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Account for the First Story

The Begining of Travel and Search for Unceasing Prayer

The grace of God, I am a Christian and a great sinner in pleasures and wandering, devoid of a home, and in the lowest degree. My housing is this: a bag of bread on my back and the Holy Bible in my pocket; that’s all. Then on the twenty-fourth week after Troitska’s Day I went to church for lunch to pray; there was the first Apocalypse from the letter to the Thessalonians, verse 273, which says:Constantly pray. This expression made a special impression on my mind, and I began to think how one can pray without stopping when every person has other things to do for the sustenance of his life? I searched the Bible and there I saw in my own eyes something that I had heard — namely, that one should pray continuously, pray at every moment with one’s mind and with the mind, placing the prayerful hands at every place. I thought, thought, and did not know how to make a decision.

I thought, “What should I do? Where can I find someone to explain this to me?” I went to churches where good preachers were worshipped, hoping to hear something that would be of interest. And I went. I heard many good sermons about prayer. But they all explained what prayer is, how it is necessary to pray, and the fruits of prayer; there was no mention of how to succeed in prayer. There was a sermon about prayer in spirit and unceasing prayer; but no one explained how to achieve this kind of prayer. So listening to sermons did not bring me what I wanted. Why, after listening to them and not understanding how to pray continually, did I stop listening to public sermons and set out with God’s help to find an experienced and knowledgeable companion who could explain to me about unceasing prayer, which was the unrelenting desire of my heart?

  O Brother, I hear that we must pray unceasingly, but I don’t know how to pray unceasingly, and I do not even understand what continuous prayer means. Please, explain it to me.“

 I don’t know, my brother, how else to explain it to you. E! Listen, I have a book here, it is explained; and St. Dmitry’s spiritual teaching on the inner man is contained there. Here, read on this page.”

 I began to read the following: “The Apostolic sayings: pray unceasingly — we must understand as prayer that is present before the mind: the mind can always be attentive to God and unceasingly pray to Him.”

 Please, explain to me how the mind can always be attentive to God, without being distracted, and unceasingly pray.”

 This is very strange, whether only God himself gives him that ability, said the abbot. And he did not explain.”

 Having spent the night with him, and on the morning, after thanking him for his kind hospitality, I went on my way, not knowing where to go. I was anxious about my incomprehension, but for comfort I read the Holy Bible. I walked like that for nine days on a great road; at last, in the evening, an old man caught up with me, apparently from the religious.

 At my question, he said that he was a Hermit from a desert, which was 10 versts away, in the direction of the great road, and he invited me to go with him into their desert. They take travelers, comfort them, and feed them together with the laity at the hotel.”

 I did not really want to go in, and I answered his invitation like this: my peace does not depend on the room, but on spiritual guidance; I do not go after food, I have a lot of stale bread in my bag.”

 Which kind of guidance are you looking for and what are you wondering about? Come, come, my brother, to us; we have experienced elders who can give spiritual nurturing and guide us on the right path, in the light of God’s word and the reasoning of the holy fathers.”

Meeting with an Elder and the First Lessons in Prayer

Well, look, Father, about a year ago, I was in the dining room, and I heard the Apostle say this commandment: “Always pray.” I couldn’t understand this, so I started reading the Bible. And in many places, I found God’s command that one should pray constantly, always, at any time, in any place, not only during work but even in one’s sleep. “I sleep, but my heart watches.” This horrified me and I couldn’t understand how this was possible or what methods were involved; I was seized with a great desire and curiosity, and it did not even occur to my mind by day or night. So I began going to churches, listening to sermons about prayer; but I listened to as many as I could, but nowhere did I receive a lesson in how to pray constantly, or what such prayer means. I read the Bible often, comparing what I heard to it; but I could not find the knowledge I was looking for. And so I remained in confusion and worry.The old man crossed himself and began to speak: Thanks be to God, my beloved brother, for this revelation. In you there is an irresistible desire to know the unceasing interior prayer. Know in this capacity the Divine and comfort yourself, assuring yourself that up to this time you have been undergoing a trial of the conformity of your will to the voice of God, and it has been possible to discern that the heavenly light, the unceasing interior prayer, is not attained by the wisdom of this world and not by the insatiable striving of the exterior, but on the contrary; by the simplicity of the heart. And therefore it is not strange that you could not hear about the essential matter of prayer, nor learn the art of attaining its unceasing action. And to tell the truth, though many preach about prayer, and there are many discourses on it by various writers, but since all their reasoning is based mostly on speculation, on the reasoning of natural reason, and not on active experience, they are more likely to teach about the belonging of prayer than about its essence. One talks brilliantly about the necessity of prayer; another – about its power and goodness; the third – about the means to perfection in prayer, that is, that for prayer effort, attention, warmth of the heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies , humility, sorrow, etc. are necessary. And what is prayer? and how can one learn to pray? – on these, although the first and the most necessary questions, it is rare to find detailed explanations among the preachers of our time; therefore they are more difficult to understand than all the above-mentioned considerations, and require secret conduct, and not just academic science. What a shame, then, that superficial instinctive wisdom causes us to measure God by human standards. Many people consider the matter of prayer completely transformed, thinking that preparatory means and exercises create prayer, and not prayer that generates efforts and all the virtues. In this case, they wrongly take the fruits or consequences of prayer for its means and methods, and thus belittle the power of prayer. And this is very unfortunate for the Sacred Scripture: for the Apostle Paul gives instructions about prayer in the following words: I pray first of all, to make prayers . – Here the first instruction in the Apostle’s statement about prayer is that he places the matter of prayer first of all – I pray first of all, to make prayers .

        In this conversation, we have imperceptibly approached almost the very desert. In order not to miss this wise old man, or rather to obtain the fulfillment of my desire, I hastened to say to him: do me the favor, sincere father, explain to me what continuous interior prayer means, and how to learn it: I see that you know it in detail and thoroughly.

        The old man accepted my request with love and called me to himself: come into my cell, and I will give you the book of the Holy Fathers, from which you can clearly and fully understand and learn prayer with the help of God. We entered the cell, and the old man began to say the following: continuous internal Jesus prayer is a continuous, never-ceasing invocation of the Divine name of Jesus Christ with the mouth, mind, and heart, with the permanent awareness of His presence, and a request for His mercy, in all activities at any occupation. It is manifested in the following words: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! And if someone gets used to this invocation, he will feel great peace, and the need to always make this prayer so that it can no longer be done without prayer, and it will flow out of itself.

Now do you understand what continuous prayer is? – Very well, my father! Teach me, for the sake of God, how to achieve it! – I exclaimed with joy.

Reading The Good-loving Woman and spiritual progress

Let us read about how to learn prayer in this book. This book is called The Good-loving Woman. It contains a complete and detailed teaching on continuous internal prayer, based on the twenty-nine Holy Fathers, and it is so high and useful that it is considered the principal and most original mentor in contemplative spiritual life, and as St. Nicholas tells us, it “leads effortlessly and easily into salvation.”

– Is it higher and holier than the Bible? – I asked.

– No, it is not higher and holier than the Bible, but it contains explanations of the mysteries contained in the Bible, and is not easily intelligible to our farsighted reason. I present an illustration to this: the sun is the greatest, brightest, and most wonderful of all lights; but you cannot look at it with your simple, unweeded eye. A certain artificial glass, though a million times less and dimmer than the sun, is needed through which you could look at this splendid king of lights, admire and take in the rays of its splendor. In the same way, the Holy Scriptures are a shining sun, and The Good-loving Woman is the glass.

Then let me listen–I will read how to learn continuous inner prayer. – The Elder opened The Loving-kindness, found the instructions of Saint Symeon the New Theologian, and began: “Sit silently and alone, bow your head, close your eyes; breathe more gently, look with your imagination inside your heart, bring your mind down from your head into your heart. As you breathe, say: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Banish thoughts, exercise patience, and repeat this exercise more often.’

Then the Elder explained all this to me, gave me an example, and we read more from The Loving-kindness of Saint Gregory the Sinaiite and from the writings of Saint Calistus and Ignatius. Everything we read in The Loving-kindness, the Elder explained to me and added his own words. I listened with great interest, absorbed everything, and tried to remember as much as possible. Thus we remained up all night and, without sleeping, went to the morning service.

            The Elder dismissed me, blessed me, and said that while learning prayer, I should go to him with sincere confession and revelation, because without the guidance of a mentor, it is inconvenient and ineffective to engage in inner work on one’s own.

            While in church, I felt a burning willingness to learn inner continuous prayer as much as possible and asked God to help me. Then I thought about how I would go to the Elder for advice or to confess with revelation. After all, the inn would not let me stay more than three days, and there are no apartments near the desert. Finally, I heard that there is a village four versts away. I went there to look for a place. And, to my delight, God showed me a comfortable place. I took a job there for the whole summer, guarding the garden for a man, so that I could live alone in the yard. Thank God! I found a quiet place. And so I began to live and study, according to the way the Elder had shown me, the inner prayer, and to go to the Elder.

            For a week I earnestly studied the way of continuous prayer alone in the garden, just as the Elder had shown me. At first, the work seemed to be going well. Then I felt a great burden, laziness, boredom, overpowering sleep, and various thoughts swirled around me like clouds. With sorrow, I went to the Elder and told him about my situation. He welcomed me tenderly, and began to say: dear brother, this is a battle against the dark world, which nothing is so frightening to us as heartfelt prayer, and therefore it tries in every way to obstruct you and distract you from the study of prayer. In fact, the enemy acts not otherwise than out of the will of God and by His providence, as much as it is necessary for us. It is evident that you still need a test of humility; and therefore it is still early to approach the higher entrance of the heart with excessive zeal, so as not to fall into spiritual selfishness.

Here I will read to you about this case of instruction from Dobrotolyubye. The elder found a sermon from Elder Nikifor, and began to read: “If, after working a little, you cannot enter the heart without the instructions being explained to you, then do what I am telling you and, with God’s help, find what you are looking for. You know that the power of the tongue consists in each person’s throat. If you want to, then let it be so – and let the words “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” be repeated non-stop. This is what the holy fathers are teaching in this case,” the elder said. Therefore, you must now obey the command to say the Lord’s Prayer as much as possible. Here is the order by which to recite three thousand prayers for the first time each day. Whether you stand, sit, walk, or lie down, say non-stop: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” – not loudly and not hastily; and do not miscount by accident, and always correctly perform three thousand prayers a day. God will help you to accomplish continuous heartwork through this.On the tenth day, without seeing me, the old man came to visit me on his own; I explained my situation to him. He listened and said: “Now that you are used to praying, observe, persevere, and strengthen this habit. Do not waste time in turning one way or another, and with God’s help, resolve to do not in vain twelve thousand prayers a day; abide in solitude, rise early, and go to bed late, and come to me every two weeks for counsel.”

            Then I went to see the old man and told him everything in detail. He listened to me and began to say: praise be to God that the passion and the ease of prayer were revealed in you. This is a natural thing, coming from frequent practice and asceticism, like a machine that, given a push or a spark to its main wheel, runs for a long time on its own; and in order to keep it going, this wheel must be oiled and pushed. Do you see how wonderful abilities God has granted to even the sensual nature of man, which can be felt even without grace and in an uncleansed sensuality and in a sinful soul, as you yourself have experienced? And how wonderful, wonderful and enjoyable it is when the Lord graciously opens the gift of spontaneous spiritual prayer and cleanses the soul from passions! This state is not imagined, and the revelation of this prayerful mystery is a fore-taste of the sweetness of the heavenly earth. This will please those who seek the Lord in the simplicity of a loving heart! Now I allow you: make prayer as much as you want, as often as possible, devote yourself to prayer all the time, even without sleep, and call upon Our Lord Jesus Christ, humbly putting yourself at God’s mercy and awaiting help from Him: I believe that He will not leave you and will pave the way for you.”

            Having accepted this instruction, I spent the whole summer in constant silent prayer to Jesus, and I was very calm. In my dreams, I often dreamed that I was saying prayers. And on the days when I happened to meet someone, I imagined that all these people were as loving to me as relatives, even though I did not spend time with them. My thoughts completely ceased, and I thought of nothing but prayer, to which my mind began to incline, and my heart began to feel warmness and pleasure of its own. When I happened to come to church, the long boring service seemed short, and it was no longer tiring of the strength, as before. My secluded cell seemed to me a wonderful temple, and I did not know how to thank God for sending such a gracious old man and teacher to me, such an unrepentant sinner. 

The Death of the Elder and the Beginning of an Independent Journey

            But I did not stay in the instructions of my beloved and godly elder for long, in the end of summer he died. I, with tears, took leave of him, thanked him for his fatherly teaching of me, the unrepentant sinner, asked for his chotki after him for blessing, with which he always prayed. So I was left alone. At last, the summer was over, and the town was cleared. I had nowhere to live. The man paid me and gave me two rye loaves for a watchman, and he filled a bag with rye bread on the road, and I again set out to walk around in different places; but I no longer walked as before with need. The calling of the name of Jesus Christ cheered me on the road, and all the people became kinder to me, it seemed as if they all came to love me.

One day I began to think about what to do with the money I had received for saving the city and what I could do with it. E! be silent! The old man is no longer here, there is no one to teach me; I will buy myself Dobrotolubye, and I will learn internal prayer from it. I crossed myself and went away with a prayer. I reached a provincial town and began to ask for Dobrotolubye; I found one copy, but they were asking for three cents, and I only had two; I bargained, bargained, but the merchant did not give in at all; finally he said: “Go to this church, ask the church elder; he has an old book, maybe he will give it to you for two cents.” I went and indeed bought Dobrotolubye for two cents, all torn and old; I was delighted. I repaired it, covered it with a cloth and put it in my Bible’s bag.

            That’s how I walk now, constantly performing the Jesus prayer, which is dear to me and sweeter than anything in the world. I sometimes walk seventy and more versts a day, and I do not feel that I am walking; I only feel that I am saying the prayer. When a strong cold chills me, I begin to say the prayer with intensity, and I soon warm up. If hunger begins to overcome me, I often call the name of Jesus Christ and forget that I want to eat. When I get sick, there is a pain in my back and legs, I start listening to the prayer, and I do not feel any pain. When someone offends me, I only remember how I enjoy the Jesus prayer; immediately the offense and anger pass away and I forget everything. I have become something crazy, I have nothing to worry about, I do not look at anything frivolously, I am alone; but by habit, one thing wants to be done incessantly, to perform the prayer, and when I do it, I find it very fun. God knows what is happening to me. Of course, all this is sensual or, as the late elder said, natural and artificial due to habit; but I dare not yet proceed to studying and mastering spiritual prayer within the heart, with my unworthiness and stupidity. I await the time of God’s will, hoping on the prayers of my deceased elder. So, although I have not reached continuous spontaneous spiritual prayer in my heart, thank God, I now clearly understand the meaning of the expression I heard in the Apostle:
“Always pray.”

Tale second

Journey to Siberia and the story about the captain

For a long time I wandered from place to place, accompanied by the prayer of Jesus, which cheered and comforted me on all my journeys, at all meetings and in all kinds of circumstances. Finally, I felt that it would be better to stop somewhere, both for convenient solitude and for the study of The Book of Doxology, which I had partly read while staying for the night or taking a day off; but I had a strong desire to continually delve into it, and to draw from it a true instruction for the salvation of my soul through heart prayer. But since I could not find any work to take, according to my desire, because of the inactivity of my left hand from my early childhood, and because I was unable to find a permanent shelter, I went to the Siberian Lands, to the Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, with the intention that the forests and steppes of Siberia would be silent, and that it would be more convenient to engage in prayer and reading. So I went, and constantly offered up an inner prayer. Finally, after a short time I felt that prayer itself had begun to pass into my heart, that is, the heart, with its usual heartbeats, began as if to speak the words of prayer in itself for each beat, for example: “Lord”, “Jesus”, “Christ”, and so on. I stopped saying prayer with my mouth, and began to listen carefully, as the old Elder taught me, how pleasant it was. Then I began to feel a subtle pain in my heart, and in my thoughts such a love for Jesus Christ that it seemed as if I were to run to His feet, and not let them go, caressing them sweetly, to tears, but thanks to the fact that He gives such a consolation in His name, it is kind.

Then a certain beneficial warming began to appear in my heart, and this warmth was also spread throughout my chest. This drew me especially to a diligent reading of The Book of Doxology, in order to trust my feelings and to study further the practice of inner heart prayer; for without this confidence I was afraid of not falling into grace, or of accepting natural actions as graces, and of not being labelled as a rapid acquisition of prayer, as I heard from the deceased Elder. Therefore, I walked more at night, and spent the days mostly in reading the Doxology, sitting in the forest under the trees. Ah, how much new, how much wise and as yet unknown was revealed to me by reading! Engaging in it, I ate such a pleasure that I could not even imagine. Although some passages were incomprehensible when reading with my foolish mind, the consequences of heart prayer explained my misunderstanding; besides, I sometimes saw in a dream the deceased Elder of mine, who explained many things to me, and increasingly inclined my foolish soul to humility. For two summer months I enjoyed this so much. I travelled more through forests and roads: if I came to a village, I would ask for a bag of bread, a handful of salt, and a pail of water, and then I would set out for a hundred versts.

Due to my sins, bad nature, or spiritual need, or for the sake of better instruction and experience, the troubles began to appear at the end of the summer. Specifically, I came out on a great road, and at dusk two men who looked like soldiers’ heads caught up to me; they began to demand money. When I said that I had no penny, they did not believe me and shouted insolently, “You are lying! Wanderers collect a lot of money!” One of them said, “And what good is it to talk to him?”, and struck me on the head with a staff so that I fell unconscious. I don’t know how long I lay unconscious, but when I woke up, I saw that I was lying near the woods by the road, completely fainted, and my bag was gone; only the ropes that it was carried on were cut. Thank God that they did not take my passport, which was in my old hat, for the sake of prompt evidence, where they are required to. When I got up, I wept bitterly, not so much from the headache as for the fact that they had taken my books, the Bible, and the Good Life, which were in my bag. Neither day nor night did I cease to grieve and cry. Where is now my Bible, which I had read since childhood and always carried with me? Where is my Good Life, from which I drew instruction and comfort? I was deprived, unfortunate, of both the first and the last treasure of my life, without having had time to fully enjoy it. It would have been better for me to be killed than to live without this spiritual food! I can no longer buy them again!

Suddenly I noticed a convoy of wagons with prisoners driving along the road. When I compared my situation with theirs, I saw two people who had robbed me, and since they were walking from the edge, I fell at their feet and asked them emphatically to tell me where my books are? At first they paid no attention to me, and then one of them began to say: if you give us something, we will tell you where your books are. Give us the whole thing. I vowed to give them all I had, and even to go around the world for Christ’s sake; here, take my passport as a pledge. They said that my books were being transported in the convoy, along with other stolen goods they had seized. How can I get them? Ask the captain who is escorting us. I ran to the captain and explained everything in detail. By the way, he asked me if I could read the Bible. Yes, I can read it all, I replied, and also write: you will see that the Bible bears my name; and my passport also contains the same name and surname. The captain began to say: These are traitors, deserters from the army, they lived in a dugout and robbed many people. They were caught yesterday by a clever road repairman, whom they wanted to bribe with a trestle. Apparently, I will give you your books when they are here; but you should come with us for the night; it is not far, four versts away, and the stage and convoy will stop for you. I happily rode by the captain’s horse and talked to him. I saw that he was a good and honest man, and not a young one. He asked me who I was, where I was going, and where I was going. I answered everything truthfully – and we reached the stage barracks for the night. He found my books and gave them to me, and said: Where are you going at night? Stay here in my vestibule. I remained there.We sat down at the table, and the captain began to tell us: I have been in the army since my young years, not in the garrison; I knew the service and was liked by the commanders as an able officer. But years were young, friends too; I was in misery and got used to drinking, and in the end, so that an addiction to drink opened up; when I am not drinking, I am a capable officer, and when I smoke, I lie in bed for six weeks. They endured me for a long time, and finally, because of the harshness of my boss, who was made in this way, they drove me out of the army as a soldier for three years, with a transfer to the garrison; and if I do not improve and do not give up drinking, they threatened me with the most severe punishment. In this unhappy state, I tried all I could to abstain, and as much as I did, I could not give up my addiction, and that is why they wanted to move me to the guardrooms. Upon hearing this, I did not know what to do.After hearing this, I said to him: Where can I help your Gospel, when no efforts on my part, no medicinal prescriptions could keep me? I said this because I had never read the Gospels. Don’t say that, the monk objected, I assure you, it will be of benefit. The next day the monk brought me this Gospel. I opened it, looked at it, read it, and said: I won’t take it; there’s nothing to understand here; and I’m not used to reading the Church stamp. The monk continued to persuade me that there is a saving power in the words of the Gospel; for it says that it was God Himself who spoke. You don’t need to understand anything, but read carefully. A holy man once said: if you don’t understand the Words of God, the demons understand what you’re reading and tremble; for the sin of drunkenness is inevitably aroused in the demons. Well, I’ll tell you more: John the Golden-Mouthed writes that even the church where the Gospel is kept frightens the demons of sin, and is uncomfortable for their plots. I can’t remember, I gave something to that monk, took the Gospel from him, and put it in a chest with my other things, forgetting about it. After a while, it came time for me to ask for death, and I hurriedly opened the chest to get some money and run to the tavern. The first thing I saw was the Gospel, and I quickly remembered everything that the monk had told me, opened it and began to read the first chapter of Matthew. After reading it till the end, I understood nothing; and I remembered that the monk had said: you don’t need to understand anything, just read carefully. Let’s take another chapter, I thought; I read it, and it became more understandable. Let’s take the third one; as soon as I started it, there was a knock at the barracks: to the rooms for the beds. So I couldn’t leave the gate; so I stayed.Listen, since I was cured of my drunkenness, I have made a vow to read the Gospel every day, for a whole evangelist per day; despite all obstacles. This is what I continue to do now. If my work is very busy and I am very tired, I lie down in the evening and force my wife or son to read an entire evangelist to me, and thus I faithfully follow that rule. As a gratitude and in the glory of God, I had this Gospel engraved in pure silver, and I always wear it on my chest.

            As I walked for a mile, I remembered that I had promised the soldiers a cow, which I now unexpectedly possessed. Should I give it to them, or not? One thought told me: they beat me and robbed me, so I cannot give it to them for their own benefit, because they are in custody. Another thought told me differently: remember that the Bible says: “If your enemy is thirsty, give him water to drink.” I made sure, then I returned, and as I approached the barracks, they had removed all the wells to chase them to the next station; I ran quickly, grabbed the cow that had once been mine, and said: “Run and pray: Jesus Christ is Merciful, he will not leave you!” And with that, I walked away from them and walked in another direction on my way.

We walked 50 yards down the highway, and I decided to turn onto a side road to be more secluded and have a convenient place to read. I walked in the forest for a long time, occasionally passing through small villages. Sometimes I spent the whole day in the forest, diligently reading Dobrotoluyubie, and I gained much knowledge from it. My heart burned with desire to be united with God through inner prayer, which I wanted to learn, with the guidance and verification of Dobrotolubie; and along with this I mourned that I did not find a refuge where I could quietly engage in reading.

At the same time, I also read my Bible and felt that I was beginning to understand it more clearly, not as I once did, when many things seemed incomprehensible to me, and I often encountered surprises. The Holy Fathers rightly say that Dobrotolubie is the key to unlocking the mysteries in the Holy Scriptures. Under the guidance of this, I began to understand the hidden meaning of the Word of God; I began to see what an inner, secret heart a person is, what true prayer is, what worship is by spirit, what the kingdom is inside us, what an inexpressible longing of the Holy Spirit, what will be in me, what give me your heart, what means put on Christ, what means signing the Spirit in our hearts: Father and so on, and so on. As I began to pray with my heart, everything that surrounded me seemed to me in a wonderful way: trees, grass, birds, earth, air, light, everything seemed to tell me that there are things for man, that they witness God’s love for man and that everything prays and sings the glory of God. And I understood from this what is called “the guidance of the creatures’ words” in Dobrotolubie and saw a way in which one can converse with God’s creatures.

A meeting with a forester in a desolate forest

Many days I wandered like this. Finally I came to such a remote place that for three days no village appeared. My barley all ran out, and I was very upset to not die of hunger. When I began to pray with my heart, despair passed, and I completely relied on God’s will, so I became cheerful and calm. Walking some distance along the road that lay near a huge forest, I saw a yard dog that had come out of the forest; I called it and it, coming up, began to lick my feet. I cheered up and thought: here is God’s grace! – there must be a herd grazing in this forest, and, of course, there must be a shepherd or a hunter walking there for hunting; one way or another, I can at least beg some bread, because I have not eaten in two days, or I can ask where there is a settlement nearby. Turning around me, and seeing that I had nothing to take, the dog again ran back into the forest along the narrow path it had used to come out on the road. I followed it; after walking two hundred paces among the trees, I saw that the dog had gone into a hollow, from which it began to bark.”I was,” he said, “in my village not the last man; I had skill, painted varnish, and blued the paint, and I lived in plenty, though not without sin: I deceived many in trade, wasted my money carelessly; I cursed the coachman, got drunk, and fought. There was an old gentleman in our village who had an ancient, ancient book about the terrible judgment. He used to go to the Orthodox, and read it, and for this they gave him money; he came to me, too. Sometimes I would give him ten kopecks, and up to half a ruble. That is how I used to listen, sitting at my work, while he read us about the torments in hell, how the living will change, and the dead will rise again, how God will come to judge, how the angels will blow their trumpets, and what kind of fire, resin, and worms will eat the sinners. Once, when I listened to this, I became frightened; I thought, “My torments will not be avoided!” I vowed to save my soul, perhaps I would be spared my sins. I thought and thought, and then I gave up my occupation, sold my house, and being lonely, I went to the beggars to earn myself bread, clothes, and wax candles for confession.”

Listening to this, I regretted it for him, and thought to myself: they say that some learned and intelligent people are freethinkers who believe nothing, and, indeed, our brethren — simple, common people who plot to become disillusioned! It seems that the dark world has been allowed to have access to everyone, and it is easier for the simple to be attacked by it. To the fullest extent possible, we must struggle and strengthen ourselves against the enemy of the soul with the Word of God. Therefore, in order to help and support the faith of the brethren, I took the book Good Deeds from my bag, found a chapter of St. Ishiah, read it and began to explain to him that abstaining from sins, fearing torment, is fruitless and not fruitful, and it is impossible for souls to be freed from imaginary sins, nor to be protected from mental sins. Therefore, all this is obtained through inner prayer, and not only by fear of hellish torment, but even by the desire for the kingdom of heaven, if anyone begins to make saving deeds, then the holy fathers call this a mercenary deed. They say that fear of torment is a slave’s path, and desire for reward in the kingdom is a mercenary’s path. And God wants us to walk to Him on a son’s path, that is, to behave honestly out of love and diligence for Him, and to enjoy a saving union with Him in the heart and soul.

            No matter how much you try to strain yourself, – no matter how many bodily labors and deeds you want to do; but if you do not always have God in mind and continuous Jesus’ prayer in your heart, then you will never be at peace with your thoughts, and will always be prone to sin, even in the slightest cases. Accept, brother, to constantly perform Jesus’ prayer; after all, it is possible and convenient for you in this solitude; you will soon see the benefit. Impious thoughts will not come, your faith and love for Jesus Christ will be revealed to you; you will learn how the dead are resurrected, and the terrible judgment will seem to you as it really will be. And in your heart there will be such ease and joy from prayer that you will be surprised and no longer bored, nor tormented by your righteous life.

            Next, as I could, I explained to him how to begin and continue the unceasing Jesus prayer and how the Word of God commands it and teaches it us holy fathers. He, apparently, seemed to approve of this, and became calm. After this, I, separating from him, closed myself in the old cellar designated for me.

Practice of Jesus’ prayer alone

O my God! what joy, peace and delight I felt as soon as I entered this cave, or rather, the tomb; it seemed to me a wonderful royal palace, full of all kinds of pleasures and joys. With joyful tears I thanked God, and I thought: now, in such peace and quietness, I must take up my task and ask the Lord for enlightenment. So, I began, first of all, to read The Loving-Kindness, in the correct order, from the beginning to the end, with great attention. I read it in a short time, and saw how much wisdom, sanctity and depth it contained. But since it contains many different subjects, and various instructions of the Holy Fathers, I could not understand everything and synthesize everything that I wanted to know, especially about interior prayer, in order to learn the method of studying continuous automatic prayer in the heart. And this was what I really wanted, according to God’s command through the Apostle: Strive for the gifts that promote spiritual growth, and also: Do not quench the Spirit. My mind is not enough, and I have no one to explain it to. I will begin to trouble the Lord with prayer; perhaps the Lord will enlighten me somehow. After that, I did nothing for a whole day, except for constant prayer, without stopping for a moment; my thoughts became calmer, and I fell asleep: so I saw in a dream that I was in a cell of my deceased elder, and he was interpreting The Loving-Kindness, and he said: this holy book is full of great wisdom. It is a mysterious treasure of understanding the secret intentions of God. Not all places are accessible to everyone; but, in proportion to each thinker, it contains such instructions for the wise – wise ones, for the simple ones – simple ones. Therefore, for you, humble readers, you should read it in this order, not in the same order as the books of the Holy Fathers are arranged one after another. There, this order is theological; but for an uneducated person who wants to learn from The Loving-Kindness the art of interior prayer, he should read it in the following order:1) First of all, read the book of Nikhifor of the monastic life (in two parts); then 2) read St. Gregory Sinaitis’ book in full, except for the short chapters; 3) read Saint Symeon the New Theologian’s book on the three images of prayer and the discourse on faith; and, after that, 4) read St. Kallistos and St. Ignatius’ books. These fathers contain a complete teaching and doctrine on the inner prayer of the heart, understandable to everyone.First of all, I began to find the heart location, following the instructions of St. Symeon the New Theologian. Closing my eyes, I looked with my mind, that is, in my imagination in my heart, wanting to imagine what it is in the left half of my chest, and I listened carefully to its beating. Thus, I first engaged in this for half an hour, several times a day; at first, I did not notice anything except darkness; then soon the heart began to appear and mean movement in it; further, I began to enter and exit the Jesus prayer together with the breath into my heart, following the instructions of St. Gregory the Synechaton, Kalistos, and Ignatius, that is, taking in air, with a mental gaze into the heart, I imagined and said: “Lord Jesus Christ”; and with exhaling the air from myself, I said: “Have mercy.” At first, I engaged in this for an hour or two, and then the more often I did so, and finally I spent almost the whole day in this occupation. When heaviness or laziness or doubt seized me, I immediately began to read in The Good Shepherd the passages that instruct about the workings of the heart, and again I had fervor and diligence in prayer. In three weeks, I began to feel pain in my heart, then some pleasant warmth in it, comfort and peace. This excited and encouraged me more and more diligently to engage in prayer, so that all my thoughts were occupied with this, and I felt great joy. From that time on, I began to feel different moods in my heart and mind. Sometimes the heart seemed to be bubbling up with some kind of delight, there was such lightness, freedom and comfort in it, that I was completely transformed and thrilled. Sometimes I felt burning love for Jesus Christ and for all of God’s creation. Sometimes, tears of gratefulness to the Lord, who had been kind to me, a sinful and miserable sinner, flowed spontaneously. Sometimes my former foolish ideas were so fully realized that I easily understood and reflected on what I had previously not been able to even imagine. Sometimes, a sweet warmth of the heart spread throughout my being and I felt the presence of God everywhere. Sometimes I felt the greatest joy from the calling of the name of Jesus Christ, and I realized what He said meant: “The kingdom of God is within you.”Months went by, as I spent my time in this prayer session alone, and I enjoyed those sensations. I became so used to heartfelt prayer that I practiced it constantly, and finally felt that prayer was coming naturally, without any prompting from my side, and was being produced and spoken in my mind and heart, not in my mind. But even in my sleep it worked the same way and was not interrupted by anything—it never stopped, no matter what I was doing. My soul thanked God, and my heart was full of constant joy.

            It was time to cut down the forest, and people started to leave. I thanked the forest warden, prayed, kissed the piece of land that God had graced me with his grace, put my bag of books on my back, and left. I wandered around for a long time before reaching Irkutsk. The heartfelt, spontaneous prayer was a consolation all along the way, at every encounter. It never stopped giving me pleasure, albeit to different degrees, wherever I was, whatever I was doing, whatever I was engaged in. It never interfered with anything and never diminished in the least. If I was at work, my prayer went on naturally, and the work got done much faster; if I was listening carefully or reading, my prayer never stopped, and I found myself simultaneously experiencing both and feeling like a split person, or having two souls in one body. O my God, what a mysterious person!

       Let thy works be praised, O Lord: all thy wisdom have thou created. There were many miraculous events and situations in my life. If I were to tell them all, it would take a day. But here is an example: once I walked in the evening through a thicket to go and spend the night in a nearby village. Then a big wolf attacked and began to pounce on me. I had a few woollen clothespins in my hands. I hit the wolf with them. What happened? The clothespins slipped from my hands and, somehow, got caught behind the wolf’s neck, and the wolf ran away from me, leaped over a patch of nettles, got entangled behind by its hind legs, and caught itself in a dry tree trunk, and began to kick and struggle. It was very inconvenient for him to free himself, because the clothespins held his neck in place. I blessed myself and started to try to free the wolf. And the reason for that was my fear that if he broke the clothespins and ran away with them, what I considered my precious clothespins would go and be ruined. As soon as I moved in to take hold of the clothespins, the wolf did break them and ran away without a trace. So I thanked God and returned to the village safely; went to the inn and asked if I could stay; entered the house and found that there were two people sitting at the table in the front room, one of them a bearded old man, the other an abundantly fat middle-aged man who looked like not ordinary folk. I asked the man who was sitting next to their horse who they were. He told me that the bearded old man was a teacher at the village school, and the other one a clerk in the district court; both of them were noblemen. I was carrying them to the fair, 20 versti from here. After sitting for a while, I asked for a needle and thread from the woman serving us, came over toward the candle and began sewing the torn clothespins. The clerk looked at them and said, “It must have been for you to use your folded hands in prayer that your clothespins got damaged.” “It was a wolf,” I replied, “not I who damaged them.” The clerk laughed and said, “Oh, you say that miracles always happen among superstitious people! What nonsense! How can wolves pray and go to church? It is just a case of you throwing some things at them and a wolf getting scared and running away, and how is it possible for something to get caught somewhere in the forest? There are very few miracles in the world. It is normal to believe in everything.” When he heard this, the teacher started a discussion with him, “Dear fellow, believe me please, this is not possible! You lack further education, but you still make an attempt to teach us the short sacred story of the Old and New Testaments, which exists in question and answer form for schools. The old man whose clothespins I was carrying, was a saint. But what does saintliness mean? Nothing else but man’s recovery of his first innocent state through efforts and penance. When the soul is sanctified, the body is also sanctified. The clothespins were always in the hands of a holy man; therefore, through the touch of these holy man’s hands, and the germs on them, the holy power of the innocence of the first man, which was received through them, is present. This is the mystery of the spiritual nature! This power is unmistakably felt by all animals through their noses. The nose is the chief organ of the senses in animals. This is the mystery of the sensitive nature! As scientists, you possess all knowledge and powers, but we are quite different: all you need to do is pour a glass of vodka, and everything happens, said the clerk, and went into the closet. This is your affair, said the teacher, but you can oblige us with your knowledge. I liked the teacher’s remarks. Approaching him, I said, I dare to tell you more about my old man, and explained to him how he appeared to me in a vision, as he taught me and emphasized the Sacred Book of the Bereans. The teacher listened to this attentively. But the clerk, lying on the bench, groused, “People do get out of their minds when they read the Bible, and then get possessed by ghosts, and for that matter, a stray dog could scratch on a book for a man to read, and get it all dirty with soot, and this is how he sees a miracle at night? Oh, really! Here comes the end of that!” After he had been grumbling like that, the clerk went over to the wall and fell asleep. Hearing this, I turned to the teacher and said, “If you please, here is a book upon which the important points are correctly underlined and not crossed out with soot by a dog.” I took out the copy of The Book of Charity from my pocket and showed it to the teacher, saying, And I am surprised by the wisdom of this passage, how could a disembodied ghost pick up coals and write on a book so beautifully. The teacher looked at the note, and said, And this is the mystery of the spirits. I will explain this to you; he continues by saying, See, when the spirits are in the human body, they take the material things that are available in air and light into their bodies, and when they make their appearance, they return to the same material elements from which they got their bodies. Because air is elastic, capable of compressing and stretching, the spirit wearing it can take, act on, and write with it. What is this book you have? show me it in order that I may see it!

After going, I thanked God for the conversation with the teacher, and prayed to the scribe that the Lord would arrange, at least once, to read The Love of Goodness to him, and teach him to be saved.

A Meeting with a Godly Priest

But one spring, when I was visiting a village, I had to stay with a priest. He was a good and lonely man: I spent three days with him. After looking at me, he began to speak to me: “Stay with me, I will pay you a salary; I need an honest man; you have seen that we are building a new stone church instead of the old wooden one. I can’t find a trustworthy man who would watch over the workers and sit in the chapel to collect alms for the construction; I see that you would be capable of this, but you would also live well on this road. You would sit alone in the chapel and pray to God; there is also a room for a guard. Please stay with me, even if only for this time until the church is finished.” Although I refused at first, I agreed to this persuasive request of the priest. And so I stayed there for the summer until the autumn. That’s how I ended up living in the chapel. At first, I had peace and comfort in practicing prayer, even though many people came to the chapel, especially on festive days, some to pray, others to get a good rest, and others to take something from the collection plate. And as I sometimes read the Bible or The Love of Goodness, some of those who came noticed this and started a conversation with me, while others asked me to read something to them.

            After some time, I noticed that one peasant girl often came to the chapel and prayed to God for a long time. Listening to her murmuring, I found out that she was reciting some strange prayers, while others were totally distorted. I asked who taught her this. She said that her mother, who was a churchgoer, and her father was a schismatic dissident. For this reason, I sympathized, and advised her to recite the prayers correctly, in accordance with the transmission of the holy church, and began to explain to her: Our Father, and Hail Mary. And finally, I said: be sure to recite the Lord’s Prayer more often and more, for it is a more profitable prayer to God, and you will receive the salvation of your soul through it. The girl listened to my advice carefully and began to do so readily. And what happened? Shortly after, she declared to me that she had become accustomed to reciting the Lord’s Prayer, that she felt an urge to recite it continuously, if only it were possible, and that when she prayed, she felt pleasure, and after having finished, she also experienced joy and a desire to pray again. I was delighted with this, and I advised her to continue reciting the Lord’s Prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

            The summer was coming to an end; many of those who came to the chapel began to come to me, not only for reading and advice, but also with various life-sorrows, and even for the recognition of lost and missing things; apparently, others considered me a witch. Finally, the young girl in question came to me for advice, what to do? Her father planned to marry her by force to an unmarried man, and he would marry a peasant. What is this legitimate marriage – she exclaimed – it is unimportant! I want to run away, wherever my eyes look. I told her: where will you run? Sooner or later, they will find you again. Nowadays, you cannot hide without being recognized. Now, it is better to pray harder to God so that He can use His providences to thwart your father’s intentions and preserve your soul from sin and heresy. This will be safer than your escape.

            They were saints, the priest said. If the saints were careful not to be offended by human contact, what should the helpless sinner do? Finally, I said goodbye to this kind priest, and he led me on my way with love.

The story of the saved girl

            Ten steps later, I stopped to spend the night in a village. During that night’s stay, I saw an desperately ill man, and advised the former ones near him to presanctify him with the holy mysteries of Christ. They agreed, and before dawn they sent for a priest from the parish of their village. I stayed to wait to kneel before the holy gifts and to pray for this great sacrament. I went out into the street, sat on the porch, and waited to meet the priest. Suddenly unexpectedly, a girl came running to me from behind the house.

            How did you get here? I asked her.

            It was decided that I should be an undercover woman to denounce me as a vagrant, and I went. As I bowed to me, she began to say: “Please, have mercy, take me with you and take me to some nunnery. I don’t want to marry, I will live in a monastery to say the Lord’s Prayer. They will listen to you and accept me.”

            Have mercy, I said, where can I take you? I don’t know any women’s monasteries in this direction, and how can I go with you when you don’t have a passport? Since you won’t be accepted anywhere, and now you can’t hide anywhere, you’ll be arrested and sent away, and you’ll be punished for vagrancy. Go back home and pray to God, and if you don’t want to marry, then find some kind of disability. This is a desperate resort; this is how the Holy Mother Clement and the Reverend Marina behaved, who took refuge in a male monastery, and many others.

            While we were sitting and discussing, we saw four men riding a horse on the road, and they jumped up to us. They grabbed the girl, put her on a cart, and took her away with one man; and three of them tied my hands and drove me back to the village where I had lived the summer. To all my excuses, they merely shouted: “We’ll teach you, great man, how to deal with girls!” In the evening, they brought me to the village administration, put iron shackles on my legs, and locked me up until dawn, until the trial was over. The priest, who learned that I was in jail, came to visit me; he brought me dinner, comforted me, and said that the priest would stand up for me and say that I was not the kind of man they thought I was. After sitting with me, he left.

Later in the evening, a correspondent, passing through a village, stopped at the election office; and he was told about what had happened. He ordered a meeting to be called, and me to be brought to the judge’s house. We entered, stood and waited. Here came the correspondent, already in a much better mood, sat at the table in his uniform, and shouted: Hey, Epiphane! After all, did the girl, your daughter, do nothing to disgrace the house? Nothing, Father. With this stupid fellow, no bad deeds have been uncovered? No, Father! So, once we have judged the matter and decided it, you should settle things with your daughter yourself; and we will interrogate and torture this young man tomorrow, and will bind him so tightly that he will never show up here again. That’s all! Having said this, the correspondent got up from the table and went to bed; and me, again, were put in custody. Early in the morning, two men, a centurion and a decurion, came and took me away, and released me; and I went, thanking God that he had granted me to suffer for his name. This consoled me, and warmed me even more with the constant prayer of the heart.Then he began to say: Watch and pray, do not grieve! Remember what the Apostle said: greater is what is in you than in the world. Now you have learned firsthand that no temptation is left above the strength of man; but God deals with temptation and brings it quickly. Hope in this divine help strengthened and guided the zeal and devotion of the holy prayer-mongers, who not only spent their lives in ceaseless prayer themselves, but with love taught and opened it to others, as occasion and time allowed. Of this, Saint Gregory of Nyssa says: it is not only our duty, according to the commandment of God, to pray continuously, in the name of Christ, but we should also teach and reveal this to other monks, laymen, the wise and the simple, men, women and children, and urge everyone to exert themselves. This is also said by the Holy Callipus of Antalitchaidh: nothing in either intellectual activity about God (i.e. inner prayer), or contemplative knowledge, or methods of pushing oneself towards holiness, should be kept to one’s own understanding, but written down, shared and explained so that the common good is served. This is also what the Word of God says: we should help one another like brothers, for the city is strong and high.

            In order to spend this day in peace, without obstacles to spiritual joy, I asked the church guard if I could stay in the cell until the next day. All day long I was in an ineffable joy and heartfelt bliss; I lay on the benches in this unheated guardroom, as if resting on the lap of Abraham: prayer worked powerfully. My love for Jesus Christ and the Blessed Mother, like sweet waves, swelled in my heart and plunged my soul into delightful thrill. By nightfall I suddenly felt a strong numbness in my legs and remembered that they were wet. Ignoring this, I began to listen more intently to my heart with prayer and did not feel any pain. In the morning, I wanted to get up, but I saw that I could not move my legs; they had completely relaxed, like parched batons; the guard barely lifted me from the benches. So I lay motionless there for two days. On the third day, the guard began to drive me out of the cell, saying: if you die here, then go with you. As soon as I half-crawled out, I lay down on the church porch.

            I lay here for two more days. People who walked past me paid little attention to me or my pleas.

            Finally, a peasant came to me and sat down and started talking. By the way, he said: What will you give me? I can cure you. That was how it was with me; I know about this medicine. You have nothing to give me. In my bag there are only crumbs and books. Well, can you give me at least one summer, if I cure you? And I can’t work; you see that I only have one hand, and the other is almost dry. So what can you do? Nothing, except that I can read and write. And write! Well, teach the boy, my son, he doesn’t know much about reading, but I want him to write. But the masters ask a high price, 20 rubles for schooling. I agreed, and they dragged me and put me in this man’s house on the back yard in an old empty latrine.

After I had recovered like this, I began to teach the boy, I wrote for him the Lord’s Prayer instead of the propers, I taught him to copy, showing him how to write neatly. It was easy for me to teach him, because he served the landlord during the day and came to me only when the landlord was asleep, that is, from dawn to late lunch. The boy was bright and soon began to write something. The landlord from Poland came to see me and found me reading The Holiness of Love. After talking to me, he asked: What are you reading? I showed him the book. – Oh, it’s The Holiness of Love, he said. I had seen this book in our parish priest when I was living in Vilna; however, I had heard that it contains some strange magic tricks and techniques for prayer, written by Greek monks, similar to the way in which fanatics in India and Bukhara sit and breathe in an attempt to excite their hearts, and they worship this natural feeling like madmen. We should pray simply to fulfill our duty before God; we should stand up and read the Lord’s Prayer as Christ taught us; that is enough for the whole day, and it makes sense, not to constantly repeat the same thing; otherwise, you will go crazy and damage your heart.

Do not think, Father, that this is a holy book. It was not written by simple Greek monks, but by great and holy people whom your church venerates, such as Anthony the Great, Macarius the Great, Mark the Wanderer, John Chrysostom, and others. And the Indian and Bukharian monks inherited from them the heartfelt way of interior prayer, but they somehow distorted and distorted it, as my grandfather told me. And in Dogbolubiye, all the instructions about the spiritual effect of prayer are drawn from the Word of God, from the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ, who commanded to read: Our Father, also commanded uninterrupted heartfelt prayer, saying: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind. Watch and pray; be in Me and I in you.” And the holy fathers, citing the testimony of King David from the Psalter: “Taste and see how good the Lord is,” interpret it so that a Christian must seek and attain the sweetness of prayer by all means and constantly seek comfort in it, rather than simply reciting “Our Father” once a day. I will read to you how these saints condemn those who do not strive to learn and attain the sweetness of heartfelt prayer. They write that such people sin in that: 1) they make a contradictory interpretation of the Sacred Writings, 2) they do not assume the highest and most perfect state of the soul, but are content with only external virtues, and with this hunger and thirst for truth, they cannot have joy and happiness in the Lord’s virtues, and often fall into grievous pride and thus are distracted. This is something lofty to read, said the Guardian. What need do we have to strive for this in ordinary life? I will read to you something simpler, namely, how good people were taught about continuous prayer in ordinary life. I found a passage by Simeon the New Theologian about the young George and began to read it. The Guardian liked this and said to me, “Give me this book to read in my free time, after I have considered it.” Perhaps I will give you a day, and no more, for I read it every day, and I cannot be without it. But at least copy for me what you have just read; I will pay you. I need not your money, and I will gladly copy it in order that God may grant you diligence in prayer. I immediately copied what I had read. The Guardian read it to his wife, and they both liked it. Sometimes they began to send for me. I used to go to them with Dogbolubiye; I read there, and they sat with us over tea and listened. Once they invited me to dinner. The Guardian’s wife, a gentle, old lady, sat with us and ate roasted fish. Once, by negligence, she swallowed a bone; no matter what the nurses did, they could not free her, she felt a sharp pain in her throat and lay down for two hours. They sent for a doctor three miles away, and I, in concern, went home, late in the evening.

            Overnight, in a thin snow, I heard the voice of my elder, but saw no one; the voice said to me: here your master has healed you, and you, why do you not help the steward? God has commanded us to have compassion on our neighbor. With pleasure, I would help her in whatever way I could. I do not know of any means. And here is what you should do: she has had a grudge against tree oil since the very beginning of her life, and not only does she not tolerate the smell of it, but she cannot bear even the sight of it; therefore give her a spoonful of tree oil to drink, her throat will lacerate, a bone will break out, and the wound in her throat, which was scraped by the bone, will be smeared with oil, and she will recover. But how will I give my oil to her when she hates it – will she not drink it? You have told the manager to hold her by the head, and suddenly, even if it is against her will, pour it into her mouth. I woke up immediately and went to the manager and told him about it in detail. He said that now he would do your oil. Now she wheezes and sleeps, and her throat is swollen. But we will probably try it; oil is harmless, even if it does not do any good. He poured some tree oil into a glass, and we let her swallow a little. There was a strong vomiting, and soon the bone broke out with blood; it became easier for her, and she fell deeply asleep.

            In the morning, I came to visit her and found her sitting peacefully with her husband over tea, and, moreover, as I was told in a dream, that she does not like tree oil, because no one, except them both, knew that. Here came the doctor, the steward told him what had happened to her, and I told him. The doctor, having heard this, said: neither this nor the other case is strange; in both of them, the power of nature acted, but for memory, I will write it down; he took out a pencil and wrote it down in a memory notebook.

            Shortly thereafter, a rumor spread throughout the neighborhood that I was both the seer and the doctor and the healer; from all sides, people continuously began to come to me with their various cases and problems, bringing me gifts and began to honor me and beg me. After a week I looked at it and, for fear of falling into vanity and harming because of dispersion, I secretly left that place at night.

            So I went back to my separate path, and felt such ease as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders. Prayer comforted me more and more, so that sometimes my heart boiled with boundless love for Jesus Christ, and from this sweet boiling, as if consolatory jets were streaming through all my joints. The memory of Jesus Christ was so printed on my mind that as I pondered the Gospel events, it was as if I saw them before my eyes, I was moved to tears, and sometimes I felt joy in my heart that I cannot put into words. It happened that sometimes I spent three days without entering any human settlements and felt a sensation of loneliness, as if I were the only one on earth, one miserable sinner before a gracious and compassionate God. This loneliness comforted me, and the joy of prayer was all the more intense than in people.

            At last I reached Irkutsk. After bowing before the relics of St. Innocent, I began to think to myself: where should I go now? I did not want to stay in this city for long, because it was so crowded. I wandered the streets pensively; and there, entering a house, I met a merchant who had come from there. He invited me to come to his house with him. He asked who I was, and I told him my origin. Hearing this, he began to tell me: “Why don’t you travel to old Jerusalem? There is a shrine so unique that there is none like it anywhere.” “I would be happy to do so,” I replied, “but I have no dry money to go there by; I can walk to the sea, but I have no means to pay for crossing the sea, and for that I need a lot of money.” “Do you mind,” said the merchant, “I will provide you with a means. There’s a man from our town, an old man, whom I sent there last year. I fell at his feet and began to tell him: “Listen, I will give you a letter to my dear son back in Odessa. He lives there and has trading relations with Constantinople; he has ships, and he will be happy to take you to Constantinople, and there he will instruct his agents to hire you a place on the ship to Jerusalem and pay you the money. It doesn’t cost much, after all. Hearing this, I rejoiced, thanked this benefactor of mine for his kindness, and thanked God even more for his paternal love for me, the wretched sinner who does no good for himself or others, who turns water into wine.

            And so I spent three days with this benefactor. He wrote me on his promise a letter to his son about me in the hopes that he would send me to Jerusalem. So I am going now to Odessa with the intention of reaching the holy city of Jerusalem: but I do not know whether the Lord will allow me to prostrate myself at His life-giving Throne.

            But a day later, thanks to God, I got into my boat; I was rowed away from the shores, and the boat carried me to the city. I drew my map, and as soon as I saw the high walls of the city, I was filled with joy and bliss. And so I stood before the walls above in their groves, where I saw monks sitting; I went to him and said: “Sister, I am your worshipper. Pray that the Lord bring me into this city.” The nun glorified the Lord in a low voice, and the boat brought me to the gate; then a company of men came to me, and I was taken to the gate. I saw in the gate a certain abbess, and I stood before her and told her about myself, and she instructed me to go to the city above, near the king’s palace. The gatekeepers raised the gate on my behalf, and from there I went straight to the king’s palace; I got carried up to the upper rooms, and there I met the queen. She received me with respect and requested me to tell her everything: and when I told her about myself, she asked me to go to her own apartments and wait there for her on her way to the temple from the queen’s temple, and she handed me a letter and a book to the queen. And so I went into the familiar palace apartments, but the queen did not come that day. On the next day, when she was at the door, she gave a signal for me to go to another apartment, where she herself came to me: but with such a delight that I was struck dumb with amazement, and with so much fear that I could not utter a word. There in the upper apartments I did everything without a quiver. But at night the queen sent me to prayer, and I remained there for five or six days praying all the time with joy and delight.

            Before leaving Irkutsk, I went to see the spiritual father with whom I had been conversing, and said to him: “Here I am, on my way to Jerusalem; I wanted to come and say goodbye and thank him for his Christian love for me, an unworthy traveler.” He said to me: “May God bless your journey. But what did you not tell me about yourself, who you are and where you come from? I have listened to a lot of stories about your travels from you; it would be interesting to learn about your descent and your life before you became a wanderer.” “Well,” I said, “I will be happy to tell you this too. It is not a long story.”

A biography of the pilgrim and his former secular life

            I was born in a village in the Orlov region. My father and mother were left with two of us, my older brother and me. He was ten years old and I was two years old – the third. And then my grandfather took us to live with him; he was an old landowner and honest person, who kept a racketeer’s inn on a major road, and many travelers stayed with him because of his kindness. We began to live with him; my brother was lively and ran around the village constantly, and I was more at home around my grandfather. On holidays we went to church with him, and at home he often read the Bible, the same one that I have with me. My brother grew up and spoiled himself – he got used to drinking. I was already seven years old; one day I was lying with my brother on the stove, and he pushed me off and injured my left hand. From then on, I have not used it, it has completely dried up.

     When I saw that I would not be able to do the farm work, my grandfather began to teach me to read, and as we had no letters, he taught me to read from the Bible, somehow: by pointing out the letters, he would make me spell out the words and notice the letters. And I still do not understand how, after following him, I learned to read over time. And finally, when my grandfather began to see poorly, he often forced me to read from the Bible, while he listened and corrected me. We often had a church scribe who could write beautifully, I watched him, and I liked the way he wrote. That is how I learned to write. My grandfather was very pleased with this, and he advised me as follows: now God has opened the gate of knowledge to you, you will be a man, and therefore thank the Lord for it and pray more often. So we went to church for all the services, and we prayed often at home; they made me read: “Have mercy on me, God,” and my grandfather and my grandmother would bow or kneel. Finally, I was seventeen years old, and my grandmother died. My grandfather began to tell me: now we have no mistress in the house, and how can we do without a grandmother? Your older brother has gotten into trouble, and I want to marry you off. I regretted my disability, but my grandfather insisted, and I got married. They chose a proper and good woman for me, twenty years old. A year passed, and my grandfather became ill at death. He called me, and in his farewell he said: “Here is the house and the entire inheritance, live honestly, do not deceive anyone, and most of all pray to God. Do not count on anything except God, go to church, read the Bible, and remember us with the old woman. Here you have a thousand rubles, keep them, do not spend them in vain, but do not hoard them, give to the poor and to God’s churches.”

There was not much left of us, we were miserable and forced to take in debt a small house, and we began to live like savages. My wife was an embroiderer: she wove, spun, sewed, took work from people, and she worked day and night, and fed me. With my maimed hands, I could not even weave garlands. She would be weaving, and I would sit by her, reading the Bible, and she would listen, and sometimes she would cry. When I asked: What are you crying about? Thank God, we are alive. Then she would answer: It is touching to me that the Bible is so beautifully written. We also remembered the grandfathers’ command – we often fasted, we read the akathist of the Mother of God in the morning, and in the evening we would kneel a thousand times, so as not to be tempted. So we lived peacefully for two years. But what is strange is that even though we had no idea of the inner prayer that takes place in the heart, and we had never heard of it, we prayed only in words, and it was useless to kneel like fools, and although there was an eagerness to pray, and a long, meaningless prayer did not seem difficult. Perhaps a teacher told me the truth that there is a secret prayer inside a person, which he himself does not know, how it comes about by itself in the soul, and arouses one to pray, whoever knows how and how much.

   2 slyly. After two years of this kind of life, suddenly my wife fell seriously ill with a high fever and, having received Holy Communion, died on the ninth day. I was left alone, I could do nothing; I had to wander the world, and it was a shame to beg for alms; moreover, the grief for my wife was so deep that I did not know where to go. As soon as I entered my hut, and saw her clothes, or some scarf, I would burst into tears and fall down, completely bewildered. So I could not stand the hardship of living at home any longer, and I sold my hut for 20 rubles, and gave all my clothes and my wife to the beggars. They gave me a life-long exemption passport for the amount I had, and I immediately took my beloved Bible with me, and went wherever the eyes looked. When I decided to do so, I felt lighter, and I immediately reached Kiev with joy. Since then, it has been 13 years, I have been constantly travelling around various places; I have visited many churches and monasteries, and now I am more and more wandering through the steppes and fields. I do not know whether the Lord will be pleased to reach holy Jerusalem. There may be a time when He will graciously bury even the bones of sinners.

   How old are you from birth? – Thirty-three years.

   The age of Christ!

The fourth story

   To me in prayer it is good and deliverance from God is my hope.

      A fair Russian saying goes: people expect, but God has a different plan, I said, and I had already come to the house of my spiritual father. I had thought that today I would go on the road to the Holy Land of Jerusalem, but it turned out otherwise; an unexpected situation left me there for three more days. And I could not refuse to come to you to report this and seek advice on a decision I had to make in this unexpected situation.

Here are some of the random events that occur in the course of life! And everything in God and His holy providence governs our deeds and intentions, as it is written: And what we want and what are the children of God. After hearing this, my spiritual father said: I am delighted, dear brother, that the Lord has already unexpectedly arranged for me to see you in a short time. And since you are now free, I will keep you with love for longer, and you will tell me more about your instructive encounters that have occurred on your long journey. I have listened to all your previous stories with pleasure and attention. I am happy to do this, I answered, and began to speak.

There was a lot of good and bad; it is difficult to recount everything, but much has already happened and is out of memory, because I tried to keep only in my memory what motivated and aroused my lazy soul to prayer, and I rarely remembered everything else, or rather I tried to forget the past, following the example of St. Apostle Paul, who said: I strive to honor the highest office, forgetting the past, looking forward. The late blessed elder also said that disturbances to heart prayer come from two sides, from noise and fantasies, that is, if the enemy does not manage to distract from prayer by mundane thoughts and sinful intentions, then he restores instructive memories in the memory or imposes prayers, which are unbearable for the soul. And this is called a clear theft, in which the soul, having abandoned the conversation with God, turns to a satisfying conversation with itself or with animals. And that is why he taught me to not take even the most beautiful spiritual thought during prayer, and after the day, if it happens to see that more time has been spent on instructive reflection and conversation than on essential prayerless prayer of the heart, then this should be considered an excess or a greed for the necessary, for spiritual greed in prayer. Preferring to spend more time on evangelical reflection and conversation than on true, prayerless prayer of the heart, I considered it unmeasured, or materialistic, for the needy, for spiritual greed.

Meeting with a pious family of a landowner

While wandering through my Tobolsk province, I had to pass through a little town. I had very little bread left, so I went into a house to ask for bread for the journey. The owner said to me: “Thank God, you have come at the right time. My wife has just taken the bread out of the oven; here is a warm mat for you; pray to God for us.” I thanked them, began to put the bread in my bag, and the mistress, seeing this, said: “What a thin bag, all worn out! I will change it for you, and she gave me a good, firm bag. Heartily thanking them, I went on. At the gate, in a small grocery store, I asked for some salt, and the shopkeeper put some into a small bag for me. I thanked God with my soul, that He shows me such kind people. Now, I thought, I will have no worries about food for a week; I will be satisfied and sleep well. Blessed be my Lord’s soul!

            But then I stood up and said: Please excuse me, mother, it’s time for me to go. May the Lord Jesus Christ be with you and your beloved children. Ah, no! God forbid, I must not leave. Here it is the end of the day and my husband will be arriving from the city, where he serves as a judge in the district court. How happy he will be to see you! He regards every traveler as an envoy from God. And if you go, he will be very upset not to see you: besides, tomorrow is Sunday, you will pray with us at lunchtime, and you will share what God has sent; we always have guests here of thirty brothers. But you didn’t say anything about yourself, where you came from and where you’re going. Talk to me, I love to listen to spiritual conversations with pious people. Children, children! take the traveler’s bag and take it to the picture room, where he will sleep. Listening to these words of her, I was astonished, and thought: am I talking to a person or am I seeing a ghost?
So I waited for Mr. Ivanov. I told him briefly about my journey and that I was going to Irkutsk. By the way, said Mrs. Ivanov, you will definitely go through Tobolsk, and there my mother lives as a nun in a women’s monastery, and now she is a penitent; we will give you a letter, and she will take you in. Many people come to her for spiritual advice; moreover, here too, take a book by St. John the Divine that we have copied for her from Moscow, on her orders. As soon as everything is settled! Finally, dinner time came, and we sat down at the table. Four more ladies came and began to eat with us. After finishing the first course, one of the silly ladies got up, bowed to the icon, then bowed to us, went away and brought a second course, and sat down again; then another lady did the same with the third course. Seeing this, I began to say to the hostess: I dare to ask you, mother, whether these ladies are related to you, or what? Yes, they are my sisters: this is the cook, this is the groom’s sister, this is the key-holder, and this is my maid, and they are all married; I have no girl in the whole house. Hearing and seeing this, I was even more astonished, thanked God that He had shown me such pious people, and I felt a strong effect of prayer in my heart; therefore, in order to be able to withdraw quickly and not interfere with prayer, I got up from the table and said to the hostess: you need to rest after lunch, and I, as usual, will take a walk in the garden. No, I don’t rest, said Mrs. Ivanov; and I will go with you into the garden, and you will tell me something instructive. If you go alone, the children will not let you be for a moment; they love travellers, brothers of Christ and travellers.

After this account, I asked, “And where is that book by John the Theologian, which you wish to send to your mother?” Let us go to the room, and I will find it for you. As we sat down to read, the gentleman arrived. Seeing me, he embraced me affectionately; and we kissed each other brotherly and Christianly, led me into his room, and said, “Come, dear brother, let us bless my cell. I think you have grown tired of her.” She always welcomes a traveler or a traveleress, or someone who is sick; it is a habit in her family. We entered his bedroom. There were many books, beautiful icons, a life-giving cross as high as a man, and next to it the Gospel; I prayed, and said, “In your house, brother, there is a place of God’s happiness.” Here is the Lord Jesus Christ, His Blessed Mother, and His holy saints; these (pointing to the books) are their divine, living and inexhaustible words and instructions; I think you often enjoy the heavenly conversation with them. “Yes, I admit,” the gentleman replied, “I am a thinker who reads.” “What kind of books do you have here?” I asked. “I have a lot of spiritual books,” he replied; “here is a whole range of monthly and weekly readings, the works of John Chrysostom, Basil the Great, many theological and philosophical works, as well as many sermons by famous new preachers. My library costs me thirteen thousand rubles.”There is no book about prayer, I asked. I love to read about prayer. There is a new book on prayer, written by a priest from Petersburg. The gentleman gave an interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Our Father,’ and we began to read it with pleasure. A little later a lady came to us, brought tea, and the children brought a whole Christmas bun, made of silver with dry fruit, which I had never eaten. The gentleman took the book from me, gave it to the lady, and said: ‘Now we will make her read it; she reads very well, and we will treat ourselves to it together.’ The lady began to read, and we began to listen. While listening to the reading, I listened to the prayer being said inside my heart; the more she read, the more the prayer developed, and it pleased me. Suddenly I saw someone pass quickly before my eyes in the air, as if it were my late old father. I jumped up, but to hide it, I said, ‘Excuse me, I was half-asleep.’ Then I felt as if my dead old father’s spirit had penetrated my soul or had lit it up. I felt a kind of light in my mind and many thoughts about prayer. As soon as I’d made the sign of the Cross and tried to banish these thoughts, the lady had read the whole book, and the gentleman asked me: “Do you like this work?”, and we began to talk. “I like it very much,” I answered, “but the Lord’s Prayer ‘Our Father’ is more precious and valuable than all the prayers that we Christians have; for it is presented by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and this interpretation written by this very good gentleman is mostly directed toward the activities of Christians, whereas I have read in the holy Fathers an intellectual, mysterious explanation of it.”In which book did you read this? Well, for example, in the Confessions of Maximus the Confessor, and in the Good Shepherd by Peter Damascene. Please, can you remember what it was, tell us! Please. The beginning of the prayer: “Our Father who is in heaven …” in the book read, it is explained that under these words we should understand instilling brotherly love for our neighbors, like children of the same father. This is very fair, but in the Holy Fathers it is further and more spiritually explained, namely they say that in this expression we should raise our minds to heaven, to the heavenly Father, and remember our obligation to offer ourselves in God’s presence and walk before God. The words: “Let your name be sanctified,” the book explains meticulously, so as not to pronounce the Divine Name without reverence, or in an unjust oath, in other words, to pronounce the holy name of God holy and not to use it in vain; and the mysterious interpreters see here a direct request for inner heart prayer, that is, for the holiest name of God to be written on the inside of the heart and to be sanctified and purified by self-prayer, all the feelings and spiritual powers of the soul. The words: “Let your kingdom come” are explained by the mysterious interpreters in this way: let the inner world, peace and spiritual joy come into our hearts. In the book it is explained that by the words “Our daily bread” one should understand the request for the necessary needs of bodily life, not the superfluous, but only the necessary ones and help to the needy in abundance. And Maximus the Confessor, under the name of daily bread, understands nourishing the soul with heavenly bread, that is, the word of God, and uniting the soul with God by God-knowing and unceasing inner prayer of the heart.”Oh, this great task is almost impossible for the inhabitants of the world to achieve inner prayer,” exclaimed the gentleman. “Even if God helps with the external part, it is not done without effort. Do not think so, Father. If it were impossible and extremely difficult, God would not have commanded it to everyone. His power is also in weakness, and experienced holy fathers recommend ways that facilitate the path to heart prayer. Of course, for hermits of the world they indicate special and higher means, but for lay people they also prescribe convenient and guiding means to achieve inner prayer.” Nowhere have I ever read a detailed description of this, said the gentleman. “Please, please, I will read to you from the book Dobrotolubye. I brought my Dobrotolyubye, found Peter Damaskin’s article in part 3 on page 48 and began to read the following: “You must learn to call out the name of God more than you gasp for breath, at every time and place and task. The apostle says: “Pray incessantly,” that is, he teaches you to have to have in mind the Creator of things, and this will make your soul always rejoice.” Here, please, see how this method for continuous prayer is convenient, easy and accessible to anyone who has even the slightest human feelings.After the priests had finished, the three of us were left in the room. Here Miss brought me a white shirt and pantyhose, and I bowed at her feet, saying, ‘I will not wear my mother’s pantyhose; we have always been used to walking in stockings. She ran back and brought her old jacket, a thin yellow cloth, and cut it in two, and the master said, “Look how poor he is, and his pantyhose are almost worn out.” He brought me new shoes, large ones, which he put on over the boots, and then he said to me, “Go to the other room.” I went, changed, and came back to them. They sat me down on a chair, and started to put on my shoes. The master began to wrap my legs in stockings, and the masteress began to put on the shoes. At first I wouldn’t do it, but they told me to sit still and said, “Sit still and be silent, Christ washed the feet of his disciples.” I had nothing to do, and I started to cry, and they started to cry too.

   Forgive me, dear brother, I asked you not out of mere curiosity, but out of kindness and Christian understanding of you, and also because two years ago, I saw an example which gave rise to my question to you. Now, you see, a beggar came to us with a retired soldier’s passport, an old man, extremely poor, nearly naked and barefoot, speaking little and simply, as if he were a steppe peasant. We took him to our poorhouse; days later he became seriously ill, so we brought him here to the gazebo, comforted him, and began to visit him and care for him with my wife. Finally, he was almost at death’s door; we prepared him, calling our priest to confess him, anoint him, and administer the sacraments. The day before his death, he got up, asked me for a piece of paper and a pen, begged me to close the door and not to let anyone in until he had written a will for his son, whom he asked to be sent to St. Petersburg to an address. I was surprised to see how he wrote not only in a beautiful, highly educated handwriting, but also how his will was a wonderful, correct, and very tender document. Tomorrow I will read you his will; I have a copy of it.

   All this surprised me, and aroused my curiosity to ask him about his origin and life. He swore me to secrecy not to reveal this to anyone until his death, for God’s glory, and told me his life story. I was a prince who had a very wealthy estate and a lavish, opulent, and dissipated life. My wife had died, and I lived with my son, who was happily serving as a captain in the Guard. One day, while preparing to attend a ball given in honor of an important person, I was provoked by my valet. Afflicted with his gambling, I struck him violently on the head and ordered him to be banished to the country. This was in the evening, and the next morning the valet died of an inflammation of the brain. But this came of hands, and I, regretting my carelessness, soon forgot about it. Now, six weeks had passed, and that deceased valet began to appear to me, first in my sleep; he visited me at night, constantly repeating, “Unjust, you are my killer!” Then I began to see him in the daytime as well. The more time passed, the more often he appeared to me, and then almost constantly disturbed me. Finally, along with him, I began to see other dead men whom I had cruelly offended, and women whom I had seduced. They all constantly reproached me and did not let me rest until I could no longer sleep, eat, or do anything; I was completely exhausted and my skin had fallen to my bones. All the efforts of skilled doctors did not help at all. I went to be treated in foreign countries, but I was practically cured there for half a year, received no relief, and the horrific visions continued to multiply. They brought me back nearly dead; and I fully experienced the torments of hellish torment of the soul, first of all the separation of the soul from the body. Then I was convinced that there is hell and learned what it means.

Being in such a painful state, I realized my transgressions, repented, confessed, gave freedom to all the people around me who served me, vowed to torment myself with all kinds of hard labor for the rest of my life and to hide in a miserable figure, so that I, for my transgressions, would be the last servant of the lowest class of people. As soon as I made this decision with firmness, my visions that had been bothering me stopped immediately. I felt so much joy and pleasure from reconciliation with God that I cannot fully describe it. Here I also learned firsthand what heaven means and how the kingdom of God is revealed within our hearts. Soon I recovered, fulfilled my intentions, and secretly left for my hometown with a retired soldier’s passport. And now it has been 15 years since I wandered all over Siberia. Sometimes I had temporary work for peasants, sometimes I scrounged my way through life with the name of Christ. Oh, with all these tribulations, how much bliss, joy, and peace of conscience I enjoyed! Only one who has been transferred from a painful hell by the mercy of the Advocate can fully feel this. Having told this, he handed me his will to be sent to his son, and the next day he died. Here is the inventory of his will in my bag, now placed in my Bible. If you wish to read it, I will get it now. Please be kind.

In His Name, God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Who are in bliss and are exalted. Dear Son!

It has now been 15 years since you haven’t seen your father, but he is in obscurity himself, occasionally communicating with you, cradling your fatherly love to you, which compels me to send you these pre-death lines as a lesson in life.

You know how I suffered because of my carelessness and negligent lifestyle; but you do not know how I was blessed during my unknown wanderings, enjoying the fruits of repentance.

I am dying peacefully in the arms of my good and gracious God, for the works of mercy poured out on a father should touch the compassionate son. Give thanks to him with what you can.

Leaving you my fatherly blessing, I beg you to remember God, to keep your conscience, to be careful, kind, and prudent, to treat your dependents as kindly and lovingly as possible, and not to despise beggars and strangers, remembering that even the dying father is tormented by his poverty and misery of soul.

Calling down the grace of God upon you, I close my eyes in the hope of eternal life, with the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Your father.

So we lay down with the good man and talked. And I asked him: I think, Father, you are not without trouble and without worry with this unbeliever? After all, many of our fellow travellers go to bed at night, or wander about carelessly, and waste time on the road, as I have seen. There have not been many such cases, and more and more genuine travellers have been caught up in it, the gentleman replied. So we cherish and keep such idlers with us. They, having lived among our good beggars, the brothers of Christ, often correct themselves and become humble and gentle people. Here is a recent example. One of the local townsmen became so debauched that everyone rushed him out with sticks from their gates, and no one even gave him a piece of bread. He was poor, foul-mouthed and iniquitous, and he stole. In this state and hungry, he came to us; he begged for bread and wine, of which he was an extraordinary hunter. We welcomed him kindly, saying: stay with us, we will give you as much wine as you want, but only on the condition that you go to sleep immediately after drinking it, if you even barely rebel and get drunk, then we will not only throw you out, but I will also treat you as a fugitive or a groundkeeper. Having agreed to this, he stayed with us. For a week or more, he really drank a lot, as much as he wanted; but always according to his promise and in loyalty to the wine (so as not to lose it), he went to sleep or went out into the garden, lay there and was silent. When he came to his senses, the beggar brothers exhorted him and gave him advice to restrain himself, even if at first a little. So he gradually began to drink less and, after three months, became a meek man and is now somehow employed, and no longer eats the bread of strangers. Here, the third day, he came to me with a thank you. What wisdom, with the guidance of love, is done! I thought to myself and exclaimed: Blessed be God who shows his mercy in the fence of his fence!

After these conversations, my friend and I, having stayed for an hour or an hour and a half, heard a blessing until dawn, gathered and went in, and the lady had long been here, and she and her children were already there. We read the morning service; and shortly after that, the Divine Liturgy began. My friend and I, and a little boy stood at the altar, and the lady and her daughter in front of the altar window, to see the lifting of the Holy Gifts. My God, how they prayed fervently and shed tears of joy! They became radiant faces, so that I, looking at them, let my eyes flow joyfully.

After the Lord’s service, the priest, the servants, and all the beggars went to the dinner table together; there were up to forty beggars, and there were also the lame, the diseased, and boys. They all sat down to eat. What a silence and stillness! I, taking courage, said to the host: in the monasteries, biographies of saints are read during meals; why not you, and you have a family of four or five. The host turned to the hostess and said: indeed, Maria, let us establish such an order. It would be an insult. I will read at the first meal, then you, and then the priest, and later the brothers, in turn, whoever is able. The priest, while eating, began to say: I like to listen, but it is a humble servant who cannot find time to read. When you get home, you do not know how to get around all the worries and concerns; and there is something to do, and something else to do; there are lots of boys, and there is plenty of cattle, and all day long it’s a fuss and a bustle, nothing to do but to read or teach. After hearing this, I shuddered. The hostess was sitting beside me, and she grabbed my hand and began to say: Father says all this with humility; he always humiliates himself, and he is the kindest and most godly man. He has been a widow for twenty years and has raised a whole family of grandchildren, and besides, he often serves. These words came to mind in the following words of Mykyti Styfat in the Dedication of Charity: by the spirit of the soul, the nature of things is measured, that is, who one is, one judges others like that; and he goes on to say: “Who has attained true prayer and love, has no distinction between things; he does not distinguish between the righteous and the sinner, but loves all alike and does not condemn anyone, as God does; as the sun shines and rains on the righteous and the wicked.”

            I felt a prayerful hunger, there was a great need for prayerful outbursts, and solitude and silence were gone the next day. I felt in my heart as if there was a flood that wanted to break through and pour out into every member, but as I restrained it, I felt a strong pain in my heart – however, it was a comforting pain that required silent tranquility and filling with prayer. Here I discovered why true creators of prayer, who had a self-made experience of it, fled from people and hid themselves in anonymity, and I also understood why the Holy Elder Isaac calls even a spiritual and useful conversation intolerant, as St. Ephraim the Syrian says: “golden words are silver, and silence is pure gold.” Reflecting on all this, I went to the brotherly cell, where everyone was resting after lunch. I went up on the attic, relaxed, rested, and prayed. When the beggars got up, I found the blind man and led him out of the courtyard. We sat down alone and began to talk.

Conversation with a blind pilgrim and his path of prayer

            Tell me, for the sake of the soul, do you make the Lord’s prayer? I have been doing it continuously for a long time. What do you feel from it? Just that I can’t be without prayer, day or night. How did God reveal this occupation to you? Tell me, dear brother, in detail. Look, here I am, a worker, a tailor by profession, I have been traveling around other provinces, in villages, and have been sewing peasant clothes.

After reading this, I began to think that it was very convenient for me, and I began to make a silent prayer over my sewing, and I liked it. Those who lived with me in the house noticed this and began to laugh at me; are you a sorcerer who is constantly whispering or chanting? I stopped moving my lips to hide it and began to make a prayer in one language only. In the end, I got used to the prayer so much that the language itself, day and night, uttered it, and I liked it.I went out with the blind, and we went slowly, walking ten and fourteen versts a day, and spent the rest of the time in separate places, reading The Divine Love. I read to him about the prayer of the heart, according to the order that my late confessor had given me, that is, beginning with the book of the monk Nikita Grigory Sinaíta. He listened with such eagerness and attention, and was pleased with it and enjoyed it. Then he began to ask me questions about prayer that my mind could not even respond to. Having read what was needed from The Divine Love, he began to ask me diligently to show him, in practice, how to find the heart with the mind, and how to bring the divine Name of Jesus Christ into it, and how to pray with the heart, with joy. And I began to tell him: you see nothing with your eyes, and with your mind you can clearly imagine and imagine whatever you ever saw, such as a person or an object, or any part of yourself, such as your hand or foot, you can vividly imagine looking at it, and you can turn and focus, even if you are blind. I can, the blind man answered. So, imagine your heart, turn your eyes as if you were looking at it through your chest, and imagine it as quickly as you can, and listen attentively with your ears, as it beats and strikes once after another. When you have gotten used to this, start to associate every stroke of your heart with the words of prayer. Thus, with the first stroke, say or think “Lord,” with the second, “Jesus,” with the third, “Christ,” with the fourth, “have mercy,” and with the fifth, “on me,” and repeat this many times. It is convenient for you, because the beginning and preparation for the heart prayer are already there with you. When you get used to this, start to introduce and withdraw the entire Jesus Prayer into the heart along with the breathing, as the Fathers teach, that is, inhaling, say, “Lord Jesus Christ,” and exhaling, “have mercy on me!” Do this more often and more, and you will soon feel a subtle and pleasant pain in the heart, then there will be warmth and expansion there. Thus, with God’s help, you will achieve a self-directed and enjoyable inner prayer of the heart. At the same time, be very wary of imagination in the mind and of all kinds. Do not accept any imaginings; for the holy fathers firmly command, in inner prayer, to keep the eye blind, so as not to fall into vanity.The blind, having listened to all this with respect, began to follow the method faithfully, and at night, when we stopped to rest, he mostly did so for a long time. After a few days he began to feel a strong warmth and an indescribable joy in his heart, and he had an irresistible urge to continue praying that prayer, which opened his heart to the love of Jesus Christ. Sometimes he began to see light, though he did not see any objects or things in it; at other times, as he entered his heart, he saw as if a strong flame of a burning candle was burning sweetly inside, and when it shot out through his throat into the outside, it illuminated his heart; and he was able to see even distant things in this flame, as was the case one time. We were walking in the forest, and in silence he was absorbed in prayer. Suddenly he said to me: “How sad! The church is already on fire, and the bell tower has fallen down.” I told him: “Stop imagining the emptiness; this is a temptation, and you must reject all your dreams more quickly.” As you can see, people are watching the city, and we are still 12 verst away. He listened, continued praying, and remained silent. By evening we reached the city, and I actually saw several burned houses and a fallen bell tower built on wooden poles, and people gathering around and being amazed that the fallen tower hadn’t crushed anyone. In my opinion, all this misfortune happened at the same time that the blind man was telling me about it. He began to tell me: “You said that my vision was empty, and yet it is. How can I not thank and love the Lord Jesus Christ, who opens His grace to sinners, blind people, and the senseless?! I also thank you for teaching me to take action in my heart.”

            I told him: “Love Jesus Christ and give thanks; but beware of accepting visions as direct revelations of grace.”  Because this often takes place, and is a matter of course. The human soul is relatively free from place and matter. It can see in the dark, and very far away, as if it were happening near by. Only do we fail to give strength and freedom to this aptitude of the soul, and suppress it either through the bondage of our body, or through the confusion of our thoughts and scattered thoughts. When, however, we concentrate on ourselves, detach ourselves from everything around, and become refined in mind, then the soul enters into its proper function and acts to the fullest extent, since this is a matter of nature. I heard from the deceased old man that not even devout people are able to do so, but those who are able or suffer, in a dark room see light, as it emanates from all things, distinguish objects, feel their double, and penetrate the thoughts of another. And when, through heartfelt prayer, it comes directly from the grace of God, it is so pleasurable that no language can speak, and nothing material can apply, or be likened to it; all sensuous is low in comparison with the sweet sensations of grace in the heart. My blind servant paid close attention to this, and became even more humble. The prayer in his heart developed more and more, and he found more and more enjoyment. I rejoiced at this from the heart, and thanked God that he had permitted me to see such a blessed servant of his.

            Finally we arrived at Tobolsk, I brought him to the poorhouse, left him there, and, after a loving farewell, continued on my way.

For a month I walked slowly and deeply realized the teaching and encouraging value of good living examples; often I read The Love of God, and I believed all that I told the blind prayer-giver. His teaching example ignited jealousy, gratitude, and love for the Lord, prayer of the heart gave me such joy that I did not consider anyone to be happier on earth than me, and I marveled at how great and better happiness could be in the kingdom of heaven. Not only did I feel all this inside my soul, but even everything on the outside appeared to me in a splendid appearance, and everything drew me toward love and gratitude to God; people, trees, plants, animals, everything seemed to me like kin, I found the image of the name of Jesus Christ in everything. Sometimes I experienced such ease, as if I had no body, and was not walking, but was floating joyfully in the air; sometimes I went completely into myself and clearly saw all my innermost thoughts, marveling at the wise composition of the human body; sometimes I experienced such joy, as if I were made a king, and for all such joys I wanted God to give me the opportunity to die and pour forth his praises at the foot of the throne of His heavenly kingdom.

Trial on the road and the story of the old soldier

It appears that I was unusually enjoying these feelings, or perhaps it was the obedience of God’s will, but after a while I felt a trembling and fear in my heart. Wouldn’t some trouble or misfortune come upon me again, as with that girl I had taught the Jesus Prayer in the chapel? Thoughts came to me in a thick cloud, and I recalled the words of the Reverend John of Karpathos, who says that he who often teaches is exposed to disgrace and endures trials and temptations for those who have benefited from him spiritually. Overcoming these thoughts, I intensified the prayer by which I completely drove them away, and I was encouraged and said to myself: May the will of God be done! I am ready to endure anything that Jesus Christ will not send me for my wickedness and pride. And those whom I had recently opened the secret of the heart’s entrance and inner prayer were also prepared for our meeting by direct divine revelation. With this in mind, I again went out with joy and prayer and rejoiced in the past. The days were rainy, and the road was so dirty that I could hardly pull my feet out of the dirt, so I walked in the steppe, and I did not see any village for miles; finally, in the early evening, I saw one yard near the road, rejoiced, and thought, “Here I will ask to rest and spend the night, and tomorrow morning, if God wills: the weather may be better.”

I sat down, and thought that she would not calm down soon, and said to her: “Where should I sleep, mother? I am tired from the road.” Here is your bed, father, and, having placed a bench near the front window, I spread a mat and put my headrest under it. I lay down and closed my eyes, as if I were sleeping. The cook continued to jump around for a long time; finally, she got up, put out the fire, and came to me. Suddenly, the entire window, which was in the front corner, the frame, the shutters, and the pieces of the frame, burst into a rattling sound, falling with a terrible crash, the whole house shook, and a painful cry, scream, and moaning sounded outside the window. The old woman, frightened, jumped to the middle of the yard and fell to the floor. I jumped up without realizing it, thinking that the ground had opened under me. There I saw two pagers brought a man into the house, all bloody, so that his face was not visible. This scared me even more. It was the Feldman, who had come to change horses. The driver, not having turned properly at the gate, slammed the window, and since there was a ditch in front of the house, the cart overturned, and the Feldman, falling, deeply tore his head on the sharp wheel of the pulley that was attached to the battlement. The Feldman asked for water and wine to wash the wound, smeared it with wine, and drank a glass himself, and shouted: “Horses!” I stood by him, saying: “How do you feel, father, driving with such pain?” He was ill once, the Feldman answered, and went ahead. The old men carried the driver to the corner in the kiln, without feelings, and covered her with a blanket, saying: “This happened to her from fear; she will recover.” And the steward, having cheered up, went to bed again.

            Six years later, passing by a women’s monastery, I went to the church to pray. A strange abbess took me to herself after lunch and ordered tea to be served. Suddenly, unexpected guests arrived; she went out to them, and left me with the nuns, her sisters in chastity. The humble nun who was serving the tea aroused my curiosity to ask: “Have you been here in this monastery for a long time, mother?” “For eight years,” she replied, “I was brought here in a maddened state, and God has forgiven me here. The abbess left me in the cell and became a nun. What madness has happened to you?” I asked. “It was out of fear,” she answered. “I was hired at such a station, and at night, during my sleep, the horses broke the window, and I went mad with fright. For a whole year, my relatives took me around the holy places, and here I have only been healed.” Hearing this, I was overjoyed in spirit and praised God, honourable in all things for the benefit of the one who builds.

            There were many different incidents, turning to my father, I said. If I tell them in a chronological order, I would not be able to tell them all in three days. Is there another opportunity to tell?

Meeting with a village priest and a devout girl

            On a clear summer day, I saw a cemetery near the road, or what is called a cemetery, that is, a church, and some priestly houses. It was time for vespers; so I went there. Neighbours were also going there; others, not reaching the church, sat on the grass and, seeing me, who was hurrying, told me: “Do not hurry; wait until the service begins; they serve here for a very long time, the priest is sick, and such a fat man.” Indeed, the service lasted a very long time; the priest was young, but thin and pale, and he acted very slowly, yet he was very pious and with a sense of charity at the end of Vespers, he gave a wonderful, understandable sermon about the ways of acquiring love for God.

The priest called me to him and invited me to have lunch together. At the table, I said to him: How holy and long you have been serving! Yes, he replied, though it is not to the parishioners’ liking and they complain about it, but there is nothing to do; for I love every prayer more than anything else, to reflect on it and enjoy it, and only then pronounce it aloud, but without an inner feeling and compassion, every word uttered will be useless both for us and for others; the point is in our inner life and in our attentive prayer! But how little people engage in inner work! This is because they do not want to, and do not care about spiritual, inner education, said the priest. I asked him again: and how can we achieve this? It seems very difficult. In order to enlighten ourselves spiritually and be an attentive and inner person, we should take one text from Sacred Scripture, and keep all our attention and reflections on it for as long as possible, and the light of understanding will open up. The same thing should be done in prayer: if you want it to be pure, correct and delightful, you should choose a short prayer, consisting of small words, but strong, and repeat it many times and for a long time, and then you will feel the taste of prayer. I was very pleased with the priest’s teaching, which is practical and simple, but at the same time profound and wise! I thanked God mentally that He showed me such a true shepherd of His church.

            I was a young and beautiful girl; my parents arranged a marriage for me; in order to have a wedding tomorrow, the groom came to us, and suddenly, without taking ten steps, he fell down and died, never taking a breath! I was so afraid of this that I completely refused to get married and dared to live as a virgin and go to holy places to pray to God. But I was afraid to go on my own, in case my youth would be mocked by bad people. That’s how an old woman taught me, so that wherever I went, I would constantly recite the Jesus Prayer, and she firmly assured me that no misfortune could happen to me on the road with this prayer. I believed this and walked safely, even to distant holy places; my parents gave me money for this.

            In my old age, I became ill, and this priest from here has mercy on me and feeds me.

            Delighted to hear this, I could not know how to thank God for this day, which opened up such instructive examples to me. Then, after asking for the blessing of a good and devout priest, I went on my journey, rejoicing.

The Conversion Story of an Old Kazan Officer

            Not long ago, when I was walking through the Kazan province, I had to learn how the power of prayer to the name of Jesus Christ is clearly and joyfully opened up for those who, unknowingly, engage in it, and how the frequency and duration of prayer is the sure and shortest way to achieve good. I had to stay overnight in a Tatar village. I entered it and saw a carriage and a Russian groom at the window of one house; the horses were grazing by the cart. Excited by this, I began to ask for lodging at once, thinking that, at least, I would sleep with Christians. I approached the groom and asked who was traveling? He answered that the gentleman was traveling from Kazan to the Crimea. While we were talking with the groom, the gentleman, having opened the skin, looked out of the cart, looked at me, and said: I am staying here for the night, but I did not go into the house because the Tatars are very bad, and I dared to stay in the carriage for the night. Then the gentleman went out for a walk, it was a good evening, and we talked.

            Among many inquiries, he told me the following about himself: Until I was sixty-five years old, I served in the fleet as a captain of the first rank; on old age, an incurable disease struck me – gout, and after retiring, I lived on a farm of my wife in the Crimea, almost constantly sick. My wife was a capricious character, a great gambler. She was bored with living with me, the sick, and she left me, going to Kazan to our daughter, who was stationed there as a clerk in connection with the ceremony; she surrounded me with gossip, even took my house-people with her, and left me only an eight-year-old boy, my godson.

So I lived alone for about three years. The boy who served me had great talents and did all my housework, cleaned the room, stoked the stove, cooked my porridge, and brewed the samovar. But at the same time, he was an extremely lively and restless rascal, constantly running around, knocking, shouting, shouting, and making a lot of noise, and that bothered me very much; and I, because of my illness and boredom, always liked to read spiritual books. I had a wonderful book by Gregory Palamas on the Lord’s Prayer: I read it almost continuously, and I made the prayer little by little. My boy prevented me, and no threats or punishment could keep him from doing things. That’s when I invented this method: I started to put him in the room on the chairs, ordering him to constantly say the Lord’s Prayer. At first he didn’t like it very much, and he tried to avoid it in every way and often fell silent.

In order to force him to obey my command, I kept a razor by me. When he said the prayer, I calmly read the book or listened to him pronounce it; but as soon as he fell silent, I showed him the razor, and he, frightened, took up the prayer again; and this calmed me down very much, because there was silence in my household. After a while, I noticed that I no longer needed the razor, the boy began to do my command more willingly and diligently; then I saw a complete change in his lively nature, he became quiet and silent, and he did his household chores more successfully. This cheered me up, and I began to give him more freedom. In the end, what happened? He got so used to praying that he almost always said it without my forcing him. When I asked him about it, he replied that he felt an irresistible urge to say the prayer all the time. What do you feel while doing this? Nothing, I only feel good when I say the prayer. And how do you feel while doing it? I don’t know how to tell. Funny, or what? Yes, it’s fun.After this I began to say to the gentleman: What a beautiful book, master, the one by St. Gregory Palamas that you wanted to read, I know it well. But in it, more and more, there is discussion only of the sleepy Jesus prayer, and you should read a book called Dobrotolubye, in which you will find a complete and perfect science of how to attain the spiritual Jesus prayer in the mind and heart and taste its sweetest fruit. Meanwhile, I showed him my book “Dobrotolubye”. He, I noticed, accepted my advice with pleasure and promised to get hold of such a book.Having ended these accounts, I said to my spiritual father: “Forgive me, for God’s sake, I have already talked too much, and holy fathers call outspokenness, even if it is spiritual, by the name of ‘philosophia perennis.’ I must go to visit my companion in Jerusalem. Pray for me, poor sinner, that the Lord in His great mercy may direct my path to the good.”

Three keys to the inner treasury of prayer

Found in the spiritual treasures of the Fathers

       In my heart is stowed the word of God (Psalm 119:11).

       The mind tries to sift itself through every device to push angst upon itself (Cataphugion 19).

       If each person has his own peculiar characteristics, inclinations, and aptitudes, the attainment of the same end will be by different routes, in different ways, controlled by them. So the attainment of the goal of interior prayerful actions will also be by many roads, as we read in the reflections of the Holy Fathers.

            One of these ways is common to both successful prayer and successful Christian living, as it were:  unconditional obedience, as Simeon the Theologian says;  acts of charity and asceticism, as the Church sings in its hymns:  your deeds were found you, O God-inspired one, in the visions of the East (Tropareion of the divine mouth);  external prayer for inner prayer: Lord, teach us to pray;  special gracious influences, such as: Capso Càlivit once touched the icon of the Mother of God, after praying to her for two years, suddenly felt sweetness and warmth in her heart;  the young man George, in a simple prayer, suddenly saw an inner light and accepted an incessantly automatic prayer, etc.

            There are also other important ways to inner prayer that seem to belong directly to it. There are three of these, as found in the Holy Fathers.

            1) Part of invoking the name of Jesus Christ;

            2) Attention to this invocation; and

            3) Entrance into yourself, or, as the Church’s Fathers express it, the entrance of the mind into the heart.

            Since these methods primarily and conveniently open the kingdom of God within us and reveal the treasure of inner spiritual prayer in our heart, it is very proper to call them the keys to this mysterious ark.

First key: Invocation of the name of Jesus Christ

         If quantity leads to quality, then frequent, almost continuous invocation of the name of Jesus Christ, even if at first it is scattered, can lead to attention and warmth of the heart; since the human nature is capable of assimilating a familiar mood through frequent use and habit. To learn to do something well, one must do it much more often, said one spiritual writer; and St. Isaac says that frequency produces habit and appeals to nature (Ch. 7). This, as can be seen from the observations of experienced men, is the case with regard to interior prayer as follows: one who wishes to attain interior prayer resolves to invoke the Divine Hymn frequently, almost continuously, that is, to pronounce the Lord’s Prayer in words: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”; sometimes it is shortened, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.” St. Gregory of Sinai adds that the abbreviated invocation is more convenient for the beginner, but does not contradict either of these, advising only not to change the prayer verbs often to better get used to the invocation. And in order to further arouse oneself to the continuous production of prayer, the student considers himself bound to look at the time and to count a certain number of times to invoke, that is, to say a hundred or a thousand prayers with the beads in a day and at night, not in haste, but pronouncing them, straining the tongue and the mouth. After a while, the lips and the mouth of a skilled person acquire such a habit and, as self-motion, they already move of their own accord with the name of God, even without a voice. Next, the reason listens to this movement of the tongue and gradually becomes free from distraction and comes to attention to prayer. Finally, one can imitate the humility of the mind in the heart, as the Fathers express it, that is, the mind, having returned to the heart, warms it with the warmth of divine love, and the heart itself becomes, without compulsion, free, and with inexplicable joy, invokes the name of Jesus Christ and pours itself out with the following petition:, “My heart watches”). St. Isaac beautifully expressed the fruitfulness of frequent rational invocation of the name of Jesus Christ: “As the rain that falls on the earth multiplies, it also nourishes the earth; likewise, the name of Christ, invoked frequently from us, joyfully works and delights the earth of our heart, just as the earth of our heart is attended to by the name of Christ.”

       Although the manner proposed, based on the experiences and observations of the Holy Fathers, is sufficient to guide one to achieve the desired goal of interior prayer, there are still superior ways: attention and the introduction of the mind into the heart. The first of these methods is mainly for those who have not yet become accustomed to attention and are not yet able to work successfully on the heart, or it can be an initiation and supposition to the following methods. However, depending on the nature and abilities of each person, who chooses what is most convenient, he chooses accordingly, says Nicophorus the Hermit.

Second Key: The attention of the mind in the heart

Attention is the observance (keeping) of the mind, as St. Niphon the monk put it, or attention is the gathering of the mind to itself and the deepening of it into one subject, with all external thoughts and images excluded. As it is necessary when engaged in prayer, this is assured by Sts. John the Elder and Ignatius, quoting the words of St. Nilus, that attention which seeks prayer will necessarily draw it to itself; for prayer imitates more than all others, and we should therefore meditate on him carefully (The Path of Glory, Part 2, Chapter 24).

This is also stated by St. Isaac the Syrian: as for thoughts, listen carefully; with a desire to pray, you will destroy the works; and: the atmosphere of hearty joy and silence is filled by intense attention (Chapters 90 and 91) which is “as necessary for prayer as the lamp for the light of the lamp” (Chapter 102). Similarly, St. Niphon the monk, having expounded the doctrine of inner prayer, finally concludes that if it is not convenient, following the example given by him, to enter the heart, then we should employ all kinds of attention in prayer, which, without any doubt, will open the gate of the heart and develop inner prayer, as in the Holy Scriptures confirms this truth that, without attention, we cannot be united with God, saying: Be still, and know that I am God.

            Therefore, anyone who seeks by means of attention to achieve inner prayer should keep to solitude as much as possible, avoid conversation with people, recite prayer not in haste and not suddenly, but with some arrangement, deepen one’s mind in the words of prayer in such a way as is usually the case with attentive reading of a book, keep on calling, and implore him with humility, of whom one implores: sometimes, after creating one prayer, one should pause for a while, as if to wait for God’s answer, try to keep one’s attention both in the case of distraction and always remember that one has committed oneself to remaining in the continuous attention of prayer, in purifying one’s mind from thoughts.

Third key: Calm breathing and rhythm

            The third key is entering into oneself or the heart. Without elaborating on this, we will present a picture and the teaching of the Fathers about self-improvement and entrance into the heart, according to the methods they have tried, as faithful guides to authentic spiritual interior prayer. The instructions of the Fathers on this subject will be presented here in their own words, dividing them for convenience into three columns and arranging them in the following order:

The first row will consist of fathers who have left us complete instruction on the Lord’s Prayer, namely: 1) Simeon the New Theologian, 2) Gregory of Sinai, 3) Niphon the monk, and 4) the monks Callistus and Ignatius of Xanthopoulis.

            The second row consists of fathers who left short statements on interior prayer, which are:

1) St. Simeon the New Theologian, 2) Philip of Sinai, 3) Feolyppt Metropolitan and 4) Varnasonfy and John.

       We will place in third place the saving account of Abba Filimon. He brings all the way of asceticism to mind.

Holy fathers’ instructions on inner heart prayer

1st group of instructions

1) Instructions of St. Simeon the New Theologian

St. Simeon the New Theologian explains the way of entry into the heart, using the third form of prayer, in the 68th verse (page 163, in the second edition of the Russian translation):

        The third form of prayer is truly wondrous and indescribable, and for those who have not experienced it, it is not only awkward, but even seems incredible. And indeed, in our time this form of prayer is met very rarely, while the temptations and tricks used by demons are destroyed. Because then the mind, being free from everything, has the opportunity, without any hindrance, to examine the thoughts that are imposed by demons, and with great ease to expel them and to pray with a pure heart to God.

        Having described the conditions for success in this form of prayer, namely: perfect obedience, and keeping one’s conscience pure, both in relation to God and to people and things, and to do everything as if one were before God, he continues:

Operating in this manner, you will balance yourself on a true and unerring path to the third form of prayer, which is as follows: let the mind keep the heart while it prays, and let it circle endlessly within, and from its deepest part let it send prayers to God.

            Three things are to be observed, first of all, other things: taking care of everything, even the blessed, and not only the unblessed and worldly, or otherwise, the sterility of everything, a clear conscience in everything, so that it does not expose you to anything, and perfect impartiality, so that your mind does not turn to any thing. Then sit in a special and silent place, alone, close the door, turn your mind away from any temporal and worldly thing, bow your head with your own head, and thus concentrate your attention inside yourself (not in your head, but in your heart), turning your mind and senses there, and keeping them. Having your mind there, try as much as possible to find it, where the heart is, so that when you find it, your mind is already fully there. At first, you will find a darkness and hardness inside yourself, but then, if you continue this exercise of attention day and night, you will experience an unceasing joy. The mind, by practicing this, will reach the place of the heart, and then you will immediately see things inside that you have never seen or known. From the moment when any thought arises from any direction and appears, before it enters inside and starts to think or imagine, the mind will immediately drive it out and destroy it by the name of Jesus, that is, “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” From that moment, the mind will start to be angry with demons, to flee and destroy them. What else usually follows this practice, with God’s help, you will learn by keeping your attention and holding Jesus, that is, his prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!”

2) Advice of the Saint Grigory the Theologian

St. Grigory the Theologian teaches the doctrine of inner prayer in the heart and the way to practice it in three of his articles on silence and prayer, included in the section 1 of the Duty of Love, pages 112-119. Here is a shortened excerpt from them:

It would be well for us, having received the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, to speak with purity of heart in prayer, to talk with the Lord as an angel. But we do not understand the greatness, honor and glory of the grace of the Resurrection, and we do not bother to grow spiritually through the performance of the commandments and rise to the state of conscious contemplation, so we neglect it, which leads us into passionate vices and sinks us into the abyss of unfeeling and darkness. It happens that we do not even remember whether there is a God, and what we should be like as children of God by grace, we do not know about it. We believe, but not with an active faith, and after the renewal of the spirit at baptism, we do not cease to live carnally. If sometimes, after repentance, we begin to keep the commandments, we do so only outwardly, not spiritually, and we alienate ourselves from the spiritual life, that its manifestations in others seem to us to be wrongs and mistakes. Thus, until our death, we remain spiritually dead, living and acting not for Christ, and not responding to that definition that one born of the spirit must be spiritual.

Meanwhile, our faith in Christ Jesus gained through holy Baptism is not erased, but only buried, like a treasure in the ground. But prudence and gratitude require us to take care that it be discovered and made manifest. How is this done? Two methods lead to this: first, this gift becomes revealed through intense fulfillment of the commandments, so that as we fulfill the commandments, this gift becomes brighter and more radiant; second, it appears and becomes manifested by a constant appeal to the Lord Jesus, or, in other words, by a constant remembrance of God. The first method is powerful, but the second is more powerful, so that the first receives its full effect from it. Therefore, if we sincerely wish to reveal the hidden seed of grace within us, we should hasten to become accustomed to the latter exercise of the heart and have this one prayer in our hearts without ceasing until it warms our heart and inflames it with an inexplicable love for the Lord.

 When, however, your mind is weary and your body and heart are weary from the intense exercise of frequent calling of the Lord Jesus, then stand and sing, or meditate on some passage of Scripture, or think of death, or read, or do some craftwork, or anything else.

When you take up this work of prayer, it is appropriate for you to read only such books as contain the teachings on the inner life, on sobriety and prayer, especially the Ladder of St. Ishac the Syrian, the Words of Isaac the Syrian, the ascetic books of Maximus the Confessor, St. Simeon the New Theologian, Ezechias, Philofeius of Sinai, and others. Leave the writings of another kind until a later time, not because they are bad, but because it is inappropriate for you to engage in them with your present mood and aspiration: they can distract your mind from prayer. Read little, but with depth and understanding.

 Do not neglect prayer either. Some keep a great prayer rule, while others abandon the prayer book completely, praying to the Lord with one sensible prayer. You should choose the middle ground: do not worry about making many prayers, because this leads to embarrassment, but do not abandon them, in case of weakness and relaxation. If you see that prayer is working in you and does not stop moving in your heart, do not abandon it and do not start a prayer book. This would mean leaving God inside, leaving Him and stretching out the conversation to Him from outside. It is important for those who do not yet have any action in prayer to pray a lot and even excessively, in order to be continuously engaged in this manifold and diverse prayer, until a painful effort of prayer warms the heart and initiates the action of prayer in it. Those who, once tasting such grace, need to pray moderately, and to spend more time in reasoned prayer, as the Fathers have commanded us. In the event of internal relaxation, it is necessary to pray or read the writings of the Fathers. The use of sundries is superfluous when the wind is blowing the sails: they are necessary when the wind dies down and the boat stops.

 The greatest weapon that one has over one’s enemies is that who in prayer keeps a crushed cry, so as not to fall into pride from the delights that prayer brings. He who preserves such joy-soul will avoid any harm. True prayer is not magical; it is one in which the warmth, from the Lord Jesus’ prayer, puts fire into the earth of the heart and ignites the passions, like sulfur. It casts joy and worldly illumination on the soul, and it comes not from the clear or shady country, nor even from above, but bursts forth from the heart, like a spring of water, from the life-giving Spirit. Love this one and return to acquire it in your heart, keeping your mind always sober. Do not fear anything with it, because He Who said: Rejoice, I will not be afraid, is with us Himself.

3) Advice of Nikhonor Monk

            Nikifor the monk gives his advice on entering the heart in his article on sobriety and the preservation of the heart (The Divine Liturgy, Part 2, p.36-43).

            Those of you who wish to receive the heavenly fire of the heart in your feelings, and to know it experientially, come and I will tell you the science of the heavenly life, or rather the art, which without labor and sweat introduces its creator into the haven of impartiality. Through fallenness we have fallen out; let us return to ourselves, turning away from the external. Reconciliation and kinship with God are impossible for us if we do not return to ourselves and enter within. Only the inner life is truly Christian life. All the Fathers testify to this.

            So one of the brothers asked Aggathon the Elder: what is more important, bodily labor or the preservation of the heart? The old man answered: man is like a tree; bodily labor is the leaves, and the preservation of the heart is the fruit. Since, according to Scripture, every tree that does not bear good fruit must be cut down and thrown into the fire, it is obvious that you should direct all your care to the fruit, that is, to the preservation of the heart. However, for us, both the leathery clothing and bodily labor are necessary.

            St. Lysohordhos says: close the door to the cell of the body, the door of the mouth for the tongue, and the inner door for evil spirits. While sitting aloft (that is, having established attention over the heart), watch, if you are skillful, which ones and in what number approach your mother to enter the vineyard of your heart and increase the clusters. Having worked hard, the doorkeeper (that is, listens to the heart), upon rising, prays, and then, again sitting, bravely takes up the same task (that is, attention to the heart and prayer).

            St. Macarius the Great teaches: the main task of the ascetic is to enter his heart, to create a struggle with Satan and resist his thoughts, to fight against him.

            St. Isaac the Syrian writes: It is necessary to enter into your inner treasure, and you will see the heavenly treasure. The chamber of the kingdom of heaven is hidden inside you, that is, in your heart. Therefore, wash yourself from sin, and assemble in your heart: there will you obtain the degrees by which to ascend the steps of the sky.

            Here is the saying of Carpophius: much effort and labor are required in prayers to find the unflagging state of thoughts – this is the inner heartly heaven, where Christ lives, as the Apostle says: Do you not know that Christ lives in you?

Here are the words of St. Symeon the New Theologian: “Since the time when man was driven from Paradise and separated from God, the devil with his demons has been free at all times to move around invisibly, exercising the imaginary power of each person. The only way to protect yourself from this mind is to have a constant memory of God. Whoever becomes aware of the memory of God can keep his thinking power from straying.”

               In addition to this precious and joyful influence on the heart and the attention it deserves, we will receive all the virtues of the soul: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, and more.

4) Precepts of Kallist and Ignatius Ksantopulous

               Kallist and Ignatius Ksantopulus present their lessons on the inner transformation of the heart in 100 chapters contained in the Dobrotolubie (Part 2, pp. 56-131). Here is the main point for us:

               The beginning of life with God is zeal and every earnest endeavor to live according to Christ’s saving commandments; the end, however, is the manifestation of what is fully embodied in us by the divine grace of baptism, or what is the same, “to put off the old man with his deeds and lusts, and to put on the new man of spirit” (Eph 4:22-23).

               When we are baptized, Saint Zosimos says, our soul is more radiant than the sun, purified by the Holy Spirit. Like pure silver that lies in the sun’s rays, and even radiates its rays; not by its own nature, but through illumination by the sun; so is the soul that is purified in baptism, it receives the rays of the glory of the Spirit, and is itself glorious within. But, unfortunately! This glory, ineffable and terrifying, remains with us only one or two days, and then we extinguish it, bringing tumults of life’s cares and passionate affairs.

               In the divine baths, that is, in holy baptism, we receive the full divine grace. If, however, we then hide it under the veil of life’s cares and passions, we can restore it again through repentance and the fulfillment of divine commandments, and see its natural brightness. This happens in proportion to the faith of each person and the fervor of striving to live according to faith, especially with the blessing of the Lord Jesus Christ. Saint Mark says: “Christ, the perfect God, gave perfect grace to those who were baptized, to the Holy Spirit, which requires no program from us; it opens up to us and is clearly made in proportion to the fulfillment of the commandments, until we reach the fulfillment of Christ in life’s measure.”

            Therefore, since the beginning and the root of saving action is to live according to the commandments of the Lord, and the end and the fruit, – to restore the perfect grace of the Spirit, which is given to us first in baptism, but which is buried in passions, and which is revealed again through the fulfillment of God’s commandments: it is fitting for us to announce this gift. Let us cleanse and see more clearly. The Confessor of the Lord, John, says that whoever keeps the commandments of the Lord with the Lord, is with the Lord. The Lord Himself explains this even more fully by saying: If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him; and I will come to Him, and make my dwelling place with him. When anyone loves Me, My word dwells in him, and my Father loves him, and I come to him and make my dwelling place with him.

            This precise fulfillment of saving commandments is impossible for us without the Lord Jesus Christ, as He Himself says: Without Me you can do nothing, and as the Apostle proclaimed that there is no other salvation. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Therefore, our venerable teachers and teachers, with the living and holy Spirit in them, teach us, above all else, to pray to the Lord and to ask Him for our graces, and to always carry His holy and sweetest name in our hearts, minds, and thoughts. For just as in the time when we do not have this calling, every evil and harmful thing gathers in us; so in the time when it is in us, every opposing thing is removed, nothing good is dismissed, and nothing is possible that we could not accomplish, as the Lord Himself said: Whoever is in Me and I am in him, he will form.

Therefore, having realized our own powerlessness, and placing all of our hope in the Lord, and having loved the commandments to the point of being willing to lay down our lives rather than violate one of them, let us devote all our efforts to getting used to and being established in this continual calling of the saving name of the Lord, which is destructive to every evil and purifying.

In order to adapt this work, the holy fathers have pointed out a particular kind of deed, calling it an art and even the art of arts. Here we offer the natural art of St. Nicholas, as a way to go inside the heart through breathing, which greatly aids in gathering thoughts.

            Its rule is as follows: Sit in a secluded place, and having gathered your mind, bring it into the heart through breathing and, having stopped your attention there, repeatedly say: O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! Do this until the prayer is imprinted in the heart and becomes continuous.

It should be known that if we teach our mind to go into the heart along with our breathing, we will also notice that, going there, it becomes one and naked, holding only the memory of our Lord Jesus Christ and the invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ. On the contrary, when it emerges from there and draws toward external objects, it is unwillingly divided into many images and memories. To preserve this simplicity and unity of mind, it was prescribed by the experienced fathers in this matter that the one who was zealous to acquire the skills of keeping his mind in the heart should sit in a silent and dark place, especially at the beginning of this good undertaking. For the sight of external objects is naturally the cause of dispersing thoughts. When the silent and dark temple hides from us the outside world, thought ceases to be distracted and becomes more easily integrated into itself, as St. Basil the Great says: “The mind that is not distracted by the senses on the world turns inward.”

            Know also that all such adaptable positions of the body are prescribed, defined by detailed rules, and considered necessary until pure and fervent prayer ceases to reside in the heart. When, however, by the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, you have attained this, then, abandoning many and various actions, you will be more attached to the universal Lord by a single and pure heart prayer, and will no longer need such adjustments.

            Therefore, if you wish to live the life of Christ Jesus through deeds, strive to achieve that you, at any time and in any hour, and in any matter, should pray to the Lord in your heart, in a pure and non-murmuring manner, so that you can reach, in this way, the state of manhood in accordance with one’s age, complete and do the work of Christ. Do not forget, however, that when, at times, a pure and unfettered prayer comes to you, you must by no means rob it of your rules of prayer. Phillipus says: whether it is night or day, the Lord will grant you that pure and unblemished prayer, and then you must abandon your rules and do your best to come close to the Lord God, and He will illuminate your heart in spiritual things.

            When you have attained a permanent state of prayer in your heart, then, as Isaac the Syriac says, you have reached the end of all virtues and have become a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit; then prayer will cease, whether you sit or walk, or eat, or drink, or do any other thing. Even in the deepest sleep the fragrances of prayer will flow from your heart with ease. If it becomes silent in your sleep, but it will still be secretly operating, without interruption.

Second group of instructions

1) Verses of Isaihias the Presbyter

            1) Aware attention is a continuous rest from every thought, a silence of the heart in which it breathes constantly and continually, calling on Christ Jesus, Son of God and God, and through Him alone, always and ever, and keeping itself boldly against the enemies, and having the power to condemn and confess sins. 

            2) Temperance is the firm establishment and standing of the mind near the gates of the heart; so that he sees, as approaching thoughts of resentment, these thieves-robber, hears what they say and do, these corrupters and demons, who mark out and enclose the image, trying to capture the mind through dreams and to corrupt it. If we find it difficult to pass through such action, then it will clearly show us the art of mental bargaining.  (Chapter 6).

3) Three images of sobriety: the first is to look unrelentingly into dreams, or into an ideal; the second is to have a heart that constantly remains silent and is silent and silent in every thought, and to pray; the third is to constantly call upon the help of the Lord Jesus Christ in humility; the fourth is to have an unceasing remembrance of death in one’s heart; the fifth is the most effective of all – to look only to heaven, incurring no blame on earth (Chapters 14-18).

            8) The devil wanders about like a roaring lion with his troops; he calls whom he wants to swallow. Let us never cease giving care to our heart, abstinence, controlling our thoughts, and praying to Jesus Christ, our God. For there is no help other than Jesus’ help for all our life, because only He is the Lord, the God, who knows the demons’ tricks, their ways and their cunning. (chap. 39).

            9) Just as the salty taste enhances the bread and all other foods, safeguards the meat from rot and keeps it sound for a long time, so understand the wise safeguard of the imaginary pleasure and the wonderful work within the heart. For it delights both the inner and the outer person, banishes the stale stench of the vain thoughts and preserves us in good (chap. 87).

            10) The more carefully you listen to the mind, the more eagerly you pray to Jesus; and the more carelessly you watch over the mind, the more you distance yourself from Jesus. And, as the mind is clearly illuminated by reason, the last, that is, the aversion from sobriety and the sweet calling of Jesus, usually completely darkens it (chap. 90).

            11) The constant, with a warm desire, full of sweetness and joy, appeal of Jesus makes the air of the heart be filled with a pleasant silence. The reason for this is that the heart becomes completely purified by Jesus Christ, the Son of God and God, the Cause of all that is good and the Creator. For He Himself says: “I am the God who creates the world.” (chap. 91).

            12) The divine state is born from the incessant contemplation and the appeal of our Lord Jesus Christ, if we do not neglect the constant prayer to Him in the mind and the constant sobriety, as the only strictly necessary thing to do. Indeed, we should always commit the same and one thing, prayer to Jesus Christ, the Lord our God; with a fervent heart, crying out to Him, may He give us to partake and taste of His name. For perseverance is the mother of practice, both in virtue and in vice; and then this practice rules, like nature. When we have reached such a state, the mind is already looking for its adversaries, like a boisterous dog searching for a hare in the bush; but one seeks to devour, and the other to strike and scatter them (chap. 97).

            13) The experienced David prays to the Lord: “I will keep my kingdom to you” (Psalm 104:20). And it is through the grace of the Lord, who has given us commandments, that we can preserve our inner and visible tranquility, from which all virtues are born. Our inner watchfulness depends on the grace of the Lord, who calls us incessantly, and who banishes from us any distractions which most often put an end to inner tranquility, like water put on fire. Therefore do not fall asleep from neglect to your own destruction, but with the same ardor slay your enemies with the name of Jesus. This is most delicious to thee and will refresh thine own breath; and then shalt thou perceive the fruit of rest (Psalm 102).

17) What a wonderful fruit for the mind to be from silence, in which sins beat first on the mind only with thoughts, so that, if accepted by the heart, they may become rough, sensual sins; all are cut off by the virtue of sobriety in our inner person, which does not allow them to enter in and enter in, and Jesus Christ (chapter 111).21) In the business of unceasing sobriety, it is an immediate task to discern the dreamlike thoughts that arise in the mind. It is the business of speech to expose and expose the thought that has made a bid to enter the air of our mind with the help of an imaginary sensual object. The same thing that immediately extinguishes and disperses every intention of our opponents, every dream, every idol, and every pillar of evil, is the call of the Lord. And we ourselves see how strongly Jesus, our great God, overthrows them, and how he protects us who are humble, poor, and good-for-nothing (ch. 153).

2) Sayings of The Philotheia of Sinai

     1) The work of godliness deserves such language, and the purpose of reason is to calm and purify the heart in remembrance of God like a delicate flower or a precious stone (chg. 1).

     2) From morning to evening it is necessary to stand vigilant and unyielding at the door of the heart, with a firm remembrance of God and a constant prayer to Jesus Christ in the soul, slaying all the sinners of the earth with this thought (chg. 2).

     3) Chastity is rightly called a path, because it leads to the kingdom, to that which is within us, and to the future, and to the Wise Creator, because it produces and refines spiritual habits and transforms passion into dispassion. It is like a window of light through which God descends into the mind (chg. 3).

     4) Where there is humility, remembrance of God with sobriety and attention, and prayer frequently directed against the adversaries, there is the place of God, or the heaven of the heart, in which the plague of demons fears to stay because God lives there (chg. 4).

     5) The first gate that leads into the heavenly Jerusalem through the consideration of the mind are the reasonable silence of the lips, even when the mind is not yet silent; the second – moderate moderation in food, drink and sleep; the third – that purifies the mind and body, perpetual remembrance and reasoning about death (chg. 6).

     6) Sweet remembrance of God, i.e. of Jesus Christ, with heartfelt anger and the salvific hostility towards everything sinful, usually destroys all the charms of thoughts, various suggestions, words and images, shameful visions, and, to put it shortly, everything that is hostile, consuming our souls. Jesus, having been invoked, easily burns everything. Because there is no salvation in anyone else, except Jesus Christ. This is what the Savior Himself said, saying: Without Me you can do nothing.

            7) Throughout every hour and every moment, let us be careful to guard our hearts from thoughts which darken the heart’s mirror, in which it is necessary to cast an image and write the name of Jesus Christ alone, Who is the wisdom and power of God the Father. Let us incessantly seek the kingdom of heaven within our hearts. And surely we shall discover within ourselves both the grain, the seed, the leaven, and all the rest, if we clear our mind’s eye. That is why our Lord Jesus Christ said: The kingdom of God is within you, understanding by this the Divine being that is within the heart (ch. 23).

1) The setting of the sun makes nightfall; and when Christ withdraws from the soul, it is engulfed by the darkness of the passions, and the wild beasts of thought begin to prey on it. The sun of the senses has set, and the beasts hide in their dens. Christ illuminates the mind that prays; and every world of this order passes away, and the mind goes about its business, that is, its divine teaching, until evening (letter 45).

            8) Believe me, I speak the truth: if in all your labours you have constantly at your side the Mother of every good, that is, Prayer, she will not fail until she shows you the way to it, until she leads you into it, and until she carries you into a surpassing glory and triumph. Shattering all obstacles, she paves the way to virtue and makes it easier for those who seek (Letter 48).

            9) As you meditate, read the verbs of prayer and talk to the Lord, ceaselessly crying out and never ceasing to pray, imitating the widow who insisted to the unruly judge. Then (this will mean that) you will walk in spirit, not listen to earthly desires, and never interrupt the continuity of prayer, but you will be a temple of God in which God is silently extolled. Thus, by praying in your mind, you will be able to eventually attain unceasing remembrance of God, to penetrate the inaccessible secrets of reason, in secret contemplations to see the invisible, serving God alone to the one who is alone, and to pour out in love that is understood by you alone (Letter 48).

4) The sayings of the Greeks: Origen and John the Theologian

            1) From the call of God’s name, enemies are weakened. Knowing this, we will not cease to beseech His name for help. This is prayer, and the Scripture says: “Without ceasing, pray” (Pr 422).

            2) Be mindful that God is the inner knower, looking at the heart, and call Him to your heart. This is what is said in Scripture: “Hide your doors and pray to your Father in secret” (Pr 427). Let us close our mouth and pray to Him in our heart; for whoever closes his mouth and calls God, or prays to Him in his heart, he fulfils the command (Pr 427).

            3) Your soul’s work should consist in constantly praying to God. If you want to succeed in this, take the initiative and search diligently, hoping, and God will bless you with success (Pr 26).

            4) Constant calling upon God’s name is a cure that kills not only passions but their very action as well. Like a doctor who seeks a proper medicine or plaster to heal a sick person’s wound, and they work, while the patient does not even know how it is done: just so, God’s name, when called, kills all passions, though we do not know quite how it is done (Pr 421).

            5) The Lord said: “Ask and it will be given to you.” Pray to the All-Merciful God, let him send you the Holy Spirit of Comfort, and he who has come will teach you everything and reveal all the rites to you. Find him as your guide; he will not allow vanity or distraction in your heart, nor will he allow thoughtlessness, distraction or laziness. He shall illuminate your eyes, establish your heart, raise your mind. Cling to him, trust him, love him (reply 136).

            6) When you see that the union of the enemy prevents you from praying, do not argue with him, but try to invoke the name of God, and God will help you and annul the trickery of the enemies (reply 424).

            7) The perfect prayer consists in talking to God without scattering thoughts, gathering all your thoughts and feelings. A person enters such a state when he dies to all people, to the world, and to everything that is in it. In prayer, he has nothing but God in his mind, and he speaks to Him (reply 79).

Useful words about Avva Filimon

            1) It is said about Avva Filimon the hermit that he shut himself up in a cave which was not far from the Lavra called Romyiv, and he devoted himself to ascetic struggles, mentally repeating what the Great Arsenius is said to have repeated to himself: “Filimon, why are you there? You have had a good time in this cave. His task was to make cords and weave baskets which he gave to the economy, and from him he received small pitas on which he ate. He did not eat anything except bread with salt, and not every day. He probably did not take care of his body at all, but with practice in contemplation, he was in divine enlightenment, and, having pleased from this ineffable mystery, he was in spiritual growth. Going to church on Saturdays and Sundays, he always walked alone in self-immersion, not allowing anyone to approach him so that the mind would not be alienated from its action. In the church, however, he stood in a corner and bowed his face to the ground, letting the tears flow, constantly having repentance and with an attentive mind turning the souls and the image of the saints-bishops, especially Arsenius the Great, whose footsteps he tried to follow in every way.

2) When lies began to spread in Alexandria and its vicinity, he left there and retired to the Lavra of Nicandros. The God-fearing Pachomios accepted him, gave him a separate place, and provided him with a life in solitude. He did not let anyone see him for an entire year, and only occasionally interrupted him to bring him the necessary bread. The Holy Resurrection of Christ came. When the two talked together and the conversation turned to the life of the wanderer, Philimon understood that this pious brother of Pachomios also harbored the lofty intention of withdrawing from the world into the desert. He had heard many ascetic discourses to that end, both written and oral, all of which demonstrated that it was impossible to please God without complete solitude; nowhere was the heroic deed more at odds with God’s will and the hero was met with sighs, and thereafter fear, humility, illumination and love. These eventually rendered a person healthy and detached, and he came to understand that he was not far from God.(3) He said to him: it is by silence altogether that you are to purify your mind and give it incessant spiritual activity. Just as the eye, when it beholds the sensible, is amazed by the visible, so the pure mind, when it turns its attention to thinking, is enchanted by the spiritually perceived, so that it cannot be turned away from it. And as long as it is revealed through silence, freed from passions and purified, so much the more it will be pleasing and pleasing to the spirit of divine things. The perfected mind is when it tastes the essence of divinity and becomes united with God. Then, having the dignity of a king, it no longer feels poverty nor is it concerned with earthly desires, even if you offer it all kingdoms. Therefore, if you wish to achieve such good things, flee from the world and assiduously advance on the path of the saints, neglect the care of your outward appearance, wear worn-out clothing and modest adornments. Maintain a simple conduct, a simple speech, abominable manners, a coarse voice. Love to live in poverty and be neglected by all. Above all, rejoice at the preservation of the mind and purity, be patient in all hardships and preserve the spiritual benefits already acquired in an intact and motionless state. Take good care of yourself and do not accept any of the passions that insidiously creep in. For, though silence controls the passions of the soul, if one allows them to flare up and become more acute, they usually become even more inflamed, and those who allow this are all the more easily led into sin. Similarly, bodily wounds, rubbed and torn, are incurable. And even one word can divert the mind from the recollection of God, when demons are hungry for it, and the senses agree with them. The great struggle and fear is to preserve the soul. Therefore, you must completely depart from the world and, having banished the soul from any sensuous contact with the body, become homeless, homeless, friendless, landless, selfless, carefree, solitary, ignorant of worldly matters, humble, compassionate, kind, meek, quiet, calm, and write the inscription on your heart. For it is impossible to write on wax without first erasing the letters already engraved on it, as the Great Basil teaches us. Such was the image of the saints, who, having completely withdrawn from all worldly customs and having preserved in them an unhurried heavenly understanding, illuminated divine laws and shone with pious works and words, passing on earthly vanities by means of self-control, divine fear, and love. For unceasing prayer and teaching in divine scriptures open the wise eyes of the heart and behold the Lord of the forces, and there is great joy, and a divine desire that breaks out in the soul without ceasing, in which the flesh, by the action of the Spirit, remains and the whole man becomes spiritual. Such is what the creators of blessed silence and of an extremely ascetic way of life desire, who, having extracted themselves from all human pleasures, converse incessantly with the only Lord in heaven.4) After hearing this, that pious brother, struck in his soul with the love of God, left his place and, together with Filimon, reached the monastery where the elders had accomplished the path of virtue. They settled in the Lavra of St John the Baptist, entrusting their care to the caretaker of the Lavra, as they wanted to be in complete silence. And they dwelt there by the grace of God in complete silence, and on Saturdays and Sundays they would go out in assemblies, while on the other days they would stay in the Lavra themselves; each one would pray and offer service in particular.9) And a certain brother named Ivan, throwing himself from the seaside, came to this holy and great father Filimon, and, embracing his feet, said to him: What shall I do, father, in order to be saved? For my mind is wandering here and there, where it should not be. And he, after a brief silence, said: This disease (of the soul) is a characteristic of those who are outward, and it is in them. And it is in you, because you have not yet received love for God, love for Him has not yet come to you, nor has the knowledge of Him. The brother says to the elder: What shall I do, father? And he said: Go, take in your heart the secret teaching, and it will purify your mind from this. The brother, not having been initiated into what was given as a sign here, says to the elder: What is this secret teaching, father? And he said to him: Go, be sober in your heart, and in your thoughts, with fear and trembling, say: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! In this way the primal and blessed Diacor teaches.11) The brother asked him: I see many vain dreams when I sleep. The elder said to him: Do not be lazy or weak. But before you go to sleep, do much prayer in your heart, resist the thoughts and movements of the devil to lead you according to his will, let God accept you. As long as you have the strength, be careful to fall asleep with psalms on your lips and with wise admonitions, and in no way allow your mind to accept the thoughts of others, but with what thoughts you prayed, you should lean on your bed to sleep, so that they remain in you and become part of you. Say the Holy Symbol of Orthodox faith before going to sleep, because the faith in God is the source and protection of all good things.

            And now he said something more to him: Reflect on the things of this world which exist in the soul. They are a sickness of the perfect soul which has fallen into carelessness. For according to the Scriptures, we ought to observe every precaution of the mind, to sing with intelligence without dispersion and to pray with pure understanding. Therefore, brother, God wants us to be diligent towards Him, first of all by works (ascesis and good deeds), then by love and constant prayer, and He will give us the way of salvation. Obviously, there is no other way that leads to heaven except complete detachment from all that is evil, the acquisition of all that is good, complete love for God and being with Him in virtue and truth, so that when one has this, he will soon ascend to the heavenly throne. But with this, anyone who wishes to rise to a high level must immediately kill the desires that exist on earth. For when our soul delights in the contemplation of true goodness, it no longer returns to any of the passions that are excited by sweet sinful pleasures; but, having turned away from all bodily vanities, it receives the revelation of God with a pure and uncomplaining mind. Therefore, we need great self-preservation, many bodily labors and the purification of the soul, and we must enthrone God in our hearts so that we may perform His divine commandments blamelessly and that He Himself may teach us to observe His laws, radiating, like the rays of the sun, His actions upon us through the grace of the Spirit. By works and temptations we must cleanse the image in which we were created as beings with a mind capable of understanding and imbuing ourselves with the divine. Bearing feelings clean from all impurity through the refashioning of them in the furnace of temptation, let us be fashioned into royal dignity. God and the human race created mankind capable of receiving every good that can be perceived in the mind, the joys of the angelic glory, the reign, the power, the beginning, the authority, the light of unapproachable splendor, the glory of the bright wisdom. But when you correct a virtue, do not let your intention rise above your brother, for you corrected it, and he disliked it; for this is the beginning of pride. When you struggle with any passion, do not despair or give up because the temptation is obstinate; but rise up and submit yourself before the face of God, speaking earnestly with the prophet: “Be merciful to me, O Lord, to those who oppress me, for I am not strong against them.” And He, seeing your humility, will soon send you His help. When you go with someone on the road, do not engage in frivolous conversation, but grant the mind the spiritual action it had so that this good habit may dwell in him and forget the worldly sweets, and he may not depart from the haven of self-discipline.13) But after a while he came back again and, starting his speech, asked, “What should I do, Father? In my night service, sleep overcomes me and prevents me from praying with sobriety and from increasing prayer; and I want to take up work when I am singing.” The elder then said, “If you can pray with sobriety, do not touch the needlework; but when you are overcome by sleep, move away slightly from your thoughts, and when it appears to you, touch the needlework.” He asked again, “Do you, Father, not feel sleepy during your service?” The elder said, “Not so easily; but when sleep sometimes attacks me, I move away a little, but I begin reading from the beginning of the Gospel of John, fixing my mind’s eye on God, and it immediately disappears. I do something similar with thoughts, precisely when I discover one of them; I meet it like fire with tears, and it disappears.” You cannot yet arm yourselves against them; but keep closely the confidential instruction and try to fulfill the routines established by the holy fathers, such as the daily prayers – third, sixth, ninth, and the evening one, as well as the night services. And with all your strength, try not to do anything for the sake of human glory, and be careful not to take offense with anyone from the brotherhood, so as not to distance yourself from God your own. Also, try to keep your mind from being scattered, paying close attention to inner thoughts. When you are in Church and intend to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ’s Body, do not leave it until you receive the fullness of the world. Stand in one place and do not move from there until the dismissal; in your heart, think that you are in heaven, awaiting the Holy Trinity, ready to receive Him into your heart with fear and trembling, so that you may be a worthy participant of the holy powers.”14) Until now, his brother, who was living with him, said this. Sitting next to him one day, I asked him whether he had been tempted by demonic schemes while living in the desert. He said, “Forget it, brother, if God allows the devil’s temptations to come upon you, which I have experienced, I don’t think you will be able to bear their bitterness. I am seventy years old, or a little over, I have suffered many temptations while living in various deserts in perfect silence; what I have experienced and endured from these demons is not worth it to tell those who have not been tempted by silence yet. In such temptations I have always acted in this way: I placed all my hope in God, whom I gave vows of abnegation, and He soon rescued me from every need. Why, brother, do I no longer do my own business? I know that He looks after me, and I easily bear the temptations that come upon me. And it is to Him that I offer myself, that I may pray incessantly. Much helps here too the hope that the more tribulations and hardships come upon me, the greater are the crowns of endurance that the merciful Lord prepares for me. For with the just Judge, both these and those balance each other. Knowing this, brother, do not be discouraged. Having entered the midst of the battle, fight and fight, encouraged by the fact that those who are fighting against our enemy are many, many more than the forces of the enemy. Yet how could one dare to oppose such a terrible opponent of our kind, if the cloak of God the Word, the hand of the Divine Self, were not covering and protecting us? How could human nature stand up to his onslaught? For as Job says, whoever would reveal the way of his clothing? Who would go into his ruin? He throws out flames as lamps, and sparks as sparks of fire. From his nostrils there comes smoke from a coal-fire that burns. His soul, like fireworks, and flames from his mouth. Strength is nestled in the neck, destruction flows before him. His heart is bricked up like a stone, standing stationary like a forge. He sets the abyss ablaze like a copper furnace, and looks upon the sea as a peaceful haven, and the whirlpool as a master. All that is high, he alone sees as the ruler of the whole world in the waters.15) The brother told me that Avva Filimon had other virtues, such as: he could not tolerate listening to idle talk, and if someone, without thinking, related something that did not relate to the benefit of the soul, he did not respond to it at all. Similarly, when I was engaged in any matter, he did not ask, “For what reason are you going?” And when I returned, he did not say, “Where were you? What did you do, and how did you do it?” Once, on an urgent need, I went to Alexandria, and from there, in connection with a church matter, I went to Tsargorod, without letting the servant of God know about it; then, after spending enough time there, visiting the pious brothers, I finally returned to the hermitage. Upon seeing me, the elder was surprised and, with the customary greeting and prayer, sat down; but he did not ask me anything at all, and was busy with his customary wise actions.18) Then he added the story about a hermit, saying that he had already attained purity and received bread to eat from the hand of an angel, but had lost this honor through distraction. For when the soul relaxes its attention, which is both wide and intense, then this soul is overwhelmed by the night. Where God does not shine, everything becomes blurred, as in darkness; and then this soul cannot look to the one God and tremble with His words. “God comes near to Me,” says the Lord, “and He is not far away. Or are people hidden in secret places, and will I not see them? Do I fill heaven and earth?” And he recounted many other such things, similar to the suffering ones. He also quoted the fall of Solomon, who, he said, had acquired such wisdom and, being admired by all because he shone like the dawn, lost such glory through a little vanity. Therefore, it is fearful to indulge in laziness; but one must constantly pray so that another persuasion will not find us, allowing us to be separated from God and replacing the mind with something else. Only a pure heart, having become the abode of the Holy Spirit, sees God Himself in it, as in a mirror.Then we should exert all our efforts in practical deeds, by which we ascend to the virtue of ideal purity, the fruit of which is the contemplation of divinity, inherent to the human intellect. For deeds are means of ascension to contemplation, as the insightful and theological intellect of Gregory the Theologian says. If we are indifferent to what we do, then we will be devoid of every discipline. For even if one attains the height of virtue, all the exertions of ascetic practice, directed at the restraint of the body’s debauched desires and the strict containment of thoughts, are still necessary. Only through these means can we acquire the indwelling of Christ. For the more our righteousness increases, the more our spiritual conditioning develops; and when the intellect has attained perfection, it becomes wholly united with God, and is illumined by divine light, and is enabled to behold the mysteries of divine illumination. Then it really knows where wisdom and strength and the ability to know and understand exist, where long life and life itself, and the light of the eyes and the light of the world are located. For until it has attained rest from the clamour and achieves to possess the gifts of the spirit, it has no possibility of enjoying this. For both virtues and vices make the intellect blind – those to seeing not virtue, and those to seeing not vice. But when the contemplative soul has found rest from clamour, and has acquired spiritual gifts, then, continually manifesting divine grace, it becomes unceasingly lucid and is freed from every distraction and led to the contemplation of spiritual objects. Such a one is not tied to anything earthly, but is ascendant from death to the womb.19. Therefore, a brother who lived with Avva, gave this testimony about him: “He gave all his wealth in favor of the poor, and only with difficulty did he accept the necklace that was given to him. He never returned it to anyone. He also moved his place of abode three times a year. He often ate in the middle of the night and sometimes did not sleep more than one hour, leaving his bed in the morning, so as to have night asceticism every night. Such was his habitual way of life.” So, we have testified about it. 20. This is what the brother who lived with Avva said. But who will not be amazed by this and yet another proof of his great humility? Having been ordained a presbyter long ago, and having ascended to the heavens by his life and wisdom, he shunned divine services like a burden, so that for many years of his ascetic life he very rarely agreed to go to the Holy Table (for the divine services). Nor did he, although he led an ever-dangerous life, frequently partake of the divine Mysteries, when he had to communicate with people, even if he did not speak to them of any worldly affairs, but rather useful things for those who sought to have conversations with him. And when he had a desire to partake of the divine Mysteries, he lay prone for a long while before God, appeasing Him with prayers, psalm-singing, and confessions. He was afraid of the voice of the priest who says: “Holy to the holy…” For at that time, said he, the entire church is filled with holy angels, and the Lord of hosts Himself is mysteriously sacred, and by Holy Communion is sent into our hearts, changing the bread and wine into His Body and Blood. Why then should we stare into that which is holy and unholy, he said, and proceed to the holy communion of the most holy Sacraments of Christ, the source of spiritual illumination, so that we may become partakers of the light and glory that flow from them.

            21) And here is what the brother said, that when the elder had need to sell his work himself, in order to prevent any kind of lie, or vanity, or superfluous word, or any other kind of sin, to talk and bargain, he would pretend to be a hermit; and whoever wanted to buy his work would take it from him, and give whatever he wanted. He made small baskets, and gladly accepted them as a thanks, without saying anything to the man at all.

Conclusion of the holy fathers’ teachings

            Finally, we offer a summary of the spiritual lessons given in this book by the holy fathers.

      Here is what the holy fathers have taught us as a way of prayer and the conditions for success in it:

      Part, that is, the repeated repetition of the Lord’s Prayer.

      Attention, or immersion of the mind in Jesus Christ, with the expulsion of other thoughts.

      Change of prayer words, that is, the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer, sometimes complete, sometimes abbreviated.

      Regularity, that is, that there are times for prayer, the reading of psalms, sitting, standing with outstretched hands, then again the Lord’s Prayer, and evening reading of the fathers.

      Worshiping before God, that is, to always sense God’s presence and, at any time of action, to remember God.

      Throwing away the world, when death is mentioned and the joy of prayer.

      Unceasing invocation of the name of Jesus Christ, in every moment and at every moment, if alone, then out loud, and in the presence of others only by thought.

      Sleeping on the cot with the Lord’s Prayer.

      External prayer for internal prayer.

            So, souls who desire to obtain internal prayer and long for constant union and sweet communion with Jesus Christ, come, ponder, and follow the teachings of the holy fathers in this way:

            1) Sit or better stand in a dark and silent corner in a prayer position.

2) Before starting, make a series of prayers and do not let the members disperse.
3) With imagination, find the place of your heart under the left hand palm and meditate there.
4) Bring the mind from the head to the heart and say, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, quietly, with your mouth, or with one mind, as you prefer, speaking slowly and with reverent fear.
5) Try to maintain your attention as much as possible and do not pay attention to any thoughts, neither bad nor good.
6) Maintain calm patience, placing yourself for a long time in forgetfulness of everything.
7) Maintain moderate modesty and humility in whatever you do with force.
8) Maintain silence.
9) After lunch, read the Gospels and the fathers who meditate on inner action and prayer.
10) Sleep for about 5 or 6 hours per day.
11) Sometimes, pray externally for inner actions.
12) Do not touch activities that distract you.
13) Most often, trust your experiences with the instructions of your parents.
14) Say, “Lord, give me your grace and your strength.” – Blessed be the Lord My Savior.
14) Blessed be the Lord My Savior.
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I, batchechka, remember that last year I left here with a companion, a deaf old man, carrying a letter from an Irkutsk merchant to his son in Odessa, to send me to Jerusalem. So we reached Odessa safely in a short time. My companion immediately booked a place on a ship to Constantinople and left, and I, having stayed behind, went in search of the son of the Irkutsk merchant. Soon I found his house, and, to my great surprise and regret, I found this benefactor of mine alive: it had been three weeks since he had died after a short illness and had been buried. This saddened me greatly, but I put myself in the hands of God. The household was in poverty, the widow of the deceased, having three small children, was so grieving that she cried incessantly, fell into fits several times a day, and suffered; it seemed that she would not live long from such deep sorrow. Nevertheless, she welcomed me kindly; having no possibility, given their circumstances, to send me to Jerusalem, she left me to stay with her for two weeks, until the deceased’s father, keeping his promise, arrived here in Odessa to take charge, settle accounts, and arrange the family’s business. So I stayed.

Finally, after leaving Odessa for 70 versts, I came across a wonderful occurrence: there was a large caravan of goods, with about 30 wagons, and I overtook them. One of the lead dragoons, as the chief, was riding ahead on his horse, and the others, gathered in a group, were following behind. We had to pass by a spring, with broken ice floating in it, whirling around and spreading the water in a circle with a terrible noise. Suddenly the front dragoon stopped his horse, and the whole caravan stopped with him. The dragoons gathered around him and saw that he was undressing. They asked him why he was doing so, and he replied that he wanted to bathe in the spring. Surprised, the dragoons began laughing at him, calling him mad, while the senior and the younger brother of the dragoon who was undressing began to stop him and push him to ride on. He defended himself and did not want to obey. Some of the younger dragoons, to make a joke, began to pour water from the buckets, from which there were five horses, onto him with bucketfuls, with one on his head and one on his collar, saying, “Here we buy you!” As soon as water touched his body, he screamed, “Oh, how good!” and sat down on the ground, where he was still being splashed; then he soon lay down and quietly died. They all were frightened, not understanding what had happened. The older ones were concerned and said that this should be reported to the court, while the others argued that such a death was written for him in his destiny.

            – I cannot say anything to you about this, dear brother, other than that there are many wonderful and incomprehensible things in nature. This, I think, is arranged by God in order to show more clearly to man the government and providence of God concerning nature in her unnatural and immediate changes of her laws under certain circumstances… One time myself I was a witness of a similar event: not far from our village there is a very deep ravine with many deep pools. A man of my parish, a family man and of good conduct, suddenly, for no reason, felt an irresistible impulse to jump from that bridge into that deep pool. For a whole week he struggled with this thought and urge; finally, he could no longer bear this strong impulse, got up early in the morning, hurriedly went and jumped into the pool. Soon after I heard a cry and they carried him out of the pool with his legs broken. When they asked him about the cause of his fall, he replied that although he now feels great pain, he is calm in his heart, that he has fulfilled his irresistible desire, which had been driving him all week, so that he is ready to give his life to fulfill his desire. He was treated for more than a year in a city hospital; I visited him often and, seeing doctors around him, would like, like you, to hear from them what the cause of this case was. The doctors answered me unanimously that it was the ‘race’ … When I asked them for the sake of science to explain to me what this is and why it affects a person, I heard no more from them than that this is a mystery of nature and has yet to be discovered by science … As for me, I noticed that if a person turns to people for this mysterious phenomenon, the ‘race’ would not achieve its goal. Indeed, in our life there are many events that are not subject to clear understanding …

            While we were talking like this, it got dark, and I decided to stay here for the night. In the morning, the local vicar sent his clerk to give permission to bury the deceased in the cemetery, and that the doctor had found no signs of insanity in the body at the autopsy, and that his death was due to a sudden stroke.

            So look here, the priest said to me, –- and even medicine could not determine the cause of the man’s irresistible urge to go into the water.

            After travelling several days and tiring myself considerably, I came to a large market town called ‘White Church’. Since it was almost evening, I began to look for lodging. On the market-place I met a man who was also a traveller, who asked about the house of a local resident named Yevaïnov. Seeing me, he approached me and said: ‘It seems that you are a traveller, too. Let us go together and find this local resident, whose surname is Yevaïnov. He is a good Christian, who runs a rich inn and loves to welcome travellers; here is a note for him’… I readily agreed, and we soon found him. Although we did not see the master of the house himself, his wife, a kind old woman, welcomed us warmly and took us to a special room on the attic to rest a bit. We settled down and had a little rest. The master arrived, invited us to have dinner, and then we conversed, and somehow the conversation led to the reason why he was called Yevaïnov. ‘I will tell you a wonderful incident about this,’ he said, and he began his story. ‘Here, you see, my father was a Jew, a native of Shklov and an enemy of Christians. From his earliest years, he trained himself to be a rabbi and diligently studied all of the Jewish intrigues to refute Christianity. One day, as he was passing through a Christian cemetery, he fell asleep and suddenly stood before him an unknown person who chastised him, saying: ‘How dare you mock the dusty remains of my bones! I am a Christian, and you are an enemy of Christ!’ This vision recurred several times at night and deprived him of sleep and rest. Priests read over him prayers and spells, but the vision not only did not go away, but became more insistent and frequent. He wanted to do everything to get rid of this painful and unbearable vision, but he made the following reply: ‘I would be happy to do whatever you want to do to get rid of this vision.’ Upon receiving this request, the vision ceased and never bothered him again. He moved to this place and married my mother, a kind Christian, and lived a devout life in abundance.

After dinner, thanking God and the host, we went to our room to rest. We did not want to sleep yet, and we talked with our companion. He told me that he was a merchant from Mogilev, who had lived for two years in Bessarabia as a novice in one of the monasteries there, but only with a temporary passport, and now he was going home to obtain a permanent dispensation from the merchant society to monastic life. He praised the monasteries there, their statute and regulations, and the strict life of many pious elders who lived there, and assured me that the Bessarabian monasteries were as different from the Russians as heaven is from earth. He tried to convince me to go there. At this time, as we were talking, they brought another lodger to us, an ensign who had been discharged from the army for a while and was on home leave. We saw that he was very tired from the road. After praying together to God, we went to bed. Getting up early in the morning, we began to prepare to leave. And as soon as we wanted to go to thank the host, we suddenly heard the morning service. The merchant and I began to think: how shall we go when we hear the service and have not been to the church of God? It is better to delay the morning service, after praying in the holy temple, and then it will be more enjoyable for us to go. So we decided, and we called the ensign with us. And he told us: “In what way is the journey a sin, and what is the reward to God that we have been to church? Once we get home, let’s pray there! Go when you want, and I will not go. While you are in the morning service, I will go five versts ahead, and bring home what you want: say in advance, as God will provide!”

            – Well, here’s what happened! When I said goodbye to you and left, I felt like going into the tavern to exchange my assignees for small change and have a drink to make it easier to walk. So I went in, exchanged my money, and flew off like an eagle on my way. After walking three yards, I felt like counting my money, just to make sure the tavern owner had given me back everything. So I sat down, took out my wallet, rechecked everything, and suddenly grabbed my passport, which was lying right there, but never got lost; it was just a bunch of notes and cash. So I got scared, as if I’d lost my mind. And I came to the conclusion: of course, I must have lost it while making my exchange at the tavern. I need to turn back. I ran and ran, and it was all to no avail – how could it not be there! Oh, the trouble I was going to be in! When I arrived, I asked the tavern owner, and he said, “I haven’t seen it.” Clouds of despair overtook me again. I need to search the streets where I stood and walked around. So what? Fortunately, I found my passport, just the way it was folded, and it was lying on the floor between straw and rubbish, all crumpled in the dirt. Thank God! I was overjoyed; it was as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders! Even though bad manners or dirt might get one sent to the gallows, but that’s nothing, at least I can go home and return with clear eyes. I came to see you to tell you about it, and while I was running in fear and wiping my leg on the ground until it was raw, I asked for salve to apply to the wound.

– Well, there you are, brother! This is your reward for not listening to me and not going to pray with us, – the merchant began. – You wanted to go ahead of us, but you have turned back, and you have sinned. I told you not to rush ahead, and that is how it turned out! Not only did you not go to church, but you also said such words: “What is the use of praying to God?” This, brother, is not good… Of course, God does not need our sinful prayers, but out of love for us, He likes it when we pray. And not only the sacred prayer, which the Holy Spirit helps us to bring and inspires in us, is pleasing to Him, because He demands this from us by commanding: “Stay in Me and I will be in you,” but even every seemingly small action done for Him, every intention for salvation, our encouragement, is precious to Him. For all this immeasurable mercy, God rewards generously. God’s love gives thanks a thousand times more than this deserving human deed; if you do something for God for a small fee, He will give you silver. If you are only about to go to the Father, He is already coming to meet you. You say a short and dry word: “Accept me! Have mercy on me!” And He is already embracing your neck and stroking you. This is the love of the heavenly Father for us, what is unworthy! And out of this love alone, He rejoices at every small saving movement of ours. It seems to you: What is the glory of the Lord and what benefit for you, if you pray a little, and then you indulge again, or even do some unimportant good deed, for example, read a prayer, make five or ten bows; sigh from your heart and call on the name of Jesus Christ, or notice some good thought, or decide to read something saving, or abstain from food, or bear a small insult in silence. All this seems to you insufficient for your perfect salvation and as if it were fruitless. No! Each of these small deeds will not go to waste, will be counted by the All-Seeing Eye of God and will receive a hundredfold reward, not only in eternity, but also in this life. This is affirmed by St. John Chrysostom. “No good act, he says, no matter how small it may be, will be neglected by a righteous Judge. If sins are examined with such minuteness that we are required to give an account for our words, desires, and thoughts, then the most virtuous deeds, no matter how small they may be, will be counted with particular care and assessed in accordance with their value.”

             I will give you an example I witnessed from past year. In the Bessarab Monastery where I lived, there was an old black monk of a good life. One day he was tempted, and he greatly desired dried fish. And since it was not possible to get it in the monastery at that time, he intended to go to the market and buy it… He struggled with this thought for a long time, and he reasoned that an ascetic should be content with communal brotherly food and should avoid all kinds of enjoyment as much as possible, and that it was also inappropriate for a monk to walk on the market among the crowd of people. Finally, the evil whisper won the upper hand over his reasoning, and he, resorting to indulgence, dared and went for the fish. When he came out of the monastery and walked along the city streets, he noticed that he had no belt in his hands, and he began to think: “How can I go as a warrior without a sword? This is unbecoming, and the worldly people, meeting him, will condemn me and be tempted to see a monk without a belt.” He wanted to return to take them, but, looking into his pockets, he found them there. He took them out, made the sign of the cross, put his hand on them and walked calmly. Approaching the market, he saw a horse near the stalls, standing with a huge wagon full of huge baskets. Suddenly, the horse, frightened by something, started running away with all his strength and beating with his hooves; it ran into it and, grabbing him by the shoulder, threw him to the ground, though not very hard. Immediately afterwards, two steps from him, this wagon tipped over and the load fell apart. Getting up, he was of course frightened, but at the same time surprised, how God had saved his life, because if, by just a second, that load had fallen earlier, he would have been shattered, like the load, too. Not thinking about this any further, he bought fish, returned, ate it, and, having prayed, went to sleep… In a dream, a stranger and noble old man appeared before him and said: “Listen, I am the protector of this monastery and I want to warn you so that you understand and remember the lesson, so that the struggle against sensual pleasure and laziness in the discipline of self-realization and self-devotion gave to the enemy the opportunity to attack you, and he prepared for you this fatal incident that exploded before your eyes. If you had reasoned and expressed it as it really was, then it was precisely what saved you from death. After saying this, the old man who appeared quickly left the cell, and the monk bowed to him knee-deep and with this he woke up, feeling himself no longer on a grave, but humbly stretched at the doorstep. He immediately told this dream to the benefit of many soul-friends, including me.

In fact, God’s love for us, sinners, is truly unfathomable! Is it not strange that for such a small matter, for taking out coins from his pocket and putting them on his hand, and calling upon the Lord’s name once, a human being is given life? And on the scale of human destiny, one short moment of the Lord’s calling outweighed many hours of idle time… Truly, here the smallest offering is being given for gold… Do you see, brother, how powerful is prayer, and what a mighty name Jesus Christ is that we invoke! St. John the Carpenter, in his book “Dobrotulyubiye Pereklad-s-matyaşi-zmists-knygyya” (“Dobrotolubiye” [The Practice of Charity]) says that when we in the Jesus Prayer call upon the name of Jesus and say, “Have mercy on me, sinner,” a secret voice of God responds to each such request: “Child, your sins are forgiven for the hour.” Prayer, however, is no different from that of the saints, the righteous, and the martyrs, because, as St. Zlatoust says, “prayer, even if it is uttered by us, sinners, immediately purifies” (Sermon 2). God’s great mercy is upon us, and we, who are sinners and careless, do not want to give even a small hour to Him in thanksgiving and instead of the most important prayer, we spend our time on life’s worries and concerns, forgetting God and our duty! It is for this reason that we so often suffer misfortune and adversity, but this also determines for us, by God’s Most High wisdom, the time to realize and return to Him.He took a book from his pocket and began to read a wonderful story about a pious Agapofnik who, from his childhood, was accustomed by his pious parents to recite nightly the prayer “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus” and so on. He performed this every day. Then, reaching full age, he began to live on his own, being beset with cares and earthly concerns, and he rarely recited the prayer, and finally abandoned it altogether. One evening he received a traveler who told him that he was a hermit from Fivayda and had seen a vision to go to Agapofnik and rebuke him for abandoning the prayer to the Holy Mother of God. Agapofnik attributed the reason for his abandonment to the fact that he had been reciting this prayer for many years and had seen no benefit from it. Then the hermit said to him: “Remember, you blind and ungrateful, how many times has this prayer helped you and delivered you from evil? The neighbor who fell along with him from the cart broke his leg, and you suffered nothing. And listing many more things, he finally said to Agapofnik: “Know, ignorant one, that all these cases have been protected from me by the intercession of the Blessed Virgin, for the brief prayer with which you daily stirred your soul to union with God … Consider, continue this and never abandon it. ”

After that, I walked for five days, enjoying the memory of the stories I had heard from the pious merchant from White Church; then, as I was approaching Kiev, I suddenly felt some weight, relaxation, and gloomy thoughts; prayer was difficult, and I had some disorientation. So, in order to rest, seeing a forest and a thick bush on the side of the road, I went there to sit in a secluded corner and read The Philanthropist to strengthen my weary soul and calm my cowardice. Finding a quiet town, I began to read St. Cassian of Rome, in the fourth part of The Philanthropist, about the eight temptations. After reading for half an hour with joy, I suddenly saw, fifty yards off, deep in the forest, a man who was standing motionless on his knees. I was delighted at this, thinking that, of course, he was praying to God, and I began to read again. After reading for an hour or more, I looked at this man again, and he was still standing motionless on his knees. It became very touching to me, and I thought, “Look at these pious servants of God.” As I was thinking about this, the man suddenly fell to the ground, lying down humbly. This surprised me, and as I could not see his face because he was standing with his back turned to me, I immediately became curious to go and see who this person was. Approaching him, I found him in a deathlike state. It was a village boy, aged twenty-five, with a clean face and a noble figure, but pale in appearance, wearing a peasant coat, with a cord around his waist, and there was nothing else around him – no pouch, not even a stick. Hearing the rustle of my arrival, he woke up and stood up. I asked him who he was. He told me that he was an administrative villager from the Smolensk province, and that he was on his way from Kiev.

            – Now, don’t you see? – he replied: “since childhood, on my orphan’s account, I have been a shepherd in our village and for about ten years everything was fine. Finally, one day, after herding the flock home, I did not realize that our oldest sheep was missing. And our “bailiff” was a wicked and inhuman man. When he came home at night and saw that his sheep were not there, he came up to me, started scolding me and threatening that I should go and find his sheep, or he would “bump you to death, break your arms and legs.” Knowing that he was so angry, I went looking for the sheep to the places where the flock had been pastured during the day. I searched, searched, searched on into the night, but there was nowhere to be found. The night was so dark, because it was autumn. As I entered the depths of the forest, which is impassable in our province, a storm suddenly arose. It seemed as if the trees were all falling on top of each other! Wolves howled in the distance, and I was overcome with such fear that my hair stood up straight. The farther I went, the worse it became, and I almost fell from the fear and the fear. So I fell to my knees, crossed myself, and with all my might said: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” As soon as I said this, suddenly it became easy for me, as if there had been no sorrow, and all the fear passed away, and my heart felt so good, as if I had flown up to heaven… I rejoiced at this, but I continuously prayed this prayer. And I no longer remember how long the storm lasted and how the night passed, and I saw that it was already day, and I was standing in one place on my knees. When I got up, I saw that I could not find the sheep, so I went home, but my heart was all right and I wanted to keep on saying this prayer. As soon as I came into the village, the “bailiff”, seeing that I had not brought the sheep back, beat me to death; that’s when he dislocated my leg. So I lay almost motionless for six weeks after these beatings, only knowing that I was reciting the prayer, and it comforted me. Then I recovered a little, and began to wander through the world; but since it seemed to me boring to get pushed around among people without ceasing, and there was a lot of sin, I went traveling to holy places and forests. So I have been traveling now, a year after converting.

            Hearing this, I rejoiced in my soul that the Lord had allowed me to see such a grace-filled person, and I asked her: “So now you do this prayer often?”

            – Well, it’s impossible not to without it, – he replied, when he remembered once again how good it was in the forest, as if someone were pushing me to my knees, and I would pray… I don’t know if my sinful prayer is received, because, while praying, I sometimes feel a great joy and a clear light. I don’t know why, but every time I feel a great ease. The heaviness disappears; but at the same time I always want to pray till I die.

            Do not be troubled, dear brother: everything is acceptable to God, and everything is beneficial, whatever happens during prayer, say the Holy Fathers, whether it is ease or difficulty – everything is good; no prayer, no matter how good or bad, is wasted before God. Ease, warmth, and pleasure show that God rewards and consoles for this effort, and hardship, gloominess, and dryness mean that God purifies and strengthens the soul and saves it through this beneficial patience, preparing it with humility for the future blessing of grace. And here is proof of this: I will read to you from St. John the Ladder.

            I found this article here and read it to him. He listened with attention and pleasure, thanking me very much for it. We said goodbye. He went deep into the forest, and I, having come out on the road, continued my journey, thanks to God, who blessed me, the sinner, to receive such an instruction. The next day, with God’s help, I arrived in Kyiv. My first and main desire was to talk, to confess, and to receive the Holy Mysteries in this blessed place, and therefore I stayed near the God-fearing people to make it more convenient to go to the Church of God. A good old Cossack welcomed me into his house, and, as he lived alone, it was quiet and peaceful for me there. Throughout the week I was preparing myself for confession, it came to my mind to confess in the greatest detail possible. I began to recall and list all my sins from my youth, down to the very details, so as not to forget any of them; I began to write everything down to the smallest detail and wrote a large sheet. I felt that 7 verst from Kyiv, in the Kyïevska Forest, there is a priest living a life of asceticism and who is very wise and judicious – anyone who does not go to him in spirit comes to his senses with a feeling of compunction and returns with a saving admonition and lightness of heart. This very much comforted me, and I immediately went to him. After consulting and talking, I gave him my sheet to examine. Having read it, he said to me: “You have written a lot of empty words, my dear friend. Listen: 1) You must not mention those sins at confession in which you have previously repented and been forgiven and have not repeated them, otherwise it will be a lack of trust in the power of the sacrament of confession; 3) the Holy Fathers forbid to mention sins with all their corners, and to confess them in general, so as not to provoke temptations in both yourself and the priest by separating them in any way; you have read everything, but you left the most important out of view – you did not declare the weightiest sins, you did not realize and write down that you do not love God, you hate your neighbour, you do not believe the word of God, and you are filled with pride and ambition, and all the evils are contained in this pit of all sinfulness, and all the corruptions of our sins emanate from it.

            When I heard this, I was surprised and began to speak: “Have mercy, reverend father, how can I not love God, the Creator and our Preserver? I have nothing praiseworthy to boast about.

            – I am sorry, dear friend, that you have understood so little what I have been explaining to you. In order to teach you more quickly, here is a list, which I myself always confess to. Read it, and you will clearly see the exact proofs of what I have been saying to you right now.

             The priest gave me a list, and I began to read it.

Confession of the inner man, leading to humility

            “Looking closely at myself and observing the course of my inner state, I have thoroughly come to know that I do not love God, I have no love for my neighbor, I do not believe in anything religious, and I am full of pride and lust. All this I really find in myself by means of a detailed examination of my feelings and actions.

1) I do not love God. For if I loved Him, I would constantly think of Him with heartfelt pleasure; every thought about God would give me a pleasant satisfaction. On the contrary, I talk about earthly things far more often and with far more zeal than about God. If I loved Him, conversation with Him through prayer would sustain me, give me pleasure and incite me to constant communion with Him; but, on the contrary, I do not only do not enjoy prayer but, even while engaged in it, I feel labor, fight against reluctance, become complacent, and readily while engaged in something insubstantial push prayer to one side in order to keep my mind less occupied. In empty pursuits time passes me by unnoticed, but in those regarding God each hour seems like a year to me. Anyone who loves someone else constantly thinks about him, imagines him, and cares for him, and, in every occupation, his beloved is not far from his thoughts; but I hardly ever devote more than an hour to in-depth reflection on God and to igniting myself in His love; for the rest of the twenty-three hours I willingly offer ardent sacrifices to my passionate idols! I am dry, gloomy, and lazy. If I even accidentally fall into conversation about the divine, I hasten to switch to a conversation that delights my passions. I eagerly follow the latest news, consider political appointments and political events; I eagerly seek satisfaction of my curiosity in worldly sciences, arts, and acquisitions, and, although one could consider the instruction of the Word of God, knowledge of God, and religion, an unimportant matter, it makes no impression on my soul, and it gives me no spiritual nourishment. I consider this not only distractions from a Christian’s commitment but maybe even unimportant and only a time for recreation.
In short, if love of God is recognized by observing His commandments: “If ye love Me, keep My commandments,” says the Lord Jesus Christ, and I not only NEVER observe His commandments, but I hardly even try to do so, then I need to say as a matter of strictest truth that I do not love God. This is “proof that a person does not love God and His Christ, if not keeping His commandments” (Proverbs 3).
2) I have no love for my neighbor. For not only do I not dare to lay down my life for the good of my neighbor (according to the gospel), but even to sacrifice my honor, goods, and peace for his good. If I loved him according to the Gospel commandment, as myself, then his misfortune would affect me too, and his well-being would arouse my admiration. On the contrary, I listen more intently to sad stories about my neighbor, do not mourn, but am indifferent or, worse, find it somehow pleasant and do not cover with love the bad deeds of my brother, but rather pronounce them with condemnation. His prosperity, honor, and happiness do not excite me as my own, but rather, as something foreign, do not make me experience a pleasant feeling but, on the contrary, subtly arouse in me a feeling of either envy or disdain.3) I do not believe in anything religious. Neither in immortality, nor in the Gospel. If I were firmly convinced and unquestionably believed that there is an afterlife with recompense for earthly deeds, then I would constantly think about it; the very thought of immortality would terrify me, and I would treat this life like a stranger preparing to enter his homeland. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity and consider the end of this life as the limit of my existence. A secret thought nests in me: who knows what will happen after death? If I say I believe in immortality, then I say this only out of reason, and my heart is far from firmly believing in it. My actions and constant concern for the welfare of this sensual life openly testify to this. If the Holy Gospel, as the word of God, were truly accepted into my heart, I would constantly study it, enjoy it, and with deep reverence would look at it. The wisdom, goodness, and love hidden in it would inspire me with admiration, I would delight in the teachings of the Divine Law, day and night, feed on it as on daily food, and be fully carried away by the fulfillment of its precepts. Nothing earthly would be able to deflect me from this. On the contrary, if I occasionally read or listen to the word of God, I do so either out of curiosity or necessity, without paying much attention to it, and I feel dryness, unreligiosity, and, as if reading something mundane, I leave it without any fruit and am only too ready to replace it with reading about something more worldly.Reading these words spoken to me by the spiritual director during confession, I was appalled and thought to myself: “My God, what terrible sins are hidden in me, and I have not yet noticed them!” Hence, the desire to purify them led me to ask for instruction from this great spiritual father, whatever means to find a way to correct them, knowing the causes of all evils. So he began to explain to me.With respectful listening to all this, I humbly asked this holy father to baptize me and bless me with the Holy Mysteries. So, the next morning, having received communion, I wanted to return to Kiev with this gracious blessing, but this good father of mine, intending to go to the Lavra in a few days, left me for the time being in his deserted cell so that I could freely engage in prayer in this silence. Indeed, all those days I spent as if in heaven: with the prayers of my elder, I, a worthless person, enjoyed a perfect calm. The prayer flowed so easily and peacefully in my heart that at that time, it seems, I forgot about everything and myself, thinking only about the one Jesus Christ!So I wanted to leave from here and went out into the yard when, suddenly, I saw a person who looked like he was not Russian, lying in bed and reading a book, with the doors partially open. He beckoned me over and asked who I was. I told him. That’s when he began to say: “Listen, my dear friend, would you agree to help me, as a sick person, for even just a week until I recover with God’s help? Do not refuse, my servant of God!”l) If you want, he said, I will tell you (and somehow cited an authority, because he said that he had studied at the Academy of Athens) about the intonation of the Lord’s Prayer.

            Now look: one prayer and the same; Orthodox Christians hold the same religion; the general notion that this is the most important and highest of all prayers, contains two subjects – the Lord Jesus and His mercy, is equally known to everyone. Why then do not all express it in the same intonation, that is, in pronunciation? Why do not they all pronounce it in the same, but in a distinct place, particularly move the soul and reveal themselves in a particularly elevated and tense tone? Perhaps many will say that this is due to habit, or to an example taken from others, or to a concept that corresponds to each person’s different outlook, or, finally, to who is easier and more convenient to pronounce according to the state of his ability to say … And I am thinking quite differently. I would like to look for something higher here, something unknown, not only does it listen, but even to the one who is praying – there is no mysterious movement of the Holy Spirit here, that “groans unutterable”, in those who do not know: what to pray for? And if everyone prays in the name of Jesus Christ, in the Spirit of the Holy Spirit, according to the revelation of the Apostle, then the hidden-acting Spirit, “give prayer to the one who prays”, together with this, can give each person against his will and a grace of his own: one, holy fear of God, the other love and another fortitude. And therefore, he who has received a gift, venerated and glorifies the power of the Almighty, and in his prayer expresses with a special feeling and enthusiasm the word “Lord”, in which he has in mind the majesty and power of the Creator of the world. He who has received a mysterious outpouring of love in his heart, is predominantly touched and taken by the delight of the cry “Jesus Christ”, just as some old man could not even hear the word “Jesus” without any special feeling of love and sweetness, even in simple conversation. He who unshakeably believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten of the Father, is delighted and even more firmly in faith, when he utters the words “Son of God”. He who has firmly believed in the deity of Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten of the Father, is delighted and even more firmly in faith, when he utters the words “Son of God”. He who has received a gift of humility and is deeply aware of his own powerlessness when he says “forgive me”, repents, humbles himself and, with a prominent tension, is manifested in the last words of the prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Here is, I think, the reason for the difference in intonation in the pronunciation of the prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ! .. And from this observation one can understand (for the glory of God and for one’s own instruction) who is particularly touched by the feelings and who has a spiritual gift. Some people told me: “Why do not all these signs of the hidden spiritual gifts appear together, in a whole? Then not one but each word of prayer would be touched by a uniform and enthusiastic intonation of the one who is praying … I answered in this way: “For God’s grace distinguishes the gifts of the Precious Scriptures; so who can try this out and enter the domain of grace with a limited mind?”

Five days I spent with this elder, and he gradually became stronger in health. This time was instructive for me, and I did not notice how it flew by, for in this little hut, as if in a silent prison, we did not engage in anything else, but only prayed secretly, calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, or talking about only one topic, that is,Here I began to approach Pochayev. Not quite a hundred steps away, a soldier caught up with me. I asked him where he was going, and he told me that he was going home to the Kam’janets-Podilskyi province. In silence, after walking with him for ten verst, I noticed that he was sighing heavily, as if mourning for something, and was very gloomy. I asked him, “Why are you so sad?” And he began to cling to me and say, “Good man! If you have noticed my sorrow, then shake hands and swear that you will not tell anyone, and I will tell you everything about myself, because death is coming, and there is no one to talk to.”

He said: �Look, I was conscripted as a soldier among the peasant gentry. After serving for five years, I found it unbearably hard, and I was often beaten for indiscipline and drunkenness. I decided to run away. Now I have been on the run for seventeen years. For six years I hid and hid myself here and there; I broke down the bars of shops and sold the stolen goods to various swindlers; I met a soldier who was going home to a distant province with a clean discharge. My soldier died, and I continued with everything. After all, a man becomes sober and hires workers. After a while, I couldn’t do it, so I took my old grandmother’s horse and sold it for a half tithe to the slaughterhouse. Then I went into the forest to wait for midnight. When I lay down there, I fell asleep soundly. My head and hands were left outside. Then this diabolical cloud seemed to descend to the earth, and my old grandfather, who had died twenty years ago, stepped out of it. There were several bundles of things that I had stolen at different times. I was even more frightened. Tighten him!� Suddenly, the earth began to squeeze me so hard from all sides that I could not bear the pain, the confinement and the exhaustion, so I groaned and shouted: �Have mercy!� Tighten him even harder!� And I felt such a strong pain and confinement that no torture on this earth can compare with it. Finally, this old grandfather of mine brought the horse I stole yesterday to me, and he shouted: �What is this? Tighten him as painfully as possible!� And me, as he was being squeezed from all sides, I felt so much pain and oppression that I cannot tell you what it was like. It was as if they were pulling me out of my life and choking me with such a terrible pain that it was unbearable and I had to collapse without a trace, if this torture had lasted a little. It was a blow to my cheek, which I spread out. At that moment, with this blow, I woke up in a fright and, trembling with fright, got up and went home. The pain in my back was still there, and now there is a scar that wasn’t there before. I have often had nightmares, and finally I have become afraid of people and ashamed, as if everyone knew of my past deceit. And so, with patience running out, I wanted to hang myself. But the thought came that I would not have long to live anyway, and soon I would die, because all my strength had fled, so I decided to say goodbye to my homeland and die there. What should I do? My patience is not enough.� Upon hearing all this, I was surprised at myself and glorified God’s wisdom and grace, seeing how He converts sinners in various ways, and I began to say to him: �Brother!

– Empty-headed, brother! The devil puts these thoughts into your soul. God is infinitely merciful and has pity on sinners and forgives those who repent soon. After all, you know the Lord’s Prayer, that is, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Here is a prayer that you hear without interruption.

– How could I not know this prayer? I used to steal sometimes and sometimes said it to feel bolder.

– Well, now look: God didn’t change you when you were doing wrong and saying this prayer; and whether you will blow you away when you pray while repenting? Now you see that your thoughts are hostile!.. Believe me, if you say this prayer, no matter what thoughts cross your mind, soon you will experience relief, all your fears and burdens will pass, and you will be completely calm and a reverent person. I assure you of this, because I have seen many examples of this in practice.

At the same time, I told him several cases in which the Lord’s Prayer had a miraculous power over sinners. Finally, I began to persuade him to go with me to the Mother of God in Pochaiv, a refuge for sinners, to confess and receive Holy Communion. He listened to all this with attention and, as it was noticeable, with great pleasure. So he agreed to everything. We went to Pochaiv together on the condition that we would not talk to each other, but would do the Lord’s Prayer unceasingly. We walked like this in silence for a whole day. The next day he told me that he felt easier; perhaps he was also calmer than before. On the third day we arrived at Pochaiv, and I again assured him that the most holy name of Jesus is unendurable to enemies, and it can save him very well, and at the same time read to him the prayer from the “Book of Job,” especially with “exceptional care when we prepare ourselves for the Holy Mysteries of Our Lord Jesus Christ.” And he did so, and immediately confessed and communed. Although his evil thoughts still recurred, they were also quickly driven away by the Lord’s Prayer. On Sunday, to make it easier to get up in the morning, he went to bed earlier in the evening, and he kept on saying the Lord’s Prayer, and I sat in a corner, reading my “Book of Charity” with a lantern. An hour went by, and he fell asleep. But I got up, kept on praying, and another hour went by. Then he woke up and, with tears in his eyes, swiftly ran to me and said with great joy: “Oh, brother, what I see now! How easy and happy I am! I believe that God does not torment sinners, but has mercy on them. Praise you, Lord, praise you!”

I was surprised and cheered by this, and I asked him to tell me in detail what had happened to him. “And here is what happened: as soon as I fell asleep, I found myself on the same meadow where I was being tortured. I was at first scared, but I saw that instead of a cloud, the sun was shining, a miraculous light shone over the whole meadow, and I saw red flowers and grass. Suddenly, my grandfather, who was so beautiful that you could not see him, approached me and said very kindly and warmly, “Go to Zhytomyr to the church of St. George the Equal-to-the-Apostles; there they will take you as a church guard; live here for the rest of your life and pray constantly. God will have mercy on you!” After saying this, he made the sign of the cross on me and at that moment he disappeared. I felt such joy that it cannot be described; it was as though something had fallen from me and I had flown to heaven… With this, I suddenly woke up, feeling that I was light and that my heart did not know what to do with joy. So what should I do now? I am going to Zhytomyr right away, as my grandfather told me. I will go there easily with prayer!& nbsp; I was standing behind the church. Then a person came out, although not very well dressed, but looked like a nobleman, and asked me where candles were for sale. I pointed to them. The young woman went away, and I stayed to pray at the feet of the Mother of God. I prayed and went on my way. After walking around a bit on the street, I saw a window in a house that was open, and a gentleman was sitting under it, reading a book. I could not pass by this window, and I saw that it was the same person who had asked me about the candles in the church. I took off my hat as I passed by, and he invited me to himself and asked: “Are you a traveler?” and after inviting me, he asked who I was and where I was going; then he brought me tea and said: “Listen, my little fellow! I travel in the same direction and am walking there on the strength of a promise. benefit.”He liked this reasoning of his and his desire to pray, and I asked him: “From which particular evangelical teaching do you draw your teaching on prayer?” — From all four evangelists, he answered, in words from all of the New Testament, reading it in order. By reading this for a long time and studying it, I discovered the progressiveness and the proper order of the teaching on prayer throughout the entire Gospel, beginning with the first evangelist and going on in a proper sequence (system). For example: from the very beginning, the foundations of the teaching about prayer are set, then its form and external expression in words; then the conditions necessary for prayer; then the means of how to practice it and examples. Finally, the mysterious teaching about internal, spiritual, unceasing prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, presented as being higher and more beneficial than prayer of forms, is explained; then its necessity, its good fruits, etc. In short, a thorough and complete understanding of the practice of prayer is systematically elaborated from beginning to end in the Gospel.He willingly agreed and said to me: «Read your Gospel, look into it, and note what I will say» (he gave me a pencil). Please look at these notes of mine. «First of all, in the Gospel of Matthew, look at chapter six and read from the ninth verse to the ninth (Mt. VI, 5-9). Do you see here the preparation for prayer or the introduction that teaches that in order not to indulge in vanity and not to make a noise, but in a secluded place and in silence, it is necessary to begin the prayer and to pray only for the forgiveness of sins and for union with God, and not to invent many and unnecessary requests for various life needs? Then continue reading the same section from the ninth verse to the fourteenth (Mt. VI, 9-14). Here the formula of the prayer is presented, that is, in which words it should be pronounced. In it, wisdom is combined with all that is necessary and required for our life. Then continue reading verses 14 and 15 of the same section and you will see the condition to be observed in order for the prayer to be valid, because without forgiveness of those who offend us, God will not forgive our sins. Leaping into the seventh section, you will find from the seventh to the twelfth verse measures for success in prayer and approval in hope: «ask, seek, knock» – this emphatic expression represents the frequency of prayer and the predominance of practice in it, so that prayer not only accompanies all activities, but even exceeds them in time. This constitutes the main requirement of prayer. You will find an example of this in chapter 14 of the Gospel of Mark, from verse 32 to verse 40, where Jesus Christ himself repeats the same prayer formula many times. A similar example of the frequency of prayer is shown by the Gospel of Luke (Luke. Xl, 5-14) in the parable of the persistent prayer of a friend, as well as in the repeated obtrusive request of the widow to the judge (Luke. XVIII, 1-15), depicting Jesus Christ’s commands that one should always, at any rate, never be discouraged.After this fundamental teaching, the Gospel of John reveals an essential teaching of the secret internal prayer of the heart, first by offering the wise story of Jesus Christ’s conversation with the Samaritan woman, where the inner worship of God in spirit and truth, which the Lord desires, is disclosed in its continuity and purity. (John IV, 5-25). In the 15th chapter, from verse 4 to verse 8, the power, strength and necessity of internal prayer, i.e. the state of the soul in Christ, in the constant memory of God, are shown even more clearly. Finally, read in chapter 16 of the same evangelist, verses 23 to 25. See what a mystery is revealed! Do you see that prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or the so-called “Jesus Prayer”, that is, “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, repeated frequently and many times, has great power and opens the heart and sanctifies it more easily? This can be seen in the example of the apostles, who, although they had been disciples of the Lord Jesus for many years and had already been taught by Him the prayer of the Lord, that is, “Our Father”, known to us from them, but at the end of His earthly life, Jesus Christ revealed to them the mystery of what they still lacked in prayer to make their prayer decisive. He said to them: “Ask for nothing in My name. If you ask anything from the Father in My name, He will give it to you.” This was what happened to them, because after that, when the apostles learned to pray in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, they did wonderful miracles and enlightened themselves like the sun! Now do you see the connection and the completeness of the teaching on prayer, so wisely set out in the Holy Gospel? If you then proceed to reading and the epistles of the Apostles, you will also find a consistent teaching on prayer in them.

            Thus, by studying prayer long and carefully, one can discover many more profound and mysterious teachings hidden in the Word of God, which escape from a cursory or superficial reading of it. From what I have just pointed out, did you notice how thoroughly and systematically, that is, in a secret and systematic order, the New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ unfolds its teachings on this subject, which we have now traced? What an amazing sequence of consecutive steps is used by all four evangelists to set it out? For example, in St. Matthew we find the attack or the beginning of prayer, its form, conditions, etc.; proceeding further, in St. Mark we find examples; in St. Luke, parables, and in St. John, a mysterious exercise in interior prayer, though in all the evangelists (in brief or at length) all this is found. In Acts we find the practice and consequences of prayer; in the Apostolic Letters, as well as in the Apocalypse itself, many accessories are inextricably linked with the matter of prayer! That is why I am content with just one Gospel while studying all the paths of salvation.

            Throughout this time, as he pointed out and explained things to me, I noticed all the indexes in my Gospel, which I hold next to my Bible. All this seemed very wonderful and instructive, and I thanked him a great deal for it.

            Then we walked for another five days in silence. My companion’s legs were very sore, apparently from the unusualness of walking for long distances, and so he hired a coach and took me with him. Thus we reached your borders and stayed here for three days in order to rest and immediately set out for Anser, which he yearned to reach.

            That friend of yours is wonderful! He must be very learned because of his piety; I would like to see him.

            – We’re neighbours; I’ll bring him to you tomorrow. Now it’s late… forgive me.

Sixth Meeting

The merciful Lord, who wants all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, revealed this knowledge to me in a wonderful way, without any human mediation. For fifteen years I was a professor at the Lyceum, following the dark paths of promiscuity, being captivated by the noisy philosophy of the worldly way, not of Christ, and I might have died if I had not been supported by something I lived with my devout mother and my beloved sister, in the Boulevard. I met and became acquainted with a wonderful young man who proclaimed himself a French, an accredited student who had recently arrived from Paris and was looking for a place as a tutor. I was very pleased with his wonderful education, and I invited him to my house as a visiting person, and we became friends. For two months he frequently visited me, and we often took walks together, talked, and went out in society, of course, the most moral ones. Finally, he came to me with an invitation to one of the societies mentioned earlier and, in order to persuade me, began to praise the special liveliness and pleasantness of the place where he was inviting me. After saying a few words about this, he suddenly began to ask me to leave my study, where we were sitting, and to sit in the drawing room. This seemed strange to me, and I, having already noticed on several occasions his reluctance to be in my study, asked him: What is the reason for this? And he kept me here even longer, because the drawing room was near my mother’s and sister’s rooms, and it would have been inappropriate to talk about vain things in the presence of them. He kept insisting on his desire in various ways, and finally he said to me quite frankly: “Here, on this shelf between the books, there is an Evangeliary. I have such great respect for this book that it is hard for me to be in the presence of this conversation about our scattered subjects. Please take it away from here, and then we will be able to.” I, out of my sincerity, smiled at his words and said: “You should have told me this a long time ago!” And handing it to him, I said: “Put it in that room right away!” As soon as I touched the Gospels, he suddenly blushed and disappeared. This shocked me so much that I fell unconscious on the floor. When the servants heard the noise, they rushed in and for half an hour could not bring me to my senses. Finally, I felt a great fear, trembling, nervous excitement, and complete numbness of my hands and feet, so that I could not move them. Called by the doctor, he diagnosed the disease as paralysis, due to some strong shock or fright. For a whole year after this event, with careful treatment from many doctors, I lay there and received no relief from the disease, which later indicated the need to retire from the teaching service. My old mother had died at that time, and my sister had decided to devote herself to monastic life. Therefore, all this only burdened my illness even more. The only consolation I had in this painful time was in reading the Gospels, which from the beginning of my illness did not leave my hands, as a guarantee of a miraculous event with me.

            One day, a strange hermit (a traveler who takes a vow of poverty and goes on pilgrimages) unexpectedly came to me. He convinced me not to rely exclusively on medicines, which cannot help without the help of God, but to ask God for help and pray diligently for this purpose, for prayer is the most powerful remedy for all diseases, both bodily and mental. “How can I pray in this state when I am not able to bow down or raise my hands for the sign of the Cross? ” I objected to him. He said to me, “Pray anyway!” And he could not explain to me in detail how to pray. After the visitor left, I began to think about prayer and its power and effect, recalling the theological lessons I had heard at the school when I was a student. It was very comforting for me, it brought back spiritual knowledge that I had forgotten, and it warmed my soul. At the same time, I began to feel some relief from my painful attacks. Since the Bible was always with me, I believed in it by faith, and because of this miracle, and also because I remembered that I had learned all the passages on prayer in the lectures, based on the texts of the Gospels, I considered it the best to learn Christian prayer and piety. By reading this, I drew from it, like an abundant source, a complete system of saving life and true internal prayer. With awe, noticing all the places and texts on this subject, I have since been trying to learn these divine precepts and to put them into practice as best I can, although it is difficult. In the course of my study, my illness gradually eased, and, as you can see, I have fully recovered. Having remained alone, I, in gratitude to God for His fatherly mercies and healing and enlightenment, have decided, following the example of my sister and the urge of my heart, to dedicate myself to the monastic life, in order to accept and absorb the sweet provisions of the eternal life that have been revealed to me in the Word.

       C Counselor.  – With such obligatory assurance of special and strange divine mercy and with your scientific enlightenment, it is unforgivable not only to fall into sadness, but even to allow the slightest shadow of doubt about God’s intercession and his help to enter your soul! Do you know what the God-loving Zlatoust says about this? “No one should grieve (he admonishes) and presume that the commandments of the Gospel are impossible or inconvenient! God, determin-ing man’s salvation, of course, did not establish these commandments in order to make him a sinner by the inconvenience of them. No! Perpetuity” (Ibid., 170).

            It is, of course, extremely difficult for our nature to perform God’s prescripts regularly and consistently, and thus salvation is inconvenient: but the same word of God that established the commandments hides in it not only the means of their convenient fulfillment, but even the joy of such fulfillment. If this is veiled in mystery at first glance, then, of course, this is to bring the practitioner into greater humility and to bring him closer to union with God through the direct refuge to Him in prayer and the request for His paternal help. This is the secret of salvation, not trusting one’s own efforts.

       Builder.  – How I would like to know this secret, the powerless and helpless one, so that through it, as through a means, to some extent correct my careless life for God’s glory and my salvation!

       C Counselor.  – This secret is known to you, dear brother, from your book Charity. It consists in unceasing prayer, which you have so firmly studied and which you have so diligently exercised and enjoyed.

       Builder.  – I fall at your feet, venerable father! By God’s will, grant me from your mouth to hear a useful secret about this saving secret and about the sacred prayer which I most desire to hear and love to read as a support and comfort for my sinful soul.

       C Counselor.  – Although I cannot satisfy your desire with my own reflections on this high occupation, because I am still a beginner in this matter, I have a very understandable notebook of a spiritual writer about this very subject. If our interlocutors wish, then I can bring it at once and, if you wish, I can read it to you. Thank you!

       ALL.  – Do us the favor, Venerable Father! Do not deprive us of such a life-saving knowledge.

The Secret of Salvation through Constant Prayer

This is a pious Christian question that naturally arises in everyone, as a result of the sense of a corrupted and weakened human nature and the remnant of our original desire for truth and righteousness. Everyone, even if he has some faith in immortality and the reward of eternal life, inevitably encounters the idea of how to be saved, when he turns his gaze to heaven… Struggling to solve this task, he asks reasonable and knowledgeable people about it, then reads, on their recommendations, the books written by spiritual writers on this subject, full of revealed truths and rules. In all of these exhortations, he encounters the conditions that are ostensibly necessary for salvation: a godly life, ascetic practices and efforts to achieve complete self-sacrifice, which leads to the creation of good deeds, to the constant fulfillment of all of God’s commandments, which testify to the firmness and steadfastness of the faith. And these should be done with deep humility and in unity, because as all virtues depend on each other, they must sustain each other, improve each other, and inspire each other, just as the rays of the sun only show their strength and make fire if they focus through the glass in one point. And otherwise, “The wicked man makes many sins” (Ecl 1:10).

            Moreover, in order to add to one’s conviction of the necessity of this complex and syncretic activity, he hears the high praise of the refinement of virtues and the condemnation of vices as base and ugly. All of this is reflected in a false promise of great rewards and bliss, or in painful punishment and sufferings in eternal life.

            Such is the character of the preaching of the modern age! 

The aspiring salvific person thus eagerly begins to follow the instructions and addendum to the studies of all that is heard and read. But, alas! on the first step of his endeavor he finds no opportunity to achieve his goal, foreseeing and even feeling that his corrupted and weakened nature will prevail over the reasons of reason; that his free volition is tied, inclination weakened, and the power of the spirit exhausted. With such experienced self-awareness of his powerlessness, he naturally moves to the idea that there are no means that promote the fulfillment of what the law of God commands, what Christian piety demands, and what have been fulfilled by all those who have been honored to receive salvation and holiness. As a result, in order to reconcile the demands of reason and conscience with the incapacity of coercive forces, he turns to the preachers of salvation with the question: how can we be saved? How can we justify the conditions of salvation that are inaccessible to us? And can the one who preaches unfailingly fulfill everything he preaches? “

“Ask God, pray to God, and He will help you!” It would be more fruitful, had it not always been the case that, first of all, one should teach prayer as the cause of fulfilling all that Christian piety requires and that is the source of salvation. The questioner concludes this and, along with it, begins to study prayer, reads, reflects, understands the teaching of those who have written on this subject. Indeed, he finds in them many bright thoughts, deep knowledge, and expressions. One thinks well about the necessity of prayer; another – about its power, benevolence, about the obligation to pray, about the fact that attention, warmth of spirit, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and other things are required in prayer…

And what is prayer in itself and how to pray properly? Since it is very difficult to find thorough and comprehensible explanations for these, though the first and most necessary questions, the zealous aspirant to prayer is again left under the veil of mystery. From the general reading, only the outward aspect of prayer takes root in his memory, and he comes to the conclusion, or conclusion, that in order to pray, one must go to church, be baptized, bow, kneel, recite the Psalter, canons, akathists, etc.

This is a general concept of prayer for someone who is unfamiliar with the writings on inner prayer and the contemplative works of the Holy Fathers. Finally, the seeker comes across a book called The Love of Goodness, in which twenty-nine Holy Fathers have clearly explained the doctrine of true and essential heart prayer. Here the mystery of salvation and prayer begins to lift its veil for him, and he sees that to truly pray means to direct the mind and memory to an unceasing remembrance of God, to walk in His divine presence, to open oneself to His love through prayer, and to unite the name of God with the breath and movement of the heart, the guidance of Jesus Christ, or the creation of Jesus’ prayer at any time and place and in every occupation non-stop.

            Although these bright truths, having illuminated the seeker’s understanding and opened up before him a path to the study and attainment of prayer, and convinced him to immediately begin to follow these wise instructions, nevertheless, when testing out these things in periods of practice, he will not remain without difficulties until an experienced guide has fully revealed to him the secret that it is only frequentness or continuity of prayer (however it may be pronounced at first) that is the only powerful means for the perfection of inner prayer and the salvation of the soul. Part of prayer is the basis or foundation that supports the whole range of saving activity, as confirmed by St. Simeon the Theologian: “He who constantly prays, by his prayer alone has perfected everything.”

            Therefore, in order to present the truth of this revelation in full, the guide develops it in the following image:

            For the salvation of the soul, first of all, true faith is required. The Holy Scripture says: Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews XI, 6). 

            But from the same Holy Scripture it follows that a person cannot on his own generate faith in himself, even on a mustard seed; that faith is not of us, because it is a gift of God; that faith, as a spiritual gift, is given by the Holy Spirit. 

            What, then, is to be done? How to reconcile the need of a person for faith with the impossibility of generating it from the side of a person? In the same Holy Scripture a remedy and examples are revealed for this: Ask and it shall be given you. The Apostles could not generate perfection of faith in themselves on their own, but they prayed to Jesus Christ: Lord, give us faith. This is an example of the acquisition of faith. From this it follows that faith is acquired through prayer.

For the salvation of one’s soul, true faith requires good deeds – virtues, because “faith without works is dead,” because people are judged by their deeds, not by their faith alone, and “if you want to enter the kingdom, keep the commandments: if you do not kill, you will not commit adultery, if you do not love your neighbour, you will love your true neighbour, for yourself.” All these commandments must be observed together. “If one man fails to keep the law, the whole body is guilty” – such is the teaching of St. James the Apostle. St. Paul, speaking of man’s weakness, says that “no flesh can be justified by the deeds of the law.” He explains the reason: “I know the law is spiritual; but I am flesh and blood – sold to sin. I have no power to justify myself before the law.” He can do this only if he prays for it, if he constantly prays for it. “For you will not receive anything unless you ask,” St. Paul explains the reason. And Jesus Christ Himself says: “without Me you can do nothing.” He explains how to behave with Him: “if you stay in Me, I will stay in you.” “If anyone stays in Me, he will bring forth much fruit.” To stay in Him means always to feel His presence, always to ask Him for help: “whatever you ask in my name, I will do.” Thus, the ability to perform good deeds is acquired through prayer! The example of this is to be seen in St. Paul himself, who prayed three times for the victory over temptations, worshipping before God the Father, hoping that He would give assurance within his own soul, and finally, he instructed all to first “pray,” and then to pray incessantly for everything. From all the above, it follows that all a person’s spiritual salvation depends on prayer, and therefore it is first of all necessary, because it revives faith, and through it all virtues are accomplished. In short, with prayer, everything will succeed, and without it, no matter how much Christian virtue is done.

A real prayer requires certain conditions: it must be offered in purity of thought and heart, with great effort, with full attention, with trembling reverence, and with deep humility. But who in a conscientious awareness would not admit that he is far from the conditions for a true prayer, that he sends his prayer more out of necessity, more out of self-imposition than out of a desire for prayer, out of the enjoyment of prayer, out of love for prayer? The Holy Scripture bears witness to this, that a person is unable to keep himself from impure thoughts or to completely cleanse his mind: “Does a human being intend evil from youth?” the only God gives us a new heart and a new spirit, “what is desire, and that children are of God.” And the Apostle Paul himself says: “My spirit (that is, my voice) prays, but my reasoning is fruitless.” And “we do not know how to pray” – he confirms this. It follows that we cannot manifest the essential properties of our prayer!

What is then left for each person, which is possible by his will and power for the salvation of his soul? He cannot acquire faith without prayer, nor can he do good deeds; finally, he is unable to pray truly. What then is left for his share, which is presented by his will and power, lest he perish but be saved?

Since there is a quality in everything, the Lord has presented this quality through His will and grace. And in order to make clearer the dependence of man on the will of God and to immerse him more deeply into humility, God has left the human will and powers with a certain number of prayers, commanding them to pray unceasingly at any time, in any place. And in this way a mysterious way is revealed to achieve true prayer, along with faith, the fulfillment of commandments, and salvation. So, a certain number has been given to man. Some of the prayer is given to his will.

The Holy Fathers Calist and Ignatius advise first of all to begin the works of virtue and piety by praying frequently, without interruption, because often even impure prayer leads to purity. Blessed Diodorus affirms that if a person prays frequently, he will not fall into sins. What practical instructions of the Fathers are these! They shed light on the means of purifying the soul with unfailing simplicity. How they contrast with the moral prescriptions of theoretical reason! Reason tells us: do this and that well, equip yourself with courage, enlist the strength of will, be convinced of the good results of virtue, for example, by cleansing the mind and heart of frivolous dreams, filling the space with instructive reflections, doing good and being honored and at peace, living as required by reason and so on. And all this, despite all these efforts, cannot accomplish its purpose without frequent prayer and the help of God. Now let us reveal the instructions of the Fathers and see how they advise, for example, on the purification of the soul. St. Lisanthus writes: “When the soul is darkened by unclean thoughts, overcome your adversaries by the name of Jesus, repeating it frequently. From heaven or earth you will not find a more effective and more powerful weapon.” St. advises: “Know that no one can keep his soul in control alone, and therefore, in the presence of unclean thoughts, call upon the name of Jesus Christ more frequently and many times, and the thoughts will silence themselves.” What a simple and convenient, but experienced way, and the opposite of the advice of theoretical reason, which seeks to achieve purity by its own activity! Having understood these experienced instructions of the Holy Fathers, we come to the true conclusion that the main, the only, and most convenient way of acquiring works of salvation and spiritual perfection is through a part, an uninterrupted, and therefore continuous part of prayer, regardless of its powerlessness.

            Christian soul! If you do not find within yourself the strength to worship God in spirit and in truth; if your heart has not yet felt the warmth and sweetness of intellectual and interior prayer, then offer in your prayer sacrifice that which you can, that is within your power, that is proportionate to your strength. Let your lower limbs be as fervent as your upper ones in unceasing prayer, let them constantly call upon the mighty name of Jesus Christ. This does not constitute a great effort and is within everyone’s reach. At the same time, this is what the experienced commandment of the holy Apostle requires: “Offer to God a sacrifice of praise, either of lips, speaking of his name.” The part of prayer will inevitably become habit and will be transformed into nature, drawing the mind and heart into the proper state of mind over time. Imagine that if a person had impermissibly fulfilled this one commandment of God, reciting unceasing prayer, secretly calling upon the divine name of Jesus Christ, even if only with the soul, he would then have had no time for sinful pleasures. Every wicked thought would have found a barrier in its spread, and every sinful act would have been less fanciful and redeemed by the gracious power of God’s name. Regular exercise in prayer would often have distracted the soul from sinful deeds and would have drawn it to a meaningful knowledge – to union with God! Now you see how important and necessary quantity is in prayer. Part in prayer is the only way to acquire pure and genuine prayer, it is the best and most effective preparation for prayer and the surest path to the goal of prayer and salvation!

            A spiritual writer says this beautifully. He says: “I know that for many egotistical, shallow philosophers who are looking everywhere for false greatness and nobly-pretended virtues before the eyes of reason and pride, simple, oral, and individual, but frequent, prayerful exercise appears to be an insignificant or slight occupation, or a base occupation. They forget the instructions of Jesus Christ: ‘Unless you are like children, you will not enter the kingdom of God.’⁵¹ They draw up some science for prayer on the subtle foundations of natural reason.<em> Don’t such frequent prayers extol the Divine Master Himself? It is half the world– there is no need for it! All that is needed is to continue it, not to break off, and be careless of it: it is pure in itself.</em>

PROFESSOR. – And I have listened to your lecture with great respect and pleasure, Reverend Father! All the arguments are, by the strictest logic, true for me; but at the same time, it seems to me, that the possibility of uninterrupted prayer is primarily conditioned by favourable circumstances and complete solitude. For it is true that frequent or unceasing prayer is a powerful and unique means of obtaining the grace of help in all the labours of piety and the sanctification of the soul, and it is accessible to human powers, but this method can only be used when a person enjoys the possibility of solitude and tranquillity: in being freed from duties, concerns and engagements; in this case, he has only one battle to fight – either against laziness or the boredom of the mind; but if he is bound to his occupation, bound to unceasing affairs, is permanently in a crowded society of people, and would like to pray frequently, then he is unable to do so because of inevitable distraction. Consequently, the only way of frequent prayer under favourable circumstances is not available to everyone and does not belong to everyone.(SCHEMATIC DRAWING). – It is in vain that you arrange it like this! Not to mention how the heart, trained in interior prayer, can always, in all occupations (both physical and mental), in any noise, pray unobstructedly and invoke the Divine name (the teacher knows this himself, and the ignorant needs to be gradually trained to do this), it can confidently be said that no place can pray. because man’s secret thought is not subject to any external bondage, and is completely free in itself, it can be felt and turned into prayer at any time, even language can secretly express prayer without an external sound in the presence of many, and in external occupations; and even our activities are not so important, and our conversations are not so interesting, that we cannot find a convenience, with them, to temporarily and often invoke the name of Jesus Christ, even if the mind is not yet trained to continuous prayer; although, of course, solitude and the dispersion of objects are the main condition for attentive and unceasing prayer; however, if it is not possible to take advantage of this, one should not excuse oneself for the poverty of prayer: since the amount of occasions available to each person, both healthy and sick, depends on his will. The examples in proof of this are those who were burdened with obligations, occupying positions, worries, chores and work, not only always invoked the Divine name of Jesus Christ, but even through this, they learned and attained continuous interior prayer of the heart. Thus, Patriarch Photius, who was elevated to the patriarchate from among the senators, while administering the great Constantinopolitan flock, was constantly in the calling of the Divine name, and even through this he attained spontaneous, heartfelt prayer. Thus, Calistus on Mount Athos, while going through the burdensome service of a cook, learned continuous prayer. Thus, the simple-hearted Lazarus, burdened with constant works for the brotherhood, constantly uttered the Lord’s prayer and was comforted, amidst all the noisy occupations. And many others, who similarly practiced continuous prayer of the name of God. If it were impossible to pray during distracting occupations, or in the company of people, then, of course, it would not be commanded that which is impossible. St. John Chrysostom, in his homily on prayer, says the following: “No one should imagine that it is impossible to always pray to God, busy with life’s concerns, or that one cannot be in the temple. Everywhere where you are, you can set up an altar to God in your mind through prayer.” One can pray anywhere. And indeed, if a person pays close attention to himself, he will find a convenience for prayer everywhere, only ensuring that prayer should be the main occupation before all his responsibilities. Multi-spoken; do not rush about in chores so as to gain more time for quiet prayer through all this. opportunities and human will are presented, and that it is possible and convenient to pray at any time, condition and place, and to move from frequent oral prayer to reasonable prayer, and from this to heartfelt prayer, which opens the kingdom of God within us.

      PROFESSOR. – I agree that in all mechanical occupations it is possible, and even convenient, to carry out frequent, or even continuous, prayer, because mechanical needlework does not require intense concentration and much thought, and therefore my mind can be simultaneously engaged in unceasing prayer and my lips can follow the same pattern. But when I have to engage in something purely intellectual, of course: attentive reading, or elaborating a profound subject, or a work, how can I at the same time pray with my mind and lips? And since prayer is primarily a matter of the mind, how can I give different tasks to one mind at the same time?

      SCHIMNIC. – It will not be difficult to solve this question of yours if we take into consideration how prayers are divided into three categories: 1) beginners, 2) those who can do it and 3) those who have mastered the art of prayer. Accordingly, beginners can have frequent and regular mental arousal of the mind and heart to God, and pronounce a short verbal prayer; those who are proficient or who have become constantly oriented to prayer can engage in meditation or composition in the continual presence of God as the basis of prayer. This may be illustrated by an example. Imagine that a rigorous and exacting King has ordered you to produce a reflection on a deep subject given to you – in his presence – at the foot of his throne; no matter how busy you are with your subject, the presence of the King, in whose hand is your life, overtaking you, will not allow you to forget for a moment that you are reflecting, understanding and composing not alone, but in a place that requires special reverence, respect and propriety. This feeling and a vivid sense of the King’s proximity very clearly expresses the possibility of engaging in continuous inner prayer and in mental exercises.

            As for those who, by long practice or by the grace of God, have acquired heart prayer in place of intellectual prayer, such persons not only in deep intellectual occupation, but even in their sleep do not stop praying, which the Wise Man tells us: “As I sleep, my heart is awaking,” and God Himself, who wakes himself up to prayer, draws the mind and the whole soul into a continuous flow of prayer, in which state he who prays was not, and whatever he was busy with, whether abstract or intellectual.

P Fidelis. Allow me, Reverend Father, to express my opinions in my turn. In the article you have read, it is expressed perfectly that the only way to salvation and perfection is to be part of prayer – whatever it may be… For me, this is incomprehensible, and therefore it seems to me that what benefit will there be if I continue to pray and call out only in the language of Im’ayah, but not by it? This will be nothing but idle talk! As a result, the language is strained, and the mind that prevents this in its reflections also suffers damage to its ability to function. God does not demand words, but an attentive mind and a purified heart. Is it not better, even if only occasionally, or only at the fixed time, to perform even a short prayer, but with attention, with diligence, with warmth of heart, and with a worthy understanding? Otherwise, even if you recite prayers day and night, but do not have purity of heart and deeds of piety, then you will not obtain anything saving; but remaining with only an external babbling, and finally becoming tired and bored, you will come to the conclusion that, having completely cooled your faith in prayer, you completely reject this fruitless exercise. Further, the wastefulness of one oral prayer can be seen in the revelations presented in the Holy Scriptures; for example: “These people worship Me with their mouths, but their hearts are far away from Me,” “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,” “I want to say many words with my mind rather than darkness in words,” and so on. All this expresses the fruitlessness of external careless oral prayer.

      CONCLUSION. – The conclusion you draw might have some foundation, if it were not combined with the advice of oral prayer, persistence or continuity; if the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ did not have an inherent power, and did not receive attention and diligence through the gradual practice of prayer… But since this concerns the frequency, duration, and persistence of prayer (even though it is accompanied by a primary inattention or dryness), let us examine this more closely. A spiritual writer, in convincing us of the greatest benefit and fruitfulness of frequent prayer expressed in monotonous words, concludes by saying: “Though many ignoramuses consider this to be a wasteful and even trivial “machine-like” creation of the same prayer, calling it mechanical and absurd, they do not know how this verbal, but frequent, murmur becomes a real cry of the heart, deepens into the essence, becomes more pleasant, becomes like a natural, psychological illumination for the soul, and leads to union. For those we intended to teach the alphabet and reading; the secret of that arid assertion of letters was for them to purify the soul, first purifying the body: by imposing restraint on yourself, you deprive your body of nourishing and irritating food; be pious, so conveniently forgotten by you… And you experience experientially that, through the external fast of your body, you acquire an inward refinement of mind, calm of heart, a weapon to conquer passions, and a reminder of spiritual practice. And thus, through the medium of external matter, you acquire an internal spiritual benefit. Prayer, which, by its long-term development, develops the inner prayer of the heart: it kindles and promotes intellectual union with God. What often happens is that anyone who has dared to continuously invoke the name of Jesus Christ, or, what is the same, to constantly utter the prayer of Jesus, naturally feels the work and struggles with leniencies, but the further and more one practices this, the more insensitive one becomes to this occupation, so that later, imperceptibly, so that later, without effort, without a voice, these lips move and pronounce the prayer unshakably. It is advisable to bend the mind and to listen to this involuntary action of the lips, being thus aroused to attention, which is, ultimately, the source of the sweetness of heart and true prayer. The circumstances you mention in support of your objections are the result of a proper consideration of them. They did not accept it with their hearts. This does not apply to the reading of prayer, about which Jesus Christ explicitly and positively, or certainly, commanded: “It is good to pray always and not be silent” (in the same way He does not complain). Or in a meaningless, or unfamiliar language in church, understanding this to be public teaching, and not prayer proper, about which He says expressly: “I want them to do prayer in every place” (I want them to do it constantly).

      BUILDER. Yes, indeed, an honest father! I have seen many who, without any educational influence, and not knowing that there is attention, spontaneously uttered a continuous prayer to Jesus, and, in spite of their lips and tongues, reached a point at which their mouths and tongues could not restrain themselves from expressing a prayer that later on so delighted and enlightened them, and made them weak and slow of mind.

      SCHEMER. Yes! Prayer seems to transform a person. Its power is so powerful that no force of passion can stand against it. If you wish, let me read you, brethren, a short but interesting article that I have taken with me.

      ALL. We will listen with reverential pleasure!

      SCHEMER.

Testimony of the power and effect of prayer

            Prayer is so powerful and mighty that you can pray and do whatever you want and prayer will bring you to the right and righteous action.

            For godliness, nothing is needed except love, says the Blessed Augustine: for he who truly loves, he cannot do anything that is disagreeable to his beloved…. So since prayer is the outpouring and action of love, we can truly say the same thing about it: do whatever you want and you will achieve the goal of prayer, and thereby acquire sanctification!

            In order to develop this concept more thoroughly, we will illustrate it with examples:

1) Pray, and all the thoughts you want, and your thought will be purified by prayer. Prayer will give you the illumination of the mind, calm and dispel all improper thoughts. This is what St. Gregory of Sinai says: “If you want to drive away thoughts and purify your mind, drive them away with prayer, for, except for prayer, you will not find any other way to keep thoughts under control.” This is also said by St. John the Ladder: “With the Name of Jesus, you can defeat your imaginary enemies, and you will not find any other weapon.”

            2) Pray, and do whatever you want, and your actions will be godly, and beneficial and saving for you.

Regular prayer, no matter what, will not go without fruit (Mark the Holy One), because the prayer itself is full of grace. “The holy name of Him whom every man who calls upon Jesus Christ will be saved.” For example, someone who had prayed without success in a godless way in this prayer, received a vision and a call to repentance. A lustful girl prayed when she was converted, and the prayer showed her the way to a chaste life and to listening to Jesus Christ’s admonitions.

            3) Pray and do not work too hard to overcome your passions. Prayer destroys them in you: “Which of you will have earthly trouble will have that much.”, the scriptures say. And St. John of Karpasio teaches that if you do not have the gift of temperance, do not grieve; but know that God requires you to take pains to pray, and prayer will save you.

            The elderly man described in the Homily who “won over the victories of the forces of evil,” that is, who, after having committed a sin, did not mourn but turned to prayer and used it as a wise person, serves as a telling example of this.

            4) Pray and be not afraid of anything, be not afraid of poverty, of adversity; prayer will protect, turn them away. Remember the drowned skeptic Peter; Paul praying in prison; the monk who was saved by prayer from temptation that befall him; the girl who was saved from an evil soldier through prayer, and similar cases. These confirm the strength, power, and omnipotence of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

5) Pray, however, always, and do not be ashamed of anything; be spiritually cheerful and peaceful: prayer will regulate everything and teach you. Remember that the saints, John the Theologian and Mark the Holy One, testify about the power of prayer: the first states that “even a prayer offered by us, full of sin, immediately purifies us,” etc., and the second says this: “In our power, prayer is doing something. To pray, however, purely, is a gift of grace.” Therefore, that which is within your power, offer first to God, having sacrificed the quantity thereto, and God’s power descends upon your feeble power; and a dry and scattered prayer, but most often, having acquired a habit, and having turned to nature, becomes a pure, light, glowing and genuine prayer.

            6) Finally, if the time of your waking were accompanied by prayer, it would not be possible to have time, not only for sinful pursuits, but even for idle thoughts about them.

          Now you can see how profound the thoughts concentrated in this wise saying are: “Love, and do what you would. Pray, and do what you would!” How joyful and beautiful it is for a sinner, burdened with weaknesses, for one who is weighed down by struggling passions!”

          Prayer is, dear sir, the all-encompassing means for salvation and perfection of the soul …. Yes, but with the name of prayer is closely linked here its condition: “Pray without ceasing, ” the Word of God commands. Therefore, prayer will then show its all-powerful strength and fruitfulness when it is carried out frequently, constantly, because constantly performing prayer undeniably belongs to our will: just as purity, diligence, and perfection of prayer are gifts of grace.

          Therefore, we will pray as often as possible, we will devote our whole life to prayer, even if we are initially neglectful! Frequent practice will train our attention, and the quantity will inevitably lead to quality.

      Speaking about the importance of prayer, an experienced spiritual writer said, “In order to learn to do something good, you need to do it as often as possible.”

      THE PROFESSOR. Prayer is truly a great thing! And devotion to its frequency is the key to opening its beneficial treasures. But how often I encounter in myself the struggle between zeal and negligence! How I would like to find a way and help to win, and to persuade and incur a constant devotion to prayer!

      THE SHYMNEK. Many spiritual writers have different means based on a healthy understanding – to encourage diligence in prayer: for example,

            1) It is advised to delve into reflections on the necessity, advantage, and fruitfulness of prayer for the salvation of the soul.

            2) Firmly convince oneself that God unquestionably demands prayers of us, and His Word everywhere preaches this.

            3) Constantly remember that through negligence and indolence concerning prayer, one cannot keep up with the tasks of piety and acquire peace and salvation; and therefore one must inevitably suffer both this as a punishment on earth and torment in eternal life.

            4) Endure one’s determination with the examples of God’s benefactors who all achieved sanctification and salvation through unceasing prayer, and so on.

            Although all these remedies have their own merits and flow from a true understanding, yet an ill-conditioned and lustful soul, accepting and taking them, rarely sees their fruitfulness because these medicines are bitter to its pampered taste and weak for its deeply injured nature. For some Christians do not know that prayer is to be performed frequently and diligently, as God requires; that for idleness in prayer, we shall suffer punishment; that all the saints diligently and unceasingly prayed; however, this knowledge rarely has its beneficial result! Each observer sees in himself that he either does little or does not justify the actions of these impressions of mind and conscience, and at frequent recollection of this he lives just as badly and idly as well. Therefore, the experienced and godly Fathers, knowing the weakness of fickle passions and the gluttonous debauchery of the human heart, act on it especially, and from this side, like physicians, season the bitter medicines with sweet syrups and consolations, opening the easiest and most genuine remedy by the help of God – to attain perfection and the sweet hope of loving prayer. They advise us to reflect on this state of the soul as often as possible, and to read carefully the Father’s narratives, which encourage us, as they say, how accessible and easy it is to achieve these sweet inner feelings in prayer; and how desirable these are, namely: pleasures arising from the heart; soothing warmth and light pouring out within; indescribable enthusiasm, joy, ease, deep peace, and the essential bliss and self-satisfaction of life, imparted by the action of prayer in the heart. By deepening in these reflections, the weak and cold soul is warmed, strengthened, and encouraged to pray, and is as it were lured into the experiences of prayer practice, as St. Isaac the Syrian says: “The bait for the soul is joy that is generated by hope, blossoming in the heart; and he continues: “From the beginning of this action and to the end, a certain method and hope of doing are provided; and this is what persuades the mind to place the foundation of the matter in the heart, and to borrow the mind for its own comfort in the causes of prayer.” Also, the Monk Isaac, describing the failure of carelessness to prayer and the formation of perseverance in resuming diligence to it at the end, says plainly this: “Then it is not for anything else that we are willing to do in the silence of our hearts as for the sweetness of its feelings and joy” (a).

            From this follows that the encouragement to meditate on prayer is what this Father thus “sweetfeeling and joy” of it. In just the same way, the Great Macarius teaches, “that our spiritual labors (prayer) with diligence and hope are fruitful, i.e. with joy in our hearts.”

The clearest example of this way as a powerful means can be seen in many places in the detailed descriptions of prayer experiences; they are often read as a struggle against the boredom or dryness of prayer, considering oneself unduly unworthy of such experiences and humbly chastising oneself for neglecting prayer.

       Hierarch. Should not inexperienced people be led by such reflections to spiritual luxury, as the theologians call the desire of the soul that seeks excessive enjoyments and passionate love of grace, not contenting itself with what it must do in virtue of duty and obligation, and not dreaming of a reward?

       Professor. I think that the theologians here warn against the excesses or greediness of spiritual enjoyments, and do not entirely reject pleasure and enjoyment in the virtues: for, if the pursuit of reward and enjoyment is not perfection, God does not forbid one to think about reward and enjoyment, and even to keep the commandments until perfection is attained. „Honour your father and your mother,” is a commandment! „Thy reward will be great,” is the reward that encourages one to obey it. „If you want to be perfect, go sell your goods and give to the poor,” is the demand of perfection. „Your treasure in heaven will be kept safe for you,” is the immediate reward that encourages one to strive for perfection (Matt. xix, 27).

             “Be thankful for that day when people hate you and take your name as a curse in the son of man,” this is the great requirement of the exercise, for which extraordinary strength of spirit is necessary and unshakable patience. For that, this is the great reward and enjoyment, capable of rupturing the extraordinary strength of spirit and keeping it up: „for your sins are forgiven you in heaven in abundance,” therefore I think that some seeking for enjoyment in heartfelt prayer is necessary, and is the main way to achieve both diligence and success. Thus, all this most convincingly confirms the practical argument of the father of the ascetic that we have just heard…

       SCHEMATIC.  – One of the great theologians, St. Makarios of Egypt, answers in the clearest way possible about this subject: “Just as care and labor are added when planting a vine in order to harvest the fruit, and if there is no fruit, the whole thing is in vain; so it is also with prayer, if we are to perform the fruit of the spiritual life, that is, love, peace, joy, and hope, or the fruit of delight in our hearts.” (p. 3, chapter 5). Do you see how clearly this holy Father has allowed the question of the need for enjoyment in prayer? … However, just recently a lesson I learned came to my mind and it is the main reason for indulgence; and therefore, the study of this nature may also serve as a powerful means of stimulating diligence in prayer, which means that a professor wants to find. Examining that no action can be without a cause, and following the steps of perceptible things from the lower to the higher, it finally reaches the main cause of God. That is why no nation or wild tribe has ever been or is without any idea of God. Something tugs at him to something unknown. … For this reason, all natural religions occur. What is remarkable is that, in general, the essence or soul of each religion is a secret prayer that identifies itself with a certain kind of movement and the obvious ignorance of the heathen people!… As a wonder in the eyes of reason, it demands even more from it to reveal the secret cause of this strange phenomenon, which is expressed in the natural desire for prayer.

                       The psychological answer to this is not complex: the root, division, and power of all desires and actions in man is inherent selfishness. This is clearly confirmed by the fundamental and general idea of self-preservation. Every desire, every enterprise, every human action has the aim of satisfying selfishness, seeking one’s own good. The satisfaction of this need accompanies the whole life of the natural person. But the human spirit is not satisfied with anything sensual, and inherited selfishness never pauses in its striving; therefore, desires develop more and more, the desire for good grows, fills the imagination, and sets this feeling in motion. The show of this inner feeling and desire comes naturally, is the natural excitement to prayer, is the need of selfishness that hardly reaches its goals. The less a person succeeds and the more one has in mind one’s own good, the more one desires, the stronger one expresses one’s desire in prayer; turning with a request to the unknown cause of all existence. Therefore, the innate selfishness – the fundamental principle of life, is the root cause that incites the natural person to prayer! 

      The wise Creator of nature has infused into the nature of man the ability of selfishness itself as a bait, according to the elders, which would attract and lead the decayed human being to a mountain fellowship. –

            Oh, if only man did not spoil this ability and kept it in the dominion of his spiritual nature! Then he would have strong encouragement and a means on the path to moral perfection. But, unfortunately! How often this noble ability becomes a ridiculous passion for self-love, when it is turned into a tool of the animal nature!

            I sincerely thank you, my dear visitors! Your heartfelt, saving conversation has greatly delighted me, and has taught me a lot as a novice. May the Lord bestow His grace on your teaching love.

            Everyone said goodbye.

The Seventh Meeting: Spiritual Conversations

“Pray for one another, and heal.” (James V, 16).

      CONSTRUCTOR. – My pious companion, Professor, could not overcome the common desire to go on a journey and not to visit you with a final farewell and ask for your prayers for us…

      PROFESSOR. – Yes, your sincerity and the salvific talks we enjoyed with you among your friends are understandable to us. This memory will remain in our souls as a pledge of communion and Christian love, even in the distant country to which we aspire.

            – Thank you for the memory and love, and meanwhile, as if your arrival to the thing! I have two wanderers: a Moldavian monk and a hermit who lived for twenty years in silence in the forest. They want to see you, I will call them now…

            Here they are!

      CONSTRUCTOR. – Ah, what a blessed life in the desert! And a convenient one for the unobstructed bring up of the soul to unity with God! The silent forest, like the Edenic Garden, in which the tree of life grows in the prayerful heart of the hermit. If I had any means of sustenance, I would not have parted with the hermit’s life.

      PROFESSOR. – Everything seems especially good to us from a distance, and by experience everyone is convinced that every place, having its advantages, has its disadvantages. Of course, for someone who has a melancholic temperament and a lust for silence, life alone is pleasing, but how much danger there is on the path, too! Ascetic history contains many examples where it is clear how many hermits and hermits have completely deprived themselves of contact with people, fell into self-delusion and deep distortion.

The Hermit. – I am surprised how often in Russia, not only in monastic monasteries, but even among some pious laymen, one hears that many who are inclined toward a solitary life or to inner prayer are deterred from following this impulse by fear of falling prey. Insisting on this, they cite examples to support their claims; namely, that both they themselves refuse inner life and discourage others from it.… I think this comes from two sources: either from a lack of understanding of the matter or from spiritual ignorance, or from their own indolence to the contemplative life and their envy, so that others who are on a lower level than them do not surpass them in spiritual realization.… The Holy Fathers reason on this subject, instructing us explicitly and decisively with the words that we must not be afraid or hesitate to call upon God. If some people fall into self-delusion or insanity, it is because they have been overwhelmed by pride, because of their lack of a spiritual mentor and because they accept visions and dreams as truth. If such a delusion should occur (they continue), it would lead to experience and ecstasy; for the quick help of God intervenes in such a delusion. “Have courage! I am with you,” says Jesus Christ. (Greek Syn. l.f.) From this it follows that it is useless to fear and to be frightened by an inner life under the pretext of self-delusion: for the humble awareness of one’s sins, the openness of the soul to the spiritual mentor, and the “slumber” in prayer constitute a solid and safe safeguard against temptation, which many are so afraid of, and because of which many are afraid and are therefore in the grip of temptation. “Have courage! I am with you!” says Jesus Christ.

      Hermit. – Although the guidance of an experienced and spiritually knowledgeable teacher, or elder, who could freely and with trust and benefit open one’s soul, thoughts, and encounter on the path of interior instruction, and who is a fundamental condition for the exercise of heart prayer that is engaged in silence, parents who prescribe this are an exception. St. Nicholas the hermit clearly teaches that: “for the practice of inner heart action, a true and knowledgeable teacher is necessary. If there is no such teacher, one should diligently seek: if one cannot find one, then with a grieving heart one should call upon God for help to gain instruction and guidance in the teaching of the Holy Scripture.” In considering this, it is also necessary to take into account that a sincere and diligent searcher can hear a useful and instructive word from the common people, for the Holy Fathers also assure us that if we ask a Saracen with faith and the right intention, he will also give us a helpful word; if we require instruction from the Prophet without faith and with the right intention, he will not satisfy us … An example of this is found in the Great Egyptian Macarius, for whom a simple peasant revealed understanding, thereby ending his indulgence. As for the “blindness,” i.e. not to perceive and not to take any manifestations during contemplation, whether of light, angels, Christ, or any saint, and to turn away from any dreaming, the experienced Holy Fathers, of course, prescribe this, mainly for the reason that the imagination is easily able to bring to life or make tangible these visions; therefore, the inexperienced person can easily become carried away by them, worship them as divine manifestations, and fall into self-deception, while at the same time, as the Holy Scriptures depict, that “the devil transforms himself into the angel of light.” And the fact that the mind is naturally and conveniently capable of remaining in “blindness” and maintaining it in the presence of God’s presence is evident from the fact that the power of imagination is clearly able to imagine something in “blindness” and to hold the imagined item in mind while considering objects that do not fall under the sense of sight, which do not have an external form. For example: the imagination and self-perception of our soul – air, heat, cold; being in the cold, one can quickly imagine warmth in the stomach, even though it has no form, it is not visible, it cannot be measured by touch of what is on the cold! Similarly, the presence of the divine and unfathomable essence of God can be imagined in the stomach, perceived in the heart in blindness.

       BUILDER. – I have had to hear from pious and seekers of salvation that they fear to touch the inner work under the impression of temptation. Some, with my benefit, have studied the admonitions of Saint Gregory of Sinai from The Merciful Love, who says that “the work of the heart cannot be wondrous (not in the way the intellect is), because if the enemy also wanted to turn the warmth of the heart into his chaotic burning; or the lightness of the heart into the humid pleasure: but experience, experience, and the feelings themselves distort these deceptions, even for those not very…”

          I also met others who, much to my regret and after having learned the path of silence and inner prayer, in the event of any obstacle or sinful weakness, lose hope and abandon the inner work of the heart that they have come to know!

       PROFESSOR. – That is very natural! I also sometimes feel this in myself when I find myself straying from the inner disposition to entertain, or committing a sin… Because since inner prayer of the heart is a holy matter and a union with God, is it decent and not insouciant to bring holy business into a sinful heart without first cleansing it of sins, without first cleansing it of evil, and without first cleansing it of evil, without first cleansing it with sin? Preparing for God’s communion? It is better to become anonymous before God than to harbor “reckless verbs” in a darkened and distracted heart.

       MONK. – It is so sad that you reason in this way! This “disillusionment” thought, which is more sinful than any sin, and which constitutes the main weapon of the dark world against us… Experienced holy Fathers of ours give completely different counsel in this case. The Reverend Michael the Stifate says that even if you fall and fall into the depths of hellish wrath, then you should not be discouraged, but rather turn to God, and He will soon restore your fallen heart and give you the power of the old one (chapter 54). So, after any fall or vulnerability of the heart to sin, it should be immediately brought into the presence of God for healing and purification, just as infected things, after lying for a while under the influence of sunlight, lose their harmful acuteness and power. This is what many spiritual teachers affirm with conviction. In the struggle with the enemies of salvation – our passions, the sacramental act should in no way be abandoned in favor of walking in the presence of God and of inner prayer, arousing anxiety, discouragement, and sadness. On the contrary, our actions should accelerate our conversion to God. An infant is nursed by his mother when he begins to walk, and he turns to her with wit and holds on to her firmly as he stumbles.

      Pustelnik.  – I think so that gloomy thoughts and doubtful thoughts are most easily excited by the dispersion of the mind, and not by the silence of the gaze and of oneself. The ancient sages have overcome despair, received inner illumination and spiritual fortification by hope in God, by peaceful silence and solitude; and they gave us in this case a useful and wise advice: “Sit silently in your cell and it will teach you everything.”

      PROFESSOR.  – On my confidence to you, it is my greatest wish to hear your critical analysis of my thoughts regarding the exalted silence that you praise and the beneficial utility of solitude, which ascetics love to keep. Here is how I judge this: since all people are by nature, commanded by the Creator, in necessary dependence on each other; and therefore, obliged to help each other in life and to work for and be beneficial to one another, this social bond is the foundation of the prosperity of the human race and love for one’s neighbour. And the silent hermit, who has withdrawn from intercourse with people, what can he do in his inactivity for the good of his neighbour and what benefit does he bring to the prosperity of human society? He utterly destroys in himself the Creator’s law regarding the union of love for one’s neighbour and the beneficial influence on one’s fellow human being!..

      Pustelnik.  – Since your view of silence is not correct, then the conclusion is not correct; let us examine this in detail:

            1. The isolated silence is not only not in an inactive and empty state, but rather acts and even more so than one who participates in public life. He tirelessly acts with his highest rational nature: he observes, understands, watches the state and the course of his moral being. This is the true purpose of silence! And this is how beneficial both for his own fulfillment and for his neighbours, deprived of the opportunity to immerse themselves the in the self without distraction, for the development of moral life, because the observant silence, communicating its inner experiences, either orally (in exceptional cases) or by writing them down, blesses and benefits more and higher than the public and private benefactor, because the private, sensual benefaction of worldly people is always limited to a small number of benefactors; and the benefactor, by acquiring convictions and experienced methods for the refinement of spiritual life, becomes the benefactor of whole nations; his experiments and teachings pass from generation to generation, as we see and use from ancient times. And it is not different in anything from the generous almsgiving of Christ for the sake of Christian love, but even surpasses it in its consequences.

2. The beneficial and useful influence of the solitary in his near relatives is revealed not only in the meditative observations he makes on inner life, but even the example of his detached life benefits the attentive layperson, leading him to self-awareness and devotion to awe… stimulating him to an honest life, reminding him of what man can be on earth, and how accessible it is to restore man to his original contemplative state, from which he came out of the hands of the Creator. The solitary ascetic teaches by his silence, benefits by his example, and encourages and convinces people to seek God…

3. The benefit shown comes from the solitude of the true, enlightened, and grace-filled. But even if the solitary does not have these graces to be a light to the world, if he takes the path of solitude with the sole aim of hiding himself from his fellow men, because of his sloth and negligence and the bad and seductive example he gives, then he would still do a great deal of good and have a beneficent influence on society. And this is already a great deal, and this is already a social good, since the solitary, by his solitude, takes away the temptation that would inevitably come from his seductive life among people, and harms the morality of his neighbors.

St. Isaac Sirin comments on the importance of solitude as follows: “When on one side we place all the deeds of this life, and on the other silence: then we will find that it outweighs all the signs of the Creator, miracles and power in the world, and cannot be compared with silent seltrenstruvak, devoid of shameful silence, of solitude. peace, and the conversion of many nations to God.”

Even the most material sages were aware of the benefits of solitude: the Neoplatonic philosophical school, which had many famous disciples under the guidance of the philosopher Plato, developed a meditative and interior life, which was mostly achieved in solitude… One spiritual writer said that if the state were developed to the greatest possible extent, there would be a need for people for other, contemplative purposes, in addition to their social civic activity, to sustain the spirit of truth and take it from all ages past, to preserve it for ages to come, and to pass it on to future generations. Such people in the Church are hermits, solitary dwellers, and soliters.

BUILDER. – It seems that no one has assessed the advantages of silence more clearly than St. John of the Ladder: “Silence, he says, is the mother of prayer, a return from the dominion of sin, an insensible success in virtues, and a constant ascent to heaven.” And Jesus Christ Himself, to show us the benefit and necessity of solitary silence, often left the public preaching and went to places of solitude for prayer and repose.

 So they began to learn together, passing on to each other what they understood; the subject of the teaching was the same. And what happened after a few days? The negligent became diligent, loved the teaching, and negligence turned into diligence and prudence, which had a beneficial effect on his character and morality. And his companion, who was adept, became even more capable and hard-working. They benefited from each other in action… And this is natural; for a person is born into a society of people, develops intelligent ideas through people; the customs of life, emotions, desires, in short, everything he adopts as a model. And therefore, as the life of people consists in the closest relationship and powerful influence of each other, whoever lives among people becomes like them in habits, actions, and customs. So a cold person can warm up, a dull person can become sharp, a lazy person can be encouraged to act with a lively participation similar to his own. The spirit of the spirit can transmit itself, can have a beneficial effect on each other: attract it to prayer, to attention, encourage it in despair, turn it away from vice and incite it to holy activity, and therefore, with the help of each other, can become more pious, more active, and more pleasing to God. One prays for the other, brotherly!

 And from this one can see that God is not content with many prayers and petitions (as is the case in strong countries), but the spirit and power of prayer purify and excite the soul for which one prays, and present it as capable of becoming one with God. If such a fruitful mutual prayer exists among those who live on earth, it is self-evident that prayer for those who have passed away is also mutually beneficial, and is the closest bond between the heavenly world and the earthly; it can also bring the souls of the Church militant into communion with those of the Church triumphant, or, what is the same, with those who have departed.

 Although everything I have said is a psychological judgement; but by revealing the Holy Scripture, we will be convinced of its truth! 1) Jesus Christ says to the Apostle Peter: “Pray for you, so that your faith may not be weakened.” Here the power of Christ’s prayer strengthens Peter’s spirit and encourages him against the temptation to faith. 2) When the Apostle Peter was in prison, there was sincere prayer in the church for him. Here the help of fraternal prayer in difficult life circumstances is evident… 3) But the clearest commandment on prayer for neighbors is expressed by the holy Apostle James: “Confess your sins to each other, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. For much goodwill will help the prayer of the righteous,” we are urged. Here the above-mentioned psychological conclusion is clearly confirmed…

.            What about the example of the Apostle Paul, given as an example of prayer for one another? One writer remarks that this example of St. Paul should teach us how much mutual prayer is needed, when even this holy and strong spiritual struggler acknowledges the need for this spiritual prayerful aid. In his letter to the Hebrews he expresses his request thus: “Pray for us, for we trust to the good conscience of everyone who wants to live well. On the basis of this, how unreasonable it would be to rely only on our own prayers and successes, when a humble, only dutifully pleasing saint asks that the prayers of the closest be joined with his own? And therefore, with what humility, simplicity and union of love, should we not reject or disdain the prayerful help of even the most powerful of the faithful, when the enlightened spirit of the Apostle Paul did not take care here with distinction; but asked for common prayer from all, knowing that God’s power is realized in weaknesses; and therefore it may sometimes occur in the weaker, supposedly prayerful ones.

      Having been convinced by this example, let us note that prayer for one another supports the union of the Christian love commanded by God, shows humility and the spirit of the one who prays, and enkindles a mutual prayer.

       RECTOR. – Your analysis and evidence are excellent and accurate, but it would be interesting to hear from you what is the procedure and form of prayer for a neighbor, because I believe that if the fruitfulness and effectiveness of prayer depends on the living participation of one’s neighbor and, above all, on the constant influence of the spirit praying over that one who needs the appeal, then there should not be an appeal to being in an unnoticed presence of God, and laying one’s soul before God in its own need? And if only once or twice a day one mentions one’s neighbor with that neighbor’s participation and asking for God’s help; then is this sufficient to arouse and strengthen the soul of the one for whom one is praying? In short: one wishes to know how to pray for one’s neighbor.

       Monk. – Any prayer that is brought to God should not, and cannot, take one out of the presence of God, for if it is poured out to God, it is, of course, in His presence… As for the mode of prayer for one’s neighbors, it should be noted that the strength of this prayer lies in sincere Christian participation. Therefore, upon mention of one’s neighbor, or in an hour appointed for this purpose, one should bring a contemplative gaze to God, and offer the prayer in the following form: Gracious Lord! May Your will be done, which desires for all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of truth: save and have mercy on Your servant (Matthew). Accept this desire of mine as a cry of love, commanded by You.

            These words are usually repeated during the movements of the soul or when counting the beads, with this prayer. I have learned from experience how beneficial such a prayer is for the person that is being prayed for.

      FATHER. – Penitent conversation and light thoughts gleaned from your views and reflections oblige me to keep them in my memory, and to have respect and gratitude for all of you in my grateful heart…

      CONSTRUCTOR AND FATHER. – Thus, the time for our departure has come; we sincerely ask for your prayers at parting and for your companionship.

            – Lord of the Universe, bringing the Shepherd from the dead, the Blood of the Eternal Covenant, our Lord Jesus Christ, may He make it so that you will always work out His will, doing what is pleasing before Him, through Jesus Christ. To Him be glory for ever and ever.

Amen.