desire to drink; and therefore, the examination of this nature may also serve as a powerful means to arouse diligence in prayer, which the professor is so keen to seek, examining that no action can take place without a cause, and following the steps of sensible things from the lower to the higher, and eventually reaching the ultimate cause, God. Therefore, no race, no tribe of savages has ever been, and there is none, without any idea about God. something tugs at something unknown… It is from this reason that all natural religions are manifested, and it is amazingly wonderful that the essence, or soul, of every religion is made up of a secret prayer, which is signified by some form of movements and a visible, primitive concept of the pagan people! … As marvelous as this phenomenon looks in the eyes of reason, it requires even more from it to reveal the mysterious cause of this marvelous phenomenon, which is expressed in the natural longing for prayer.

The psychological answer to this is not complicated: the root, the division and the strength of all desires and actions in man is innate self-love. This is clearly confirmed by the fundamental and universal idea of self-preservation. Every desire, every enterprise, every human action is aimed at the satisfaction of self-love, the search for one’s own good. The satisfaction of this need accompanies all the life of a natural man. But the human spirit is not satisfied with anything sensory, and innate self-love never falters in its longing; therefore, desires develop more and more, the aspiration to good grows, fills the imagination and sets this feeling apart. The discharge of this inner feeling and desire is naturally aroused, there is a need for self-love that is difficult to achieve its goals. The less a person achieves success and the more he is concerned with his own good, the more he desires, the more he expresses his desire in prayer; he turns to an unknown cause of all that exists with a petition for what he desires. Thus, innate self-love – the main dynamic of life – is the root cause that arouses a natural man to prayer!

The wise Creator of nature has instilled in the nature of man the capacity of self-love as bait, in the words of the Fathers, that would lure and lead fallen human beings to a mountain meeting.

            Oh, if only a person didn’t abuse this ability and keep it superior to his or her spiritual nature! Then he or she would have great encouragement and a means to achieve moral perfection. But, alas! How often does this noble ability become a ridiculous passion of selfishness when it is used as a tool of one’s animal nature!

            I thank you wholeheartedly, my dear visitors! Your soul-saving conversation has greatly pleased me, and has given me much instructive insight. May the Lord grant his grace through your loving fellowship.

            Everyone took leave.

Seventh Meeting: Spiritual Conversations

‘Pray for one another and heal’ (James V, 16).

      BUILDER. – My pious companion, Professor, and I could not overcome our common desire to set out on the journey and not to pay a final visit and ask for your prayers for us. . . .

      PROFESSOR. – Yes, your sincerity and the saving conversations that we enjoyed with you among your friends are clear to us. This memory will remain in our souls as a guarantee of fellowship and Christian love, even in the distant country to which we are going.

            – Thank you for your memory and love, and meanwhile, as your arrival is timely! I have two wanderers who have stopped: a Moldavian monk and a hermit who has lived for twenty years in silence in the forest. They want to see you, I will now call them. . . .

            Here they are!

      BUILDER. – Ah, what a blessed life in the desert! And convenient for unhindered bringing the soul to unity with God! The silent forest, like the Edenic Garden, in which the tree of life grows sweetly in the prayerful heart of the hermit. If I had any means of nourishment, I would not have parted with the hermit’s life.

      PROFESSOR. – Everything seems especially good to us from afar, and each person, according to experience, is convinced that every place, having its own conveniences, has its own disadvantages. Of course, for those who have a melancholic temperament and a tendency to solitude, life in solitude is comforting, but there are many dangers on this path! The ascetic tradition presents many examples in which it can be seen how many hermits and hermits have completely deprived themselves of contact with people, have fallen into self-deception and deep deception.

      Pustelnik.  – I am surprised to hear how often, not only in monastic monasteries, but even among some god-fearing laymen, one hears the fear that many who are drawn to a life of solitude, or to inner prayer, are deterred from following this inclination by the fear of falling victim to temptation. They offer examples in support of their assertions; that while they themselves shun inner life, they discourage others from it. I think this comes from two sources: either from a lack of understanding of the matter and spiritual ignorance, or from laziness and jealousy about not being surpassed in these higher attainments by others who are on a lower level than them. To this, the Holy Fathers offer their reasoning on the matter, who directly and decisively teach that one should not fear or doubt, calling on God. If some have fallen into self-deception or delirium, this has happened to them because of pride, lack of a teacher, and acceptance of appearances and dreams as truth. If such a temptation did occur (they continue), it would lead to discernment and enlightenment; for the prompt help of God intervenes in such a temptation. Dare! I am with you, do not be afraid! says Jesus Christ. (Gr. Sin. l. f.) This means that it is in vain to fear and threaten the interior life on the pretext of self-deception: for humble awareness of one’s sins, openness of the soul to the instructor, and “incognito” in prayer, are a firm and secure bulwark against temptation, which so many fear, and so many fear, and so many fear, and so many fear, and so many are afraid that they are afraid. As St. Philo of Sinai says, “Many of the monks do not understand the temptation of their minds, which is experienced from demons; that is, they diligently practice only one activity (in the external virtues), but they do not carefully take care of their minds, that is, of inner contemplation; as if they heard about others who have been affected by the grace of the interior, they consider this as jealousy.” confirms St. Philip the Apostle of the Apostles.

      Пустельник.  – Там, де присутність досвідченого и хорошо обучаемого в духовных делах наставника, или старца, которому можно беззаботно открыть свой живот, мысли и встречи на пути внутреннего поучения, относится к основным условиям умаления в сердечной молитве, которая практикуется в безмолвии: родители, которые об этом упомянули, исключаются. Преподобный Никифор чернореченский ясно учит об этом: „Преобладающее условие в сердечной молитве, которая практикуется в безмолвии, состоит в том, чтобы иметь настоящего и совершенного наставника. Если его нет, то нужно стараться найти его: если не находишь его, то с сокрушением сердца направить свою просьбу к Богу о том, чтобы получить наставление и руководство из Священного Писания.” При этом следует принять во внимание также то, что истинного серьезного искания можно услышать и от простых людей, поскольку и святые Отцы посоветуют, что если с верой и правильным намерением задаешь вопрос простому человеку, то он тоже может дать хорошую адекватную информацию; если же без веры и справедливости потребуешь наказание от пророка, то и он не удовлетворит тебя. Пример такого случая мы можем увидеть у Великого Макария Египетского, которому однажды разъяснили как лучше жить простой крестьянин. Что касается безсмотрения, то есть чтобы совершенно не воспринимать и не принимать никаких явлений ни во время разглядывания, ни видение света, ни Ангела, ни Христа и любого Святого, и отвернуться от всяких мрeжданий; то это повелевают опытные святые Отцы, по разуму, точно из-за того, что ум способен с легкостью иметь в своем представлении или, как бы оживлять представление; и в связи с тем, что неопытный легко может быть преждевременно воспользован этими мрeжданиями, почитать их как явления благодатных, и попасть в самообман, а при этом, как и показывают слова Святого Писания, что всемогущий подражает ангелу света. А то, что разум естественно и с легкостью может достостливо находиться в состоянии безсмотрения и его сохранять, также наблюдается из того, что способность представления может всерьез представлять что-то в состоянии безсмотрения и поддерживать в своем представлении предмет, который не подвластен поражению, который не имеет формы, которая не поддается измерению для человека, находящегося на холоде! Так, например, представление и само по себе ощущение нашей души – вихрь, тепло, холод; при холоде легко можно представить в умы тепло, хотя оно и не имеет формы, не подвластно зору, не измеримо тактическим способом того, кто находится на холоде! Подобным образом присутствие духовного и непостижимой Божественной Истоты можно представить в своем уме и понять в своем сердце в состоянии безсмотрения.

Architect – In my wanderings I have also heard from pious and seeking people that they are afraid to touch the inner work by the thought of the lure. Some have even benefited from the admonitions of St. Gregory the Sinaite in the book The Love of Goodness, who says: “The work of the heart cannot be magical (not like the work of the mind), because if the enemy wished to turn the warmth of the inner work into his own chaotic burning; or to replace the joy of the heart with moist enjoyment: but time, experience and feelings will inevitably distort these attempts, even for those who are not very loving and appreciative of what they have….”

      Пустельник.  – I think that the spirit of sadness and doubtful thoughts are most easily aroused by the dispersion of the mind, and not by the suppression of silent reference to the world and to oneself. The ancient sages raised themselves above despair by inner illumination and strengthening in the hope of God, in peaceful silence and solitude; and they gave us useful and wise advice in this case: “Sit in your cell in silence, and it will teach you everything.”

      PROFESSOR. – According to my commission to you, I am very eager to hear your critical analysis of my thoughts about the praised silence and the beneficial benefits of solitude, which the hermits so much love to keep. Here is how I reason about it: since all men, by the law of nature, commanded by the Creator, are in a necessary dependence on one another; and therefore they are obliged to help each other in life, and to work for one another and be useful to one another, this fraternity is the foundation of human prosperity and love for one’s neighbor. And what can the silent recluse, who has withdrawn from the communion with men, do in his inaction to serve his neighbor, and what benefit does he bring to the well-being of human society? He completely destroys in himself the Creator’s law regarding the union of love for one’s like and the beneficial influence on one’s fellow man!..

      Pustelnik.  – Since your view on silence is not true, then the conclusion is not correct; let’s examine this in detail:

            1. The isolated silent person is not only not in an idle and empty state, but rather acts and even more than one who participates in social life. He tirelessly acts with his highest rational nature: he observes, understands, and monitors the state and course of his moral being. This is the true goal of silence! And as much as it is useful for his own improvement, so is it for those around him who are deprived of the opportunity to dive unspoiled into themselves, for the development of moral life, because the observant silent person, communicating his internal experiences, either orally (under exceptional circumstances), or by writing them, blesses and helps more and higher than the public and private benefactor, because the private, sensual benefaction of worldly people is always limited to a small number of benefactors; and the benefactor, acquiring convictions and experienced ways of improving the spiritual life, becomes a benefactor of entire nations; his discoveries and sciences pass from generation to generation, as we see, and which we have been using for ages. And what does not differ from the generous charity of Christ for the sake of Christian love, but even surpasses it in its consequences.

2. The beneficent and useful influence of the silent one on his neighbours is revealed not only in the teaching of his contemplative observations on inner life, but even the very example of his detached life benefits the attentive layman, leading him to self-awareness and to a sense of reverence… inciting him to a pious life, reminding him of what a person can be on earth, and how easily he can return to his original state of contemplation, from which he came out of the hands of the Creators. The silent hermit of silence teaches, converses by his very life, praises and convinces to the search for God…Monk. It seems to me that no one has so clearly appreciated the advantages of silence as St. John the Ladder: “Silence, he says, is the mother of prayer, a return from the domain of sin, an insensible success in virtues, and an unceasing ascent to heaven.” And Jesus Christ Himself, to show us the benefit and necessity of solitary silence, often left the public preaching and went into silent places for prayer and tranquility.

            In short, they began to study together, passing on to each other what they understood; the subject of learning was the same. And what happened after a few days? The negligent became diligent, loved learning, neglect of it turned into diligence and diligence, which had a beneficial effect on his character and morality. And his diligent companion became even more capable and hardworking. They benefited each other through action. This is natural, for a person is born into the society of people, develops rational concepts through them; the customs of life, the moods of feelings, the desires of desires, in short, everything is taken over by the model of a similar person. And since the lives of people are in the closest relationship and have a powerful influence on each other, then whoever lives among people will adopt their customs, actions, and habits. Therefore, a cold one can be warmed up, a dull one can be sharpened, a lazy one can be stirred up to live activity by a person similar to him. The spirit of the spirit can transmit itself, can act beneficially upon each other: invite him to prayer, to attention, to encourage him in despair, to reject him from sin and to stir him up to holy activity, and therefore a helpful one can become a more pious, more active, and more godly person. He can be the support of another, can become a more godly, more active, and more godly person. Let him pray for each other, brethren!

            From this we can see that God is not satisfied with many petitions and supplications (as is the case in strong lands), but the spirit and power of prayer purify and awaken the soul for whom they pray, and present it as capable of union with God.

            If such a fruitful mutual prayer exists among those who live on earth, then it is self-evident that prayer for those who have died is also mutually beneficial, in the closest relationship between the heavenly and the earthly worlds; it can also bring souls – the Church of the warrior – into communion with those of the Church that has been victorious; or what is the same, with those who have passed on.

            Although all that I have said is a psychological judgment; but by revealing the Holy Scripture, we will be convinced of its truth!.. 1) This is what Jesus Christ tells the Apostle Peter: “Pray for you, so that your faith will not be weakened.” Here the power of Christ’s prayer strengthens Peter’s spirit and encourages him in the face of the persecution against the faith. 2) When the Apostle Peter was in prison: prayer was fervent in the church for him. Here is the help of the prayer of brothers in the sad circumstances of life… 3) But the clearest commandment about praying for others is expressed by the holy Apostle James as follows: “Revel in sins one to another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. Indeed, many are helped by the prayer of the righteous, let them hasten.” Here the above-mentioned psychological conclusion is confirmed clearly…

         Let us also say something about the example of the Apostle Paul, given to us as an example of prayer for one another. One writer remarks that this example of St. Paul should teach us how much we need mutual prayer for one another, when this holy and strong spiritual ascetic recognizes the need for this spiritual prayerful help. He expresses his request in his letter to the Hebrews in this way: Pray for us, because we have hope according to the good conscience of all those who are willing to live a good life. Having listened to this, how unreasonable would it be to rely only on our own prayers and achievements, when guided by humility, only duly blessed by a holy man, asks that the prayer of others (the Hebrews) be joined to his own? And therefore, with what humility, simplicity and union of love, should we not reject, not despise, the prayerful help of even the most powerful of the faithful, when the wise spirit of the Apostle Paul did not take care in this case for selectivity; but requested the joint prayer of all, knowing that the power of God is at work in weakness; therefore it can sometimes happen in weak, apparently prayerful ones.

Like these words, the soul repeats its movements or passes over the fingers – with this prayer. I have learned from experience how beneficial this prayer is to the one for whom it is said.