STORY ONE.

            I am, by the grace of God, a Christian man, a great sinner in deeds, a homeless wanderer by title, of the lowest class, wandering from place to place. My possessions are as follows: a bag of crackers over my shoulders, and a Holy Bible under my bosom; that is all. On the twenty-fourth week after Pentecost, I came to church for lunch to pray; they read the Apostle from the Epistle to the Thessalonians, beginning 273, which says:  Pray without ceasing  . This expression especially stuck in my mind, and I began to think, how is it possible to pray without ceasing, when every person also needs to exercise in other matters to support his life? I managed in the Bible, and there I saw with my own eyes the same thing that I had heard – namely, that one must pray without ceasing, pray at all times in the spirit  , put on praying hands in every place. I thought, thought, did not know how to decide.

            What should I do, I thought, where can I find someone who would explain it to me? I will go to churches where good preachers are famous, maybe I will hear it in my mind there. And I went. I heard many very good sermons on prayer. But they were all teachings on prayer in general; what prayer is; how it is necessary to pray; what are the fruits of prayer; and no one spoke about how to achieve success in prayer. There was a sermon on prayer in the spirit and on unceasing prayer; but how to achieve such prayer was not indicated. So listening to sermons did not lead me to what I wanted. Why, having listened to them and not having received an idea of ​​how to pray unceasingly, I no longer began to listen to public sermons, but decided, with God’s help, to seek an experienced and knowledgeable interlocutor who would explain to me about unceasing prayer, due to my unyielding desire for this knowledge.

            For a long time I traveled to different places: I read the Bible all the time, and asked if there was any spiritual mentor or reverent experienced driver? Sometimes I was told that a gentleman had been living in this village for a long time and was being saved: he had a church in his house, never went anywhere and always prayed to God, and incessantly read soul-saving books. Hearing this, I no longer walked, but ran to the said village; I reached and overtook the landowner.

            “What do you need from me?” he asked me.

            I have heard that you are a man of prayer and understanding; therefore I ask you, for God’s sake, to explain to me what is meant by the Apostle’s words:  Pray without ceasing  , and how one can pray without ceasing? I would like to know this, but I cannot understand it.

            The Lord fell silent, looked at me intently, and said: continuous inner prayer is the continuous striving of the human spirit towards God. To succeed in this sweet exercise, one should ask the Lord more often to teach him to pray without ceasing. Pray more and more fervently, prayer will reveal to you by itself how it can be continuous; this requires time.

            Having said this, he ordered me to be fed, sent me on my way, and let me go. And he didn’t explain.

            I went again; I thought and thought, read and read, pondered and pondered what the gentleman had told me and still could not understand; and I wanted to understand very much, so I did not sleep at night. I had walked two hundred versts and now I was entering a large provincial city. I saw a monastery there. Having stopped at an inn, I heard that the abbot of this monastery was kind, forgiving and wonderful. I went to him. He received me cordially, sat me down and began to treat me.

            Holy Father! – I said.

            So how can you be saved? Live according to the commandments, and pray to God, and you will be saved!

            I hear that we should pray without ceasing, but I do not know how to pray without ceasing, and I cannot even understand what unceasing prayer means. I ask you, my father, to explain this to me.

            I don’t know, dear brother, how else to explain it to you. Hey! Wait, I have a book, it’s explained there; and I brought out Saint Dmitry’s spiritual teaching on the inner man. Read it on this page.

            I began to read the following: “They are the words of the Apostle: pray without ceasing – we must understand it as prayer that is active with the mind: for the mind can always be stubborn in God and pray to him without ceasing.”

            Explain to me this, how the mind can always be fixed on God, not distracted, and pray unceasingly.

            “It’s very strange, except to whom would God himself give it,” said the abbot. And he didn’t explain.

            Having spent the night with him, and in the morning having thanked him for his kind reception, I set off on my journey, not knowing where I was going. I grieved over my lack of understanding, but for solace I read the Holy Bible. I walked like this for five days on the great road; finally, towards evening, an old man, who seemed to be one of the clergy, caught up with me.

            When I asked him, he said that he was a schemamonk from a desert about 10 versts away from the main road, and invited me to go with him to their desert. He said that here, travelers are welcomed, comforted, and fed together with pilgrims in a hotel.

            I didn’t feel like going in, and I responded to his invitation like this: my peace of mind doesn’t depend on the apartment, but on spiritual guidance; I’m not chasing food, I have plenty of crackers in my bag.

            And what kind of instruction are you seeking and what are you wondering about? Come, come, dear brother, to us; we have experienced elders who can give spiritual nourishment and guide you on the true path, in the light of the word of God and the reasoning of the holy fathers.

            You see, Father, about a year ago, when I was at the dinner table, I heard from the Apostle this commandment:  pray without ceasing  . Unable to understand this, I began to read the Bible. And there, too, in many places, I found God’s command that one should pray without ceasing, always, at any time, in every place, not only during all activities: not only when awake, but even in sleep.  I sleep, but my heart is awake  . This greatly surprised me, and I could not understand how this could be done and what methods were used; a strong desire and curiosity arose in me; and day and night it could not be removed from my mind. And so I began to go to churches, to listen to sermons on prayer; but no matter how many I listened to, in none of them did I receive instructions on how to pray without ceasing; everything only spoke about preparation for prayer or its fruits and the like, without teaching how to pray without ceasing and what such prayer means. I have often read the Bible and used it to verify what I have heard; but I have not found the desired knowledge. And so I am still left in amazement and anxiety.

            The elder crossed himself and began to speak: Thank God, beloved brother, for this discovery of an irresistible desire in you to know unceasing interior prayer. Recognize in this the title of God and calm down, making sure that up to this time you have been tested for the consent of your will to the voice of God, and it was made clear that it is not by the wisdom of this world, nor by external curiosity, that one reaches the heavenly light, unceasing interior prayer, but on the contrary; simplicity of heart. And therefore it is not at all surprising that you could not hear about the essential matter of prayer, and learn the science of how to achieve this unceasing action. And to tell the truth, although much is preached about prayer, and there are many teachings about it by various writers, but since all their reasonings are based for the most part on the assumption, on the reasonings of natural reason, and not on active experience, they teach more about the belonging of prayer than about its essence. Another reflects wonderfully on the necessity of prayer; the second on its power and beneficence; the third on the means to the perfection of prayer, that is, that prayer necessarily requires diligence, attention, warmth of heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, etc. And what is prayer? and how to learn to pray? – on these, although the most basic and necessary questions, one can very rarely find detailed explanations from the preachers of this time; therefore, they are more difficult to understand than all their above-mentioned considerations and require mysterious knowledge, and not just school science. What is more, it is a pity that vain elemental wisdom forces us to measure God by human standards. Many people think about the matter of prayer in a completely distorted way, thinking that preparatory means and feats create prayer, and not prayer gives birth to feats and all virtues. In this case, they incorrectly take the fruits or consequences of prayer for the means and methods to it, and thereby belittle the power of prayer. And this is completely displeasing to the Holy Scriptures: for the Apostle Paul gives instruction about prayer in these words:  I pray that first of all  (first of all)  I will make prayers  . – Here the first instruction in the Apostle’s statement about prayer is that he puts the matter of prayer first:  I pray that first of all I will make prayers . There are many good deeds that are required of a Christian, but the work of prayer should be first of all, because without it no other good deed can take place. It is impossible to find the way to the Lord without prayer, to understand the truth, to crucify the flesh with its passions and lusts, to be enlightened in the heart by the light of Christ and to be savedly united without prior, frequent prayer. I say frequent, because both the perfection and correctness of prayer are beyond our ability, as St. Apostle Paul says: let us pray often, as we ought, we do not know. Therefore, only frequency, constancy are left to the fate of our ability, as a means to achieve prayerful purity, which is the mother of every spiritual good. Acquire a mother, and she will give you children, says St. Isaac the Syrian, learn to acquire the first prayer and you will conveniently fulfill all the virtues. And those who are little acquainted with the practice and with the mysterious teachings of the St. Fathers know this only vaguely and speak little about it.

            In this conversation we insensibly approached almost the very desert. In order not to let this wise elder pass me by, but rather to obtain permission for my desire, I hastened to say to him: Do me a favor, venerable father, explain to me what continuous interior prayer means, and how to learn it: I see that you know it thoroughly and with experience.

            The elder accepted my request with love and called me to him: come to me now, I will give you the book of the Holy Fathers, from which you can clearly and thoroughly understand and learn prayer with God’s help. We entered the cell, and the elder began to say the following: the continuous interior Jesus prayer is the continuous, never-ceasing invocation of the Divine name of Jesus Christ with the mouth, mind and heart, with the imagination of His constant presence, and the request for His mercy, during all occupations in every occupation. It is expressed in these words: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! And if someone gets used to this invocation, he will feel great comfort, and the need to always do this prayer so that it cannot be without prayer, and it will already pour out in him by itself.

            Now do you understand what unceasing prayer is? – Very clear, my father! For God’s sake, teach me how to achieve it! – I exclaimed with joy.

            How to learn to pray, we will read about it in this book. This book is called Philanthropy. It contains a complete and detailed teaching on unceasing interior prayer, expounded by twenty-five holy fathers, and is so high and useful that it is considered the main and foremost teacher in the contemplative spiritual life, and, as the Monk Nicephorus says, “leads to salvation without labor or sweat.”

            “Is it higher and holier than the Bible?” I asked.

            – No, it is not higher and holier than the Bible, but it contains in itself bright explanations of what is mysteriously contained in the Bible, and is not reasonable in its height for our short-sighted mind. I present you with an example of this: the sun is the largest, most brilliant and wonderful luminary; but you cannot contemplate and consider it with a simple, unprotected eye. A certain artificial glass is needed, although millions of times smaller and dimmer than the sun, through which you could contemplate this beautiful king of the luminaries, admire and receive its fiery rays. So the sacred scripture is a brilliant sun, and Benevolence is the necessary glass.

            Now listen – I will read how to learn continuous interior prayer. – The elder opened the Book of Charity, found the teaching of St. Symeon the New Theologian and began: “Sit silently and alone, bow your head, close your eyes; breathe more quietly, look into your heart with your imagination, bring your mind, that is, your thoughts from your head to your heart. As you breathe, say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Drive away thoughts, have calm patience, and repeat this exercise more often.

            Then the elder explained all this to me, showed me an example of it, and we also read from the Dobrotolyubstva of St. Gregory of Sinai, and also the Venerable Callistus and Ignatius. The elder explained to me everything read in the Dobrotolyubstva, and also in his own words. I listened attentively to everything with admiration, absorbed my memory and tried to remember as much as possible in detail. So we sat all night and, not sleeping, went to Matins.

            The elder, as he let me go, blessed me and said that while I was learning to pray, I should go to him with sincere confession and revelation, because without the approval of a mentor, it would be inconvenient and not very successful to engage in inner work on my own.

            Standing in the church, I felt a burning desire within me to study inner, unceasing prayer as diligently as possible, and I asked God to help me. Then I thought, how could I go to the elder for advice or for a spirit with revelation? After all, they wouldn’t let me stay in a hotel for more than three days, and there are no apartments near the desert? Finally, I heard that there was a village 4 versts away. I went there to look for a place for myself; and fortunately for me, God showed me a convenient place. I hired myself there for the whole summer to guard a man’s garden, so that I could live in a hut in this garden alone. Thank God! – I found a quiet place. And so I began to live and study, according to the method shown to me, inner prayer, and go to the elder.

            For a week I diligently engaged in solitude in the garden, studying unceasing prayer, exactly as the elder had explained to me. At first, it seemed that things were going well. Then I felt a great burden, laziness, boredom, overwhelming sleep, and various thoughts were clouding over me. With sorrow I went to the elder and told him my situation. He, having kindly met me, began to say: this, beloved brother, is a war against you of the dark world, to which nothing in us is so terrible as heartfelt prayer, and therefore it is trying in every way to hinder you and distract you from studying prayer. However, the enemy also acts not otherwise than by the will of God and by permissiveness, as much as is necessary for us. It is evident that you still need a test of humility; and therefore it is still too early to touch the higher entrance of the heart with excessive zeal, so as not to fall into spiritual greed.

            Here I will read to you about this case a lesson from Philanthropy. The elder found the teachings of the Monk Nicephorus and began to read: “If, after a little work, you cannot enter the country of the heart as it was explained to you, then do what I tell you, and with God’s help you will find what you are looking for. You know that the ability to pronounce words is in every person’s larynx. (If you want) and let him say this continuously: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

            Here you hear how the holy fathers instruct in this case, said the elder. And therefore you must now accept with confidence the commandment to make the oral Jesus prayer as much as possible. Here is the rosary for you, according to which you will make at least three thousand prayers every day for the first time. Whether you are standing, sitting, walking, or lying down, say without ceasing: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, – not loudly and not hastily; and without fail faithfully perform three thousand a day, do not add or subtract arbitrarily. God will help you through this to achieve continuous heart action.

            I gladly accepted this order and went to my place. I began to do it correctly and exactly as the elder had taught me. It was difficult for me for two days, but then it became so easy and desirable that when you don’t say the prayer, there was some requirement to say the Jesus Prayer again, and it began to be said more comfortably and easily, not as forcedly as before.

            I announced this to the elder, and he ordered me to perform six thousand prayers a day, saying: Be calm and only, as faithfully as possible, try to fulfill the number of prayers commanded to you: God will have mercy on you.

            For a whole week in my lonely hut I recited six thousand Jesus prayers every day, without caring about anything or looking at my thoughts, no matter how they fought; I only tried to fulfill the elder’s commandment exactly. And what? – I got so used to prayer that if I stopped doing it for even a short time, I felt as if I was missing something, as if I had lost something; I would start praying, and at the same moment it would become easy and comforting again. When you meet someone, you no longer feel like talking, and all you want to do is be alone and do your prayer; that’s how I got used to it for a week.

            After not seeing me for ten days, the elder himself came to visit me; I explained my condition to him. He, having listened, said: Now you have become accustomed to prayer, see to it that you maintain and strengthen this habit, do not waste time in solitude, and with God’s help resolve not to perform twelve thousand prayers a day in vain; Keep to solitude, get up earlier and go to bed later, come to me for advice every two weeks.

            I began to do as the elder had instructed me, and on the first day I barely managed to finish my twelve thousand rule late in the evening. On the second day I did it easily and with pleasure. At first, when I kept saying the prayer, I felt fatigue, or as if my tongue were numb and my jaws were tight, but pleasant; then I felt a slight and subtle pain in the roof of my mouth; then I felt a slight pain in the thumb of my left hand, with which I was fingering the rosary, which was a pleasant sensation. At the same time, all this seemed to excite and compel me to do more prayer. And so on the fifth day I faithfully performed twelve thousand prayers and, along with the habit, gained pleasure and joy.

            One day, early in the morning, I was awakened by prayer. I began to recite the morning prayers, but my tongue did not pronounce them skillfully, and all my desire naturally yearned to recite the Jesus Prayer. And when I began it, how easy and comforting it became, and my tongue and lips seemed to pronounce it by themselves without my forcing! I spent the whole day in joy and was as if alienated from everything else, as if in another land, and easily finished twelve thousand prayers in the early evening. I also really wanted to recite the prayer, but I did not dare to do more than the elder had commanded. Thus, on other days, I continued to call upon the name of Jesus Christ with ease and attraction to Him.

            Then he went to the elder for a revelation and told him in detail. He, having listened, began to say: Thank God that the hunting and ease of prayer have been revealed in you. This is a natural thing that comes from frequent exercise and feat, like a machine in which a push or force is given to the main wheel, which works for a long time by itself; and in order to continue its movement, this wheel must be lubricated and pushed. Do you see with what wonderful abilities the loving God has provided even the sensual nature of man, which can be sensations even outside of grace and not in purified sensuality and in a sinful soul, as you yourself have already experienced? And how wonderful, wonderful and delightful it is when the Lord is pleased to reveal to someone the gift of spontaneous spiritual prayer and cleanse the soul from passions? This state is not depicted, and the discovery of this prayer mystery is a foretaste of the sweetness of the heavenly earth. Those who seek the Lord in the simplicity of a loving heart will enjoy this! Now I allow you: pray as much as you want, as much as possible, try to devote all your waking hours to prayer and without hesitation call on the name of Jesus Christ, humbly surrendering yourself to the will of God and waiting for help from Him: I believe that He will not leave you and will direct your path.

            Having accepted this instruction, I spent the whole summer in the unceasing oral prayer of Jesus, and I was very calm. In my sleep I often dreamed that I was praying. And during the day, if I happened to meet anyone, everyone without exception seemed to me as kind as my relatives, although I did not engage in any business with them. My thoughts themselves completely quieted down, and I thought of nothing except prayer, to which my mind began to incline, and my heart itself began to feel warmth and a certain pleasantness. When I happened to come to church, the long desert service seemed short, and was no longer tiring for my strength, as it had been before. My secluded hut seemed to me a wonderful palace, and I did not know how to thank God that He had sent me, such a wretched sinner, such a saving elder and mentor.

            But I did not use the instructions of my kind and God-wise elder for long – at the end of the summer he died. I, having said goodbye to him with tears, thanking him for the fatherly teaching of me, the wretched one, asked for his blessing after him for the rosary, with which he always prayed. So I was left alone. Finally, the summer passed, and the garden was cleaned up. I had nowhere to live. My husband paid me off, gave me two whole rubles for guarding, and poured a bag of crackers on the road, and I again went to travel to different places; but I no longer walked as I had before, in need; the invocation of the name of Jesus Christ cheered me on the road, and all people became kinder to me, it seemed as if everyone began to love me.

            One day I began to think where I should spend the money I received for keeping the garden and what use would it be to me? Oh! wait! The elder is gone now, there is no one to teach me; I will buy myself a Dobrotolyubstvo, and I will begin to learn inner prayer from it. I crossed myself and went with my prayer. I reached a provincial town and began to ask for a Dobrotolyubstvo in the pews; I found one in one place, but even then they ask for three kopecks, and I only have two; I bargained, I bargained, but the merchant did not yield at all; finally he said: Go to this church, ask the church elder there; he has an old book like that, maybe he will give it to you for two kopecks. I went and really bought a Dobrotolyubstvo for two kopecks, all battered and old; I was delighted. I repaired it somehow, covered it with a rag and put it in a bag with my Bible.

            Now I walk like this, and I constantly say the Jesus Prayer, which is dear and sweeter to me than anything in the world. I sometimes walk seventy versts or more a day, and I don’t feel that I am walking; I only feel that I am saying a prayer. When a strong cold seizes me, I will begin to say the prayer with intensity, and soon I will be all warm. If hunger begins to overcome me, I will call upon the name of Jesus Christ more often and forget that I wanted to eat. When I become ill, my back and legs will begin to ache, I will begin to listen to the prayer, and I will not feel the pain. If someone offends me, I will only remember how I enjoy the Jesus Prayer; immediately the insult and anger will pass and I will forget everything. I have become some kind of crazy person, I have no worries about anything, nothing occupies me, I would not look at anything fussy, and I would be alone in solitude; It is only out of habit that I want to pray constantly, and when I do, I have great joy. God knows what this does to me. Of course, all this is sensual, or, as the late elder said, naturally and artificially from habit; but I do not dare to begin studying and mastering spiritual prayer within my heart any time soon, due to my unworthiness and stupidity. I await the hour of God’s will, hoping for the prayers of my late elder. So, although I have not achieved continuous spontaneous spiritual prayer in my heart, thank God, I now clearly understand what the expression I heard in the Apostle means:
      “Pray without ceasing.”

STORY TWO.

            For a long time I traveled to different places with the Jesus Prayer accompanying me, which encouraged and comforted me on all my journeys, at all meetings and occasions. Finally, I felt that it would be better to stop somewhere in one place, both for convenient solitude and for the study of the Charity, which I read, even if only a little, leaning against the bed at night, or during daytime rest; however, there was a strong desire to constantly delve into it, and with faith to draw from it true instruction for the salvation of the soul through heartfelt prayer. But since, in accordance with this desire of mine, I could not engage in any work of any kind, due to the inactivity of my left hand from my very youth; and therefore, being unable to have a permanent refuge, I went to the Siberian lands, to Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, with the intention that I would walk silently through the forests and steppes of Siberia, and therefore it would be more convenient for me to engage in prayer and reading. Thus I walked, but I constantly made oral prayer. Finally, after a short time, I felt that the prayer itself began to somehow pass into the heart, that is, the heart, during its usual beating, began to speak the words of prayer within itself with each of its beats, for example: 1) Lord, 2) Jesus, 3) Christ, etc. I stopped saying the prayer with my mouth, and began to listen diligently to what my heart was saying; remembering how the late elder had explained it to me, how pleasant it was. Then he began to feel a subtle pain in his heart, and in his thoughts such love for Jesus Christ that it seemed that if he saw Him, he would throw himself at His feet and not let them go from his hands, sweetly lobbying, to tears, but thanks to Him, that He gives such comfort about His name, sweet.

            Then a certain beneficial warming began to appear in my heart, and this warmth spread throughout my entire chest. This turned me especially to diligent reading of the Book of Charity, in order to both trust my feelings and learn to further engage in inner heartfelt prayer; for without this verification I was afraid lest I should fall into vanity, or take natural actions for grace, and be proud of the quick acquisition of prayer, as I had heard from the late elder. And so I walked more at night, and spent my days mostly reading the Book of Charity, sitting in the forest under the trees. Ah, how much new, how much wise and hitherto unknown things did reading reveal to me! Practicing it, I enjoyed such pleasure that I had never imagined before. True, although some places were incomprehensible to my senseless mind when reading, the consequences that come from heartfelt prayer explained to me the misunderstanding; Besides, I occasionally saw in my dreams my late elder, who explained many things to me, and more and more inclined my foolish soul to humility. I enjoyed myself so much for two summer months. I traveled more through the forests and along the paths: if I came to a village, I would ask for a bag of crackers, a handful of salt, and pour myself a pitcher of water, and again I would walk a hundred versts.

            Whether it was because of the sins of my cursed soul, or because of the need in my spiritual life, or because of better guidance and experience, at the end of the summer, temptations began to appear. Namely: I went out onto the main road, and at dusk two people, who looked like soldiers from their heads, caught up with me; they began to demand money. When I said that I did not have a single penny, they did not believe me and shouted insolently: “You are lying! Travelers make a lot of money!” One of them said: “Why talk to him a lot?” and hit me on the head with a club so that I fell unconscious. I do not know how long I lay unconscious; but when I woke up, I saw that I was lying near the forest by the road, all torn apart and my bag was gone; only the ropes on which it had been carried had been cut. Thank God they didn’t take my passport, which was in my old hat, in case I had to give evidence as soon as possible, where they were required. When I got up, I cried bitterly, not so much because of the headache as because they had taken away my books, the Bible and the Book of Charity, which were in my bag. I didn’t stop grieving and crying day or night. Where is my Bible now, which I had read since I was a child and always had with me? Where is my Book of Charity, from which I drew both instruction and comfort? I, wretched man, have lost both the first and the last treasure in my life, before I had even had enough of it. It would be better if I were killed altogether than to live without this spiritual food! I can’t buy them again now!

            For two days I could barely move my legs, exhausted by this grief; and on the third, completely exhausted, I fell under a bush and fell asleep. And so I see in a dream that I am in the desert in the cell of my elder, mourning my grief. The elder, comforting me, began to say: this is a lesson for you in dispassion for earthly things for a more comfortable journey to heaven. This is allowed to you so that you do not fall, but spiritual sensuality. God wants a Christian to completely reject his will, desire and any passion for it and to completely surrender to His Divine will. He arranges all events for the benefit and salvation of man.  Everyone wants to be saved . Therefore, be encouraged and believe that  with temptation the Lord will create an abundance . And you will soon be much more comforted than you are now sad. At these words I woke up, felt strengthened in my strength, and in my soul there was a kind of dawn and peace. May the will of the Lord be done, I said, crossed myself, got up and left. Prayer began to work in my heart again as before, and for three days I traveled peacefully.

            Suddenly I catch up with a stage of well-workers who are being escorted. When I catch up with them, I see two people who robbed me, and since they were coming from the other side, I fall at their feet and convincingly ask them to tell me where my books are? At first they paid no attention to me, and then one of them began to say: if you give us something, we will tell you where your books are. Give us the whole lot. I swore that I would give it, I would certainly give it, even if for Christ’s sake I had to beg all over the world; here, if you want, take my passport as collateral. They said that my books are being transported in the convoy, with other stolen things that were searched in them. How can I get them? Ask the captain who is leading us. I rushed to the captain and explained in detail. By the way, he asked me: do you really know how to read the Bible? Not only can I read everything, I replied, but I can also write: you will see an inscription on the Bible that it is mine; and here is the same name and nickname in my passport. The captain began to say: These rogues are fugitive soldiers, they lived in a dugout and robbed many. They were caught yesterday by a clever dachshund, from whom they wanted to beat off the three. I think I will give you your books when they are here; but you come with us to spend the night; it is not far, four versts, otherwise we will not stop the stage and the caravan for you. I happily went to the captain’s mounted horse and talked to him. I saw that he was a good and honest man, and no longer young. He asked me who I was, where I was from and where I was going. I answered everything truthfully; and so we reached the overnight stage hut. Having found my books, he gave them to me, and said: where are you going now at night, spend the night here in my hall. I stayed.

            When I received the books, I was so happy that I did not know how to thank God; I pressed the books to my chest and held them until my hands became numb. Tears of joy flowed from my eyes, and my heart beat sweetly with delight!

            The captain, looking at me, asked: It seems that you like to read the Bible. I could not answer anything from joy, I only cried. He continued: I myself, brother, carefully read the Gospel every day. At the same time, he unbuttoned his uniform and took out a small Gospel from the Kyiv press, all forged in silver. Sit down, I will tell you what brought me to this. But serve us dinner!

            We sat down at the table, the captain began to tell: I served in the army from a young age, not in the garrison; I knew the service and was loved by my superiors, like a proper ensign. But the years were young, and so were my friends; unfortunately I got used to drinking, and in the end I developed a drinking problem; if I didn’t drink, I was a proper officer, and if I smoked, I was bedridden for six weeks. They put up with me for a long time, and finally, because of the boss’s rudeness, they made me drunk, demoted me to a soldier for three years, with a transfer to the garrison; and if I didn’t get better and quit drinking, they threatened me with the most severe punishment. In this unfortunate state, no matter how hard I tried to abstain, and no matter how much I was treated for it, I couldn’t leave my passion, and that’s why they wanted to transfer me to the prison camps. Hearing this, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

            Once I was sitting in the barracks, thinking. Suddenly a monk entered us with a book for church collection. Whoever could, they gave him. He, approaching me, asked: “Why are you so sad?” I, talking to him, told him my grief; the monk, sympathizing with my situation, began: the same thing happened to my own brother, and this is what helped him: his spiritual father gave him the Gospel, and strictly ordered that if he wanted wine, he should not read a chapter from the Gospel at all; if he wanted it again, he should read the next chapter again. My brother began to do this, and in a short time his passion for drinking disappeared, and now he has not taken a drop of intoxicating drink in his mouth for fifteen years. Do the same, you will see the benefits. I have a Gospel, I will probably bring it to you.

            Having heard this, I said to him: Where can your Gospel help, when neither my efforts nor medical aids could keep me? I said this because I have never read the Gospel. Don’t say that, the monk objected, I assure you that it will be useful. The next day the monk brought me this Gospel. I opened it, looked at it, read it, and said: I will not take it; you will not understand anything here; and I am not used to reading the church seal. The monk continued to convince me that there is a grace-giving power in the words of the Gospel; for it is written in it what God Himself said. It is not necessary that you do not understand, only read diligently. One saint said: if you do not understand the Word of God, then the demons understand what you are reading and tremble; for the passion of drunkenness is certainly due to the excitement of the demons. But I will tell you one more thing: John Chrysostom writes that even the very temple in which the Gospel is kept frightens the spirits of darkness and is inconveniently accessible for their wiles. I don’t remember – I gave something to that monk, took this Gospel from him, and put it in a box with my other things and forgot about it. After a while, it was time for me to ask, I wanted wine so badly, and I quickly opened the box to get the money and run to the tavern. The first thing that caught my eye was the Gospel, and I quickly remembered everything that the monk had told me, opened it and began to read the first chapter of Matthew first. Having read it to the end, I didn’t understand anything; and I remembered that the monk said: there is no need if you don’t understand, just read it carefully. Let me read another chapter, I think; I read it and it became clearer. Give me a third one; as soon as I started it, suddenly the bell rang in the barracks: to the beds. So, it was no longer possible to go beyond the gate; so I stayed.

            Having risen in the morning, and having settled down to go for wine, I thought: I will read a chapter from the Gospel, – what will happen? I read it and did not go. I wanted wine again; I began to read again and it became easier. This encouraged me; and with each urge to drink I began to read, beginning with the Gospel. The further, the easier it became, finally, as soon as I finished all four Evangelists, the passion for drinking completely passed, and I became disgusted with it. And now for exactly twenty years I have not consumed any intoxicating drink at all.

            Everyone was surprised by this change: after three years they promoted me to the rank of officer again, and then to the next ranks, and finally they made me a commander. I got married, my wife got a good job, we made a fortune, and now, thank God, we live, and we help the poor, by the power of our urine, we accept strange people. Now my son is an officer and a handsome boy.

            Listen, since I was cured of drunkenness, I have vowed to myself to read the Gospel every day, for the rest of my life, through the entire Evangelist per day; despite any obstacles. That is what I do now. If there is a lot going on at work, and I get very tired, then in the evening, when I go to bed, I force my wife or my son to read the entire Evangelist over me, and so I unfailingly fulfill this rule of mine. In gratitude and for the glory of God, I have this Gospel set in pure silver, and I always carry it on my chest.

            I listened to the captain’s speeches with pleasure, and told him: I saw the same example: in our village, at the factory, a craftsman was very skilled in his craft, a good and dear craftsman, but unfortunately he also got drunk, and often. One God-fearing man advised him that when he wanted wine, he should say 33 Jesus prayers, in honor of the Holy Trinity, and according to the number of thirty-three years of Jesus Christ’s earthly life. The craftsman obeyed, began to do this, and soon stopped drinking. And what else? Three years later he went to a monastery.

            And which is higher, the captain asked, – the Jesus Prayer or the Gospel? – It’s all the same, I answered, – the Gospel is the Jesus Prayer; for the Divine Name of Jesus Christ contains all the Gospel truths. The Holy Fathers say that the Jesus Prayer is a summary of the entire Gospel.

            Finally we prayed; the captain began to read the Gospel of Mark from the beginning, and I listened and composed a prayer in my heart. At two o’clock in the morning the captain finished the Evangelist, and we went to rest.

            As usual, I got up early in the morning; everyone was still asleep, and as soon as it began to dawn, I rushed to my beloved Dobrotolyubi. With what joy I opened it! It was as if I had seen my own father who was in a distant land, or as if a friend who had risen from the dead. I lobbied him and thanked God for returning it to me; I immediately began to read “Theolyptus of Philadelphia,” in the 2nd part of Dobrotolyubi. I was surprised by his teaching, in which he suggests at the same time, to the same man, to perform three disparate tasks: sitting at the table, he says, give food to the body, reading to the ears, and prayer to the mind. But the memory of the past, joyful evening, actually allowed me to think this way. And here the secret was revealed to me that the mind and the heart are not one and the same.

            When the captain rose, I went out to thank him for his kindness and to take leave of him. He gave me tea, gave me a full glass, and took leave of me. So I went on my way, rejoicing.

            Having passed the verst, I remembered that I had promised the soldiers the whole, which I now unexpectedly have. Should I give it to them or not? One thought told me: they beat and robbed you, and you can’t use it to their advantage, because they are under arrest. And another thought imagined something else: remember that it is written in the Bible: “  If your enemy wants to, drown him . . Having convinced myself, I turned back, and as soon as I approached the stage, all the well workers were brought out to drive me to the next station; I quickly ran up, put the whole that was in my hands in my hands, and said: repent and pray: Jesus Christ is a lover of humanity, He will not leave you! And with that I left them and went the other way on my way.

            Having passed 50 versts on the main road, I decided to turn onto a side road for greater solitude and convenient reading. I walked for a long time through the forests, occasionally coming across small villages. Sometimes I would sit in the forest all day, diligently reading the Book of Charity; I gained much and wonderful knowledge from it. My heart was inflamed with desire for union with God, with the help of inner prayer, which I sought to learn, under the guidance and verification of the Book of Charity; and at the same time I was sad that I had not yet found a refuge where I could calmly engage in constant reading.

            At this time I also read my Bible and felt that I began to understand it more clearly, not as before, when so much seemed incomprehensible to me, and I often encountered astonishment. The holy fathers rightly say that Charity is the key to the discovery of the mysteries in the Holy Scriptures. Guided by this, I began to partially understand the secret meaning of the Word of God; it began to be revealed to me what the inner secret of the heart of man is, what true prayer is, what worship in the spirit is, what the kingdom is within us, what the ineffable petition of the sighing Holy Spirit is, what you will be in me, what give me your heart, what it means to put on Christ, what it means to betroth the Spirit in our hearts: Father, etc., etc. When I began to pray with my heart, everything that surrounded me appeared to me in a wonderful form: trees, grass, birds, earth, air, light, everything seemed to tell me that they exist for man, testify to God’s love for man, and everything prays, everything sings the glory of God. And from this I understood what is called in the Dobrotolyubia “leading the words of creatures” and saw a way in which one can speak with God’s creations.

            I wandered for a long time. Finally, I came to such a remote place that for three days I did not come across a single village. All my rusks were gone, and I was very sad so as not to die of hunger. When I began to pray with my heart, my despair passed, I completely surrendered to the will of God, and I became cheerful and calm. After walking a few miles along the road that lay near a huge forest, I saw a yard dog ahead of me that had run out of that forest; I beckoned to it, and it came up and began to caress itself near me; I rejoiced and thought: this is God’s mercy! – there must be a herd grazing in this forest, and, of course, it is a shepherd’s pet dog, or perhaps a hunter going hunting; either way, but at least I can beg for a little bread, because I have not eaten for another day, or I can ask where there is a village nearby. Returning to me, and seeing that there was nothing to take from me, the dog ran off again into the forest along the narrow path by which it had come to the road. I followed it; having gone two hundred fathoms, I saw between the trees that the dog had gone into a hole, from which, looking out, it began to bark.

            A man, thin, pale, middle-aged, comes out through a thick tree. He asks me how I got here? I ask him why he is here? And we talk pleasantly. The man calls me to his dugout and announces to me that he is a policeman and guards this forest, which has been sold for logging. He offers me bread and salt, and a conversation begins between us. I envy you, I said, that you can live so comfortably alone from people, unlike me – I wander from place to place, and I bump into all sorts of people. If there is hunting, he says, then you probably live here too, there is an old dugout not far away, the former watchman’s, although it has fallen down, but in the summer you can still live there. You have a passport. We will have bread, they bring it to me every week from our village; there is also a stream that never runs dry. I myself, brother, have been eating only bread and drinking water for ten years, and never anything else. Yes, that’s the thing, in the fall, when the peasants finish working, two hundred workers will come here, and they will cut down this forest, and then I will have nothing here, and they will not let you live here either.

            Having heard all this, I was so overjoyed that I would have fallen at his feet. I did not know how to thank God for such mercy. What I had longed for, what I wanted, I now unexpectedly receive. There are still four more months until deep autumn, and therefore I can take advantage of this time of silence and peace, convenient for attentive reading of the Book of Charity, for study and for achieving unceasing prayer in my heart. So I happily stayed until the time came to live in the dugout indicated to me. We talked even more with this simple brother; he began to tell me about his life and his thoughts.

            I was, he said, not the least of people in my village, I had skills, I dyed kumak and blued paint, and I lived in abundance, although not without sin: I cheated a lot in trade, swore in vain; I cursed my mother-in-law, got drunk and fought. There was an old clerk in our village who had an old, old book about the Last Judgment. He used to go to Orthodox churches, and he reads, and they give him money for it; he used to go to me too. Sometimes you give him ten kopecks, and he would even give you a rooster. So I used to listen, sitting at work, and he would read about what torments we will have in hell, how the living will change and the dead will rise, how God will come down to judge, how the Angels will blow their trumpets and what fire, pitch there will be, and how the worm will eat sinners. Once, when I was listening to this, I became scared, I thought: I will not escape torment! Wait, I’ll have to save my soul, maybe I’ll even atone for my sins. I thought and thought, and then I gave up my trade, sold the house, and, since I was lonely, went to the police station so that the world would give me bread, clothes, and wax candles for my pilgrimage.

            That’s how I’ve been living here for over 10 years; I eat only once a day, and that’s one loaf of bread with water; every night I get up at the first roosters and bow to the light; when I pray, I light seven candles in front of the icons. During the day, when I’m looking for a forest, I wear two poods of chains on my naked body. I don’t swear at my stepmother, I don’t drink wine or beer, and I don’t fight with anyone, I don’t know women or girls by birth.

            At first I was more willing to live like this, but towards the end I was attacked by persistent thoughts. God knows whether you will pray for your sins, but life is hard. And is it true what is written in the book? Where does it seem that a person will be resurrected? Another has already died a hundred years or more, and his ashes are no longer there. And who knows whether there will be hell or not? After all, no one from the other world has come; it seems that when a person dies and rots, he disappears without a trace. Perhaps the priests and the bosses themselves wrote the book to scare us fools into living more modestly. So you live in labor on earth and you will not be comforted by anything, and there will be nothing in the other world, so what does it matter? Isn’t it better to live cooler and more cheerfully on earth at least? These thoughts are fighting me, he continued, and I’m afraid I won’t take up my former master craft again!

            Hearing this, I felt sorry for him, and thought to myself: they say that only scholars and intelligent people are freethinkers and do not believe in anything, and here are our brothers – simple peasants who plot disbelief! It is evident that the dark world is allowed to have access to everyone, and perhaps it attacks the simple ones more conveniently. As much as possible, one can be cunning and strengthen oneself against the enemy of the soul with the Word of God. Therefore, in order to help and support the faith in this brother as much as possible, I took Benevolent Love from my bag, found the chapter of the Monk Hesychius, read it and began to explain to him that abstinence from sins, fear for the sake of torment, is not successful and fruitless, and it is impossible for the soul to free itself from imaginary sins, nor to be preserved from mental sins. So all this is acquired by inner prayer, and not only, I added, fear for the torments of hell, but even desire for the kingdom of heaven, if someone begins to perform saving feats, then the holy fathers also call this a mercenary work. They say that fear of torment is the path of a slave, and the desire for reward in the kingdom is the path of a mercenary. And God wants us to walk towards Him in the way of filial piety, that is, out of love and diligence towards Him to behave honestly and to enjoy the saving union with Him in soul and heart.

            No matter how much you exhaust yourself, go through all the physical labors and feats you want; but if you do not always have God in your mind, and the unceasing Jesus prayer in your heart, you will never be calm from your thoughts, and you will always be inclined to sin, even in the smallest cases. Take up, brother, to make the Jesus prayer without ceasing; for it is possible and convenient for you in this solitude; you will soon see the benefit. No ungodly thoughts will come to you, faith and love for Jesus Christ will be revealed to you; you will learn how the dead will rise, and the terrible judgment will appear to you as it truly will be. And in your heart there will be such ease and joy from prayer that you will be surprised and will no longer be bored and confused about your saving life.

            Then, as best I could, I explained to him how to begin and how to continue the Jesus Prayer without ceasing, and how the Word of God commands it, and the holy fathers teach it. He seemed to agree with this, and calmed down. After that, I separated from him and locked myself in the old dugout indicated to me.

            My God! what joy, peace and delight I felt as soon as I crossed the threshold of this cave or, rather, the tomb; it seemed to me a wonderful royal palace, full of every comfort and joy. With joyful tears I thanked God, and thought: now, in such peace and quiet, I must carefully go about my business and ask the Lord for guidance. So, I began, first, to read the Philosopher’s Stone, everything in order, from beginning to end, with great attention. In a short time I read everything, and saw what wisdom, holiness and depth it contained. But since it wrote about many different subjects, and with various instructions from the holy fathers, I could not understand everything and bring together in one place all that I wanted to learn, especially about interior prayer, in order to derive from it the method of studying continuous automatic prayer in the heart. And I really wanted this, according to the commandment of God through the Apostle:  Be zealous for great gifts   and also:  Do ​​not quench the Spirit   . I thought, I thought, what to do? My mind is not enough, the concept too, there is no one to explain. I will begin to bother the Lord with prayer; Maybe the Lord will somehow give me a hint. After that, I did nothing for a whole day, as soon as I was in unceasing prayer, without ceasing for the slightest moment; my thoughts calmed down and I fell asleep: and then I see in a dream that I am in the cell of my deceased elder, and he is explaining the Philosopher’s Stone, and he says: this holy book is full of great wisdom. It is a mysterious treasure of understanding the secret destinies of God. It is not available in all places, and not to everyone; however, according to the measure of each understanding person, it contains such instructions, for the wise – wise, for the simple – simple. And therefore you, my beloved, should not read it in the order in which the books of St. parents one after another. There this order is theological; and an unlearned person who wants to learn from the Charity of the interior prayer should read it in the following order:

            1) First, read the book of Nicephorus the Monk (in 2 parts); then 2) the entire book of Gregory of Sinai, except for short chapters; 3) Symeon the New Theologian on the three forms of prayer and a word on faith; and after this 4) the book of Callistus and Ignatius. These fathers contain complete instruction and teaching on the inner prayer of the heart, understandable to everyone.

            And if you wish to see an even clearer instruction on prayer, then find at 4 o’clock the image of a short prayer by the holy patriarch Callistus of Constantinople. As if holding my Benevolent Love in my hands, I began to search for the said instruction, but I could not find it for a long time. The elder himself, having turned over a few pages, said: Here it is! I will help you with it, and picking up a coal from the ground, he underlined in the margin of the book, opposite the article he had found. I listened attentively to everything the elder said and tried to remember it as firmly and in detail as possible.

            I woke up, and while it was still not dawn, I lay there and repeated in my memory everything that I had seen in my dream and what the elder had told me. Finally I began to think: God knows whether the soul of the deceased elder is mine, or whether my own thoughts are so adjusted, because I often and a lot think about Dobrotolyubstvo and the elder? With this surprise I got up, it was already dawning. And what? I see on the stone that was instead of a table in my dugout, Dobrotolyubstvo stretched out in the same place that the elder had shown me, and underlined with charcoal, exactly as I had seen in my dream, even the charcoal itself was lying next to the book. This surprised me, because I firmly remember that the book had not been there since the evening; it lay rolled up in my head, and I also know for sure that there had been no note in the place shown before. This incident assured me of the truth of the dream and of the God-pleasingness of my elder’s blessed memory. So I began to read the Book of Charity, in the same order that the elder had shown me. I read it once, and read the same thing again and again, and this reading kindled in my soul a desire and diligence to put everything I had read into practice. It became clear and clearly revealed to me what inner prayer means, what are the means to achieve it, and what comes from it, and how it delights the soul and heart, and how to recognize this delight, whether it is from God, or from nature, or from beauty.

            So, first of all, I set about finding the place of the heart, according to the instructions of Symeon the New Theologian. Closing my eyes, I looked with my mind, that is, with my imagination, at the heart, wanting to imagine what it was like in the left half of the chest, and I listened attentively to its beating. At first I practiced this for half an hour, several times a day; at first I noticed nothing but darkness; then soon the heart began to appear and signify movement in it; then, I began to introduce and bring out the Jesus Prayer together with breathing into the heart, according to the instructions of Saint Gregory of Sinai, Callistus, and Ignatius, that is, drawing in air, with mental gazing into the heart, I imagined and said: Lord Jesus Christ, and with the release of air: have mercy. At first I practiced this for an hour, and then for two, then the further I went, the more often I began to practice this way, and finally I spent almost the whole day in this occupation. When burden or laziness or doubt attacked, I immediately began to read in the Book of Charity those passages that instruct about the heart’s work, and again there was a hunt and diligence in prayer. In three weeks I began to feel pain in my heart, then a kind of pleasant warmth in it, joy and peace. This excited and encouraged me more and more diligently to practice prayer, so that all my thoughts were occupied with it and I felt great joy. From that time on, I began to feel different moods in my heart and mind. Sometimes it happened that somehow a delight bubbled in my heart, there was such lightness, freedom and comfort in it that I was completely changed and delighted. Sometimes I felt a fiery love for Jesus Christ and for all of God’s creation. Sometimes sweet tears of gratitude to the Lord for having mercy on me, a wretched sinner. Sometimes my previously absurd notions became so clear that I could easily understand and reflect on things that I had never even thought of before. Sometimes a sweet warmth of the heart spread throughout my entire being and I felt touchingly the presence of God everywhere with me. Sometimes I felt the greatest joy in calling upon the name of Jesus Christ, and I understood what was meant by what was said to him:  The kingdom of God is within you  .

            Experiencing such and similar pleasurable pleasures, I noticed that the effects of heartfelt prayer are revealed in three ways: in the spirit, in feelings, and in revelations; in the spirit, for example, the sweetness of God’s love, inner peace, rapture of the mind, purity of thoughts, sweet remembrance of God; in the feelings, a pleasant warming of the heart, the filling of all members with sweetness, joyful boiling in the heart, lightness and cheerfulness, the pleasantness of life, insensitivity to illnesses and sorrows. In revelations, enlightenment of the mind, the concept of sacred scripture, knowledge of the words of the creature, liberation from vanity and the knowledge of the delight of the inner life, assurance of God’s closeness and love for us.

            Having spent five months alone in this prayerful occupation and enjoying the aforementioned sensations, I became so accustomed to heartfelt prayer that I practiced it continuously, and finally I felt that prayer was already produced and uttered by itself, without any prompting from me, in my mind and heart, it did not speak in my mind; but even in sleep it acted in the same way, and was not interrupted by anything – it did not cease for a moment, no matter what I did. My soul thanked the Lord and my heart stood in unceasing joy.

            The time for felling the forest had come, the people began to gather, and I had to leave my silent home. Having thanked the policeman, I prayed, kissed the piece of land on which God had granted me, an unworthy man of His grace, put on my bag with books, and set off. I wandered for a long time in different places until I reached Irkutsk. Heartfelt, spontaneous prayer was a consolation and comfort all along the way, at all meetings, it never ceased to delight me, albeit in different degrees, wherever I was, whatever I did, whatever I was engaged in, it did not interfere with anything and was not diminished by anything. If I am working, and prayer is in my heart by itself and the work goes faster; if I listen attentively to something, or read, and prayer does not cease, and I feel both at the same time, as if I were split in two, or two souls in one body of mine. My God! What a mysterious person!

      May your works be magnified, O Lord: you have created all wisdom! . Many wonderful incidents and events happened on my way. If I were to tell them all, it would take a whole day. But here, for example: one winter evening, I was walking alone through the woods to spend the night in a village, which was already two versts away. Suddenly a large wolf attacked and rushed at me. I had the old man’s woolen rosary beads in my hands (I always had them with me). So I waved the wolf’s boat away with them. And what? The rosary beads escaped from my hands and somehow got caught right on the wolf’s neck, the wolf rushed away from me and, jumping over a thorn bush, got entangled with its hind legs in the bush, and with its claws it caught on the branch of a dry tree, and began to fight; but it was inconvenient for him to free himself, because the rosary beads pulled his neck. I crossed myself with faith, and went with the intention of freeing the wolf; and even more so because I thought that if he tore off the rosary and ran away with it, my precious rosary would be lost too. As soon as I went up and took hold of the rosary, the wolf actually tore it off and ran away. So, thanking God and remembering my blessed elder, I reached the village safely; I came to the inn and asked to spend the night. I went into the hut. In the front corner at the table were two men, one an old man, the other a fat middle-aged man, who looked like they were not simpletons. They were eating tea. I asked the man who was with their horse who they were? He told me that the old man was a teacher at a public school, and the other a clerk in the zemstvo court: both noblemen. I was taking them to the fair, 20 versts from here. After sitting for a while, I asked the woman for a needle and thread, went to the candle, and began to sew my torn rosary beads. The clerk looked at me and said: You must have been bowing so diligently that you tore the rosary beads? I didn’t tear them, but the wolf… How, do wolves pray? – said the clerk, laughing. – I told them in detail how it happened, and how dear these rosary beads are to me. The clerk laughed again and began to say: you, you empty-handed saints, always have miracles! And what’s so holy about it? You just threw it at him, and the wolf got scared and ran away; because both dogs and wolves are afraid of throws, and it’s not surprising to get caught in the forest; not much happens in the world, so you have to believe in everything, what miracles? Hearing this, the teacher started a conversation with him: don’t conclude, sir, yes! You don’t know the scientific part… And I see in this man’s story the mystery of both sensual and spiritual nature… How is that so? – asked the clerk. And you see: although you have no further education, you have certainly deigned to teach a short sacred history of the old and new hook, published in questions and answers for schools. The elder, whose rosary these are, was a saint: and what does holiness mean? Nothing else than through the feats of returning the innocent state of the first man in a sinful man. When the soul is sanctified, the body is sanctified. The rosary was always in the hands of the sanctified; therefore, through the touch of his hands and his vapors, holy power was instilled into them – the power of the innocent state of the first man. Here is the mystery of spiritual nature!.. This power, by inheritance, is naturally felt by all animals to this day, and they feel it with the help of smell; for the nose in all beasts and animals is the chief instrument of the senses. Behold the mystery of the sensual nature!.. You, the learned,all the powers and wisdom; and we are so simple: just pour a glass of vodka and pop it, and you will have power, said the clerk, and went to the cupboard. That is your business, said the teacher, and I ask you to give us the scientific knowledge. I liked what the teacher said; and, going up to him, I said: I dare, father, to tell you something more about my elder, and I explained to him how he appeared to me in a dream, how he taught and how he emphasized Benevolence. The teacher listened to all this attentively. And the clerk, lying on the bench, grumbled: “It is true that they say that people go crazy and read the Bible. That is how it is! What kind of forester will draw on books for you at night? He simply dropped a book on the floor in his sleep and got it dirty in soot… Now you have a miracle? Oh! this will pass!” Having mumbled this, the scribe turned to the wall and fell asleep. Hearing this, I turned to the teacher and said; here, if you like, I will show you the same book, on which it is correctly underlined, and not smeared with soot. I took out Benevolence from my bag, and I show it, saying: I am amazed at this wisdom, how could a disembodied soul take coal and write?.. The teacher, looking at the note, began to say: and this is the mystery of spirits. I will explain it to you; you see: when spirits are in the corporeal form of a living person, they gather and compose for themselves a tangible body from air and luminous matter, and when they make their appearance, they return what they have occupied to those elements from which the composition of their body was drawn. And as air has elasticity, compressive and tensile power, then the soul, clothed in it, can take everything, act and write. – But what book is this that you have? Let me see! He unbent it and the word and language of Simeon the New Theologian opened. – Ah! it must be a theological book. I have never seen it… This book, father, consists almost entirely of the teaching on inner heartfelt prayer in the name of Jesus Christ; it is revealed here in all detail by twenty-five holy fathers. – And I know inner prayer, said the teacher… I bowed at his feet and asked him to tell me something about inner prayer. And here is what is said in the New Testament that man and all creaturesI wonder at this wisdom, how could a disembodied soul take coal and write?.. The teacher, looking at the note, began to say: and this is the mystery of spirits. I will explain it to you; you see: when spirits are in the bodily form of a living person, they gather and compose for themselves a tangible body from air and luminous matter, and when they make their appearance, they return what they have occupied to those elements from which the composition of their body was drawn. And since air has elasticity, compressive and tensile power, then the soul, clothed in it, can take everything, act and write. – But what is this book you have? Let me take a look! He unrolled it and the word and language of Simeon the New Theologian opened. – Ah! it must be a theological book. I have never seen it… This book, father, consists almost entirely of the teaching on inner heartfelt prayer in the name of Jesus Christ; it is revealed here in all its details by twenty-five holy fathers. – And I know interior prayer, said the teacher… I bowed at his feet and asked him to tell me something about interior prayer. And here is what the New Testament says, that man and all creaturesI wonder at this wisdom, how could a disembodied soul take coal and write?.. The teacher, looking at the note, began to say: and this is the mystery of spirits. I will explain it to you; you see: when spirits are in the bodily form of a living person, they gather and compose for themselves a tangible body from air and luminous matter, and when they make their appearance, they return what they have occupied to those elements from which the composition of their body was drawn. And since air has elasticity, compressive and tensile power, then the soul, clothed in it, can take everything, act and write. – But what is this book you have? Let me take a look! He unrolled it and the word and language of Simeon the New Theologian opened. – Ah! it must be a theological book. I have never seen it… This book, father, consists almost entirely of the teaching on inner heartfelt prayer in the name of Jesus Christ; it is revealed here in all its details by twenty-five holy fathers. – And I know interior prayer, said the teacher… I bowed at his feet and asked him to tell me something about interior prayer. And here is what the New Testament says, that man and all creatures The bustle is not subject to will  , and everything naturally sighs, yearns and desires to enter the freedom of the children of God; and this mysterious sigh of creatures and the innate aspiration of souls is inner prayer. There is nothing to learn about it, it is in everyone and in everything!.. But how can one find it, open it and feel it in one’s heart, realize it and accept it with one’s will, achieve that it clearly acts, delights, enlightens and saves? – I asked. I don’t remember if it is written about it anywhere in theological treatises, – the teacher answered. Here – here it is all written, I pointed out… The teacher took a pencil, wrote down the name Dobrotolyubiya, and said: I will definitely write this book out from Tobolsk and look into it. And so we parted.

            As I left, I thanked God for the conversation with the teacher, and I prayed for the scribe that the Lord would arrange for me to read the Book of Charity to him at least once, and teach him about salvation.

            And then again in the spring, when I came to a village, I had to stay with a priest. He was a kind and lonely man: I spent three days with him. Having examined me at this time, he began to tell me: stay with me, I will give you a salary; I need a conscientious person; you saw that a new stone church was being built behind the old wooden church. I cannot find a faithful person who would look after the workers and sit in the chapel to collect alms for the construction; but I see that you would be capable of this, and you would also live well on your way; you would sit alone in the chapel and pray to God, there is also a cell set aside for the watchman – please stay, although only for this time the church will be finished. Although I refused for a long time, I had to agree to the priest’s persuasive request. So I stayed for the summer until autumn. So I began to live in the chapel. At first I felt calm and comfortable practicing prayer, although many people came to the chapel, especially on holidays, some to pray, others to yawn, and others to pick something from the collection plate. And as I sometimes read the Bible, then the Book of Charity, some of those who came, seeing this, started a conversation with me, others asked me to read something to them.

            After some time I noticed that a certain peasant girl often went to the chapel and prayed to God for a long time. Listening to her mumbling, I learned that she recited some strange prayers, and others were completely distorted. I asked: who taught her this? She said that her mother, who was a church member, and her father a schismatic, were unchurched. Regretting all this, I advised her to recite the prayers correctly, according to the tradition of the Holy Church, and therefore I explained to her: Our Father, and the Virgin Mary, rejoice. And, finally, I said: say the Jesus Prayer more often and more; it is more profitable than all prayers to God, and through it you will receive the salvation of your soul. The girl accepted my advice with attention, and began to do so in simplicity. And what? After a short while she announced to me that she had become accustomed to the Jesus Prayer, that she felt the urge to engage in it continuously, if possible, and that when she prayed, she felt pleasure and, after finishing, joy and a desire to pray again. I was pleased with this and advised her to continue praying in the name of Jesus Christ.

            The time was approaching the end of summer; many of those who come to the chapel began to come to me, not only for reading and advice, but also with various life sorrows, and even for the recognition of the search for losses and disappearances; apparently, others considered me a fortune teller. Finally, the aforementioned girl came in grief for advice, what to do? Her father intended to marry her involuntarily to a schismatic, also from the Bezpoposhchyna, and a peasant would marry her. What kind of legal marriage is this, she exclaimed, it doesn’t matter! I want to run wherever my eyes look. I said to her: where will you run away? After all, they will find you again. Now you will not hide anywhere without a trace, they will search everywhere; but it is better to pray more diligently to God for this, that He may destroy your father’s intention with His destinies and preserve your soul from sin and heresy. This will be safer than your escape.

            Time went on and it became unbearably noisy and tempting for me. Finally, the summer ended, I dared to leave the chapel and continue, as before, on my way. I came to the priest and began to say to him: You, father, know my disposition. I need silence for prayer, and here there is too much entertainment for me and it is harmful. So I have fulfilled your obedience, I have lived the summer: now let me go and bless me for a secluded path. The priest did not want to let me go, and he began to persuade me: what prevents you from praying here? After all, you have no business except to sit in the chapel, and you have bread ready. You must pray there day and night; live, brother, with God! You are capable and useful for this place, you do not chatter about the little things that come, but you bring income and collect for the church of God, right. This is better before God than your secluded prayer. What do you do alone, praying with people is even more fun. God created man not so that he would know only himself, but so that people would help each other, lead each other to salvation, each in his own way. Look at the saints and the world teachers, they worked day and night and cared for the church, and they preached everywhere, and did not sit alone and did not hide from people.

            To each, father, God gives his own; there were many preachers, there were many hermits. Whoever found in himself a certain inclination, he did so and believed that God Himself showed him the path of salvation in this. And how do you judge this for me: that many saints left the rank of hierarch, abbot and priest and fled to secluded deserts, so as not to be ashamed among the people? Thus St. Isaac the Syrian fled from his episcopal flock; thus the Venerable Athanasius of Athos abandoned his numerous monastery; and precisely because those places were tempting for them, and because they truly believed the voice of Jesus Christ:  What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and forfeits his own soul  ?

            “But they were saints,” said the priest. “If saints,” I replied, “were careful not to be harmed by association with men, what could a helpless sinner do?” Finally I said goodbye to this good priest, and he lovingly sent me on my way.

            Having passed ten versts, I stopped to spend the night in a village. At this overnight stay I saw a desperately ill peasant, and advised those who were with him to give him communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. They agreed, and by morning they sent for a priest, to their parish village. I stayed to wait to venerate the holy gifts and pray for this great sacrament. I went out into the street, sat down on the porch, and waited to meet the priest. Suddenly, unexpectedly, the girl who had been wandering in the chapel ran out of the courtyard to me.

            How did you get here, I asked.

            We were to have a hand-to-hand fight to expose me as a schismatic, and I left. At the same time, bowing at my feet, she began to say: do me a favor, take me with you and take me to some nunnery; I do not wish to marry, I will live in a monastery to recite the Jesus Prayer. They will listen to you there and accept me.

            Have mercy, I said, where should I take you? I don’t know of any nunnery in this part of the country, and how can I go with you if you don’t have a passport? Since you won’t be accepted anywhere; and you can’t hide anywhere at this time, they’ll catch you right away, and send you back to your place, and even punish you for vagrancy. Better go home and pray to God, and if you don’t want to get married, then pretend to be in some kind of weakness. This is called a saving pretense; this is what St. Mother Clement and the Monk Marina, who sought refuge in a men’s monastery, and many others did.

            While we were sitting and thinking, we saw four men riding along the road on a horse, and they jumped straight up to us. They grabbed the girl, put her in a cart and sent her away with one man; and three tied my hands and drove me back to the village where I lived in the summer. To all my excuses, they only shouted: we will show you, holy one, how to seduce a girl! In the evening they brought me to the village council, shackled my feet in irons, and put me in prison until the morning, when they would gather to judge. The priest, having learned that I was in prison, came to visit me; he brought me dinner, comforted me and said that he would intercede for me and say, like a spiritual father, that I am not of the qualities they think of me. After sitting with me, he left.

            Later in the evening, the magistrate, passing through the village, stopped at the elected official’s; and he was told what had happened. He ordered a meeting to be called and me to be brought to the judge’s house. We went in, stood there waiting. So the magistrate came in, already full of courage, sat down at the table in his cap, and shouted: Hey, Epiphanes! After all, your daughter, the girl, didn’t take anything from the yard? Nothing, father! Hasn’t this fool been caught in any bad deeds? No, father! Yes, this is how we will judge the matter, and decide: you handle your daughter yourself; and tomorrow we will discipline and drive this young man away, and we will strongly order him not to show himself here again. That’s all! Having said this, the magistrate got down from the table and went to his place to sleep; and I was put back in prison. Early in the morning two came, a hundred and a tens, beat me up and let me go; and I went away, thanking God that he had counted me worthy to suffer for his name. This comforted me and further warmed my unceasing heartfelt prayer.

            All these events did not offend me in the least, as if they had happened to someone else, and I only saw them; even when they beat me, that was to be endured; the prayer that delighted the heart did not allow me to listen to anything.

            After four versts, I met the girl’s mother, who was coming home from the market with her purchases. When she saw me, she said to me: “Our fiancé has refused; you see he is angry with Akulka for running away from him.” Then she gave me bread and a pie, and I went on.

            The weather was dry, and I did not want to spend the night in a village; and when I saw two fenced haystacks in the forest in the evening, I settled down under them for the night. When I fell asleep, I saw in a dream that I was walking along the road and reading the chapters of Anthony the Great from Philanthropy. Suddenly, an elder caught up with me and said: you are not reading here, read here, and pointed to the 35th chapter of John the Carpathian, in which the following is written: sometimes the one who teaches gives himself up to dishonor and suffers temptations for those who have benefited from him spiritually. And he also pointed to the 41st chapter of the same, where it is said: the wise use prayer more vigorously, these are captivated by terrible and fierce temptations.

            Then he began to say: Be watchful in spirit and do not be troubled! Remember what the Apostle said:  Greater is that which is in you than that which is in the world. . Behold, now you have learned by experience that no temptation is greater than is common to man; but  with temptation God makes also a way of escape . The hope of this divine help strengthened and guided the zeal and diligence of the holy prayer-givers, who not only spent their lives in unceasing prayer themselves, but out of love taught and revealed this to others, at the opportunity and time. Saint Gregory of Thessalonica speaks of this thus: – not only is it fitting for us ourselves, according to the commandment of God, to pray unceasingly, in the name of Christ, but it is necessary to teach and reveal this to others as well, to all monks, laity, wise, simple, men, women and children, and to arouse diligence in all. Similarly, the Venerable Callistus of Antilycus says: – that neither mental activity about the Lord (i.e., interior prayer), nor contemplative knowledge, nor methods for extending the soul’s sorrow, should be kept in one’s mind alone, but should be written down, handed down in writing and exposition, for the common good. And the Word of God also says about this, that  brother helps brother, for the city is firm and high .

            Only in this case should one flee vanity in every way and guard against sowing the seeds of divine teaching to the wind. When I woke up, I felt great joy in my heart and strength in my soul, and I continued on my way.

            After that, after a long time, there was another incident; I will probably tell you about it: once, on March 24, I felt an irresistible desire to partake of the holy mysteries of Christ tomorrow, that is, on the day dedicated to the Most Pure Mother of God, in memory of Her Divine Annunciation, to partake of the holy mysteries of Christ. I asked how far the church was; they said 30 versts. So, I walked the rest of the day and all night to catch up to Matins. The weather was the worst, now snow, now rain, and also strong wind and cold. On the way, I had to cross a small stream, and as soon as I entered the middle of it, the ice broke under my feet and I plunged up to my waist into the water. So soaked, I arrived at Matins; I defended it and the luncheon, at which God deigned to let me partake.

            In order to spend this day in peace, without any interruptions to my spiritual joy, I asked the churchwarden to let me stay in the chapel until tomorrow. All that day I was in indescribable joy and sweetness of heart; I lay on the beds in this unheated chapel, as if I were resting in the bosom of Abraham: prayer had a powerful effect. Love for Jesus Christ and the Mother of God, like sweet waves, surged in my heart and seemed to immerse my soul in a comforting rapture. Towards nightfall I suddenly felt a strong thud in my legs, and I remembered that they were wet. Neglecting this, I began to listen to my heart more diligently with prayer and did not feel any pain. In the morning I wanted to get up, but I saw that I could not even move my legs; they had completely gone away and relaxed like whips; the churchwarden had to pull me off the floor with difficulty. And so I sat motionless for two days. On the third day, the guard started to kick me out of the hut, saying: if you die here, then follow me. I just crawled out somehow on my hands and lay down on the church porch.

            I lay there for two days. People who passed by me paid no attention to me or my pleas.

            Finally, a man came up to me, sat down, and started talking. By the way, he said, “What will you give me? I’ll cure you. It happened to me exactly like that; I know what this potion does. There’s nothing to give you,” I replied. “And what do you have in your bag? Some crackers and books. Well, will you do me a favor for at least one summer if I cure you? And I can’t work; you see that I only have one hand, and the other is almost completely dried up. So what can you do? Nothing, except that I can read and write. And write! Well, teach the boy to write, my little son, he doesn’t know how to read much, and I want him to write. But the masters ask a lot, 20 rubles for the training.” I agreed, and they dragged me and the guard away and put me in this man’s backyard in an old, empty bathhouse.

            So he began to treat me, he collected from the fields, in the yards and in the cesspools a whole quarter of various rotten bones, both cattle and birds, and all kinds: he washed them, and broke them into smaller pieces with a stone and put them in a large log; he covered them with a lid, which had a well on it, and then he threw them into an empty pot dug in the ground, and on top of the log he smeared clay thickly, and, having laid firewood on the fire, he burned them for more than a day, and as he put the wood on, he said: this will be tar from bones. The next day he dug a pot out of the ground, into which flowed through the well from the log half a yard of thick liquid, reddish, oily and smelling like raw, living meat; and the bones that were in the log, from black and rotten, became as white, clean, transparent as mother of pearl or pearls. I rubbed this liquid on my feet five times a day. And what? On the second day I felt that I could move my fingers; on the third I could already bend and straighten my legs, and on the fifth day I stood on them and walked around the yard with a stick. In short, after a week my legs were completely strong, as before. I thanked God for this, and thought to myself: what wisdom God has in creatures! Dry bones that have rotted, almost completely surrendered to the earth, retain such vital force, color, smell and effect on living bodies and seem to give life to dead bodies. This is a pledge of the future resurrection of bodies. I would like to show this to that policeman with whom I lived, given his doubts about the general resurrection!

            Having recovered in this way, I began to teach the boy, wrote instead of the prescription – the Jesus Prayer; I made him copy it, showing him how to pronounce the words correctly. It was easy for me to teach him, because he served the manager during the day and came to me to study only when the manager was sleeping, that is, from dawn to late dinners. The boy was intelligent and soon began to write something. When the manager saw what he was writing, he asked him: Who teaches you? The boy said that he was an armless traveler who lives with us in an old bathhouse. An interesting manager from Poland came to see me and found me reading Dobrotolyubstva. Having talked with me, he asked: what are you reading? I showed him the book. – Ah! this is Dobrotolyubstva, he said. I saw this book at our priest’s when I lived in Vilnius; but I have heard of it that it contains some strange tricks and arts for prayer, written by Greek monks, just as in India and Bukhari fanatics sit and puff themselves up, trying to have a tickle in their hearts, and foolishly we revere this natural feeling. We must pray simply for the purpose of fulfilling our duty to God; get up and read  the Our Father  , as Christ taught; that is right for the whole day, and not to constantly do the same thing; then you will probably go crazy, and you will also damage your heart.

            Do not think so, father, about this holy book. It was not written by simple Greek monks, but by ancient great and holy people whom your church also honors, such as Anthony the Great, Macarius the Great, Mark the Ascetic, John Chrysostom, and others. And the Indian and Bukhara monks also adopted from them the heart-based method of interior prayer, but only corrupted and distorted it themselves, as my elder told me. And in the Dobrotolyubiya all the instructions about the heart-based prayer action are drawn from the Word of God, from the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ, who commanded to read:  Our Father  , also commanded unceasing heart-based prayer, saying:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind ;  watch, be vigilant and pray ;  be in Me, and I in you . And the holy fathers, citing the testimony of St. King David from the Psalter:  Taste and see how good the Lord is , they interpret it as meaning that a Christian should seek and attain sweetness in prayer by all means and seek consolation in it without ceasing, and not simply, only once a day, read  the Our Father  . Here I will read to you how these saints condemn those who do not strive to acquire and study sweet heartfelt prayer. They write that such people sin in the following: 1) that they contradict the inspired Scriptures, 2) that they do not assume the highest and most perfect state for the soul, but being satisfied with only external virtues, they cannot have the hunger and thirst for truth, and therefore they are deprived of the bliss and joy of the Lord in virtues, often falling into charm or pride and thereby deviate. You are reading something lofty, said the steward; where should we worldly people chase after this! Here I will read to you more simply about how good people learned to pray without ceasing even in their worldly life. I found in Dobrotolyubiya a word by Symeon the New Theologian about the young George and began to read.

            The manager liked it, and he said to me: let me read this book, in my free time, when I have examined it. I will probably give it for a day, but I can’t do more, because I read it every day, and I cannot be without it. But at least write down for me what you have just read; I will pay you. I do not need your wages, and I will write it down so lovingly that God will give you diligence in prayer. I immediately copied out the word I had read with pleasure. He read it to his wife, and they both liked it. Now sometimes they began to send for me. I went to them with Benevolent Love; I read there, and they, sitting over tea, listened. Once they left me to dine. The manager’s wife, a kind old woman, was sitting with us and eating fried fish. Once, through carelessness, she choked on a bone; who did not make her any help, could not relieve her, she felt a severe pain in her throat and after two hours she lay down. They sent for a doctor 30 versts away, and I, regretting it, went home, already in the evening.

            At night, in a subtle dream, I hear the voice of my elder, but I see no one; the voice said to me: your master has cured you, and why don’t you help the stewardess? God has commanded us to have compassion for our neighbor. I would gladly help, but with what? I don’t know of any remedy. But here’s what you should do: from the very beginning of her life she has had an aversion to wood oil, and not only can she not use it, but she can’t even bear the smell of it without nausea; so give her a spoonful of wood oil to drink, she will start to vomit, the bone will vomit, and the wound in her throat that the bone scratched will be smeared with the oil, and she will recover. So, how can I give it to her when she has an aversion – she won’t drink? You ordered the steward to hold her head, and suddenly, even if by force, pour it into her mouth. When I woke up, I immediately went to the steward and told him everything in detail. He says he will make your oil now? She is already wheezing and delirious, and her neck is all swollen. However, we will probably try it; oil is a harmless medicine, although it will not help. He poured some wood oil into a glass, and we let her swallow it in parts. Immediately she began to vomit violently and soon the bone came up with blood; she felt better and fell asleep soundly.

            In the morning I came to visit, and saw that she was sitting calmly over tea, and together with her husband they were amazed at the cure, and moreover, as I was told in a dream, that she did not like wood oil, because no one but them both knew this. Then the doctor arrived, the housekeeper told what had happened to her, and I told her how my husband had cured my legs. The doctor, having listened, said: neither case is strange; the force of nature itself was at work in both of them, but for the sake of memory I will write it down; he took out a pencil and wrote it down in a memory book.

            After this, a rumor soon spread throughout the surrounding area that I was a seer, a doctor, and a healer; people from all sides began to come to me incessantly with their various affairs and cases, brought me gifts and began to honor and entreat me. For about a week I looked at this, and, afraid, lest I fall into vanity and be harmed by absent-mindedness, I secretly left there at night.

            So I set out on my solitary path again, and felt such lightness that it was as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders. Prayer comforted me more and more, so that sometimes my heart boiled with boundless love for Jesus Christ, and from this sweet boiling, as it were, streams of comfort poured through all my joints. The memory of Jesus Christ was so imprinted in my mind that, reflecting on the Gospel events, I seemed to see them before my eyes, I was moved and wept joyfully, sometimes I felt a joy in my heart that I cannot even describe. It happened that sometimes I did not enter human settlements for three days and in rapture felt as if I were alone on earth, a single cursed sinner before a merciful and human-loving God. This solitude comforted me, and the joy of prayer for him was much more tangible than in people.

            Finally I reached Irkutsk. Having bowed to the holy relics of Saint Innocent, I began to think to myself: where should I go now? And I did not want to live here for a long time, because the city is crowded. I walked thoughtfully along the street; then a local merchant met me, stopped me and began to say: are you a traveler? Why don’t you come to me? We came with him to his rich house. He asked me what kind of person I was, and I told him my origin. After listening, he began to tell me: why don’t you go to old Jerusalem. There is a shrine there, the like of which is nowhere else! I would gladly go, I replied, but I do not have the means to do so by land; I can go to the sea, but there is nothing to pay for crossing the sea, it takes a lot of money. If you wish, said the merchant, I will provide you with a means; last year I already sent one old man from our townspeople there. I fell at his feet, and he began to say: Listen, I will give you a letter to my own son in Odessa; he lives there and has trade relations with Constantinople; he has ships, and he will gladly take you to Constantinople, and there he orders his stewards to hire you a place on a ship to Jerusalem and pay the money. After all, it does not cost very much. Hearing this, I rejoiced, thanked my benefactor a lot for his kindness, and thanked God even more that He shows me such fatherly love and care for me, a wretched sinner who does no good, neither to himself nor to people, and a tuna who eats other people’s bread in idleness. And so I stayed with this benevolent merchant for three days. He wrote me a letter to his son about me, according to his promise; and now I am going to Odessa with the intention of reaching St. of the city of Jerusalem: but I do not know whether the Lord will allow us to worship His life-bearing coffin.

STORY THREE.

            Before leaving Irkutsk, I went to the spiritual father with whom I had been talking, and said to him: Here I am, already on my way to Jerusalem; I have come to say goodbye and thank you for your Christian love for me, an unworthy traveler. He said to me: May God bless your journey. But why haven’t you told me anything about yourself, who you are and where you come from? I have heard a lot from you about your travels; it would be interesting to learn about your origin and life before your travels.

            Okay, I said, I’ll be happy to tell you that too. It’s not a long story.

            I was born in a village in the Oryol province. After my father and mother, there were only two of us left, me and my older brother. He was ten years old, and I was two years old, the third. So my grandfather took us in for food; he was a wealthy and honest old man, he kept an inn on a major road, and because of his kindness, many visitors stayed with him. We began to live with him; my brother was lively and always ran around the village, and I hung around my grandfather more. On holidays, we went to church with him, and at home he often read the Bible, the same one I have. My brother grew up and became spoiled – he got used to drinking. I was already seven years old; Once I was lying on the stove with my brother, and he pushed me off it and damaged my left hand. Since then, I still don’t use it – it’s all dried up.

            Grandfather, seeing that I would not be capable of rural work, began to teach me to read, and since we did not have an alphabet, he taught me from the same Bible, somehow: by pointing out the basics, he forced me to form words and notice the letters. I myself do not understand how, insisting on following him, I learned to read over time. And finally, when my grandfather began to see poorly, he often forced me to read the Bible, and he himself listened and corrected. We often had a zemstvo scribe who wrote beautifully, I watched, and I liked the way he wrote. So I myself, following his example, began to write words, he pointed out to me, gave me paper and ink, and adjusted my pens. That’s how I learned to write. Grandfather was happy about this, and instructed me like this: now God has opened the way to you to read, you will be a man, and therefore thank the Lord for this, and pray more often. So, we went to church for all the services, and we prayed very often at home; I was forced to read:  Have mercy on me, God  , while my grandfather and grandmother bowed or knelt. Finally, I was seventeen years old, and my grandmother died. My grandfather began to tell me: we don’t have a mistress in the house, what can we do without a grandmother? Your older brother is in trouble, I want to marry you. I pretended to be disabled, but my grandfather insisted, and they married me, choosing a strong and good girl, twenty years old. A year passed, and my grandfather became terminally ill. Calling me, he began to say goodbye and said: Here is your house and all your inheritance, live according to your conscience, don’t deceive anyone, but pray most of all to God, everything is from Him. Don’t hope for anything except God, go to church, read the Bible, and remember me and the old woman. Here is a thousand rubles of money for you, save it, don’t spend it in vain, but don’t be stingy either, give it to the beggars and the churches of God.

            So he died, and I buried him. My brother became jealous that the yard and the estate were given to me alone; he began to be angry with me, and the enemy helped him in this, so much so that he even intended to kill me. Finally, this is what he did at night, when we were asleep and there were no guests: he broke open the closet where the money was kept, took it out of the chest, and set the closet on fire. We heard it when the whole house and yard were on fire, and we barely jumped out of the window, only to be asleep.

            The Bible was lying under our heads, and we grabbed it with us. Watching our house burn, we said to ourselves: thank God! at least the Bible survived, at least we have something to console ourselves in our grief. So, all our property burned down, and our brother disappeared from us. We found out later, when he started drinking and bragging, that he had taken the money and set the yard on fire.

            We were left naked and barefoot, completely destitute, somehow we put a small hut in debt, and began to live as beggars. My wife was a needlewoman: she wove, spun, sewed, took work from people, but she worked day and night, and fed me. Because of my armlessness, I couldn’t even weave bast shoes. She would go and spin, and I would sit next to her, and read the Bible, and she would listen, and sometimes she would cry. When I asked her: what are you crying about? After all, thank God, we are alive. Then she would answer: it moves me that the Bible is written very well. We also remembered our grandfather’s command – we fasted often, read the akathist to the Mother of God every morning, and made a thousand prostrations at night so as not to be tempted. So we lived peacefully for two years. But here’s the strange thing, that although we had no idea about the inner prayer that takes place in the heart and had never heard of it, and prayed simply with our tongues, and bowed in vain, like fools who tossed and turned, and there was a rush to prayer, and long, external prayer without any concept did not seem difficult. Perhaps a teacher told me the truth, that there is a secret prayer within a person, of which he himself is not aware, as it happens by itself, unknown in the soul, and arouses to prayer, who knows what and how.

            After two years of this life of ours, my wife suddenly fell ill with a high fever and, having received communion, died on the ninth day. I was left alone, unable to do anything; I had to wander around, and it was shameful to beg for alms; besides, I was so overcome with grief for my wife that I did not know where to go. Whenever I would enter my hut and see her clothes or some handkerchief, I would howl and fall unconscious. So, I could no longer bear my longing, living at home, and so I sold my hut for 20 rubles, and whatever clothes I had and my wife had, I gave them all to the beggars. They gave me a permanent passport for my release, and I immediately took my beloved Bible and went wherever my eyes looked. When I went out, I thought, where should I go now? I will go first to Kyiv, bow to the saints of God and ask for their help in my sorrow. When I decided to do this, I felt better, and I reached Kyiv with joy. Since then, for 13 years now, I have been traveling incessantly to different places; I have visited many churches and monasteries, and now I wander more and more through the steppes and fields. I do not know whether the Lord will be pleased to reach holy Jerusalem. There it would be time, if God wills, to bury the sinful bones.

            How old are you? – Thirty-three years old.

            The age of Christ!

STORY FOUR.

      But it is good for me to cling to God, to think in the Lord the hope of my salvation .

            A fair Russian proverb: man supposes, but God has, I said, came to my spiritual father. I thought that today I would go and go on the road to the holy city of Jerusalem, but it turned out differently; a completely unforeseen incident left me in the same place for another three days. And I could not bear not to come to you to inform you about it, and to take advice in my determination in this case, which met quite unexpectedly in this way.

            Having said goodbye to everyone, I set off on my journey with God’s help, and was just about to go out of the gate when, at the gate of the last house, I saw a familiar man who had once been a traveler like me, and whom I had not seen for three years. Greeting him, he asked where I was going? I replied: I want to go, if God wills, to old Jerusalem. Thank God! he picked me up; here you have a good companion here. God be with you and with him, I said, don’t you know that, due to my nature, I never go with companions, but am accustomed to traveling always alone? But listen: I know that this companion will please you; as he is with you, so you will be well with him. You see, the father of the owner of this house, where I am hired as a worker, is also going to old Jerusalem, as promised, and you will be well off with him. He is a local burgher; The old man is kind and also completely deaf, so if you don’t shout, he can’t hear anything; if you ask him something, you have to write it down on a piece of paper, and then he will answer; and therefore he won’t bother you on the road, he won’t have anything to say to you, he’s increasingly silent at home too; and for him you will be necessary on the road. His son gives him a horse and a visa to Odessa in order to sell it there. Although the old man wants to go on foot, a horse will go with him for his luggage and some parcels to the Lord’s tomb; so you can put your bag down right away. Now think about it, how can you send an old and deaf man alone with a horse, on such a long journey? They looked and looked for a guide, but everyone asks very dearly and dangerously to send him with an unknown person, because he has money and things with him. Agree, brother, the right will be good; decide for the glory of God and for the love of your neighbor. And I will assure the owners about you, and they will be beyond words glad of it; they are good people and love me very much; I have been employed by them for two years now. Having thus spoken at the gate, he brought me into the house to the owner, and seeing that it must be an honest family, I agreed to their offer. So now we have settled down on the third day of Christmas, if God blesses, after listening to the divine liturgy, to set out on the journey.

            These are the random events that happen on the path of life! And all God and His holy providence govern our deeds and intentions, as it is written:  and what to will and that children of God are . Having heard this, my spiritual father said: I rejoice with all my heart, dear brother, that the Lord has also unexpectedly arranged to see you after a short time. And since you are now free, I will love to keep you longer, and you will tell me more about your instructive meetings that took place on your long wandering path. I also listened to all your previous stories with pleasure and attention. This I am happy to do, I answered and began to speak.

            There was a lot of everything, good and bad; I will not tell you everything for a long time, but much has already slipped from my memory, because I tried to remember only what guided and stirred my lazy soul to prayer, and I rarely remembered everything else, or rather, I tried to forget the past, following the advice of St. Apostle Paul, who said:  I long for the honor of a higher rank, forgetting the latter, and reaching out for the former . And my late blessed elder said that obstacles to heartfelt prayer attack from two sides, with the neck and gums, that is, if the enemy does not have time to distract from prayer with vain thoughts and sinful intentions, then he restores instructive memories in memory or suggests prayers that are intolerable to him. And this is called clear theft, in which the soul, neglecting conversation with God, turns to a contented conversation with itself or with creatures. And therefore he taught me not to accept even the most beautiful spiritual thought during prayer, and even after the day, if it happens to see that the time is spent more in instructive reflection and conversation than in the essential invisible prayer of the heart, then this too should be considered as intemperance, or self-serving for the necessary, for spiritual greed. in prayer, mostly won by a large number before the time spent in occupation with other matters of piety. But it is impossible to forget everything. Another, of course, was so deeply engraved in the memory that even if I did not remember it for a long time, I remember, for example, one pious family, with whom God deigned to let me stay for a few days from the case mentioned below.

            During my journey through the Tobolsk province, I had to pass through a certain county town. I had very few rusks left, so I entered a house to beg for bread for the road. The owner said to me: thank God, you have come in time, my wife has just taken the bread out of the oven, here is a warm rug for you, pray to God for us. I thanked him and began to put the bread in my bag, and the hostess, seeing this, said: some bag is thin, all worn out, I will change it for you, and gave me a good, hard bag. Thanking them from the bottom of my heart, I went on. On the way out, in a small shop, I asked for some salt, and the shopkeeper poured me a small bag. I rejoiced in spirit and thanked God that He showed me such good people, unworthy of me. Here, I thought, now for a week without worrying about food, I will sleep and be satisfied. Bless the Lord, my soul!

            Having gone five versts from this city, I saw on the road a small village and a small wooden church, but well decorated on the outside and painted. As I passed by, I wished to pay homage to the temple of God, and entering the church porch, I prayed. Two little children, about five or six years old, were playing on the lawn at the side of the church. I thought they were the priest’s children, although they were very well dressed. So, praying, I went on. I had not yet gone ten steps from the church when I heard a cry behind me: Beggar! Beggar! Stop! It was the little children I had seen, a boy and a girl, who were shouting and running towards me; I stopped, and they ran up to me and grabbed my hand: let’s go to mother, she loves beggars. I am not a beggar, I tell them, but a passerby. And what about your bag? This is my bread for the journey. No, we’ll definitely go, your mother will give you money for the trip. But where is your mother, I asked. Over there behind the church, behind this grove.

            They led me to a wonderful garden, in the middle of which I saw a large manor house; we entered the very chambers, what cleanliness and decoration there! And then the lady ran out to us. I beg your mercy! I beg your mercy! Where did God send you to us? Sit down, sit down, my dear! She herself took my bag off me, put it on the table, and sat me on a soft chair; don’t you want to eat? Or a cup of tea? And are there any needs you have? I thank you most humbly, I replied, I have a whole bag of food, although I drink tea, but in our peasant life I am not used to it, your diligence and kind treatment are dearer to me than a treat; I will pray God to bless you for such evangelical love of miracles. Saying this, I felt a strong excitement to return inside. Prayer boiled in my heart and I needed calmness and silence to give space to this spontaneous flame of prayer, to hide from people the external signs of prayer, such as tears, sighs, and unusual movements of the face and lips.

            And so I got up and said: I beg your pardon, mother, it is time for me to go; May the Lord Jesus Christ be with you, and with your lovely children. Oh, no! God forbid you go, I will not let you go. In the evening my husband will come from the city, he serves there as a judge in the district court by election. How happy he will be to see you! He considers every traveler to be a messenger of God. And if you go, he will be very sad not to see you: besides, tomorrow is Sunday, you will pray with us in the dining room, and you will eat together what God has sent; every holiday we have guests up to thirty beggar brothers of Christ. But why didn’t you tell me anything about yourself, where you come from and where you are going? Talk to me, I love to listen to the spiritual conversations of God-pleasing people. Children, children! Take the traveler’s bag and carry it to the imaginary room, where he will spend the night. Listening to these words of hers, I was amazed, and thought: am I talking to a person, or what kind of ghost am I?

            So I stayed to wait for the gentleman. I told him briefly about my journey and that I was going to Irkutsk. By the way, said the lady, you will certainly go through Tobolsk, and my own mother is a nun in a convent there, and now a schema-woman; we will give you a letter, she will receive you. Many people come to her for spiritual advice; and by the way, you will also take to her the book by John the Ladder, which we ordered for her from Moscow, at her order. How well will all this be! Finally, the time for dinner approached, and we sat down at the table. Four more ladies came and began to eat with us. Having finished the first course, one of the ladies who had come stood up, bowed to the icon, and then bowed to us, went and brought another course and sat down again; then another lady went in the same way for the third course. Seeing this, I began to say to the hostess: “May I dare to ask, mother, are these ladies your relatives or what?” Yes, they are my sisters: this is the cook, this is the coachman’s wife, this is the housekeeper, and this is my maid, and they are all married, I don’t have a single girl in the whole house.” Hearing and seeing this, I was even more surprised, thanked God for showing me such godly people, and felt the powerful effect of prayer in my heart; and therefore, in order to be alone as soon as possible and not to disturb the prayer, I got up from the table and said to the hostess: “You must rest after dinner, and I, as I am accustomed to walking, will go for a walk in the garden.” No, I am not resting, said the hostess; and I will go with you to the garden, and you tell me something instructive. And if you go alone, the children will not give you peace; When they see you, they will not leave you for a moment, for they love beggars, brothers of Christ, and travelers.

            There was nothing to do, so we left. Having entered the garden, so that it would be more convenient for me to remain silent and not speak, I bowed at the lady’s feet and said: I beg you, mother, in the name of God, tell me how long you have been leading such a godly life and how you have achieved this piety? I think I will tell you everything. You see, my mother is the great-granddaughter of Saint Joasaph, whose relics rest in Belgorod. We had a large house in the city, the wing of which was rented by a poor nobleman. Finally he died, and his wife became pregnant, gave birth, and herself died after childbirth. The child was left a complete and poor orphan; my mother, out of pity, took him in for upbringing, and a year later I was born. We grew up together and studied together with the same teachers, and we got used to each other as if we were brothers and sisters. After some time, my father also died, and my mother, having left city life, moved with us to this village of hers to live. When we came of age, my mother gave me as her ward, gave us this village of hers, and she herself, having built a cell for herself, decided to enter a monastery. Having given us her paternal blessing, she made us such a will that we should live in a Christian way, pray diligently to God and try most of all to fulfill the most important commandment of God, that is, love for our neighbors, feed and help the beggars, brothers of Christ, and raise our children in simplicity and humility. And so we have been living here alone for ten years, trying as much as possible to fulfill our mother’s will. We also have a beggar’s hut, in which more than ten disabled and sick people now live; perhaps tomorrow we will go to them.

            After this story, I asked: where is that book by John the Ladder that you want to send to your mother? Let’s go to the room, I will find it for you. As soon as we sat down to read, the gentleman arrived. Seeing me, he kindly hugged me, and we kissed in a brotherly, Christian way, led me to his room, and said: let’s go, dear brother, to my office, bless my cell. I think that you are tired of her (he pointed to the lady). When she sees a traveler, a man or a woman, or some sick person, she is happy not to leave them day or night; this has been the custom in her entire family for a long time. We entered the office. Many books, beautiful icons, a life-giving cross in full growth and the Gospel placed next to it; I prayed, and I said: you, father, have God’s paradise here. Here is the Lord Jesus Christ himself, His Most Pure Mother and His holy saints, and these (pointing to the books) are their divine, living and indefatigable words and instructions; I think you often enjoy heavenly conversation with them. Yes, I confess, answered the gentleman, I am a hunter of reading. What books do you have here, I asked. I have many spiritual ones, answered the gentleman; here is a whole annual cycle of four-menes, the works of John Chrysostom, Basil the Great, many theological and philosophical, and also many sermons of new famous preachers. My library costs me fifteen thousand rubles.

            Don’t you have, I asked, any writer on prayer? I love reading about prayer. There is a new book on prayer, written by a St. Petersburg priest. The master got an interpretation of the Lord’s Prayer:  Our Father  , and we began it with pleasure. A little later, the lady came to us, brought tea, and the children brought a whole basket, all silver, some dry, like pies, which I have never eaten in my life. The master took the book from me, handed it to the lady, and said: here we will force her to read, she reads beautifully, and we will get some strength ourselves. The lady began to read, and we began to listen. As I listened to the reading, I also listened to the prayer that was being said, deep inside my heart; the further the reading went, the more the prayer developed and delighted me. Suddenly I saw someone quickly flash before my eyes, as if in the air, like my deceased elder. I flinched, but to hide it, I said, excuse me, I took a little nap. Here I felt as if the spirit of the elder had penetrated my spirit, or illuminated it, I felt some light in my mind and a multitude of thoughts about prayer. As soon as I crossed myself and wanted to drive away these thoughts, the lady had read the entire book, the gentleman asked: did I like this work? – And we started a conversation. – I like it very much, I replied, and the Lord’s Prayer ”  Our Father  ” is higher and more precious than all the written prayers that we Christians have; because it is taught by the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and the interpretation of this one is very good, only everything is mostly directed towards Christian activity, and I had to read in the holy fathers and a speculative, mysterious explanation of it.

            In which ones did you read this? But here, for example, in Maximus the Confessor, and in Dobrotolyubiy by Peter of Damascus. Please, if you don’t remember what, tell us! Be kind. The beginning of the prayer:  “Our Father, who art in heaven  ”; in the book we read, it is explained that by these words we should understand the suggestion of brotherly love for our neighbors, as children of the only father. This is very fair, but in the holy fathers it is explained further and more spiritually, namely – they say that in this expression we should raise our mind to heaven, to the heavenly Father, and remember our duty to present ourselves every minute in the presence of God and walk before God. The words:  hallowed be Thy name  , the book explains with care, so as not to pronounce the name of God without reverence, or in an unjust oath, in a word, so as to pronounce the holy name of God holy and not use it in vain; and the mysterious interpreters see here a direct request for inner heartfelt prayer, that is, that the most holy name of God be imprinted within the heart and through spontaneous prayer sanctify and sanctify all the feelings and powers of the soul. The words: let  your kingdom come,  the mysterious interpreters explain as follows: let the inner world, peace and spiritual joy come into our hearts. The book explains that under the words: our  daily bread, give us today  should be understood a request for the necessities necessary for bodily life, not superfluous, but only necessary and sufficient for helping our neighbors. And Maximus the Confessor, under the name of daily bread, understands the nourishment of the soul with heavenly bread, that is, the Word of God, and the union of the soul with God, God-consciousness and unceasing inner prayer of the heart.

            Oh! this is a great matter and almost impossible for the inhabitants of the world to achieve interior prayer, exclaimed the gentleman; at least the Lord helped to perform the exterior without laziness. Do not think so, father. If it were impossible and insurmountably difficult, then God would not have commanded it to everyone. His strength is also in weakness; and the experienced holy fathers offer methods for this that facilitate the path to achieving heartfelt prayer. Of course, for the hermits of the world they indicate special and higher means, but for the laity they also prescribe convenient and leading means to achieve interior prayer. I have not happened to read about this in detail anywhere, said the gentleman. Please, please, I will read it to you in the book of Benevolence. I brought my Charity, found the article by Peter Damascene in part 3 on page 48, and began to read the following: “You must learn to call on the name of God more than your breath, in every time and place and deed. The apostle says:  pray without ceasing  , i.e. He teaches to have, to have. things, if you do anything, you must have in memory the Creator of things; you have a reason to remember and glorify God, and here you pray without ceasing, from this your soul will always rejoice.” Here, please see how this method of continuous prayer is convenient, easy and accessible to everyone who has any human feelings.

            They liked it very much. The gentleman embraced me with admiration, thanked me, looked at my Dobrotolyubstvo, and said: I will certainly buy such a book for myself; I will soon get it from Petersburg; and now, for memory, I will write down this article that you read, – tell me. And right there, he quickly, beautifully rewrote it. Then he exclaimed: My God! after all, I also have an icon of St. Damascene (it was probably an icon of John of Damascus). He took a frame, inserted a written letter under the glass, and hung it under the icon, saying: here is the living word of the saint of God under his image will often remind me to carry out this saving advice in his activities.

            After that we went to have dinner. At the table, as before, all the people were sitting with us – men and women. What reverent silence and stillness there was during the meal! After we had all had dinner, the people and the children prayed for a long time. I was forced to read the Akathist to the Sweetest Jesus.

            After the service, their servants went to rest, and the three of us remained in the room. The lady brought me a white shirt and stockings – I bowed at her feet, and said: I won’t take stockings, mother, I don’t sew them, we are used to always walking in stockings. She ran again and brought her old caftan, thin yellow cloth, and cut it into two stockings, and the gentleman, saying: here he is poor and the supports are almost falling apart, brought his new shoes, big ones, which he puts on over his boots, then he says to me: go away into that room. I went, changed clothes and went out to them again. They sat me on a chair and began to put on shoes, the gentleman began to wrap my feet in stockings, and the lady began to put on shoes. At first I didn’t give in, but they ordered me to sit down and said: sit down and be silent, Christ was washing the feet of the disciples. I had nothing to do, and I started to cry, and they cried too.

            After that, the lady stayed in the rooms to spend the night with the children, and the gentleman and I went to the garden to the gazebo. We couldn’t sleep for a long time, we lay there, and talked to the gentleman. So he started to approach me: tell me for God’s sake, truthfully and in good conscience, who are you? You are probably from a good family, and you only allow yourself to be foolish. You read and write well, and you speak and reason correctly; this cannot be in a peasant upbringing. I told you the truth and sincerely, both to you and to your lady, about my origin, I never thought of lying or deceiving you. And why should I do that? And what I say, I say not my own, but what I heard from my late God-wise elder, and what I read with attention in the holy fathers; Most of all, inner prayer sheds light on my ignorance, which I did not acquire myself, but the grace of God and the teachings of the elders have placed in my heart. After all, this is possible for every person; one has only to silently delve into one’s heart and call upon the illuminating name of Jesus Christ as much as possible, and immediately everyone will feel the inner light, and everything will be clear to him, even some of the secrets of the kingdom of God he will see in this light. And this is already a deep educational secret when a person learns about this ability to delve into oneself, to see oneself inside, to enjoy self-awareness, to be moved and to weep sweetly about one’s fall and corrupted will. Reasoning and talking to people sensibly is not a very difficult and possible matter, because the mind and heart came into being before human learning and wisdom. When there is reason, it can be cultivated, either by science or by experience; and if there is no reason, then no education will help. The thing is that we are far from ourselves, and we have little desire to get closer to ourselves, and we all run away so as not to meet ourselves and exchange the truth for trifles, and we think: I would be happy to engage in spiritual work, or prayer, but never, the worries and cares of life do not give. And what is more important and necessary – the saving eternal life of the soul, or the fleeting life of the body, for which we strive so much? This is what I have said, and it leads people either to prudence or to stupidity.

            Forgive me, dear brother, I asked you not only out of curiosity, but out of good nature and Christian concern for you, and also because about two years ago I saw an example from which my question to you was formed. You see, a beggar came to us with a retired soldier’s passport, an old man, and so poor that he was almost naked and barefoot, he spoke little and as simply as a steppe peasant. We took him to the poorhouse; five days later he became very ill, so we transferred him to this gazebo, calmed him down and began to go after him and treat him ourselves with my wife. Finally, he was probably approaching death; we prepared him by calling our priest to confess him, to initiate him and to adapt him. On the eve of his death he stood up, demanded a sheet of paper and a pen from me, asked me to lock the door and not let anyone in while he wrote a will for his son, who asked me to send it to Petersburg after his death to the address. I was surprised when I saw how he wrote not only in a beautiful, most educated handwriting, but also his work was wonderful, correct and very gentle. Here I will read his will to you tomorrow; I have a copy of it.

            All this surprised me, and aroused my curiosity to ask him about his origin and life. He, having bound me by oath not to reveal this to anyone until his death, told me his life for the glory of God. I was a prince who had a very rich fortune and led the most magnificent, luxurious and dissolute life. My wife died, and I lived with my son, who happily served as a captain in the guards. Once, when I was going to go to a ball to an important person, I was angry with my valet; I could not bear my excitement, I severely hit him on the head and ordered him to be sent to the village. This was in the evening, and the next morning the valet died of an inflammation of the head. But it got out of hand, and I, regretting my carelessness, soon forgot about it. Six weeks passed and that dead valet began to appear to me, especially in dreams; every night he troubled and reproached me, repeating incessantly: shameless, you are my murderer! Then I began to see him in reality, in my sleep. The further he went, the more often he began to appear to me, and then he troubled me almost constantly. Finally, together with him I began to see other dead men whom I had cruelly insulted, and women whom I had seduced. They all constantly reproached me and gave me no peace to the point that I could neither sleep, nor eat, nor do anything; I was completely exhausted, and my skin clung to my bones. All the efforts of skilled doctors did not help at all. I went to be treated in foreign lands, but I was treated there for six months, I did not receive any relief and the painful visions increased more and more cruelly. They brought me from there barely alive; and I felt to the full the horrors of the infernal torments of the soul, above all its separation from the body. Then I was convinced that there is a hell and learned what it means.

            Being in such a painful state, I realized my iniquities, repented, confessed, gave freedom to all the people who served me, swore to myself for the rest of my life to torture myself with all kinds of work and hide in a poor image, so that for my iniquities I would be the last servant of the lowest class of people. As soon as I firmly decided on this, the visions that troubled me immediately ended. I felt such comfort and delight from reconciliation with God that I cannot fully describe it. Here I also learned by experience what paradise means and how the kingdom of God is revealed within our hearts. Soon I recovered, fulfilled my intentions and secretly left my homeland with a retired soldier’s passport. And now for 15 years I have been wandering all over Siberia. Sometimes I hired myself to do errands for the peasants, sometimes I fed myself in the name of Christ. Oh! in all these hardships, what bliss, happiness and peace of conscience I have enjoyed! This can only be felt by someone who, from a painful hell, has been transferred to the paradise of God by the mercy of the Intercessor. Having told me this, he handed me his will to send to his son and died the next day. But here is a copy of his will in my bag now, placed in my Bible. If you want to read it, I will get it right away. Here, be kind!

            I unfolded it and read: In the name of God in the Trinity, glorified Father and Son and Holy Spirit.

            My dear son!

            It’s been 15 years since you’ve seen your father, but in his obscurity, he occasionally communicated with you, and nurtured a fatherly love for you that compels me to send you these dying lines so that they may be a lesson to you in life.

            You know how I suffered for my carelessness and careless life; but you do not know how I rejoiced in my unknown journey, enjoying the fruits of repentance.

            I die peacefully with my good and your benefactor, for the benefits bestowed upon a father must be bestowed upon a sensitive son. Give him my thanks in whatever way you can.

            Leaving you my fatherly blessing, I conjure you to remember God, to guard your conscience, to be careful, kind, and prudent, to treat your subordinates as kindly and kindly as possible, not to despise beggars and strangers, remembering that your dying father also suffered in poverty and in the peace of his soul.

            Invoking the grace of God upon you, I calmly close my eyes in the hope of eternal life, through the mercy of the Walking Man Jesus Christ.

            Your father.

            So the good gentleman and I lay there, and talked. So I asked him: I think, father, you are not without trouble and anxiety with the strange receiver? After all, many of our fellow travelers also go about their business for nothing, or out of laziness, and even misbehave on the road, as I have seen. There were not many such cases, more and more real travelers came, the gentleman answered. So we pamper and keep such mischievous people with us even more. Having lived among our good beggars, brothers of Christ, they often correct themselves and leave the poorhouse humble and meek people. Here was an example of this recently. One local city burgher became so depraved that everyone resolutely chased him away from their gates with sticks, and no one gave him even a piece of bread. He was a drunkard, a violent and quarrelsome man, and even a thief. In this form and hungry he came to us; he asked for bread and wine, for which he was an extraordinary hunter. We, kindly receiving him, said: live with us, we will give you as much wine as you want, but only with the following admonition: that when you get drunk, you go to bed right away, but if you rebel even a little and make a fuss, then not only will we drive you away and never accept you, but even I will treat you like a serf or a gardener, a vagabond. Having agreed to this, he stayed with us. For a week or more he really drank as much as he wanted; but always, according to his promise and out of affection for wine (so as not to lose it), he went to bed, or went out into the garden, lay there and was silent. When he sobered up, the beggar brothers persuaded him and gave him advice to abstain, although at first a little. So he gradually began to drink less and, finally, after three months, he became a sober man and now he is employed somewhere and does not eat other people’s bread in the tavern. On the third day he came to me with thanks. What wisdom, guided by love, is done! I thought and exclaimed: Blessed is God, who shows his mercy in the fence of your fence!

            After these conversations, the gentleman and I, having slept for an hour or an hour and a half, heard the gospel for matins, gathered and left, and had barely entered the church, and the lady had already been here for a long time with her children. We listened to the matins; and soon after that the divine liturgy began. The gentleman and I, with one little child, stood at the altar, and the lady with the little girl stood by the altar window to see the elevation of the Holy Gifts. My God! How they prayed on their knees and were filled with joyful tears! How their faces became enlightened, so that looking at them I cried to my heart’s content.

            After the Lord’s service, the priest, the servants, and all the beggars went together to the dinner table, and there were about forty beggars; there were also cripples, and sick people, and boys. Everyone sat down at the table. What silence and silence there was! I, having gathered courage, lightly said to the master: in monasteries they read the lives of the saints during the meal; it would be the same for you, and you have a circle of fours and fives. The master, turning to the mistress, said: indeed, Masha, we will establish such an order. It will be contemptuous. Here, at the first meal, I will read, then you, and then the priest, and later the brothers, in turn, who knows how. The priest, having eaten, began to say: I love to listen, but I, a humble servant, have no free time to read. When you run home, you don’t know how to return all the worries and cares; both that and the other are necessary; There are a lot of boys, and there is enough cattle, all day long in a bustle, not for reading or teaching. What I learned in the seminary, I have long since forgotten. Hearing this, I shuddered, and the lady, sitting next to me, as if grabbed my hand, and began to say: the priest says this out of humility, he always humbles himself so, and he is the kindest and most God-pleasing life; he has been a widow for 20 years and is raising a whole family of grandchildren, and besides, he often serves. At these words, the following statement by Nikita Stifata in Dobrotolyubiya came to mind: the nature of things is measured by the inner mood of the soul, that is, whoever is what he is, he concludes the same about others; and he goes on to say: He who has attained true prayer and love does not distinguish between things, does not distinguish the righteous from the sinner, but loves everyone equally and does not condemn, just like God; as the sun shines and rains on the just and the unjust.

            Silence began again; opposite me sat a completely blind beggar of beggars. The master fed him, cut up fish, handed him a spoon, poured him soup. Looking closely, I noticed that this beggar’s mouth was wide open, and his tongue was constantly moving and trembling; I wondered if he was a prayer book, and began to notice more. At the end of the meal, one old woman felt sick, she was seized tightly and groaned. The master and the lady took her to their bedroom and laid her on the bed; the lady remained to follow her; the priest went to get a spare st. gifts, just in case; and the master ordered the carriage to be harnessed and galloped to the city after the doctor. Everyone dispersed.

            I felt a hunger for prayer, there was a strong need for prayerful outpourings, and solitude and silence had not been there for another day. I felt in my heart as if some flood was striving to break through and pour out into all my limbs, but as I endured it, a strong pain in my heart arose – however, a kind of comforting one, requiring silent reassurance and saturation with prayer. Here it became clear to me why the true creators of prayer, which spontaneously worked in them, fled from people and hid themselves in obscurity, I also understood why the Monk Hesychius calls even spiritual and useful conversation, but excessive, vanity, just as St. Ephraim the Syrian says: good speech is silver, and silence is pure gold. In the contemplation of all this, I went to the poor woman; there everyone was resting after lunch. I climbed into the attic, calmed down, rested, and prayed. When the beggars got up, I found the blind man and took him out of the garden; we sat down alone and began to talk.

            Tell me, for God’s sake, for the benefit of your soul, do you say the Jesus Prayer? I have been saying it continuously for a long time. What do you feel about it? It’s just that I can’t be without prayer day or night. How did God reveal this occupation to you? Tell me, dear brother, in detail. You see, I am a local craftsman, I earned my living by tailoring, I went to other provinces, to villages, and sewed peasant clothes.

            In one village I had to live for a long time with a man to provide for his family. One holiday I saw three books on the altar, and I asked: who reads among you? No one answered me. These books were after our uncle: he was a scholar. I took one book, spread it out wherever I wanted, and read, as I remember now, these words: unceasing prayer is that of calling on the name of God always, whether someone speaks, sits, walks, works, eats, or does anything else – in every place and at every time.

            After reading this, I began to think that it was very convenient for me, and I began to say the prayer in a whisper while I was sewing, and I liked it. Those who lived with me in the house noticed this and began to laugh at me; are you a sorcerer, who whispers all the time? Or what are you praying for? In order to hide it, I stopped moving my lips and began to say the prayer only in one language. Finally, I got so used to praying that my tongue itself utters it day and night, and I like it.

            I walked like that for a long time, then suddenly I went completely blind. In our family, almost everyone has dark water in their eyes. Our society, because of my poverty, has assigned me to an almshouse, which is located in our provincial city of Tobolsk. I am now going there, the gentlemen stopped me because they want to give me a ride to Tobolsk.

            What was the name of the book you were reading, wasn’t it Dobrotolyubstvo? I don’t know, I didn’t even look at the big letter. I brought my Dobrotolyubstvo, found in part 4 of Patriarch Callistus the words that he said to me in memory, and began to read it to him. There it is, the blind man shouted. Read it, brother, how very good it is. When I reached the line where it says: one should pray with the heart, he began to approach me: what does this mean? – And how is it done? I told him that the entire teaching on heartfelt prayer is set out in detail in this same book, in Dobrotolyubstvo, – and he zealously asked me to read it to him.

            We’ll do it this way, I said. When do you intend to set off for Tobolsk? “At least now,” he replied. “So, tomorrow I’m thinking of setting off, and we’ll go with you, and I’ll read you everything that concerns heart prayer and show you how to find the heart’s place and enter it. But how about the trick?” he asked. “Well, what kind of trick are you going to do, it’s like it’s only a hundred and fifty versts to Tobolsk, we’ll go slowly, and you two alone know how to walk well; and it’s more convenient to talk and read about prayer while walking.”

            So we agreed; in the evening the gentleman himself came to call us all to dinner, after dinner we announced that we were setting out on the road with the blind man, and that we did not need a carriage; so that it would be more convenient to read Dobrotolyubstvo. At that the gentleman began to say: I also really liked Dobrotolyubstvo; I have already written a letter and prepared money to send to Petersburg tomorrow, when I go to court, so that Dobrotolyubstvo will be sent to me with the first post. So in the morning we set off, thanking these gentlemen very much for their exemplary love and mercy; and they both saw us off a verst from their homes. So we said goodbye.

            We went with the blind man, and we went little by little, ten or fifteen versts a day, and the rest of the time we sat in secluded places and read the Book of Charity. I read to him everything about heartfelt prayer in the order that my late elder had shown me, that is, starting with the book of Nicephorus the Monk, Gregory of Sinai, and so on. With what eagerness and attentiveness he listened to all this and how it all pleased him and delighted him! Then he began to ask me such questions about prayer that even my mind was not enough to solve them.

            Having read what he needed from the Philosophical Book, he began to earnestly ask me to show him a practical way of finding the heart with his mind, and how to introduce the divine name of Jesus Christ into it, and how to pray inwardly with his heart with delight. I began to tell him: you see nothing, but you can imagine and imagine with your mind what you saw before, that is, a person, or some thing, or some member of yours, for example, an arm or a leg, can you imagine it as vividly as if you were looking at it, and can you direct and direct it to it, even if you were blind? I can, answered the blind man. So you just imagine your heart, direct your eyes as if you were looking at it through your chest, and imagine it as quickly as possible, and with your ears listen attentively to how it beats and strikes again and again. When you adapt to this, then begin to adapt the words of prayer to each heartbeat, looking into it. Thus, with the first stroke say or think  Lord  , with the second  Jesus  , with the third  Christ  , with the fourth  have mercy  and with the fifth  me  , and repeat this many times. This is convenient for you, because you already have the beginning and preparation for heart prayer. When you get used to this, then begin to enter and exit the entire Jesus prayer in your heart along with your breath, as the fathers teach, that is, drawing in air, say, imagine:  Lord Jesus Christ  , and as you breathe out:  have mercy on me  ! Do this more often and more, and you will soon feel a subtle and pleasant pain in your heart, then there will be warmth and warming in it. Thus, with God’s help, you will achieve the spontaneous action of the heart’s delightful inner prayer. But at the same time, beware of any kind of ideas in your mind. Do not accept any ideas; for St. The Fathers strongly advise us to maintain a state of silence during inner prayer, so as not to fall into the trap of beauty.

            The blind man, having listened to all this attentively, began to act diligently according to the method shown, and at night, when we stopped for the night, he mostly did this for a long time. After five days, he began to feel a strong warmth and indescribable pleasure in his heart, and in addition, a great desire to constantly engage in this prayer, which revealed in him love for Jesus Christ. Sometimes he began to see light, although he did not notice any objects or things in it; sometimes it seemed to him, when he entered the heart, that as if a strong flame of a lit candle was burning sweetly inside the heart and, being thrown out through the throat, illuminated it; and with this flame he could even see distant things, as happened once.

            We were walking through the forest, and he was silently absorbed in prayer. Suddenly he said to me: what a pity! The church is already on fire, and the bell tower has fallen. I told him: Stop imagining it empty, this is a temptation for you, you need to quickly throw away all your dreams. How can you see what is happening in the city? We are still 12 versts from him. He obeyed, prayed further and fell silent. By evening we arrived in the city, and I really saw several burned houses and a fallen bell tower, which was built on wooden piles, and people crowding around and wondering how the fallen bell tower did not crush anyone. In my opinion, all this misfortune happened at the same time that the blind man was telling me about it. So he began to tell me: you said that my vision was empty, and now it is so. How can we not thank and love the Lord Jesus Christ, who reveals his grace to sinners, the blind, and the foolish? Thank you too for teaching me the action of the heart.

            I told him: Love Jesus Christ, love, and give thanks, give thanks; but beware of taking various visions for direct revelations of grace; for this can often happen and, of course, in the order of things. The human soul is relatively unbound by place and matter. It can see in the dark, and very distant things, like what is happening nearby. Only we do not give strength and movement to this spiritual faculty, and suppress it either by the bonds of our fattened body, or by the confusion of our thoughts and scattered thoughts. And when we concentrate on ourselves, distract ourselves from everything around us and become refined in our mind, then the soul enters into its destiny and acts to the highest degree, it is a natural thing. I heard from my late elder that not only prayerful people, but also those who are capable of it, or those who are sick, see light in a dark room, how it emanates from all things, distinguish objects, feel their double and penetrate the thoughts of another. And what comes directly from the grace of God in heartfelt prayer is so delightful that no language can express it, and it cannot be applied to anything material or likened to anything; all sensual things are low compared to the sweet sensations of grace in the heart. My blind man listened to this with diligence, and became even more humble; the prayer in his heart developed more and more, and he enjoyed it more and more. I rejoiced at this with all my heart and thanked God that He had made me worthy to see such a blessed servant of His.

            Finally we reached Tobolsk, I took him to the almshouse, left him there and, having said a polite goodbye, went on my way.

            For a month I walked slowly and deeply felt how instructive and encouraging good living examples are; I often read the Book of Charity and believed everything I told the blind prayer-book. His instructive example ignited in me jealousy, gratitude and love for the Lord, the prayer of the heart delighted me so much that I did not consider whether there was anyone happier than me on earth, and wondered what greater and better pleasure could be in the kingdom of heaven. Not only did I feel this within my soul, but everything external also appeared to me in a wonderful form, and everything gravitated towards the love and gratitude of God; people, trees, plants, animals, everything was as if native to me, on everything I found the image of the name of Jesus Christ. Sometimes I felt such lightness, as if I had no body, and did not walk, but as if I were joyfully floating in the air; sometimes I entered completely into myself and clearly saw all my fillings, marveling at the wise structure of the human body; Sometimes I felt such joy as if I had been made a king, and for all such pleasures I wished that God would let me die as soon as possible and pour out my thanks at His feet in the world of spirits.

            Apparently, I enjoyed these feelings excessively, or rather, it was an indulgence of God’s will, but after a while I felt a certain trembling and fear in my heart. I would not, I thought, have any trouble or misfortune again, like that for the girl I taught the Jesus Prayer in the chapel. Thoughts came upon me like a cloud, and I remembered the words of the Prelate John of Carpathia, who says that he who often teaches, gives himself up to dishonor and suffers misfortunes and temptations for those who benefited from him spiritually. Having fought against these thoughts, I intensified my prayer, with which I drove them away completely, and I took courage and said to myself: May the will of God be done! I am ready to endure everything that Jesus Christ does not send me for my wretchedness and pride. And those to whom I had recently revealed the secret of the entrance of the heart and interior prayer were, above all, prepared for my meeting with them by the direct teaching of the mysteries of God. Having calmed down by this, I again went with comfort and prayer and rejoiced in the former. It had been raining for two days, and the road had become so muddy that it was difficult to pull my feet out of the mud. I walked through the steppe, and for a verst I did not meet a single village; finally, towards evening I saw a courtyard near the very road, I was delighted and thought: here I will ask for a rest and spend the night, and tomorrow morning, God willing: maybe the weather will be better.

            When I got there, I saw a drunken old man in a soldier’s overcoat sitting near a courtyard on the porch, and I bowed to him, and said: Can’t I ask someone to let me in here for the night? Who can let me in, except me? The old man shouted, I’m the boss here! This is a post office, and I’m the caretaker. So, father, let me spend the night with you! Do you have a passport? Show me a legal ID. I gave him my passport, and he held it in his hands, but again asked: Where is the passport? It’s in your hands, I replied. Well, let’s go to the house. The caretaker put on his glasses, read it, and said: if the ID is legal, spend the night; after all, I’m a good man; here, I’ll bring you that glass. I don’t drink anymore, I replied. Well, don’t care, at least have dinner with us. They sat down at the table, he and the cook, the young woman also having had enough to drink, and they sat me down with them. All through dinner they swore and scolded each other, and at the end they fought. The caretaker went into the hall to sleep in the closet, and the cook began to clean up, washing the cups and spoons, and scolded her old man.

            I sat down and thought that she would not soon calm down, so I said to her: Where can I sleep, mother? I am tired from the journey. Here is a bed for you, father, and, having placed a bench next to the bench by the front window, I spread out the felt and put the headboard. I lay down and closed my eyes as if I were asleep. The cook wandered around for a long time; at last she climbed in, put out the fire and came up to me. Suddenly the whole window in the front corner, the frame, the panes and the fragments of the jambs, flew apart with a terrible crash, the whole house shook, and a painful moan, scream and thrashing were heard outside the window. The old woman jumped in fright to the middle of the floor and fell to the floor. I jumped up without remembering, thinking that the ground had opened up under me. I saw two dachshunds carrying a man into the hut, all covered in blood, so that even his face was not visible. This terrified me even more. It was a coachman who had been riding to change horses. His coachman, not having managed to turn the gate correctly, blew out the window with his breath, and as there was a ditch in front of the hut, the carriage overturned, and the coachman, falling, deeply cut his head on the pointed stake with which the fence was strengthened. The coachman demanded water and wine to wash his wound, soaked it in wine, and drank a glass himself, and shouted: horses! I stood beside him, saying: how can you, father, ride in such pain? The coachman must have been sick once, he answered, and galloped away. The coachmen dragged the old woman to the stove in a corner, unconscious, and covered her with a mat, saying: this parable happened to her from fright; She’s scratching herself. And the caretaker got hungover and went back to sleep.

            I was left alone.

            Soon the old woman got up and started pacing from corner to corner, like a madwoman leaving the house. After praying, I felt a sense of relief, and before the light came I fell asleep for a while.

            In the morning, having said goodbye to the caretaker, I set out, walking and sending up my prayer with faith, hope and gratitude to the Father of bounties and all comfort, who had delivered me from the impending disaster.

            Six years after this incident, passing by a nunnery, I went into the church to pray. A strange abbess took me to her after dinner and ordered tea to be served. Suddenly, guests unexpectedly arrived at her house; she went out to them, and left me with the nuns, her cellmates. The humble nun who was pouring the tea aroused my curiosity and asked: How long have you been in this monastery, mother? Five years, she answered; I was brought here crazy, and God had mercy on me here. So the abbess’s mother left me at the cell and tonsured me. What made you crazy? I asked. From fright. I was employed at such a station, and at night while I was sleeping, the horses broke the window, I, frightened, went crazy. My relatives took me to holy places for a whole year, and here I was only healed here. Hearing this, I rejoiced in my soul and glorified God, wisely doing everything for the benefit of the builder.

            There were many different incidents, I said, addressing my father. If I were to tell them in order, I wouldn’t be able to talk about them all in three days. Is there another opportunity to tell them?

            On a clear summer day I saw a cemetery by the road, or the so-called cemetery, that is, a church, and some religious buildings. There was a sermon for the mass; and I went there. The people around were also going there; and others, not reaching the church, sat on the grass and, seeing me walking in a hurry, said to me: do not hurry; you will still have enough to drink before the service begins; they serve here for a very long time, the priest is sick, and so baggy. Indeed, the service lasted for a very long time; the priest was young, but thin and pale, acted very slowly, however, very piously and with feeling at the end of the mass he gave a wonderful, understandable sermon on the ways of acquiring love for God.

            The priest called me to him and left me to have dinner. At the table I said to him: How reverently you serve, Father, and for so long! Yes, he replied, although the parishioners do not like it and complain, but there is nothing to do; because I like to think about every word of prayer first, and enjoy it, and then pronounce it aloud, otherwise without inner feeling and compassion, every spoken word will be useless for both myself and others; it is all about inner life and attentive prayer! And how little, he said, do they engage in inner work! This is because they do not want, do not care about spiritual, inner education, said the priest. I asked again: but how can one achieve it? It seems very difficult. Quite a lot; in order to become spiritually enlightened and to be an attentive and inner person, one should take one text from Holy Scripture, and keep all one’s attention and reflections on it alone for as long as possible, and the light of understanding will open. The same should be done in prayer: if you want it to be pure, correct and comforting, for this you should choose some short prayer, consisting of few words, but strong, and repeat it many times and for a long time, and then you will feel the taste for prayer. I really liked this instruction of the priest, how active and simple it is, but at the same time deep and wise! I mentally thanked God that He showed me such a true shepherd of His church.

            After the meal, the priest told me: you go to sleep after dinner, and I will engage in reading the Word of God and preparing for the sermon for tomorrow. So I went out to the kitchen; there was no one there, only an old woman sitting, hunched over, in a corner, coughing. I sat down by the window, took out my Book of Charity from my bag, and began to read it quietly to myself; finally I listened to the grandmother, who was sitting in the corner, constantly whispering the Jesus Prayer; I rejoiced to hear the most holy name of the Lord, which is often pronounced, and began to tell her: how good it is, mother, that you always pray! This is the most Christian and saving thing. Yes, father, she replied, in my old age there is only joy, that the Lord forgives! How long have you been accustomed to praying like this? Since childhood, father; so I cannot be without it, because the Jesus Prayer has delivered me from death and dying. How is that? Tell me, please, for the glory of God and for the glorification of the gracious power of the Jesus Prayer. I put Benevolence in my bag, sat down closer to her, and she began to tell me:

            I was a young and beautiful girl; my parents arranged for me to be married: so that the wedding would be held tomorrow, the groom was walking to our house, and suddenly, not having taken ten steps, he fell and died, not even breathing once! I was so frightened by this that I completely refused to get married and decided to live in virginity and go to holy places to pray to God. However, I was afraid to set out on a journey alone, in case evil people scolded me for my youth. Here is an old woman I know, an old woman, taught me that wherever I went on the road, I should constantly say the Jesus Prayer, and firmly assured me that with this prayer no misfortune could happen on the way. I believed this, and I certainly went safely, even to distant holy places; my parents gave me money for it.

            I became ill in old age, and the local priest, out of his mercy, is taking care of me and feeding me.

            Listening to this with delight, I did not know how to thank God for this day, which had revealed to me such instructive examples. Then, having asked the blessing of the good and reverent priest, I went on my way rejoicing.

            But not so long ago, when I was walking here through the Kazan province, I had another chance to learn how the power of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ is clearly and vividly revealed even to those who unconsciously engage in it, and how the frequency and duration of prayer is the surest and shortest path to achieving good. I once had to spend the night in a Tatar village. When I entered it, I saw a cart and a Russian coachman under the window of one of the houses; the horses were feeding near the cart. Rejoicing at this, I decided to ask for a place to stay for the night right away, thinking that at least I would spend the night with Christians. I went up and asked the coachman who was traveling? He replied that the gentleman was traveling from Kazan to the Crimea. When we were talking with the coachman, the gentleman, having turned away his skin, looked out of the cart, looked at me, and said: I myself am spending the night here, but I did not go to the hut, because the Tatars are very ill and I dared to stay the night in the cart. Then the gentleman went out for a walk – it was a nice evening – and we talked.

            Among many questions, he told me this about himself: until I was sixty-five years old I served in the navy as a captain of the first rank; in old age I was attacked by an incurable disease – gout, and after I retired I lived in the Crimea on my wife’s farm, almost constantly ill. My wife was eccentric, absent-minded, and a great card player. She became bored with living with me sick; and, abandoning me, she went to Kazan to our daughter, who was given away there for an occasion as an official; she robbed me all around, even taking the household people with her, and left with me only an eight-year-old boy, my godson.

            And so I lived alone for about three years. The boy who served me was quick-witted and did all my household chores, cleaned the room, heated the stove, cooked porridge for me, and heated the samovar. But at the same time he was an extremely lively and restless mischievous boy, constantly running, knocking, shouting, and playing tricks, and therefore bothered me a lot; and because of my illness, and also out of boredom, I always loved to read spiritual things. I had a wonderful book by Gregory Palamas about the Jesus Prayer: I read it almost continuously, and little by little I also composed a prayer. My boy was bothering me, and no threats or punishments could keep him from his mischief. So I came up with this method: I began to sit him on a bench in the room, ordering him to say the Jesus Prayer incessantly. At first he did not like this very much, and he avoided it in every way and often fell silent.

            To force him to obey my orders, I would place a rod near me. When he said his prayer, I would calmly read a book or listen to him say it; but as soon as he fell silent, I would show him the rod, and he would start praying again, frightened; and this reassured me greatly, for silence began to reign in my house. After a while I noticed that the rod was no longer needed, the boy became more willing and diligent in carrying out my orders; then I saw a complete change in his lively character, he became quiet and silent, and he did his household chores more successfully. This comforted me, and I began to give him more freedom. In the end, what happened? He got so used to praying that he almost always and in every case did it without any compulsion from me. When I asked him about it, he replied that he had an irresistible desire to always pray. What do you feel about it? Nothing, I just feel good when I say a prayer. But what do you mean, good? I don’t know how to say it. Fun, or what? Yes, fun.

            He was already 12 years old when the war started in Crimea, I went to Kazan to see my daughter, and took him with me. Here they put him in the kitchen with other people, and he was very sad about it and complained to me that people, playing and fooling around with each other, approached him and laughed at him, and this prevented him from praying. Finally, three months later he came to me and said: I am going home; I am unbearably bored here, I am noisy. I told him: How can you go so far away alone and in winter? Wait until I go then and I will take you. The next day my boy disappeared. They sent people everywhere to look for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Finally, I received a letter from the people who remained in our farm from the Crimea that his boy was found dead in my empty house on April 4, the day after Easter. He was lying on the floor in my room, his arms folded on his chest, his cap under his head, and in the same cold frock coat in which he had come to my house and left. And so they buried him in my garden. When I received this news, I was very surprised how the boy had reached the farm so quickly. He left on February 26, and on April 4 he was found. In one month he would have to travel about three thousand versts, God forbid, on horseback. After all, he would have to travel a hundred versts a day. And besides, in cold clothes, without a passport, and without a penny of money. Let us suppose that perhaps someone had given him a lift along the way, but this was not without special providence and God’s care for him. Here, my boy, the gentleman finally said, has tasted the fruit of prayer, and even in my old age I have not yet come to his measure.

            After that I began to tell the gentleman: “Father, the book by the Reverend Gregory Palamas, which you wanted to read, is beautiful, I know it. But in it more and more people discuss only the oral Jesus Prayer, and you should read the book called Benevolence; there you will find complete and perfect teaching on how to achieve the spiritual Jesus Prayer in the mind and heart and taste its sweetest fruit; at the same time I showed him my Benevolence. I noticed that he gladly accepted my advice and promised to get such a book for himself.

            My God, I reflected to myself, what wonderful manifestations of God’s power do not come from this prayer! And how wisely and instructively this event; the rod taught the boy to pray, and also served as a means of comfort! Are not our sorrows and misfortunes, which we encounter on the path of prayer, the same rods of God? And why are we afraid and confused when their hand shows us our heavenly Father, full of boundless love, and when these rods teach us to learn prayer more diligently and lead us to indescribable comfort?

            Having finished these stories, I said to my spiritual father: Forgive me, for God’s sake, I have already talked a lot, and the holy fathers call talk, even if spiritual, but excessive, vanity. It is time for me to go and visit my companion in Jerusalem. Pray for me, a cursed sinner, that the Lord, in His great mercy, may arrange my path for good.

            “I sincerely wish, brother beloved in the Lord,” he replied, “that the loving grace of God illuminates your path and accompanies you, like the angel Raphael with Tobias!”

Three keys to the inner prayer treasury.

Found in the spiritual riches of the Holy Fathers.

      In my heart I hide Your word  (Ps. 119:11).

      The mind tries to seek out sorrow with all sorts of tricks  (Katafigiota, ch. 19).

            If everyone has their own special properties, inclinations, and abilities, then the achievement of the same goal occurs in different directions, in different ways, leading to it. So the achievement of the goal of internal prayerful actions occurs through many ways, as we read in the observations of the holy fathers.

            Some of these methods are general, both for success in prayer and for success in Christian life, such as:  unconditional obedience  , as Simeon the New Theologian says; – works of charity and asceticism, as the church proclaims in its hymns: you found the deed, inspired by God, in visions of the East (Trop. sacred mukh.);  external prayer about internal prayer: Lord, teach us to pray  ;  special grace-filled influences  , such as: Kapso Kalivit once applied herself to the icon of the Mother of God, after two years of pestering Her in prayer, suddenly felt sweetness and warmth that fell into her heart; the young man George, during a simple prayer, suddenly saw an internal light and accepted unceasing automatic prayer, etc.

            There are other essential methods of interior prayer that seem to belong directly to it. Three of these, as we find in the holy fathers.

            1)  Part  of calling on the name of Jesus Christ;

            2)  Attention  to this calling; and

            3)  Entering within  oneself, or, as the church fathers put it, entering the mind into the heart.

            Since these methods mostly quickly and conveniently open the kingdom of God within us and reveal the treasure of inner spiritual prayer in our heart, it is very fitting to call them the keys to this secret ark.

KEY ONE.

            If quantity leads to quality, then the frequent, almost continuous invocation of the name of Jesus Christ, although at first scattered, can lead to attention and warmth of heart; since human nature is capable of acquiring a certain mood through frequent use and habit. To learn to do something well, one must do it much more often, said one spiritual writer; and St. Hesychius says that frequency gives birth to habit and appeals to nature (chap. 7). This, as can be seen from the observations of experienced men, happens in relation to interior prayer in this way: the one who wants to achieve interior prayer decides to often, almost continuously invoke the name of God, that is, to pronounce the Jesus prayer orally: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner; sometimes abbreviated, that is, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, as St. Gregory of Sinai teaches. He adds that the shortened invocation is more convenient for the beginner, however, he does not deny either, advising only not to change the prayer verbs often, so that it is more convenient to get used to the invocation. And in order to be even more excited to the continuous creation of prayer, the student considers it a rule to invocation a known number of times, looking at time, that is, to say so many hundreds or thousands of prayers on the rosary day and night, not in a hurry, but speaking, straining the tongue and lips. After a while, the lips and tongue of the skilled person acquire such a habit and as if self-movement that without much effort they will move by themselves with the pronunciation of the name of God, even without a voice. Further, the mind will listen to this movement of speech and gradually cleanse itself of distraction and come to pay attention to prayer. Finally, the poverty of the mind in the heart can also follow, as the Fathers express it, that is, the mind, having returned to the heart, will warm it with the warmth of divine love, and the heart itself will be without coercion, freely, with indescribable delight to call upon the name of Jesus Christ and pour out with supplication  , my heart is watching . St. Hesychius expressed himself beautifully about the fruitfulness of the frequent intelligent invocation of the name of Jesus Christ: as the rain that multiplies descends on the earth, it softens the earth, so also the earth of our heart the name of Christ, invoked by us, joyfully creates and makes glad, as often as it is invoked.

            Although the method shown is based on the experiments and observations of the holy fathers, and is sufficient for convenient guidance in order to achieve the desired goal of interior prayer, there are still higher methods, such as: attention and the introduction of the mind into the heart. This first method belongs mainly to those who have not yet become accustomed to attention and are not yet able to work successfully on the heart, or it can be an introduction and assumption to the following methods. However, according to the difference in properties and abilities, whoever chooses what is more convenient, he chooses, as Nicephorus the Monk says.

SECOND KEY.

            Attention is the observance (keeping) of the mind, as Nicephorus the Monk expressed it, or attention is the gathering of the mind to itself, and its immersion in one object, while abandoning all extraneous thoughts and imaginations. How necessary it is, when engaged in prayer, is assured by Saints Callistus and Ignatius, citing the words of St. Neilos, that attention that seeks prayer will certainly attract it; for prayer imitates much more than anything else, and it is proper to strive for it (Dobrotolyubie, part 2, ch. 24). St. Hesychius also writes something similar: as thoughts listen closely, you will pray to Jesus with a desire (ch. 90); and also: the air of heartfelt joy and silence is filled with extreme attention (ch. 91), which is “as necessary for prayer as a lamp is for the light of a lamp” (ch. 102). Likewise, Nicephorus the Monk, after expounding the doctrine of interior prayer, finally concludes that if it is not convenient, according to the example shown to him, to enter the heart, then one should use all kinds of attention in prayer, which, without any doubt, will open the heart entrance and develop interior prayer, which, as in the First Holy Scripture, confirms this truth that without attention one cannot unite with God, saying:  abolish and understand that I am God  .

            Therefore, one who wishes to achieve interior prayer through attention should, as much as possible, keep to solitude, avoid conversations with people, do not pray hastily and not too much at once, but with some arrangement, deepen the mind in the prayer of the verb in such a way as happens when attentively reading a book, if possible call upon, and its propitiation, which one asks: sometimes, having composed one prayer, be silent for a while, as if waiting for God’s answer, try to maintain attention even in the case of distraction, and always remember that you have dared to be for the Lord in the unceasing attention of prayer, while purifying the mind from thoughts.

KEY THIRD.

            The third key is entering into oneself or the heart. Without extending our reasoning to this, let us present the images and teachings of the holy fathers about self-absorption and entering into the heart, according to the methods tested by them, as faithful guides to true spiritual interior prayer. We will present the instructions of the holy fathers on this here in their own words, dividing them for convenience into three rows and arranging them in the following order:

            The first row will be made up of the fathers who left us a complete instruction on the Jesus Prayer, namely: 1) Symeon the New Theologian, 2) Gregory of Sinai, 3) Nicephorus the Monk, and 4) the monks Callistus and Ignatius Xanthopoulos.

            The second row is parents who left short statements about inner prayer, which:

            1) Hesychius, presbyter of Jerusalem, 2) Philotheus of Sinai, 3) Theoliptus, metropolitan, and 4) Barsanuphius and John.

            In third place we will place the salutary story of Abba Philemon. He brings to mind the entire path of asceticism.

THE HOLY FATHER’S ADVICE ON INTERNAL HEART PRAYER.

A. FIRST ROW.

1) THE ADVICE OF ST. SYMEON THE NEW THEOLOGIAN.

            St. Simeon the New Theologian explains the method of entering the heart in the depiction of the third image of prayer, in the 68th word (p. 163, in Russian translation, second edition):

            The third form of prayer is truly wonderful and indescribable, and to those who do not know it by experience, it is not only inconvenient, but even seems incredible. And indeed in our time this form of prayer is found in few, while they are destroyed by the tricks and cunning that the demons would use to divert the mind to many and varied thoughts. For then the mind, being free from everything, has the good fortune, without any hindrance, to examine the thoughts that are brought by the demons, and with great ease to drive them away and to offer its prayers to God with a pure heart.

            Having then outlined the conditions for success in this form of prayer, namely: perfect obedience, and keeping one’s conscience clear, both in relation to God, and in relation to people, and in relation to things, and having inspired one to do everything as if one were before God, he continues:

            By acting in this way, you will pave the true and unerring path to the third form of prayer, which is as follows: let the mind guard the heart while praying, and let it turn inward without ceasing, and from there, from the depths of the heart, let it send prayers to God.

            That’s all: work like this until you taste the Lord. When, finally, the mind there, inside the heart, tastes and feels with the heart that the Lord is good; then it will no longer want to move away from the place of the heart; then it will say, like St. Peter: It is good for us to be here, and it will always look there inside the heart and turn there continuously, driving away all the thoughts that the devil sows.

            For those who have no idea about this matter and do not know it, it seems mostly difficult and oppressive. But those who have tasted the sweetness that it has and have enjoyed it in the depths of their hearts, these cry out with St. Paul and say:  who will now separate from the love of Christ,  etc. Why did our holy Fathers, hearing the Lord say that from  the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, false witness, blasphemy and that this is the essence of a person, hearing  also that in another place the Gospel commands us to cleanse  the inside of the cup, let its outside be clean , left every other spiritual work and began to strive completely in this one work, that is, in the preservation of the heart, being sure that together with this work they will conveniently acquire every virtue, and without it they cannot succeed in any. They mainly practiced in it and wrote about it. Whoever wants, let them read their writings, let them read what Mark the ascetic wrote about it, what John the Ladder, the teacher Hesychius, Philotheus of Sinai, Abba Isaiah, Barsanuphius the Great and others said.

            If you want to learn how to do this (i.e., enter the heart and be there), I will tell you about it.

            Three things you should observe above all else: care for everything, even the blessed, and not only the unblessed and vain, or else mortification to everything, a pure conscience in everything, so that it does not expose you in anything, and perfect dispassion, so that your thought does not incline to any thing. Then sit in some special and silent place alone, close the door, turn your mind away from every temporary and vain thing, bow your head to your chest, and thus stand with attention within yourself (not in your head, but in your heart), turning there both your mind and your sensual eyes and holding it. Having your mind there, trying in every way to find it where the heart is, so that having found it, your mind will already be completely there. At first you will find there a certain darkness and hardness within; but then, if you continue this work of attention unceasingly day and night, you will acquire a certain unceasing joy. The mind, striving in this, will reach the place of the heart, and then it will immediately see within it such things as it has never seen or known. From this moment, from whatever side a thought arises and appears, before it enters inside and thinks or appears, the mind will immediately drive it away from there and destroy it with the name of Jesus, that is, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me; from this time on, the mind will begin to have anger at the demons, to drive them away and strike them. The rest, which will usually follow this action, with God’s help, you will learn from experience yourself, maintaining attention and holding Jesus, that is, His prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

2) THE ADMINISTRATION OF ST. GREGORY OF SINAI.

            St. Gregory of Sinai teaches the doctrine of inner prayer in the heart and the method of practicing it in his three articles on silence and prayer, contained in the Dobrotolyubii, part 1, pp. 112-119. Here is an abbreviated extract from them:

            We should, having received the spirit of life in Christ Jesus, speak with the Lord in a cherubic manner with a pure prayer in our hearts; but we, not understanding the greatness, honor, and glory of the grace of regeneration, and not caring to grow spiritually through the fulfillment of the commandments and to grasp the state of intelligent contemplation, resort to negligence, because of which we fall into passionate habits and are cast into the abyss of insensibility and darkness. It also happens that we even remember little whether there is a God, and what we should be, as children of God by grace, we do not know at all. We believe, but with faith that is not effective, and after being renewed by the spirit in baptism, we do not cease to live carnally. If sometimes, having repented, we begin to fulfill the commandments, we fulfill them only externally, and not spiritually, and we become so unaccustomed to spiritual life that its manifestations in others seem to us to be wrongs and errors. Thus, until death, we remain spiritually dead, living and acting not for Christ, and not meeting the definition that what is born of the spirit must be spiritual.

            Meanwhile, what we have received in holy baptism into Christ Jesus is not destroyed, but only buried like a treasure in the ground. And prudence and gratitude demand that we take care to discover it and bring it to light. How is that?

            There are two ways to this: first, this gift is revealed by the many-sided fulfillment of the commandments, so that when we fulfill the commandments, this gift reveals its brightness and its brilliance; second, it comes into manifestation and is revealed by the unceasing call of the Lord Jesus, or, what is the same, by the unceasing remembrance of God. And the first means is powerful; but the second is more powerful, so that the first also receives its full power from it. Therefore, if we sincerely want to reveal the gracious seed hidden in us, then let us hasten to accustom ourselves to this last exercise of the heart and to have in our hearts this one thing of prayer, invisibly, unimaginably, until it warms our heart and inflames it with an ineffable love for the Lord.

            The action of this prayer in the heart is twofold; sometimes the mind precedes, clinging to the Lord in the heart with unceasing memory, sometimes the action of prayer, itself previously stirred by the fire of joy, draws the mind into the heart and binds it to the calling of the Lord Jesus and to a reverent presence before him. In the first case, the action of prayer begins to reveal itself, diminishing the passions through the fulfillment of the commandments, with warmth of the heart, as a result of the intensified calling of the Lord Jesus; in the second, the spirit draws the mind to the heart and places it there in the depths, keeping it from ordinary wandering. From these two types of prayer, the mind is sometimes active, sometimes contemplative: by action it overcomes the passions with God’s help, and by contemplation it sees God, as far as this is possible for a person.

            Active mental and heart prayer is performed in this way: sit on a chair about a foot high, lower your mind from your head to your heart, and hold it there: and from there call out mentally and heartily: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”! Hold your breath at the same time, so as not to breathe rashly, because this can scatter your thoughts. If you see thoughts arising, do not listen to them, even if they are simple and good, and not just vain and impure. By placing your mind in your heart and calling on the Lord Jesus often and patiently, you will soon destroy such thoughts and destroy them, striking them invisibly with the Divine name. St. The Ladder says: In the name of Jesus, strike the warriors; there is no other weapon stronger than this, neither in heaven nor on earth.

            When the mind becomes weary in such labor, and the body and heart become sick from the strain of frequent calling upon the Lord Jesus, then stand up and sing, or practice meditating on some passage of Scripture, or in remembering death, or engage in reading, or needlework, or something else.

            When you undertake this work of prayer, then it is fitting for you to read only such books as expound the teachings of the inner life, of sobriety and prayer, namely the Ladder, the words of Isaac the Syrian, the ascetic books of Maximus the Confessor, Symeon the New Theologian, Hesychius, Philotheus of Sinai, and others. Leave all other writings for another time, not because they are bad, but because it is not appropriate for you to engage in them, given your true mood and desire: they can distract your mind from prayer. Read little, but with depth and assimilation.

            Do not leave prayers either. Some keep a great rule of prayer, others completely leave the prayer book, praying to the Lord with one intelligent prayer. You choose the middle ground: do not collect many prayers, because this leads to confusion, but do not leave them either, in case of weakness and relaxation. If you see that prayer is working in you and does not stop moving by itself in your heart, do not leave it and do not take up the prayer book. This would mean leaving God inside, going out from there and from the outside extending a conversation to Him. Those who do not yet have the effect of prayer need to pray a lot. and even without measure, in order to be constantly in this much prayer and variety of prayer, until such painful labor of prayer warms the heart and the effect of prayer begins in it. Whoever finally tastes this grace, therefore needs to pray in moderation, and to be more in intelligent prayer, as the fathers commanded. In case of inner relaxation, one should pray or read the scriptures of one’s parents. The use of oars is unnecessary when the wind has inflated the sails: they are needed when the wind drops and the boat stops.

            A great weapon against enemies is the one who keeps his weeping broken in prayer, so as not to fall into arrogance from the betrayal that prayer presents. He who preserves such joy and sorrow will avoid all harm. True, not magical, inner prayer is the one in which warmth, coming from the Jesus Prayer, puts fire into the earth of the heart and ignites passions like thorns. It illuminates the soul with joy and light, and does not come from the clear or murky land, nor even from above, but bursts forth from the heart, like a spring of water, from the life-giving Spirit. Love this one and return to gain it in your heart, always keeping your mind not dreamy. Fear nothing with her; For He who said: Laugh, I am not afraid, Himself is with us.

3) ADVICE OF NIKIPHOR THE MONK.

            The monk Nicephorus presents his teaching on entering the heart in his article on sobering up and guarding the heart (Dobrot, part 2, pp. 36-43).

            You who wish to perceive the heavenly fire of the heart in feeling, and to know by experience what the kingdom of heaven is, existing within you, come, I will tell you the science of heavenly life, or better, the art, which without labor and sweat leads its worker into the shelter of dispassion. Through the fall we have gone outside; Let us return to ourselves, turning away from the external. Reconciliation and kinship with God is impossible for us if we do not first return to ourselves and enter within. Only the internal life is the true Christian life. All the fathers testify to this.

            So the brother asked Abba Agathon: which is more important, bodily labor or the guarding of the heart? The elder answered: A person is like a tree; bodily labor is the leaves, and the guarding of the heart is the fruit. Since, according to Scripture, every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire, it is obvious that you should direct all your care to the fruit, that is, to the guarding of the heart. However, for us, the leafy garment, that is, bodily labor, is also necessary.

            St. St. Ladder says: close the door of the cell for the body, the door of the mouth for the tongue, and the inner door for evil spirits. Sitting on high (i.e., fixing attention on the heart), observe, if you are skilled, which and in what number the thieves come to enter the vineyard of your heart and steal the grapes. Having labored, the overseer (i.e., listening to the heart), gets up and prays, then sits down again and courageously takes up the same task (i.e., attention to the heart and prayer).

            St. Macarius the Great teaches: the main task of an ascetic is to enter into his heart, create a struggle there with Satan and resist his thoughts, fight against him.

            St. Isaac the Syrian writes: Go into your inner treasury, and you will see the treasure of heaven. The ladder to the kingdom of heaven is hidden within you, that is, in your heart. Therefore, wash yourself from sin, and gather yourself in your heart: there you will gain the steps by which you can ascend to the furnace.

            Here is the saying of Carpathia: much struggle and labor is needed in prayers to find an unconfused state of thoughts – this is another heaven of the heart, where Christ lives, as the Apostle says:  Do you not know that Christ lives in you ?

            Here are the words of St. Symeon the New Theologian: since the time when man was expelled from paradise and distanced himself from God, the devil and his demons have been given freedom day and night to invisibly sway the imaginative power of every person. It is not possible to protect oneself from this mind in any other way than by the constant remembrance of God. Whoever is struck by the remembrance of God can also keep his intellectual power from fermenting.

            This is what all the holy fathers teach. This is the greatest of all works, almost all of which are taken over from others through teaching. Very few untrained people have received and receive it directly from God, warmth for the sake of their faith. Therefore, you need to look for a mentor who knows the matter. If there is no such mentor, then, calling on God for help in heartbreak and tears, do what I tell you.

            It is known that the breath we breathe carries air through the lungs to the heart. So sit down and, having collected your mind, bring it inward by this breathing, force it together with this inhaled air to descend into the heart itself and hold it there, not giving it freedom to go out as it pleases. While holding it there, do not leave it empty, but give it these sacred words: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! And let it repeat them day and night. Take care to accustom this inward stay with the indicated prayer and see that your mind does not soon leave there, because at first it will be very sad from such a shy confinement inward. On the other hand, when it gets used to it, it will be cheerful and joyful to be there, and it will want to stay there itself. Just as a man who has returned from a foreign land to his home forgets himself for joy when he sees his wife and children again, so the mind, when united with the heart, is filled with indescribable joy and gladness.

            If you manage to enter the heart in the way that I have shown you, give thanks to God, and always stick to this work: it will teach you what you did not even think about. If, even after working hard, you cannot enter the regions of the heart in the way that I have shown you; then do what I will tell you, and with God’s help you will find what you are looking for. It is known that the language of man (the inner word, the word with which he speaks to himself) is in the ears: for there, inside the ears, when the lips are silent, we speak to ourselves and consult, there we make prayers (when we recite them in our minds by heart), and there we conduct a different conversation with ourselves in psalms. Take away every thought from this language, and let it say without ceasing: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, and force yourself, instead of any other language, to cry out this one thing within. Persevere patiently in this matter for just a little while, and through it the entrance to the heart will open to you without any doubt, as we ourselves have learned by experience.

            Together with such a long-desired and joyful burning in your heart and its guardian – attention, all the faces of virtues will come to you: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, and so on.

4) THE ADMINISTRATION OF IGNATIUS AND CALLISTU.

            Monks Callistus and Ignatius Xanthopoulos present their lessons on the inner workings of the heart in as many as one hundred chapters contained in the Love of Charity (part 2, pp. 56-131). Here is the main one we need from them:

            The beginning of life for God is zeal and all diligent effort to live according to the saving commandments of Christ; the end is the perfect manifestation of what was presented to us by divine grace in baptism, or what is the same,  to put off the old man with his deeds and lusts, and put on the new spiritual man , i.e. In the Lord Jesus Christ, as the divine Paul says:  My little children, by them you are in sickness until Christ appears in you .

            When we are baptized, says St. Chrysostom, then our soul shines more than the sun, is purified by the Holy Spirit. Just as pure silver, lying against the rays of the sun, and itself emits rays; not by its nature, but by the illumination of it by the sun; so the soul, purified in baptism, receives rays from the glory of the Spirit, and itself is inwardly glorious. But, alas! this glory, ineffable and terrible, only remains in us for one or two days, and then we extinguish it, bringing a storm of life’s cares and passionate affairs.

            In the divine beds, that is, in the holy font, in the tun, we receive perfect divine grace. If after this we hide it under the darkness of worldly cares and passions, then we can again restore it and cleanse it by repentance and fulfillment of divine commandments, and see its natural brightness. This happens in the measure of each person’s faith and the fervor of diligence to live according to faith, especially with the blessing of the Lord Jesus Christ. St. Mark says: Christ, this perfect God, gave perfect grace to those who were baptized, the grace of the Holy Spirit, which does not require any program from us; it is revealed in us and is clearly created in the measure of fulfilling the commandments, until we reach the measure of the fulfillment of Christ.

            Therefore, since the beginning and root of the saving action is to live according to the commandments of the Lord, and the end and fruit is to renew the perfect grace of the Spirit, first given to us by baptism, which is in us, but buried by passions, and is revealed again by the fulfillment of God’s commandments: it behooves us to announce this gift. to cleanse and see more clearly. The breastplate of the Lord, John, says that he who keeps the commandments of the Lord abides with the Lord, and the Lord abides with him. The Lord Himself explains this even more fully, saying:  If you have my commandments and keep them, you love me; and whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him, and I will manifest myself to him. If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him, and make our abode with him.  .

            This exact fulfillment of the saving commandments is impossible for us without the Lord Jesus Christ, as He Himself says:  without Me you can do nothing  , and as the Apostle confessed that  there is no other salvation . He is for us the way, the truth and the life. Therefore, our glorious mentors and teachers, with the all-holy Spirit living in them, wisely teach us, before any other work, to pray to the Lord and ask Him for mercy without doubt, and to have His all-holy and most sweet name unceasingly and always carry it in our heart, and in our mind, and in our intellect, and not to sleep, walk, eat and drink. For just as at a time when we do not have such a calling, everything bad and harmful gathers in us, so at a time when we have it, everything contrary is driven away, nothing good is impoverished, and nothing happens that we cannot accomplish, as the Lord Himself said:  He who is in Me and I in him, that one will create .

            Therefore, having realized our weakness, and having placed all our hope in the Lord, and having loved the commandments to the point of being ready to lay down our lives rather than violate any of them, let us direct all our efforts to accustom ourselves to and establish ourselves in this unceasing invocation of the saving name of the Lord, destructive of all evil, and soza. To adapt this work, the holy fathers indicated a special kind of action, calling it art and even the art of arts. Here we offer the wonderful Nicephorus the natural art of how to enter the heart through breathing, which greatly contributes to the gathering of thoughts.

            His rule is this: sit in a secluded place, and having collected your mind, bring it into your heart through the breath and, stopping there with your attention, call out incessantly: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! Do this until this invocation is implanted in your heart and becomes continuous.

            Thus taught all the holy fathers. St. Chrysostom says: I beseech you, brethren, never to cease to observe the rule of this prayer. In another place: everyone, whether he eats or drinks, sits or serves or travels or does anything else, should constantly cry out: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, and the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, descending into the depths of the heart, will reconcile the devils. Therefore cease constantly in calling on the name of the Lord Jesus, so that the heart may consume the Lord and the Lord the heart, and these two may become one. And again: do not separate your heart from God, but always keep in it the memory of our Lord Jesus Christ, until the name of the Lord is placed within the heart, and do not think of anything else, except that Christ may be magnified in you. St. The Ladder says: Let the memory of Jesus be united with your breathing. And St. Hesychius writes: if you want to cover the thoughts of others with shame and constantly sober your heart, let the prayer to the Lord Jesus cling to your breath, and in a few days you will see your desire fulfilled.

            Let it be known that if we teach our mind to go down to the heart with our breath, we will also notice that when we go up there, it is single and naked, holding on to one memory and calling of our Lord Jesus Christ; on the contrary, when we go out from there and reach out to external objects, it reluctantly divides itself into many ideas and memories. In order to preserve this simplicity and singleness of the mind, it was commanded by the fathers experienced in this matter that he who was zealous to acquire the skill of sobering up the mind in the heart should sit in a silent and dark place, especially at the beginning of this good feat. For the sight of external objects is naturally the cause of the scattering of thoughts. When a silent and dark temple hides the external from us, the thought ceases to be amused and more conveniently gathers itself into itself, as Basil the Great says: the mind that is not spread out by feelings into the world returns to itself.

            Note carefully that the essence of this feat consists in a single-minded, heartfelt, pure and not broad calling with the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, and not in this single ascent to the heart by breathing and sitting in a silent and dark place. All this and the like were invented by the fathers for no other reason than that they saw in this a kind of aid for collecting thoughts and returning them to themselves from their usual wandering. From the habit of being collected and listening to oneself is born the habit of praying purely and not fervently with the mind in the heart.

            Know also that all such adaptive positions of the body are prescribed, determined by detailed rules, and considered necessary until pure and unstirring prayer in the heart disappears. When, by the good will and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, you have achieved this, then, having abandoned many and various actions, you will be more united with the one Lord of pure and unstirring prayer of the heart, without needing those adaptations.

            Therefore, if you want to be worthy of life for Christ Jesus by deed, try to achieve that at any time and at any hour, and in every matter, you can pray to the Lord in your heart purely and not ardently, so that in this way from the age of infancy you can achieve in  man the perfection, in proportion to the age of fulfillment of Christ.  Do not forget that when you sometimes have a spontaneous pure prayer, you should in no case ruin it with your prayer rules. Thus teaches Philemon: whether at night or during the day, the Lord will make you worthy of pure and unadulterated prayer, then abandon your rules and as much as you have strength, strive to cling to the Lord God, and He will enlighten your heart in spiritual work.

            When you are worthy of the unceasing presence of prayer in your heart, then, as Isaac the Syrian says, you have reached the end of all virtues and have become the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit; then prayer will not cease, whether you sit, walk, eat, drink, or do anything else; even in deep sleep, the fragrance of prayer will easily come from your heart; even if it falls silent in sleep, it will always secretly perform a sacred function within, without interruption.

B. SECOND ROW.

1) THE WORDS OF HESYCHIOS, PRESBYTERIAN OF JERUSALEM.

            1) Attention is the uninterrupted silence of the heart from all thought, in which it always breathes Christ Jesus, the Son of God and God, and Him alone, calls upon Him, courageously takes up arms against enemies, and has the power to forsake sins (confesses one’s own).

            2) Sobriety is the firm establishment and standing of the mind at the door of the heart; so that it sees how other people’s thoughts, these thieves-kidnappers, approach, hears what these destroyers say and do and what images the demons draw and enclose, trying to capture the mind through it in dreams and seduce it. If we are hard to go through such an action, it will clearly show us the art of mental slander (chap. 6).

            3) Images of sobriety: the first is to look unfailingly at dreams, or at an example; the second is to always have a heart deeply silent and speechless from every thought and to pray; the third is to constantly call upon the Lord Jesus Christ for help in humility; the fourth is to have in the soul a constant remembrance of death; the fifth is the most effective of all – to look only to heaven, blaming the earth for nothing (chapters 14-18).

            4) He who labors within must have these four actions at every moment:  humility, extreme attention, contradiction of thoughts, and prayer  .  Humility  – so that, since the slander comes to him from rivals, proud demons, he always has the help of Christ in the hand of his heart; for the Lord hates the proud.  Attention  , so that he always keeps his heart free from any thought, even if he seems good.  Contradiction  , so that as soon as the keenness of the mind understands who has come, he immediately contradicts the evil one with anger, as they say:  and I repay evil to those who harm me, – will not my soul be guilty before God .  Prayer  , so that after the contradiction, he immediately cries out to Christ from the depths of his heart with an inexpressible sigh. And then the ascetic himself will see how, worshiped by the name of Jesus, the enemy with his dreams will scatter like dust in the wind, or disappear like smoke (ch. 20).

            5) He who does not have a prayer that is pure in thought has no weapon against abuse, a prayer, I say, that which would constantly work in the inner secrets of the soul and, by the call of the Lord Jesus Christ, scourge and scorch the enemy who secretly fights (chapter 21).

            6) It is your duty to look within with a sharp and intense gaze of the mind to recognize the incoming. As soon as you recognize, immediately crush the head of the serpent with a contradiction, and at the same time cry out to Christ with a sigh. And then you will receive the experience of invisible divine intercession (chap. 22).

            7) If you always have in your heart with humble wisdom, remembrance of death, self-reproach, and the contradiction of thoughts and the calling of Jesus Christ, and with these instruments you daily walk the imaginary path, narrow but joyful and sweet, then you will enter the holy contemplation of the saints,  and therein are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and reason  . For through Christ Jesus you will feel that the Holy Spirit has descended into your soul, by whom a person is enlightened with an open face to behold the glory of the Lord (chap. 29).

            8)  The devil, like a roaring lion, walks about  with his hordes,  seeking whom he may devour  . Let us never cease to be attentive to our hearts, sober, to speak our thoughts, and to pray to Christ Jesus our God. For you will not find a better help than Jesus for your whole life, for He alone is the Lord, as God, who knows the wiles, tricks, and cunning of demons (chap. 39).

            9) Just as sensible salt makes bread and all food delicious, protects meat from decay and preserves it intact for a long time, so consider the intelligent preservation of imaginary pleasure and the wonderful action in the heart. For it divinely delights both the inner and outer man, drives away the stench of evil thoughts and keeps us constant in goodness (chap. 87).

            10) The more attentively you listen to your reason, the more fervently you will pray to Jesus; and again, the more carelessly you watch over your reason, the more you will distance yourself from Jesus. And just as the former greatly illuminates the air of reason, so the latter, that is, evasion of the sobering and sweet call of Jesus, usually completely darkens it (chap. 90).

            11) The continuous, with a certain warm desire, full of sweetness and joy, calling on Jesus does that the air of the heart from extreme attention is filled with comforting silence. But in order for the heart to be completely purified, the culprit is Jesus Christ, the Son of God and God, the Author and Creator of all good. For He Himself says:  I am God, the creator of the world  (Chapter 91).

            12) The divine state is born from the unceasing remembrance and calling upon our Lord Jesus Christ, if you do not neglect constant prayer to Him in your mind and continuous sobriety, as the only urgently necessary thing. And truly, one and the same thing should always be done by us – the calling of Jesus Christ, our Lord; calling upon Him with a fervent heart, may He grant us to partake and taste His name. For frequentation is the mother of habit, both to virtue and vice; and habit then already reigns, like nature. Having come to such a state, the mind already seeks its adversaries, like a wild dog a hare in the bushes; but the one seeks in order to devour, and the other to strike and scatter (ch. 97).

            13) The great David, experienced in deeds, says to the Lord:  I will preserve my kingdom for You . So the preservation in us of the kingdom of the heart and mental silence, from which all virtues are born, depends on the assistance of the Lord, who gave us commandments and drives away from us, when we call upon Him unceasingly, unnecessary forgetfulness, which often destroys the silence of the heart, like water does to fire. Therefore, do not fall asleep from negligence to your own destruction, but in the name of Jesus scourge your adversaries. This is the sweetest name and will be pleasing to your breath; and then you will recognize the benefit of silence (ch. 100).

            14) When we unworthily merit to partake with fear and trembling of the divine pure Mysteries of Christ our God and King, then we will show the greatest sobriety, preservation of reason and strict attention, and this divine fire, that is, the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, requires sins for sins. For, entering into us, He immediately drives away from the heart the evil spirits of malice and forgives us our former sins; and our mind then remains free from the restless annoyance of evil thoughts. If after this, standing at the door of the heart, you carefully guard your mind, then when you again merit the Holy Mysteries, the divine body will illuminate our mind more and more and make it shine like a star (chap. 101).

            15) We must take great care to preserve what is precious; for truly precious to us is only that which preserves us from all evil, both sensual and imaginary. Such is the preservation of the mind with the calling of Jesus Christ – to always look into the depths of the heart and ceaselessly silence thoughts, even, I would say, to try to be empty of thoughts that seem right, and of all thoughts in general, so that the fathers do not hide under them (chap. 103).

            16) We must always revolve the name of Jesus Christ in the space of our hearts, as lightning revolves in the air before becoming rain. This is well known to those who have spiritual experience in internal struggle. This internal battle should be waged in the same way as an ordinary war is waged. First of all, attention; then, when we notice that a hostile thought has approached, let us throw at it with anger the words of an oath from the heart; the third thing is then to pray against it, turning our hearts to the call of Jesus Christ, may this demonic ghost be dispersed immediately, otherwise the mind will not follow in the footsteps of this dream, like a child tempted by some skillful magician (chap. 105).

            17) Here is a wonderful fruit for the mind from silence, that in it the sins that first knock on the mind only in thoughts, so that, if they are accepted by the heart, they later become gross sins of the senses, are all cut off by the imaginary virtue of sobriety in our inner man, which does not allow them to enter inside and enter inside and enter inside and Jesus Christ (chap. 111).

            18) As the valleys bear abundantly wheat, so the Jesus Prayer will bear abundantly in your heart all good; or rather our Lord Jesus Christ Himself will give it to you, without whom we can do nothing. And first you will find it as a ladder, then as a book in which you will read, finally, more and more flourishing, you will find it as the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the King of powers with His Father who is one and worshipped by the Holy Spirit (ch. 117).

            19) The soul, having risen after death into the air to the gates of heaven, will not be ashamed of its enemies there, having Christ with it; but then, as now, it will boldly speak out to them  at the gate  . Only until its very end, let it not tire of crying day and night to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and He will create vengeance for it soon because of the false divine promise, which He spoke in the parable of the unjust judge:  I tell you, He will create vengeance for it soon  , both in this life and after its departure from the body (ch. 149).

            20) If, having begun to dwell in the mind’s attention, we combine humility with sobriety, and prayer with conversation, then we will walk well in thought with the worshiped and holy name of Jesus Christ, as with a lamp of light. But if we hope in our sobriety or attention alone, then soon, having succumbed to the attack of enemies, we will fall, having been thrown down. And then these cunning thieves will begin to overcome us in everything, and we will begin to be more and more entangled in evil desires, as in nets, or we will easily succumb to their perfect slaughter, not having within us the victorious sword, the name of Jesus Christ. For only this consecrated sword, being constantly turned in a heart that has been abolished from all image, is able to turn them back and cut, scorch and consume, like fire stubble (chap. 152).

            21) The work of constant sobriety is beneficial and fruitful for the soul, and it is to immediately see the dreamy thoughts that arise in the mind. The work of dialogue is to expose and expose to shame the thought that has attempted to enter the air of our mind through the representation of some sensual object. That which immediately extinguishes and disperses every intention of the adversaries, every word, every dream, every idol and every pillar of malice, is  the call of the Lord  . And we ourselves see, in the mind, how greatly Jesus, our great God, strikes them and how He protects us, humble, poor and useless (ch. 153).

            22) A ship cannot sail many miles without water; it will not achieve success and preservation of reason without sobriety with humility and constant prayer to Jesus Christ (chap. 168).

            23) Through unceasing prayer of the mind, the air in us becomes clean from gloomy clouds and winds of evil spirits. When the air of the heart is clean, then nothing prevents the divine light of Jesus from shining in it, unless we are lifted up by vanity and doubt, are carried away to the unattainable, and are therefore deprived of Jesus’ help; because Christ hates such things, being the model of humility (chap. 175).

            24) Just as letters should not be written in the air, but should be drawn with a chisel on some solid body, so that they may be preserved for a long time: so with our heavy sobriety we should combine the Jesus Prayer, so that the beautiful virtue of sobriety together with Him may be complete in us, and through Him in Him in Him in Him. 183).

            25) The preservation of reason with God’s help and for the sake of the one God who acts, having established himself in the soul, gives the reason wisdom to perform feats according to God; it also provides its participant with no small ability to arrange external deeds and words according to God, with impeccable reasoning (chap. 194).

            26) Blessed indeed is he who, having so clung to the Jesus Prayer in his mind, cries out to Him unceasingly in his heart, as the air clings to our bodies, or the flame to a candle. The sun, passing over the earth, makes day, and the holy and venerable Name of the Lord Jesus, shining unceasingly in the soul, gives rise to a multitude of sun-like thoughts (ch. 196).

            27) When the clouds disperse, the air is clear; when passionate dreams are dispersed by the sun of truth, Jesus Christ, then usually luminous and starry thoughts are born in the heart through the sanctification of the heart air by Jesus (chap. 197).

2) THE OBJECTIONS OF PHILOTHEUS OF SINAI.

            1) The creator of piety should have such speech and pursue that goal with the mind, so that, like a certain pearl or a precious stone, the memory of God may be perfectly stilled in the heart. It will help to leave everything, even the body, and to neglect the true life, in order to gain the one God in one’s heart (ch. 1).

            2) In the morning, one must courageously and steadfastly stand at the door of the heart, with a strong memory of God and an unceasing prayer to Jesus Christ in the soul, and with this thought, kill all the sinners of the earth, that is, with a faithful, strengthened, and sorrowful memory of God, hew down (Chapter 2).

            3) Sobriety is rightly called  a path  , because it leads to the kingdom, both to that which is within us, and to the future, and  a wise creator  (spiritual workshop), because it produces and whitens (polishes) spiritual customs and transforms the passionate into the dispassionate. It is also like a light window through which God came into reason (ch. 3).

            4) Where there is humility, remembrance of God with sobriety and attention, and frequent prayer directed against enemies, there is the place of God, or the heaven of the heart, in which the demonic horde is afraid to stand because God lives in this place (ch. 4).

            5) The first door that leads into the mental Jerusalem, to the attention of the mind, is the intelligent silence of the lips, although the mind is not yet silent; the second is measured moderation in eating, drinking, and sleeping; the third is what purifies the mind and body, the incessant memory and reflection on death (chap. 6).

            6) The sweet memory of God, that is, Jesus Christ, with anger of the heart and saving hostility (to everything sinful) usually destroys all the spells of thoughts, various suggestions, words and dreams, shameful imaginations, and, in short, everything that is hostile to, to devour our souls. Jesus, being called, burns everything easily. For there is salvation in no one else, except Christ Jesus. This is what the Savior himself said, saying:  without Me you can do nothing  (chap. 22).

            7) At any hour and at any moment, let us guard our hearts with all our care from thoughts that darken the mirror of the soul, in which Jesus Christ alone, who is the wisdom and power of God the Father, should be printed and illuminated. Let us constantly seek the kingdom of heaven within our hearts; and, of course, we will mysteriously find within ourselves both the grain, and the pearl, and the leaven, and everything else, if we cleanse the eye of our mind. For this reason, our Lord Jesus Christ said:  The kingdom of God is within you , understanding through that Divinity that dwells within the heart (ch. 23).

            8) In conducting internal slander, do this: combine prayer with sobriety, and sobriety will strengthen prayer, and prayer will strengthen sobriety. Sobriety, constantly watching everything within, notices how enemies are trying to enter there, and, blocking their entrance with its strength, calls at the same time for the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, so that He may drive out these evil soldiers. In this, the entrance threatens attention in the form of a contradiction; and Jesus, who is called upon, drives out demons with their dreams (ch. 25).

            9) Guard your mind with extreme attention. As soon as you notice an enemy’s thought, immediately contradict it, but at the same time hasten to call upon Christ the Lord for vengeance. The sweetest Jesus, when you speak, will say: Behold, I am with you to intercede for you. But even after all these enemies are subdued by your prayer, continue to listen diligently to your mind. Behold, again the waves of thoughts that multiplied the previous ones will rush at you, one after another, so that from them the soul seems to be already plunging into the abyss and is ready to perish. But Jesus, stirred up by the disciples, again, like God, forbids the evil winds of thoughts, and they subside. But you, having gained freedom from enemy attacks, for an hour or a minute, glorify Him who saved you, and delve into the thoughts of death (ch. 26).

            10) With every heartfelt attention in spiritual feeling you will make your way. Attention and prayer, being combined together daily, do something similar to the fiery chariot of Elijah, raising to the heavenly heights the one who is involved in them. And what am I saying? In one who has established himself in sobriety, the pure heart becomes an imaginary sky, with its sun, moon and stars, it is the receptacle of the incomprehensible God by mysterious vision and ascension (rapture of the mind) (ch. 27).

3) VIRICHI THEOLIPTUS METROPOLITAN. (Dobrot. 2. November. 44-50).

            1) The setting of the sun makes night; and when Christ departs from the soul, then the darkness of the passions embraces it, and the thinking beasts begin to torment it. The sensual sun has risen, and the beasts hide in their caves. Christ shines on the firmament of the praying mind; and every worldly custom departs, and the mind goes forth to its work, that is, to divine instruction until evening (list 45 op.).

            2) Refrain from external conversations and struggle with internal thoughts until you find a place of pure prayer – and a home in which Christ dwells, enlightening and delighting you with His knowledge and visitation (ibid.).

            3) The footprint on the snow, either by the sun shining, melting, or by water that has seeped in, is destroyed; and the memories, imprinted in the mind by sensual deeds, are destroyed by Christ, who has shone in the heart by prayer, and by the rain of tears of the well-doers (letter 46).

            4) Frequent prayers, performed mentally with fervent emotion, smooth out the memory of past deeds. The enlightenment of the soul with the memory of God, with faith and disappointment of the heart, eats away bad memories like a razor (ibid.).

            5) Having secluded yourself externally, try to further enter the inner guard (watchtower) of the soul, which is the house of Christ, where peace, joy and silence are always inherent. The mental sun Christ gives these gifts, as some rays emanate from Himself, and as a kind of reward He presents to the soul that receives Him with faith and charity (letter 46 op.).

            6) Sitting in your solitude, remember God, withdrawing your mind from everything and directing it to the one God; pour out before Him all the affection of your heart, and cling to Him with love. The memory of God is the intelligent sight of God, which attracts the sight and desire of the mind, and illuminates it with light from itself. The mind, turning to God, after all figurative representations of existing things have ceased in it, sees God invisibly (ibid.).

            7) Prayer is an imaginary conversation with the Lord, uttering prayerful verbs with the present yearning of the mind towards God. When the thought often utters the name of the Lord, and the mind clearly listens to the invocation of the divine name, then the light of the knowledge of the Lord, like a bright face, illuminates the whole soul (ibid.).

            8) Believe me, I tell you the truth, that if in all your actions you will have the mother of all good things – prayer – inseparable from you, then she will not slumber until she shows you the surroundings of it, leads you into it, and fulfills indescribable glory and joy. She, having removed all obstacles, smoothes the path of virtue and makes it convenient for the one who seeks it (letter 48).

            9) Walking in thought, read the verbs of prayer, and speak to the Lord, constantly crying out and not grieving; praying unceasingly, imitating the indefatigability of this widow who pleaded with the unruly judge. Then (this will mean that) you walk in the spirit, do not listen to the lusts of the flesh, and do not interrupt the continuity of prayer with worldly thoughts, but are the temple of God, in which God is silently praised. Thus praying mentally, you will finally be able to achieve unceasing remembrance of God, enter into the inaccessible secrets of the mind, in mysterious contemplations see the invisible, one to one on one serving God, in the intelligent you alone have poured out love (letter 48 op.).

4) THE VERSE OF BARSONOPHIOS THE GREAT AND JOHN.

            1) By calling upon the name of God, enemies are weakened. Knowing this, we will not cease to call upon the name of God for help. This is prayer, and the Scripture says:  pray without ceasing  (answer 422).

            2) Remember that God is a knower of hearts, looks at the heart, and call upon Him in your heart. This is what is said in Scripture:  Shut your door and pray to your Father who is in secret . Let us close our mouths and pray to Him in our hearts; for whoever closes his mouth and calls upon God, or prays to Him in his heart, fulfills the aforementioned commandment (answer 427).

            3) Your heart’s work should consist in praying to God without ceasing. If you wish to succeed in this, make a beginning and seek not lazily, hoping, and God will bless you with success (answer 26).

            4) The constant invocation of the name of God is a medicine that kills not only the passions, but also their very action. As a doctor seeks out a suitable remedy or a plaster for the wound of a sufferer, and they work, and the patient does not know how it is done: so also the name of God, when invoked, kills all the passions, although we do not know how it is done (A. 421).

            5) The Lord said:  ask and it shall be given you . Pray to the All-Good God, may He send you the Holy Spirit the Comforter, and He who has come will teach you all things and reveal to you all the ordinances. Find Him as your guide; He will not allow any delight or distraction in your heart, nor will He allow any negligence, sloth or drowsiness to enter your mind; He will enlighten your eyes, strengthen your heart, and elevate your mind. Cling to Him, believe in Him, love Him (answer 136).

            6) When you see that the enemy’s combination prevents you from praying, do not enter into a debate with him, but try to call on the name of God, and God will help you and nullify the wiles of the enemy (answer 424).

            7) Perfect prayer consists in talking to God without being distracted by thoughts, but in gathering all one’s thoughts and feelings. A person enters into a state where he dies to all people, to the world, and to everything in it. Such a person has nothing in mind during prayer except that he is waiting for God and talking to him (answer 79).

B. A VERY USEFUL WORD ABOUT ABBE PHILEMON.

            1) It was said of Abba Philemon the hermit that he shut himself up in a cave not far from the Lavra called the Romieva and devoted himself to ascetic struggles, mentally repeating to himself the same thing that, as is reported, the Great Arsenius said to himself: Philemon, what about you? He spent a contented time in this cave. His business was to weave ropes and weave baskets, which he gave to the economy, and from it he received small loaves of bread, with which he ate. He ate nothing except bread and salt, and even then not every day. He apparently had no care for the body at all, but, practicing contemplation, he was in divine enlightenment, and, being delighted from there by an ineffable vision, he was in spiritual education. Going to church on Saturdays and Sundays, he always went alone in self-absorption, not allowing anyone to approach him, so that his mind would not be distracted from his work. In church, standing in a corner and with his face down, he would let out springs of tears, constantly complaining and turning over in his mind the memory of his heart and the image of the holy fathers, especially Arsenius the Great, in whose footsteps he tried in every way to follow.

            2) When a lie appeared in Alexandria and its surroundings, he left there and retired to the Nikanor Lavra. Having received him, the God-loving Pavich gave him his secluded place and arranged silence for him. For a whole year he did not allow anyone to see him, and he himself did not bother him at all, except at the time when he served the necessary bread. The Holy Resurrection of Christ came; when at the meeting a conversation broke out between them, and the topic touched on the hermit’s life; Then Philemon realized that this reverent brother Pavich also harbored a beautiful intention (to live in the wilderness), instilling in him many ascetic words, both written and unwritten, showing everyone that without perfect solitude it is impossible to please God, just as Moses also expounds on asceticism, and asceticism gives birth to weeping, weeping to fear, fear to humility, humility to insight, insight to love, and love makes the soul healthy and dispassionate, and then a person realizes that he is not far from God.

            3) He (Philemon) said to him: It is your duty to purify the mind completely by means of silence and to give it unceasing spiritual activity. As the eye, turning to the sensible, is amazed at the visible, so the pure mind, turning to thought, is delighted with spiritual contemplation, so that you will not turn it away from it. And to the extent that it is stripped of passions and purified by means of silence, so much will knowledge (the spirit of spiritual things) be pleasing. The mind is perfect when it tastes essential knowledge and is united with God. Then, having the dignity of a king, it no longer feels poverty and is not delighted with earthly desires, even if you offer it all the kingdoms. Therefore, if you want to achieve such good things, flee from the world and with the diligence of a lady follow the path of the saints, abandon concern for your appearance, wear poor clothing and humble adornment. Keep your character simple, your speech simple, your step impious, your voice unruffled. Love to live in poverty and be careless of all. Take the greatest care to preserve your mind and sobriety, be patient in all hardships and in every way preserve the spiritual goods you have already acquired intact and unmoved. Watch yourself carefully and do not accept any of the passions that secretly creep in. For although silence tames the passions of the soul, if you allow them to flare up and become more intense, they usually become even more furious, and those who allow this, with even greater force, cause sin. So too, bodily wounds, when rubbed and torn, are incurable. A single word can distance the mind from the memory of God, when the demons are bored with it and the feelings agree with them. A great feat and fear is to preserve the soul. Therefore, it behooves you to completely withdraw from the world and, having renounced your soul from all sympathy for the body, become homeless, homeless, ownerless, moneyless, unselfish, carefree, uncommunicative, ignorant of human affairs, humble, compassionate, good, gentle, meek, quiet, quiet. seal in the heart. For it is impossible to write even on wax without first smoothing out the letters drawn on it, as Basil the Great teaches us. Such was the image of the saints, who, having completely distanced themselves from all worldly customs and preserving heavenly wisdom unshakable within themselves, were enlightened by divine laws and shone with pious deeds and words,  having put to death the evils of the earth  by restraint, the fear of God and love. For by unceasing prayer and instruction in the divine scriptures, the eyes of the intelligent heart are opened and they see the King of powers, and there is great joy, and an uncontrollable divine desire flares up strongly in the soul, while the flesh is also preserved there, by the action of the Spirit, and the whole man is made spiritual. This is what is bestowed upon the creators of blessed silence and the most austere ascetic life, who, having withdrawn themselves from all human comfort, alone converse unceasingly with the only Master who exists in heaven.

            4) Having heard this, that God-loving brother, and being struck with divine love in his soul, leaves his place and together with him (Philemon) reaches the hermitage, where the greatest of the fathers have completed the path of piety. They settled down to live in the Lavra of St. John Kolov, entrusting their care to the economy of the Lavra, since they wanted to remain in silence. And they remained here by the grace of God in complete silence, on Saturdays and Sundays ascending to the general church assembly, and the rest of the days remaining in themselves; and each performed prayer and service separately.

            5) The holy elder (Philemon) had the following rules for his service: at night he would sing the entire Psalter and the songs (9, which are included in the Psalter), slowly, without fuss, read one beginning of the Gospel, then he would sit and sit, saying to himself:  Lord, have mercy!  with all attention and for quite a long time, until he could no longer pronounce this appeal; and finally he would let himself fall asleep. Then again at dawn he would sing the first hour, and sitting on his saddle facing east, he would alternately sing (the psalms) and read, of his own free will, from the Apostle and the Gospel. Thus he spent the whole day incessantly singing, praying and enjoying the contemplation of heavenly things; his mind was often so absorbed in contemplation that he did not know whether he was on earth.

            6) The brother, seeing that he was so devoted to prayer service and sometimes completely lost in divine thoughts, said to him: “Is it difficult for you, father, at such an old age to so mortify and enslave your body?” He answered him: “Believe me, God has put such diligence and such love for prayer service into my soul that I am not able to fully satisfy it with that desire; but bodily weakness is overcome by love for God and the hope of future blessings.” Thus all his desires were wisely distorted to heaven, and this even during the meal, and not only at other times.

            7) Once a certain brother of his asked him what the secrets of contemplation were. And he, seeing his perseverance and the fact that he sincerely sought knowledge, said to him: I tell you, child, that to him whose mind is completely purified, God reveals the vision of the most sacred powers and ranks (of angels).

            8) He also asked him the following: Why, father, do you delight in the Psalter more than in any other divine Scripture, and why, singing quietly, do you imagine yourself as if you were talking to someone? To this he said to him: “God has so filled my soul with the power of the Psalms, as in the prophet David himself, and I cannot tear myself away from the delight of all kinds of contemplations hidden in them; for they embrace the whole of divine Scripture.” This he confessed with great humility, for the sake of benefit, and after long and persistent supplication.

            9) A certain brother named John, having rushed from the seaside, came to this holy and great father Philemon, and embracing his feet, said to him: What shall I do, father, that I may be saved? For my mind is carried away and wanders hither and thither where it should not be. And he, after a little silence, said: This disease (of the soul) belongs to those who are external, and it dwells in them. And it is in you, because you have not yet received the love of God completely, the warmth of His love and knowledge has not yet come to you. The brother says to him: What shall I do, father? He said to him: Go, take the secret teaching in your heart, and it will cleanse your mind from this. The brother, not being initiated into what was indicated by this, says to the elder: What is this secret teaching, father? And he said to him: Go, be sober in your heart, and in your mind, soberly say with fear and trembling: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! Thus teaches the first and blessed Diadochus.

            10) The brother went and, with the help of God, having calmed down through his father’s prayers, enjoyed such instruction for a little while. But then this pleasure left him, and he could no longer soberly do such an act and pray. Wherefore he went again to the elder and told him what had happened. The elder said to him: now you have already recognized the path of silence and intelligent action and have tasted the sweetness that comes from it. Keep this always in your heart – whether you eat, drink, talk to anyone, whether you are on the road, or sit in a kelim, do not cease to pray with a sober thought and with an unwandering mind in such a prayer, to sing and be instructed in prayers and psalms; even when correcting your most necessary needs, do not let your mind be empty, but force it to be secretly instructed and prayed. Thus you can understand the depths of the divine Scripture and the power hidden in it and give your mind unceasing action, let you fulfill the apostolic word that commands: ”  Pray without ceasing  . ” Observe yourself carefully and guard your heart from accepting evil thoughts, or any vain and unprofitable thoughts; but always, both when you sleep and when you get up, and when you eat and when you drink, and when you carry on a conversation, let your heart secretly meditate, then study the psalms, then pray: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! Also, when you sing psalms with your tongue, listen, so as not to say one thing with your lips, and soar in another with your mind.

            11) The brother asked him again: I see many vain dreams during sleep. The elder said to him: Do not be lazy and do not lose heart; but before you fall asleep, make many prayers in your heart and resist the thoughts and attempts of the devil to lead you according to his will, may God accept you. As much as you have strength, take care to fall asleep with psalms on your lips and reasonable instruction, and do not allow your mind to receive other people’s thoughts out of negligence, but with what thoughts you prayed, in those instruction you will lean over and lie down on your bed, so that when you sleep, they will be in you, and when they have been in you, and when about you. Also say the holy symbol of the Orthodox faith before laying down, because believing in God is the source and protection of all good things.

            12) His brother also asked him: Have mercy, father, tell me what is the function of your mind? Teach me, so that I may also be saved. He said to him: Why do you care to know this? He stood up, embraced the saint’s feet, and, pressing them, begged him to tell him this. After a long time, the elder said: You cannot bear this any longer. It is proper for a man to give every feeling a suitable task, what is the custom of turning around in the blessings of truth; and it is impossible for one to be worthy of this gift who has not become completely pure from the vain thoughts of the world. Therefore, if you truly desire this, keep the secret teaching in a pure heart. For if prayer and teaching in the Scriptures abide in you unceasingly; then the eyes of your soul will be opened, and there will be great joy in it, and a feeling of indescribable and hotness, when warmed by the Spirit and the flesh, so that the whole person will become spiritual. Therefore, whether by night or by day God will grant you to pray undistractedly with a pure mind, abandon your prayer rule, and, as much as you have strength, strive to cling to God. And he will enlighten your heart in the spiritual work you have undertaken.

            To this he added: once an elder came to me, and when I asked him about the disposition of his mind, he told me: For two years I spent myself in prayer before God, earnestly beseeching Him from a sincere heart, may He grant me that my prayer, which my labor and patience have granted me, may be imprinted in my heart unceasingly and undistractedly.

            And here is what he said to him: Thoughts about vain things that occur in the soul are the disease of an impeccable soul that has given itself over to negligence; wherefore it is fitting, according to the Scripture, for us to guard our reason with all caution, to sing wisely without distraction, and to pray with a pure mind. Therefore, brother, God wants us to show our diligence towards Him, first by works (asceticism and charity), then by love and unceasing prayer, and He will show us the way of salvation. It is evident that there is no other way that leads to heaven than a perfect separation from all evil, the acquisition of all good, perfect love for God, and abiding with Him in reverence and truth, so that if anyone has this, he will soon be seized by the heavenly face. But at the same time, everyone who wants to take to heights must immediately mortify the desires that exist on earth. For when our soul delights in the contemplation of true good, it no longer returns to any of the passions that are excited by the sweet sinful; but turning away from every bodily lust, it perceives the manifestation of God with a pure and undefiled thought. Therefore, we need great self-preservation, many bodily labors and purification of the soul, and let us instill God into our hearts, so that we may otherwise sinlessly fulfill His divine commandments, and that He Himself may teach us to observe His laws, radiating, like a sunbeam, His actions upon us, invested in us by the grace of the Spirit. By labors and temptations we must purify the image after which we were created intelligent and capable of receiving all understanding and likeness to God, bearing feelings pure from all defilement through the melting of them by someone in the furnace of temptations, and being embodied in royal dignity. God has created human nature to share in every good, which can contemplate in thought the joys of angels of glory, dominion, power, beginning, authority, unapproachable light, most radiant glory. But when you correct some virtue, be careful not to exalt your thoughts above your brother, because you corrected it, and he hated it; for this is the beginning of pride. When you struggle with any passion, be careful not to be sad and not to be discouraged because the slander persists; but having risen, turn yourself before the face of God, saying with a sincere heart with the prophet:  Judge, Lord, those who insult me , for I am not strong against them. And He, seeing your humility, will quickly send you His help. When you go with someone on a journey, do not accept vain conversation, but give the mind the spiritual activity that it had, so that this good habit and forgetfulness of worldly sweets may remain in it, and it may not leave the harbor of dispassion.

            Having declared his brother with these and many other words, the elder let him go.

            13) But after a while, he came again and, starting to speak, asked: What should I do, father? During my nightly service, sleep burdens me and does not allow me to pray soberly and increase; and I want to take up work while I sing. To this the elder said: If you can pray soberly, do not touch the needlework; but if you are embraced by drowsiness, then, moving a little against the thought, resisting it, touch the needlework. He asked again: Are you yourself, father, not burdened by sleep during your service? The elder said: It is not so easy; however, when drowsiness sometimes attacks, I move a little, but I begin to read the Gospel of John from the beginning, raising the eye of my mind to God, and it immediately disappears. I do the same with thoughts, namely, when I find one of them, I meet it like fire with tears, and it disappears. You cannot yet arm yourself against them in this way; but rather keep the secret teaching and try to fulfill what the holy fathers have established, such as daytime prayers, at certain hours: the third, sixth, ninth, and evening, as well as night services. And try with all your might not to do anything for the sake of men, and beware of having enmity with any of your brethren, so as not to distance yourself from your God. Try also to keep your mind undistracted, which listens wholeheartedly to your inner thoughts. When, being in church, you intend to partake of the holy Mysteries of Christ, do not leave it until you have received perfect peace. Having stood in one place, do not depart from there until the very day of your departure; but think within yourself that you are in heaven, and with the holy angels you await God, intending to receive Him into your heart; Prepare for this with fear and trembling, so as not to be a worthy partaker of the holy powers.

            Having thus well armed his brother, and having given him over to the Lord and the Spirit of His grace, the elder released him.

            14) Before this, the brother who lived with him also told the following. Sitting near him one day, I asked him: was he tempted by demonic slanders while living in the desert? He said: Forgive me, brother, if God allows you to be tempted by the devil, to which I was subject, I do not think that you can bear their bitterness. I am seventy years old, or even more, and I have suffered many temptations, living in various deserts in perfect silence; what I have experienced and endured from these demons, the bitterness of which is not useful to tell those who have not yet been tempted by silence. In such temptations I always did this: I placed all my hope in God, to whom I also gave vows of renunciation, and He soon delivered me from every need. Why, brother, do I now no longer make any provision for myself; but knowing that He cares for me, I very easily endure the temptations that come upon me. And I bring Him only that from myself, to pray unceasingly. Much help in this is also the hope that the greater the sorrows and troubles that befall, the greater the crowns they prepare for the patient: for in the righteous Judge both these and others balance each other. Knowing this, brother, do not give in to cowardice. You have entered the midst of the fight to fight, and fight, inspired also by the fact that those who fight for us against the enemy of God are very many, more than the enemy hordes. And how could one dare to oppose such a terrible adversary of our race, if the sovereign right hand of God the Word did not embrace us, did not fence us in and cover us? How could human nature withstand his slander? For as Job says,  who will reveal the face of his clothing? Who will come to his destruction? Out of his mouth go forth like burning candles, and they are set like sparks of fire. Out of his nostrils go forth the smoke of a furnace, burning coals of fire. His soul is like coals, and like a flame goeth out of his mouth. Power is in his neck, and destruction runneth before him. His heart is hard as a stone, and he standeth as an anvil, unmoving. He kindles the abyss like a brazen furnace, and imagines the sea as a peaceful furnace, and Tartarus the abyss as a captive. The king himself seeth all things high, and all that is in the waters.. This is who we have a scolding against, brother! This is how and how many the word of this tyrant has depicted! With all this, victory over him is convenient for those who, as it should be, live a solitary life, because they have nothing in themselves that belongs to him, because they have renounced the world; because of their high virtues, and because we have one who conquers us. For who, tell me, having approached the Lord and having accepted His fear into the mind, has not been incarnated by nature and illuminated himself with divine laws and deeds, has not made his soul bright and capable of shining with divine understandings and thoughts? But he never allows it to be holy, having God within him, who excites the mind to insatiably desire light. And he thus continuously influences the soul, does not allow the spirit to be indulged in passions; but like a king who, breathing terrible anger and harmony, mercilessly cuts them down. Such a person never turns back, but through practice (virtue) with the influence of hands on heaven and intelligent prayer, he gains victory in the struggle.

            15) The brother also told that among other virtues Abba Philemon had this: he could not bear to hear an idle word, and if someone, having forgotten, told something that did not concern the benefit of the soul, he did not respond to it at all. Also, when I went on any business, he did not ask: for what purpose did you go? And when I returned, he did not say: where were you? or what and how did you do? So once I sailed to Alexandria for a necessary need, and from there on some church business I set out for Constantinople, without letting the servant of God know about it; then, having stayed there for a long time, having visited the pious brothers there, I finally returned to him in the hermitage. When the elder saw me, he was glad, and with the usual greeting, having formed a prayer, sat down; but he did not ask me anything at all, but was busy with his usual intelligent work.

            16) Once, wanting to test him, I did not give him bread to eat for several days. He did not ask for any bread and did not say anything about it. Then, bowing down, I asked him: show love, father, and tell me if you are not offended that I did not bring you food according to custom. He said: Forgive me, brother! If you do not give me bread to eat for twenty days, I will not ask you for it; for as long as I suffer in soul, I also suffer in body. Thus I was occupied with the contemplation of true good.

            17) He said: since I came to the hermitage, I have not allowed my thoughts to go beyond the walls of my cell; but I have not accepted any other thought into my mind, except the fear of God and the judgments of the age to come, keeping in mind the judgment threatening sinners and the eternal fire and the impenetrable darkness, and how the souls of sinners and the righteous live, and what blessings are prepared for the righteous, and how everyone receives his reward for his labor – alms and unfeigned love, another for unhappiness and complete silence, one for extreme obedience, another for wandering. I contain all this in my mind, I do not allow any other thought to act in me, and I can no longer be with people or occupy my mind with them, so as not to stray from divine thoughts.

            18) To this he added a story about a certain recluse, saying that he had already attained dispassion and received bread from the hand of an angel, but through a loss of attention he lost such honor. For when the soul weakens the keen and intense attention of the mind, then night overtakes that soul. Where God does not shine, everything is poured out as in darkness; and then the soul cannot look to the one God and tremble at his words.  God draws near to Me  , says the Lord, and  not God from afar. Or does man hide himself in secret places, and shall I not see him? Do not I fill heaven and earth with food? And he recalled many others who suffered similarly. He also cited the fall of Solomon, who, he says, acquired such wisdom and was so glorious to all, for like the daybreak rising in the morning, he illuminated all with the brightness of wisdom, but lost such glory for a small grace. Therefore, it is terrible to indulge in laziness; but we must pray unceasingly, lest some other thought, having found it, separate us from God, and in its place put something else in our mind. Only a pure heart, having become the receptacle of the Holy Spirit, clearly sees within itself, as in a mirror, the very God of all.

            19) Hearing this, says the brother who lived with Abba Philemon, and looking at his deeds, I understood that the passions of the flesh had completely ceased to operate in him, and that he was a diligent lover of every perfection, so that he always saw himself transformed by the divine Spirit and from glory to glory to glory. one who understands and weighs himself (or keeps himself even, as on scales) and works in every way so that nothing that comes may offend the purity of his mind and some bad thing may not secretly strike him. Seeing this, he says, and being aroused by jealousy for such a way of life, I diligently addressed him with a request, saying: How could I acquire purity of mind like you? He said: Go – work, because for this work and illness of the heart are needed. Spiritual goods, worthy of diligent search and labor, will not come to us if we lie on our beds and sleep. And earthly goods do not come to anyone easily. For whoever wants to succeed, it is necessary first of all to abandon his desires and acquire incessant weeping and unhappiness, not to listen to the sins of others, and only his own, and about them alone to weep day and night, and not to have vain friendship with any of the people: for the soul, struck by the memory of past sins, is dead to the world, as the world dies to it, that is, then the passions of the flesh are inactive and the person (unaffected) by these passions. Moreover, he who has renounced the world and united with Christ, and in silence he who loves God, preserves His image and is enriched with His likeness; for he receives from above the alms of the Spirit and is the house of God, and not of demons, and presents righteous deeds to God.

            But in the beginning of renunciation, no weeping, no spiritual tears, no memory of endless torments, no true silence, no unceasing prayer, no psalm singing and instruction in the divine Scriptures, in whom this has not become a habit, so that, through continuity, it is through incessantly from the mind, and the fear of God does not reign in his soul: he still rests on communion with the world and cannot have a mind pure in prayer; for only piety and the fear of God cleanse the soul from passions and, making the mind free, introduce it into its natural contemplation, and allow it to touch theology, which it perceives in the form of beatitude (  blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God  ) – this is for those who will please, still (the spiritual order) unshakable.

            Therefore, with all our strength, we care for practical action (of virtues and exploits), by which we are reduced to piety, which is imaginary purity, the fruit of which is theological contemplation, natural (of the mind). For action is an ascent to contemplation, as (says) the penetrating and theological reason (Gregory the Theologian). Why, if we hate what we do, we will be strangers to all wisdom; for even if someone has reached the very height of virtue, all the labors of asceticism are necessary for him, which curb the idle desires of the body, and the strict control of thoughts. And in this way we can hardly acquire the indwelling of Christ. For the more our righteousness increases, the more spiritual maturity increases; and finally, the mind, having come to perfection, completely clings to God, and is illuminated by divine light, – and the ineffable mysteries are revealed to it. Then he truly knows where wisdom, where strength, where the mind for the knowledge of all things is, where longevity and life, where the light of the eyes and the world are. For as long as he is occupied with the struggle against passions, he has no opportunity to enjoy them; so virtues and vices blind the mind; the former so that he does not see virtues, and the latter so that he does not see vices. But when he has received peace from abuse, and has mastered spiritual gifts, then, constantly acting with grace, he becomes all-seeing and cannot be turned away from contemplating spiritual things. Such a one is not attached to anything earthly, but has come from death into the womb.

            He who will accept a worthy imitation of life and is zealous to draw near to God, must have a pure heart and pure lips, so that the word, proceeding from pure lips, may worthily praise God, for the soul that has clung to God, is in constant conversation with Him. Let us therefore, brethren, desire to attain such a height of virtues and cease to crawl on the earth, clinging to passions. He who has striven and attained closeness to God, has partaken of His holy light and is struck with love for Him, delights in the Lord’s certain and incomprehensible spiritual joy, as the divine psalm says:  Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give your heart forgiveness: and He will bring forth your righteousness as the light . And what love is so strong and unbridled as that which flows from God into the soul that has been cleansed from all evil? Such a soul, from the true disposition of the heart, says:  I am struck with love  . Ineffable and ineffable splendors of divine beauty! Words cannot describe them, nor can the ear contain them! Whether you point to the brilliance of the day, or the brightness of the moon, or the light of the sun – all this is disrespectful in comparison with that glory, and more insignificant in the face of the true light than deep night or gloomy mist before clear noon. Thus Basil, the wonderful among teachers, has conveyed to us, having learned this from experience and having learned this.

            20. This and more was related by the brother who lived with Abba. But who will not be astonished at the following in him, as a proof of his great humility? Having been ordained a priest long ago, and having so sincerely touched the heavenly both with his life and mind, he avoided the divine sacraments in every way as a burden, so that during the many years of his asceticism he very rarely consented to approach the holy table (for the sacrament). But he did not partake of the divine Mysteries, to partake of them, despite such a constantly dangerous life, when he happened to enter into communication and talk with people, although at the same time he did not say anything earthly to them, but only something useful for those who sought conversations with him. And when he intended to partake of the divine Mysteries, he would first bother God for a long time, appeasing Him with prayers, psalms and confessions. He was terrified by the voice of the priest, who at the same time pronounces:  holy to the saints  . For at this time, he said, the whole church is filled with holy angels, and the King of hosts himself, having secretly performed the sacrament, and having transformed bread and wine into His body and blood, through the Holy Communion dwells in our hearts. Why, he added, it is only for us to dare to partake of the holy communion of the most pure Mysteries of Christ without reservation and purity, and as if being outside the body, without any doubt or hesitation, in order to become partakers of the enlightenment that came from them. Many of the holy fathers saw holy angels who warned them (from everything that was not like): – why they themselves behaved in deep silence, not speaking to anyone.

            21) And here is what else (the brother) said, that when the elder himself had a need to sell his handicrafts, so that there would be no lie, or divination, or unnecessary words, or any other kind of sin, in order to talk and bargain, he stood pretending to be a fool; and everyone who wanted to buy his handicrafts took it from him and gave it for what he wanted. He worked small baskets; and what was given for them he accepted with gratitude, without saying a word, this wise and wise man.

SUMMARY OF DOMESTIC LESSONS.

            Finally, we offer a summary of the parenting lessons taught in this book.

            Here is what the Fathers have shown us as the method of prayer and the conditions for success in it:

      Part  , that is, the repeated repetition of the Jesus Prayer.

      Attention  , or immersing the mind in Jesus Christ with the banishment of other thoughts.

      The change  of prayer words, that is, the pronunciation of the Jesus Prayer is sometimes complete, sometimes abbreviated.

      Temporality  , that is, there should be prayer, then reading of psalms, then sitting, then standing with outstretched hands, then again the Jesus Prayer and the afternoon reading of the Fathers.

      Walking before God  , that is, to always feel God’s presence and to remember God in every action.

      Rejection of the world  , at the mention of death and the pleasure of prayer.

      The unceasing invocation of the name of Jesus Christ  in every situation and time, if alone, then aloud, but in front of people only with the mind.

      Falling asleep  on the bed with the Jesus Prayer.

      External prayer  about internal prayer.

            Therefore, the soul that desires to acquire interior prayer and thirsts for continuous union and the sweetest communion with Jesus Christ, come, decide and follow the instructions of the holy fathers in this way:

            1) Sit or, better yet, stand in a dark and silent corner in a prayerful position.

            2) Before starting, make a few bows and do not relax your limbs.

            3) Find with your imagination the place of the heart under the left nipple and focus your attention there.

            4) Bring your mind from your head to your heart and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” quietly, with your mouth, or with your mind alone, as is convenient for you, speak slowly with reverent fear.

            5) Try to remain attentive during this time as much as possible and do not take into account any thoughts, neither bad nor good.

            6) Have calm patience, having stood for a long time with forgetting everything.

            7) Maintain moderate moderation and bow according to your strength.

            8) Keep quiet.

            9) After dinner, read a little of the Gospel and those fathers who reflect on inner work and prayer.

            10) Sleep for 5 or 6 hours a day.

            11) Sometimes, with external prayer, you ask for the action of an internal one.

            12) Don’t touch handicrafts that scatter.

            13) Most often, trust your experiences with parental guidance.

            ”  Lord! give strength to my goodness  ,” once exclaimed St. Prophet David. Cry out, my soul: Lord, give firm determination to my attachment to attention! For from You there is both what to will and what to do; may with Your help and assistance, having purified my mind and heart with the help of attention, I prepare them for the abode of You, the Triune One!

A traveler’s story on the fifth date.

            A year had passed since the last meeting with the traveler, when, at last, a soft knock on the door, and a prayerful voice announced the arrival of this blessed brother, to the heartfelt delight that greeted him.

            – Come, beloved brother! Let us thank the Lord together, who blessed your journey and your return!

            – Glory and thanksgiving to the Almighty Father of bounty for everything that He does not approve in His sight, – always useful for us, travelers and strangers in a “  foreign land  ”! Here I, a sinner, having parted from you last year, again, by God’s mercy, will be pleased to see and hear your friendly greeting. And, of course, you expect from me a detailed story about the holy city of God – Jerusalem, where my soul was drawn and my unquestionable intention stretched; but what we want is not always fulfilled. This happened to me too, and it is not surprising, because should I, a poor sinner, be deserving of stepping on that hallowed ground, on which the divine feet of the Lord Jesus Christ were imprinted?

            You, father, remember that I set out from here last year with a friend, a deaf old man, carrying a letter from an Irkutsk merchant to his son in Odessa, to send me to Jerusalem. Thus we safely reached Odessa in a short time. My friend immediately hired a place on a ship to Constantinople and set off, while I, staying behind, went to look for the letter from the Irkutsk merchant’s son. Having soon found his apartment, I, to my great surprise and regret, did not find my benefactor alive: three weeks had already passed since he died after a short illness and was buried. Although this greatly saddened me, I trusted in the will of God. All the family were in trouble, the widow of the deceased, left with three small children, was so sad that she cried incessantly, fell down several times a day and was tormented; it seemed that she too would not have long to live from such deep sorrow. However, she received me kindly; not having the opportunity, due to their circumstances, to send me to Jerusalem, she left me to stay with her for about two weeks, until the father of the deceased, as promised, would come here to Odessa to manage, account for, and arrange the commercial affairs of the orphaned family. And so I stayed.

            I lived for a week, a month, and another: but instead of coming, the merchant sent a letter in which he informed me that due to his circumstances he could not come to them, but advised me to settle the accounts with the clerks and for them all to immediately go to him in Irkutsk. The meetings and the trouble began, and when I noticed that they were no longer interested in me, I thanked them for their wonderful reception and said goodbye to them, and went off to travel around Russia again…

            I thought and thought: where should I go now? And, finally, I settled on the idea that first of all I would go to Kyiv, where I hadn’t been for many years. So I went…

            Of course, although at first I was saddened that my desire to be in Jerusalem was not fulfilled, it was not without God’s providence, I reasoned, and I was comforted by the hope that the loving Lord would accept both the intention and the deed, and would not leave my poor path without a name.

            It turned out that way, because I met such people who revealed to me many things unknown to me, and enlightened my dark soul to salvation… If I had not been directed on this path by necessity, I would not have met these spiritual benefactors of mine.

            So, during the day I walked with prayer, and in the evening, stopping for the night, I read my “Benevolence” to strengthen and excite my soul in the fight against the invisible enemies of salvation.

            Finally, having departed from Odessa 70 versts, I encountered a wonderful event: a large convoy of goods was traveling – a convoy of 30, and I caught up with them. One leading coachman, like a guide, walked with his horse, and the others, gathered in a heap, walked at a distance. We had to pass by a flowing pond, in which the broken spring ice was spinning and dissolving with water in a circle with a terrible noise. Suddenly, the leading young coachman stopped his horse, and the entire convoy had to stop after him. All the coachmen ran up to him and saw that he began to undress. They asked him why he was undressing. And they received the answer that he really wanted to swim in the pond. The surprised drivers – some started laughing at him, some scolding him, calling him crazy, and the older, the driver’s brother, who was undressing, started to hinder him and push him to drive. He defended himself and did not want to obey. Some of the young drivers, as a joke, began to use buckets from which they water horses, to scoop water from the pond and splash it on the one who wanted to bathe – some on his head, some by the collar, saying: “Here we are buying you off”. As soon as the water touched his body, he shouted: “Ah, how good!” and sat down on the ground, they splashed him more; then soon he lay down and died peacefully. Everyone was scared, not understanding why this had happened. The older ones were concerned and said that it was necessary to announce this to the court, while others concluded that such a death was written for him in his family.

            Having stood near them for an hour, I went on. Having gone five versts, I saw a village on a large road and, entering it, I met the priest’s grandfather walking along the street. I wanted to tell him about the visible event and hear him about this reasoning. The priest took me to his place, and, having told him what I had seen, I asked him to explain to me the reason why this event had happened…

            – I can’t tell you anything about this, dear brother, except that there are many wonderful and incomprehensible things in nature. This, I think, was arranged by God in order to show man more clearly the rule and providence of God over nature in unnatural and immediate changes of its laws in certain cases… I myself once had to witness a similar event: not far from our village there is a very deep, steep ravine, although not large; it is even scary to look at its dark bottom. A kind of bridge has been built across it for pedestrians. A peasant from my parish, a family man and of good behavior, suddenly felt an irresistible desire to throw himself from that bridge into that deep ditch. For a whole week he struggled with this thought and desire; finally, unable to withstand this strong impulse any longer, he got up in the morning, hurriedly went and jumped into the ditch. Soon, having heard a groan, they carried him out of the ditch with broken legs. When asked about the reason for his fall, he replied that although he now felt severe pain, he was calm in his soul, that he had fulfilled his irresistible urge, which had excited him so much all week that he was ready to give his life just to fulfill his desire. For more than a year he was treated in the city hospital; I visited him and often, seeing the doctors near him, I would like, just like you, to hear from them about the cause of this case. The doctors unanimously answered me that it was a “rage”… When I asked science to explain to me what it is and as a result of which it overtakes a person, I heard nothing more from them than that it is a mystery of nature, not yet discovered by science… And I, for my part, noticed to them that if, with this mystery of nature, a person were to turn to people, your irresistible “rage” would not achieve its goal. Indeed, there are many encounters in our lives that are beyond clear understanding…

            While we were thus talking, it became dark, and I remained here for the night. In the morning I sent my clerk to the estate to obtain permission to bury the deceased in the cemetery, and that the doctor, when dissecting the body, found no signs of madness, and attributed his death to a sudden stroke.

            “Look,” the priest told me, “and medicine could not determine the cause of his uncontrollable attraction to water.”

            So, after saying goodbye to the priest, I moved on.

            Having traveled for several days and being quite tired, I came to a large trading town called “Bila Tserkva”. As it was already late in the evening, I began to look for a place to spend the night. At the bazaar itself I met a man who also looked like a traveler, asking around the stalls where some commoner’s house was. Seeing me, he came up and said: “It is clear that you are also a traveler, so let’s go together and find a local burgher by the name of Evreinov; he is a good Christian, keeps a rich inn and likes to receive travelers; here is a note about him” … I happily agreed, and we soon found him. Although we did not find the owner of the house himself, his wife, a kind grandmother, received us kindly and took us to a special room in the attic for our comfort. Having settled down, we rested a little; the owner came and invited us to have dinner with him. Over dinner we talked about who, where and how word got to why he was called Yevreinov. – “I will tell you a wonderful incident about this,” he answered and began his story. “You see, my father was a Jew, a native of the city of Shklov and was a hater of Christians. From his earliest years he was preparing to be a rabbi and diligently studied all Jewish gossip to refute Christianity. One day he happened to pass through a Christian cemetery; teeth), must have been pulled out of a recently dug grave. fell asleep, suddenly a man unknown to him stood before him and offensively reproached him, saying: “How dare you mock the mortal remains of my bones? I am a Christian, and you are an enemy of Christ!” This vision repeated itself several times a night and deprived him of sleep and peace. Prayers and incantations were recited over him, but the vision not only did not leave him, but it was repeated even more often and more offensively. He did not want this, but he made the following response: “I would be glad to do whatever you want to do to get rid of this painful and unbearable vision.” The request was signed, the vision stopped and never bothered him again. He went to live in this place, married my mother here, a good Christian, and led a pious life in abundance;

            With reverence and emotion I listened to this story, and thought to myself: My God! How merciful our Lord Jesus Christ is and how great His love! In what various ways He attracts sinners to Himself and how wisely He turns insignificant incidents into a guide to great deeds! Who could have foreseen that the Jew’s antics over a dead bone would serve him to the true knowledge of Jesus Christ and would be a guide to a godly life.

            After dinner, having thanked God and the host, we went to our room to rest. I didn’t feel like sleeping yet, and my friend and I talked. He announced to me that he was a merchant from Mogilev, had lived for two years in Bessarabia as a novice in one of the monasteries there, but only with an urgent passport, and was now going to his homeland to receive eternal release from the merchant society to become a monk. He praised the monasteries there, their statutes and rules, and the strict life of many pious elders who live there, and assured me that the Bessarabian monasteries were as superior to the Russians as heaven is to earth. He also invited me there. At this time, when we were engaged in these conversations, a third lodger was brought to us, he was a non-commissioned officer, released from the army for a while, and was going on home leave. We saw that he was very tired from the journey. Having prayed together to God, we went to bed. Having risen early in the morning, we began to prepare for the journey. And just as we were about to go to thank the owner, we suddenly heard the good news of the morning. The merchant and I began to think: how can we go, having heard the good news and not having visited God’s church? It would be better to stand matins, having prayed in the holy temple, and then it would be more pleasant for us to go. So we decided, and called the sergeant with us. And he said to us: “What is the harm on the journey, and what profit to God that we visit church? Here we will come home, so we will pray there! Go when you want, but I will not go. At this time, while you are standing at matins, I will go five versts ahead, and if you want to take me home:” think in advance how God will lead!

            So, we went to church, and the non-commissioned officer set off. Having defended the morning prayer (there was also an early one), we returned to our light and began to pack our bags. We look: the hostess has brought us a samovar, and says: “Where are you going? Here, drink a cup of tea, and have dinner with us; will we let you go hungry?” Not even half an hour has passed since we sat at the samovar, when suddenly our non-commissioned officer runs up to us, panting.

            – I came to you with bitterness and joy.

            “What is it?” we asked him.

            – And here’s what happened! When I said goodbye to you and left, I wanted to go to the inn to exchange the bill for small bills and drink some vodka to make it easier to walk. When I went in, I changed the money and flew away like a falcon. Having walked three versts, I wanted to count the money, to see if the innkeeper had given it to me. I sat down to the side, took out my wallet, read it over and that was it. Suddenly I grabbed my passport, which was lying right there, and it was nowhere to be found; only notes and money. I was so scared that I lost my head. And then I realized: of course, I had saved it when I was paying at the inn. I had to run back. I ran, I ran, and again grief took hold: how could he not be there! I would be in trouble! When I came running, I asked the innkeeper, and he said: “I didn’t see it.” I was overcome with sadness again. I have to search, and wander around the places where I stood, and I was jostled. And what? Luckily for me, I found my passport, as it was rolled up, lying among the straw and garbage on the floor, all trampled in the dirt. Thank God! I was overjoyed; it was as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders! Although they take me away with dirt on my teeth for being untidy and dirty, it’s nothing, at least I’ll come home and back with my eyes. And I came to you to tell you about this, and besides, running in fear, I rubbed my leg so much, to raw flesh, that it was impossible to walk, and for this I asked for fat to bind to the wound.

            – So it is, brother! This is for you because you disobeyed and did not go to pray with us – the merchant began to say. – You wanted to go far ahead of us, but you turned back towards us, and even limped. I told you not to think ahead, and that’s how it turned out! Not only did you not go to church, but you also said these words: “What good is it to God that we pray?” This, brother, is not good… Of course, God does not need our sinful prayer, but, out of His love for us, He loves it when we pray. And not only is sacred prayer, which the Holy Spirit Himself helps to bring and arouses in us, pleasing to Him, because He demands this of us, commanding: “Abide in Me and I in you”, but even every seemingly small deed done for Him, every intention for salvation, our motivation, is valuable before Him. For all this, the boundless mercy of God generously rewards us. God’s love gives in benefits a thousand times more than any worthy human deed; if you do a small contribution for God, He will give you in gold. If you are just going to go to the Father, He is already coming out to meet you. You will say with a short and dry word: “Accept me! Have mercy on me!” And He is already hugging your neck and lobbying you. This is how unworthy the love of the Heavenly Father for us is! And because of this love alone, He rejoices in each and every smallest saving movement of ours. It seems to you: what glory from that Lord and what benefit for you if you pray a little, and then have fun again, or even do some unimportant good deed, for example, read a prayer, make five or ten bows; you will sigh from the heart and call upon the name of Jesus Christ, or you will notice some good thought, or you will settle down to read something salutary, or you will abstain from food, or you will endure a small offense in silence… All this seems to you insufficient for your perfect salvation and as if fruitless. No! each of these small deeds does not disappear into the abyss, will be calculated by the all-seeing Eye of God and will receive a hundredfold reward not only in eternity, but also in this life. This is also affirmed by St. John Chrysostom. “No good deed,” he says, no matter how insignificant it may be, will be despised by the righteous Judge. If sins are investigated with such detail that we will give an answer for words, for desires and for thoughts, then the best possible deeds, no matter how small they may be, will be calculated with special detail and in.”

            I will present you with an example that I myself saw last year. In the Bessarabian monastery where I lived, there was an elder monk of a good life. One day he was tempted, he really wanted dried fish. And since it was impossible to get it in the monastery at that time, he intended to go to the market and buy it… He struggled with this thought for a long time and reasoned that a monk should be content with a common fraternal meal and distance himself in every way from sensuality, and even walk around the market among a crowd of people like a monk. Finally, the enemy’s slander prevailed over his reasoning, and he, resorting to self-will, dared and went after the fish. Leaving the monastery and walking along the city street, he noticed that he had no rosary in his hands, and began to think: “How can I go like a warrior without a sword? It is indecent, and even worldly people, when they meet, will judge me and be tempted, seeing a monk without a rosary.” He wanted to turn around to take them, but, looking in his pockets, he found them here. He took them out, crossed himself, put on his arm and walked calmly. As he approached the market, he saw a horse standing near the benches with a large cart of huge barrels. Suddenly this horse, frightened by something, rushed to run away with all his strength and beat with its hooves; it jumped at him and, catching him by the shoulder, threw him to the ground, although it did not hurt him much. After this, two steps away from him, this cart overturned and the cart was scattered to pieces. As soon as he got up, he was naturally frightened, but at the same time he was amazed at how God had preserved his life, for if the cart had fallen one tiny second earlier, he too would have been shattered to pieces, just like the cart. Without thinking about it any further, he bought fish, returned, ate, and, praying, went to sleep… In a subtle dream, a certain noble elder unknown to him appeared before him and said: “Listen, I am the patron of this monastery and I want to admonish you so that you understand and remember the lesson, so the struggle with sensual pleasure and laziness to exercise in self-understanding and self-devotion gave the enemy the opportunity to approach you and he had prepared for you this fatal case that exploded before your eyes. If you had responded to the suggestion, obeyed and expressed it in reality, then this is what saved you from death. Having said this, the elder who had appeared hastily left the cell, and the monk bowed at his feet and with that woke up, feeling himself no longer on a bed, but lying prostrate at the threshold of the door. He immediately told this vision for the spiritual benefit of many, including me.

            Truly, God’s love for us sinners is boundless! Isn’t it amazing that for such a small deed, for taking a rosary out of his pocket and putting it on his hand and calling upon the name of God once, for this little thing a person was given life! And on the scales of human destiny, one short minute of calling upon Jesus Christ outweighed many hours spent in laziness… Truly, a small piece of gold was given here for a small price… Do you see, brother, how powerful prayer is, and how powerful the name of Jesus Christ that we call upon! St. John of Carpathia in the book “Charity” says that when we call upon the name of Jesus in the Jesus Prayer and say: “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” then the secret voice of God answers each such request: “Child, your sins are forgiven you,” prayer, then we are in no way different from the saints, reverends and martyrs, because, as St. Chrysostom says, “prayer, even if uttered by us, full of sins, immediately cleanses” (v. 2). Great is God’s mercy to us, and we, sinful and careless, do not want to give him even a small hour in thanksgiving and exchange the time of prayer, which is the most important, for life’s worries and concerns, forgetting God and our duty! For this reason, we are often exposed to troubles and misfortunes, but even this is determined by the loving providence of God for our understanding and for turning to God.”

            When the merchant finished his conversation with the lieutenant, I said to him: “Well, my dear, as you have delighted my sinful soul, so I bow at your feet.” Hearing this, he began to talk to me. “And you seem to be a hunter of spiritual stories? Wait, I will now read you something similar to what I told you. Here is a travel book with me, called “Agapius” or “Sinful Salvation.” It contains many wonderful events.”

            He took a book out of his pocket and began to read a wonderful story about a certain pious Agathonikos, who had been taught by his pious parents from childhood to recite the prayer “O Virgin Mary, rejoice” and so on before the icon of the Mother of God every day. He did this every day. Then, having reached full age, he began to live by himself and, overwhelmed by the cares and worries of life, rarely recited the said prayer, and finally abandoned it altogether. One evening he took in a traveler who announced to him that he was a hermit from Thebaid and had seen a vision, in order to go to Agathonikos and reproach him for abandoning the prayer of the Mother of God. Agathonikos imagined the reason for his abandonment was that he had recited this prayer for many years and had not seen any benefit. Then the hermit said to him: “Remember, blind and ungrateful, how many times has this prayer helped you and delivered you from misfortunes? Did you fall from the cart with your friend? He broke his leg, and you suffered nothing. And after reminding Agathonika of many other things, he finally said: “Know that all such cases are averted from you by the intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos for the short prayer with which you daily stirred your soul to union with God… See, continue in the future and do not leave her. abandoned by Her.

            After this reading, we were called to dinner, and after refreshing ourselves and thanking our host, we set off and each went our separate ways, wherever we needed to go.

            After that, I walked for five days, enjoying the memory of the stories I had heard from the pious merchant from the White Church; then I began to approach Kyiv, when suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt a certain burden, relaxation, and gloomy thoughts; prayer was difficult, and a kind of lethargy came over me. So, to rest, having seen a forest and dense bushes on the side of the road, I went there to sit down somewhere behind a secluded bush and read “Dobrotolyubstvo” to strengthen my weakened soul and calm my cowardice. Having found a silent town, I began to read St. Cassian the Roman, in the 4th part of “Dobrotolyubstvo” about eight thoughts. After reading for half an hour with joy, I suddenly saw a man standing motionless on his knees, 50 fathoms away from me, in the depths of the forest. I was glad of this, thinking that, of course, he was praying to God, and I began to read again. After reading for an hour or more, I looked at this man again, and he was still standing motionless on his knees. It was very touching to me and I thought, – this is what pious servants of God are like. – While I was thinking about this, this man suddenly fell to the ground and lay still. This surprised me, and since I could not see his face, because he was standing on his knees with his back to me, I was curious to go and see what kind of man he was. When I approached, I found him in a light sleep. He was a village boy of about 25, clean-faced and noble, but pale, in a peasant’s caftan, girded with a washcloth, and he had nothing else with him – no purse, not even a stick. Hearing the rustle of my arrival, he woke up and got up. I asked him who he was. He told me that he was a state peasant of the Smolensk province, coming from Kyiv.

            “Where are you traveling now?” I asked.

            “I don’t know,” he replied, “where God is.”

            will bring.”

            – How long have you been away from home?

            – Yes, fifth year.

            – Where were you living at that time?

            – I went to various holy places, monasteries, and churches, because there is nothing to live on at home: I am a rootless orphan, and besides, I have a lame leg, so I wander around the world!

            “It seems that some godly person taught you to walk not just in the world, but in holy places,” I told him.

            “You see,” he replied: since childhood, when I was an orphan, I have been a shepherd in our village, and for about 10 years everything was going well. Finally, one day, when I drove the flock home, I did not guess that the elder did not have the best sheep. And our elder was an evil and inhuman man. When he came home in the evening and saw that his sheep was gone, he ran to me, began to scold me and threaten me to go and find his sheep, and then he promised: “I will beat you to death, I will break your arms and legs.” Knowing that he was so evil, I went after the sheep in the places where the herd grazed during the day. I searched, searched, searched further north, but there was no trace of it anywhere. The night was so dark, because it was autumn. As I entered the depths of the forest, and the forests in our province are impassable, suddenly a storm arose. It was as if all the trees were swaying! Wolves howled in the distance, and I was seized with such fear that my hair stood on end; the further I went, the worse it became and I almost fell from fear and terror. So I fell on my knees, crossed myself, and with all my might said: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” As soon as I said this, I suddenly felt light, as if there had been no sorrow, and all my timidity had passed, and I felt so good in my heart, as if I had flown to heaven… I was glad of this, and I kept saying this prayer. And I no longer remember how long the storm lasted, and how the night passed, and I look – broad daylight has already come, and I am standing in one place on my knees. So I got up calmly, seeing that I couldn’t find a sheep, so I went home, but everything was fine in my heart and I really wanted to say a prayer. As soon as I arrived in the village, the headman, seeing that I hadn’t brought a sheep, beat me to death; and then he dislocated my leg. So after these beatings I lay almost motionless for six weeks, only knowing that I was saying a prayer, and it comforted me. Then I recovered a little, and began to walk around the world; and when I found it boring and a lot of sin to constantly jostle among the people, I went to wander through holy places and forests. And so I have been walking for five years now.

            Hearing this, I rejoiced in my soul that the Lord had granted me to see such a gracious person, and I asked her: “So you often engage in that prayer now?”

            “But it can’t be without it,” he replied, whenever I remember how good it felt in the forest, as if someone would push me to my knees and I would pray… I don’t know if my sinful prayer is right, because when I pray, I sometimes feel great joy, and I don’t know why, lightness, light sadness; but at the same time I always want to pray until I die.

            – Do not be confused, dear brother: everything is pleasing to God and everything is salutary, whatever happens during prayer, say the Holy Fathers, whether light or heavy – everything is good; no prayer, whether good or bad, is lost before God. Lightness, warmth and pleasure show that God rewards and consoles for this feat, and the burden, gloom, dryness mean that God purifies and strengthens the soul and saves it with this useful patience, preparing it with humility for the enjoyment of future grace-filled pleasure. Here, as proof of this, I will read to you from St. John the Ladder.

            I found this article here and read it to him. He listened with attention and pleasure and thanked me very much for it. So we said goodbye. He went completely into the depths of the forest, and I, having come out onto the road, continued my journey, thanking God for deserving me, a sinner, to receive such instruction.

            The next day, with God’s help, I arrived in Kyiv. My first and foremost desire was to talk, confess, and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ in this blessed place, and therefore I stayed closer to God’s saints, so that it would be more convenient to go to the temple of God. A kind old Cossack took me into his hut, and since he lived alone, I felt calm and silent with him. During the week that I was preparing for confession, it occurred to me to confess in as much detail as possible. And from my youth I began to remember and go over all my sins in the most detail, so as not to forget all this; I began to write down everything I remembered, down to the smallest detail, and I wrote a long letter. I heard that 7 versts from Kiev in the Kitaeva Desert there is a confessor of ascetic life and he is very wise and prudent – whoever does not visit him in spirit, comes to his senses with emotion and returns with saving guidance and lightness of soul. This greatly comforted me and I immediately went to him. After consulting and talking, I gave him my letter for consideration. After reading this, he said to me: “You, dear friend, have written a lot of empty things. Listen: 1) one should not pronounce in confession those sins in which you have previously repented and been absolved and have not repeated them, otherwise this will be a lack of faith in the power of the sacrament of confession; 3) St. The Fathers forbid pronouncing sins with all their details, but confessing them in general, so as not to arouse temptations in oneself and in the confessor by private analysis; you have reread everything, and most importantly, you have omitted from view – you have not declared the most serious sins, you have not realized and written down that  you do not love God, hate your neighbor, do not believe the word of God and are full of pride and ambition.  In all sins, the entire abyss of evil is contained and on everything. all the outgrowths of our sinfulness occur.

            Hearing this, I was surprised, and began to say: “Have mercy, venerable father, how can one not love God, our Creator and Patron! I have nothing praiseworthy.

            – It is a pity, my dear, that you did not understand much of what I explained to you. To teach you more quickly, here I will give you a list, according to which I myself always confess. Read it and you will clearly see the exact proofs of what I have just told you.

            The priest handed me a list, and I began to read it.

A confession of the inner man that leads to humility.

            “By carefully turning my gaze upon myself and observing the course of my inner state, I have experienced that I do not love God, have no love for my neighbor, do not believe in anything religious, and am full of pride and sensuality. All this I truly find in myself through a careful examination of my feelings and actions,

            1)  I do not love God.  For if I loved Him, I would constantly think about Him with heartfelt pleasure; every thought about God would bring me comforting pleasure. On the contrary, I think much more often and much more willingly about the things of life, and the thought of God is work and dryness for me. If I loved Him, then conversation with Him through prayer would nourish me, delight me and draw me to continuous communication with Him; but, on the contrary, I not only do not enjoy prayer, but even when engaged in it I feel work, struggle with reluctance, relax with laziness and am ready to hunt for something unimportant, just to shorten or stop praying. In empty pursuits my time flies by imperceptibly, but when I am occupied with God, when I place myself in His presence, every hour seems to me like a year. Whoever loves someone thinks about him all day long, imagines him, cares for him, and in all his occupations his beloved friend does not leave his thoughts; but I hardly set aside even one hour during the day to immerse myself deeply in reflections on God and ignite myself in His love, and for twenty-three hours I willingly offer zealous sacrifices to my passionate idols! I am dry, sad and lazy. And if I involuntarily get carried away by others in a divine conversation, then I try to quickly move on to a conversation that flatters my passions. I am tirelessly interested in the news, in civil decrees, in political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my curiosity in worldly sciences, in arts, in acquisitions, but instruction in the Law of the Lord, knowledge of God, and religion does not impress me, does not nourish my soul, and I consider it not only an unessential occupation for a Christian, but as if extraneous and only extraneous time, in my leisure time. In short, if love for God is known by the fulfillment of His commandments: “If you love Me, keep My commandments,” says the Lord Jesus Christ, and I not only do not keep His commandments, but even make little effort to do so, then according to the purest truth it should be asserted that I do not love God… This “The proof that a man does not love God and His Christ is that he does not keep His commandments” (Nor. 3).

            2)  I have no love for my neighbor.  For not only can I not dare to lay down my soul for the good of my neighbor (according to the Gospel), but I will not even sacrifice my honor, good and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I loved him according to the Gospel commandment, as myself, then his misfortune would also amaze me, his well-being would also cause me admiration. And, on the contrary, I listen more interestingly to the unfortunate stories about my neighbor, I do not grieve, but am indifferent or, what is even more criminal, I find pleasure in him and I do not cover the bad deeds of my brother with love, but I disclose them with condemnation. His well-being, honor and happiness do not captivate me as my own, and at all, like everything else, do not cause me a joyful feeling, but even subtly arouse in me a kind of envy or contempt.

            3)  I do not believe in anything religious.  Neither in immortality nor in the gospel. If I were firmly convinced and believed without a doubt that there is eternal life beyond the grave with retribution for earthly deeds, then I would constantly think about it; the very thought of immortality would terrify me, and I would see off this life like a stranger preparing to enter his homeland. On the contrary, I do not think about eternity and consider the end of real life as the limit of my existence. A secret thought nests in me: who knows what will happen after death? If I say that I believe in immortality, then I say this only from the mind, and my heart is far from a firm conviction in it, as my actions and constant concern for the improvement of sensual life openly testify. If the Holy Gospel, as the word of God, were received with faith into my heart, I would constantly engage in it, study it, enjoy it, and even look at it with deep reverence. The wisdom, goodness, and love hidden in it would arouse my admiration, I would delight in the instruction in the Law of God day and night, I would feed on it as on daily food, and I would be heartily drawn to the fulfillment of its precepts. Nothing earthly would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if I occasionally read or listen to the word of God, then either out of need or curiosity, and without entering into deep attention, I feel dry, virgin, and, as it were, I leave ordinary reading without any fruit and am willing to replace it with more reading on worldly subjects.

            4)  I am full of pride and sensual selfishness.  All my actions confirm this: seeing good in myself, I want to put it on display, or I magnify it before others, or I admire myself inwardly; although I show external humility, I attribute everything to my own strength and consider myself better than others or, at least, no worse; if I notice a vice in myself, I try to excuse it, cover it with a mask of necessity or innocence; I get angry with those who do not respect me, considering them unable to appreciate people; I boast about my gifts, consider failures in enterprises offensive to myself, I complain and rejoice in the misfortune of my enemies; if I strive for something good, then my goal is either praise, or self-interest, spiritual, or worldly comfort. In short, I am constantly creating my own idol, to whom I render continuous service, seeking in everything sensual pleasures and food for my voluptuous passions and desires.

            From this I see myself as proud, lustful, unbelieving, unloving of God and hating my neighbor. What state could be more sinful? The state of the spirits of darkness is better than my situation: although they do not love God, hate man, live and feed on pride, at least they believe, tremble with faith. And me? Can there be a poorer fate than the one that belongs to me? And for what will the judgment be more severe and punishing than for such carelessness and reckless life that I am aware of in myself!

            After reading this confession given to me by my spiritual father, I was horrified, and thought to myself: “My God, what terrible sins are hidden in me, and I have not noticed them until now!” Therefore, the desire to cleanse them made me ask for guidance from this great spiritual father, how, having learned the causes of all evils, I could find a way to correct them. So he began to explain to me.

            – Do you see, dear brother, the reason for the dislike of God is unbelief, the reason for unbelief is unconvincing, and the reason for unconvincing is the failure to seek bright true knowledge, neglect of spiritual enlightenment. In a word: without believing, one cannot love; without being convinced, one cannot believe. And in order to be convinced, it is necessary to gain full and thorough knowledge of the assumed subject; it is necessary, through reflection, the study of the word of God and experienced observations, to awaken in the soul a thirst and desire or, as others express it, “surprise”, which creates an insatiable desire to know things more closely and more perfectly, to penetrate deeper into the properties of the subject.

            One spiritual writer reflects on this this way: “Love,” he says, “usually develops through knowledge, and the greater the depth and breadth of knowledge, the greater the love, and the more comfortably the soul softens and becomes disposed to the love of the Divine, diligently contemplating the most perfect and boundless God, the God-man.”

            – Now you see that the cause of the sins you have read about is laziness to think about spiritual matters, which quenches the feeling of need itself. If you wish to learn the means to overcome this evil, then strive in every way for spiritual enlightenment, achieve it by diligent study of the word of God, the teachings of the holy fathers – by reflections and spiritual advice or conversation with the wise about Christ. Ah, dear brother, how many misfortunes we encounter because we are lazy to enlighten our souls with the word of truth, do not study the law of the Lord day and night and do not pray for it diligently and unceasingly! And from this our inner man is both hungry, cold, and exhausted, not having the strength to walk vigilantly on the path of truth to salvation. Therefore, in order to use these means, let us dare, beloved, to fill our minds as often as possible with thoughts of heavenly things, and the love that pours down from above into our hearts will develop and ignite in us. Let us also pray as often as possible, for prayer is the most important way and the most powerful means for our renewal and success. Let us pray as the Holy Church teaches: “Lord, make me deign to love You now, as I sometimes love sin itself!”

            Having listened attentively to all this, I movedly asked this holy father to confess me and to honor me with the Holy Mysteries of Christ. So, in the morning, having received communion, I wanted to return to Kiev with this gracious farewell, but this good father of mine, intending to go to the Lavra for a few days, left me for the time being in his desert cell, so that I could freely resort to prayer in this silence. And indeed, I spent all these days as if in heaven: through the prayers of my elder, I, unworthy, enjoyed perfect peace. Prayer poured out so easily and soothingly in my heart that at that time I seemed to have forgotten everything and myself, and I only thought about the one Jesus Christ!

            Finally, the confessor returned, and I asked him for advice and counsel on where I should now continue my wanderings. He blessed me thus: “Go to Pochaiv, there bow to the Miraculous Foot of the Most Pure Mother of God, and She will direct your steps onto the path of peace.” So, having accepted his advice with faith, I went to Pochaiv three days later.

            I walked 200 versts, not without boredom, because the road ran through Jewish taverns and villages, and Christian dwellings were rare. In one village I saw a Russian Christian inn and, delighted with it, went there to spend the night and ask for bread for the journey, because my crackers were already running out. Here I saw the owner – an old man, probably wealthy, and heard that he was from the Oryol province with me. When I entered the living room, his first question was: “What religion are you?”

            I replied that it was Orthodox Christian.

            – What kind of Orthodoxy do you have! – he said with a smile, “You have Orthodoxy only in speech, but in deeds you have Basurman beliefs. I know, brother, your faith! I myself was tempted and led into temptation by a learned priest, and I came to your church, so after staying for six months, I returned again. come: the deacons mumble at the service of God and everyone has passes and no understanding; and the singers in the villages are no better than in taverns; for the service of God? This is only one sin! come, you will not notice where you came: to the temple or to the market!

            Listening to this, I understood that this old man was an Old Believer; but as he said truthfully, I could not argue with him and convert him, but only thought to myself that it was impossible to convert Old Believers to the true church until our church service was corrected and a particularly spiritual order set an example for this. An Old Believer knows nothing of the inner, he relies on appearances, and among us they neglect them.

            So, I wanted to leave here and had already gone out into the hall when I suddenly saw through the open door in a special room a man who did not look Russian, lying on a bed and reading a book. He beckoned me to him and asked who I was. I told him. So he began to speak: “Listen, my dear, will you not agree to serve me, a sick person, for at least a week, until I recover with God’s help? Refuse, servant of God!

            – I do not need any payment, I will serve you with zeal, as best I can, for the sake of the name of God. That is how I stayed for him. I heard a lot from him about saving things. He talked about St. Mount Athos, about the great ascetics there and about many hermits and hermits. He had “Dobrotolyubstvo” in Greek and a book by Isaac the Syrian. Together we read and compared the Slavic translation of Paisius Velichkovsky with the original Greek, and he responded that it was impossible to translate from Greek more accurately and faithfully than Paisius translated “Dobrotolyubstvo” into Slavic. As I noticed, he prayed incessantly and was skilled in the inner prayer of the heart (and spoke purely in Russian), so I asked him about this subject. He willingly talked about it, and I listened attentively, and even wrote down many of his words. For example, he spoke about the supremacy and greatness of the Jesus Prayer this way:

            – “  The greatness of the Jesus Prayer  ,” he said, “is revealed even by its very form, which consists of two parts: in the first of them, that is,  Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God  , introduces the mind to the history of the life of Jesus Christ or, as the Holy  Fathers express it, and summarizes in itself all  the history of our weakness and sinfulness. At the same time, it is wonderful that it is impossible to express the desire and request of a poor, sinful and humble soul more wisely, more significantly and more clearly than with these words:  have mercy on me  ! “forgive iniquity!” “May the crime be blotted out!  ”  realizing his powerlessness to the refraction of the will and spiritual vigilance over himself; alms, having taken pity on his extreme poverty, this profound expression  have mercy on me  expresses, as it were: “Merciful Lord! Forgive my sins and help me correct my life, open in my soul an insatiable desire to follow Your commandments, have mercy by forgiving the sins I have committed and turning my scattered mind, will and heart to You alone.

            After that, as I marveled at his wise words and thanked him for instructing my sinful soul, he also explained a wonderful thing to me.

            “If you want,” he said, “I’ll tell you more (and he named it after a scholar, because he said he studied at the Academy of Athens)  about the intonation of the Jesus Prayer  .”

            Look here: many times I have heard how many God-fearing Christians perform the Jesus Prayer orally according to the commandment of the Word of God and the tradition of the Holy Church, and they perform it not only in home prayer, but also in the temple of God. Listening attentively and with pleasure to this quiet pronunciation of prayer, one can notice for the sake of spiritual benefit that the note of this prayerful voice is different for many, namely: some, raising the tone at the very first word of the prayer, that is, saying  Lord  , end all the other words with a lowering. Others, starting the prayer with a lower tone, raise it in the middle of the prayer, that is, at the word  Jesus  , and making an exclamation, end the other words again with a lowering of the tone as they began. Others, starting and continuing the previous prayers in a low, monotonous tone, at the last word, that is,  have mercy on me  , raise the tone with rapture. And some, reciting the entire prayer, that is,  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner  , make an elevation on just one word – Son of God. –

            Now look: the prayer is one and the same; Orthodox Christians hold the same creed; the general notion that this most important and highest of all prayers contains two objects – Lord Jesus and His mercy – is equally known to all. Why don’t everyone express it in the same intonation, that is, in pronunciation? Why is it that not in one and the same place, but in a place known to each, the soul is particularly moved and manifests itself in a particularly elevated and tense tone? Perhaps many will say to this that this happens as a result of habit, or an example taken from others, or according to a concept that corresponds to the different views of each, or, finally, it is easier and more convenient for each person to pronounce according to the state of his ability to speak… But I think about it completely differently. I would like to look for something higher here, something unknown not only to the listener, but even to the one praying himself – is there not here a secret movement of the Holy Spirit, which “worries with groanings unuttered” in the ignorant: how and for what to pray? And if everyone prays in the name of Jesus Christ with the Holy Spirit, according to the Apostle’s announcement, then the secretly acting Departed Spirit, “gives prayer to him who prays,” can at the same time give to each one, against his strength, His gracious gift: to another the reverent fear of God, to another love and other firmness. And therefore he who has received the gift reveres and glorifies the power of the Almighty and in his prayer expresses with special feeling and admiration the word “Lord”, in which he means the greatness and power of the Creator of the world. He who has received the mysterious outpouring of love in his heart is mostly delighted and overwhelmed by the delight of the exclamation “Jesus Christ,” just as some old man, without a special delight in love and sweetness, could not even hear the name “Jesus” uttered even in simple conversation. He who firmly believes in the Divinity of Jesus Christ, Consubstantial with God the Father, is inflamed and even more strengthened in faith when he pronounces the words “Son of God.” He who has received the gift of humility and is deeply aware of his own powerlessness at the words “have mercy on me,” grieves, humbles himself, and with overwhelming intensity pours out these last words of the Jesus Prayer, nourishes hope in God’s mercy, and despises his own falls. These are the reasons, I believe, for the difference in intonation when pronouncing the prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ! .. And from this remark one can understand by hearing (to the glory of God and for one’s own instruction) who will be especially imbued with Which feeling and who has which spiritual gift. To this some said to me: “Why are not all these signs of secret spiritual gifts presented together, in totality? Then not one, but every word of the prayer would be imbued with the monotonous, enthusiastic intonation of the one who prays”… I answered this in this way: “Since the grace of God divides the gifts according to the precepts of Scripture, who can test this and enter with a limited mind into the disposition of grace?

            I spent five days with this elder, and he gradually began to recover. This time was instructive for me, for I did not notice how it flew by, for in this little room, as if in a silent prison, we were resolutely occupied with nothing else but praying secretly, invoking the name of Jesus Christ, or talking about only one subject, i.e.

            Once a certain monk came to us and complained a lot, lamented and cursed the Jews, whose villages he went through and suffered from them troubles and deceptions. He was so bitter against them that he cursed them and even considered them unworthy to live on earth because of their stubbornness and unbelief and, finally, said that he had an irresistible aversion to them. Having listened, this elder of mine began to teach him:

            “In vain, my friend,” he said, “you scold and curse the Jews so; and they are the same creatures of God as we are, we should pity and pray for them, and not curse them. Believe me, your disgust for them comes from the fact that you are not established in the love of God and do not have an inner prayer, and you do not have an inner prayer. I will read to you about this in the Holy Fathers. Listen to what Mark the ascetic writes: “The soul, which has been internally united with God, from great joy is like a harmless and simple-hearted child and no longer condemns anyone, neither Greek, nor without a Jew, nor “Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew, not a Jew! the whole world desires, and all the Greeks, Jews, and pagans glorify God.” And the Egyptian Great Macarius says that internal contemplatives “are inflamed with a certain love, that if it were possible, they would instill every person into their womb, without distinguishing between evil and good.” Therefore, I advise you, putting aside anger, to look at everything as something that is under the providence of the omniscient God, and when faced with sorrows, to blame yourself mainly for the lack of patience and humility.”

            Finally, a week or so passed. The elder recovered, and I sincerely thanked him for all his good advice and said goodbye to him. He went to his place, and I went on my way.

            I was already approaching Pochaev. Before I had reached a hundred versts, a soldier caught up with me. I asked him where he was going; he told me that he was going to his homeland, to the Kamianets-Podilsky province. Having walked ten versts with him in silence, I noticed that he was sighing heavily, as if he was sad about something, and was very gloomy. I asked him: “Why are you so sad?” And he began to cling to me and say: “Good man! If you have already noticed my sorrow, then fight hard and swear that you will not tell anyone, and I will tell you everything about myself, because death is coming to me, and there is no one to consult with.”

            I assured him in a Christian way that I had no need to report anything to anyone, and out of brotherly love I decided to give him the advice I could.

            “You see,” he said, “I was conscripted into the army from the peasants of the lord’s house. After serving for five years, it became unbearable for me, and I was often beaten for misconduct and for drunkenness. I decided to run away. Now I have been on the run for fifteen years. For six years I hid and hid here and there; I stole horses, broke into shops and earned money all by myself, and sold the stolen goods to various swindlers; I met a soldier who was going home to a distant province with complete resignation. My soldier died and became all stiff. I went boldly to the distant Astrakhan province. There I became sensible and hired workers. I drank, my wife too, and in a year we lived off everything that was left after the old man. Once I couldn’t do it for a long time, so I took an old skinny horse to a beggar, and sold it for fifty cents to a live-stock dealer. And I went into the forest, to wait for midnight. Having laid down there, I fell fast asleep. My head and hands remained outside. Then this terrible cloud seemed to descend to the ground, and out of it came my old grandfather, who had been dead for about twenty years. Several piles of things that I had stolen at different times. I was even more frightened. Squeeze him!” And suddenly the earth began to squeeze and crush me so hard from all sides that I, unable to bear the pain, anguish and weakness, groaned and shouted: “Have mercy!” Squeeze him harder!” And I felt such intense pain and anguish that no torment on this earth can compare with it. Finally, this grandfather of mine brought the horse I had stolen yesterday close to me and shouted: “What is this? Squeeze him as painfully as possible!” And I was squeezed so painfully from all sides that I cannot even describe how cruel, scary and debilitating it was; as if they were pulling me out of my bones and choking me with terrible pain so that it was impossible to bear and I would have fallen unconscious if this torment had given in even a little. I was stabbed in the cheek, which it cut open. At that moment, at this blow, I woke up all terrified and, shaking like a paralytic. I could barely get up from my fright and went home. My cheek had been hurting for a long time, you see, and now there was a scar that had not been there before. more often and, finally, I began to be afraid of people and ashamed, as if everyone had recognized my former fraud. Okay. So, out of patience, I wanted to suffocate. But the thought came to me that I would not live long anyway and would soon die, because all my strength had disappeared, so I decided to go and say goodbye to my homeland and die there. Man, what should I do? After all, my patience is not enough!

            Having heard all this, I was amazed within myself and glorified the wisdom and grace of God, seeing how it converts sinners in various ways, and I began to say to him: “Any brother!

            “No way,” he told me, “he thinks that if I start praying, God will immediately ruin me.”

            – Empty, brother! The devil puts these thoughts in you. God is infinitely merciful and sympathizes with sinners and forgives those who repent soon. After all, you know the Jesus Prayer, that is, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Say it without ceasing.

            – But how could I not know this prayer! I used to go stealing, and sometimes I would recite it to be braver.

            – So look now: God did not pervert you even when, going towards iniquity, you said a prayer; But will He destroy you when you pray on the path of repentance? Now you see that your thoughts are hostile!.. Believe me, dear, if you say this prayer, regardless of what is running through your thoughts, you will soon feel joy, all your fear and burden will pass, and you will finally be completely calm, you will be a reverent person. I assure you of this, because I have seen this a lot from experience.

            At the same time, I told him several cases in which the Jesus Prayer had miraculous power over sinners. Finally, I began to persuade him to go with me to the Pochaiv Mother of God, the refuge of sinners, before leaving his homeland, to confess and receive communion there. My soldier listened to all this with attention and, as was noticeable, with joy. So he agreed to everything. We went to Pochaiv together with the condition that we would not say anything to each other, but would constantly recite the Jesus Prayer. We walked in such silence for a whole day. The next day he told me that he felt better; he was probably even calmer than before. On the third day we arrived in Pochaiv, and I again confirmed to him that neither day nor night, until he fell asleep, he would not stop praying and assured him that  the most holy name of Jesus is unbearable for enemies, will save him greatly  , and at the same time I read him a prayer from the “Dobrotolyub”, especially with  utmost care to adhere to it when we are preparing to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ  . He did so and immediately confessed and joined. Although thoughts often attacked him, they were conveniently driven away by the Jesus Prayer. On Sunday, in order to get up easier in the morning, he went to bed earlier in the evening and made the Jesus Prayer without ceasing, while I still sat in the corner and read my “Dobrotolyubstvo” with a nightlight. An hour passed and he fell asleep, and I began to pray. Suddenly, after about twenty minutes, he started up and, waking up, quickly jumped up, ran to me, covered in tears, and said with great joy: “Ah, brother, what have I seen now! How light and joyful I am! I believe that God does not torment, but has mercy on sinners. Glory to You, Lord, glory to You!”

            I, surprised and comforted by this, asked him to tell me in detail what had happened to him.

            – And here’s what happened: as soon as I fell asleep, I found myself in the same meadow where I was tortured. At first I was scared, but instead of a cloud, a bright sun rose, a wonderful light illuminated the entire meadow, and I saw red flowers and grass on it. Suddenly, my grandfather, so handsome that you can’t help but be amazed, came close to me, and so kindly and affably said to me quietly: “Go to Zhytomyr to the church of St. George the Victorious; there they will take you to the church wardens; live here until the end of your life and pray without ceasing; God will have mercy on you!” Having said this, he crossed himself over me and disappeared at the same moment. I felt such joy that it is impossible to say, as if something had fallen from me and I had flown to heaven… With that, I suddenly woke up, feeling that I was light, and my heart still didn’t know what to do with joy. What should I do now? I will go to Zhytomyr right now, as my grandfather ordered me. It will be easy for me to go with prayer!

            – Have mercy, dear brother, where are you going at midnight? At least listen to Matins, yes, pray with God. So we did not sleep, and after this conversation we went to church. He prayed diligently all morning with tears and said that he felt very light and joyful, and the Jesus Prayer was done with pleasure. Then at lunch he took communion and, after lunch, I saw him off to the Zhytomyr road, where we said goodbye with tears and joy.

            After that, I began to reflect on myself and wondered where I should go now. Finally, I decided on the idea of ​​returning to Kyiv. I was drawn to this by the wise instructions of my confessor there, and also by the fact that, having lived with him, he might not find some Christ-loving benefactors to send me to Jerusalem or at least to Mount Athos. So, after living another week in Pochaev, spending time in memory of those instructive meetings that I had seen on my way, and in writing down some instructive subjects, I got ready for the journey, put on my bag, and went to church to bow to the Mother of God in farewell and pray for lunch.

            I was standing behind the church. Then a man came out, not very richly dressed, but of noble appearance, and asked me where candles were sold. I pointed. The luncheon was over, and I stayed to pray at the feet of the Mother of God. I prayed and went on my way. Having walked a little further down the street, I saw an open window in a house, under which a gentleman was sitting and reading a book. I had to go past this window, and I saw that the man who had asked me about candles in the church was sitting there. As I passed by, I took off my hat, and he beckoned me to him and asked: “Are you a traveler, perhaps?” and calling me to him, he asked who I was and where I was going; then he offered me tea and said: “Listen, my dear! I am traveling there and, as promised, I am walking. Good.

            Hearing this invitation, I considered it, in this unexpected case, a sign to me of the Mother of God, Whom I had asked to guide me on good paths, and without thinking twice, I immediately agreed.

            So we set out on a journey the next day. We walked for three days, as we had agreed, one after the other; he was constantly reading a book, which he never let go of day or night, and sometimes he would think about something. Finally, we stopped at one place to have lunch. He was eating himself, and the book lay open in front of him, and he often looked at it. I saw that this book was the Gospel, and I said to him: “I dare you, father, to ask why you never let go of the Gospel day or night, and you always hold and carry it?”

            – For that, he replied, I almost constantly learn from one of his…

            “What are you studying?” I continued.

            – of the Christian life, which consists in prayer; I consider prayer to be the most important and most necessary means for salvation and the first duty of every Christian. Prayer constitutes both the first step and the crown of a pious life; therefore the Gospel commands us to pray unceasingly, always; as for other works of piety, there is a time appointed, but for prayer there is no idle time; without prayer nothing good can be done, and without the Gospel one cannot learn proper prayer. Therefore, all who have attained salvation through the interior life, both sacred preachers of the word of God, as well as hermits and hermits, and even all God-fearing Christians, had as their indispensable and constant occupation the instruction in the depths of the Word of God, and the reading of the Gospel constituted their essential work. Many of them constantly had the Gospel in their hands and gave the following advice to those who asked for their guidance in salvation: “Sit in a silent cell and read and reread the Gospel.”

            I really liked his reasoning and desire for prayer, and I also asked him: “From which particular gospel teaching do you draw your teaching on prayer?”

            – From all four evangelists, he answered, in a word from the entire New Testament, reading it in order. Having read this for a long time and having studied it, it was revealed to me what a gradualness and correct connection there is of  the teaching on prayer  throughout the Gospel, starting with the first Evangelist, and it goes side by side in the correct order (in the system). For example: from the very beginning the attack or introduction to the teaching on prayer is set forth, then the form or external expression in words, then the condition necessary for prayer, the means of learning it, and examples. Finally, the mysterious teaching on the internal, spiritual, unceasing prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, which is presented as higher and more beneficial than formal prayer; then its necessity, good fruits, etc. In a word, everything in detail, the complete knowledge of the prayer exercise in a systematic order or sequence is set forth in the Gospel from beginning to end.

            Hearing this, I intended to ask him to show me all this in detail, which is why I began to say to him: “Since I love most to hear and talk about prayer, I would very much like to see this secret connection of the doctrine of prayer in all its details. Show me, for the Lord’s sake, all this according to John himself.”

            He readily agreed to this and said to me: “Open your Gospel, look into it and note what I will say” (he also gave me a pencil). Please look at these notes of mine. – Here, he began to say, find first the sixth chapter of the Evangelist Matthew and read in it from the fifth verse to the ninth (Matt. VI, 5-9). Do you see here a preparation for prayer or an introduction, which teaches that not for the sake of vanity and not in noise, but in a secluded place and in peace to begin prayer and pray only for the forgiveness of sins and for reconciliation with God, and not to invent many and unnecessary requests about various life needs. Then read further this same chapter from the ninth verse to the fourteenth (Matt. VI, 9-14). Here is presented the form of prayer, that is, in what words it should be pronounced. It wisely combines everything that is necessary and necessary for our life. Then continue reading verses 14 and 15 of the same chapter and you will see the condition that must be observed in order for prayer to be effective, because without our forgiveness of those who offend us, the Lord will not forgive our sins. Having passed to the 7th chapter, you will find from the 7th to the 12th verses the means for success in prayer and approval in hope: “ask, seek, knock”; this intensified expression depicts  the frequency of prayer  and the predominant exercise in it so that prayer not only accompanies all activities, but even exceeds them in time.  This constitutes the most important attribute of prayer  … You will see an example of this in the 14th chapter of the Evangelist Mark from 32 to 40, where Jesus Christ Himself repeats the same prayer language many times. A similar example of the frequency of prayer is presented by the Evangelist Luke (Luke XI, 5-14) in the parable of the persistent request of a friend, as well as in the repeated annoying request of the widow to the judge (Luke XVIII, 1-15), depicting the commands of Jesus Christ, which should  always  , in any case. i.e. not be lazy.

            After this thorough instruction, the essential teaching of the mysterious interior prayer of the heart is further revealed in the Gospel of John, and, first, the conversation of Jesus Christ with the Samaritan woman is offered in a wise story, where the interior worship of God in spirit and truth, which God desires, and which is continuous and which is unceasing, is revealed. (John 4:5-25). Then, in chapter 15, from verse 4 to 8, the power, potency, and necessity of interior prayer, that is, the soul’s abiding in Christ, in the unceasing memory of God, is even more clearly depicted. Finally, read in chapter 16 of the same Evangelist, from verse 23 to 25. See what a mystery is revealed from this! Do you see that the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or the so-called Jesus prayer, that is  , Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me  , often and repeatedly repeated, has enormous power and more easily opens the heart and sanctifies. This can be reliably seen from the example. The apostles, who had been disciples of the Lord Jesus for more than one year and had already been taught by Him the Lord’s prayer, that is, ”  Our Father  “, and which we know from them, but at the end of His earthly life Jesus Christ revealed to them the secret of what they still lacked in prayer, so that their prayer would be resolute. He said to them: “Up to now do not ask anything in my name. If you ask anything of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.” This was so with them, for after this, when the apostles learned to offer prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, then how many wonderful miracles did they perform, and how abundantly were they enlightened themselves!… Now do you see the connection and completeness of the teaching on prayer, so wisely set forth in the Holy Gospel? If after this you proceed to read the Apostolic Epistles, then in them you will also find a consistent teaching on prayer.

            To continue the previous remarks, I will show you some places that show their belonging to prayer. Thus, in the Acts of the Apostles, the practice, that is, the diligent and constant exercise in prayer of the first Christians, enlightened by faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:31), is described; the fruits or consequences of this constant presence in prayer, that is, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and His gifts on those who pray, are told. You will see something similar in chapter 16, verses 25 and 26. Then follow the order of the Apostles’ Epistles and you will see: 1) how prayer is necessary in all situations of life (James 5:13-16); 2) how the Holy Spirit helps us to pray (Jude 1:20-21) and (Rom 5:26); 3) how we should always pray in the spirit (Eph 5:18); 4) how much peace or inner peace is needed in prayer (Phil 4:6-7); 5) how it is necessary to pray without ceasing (Thess. V, 17, and 6) finally we note that one should pray not only for oneself, but also for all (1 Tim. II, 1-5).

            Thus, by long and attentive study, one can find many more discoveries of mysterious knowledge hidden in the word of God, which escape from a rare or cursory reading of it. From what I have now indicated, you have noticed how wisely and how consistently, that is, in a secret systematic connection, the New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ reveals its teaching on this subject, which we have now traced? In what wonderful order of sequence is it arranged throughout all four evangelists? For example: in St. Matthew we see the attack or introduction to prayer, the very form, conditions, etc.; going further, in St. Mark we find examples; in St. Luke – parables, and in St. John a mysterious exercise in interior prayer, although in all the evangelists (briefly or more extensively) all this is found. In Acts the practice and results of prayer are depicted; in the Epistles of the Apostles, as in the Apocalypse itself, many accessories are inseparably linked to the matter of prayer!.. That is why I am content with only one gospel in the study of all the ways of salvation.

            All the while he was pointing out and explaining to me, I marked all the striking places in my Gospel, which is with my Bible. It all seemed very wonderful and instructive, and I thanked him very much for it.

            Then we walked for five days in silence. This companion of mine became very ill with his legs, probably from the unaccustomedness to long walks, and therefore he hired a pair of carts and took me with him. Thus we reached your borders and stopped there for three days, in order to rest and immediately set out for Anzer, where he was very much yearning.

            “This friend of yours is wonderful! He must be very learned, because of his piety; I should like to see him.”

            – we live in the same apartment; I guess I’ll bring him to you tomorrow. It’s too late now… Excuse me!

SIXTH VISION.

Brother helps brother, for
the city is strong and high; it is established
like a kingdom that is established.
(Prov. 18:19).

            – Following this word and promise yesterday, when I appeared to you, I invited with me that esteemed companion who facilitated the journey of spiritual salvation, and whom you wished to see.

            – It is very pleasant for me, and I hope for these honorable visitors of mine, to see both of you and hear your useful and experienced words. Here I am: this is a venerable schema-monk, and this is a reverent priest. Therefore, where two or three are gathered in the name of Jesus Christ, there He Himself is promised; and now there are five of us in His name, then, of course, His grace will be poured out on us more generously!

            Yesterday’s story of your companion, dear brother, about your ardent devotion to the Holy Gospel, is very wonderful and instructive. I am curious to hear how this great mystery of piety was revealed to you?

            – The loving Lord, who wants everyone to be saved and come to the understanding of the truth, revealed this knowledge to me, out of His great mercy, in a wonderful way, without any human mediation. For five years I was a professor at the Lyceum, passing through the path of life along the gloomy paths of debauchery, being carried away by vain philosophy along the paths of the world, and not after Christ, and, perhaps, I would have completely perished if I had not been somewhat supported by the fact that I lived together with my pious mother and my own sister, in that… boulevard, I met and became acquainted with a beautiful young man who announced himself as a Frenchman, a certified student, who had recently arrived from Paris and was looking for a place as a tutor. I was very pleased with his wonderful education, and I invited him to my place as a guest, and we became friends. For two months he often visited me, and we sometimes walked together, went for a walk, and went out together to parties, of course, the most moral ones. Finally, he came to me with an invitation to one of the aforementioned parties and, in order to convince me more quickly, began to praise the special gaiety and pleasantness of the place to which he was inviting me. Having said a few words about this, he suddenly began to ask me to leave my office, where we were sitting, with him, and to sit in the living room. This seemed strange to me, and I, saying that I had already repeatedly noticed his reluctance to be in my office, asked him: what was the reason for this? And I kept him here even longer because the living room was next to my mother’s and sister’s room, and therefore it would be indecent to talk about empty matter here. He supported his desire with various tricks, finally he frankly told me this: “Here you have the Gospel on this shelf among the books; I respect this book so much that I feel uncomfortable in the presence of this conversation about our scattered objects. Please take it out of here, and then we will be.” Out of my sincerity, smiling at these words of his, I took the Gospel from the shelf, and said: you should have told me this a long time ago! And handing it to him, I said: here, put it in that room yourself!.. As soon as I touched him with the Gospel, he immediately shuddered and  disappeared . This struck me so much that I fell to the floor unconscious from fear. Hearing a knock, my family ran in and for half an hour could not bring me to my senses. Finally, I felt a strong fear, trembling, restless excitement and complete numbness of my arms and legs so that I could not move them. The doctor who was called determined the illness by the name of paralysis, as a result of some strong shock or fright. For a whole year after this occasion, with careful treatment from many doctors, I lay and did not receive any relief from the illness, which later indicated the need to resign from the learned service. My old mother died at this time, my sister settled down to devote herself to the monastic life. So all this aggravated my illness even more. I had only one consolation during this painful time – in reading the Gospel, which had not left my hands since the beginning of my illness, as a pledge of a miraculous event for me.

            Once, an unknown hermit who goes to the monastery for gatherings unexpectedly came to me. He convincingly told me not to rely on medicines alone, which without God’s help are powerless to help, but to ask God and pray diligently for it, because  prayer is the most powerful means for healing all illnesses, both physical and spiritual  . “How can I pray in such a state, when I am unable to bow or raise my hands to make the sign of the cross?” I objected to him because of my inattention. He told me to this: “At least pray somehow!” And then he could not explain to me in any significant way how to pray… After the departure of this visitor, I involuntarily began to reflect on prayer and its power and action, remembering the theological lectures that I had heard long ago at the institution when I was still a student. This occupied me very pleasantly, restored in my memory the bright religious knowledge, warmed my soul, and immediately I began to feel some relief from my painful attacks. Since the Gospel was constantly with me, then, due to my faith in it, as a result of a miracle, and also remembering that I had heard the entire structure of the treatise on prayer in lectures based on the Gospel texts, I considered it best to learn prayer and Christian piety alone. Having read this, I drew from it, as from an abundant source, a complete system of saving life and true interior prayer. Having noted with reverence all the places and texts on this subject, from that time on I have been constantly trying to study these divine decrees and to put them into practice as much as possible, although with difficulty. With such occupation of mine, my illness gradually eased and, finally, as you see, I completely recovered. Left alone, in gratitude to God for His fatherly mercies and healing and admonition, I decided, following the example of my sister and the desire of my soul, to dedicate myself to the life of a hermit, in order to freely perceive and assimilate such sweet verbs of the eternal life, indicated to me in the word.

            Here I am now making my way to a secluded hermitage near the Solovetsky monastery on the White Sea, called Anzersky, about which I have reliably heard as a convenient place for a contemplative life. I will also tell you: it is true that although the Holy Gospel comforts me in this journey of mine and abundantly enlightens my immature mind, warming even my cold heart, yet, recognizing my powerlessness, I will openly declare that the conditions for performing the works of piety and acquiring salvation, which require a perfect rank, which require perfect, humble wisdom, which the Gospel commands, terrify me in their height and because of the weakness and damage of my heart. Therefore, standing now in the midst of despair and hope, I do not know what will happen to me in the future!

      SCHEDULE.  – With such an obligatory pledge of the special and wondrous mercy of God and with your scientific education, it is unforgivable not only to fall into sadness, but even to allow a shadow of doubt about God’s intercession and His help into your soul! Do you know what the God-enlightened Chrysostom says about this? “No one should be sad (he teaches) and imagine with the announcement that the commandments of the Gospel are impossible or inconvenient! God, in predestining the salvation of man, certainly did not command him the commandments with the intention of making him a criminal through their inconvenience. No! eternity.”

            Of course, the regular and unwavering fulfillment of God’s precepts seems extremely difficult to our nature, and therefore salvation is inconvenient: but the same word of God, which originated the commandments, also presents in itself the means not only for the convenient fulfillment of these, but even the comfort in fulfillment. If this is at first glance covered with a veil of mystery, then, of course, in order to better turn the practitioner to humility and more conveniently bring him closer to union with God by indicating direct refuge to him in prayer and asking for his fatherly help. This is the secret of salvation, and not to expect one’s own effort.

      BUILDER.  – How I would like to know about this secret, weak and powerless, so that through it, as a means, I could somehow correct my lazy life for the glory of God and my salvation!

      SCHEMINIK.  – This mystery is known to you, beloved brother, from your book “Benevolence”. Does it consist in unceasing prayer, which you have so firmly studied and in which you have so zealously practiced and rejoiced?

      BUILDER.  – I fall at your feet, venerable father! For God’s sake, grant me the honor of hearing from your lips something useful about this saving mystery and about the sacred prayer, which I most desire to hear and love to read for the strengthening and consolation of my sinful soul.

      SCHEME. –  Although I cannot satisfy your desire with my own reflections on this high subject, because I am still little experienced in this matter, I have a very clear notebook of a certain spiritual writer on this very subject. If it pleases our interlocutors, I will bring it immediately and, if you wish, I can read it to you. Thank you!

      ALL.  – Have mercy, venerable father! Do not deprive us of such saving knowledge.

THE MYSTERY OF SALVATION, REVEALED BY CONTINUOUS PRAYER.

            How to be saved? This pious Christian question naturally arises in the mind of everyone, as a result of the feeling of the damaged and weakened nature of man and the remnants of the original desire for truth and righteousness in him. Everyone, even if he has some faith in immortality and the reward of eternal life, involuntarily encounters the thought of how to be saved when he turns his gaze to heaven… Having difficulty in solving this problem, he asks the prudent and knowledgeable about it, then reads, at their direction, the instructional books of spiritual writers on this subject, according to the truths and rules they have read. In all these instructions, he meets the seemingly necessary conditions for salvation: a pious life, feats and work on oneself for resolute self-denial, leading to the creation of good deeds, to the constant fulfillment of all God’s commandments, which testifies to the steadfastness and firmness of faith. performed with deep humility and in combination, because as all virtues depend on each other, they must support each other, perfect and inspire each other, just as the rays of the sun only then reveal their power and create a flame when they are concentrated through glass at one point. Otherwise, “  the unrighteous are few and many are unrighteous  .”

            Moreover, to further convince him of the necessity of this complex and combined activity, he hears high praise of the refinement of virtues and condemnation of the baseness and gravity of vices. All this is reflected in the false promise of either a great reward and bliss, or of painful punishment and calamities in eternal life.

            Such is the special nature of preaching in the new age!

            Thus directed, the ardent seeker of salvation with all joy sets about carrying out the instructions and applying to the experiments everything heard and read. But, alas! at the first step of his aspiration he does not find the opportunity to achieve his goal, foreseeing and even feeling that his damaged and weakened nature will prevail over the convictions of reason; that his free will is bound, his inclinations are damaged, his strength of spirit is weakened. With such experienced self-awareness of his powerlessness, he naturally moves on to the thought that there are no means that contribute to the fulfillment of what the law of God commands, what Christian piety requires and what all those who have been worthy to receive salvation and sanctity have done. As a result of this and in order to reconcile within himself the demand of reason and conscience with the weakness of the executive powers, he still turns to the preachers of salvation with the question: how to be saved? How to justify the conditions of salvation that are inaccessible to him? And can the preacher himself consistently practice all that he teaches?… “Ask God, pray to God that He may help you!” Then wouldn’t it be more fruitful if earlier or always and with everything he taught prayer, as the agent of the fulfillment of all that Christian piety requires and by which salvation is achieved? concludes the questioner and, at the same time, begins to study prayer – reads, ponders, understands the teachings of those who have written on this subject. True, he finds many bright thoughts, deep knowledge and expressions in them. Another reflects wonderfully on the necessity of prayer; another – on its power, beneficence, on the duty to pray, on the fact that prayer requires diligence, attention, warmth of spirit, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow and other things that should be present in prayer…

            And what is prayer in itself and how to pray essentially? Since it is very rare to find thorough and generally understandable explanations for these, albeit very basic and necessary, questions, the zealous desirous of prayer remains again under the veil of mystery. From general reading, the pious, but only the external side of prayer will take root in his memory, and he will come to the following conclusion or conclusion: in order to pray, one must go to church, be baptized, bow, kneel, read the Psalter, canons, akathists…

            This is the general idea of ​​prayer of those who are not familiar with the writings on interior prayer and the contemplative works of the holy fathers. Finally, the seeker comes across a book called “The Philanthropy,” in which twenty-five holy fathers have clearly depicted the doctrine of true and essential heartfelt prayer. Here the mystery of salvation and prayer begins to lift its veil for him, and he sees that to pray truly means to direct the mind and memory to the inescapable remembrance of God, to walk in His divine presence, to move oneself to His love through contemplation of God, and to unite the name of God with the breath and movement of the heart, the guidance of Jesus Christ or the creation of the Jesus Prayer at any time and place and in every occupation  without ceasing  .

            Although these bright truths, having illuminated the knowledge of the seeker and opened for him the way to the study and achievement of prayer, will convince him immediately to begin to fulfill these wise instructions, nevertheless, in his experiments, acting in periodic methods, he will not remain without difficulties, until the experienced mentor in all the fullness of the secret that only  the frequency  or incessantness of prayer (however it was pronounced at first) is the only powerful means, both for the perfection of interior prayer, and for the salvation of the soul. Part of prayer is the basis or foundation, which holds on itself the whole circle of saving activity, as St. Symeon, the New Theologian, confirms: “He,” he says, “who prays incessantly, in this one thing he has acquired all good things.”

            So, to present the truth of this discovery in its entirety, the mentor develops it in the following way:

            For the salvation of the soul, first of all, true faith is necessary. The Holy Scriptures say:  without faith it is impossible to please God  (Heb. XI, 6)  .

            But from the same Holy Scripture it is clear that a person cannot on his own revive faith even to the size of a mustard seed; that faith is not from us, for it is a gift from God; that faith, as a spiritual gift, is given by the Holy Spirit.

            What then to do? How to reconcile a person’s need for faith with the impossibility of being reborn in oneself on the part of a person? In the same Holy Scripture, a means is revealed for this and examples are shown: “  ask and it will be given to you  .” The apostles could not themselves break the perfection of faith, but they prayed to Jesus Christ: “  Lord, increase our faith  .” Here is an example of acquiring faith. From this it is clear that faith acquires prayer.

            For the salvation of the soul with true faith, good deeds are also necessary – virtues, because ”  faith without works is dead  “, because a person is justified by works, and not by faith alone, and  if you want to bring into the womb, keep the commandments: do not kill, do not commit adultery, do not love your mother and love your neighbor as yourself  . And all these commandments must be fulfilled together. “If the whole law is kept, and whoever sins in one point, he is guilty of all.” So teaches St. Apostle James.

            And St. Apostle Paul, imagining human weakness, says that “by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.”  For I know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under  sin. I am weak, unable to justify the commandments in myself?

            He has no opportunity only until he asks for it, until he prays for it. “  Do not have, but do not ask  ,” the reason is presented by St. Apostle. And Jesus Christ Himself says: “  Without Me you can do nothing  .” And how to do with Him, He teaches this in this way: “  Be in Me and I in you  .” “  If anyone abides in Me, he will bear much fruit  .” And to be in Him means to constantly feel His presence, to constantly ask in His name: “Whatever you ask in My name, I will do.” So, the possibility of doing good deeds is acquired through prayer! An example of this is seen in the Apostle Paul himself, who prayed three times for victory over temptations, bowed his knees before God the Father, that He would give affirmation in the inner man, and, finally, commanded first of all  to make  prayers and even pray about everything without ceasing. From all the above it follows that the entire spiritual salvation of man depends on prayer, and therefore it is, first and foremost, necessary, because by it faith is revived, through it all virtues are fulfilled. In short, with prayer everything will succeed, and without it no work of Christian piety can take place.

            Therefore, incessantness, constancy, is exclusively and exclusively represented by prayer alone; other virtues – each has its own time, and in prayer it is commanded to be practiced continuously – “  Pray without ceasing  .” It is enough to pray always, to pray at any time, in any place.

            True prayer requires its own conditions: it must be offered with purity of thought and heart, with fervent diligence, with firm attention, with trembling reverence and with deep humility. But who in a conscientious conscience will not agree that he is far from the above-mentioned conditions for true prayer, that he offers his prayer more out of necessity, more out of compulsion than out of inclination, out of the pleasure of prayer, out of love for prayer? The Holy Scripture also testifies to this, that a person is unable to restrain and completely cleanse his mind from unseemly thoughts: “Does a man have a mind to do evil from his youth?” That the only God gives us a different heart and a new spirit gives us “what to will and that we are children of God.” And the Apostle Paul himself said: “My spirit (that is, my voice) prays, but my mind is unfruitful.” And “do not know how or when to pray,” he confirms. It follows from this that we cannot reveal its essential properties in our prayer!

            What then is left for each man, in such impotence, to do, on the part of his will and power, to save his soul? He cannot acquire faith without prayer, nor good works; finally, he is unable to pray truly. What then is left for him, which is presented to his freedom and powers, so that he may not perish, but be saved?

            Since there is quality in every matter, the Lord presented it by His will and gift. And in order to more clearly show the dependence of man on the will of God and to immerse him more deeply in humility, God left to the will and powers of man one  quantity  of prayer, commanding to pray unceasingly at any time, in every place. And this reveals the mysterious way to achieve true prayer, and with it faith, and the fulfillment of the commandments, and salvation. So, quantity is given to man’s share. Part of prayer is given to his will… This is exactly what the Fathers of the Church teach. St. Macarius the Great says: “to pray somehow (but often) lies in our will, and to pray truly is a gift of grace.” Ex. Hesychius says that the frequency of prayer perceives habit and appeals to nature; that without frequent invocation of the name of Jesus Christ it is impossible to purify the heart.

            The Venerable Callistus and Ignatius advise, above all, to begin the feats and virtues of praying in the name of Jesus Christ often, continuously, because often even impure prayer reduces to purity. Blessed Diodochus claims that if a person invoked the name of God (prayed) as often as possible, he would not fall into sins. How experienced, wise and close to the heart are these practical instructions of the Fathers! In experimental simplicity, they shed light on the ways and means of perfecting the soul. What a high contrast they are to the moral instructions of theoretical reason! Reason convinces: do this and that well, arm yourself with courage, use the power of will, be convinced of the good consequences of virtue, for example, – cleanse the mind and heart from vain dreams, fill their place with instructive reflections, do good and you will be respected and at peace, live as reason demands and! All this, despite all efforts, does not achieve its goal without frequent prayer, without attracting God’s help. After that, let’s open up the teachings of the fathers and see what they say, for example, about the purification of the soul. St. Listvychnyk writes: “when the soul is darkened by impure thoughts, defeat the adversaries with the name of Jesus, repeating it often. You will not find a stronger and more successful weapon than this either in heaven or on earth.” St. Gregory of Sinai teaches: “Know that no one can control his mind alone, and therefore, when thoughts are impure, call on the name of Jesus Christ more often and repeatedly, and the thoughts will subside by themselves.” What a simple and convenient, but also experienced method and the opposite of the advice of the theoretical mind, which seeks to achieve purity by its own independent activity! Having understood these experienced instructions of St. fathers, we come to the true conclusion that the main, only, and most convenient way to acquire the works of salvation and spiritual perfection is the part, the continuity of prayer, no matter how weak it may be.

            Christian soul! If you do not find the strength within yourself to worship God in spirit and truth; if your heart does not yet feel the warmth and sweet taste of mental and internal prayer, then bring to the prayer sacrifice what you can, what lies in your will, what is proportional to your strength. Let the lower organs of your mouth resemble the first with an unceasing prayerful call; let them often and continuously call upon the mighty name of Jesus Christ. This is not a great labor and is within everyone’s power. At the same time, this is also required by the experienced commandment of the holy. Apostle: ”  let us offer a sacrifice of guilt (always) to God, or the fruit of lips confessing His name  .” Part of the prayer will certainly make the habit and turn into nature, will attract the mind and heart to the proper mood in time. Imagine, if a person were to unfailingly fulfill this one commandment of God about unceasing prayer, then in one he would fulfill all the commandments, for if he were to pray continuously at any time during all his affairs and activities, secretly calling upon the Divine name of Jesus Christ, even if at first without a soul, he would no longer have time for sensual sinful pleasures. Every criminal thought of his would encounter an obstacle in its spread, every sinful deed would not be pondered as fruitfully as in an empty mind: verbosity and vanity would be reduced or completely destroyed, and every fault would be immediately cleansed by the gracious power of God’s name. Frequent exercise in prayer would often distract the soul from sinful deeds and would involve it in its essential knowledge – in union with God! Now do you see how important and necessary quantity is in prayer? Participating in prayer is the only way to acquire pure and true prayer, is the best and most effective preparation for prayer, and the surest way to achieve the prayer goal and salvation!

            To further convince yourself of the necessity and fruitfulness of frequent prayer as firmly as possible, note: 1) that every excitement, every thought about prayer is the action of the Holy Spirit and the voice of your guardian angel; 2) that the name of Jesus Christ, invoked in prayer, contains in itself a self-existent and self-acting beneficial power, and therefore 3) do not be embarrassed by the impurity or dryness of your prayer and patiently wait for the fruit from the frequent invocation of the name of God. Do not listen to the inexperienced, senseless suggestion of the vain world, as if one, albeit insistent, but cold cry is useless verbiage… No! The power of the name of God and the frequency of the invocation will manifest their fruit in due time!

            One of the spiritual writers thinks about this wonderfully. “I know,” he says, “that for many hypocritical, falsely wise philosophers, who seek everywhere false greatness and noble exercises in the eyes of reason and pride, simple, verbal, and single, but frequent exercises in prayer seem insignificant, or an insignificant occupation, or a low occupation. They forget the instructions of Jesus Christ – “  Unless you become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of God  .” They compose for themselves some kind of science for prayer, on the shaky foundations of natural reason  .  Didn’t our Divine Teacher Himself praise such frequent prayers? In half the world, – there is no need! You just need to continue it, don’t be silent, and don’t worry: it will cleanse itself  of part of it  .

            So, after all these convictions that the frequency of prayer, despite all its weakness, is so powerful, is certainly available to a person and lies in his complete will – decide to try, at least one day for the first time, to spend in observation of yourself, the frequency of your prayer so that much is spent on the prayerful invocation of the name of Jesus Christ; and this superiority of prayer over life’s affairs – in time will certainly prove to you that this day is not lost, but acquired for salvation; that on the scales of God’s justice, frequent prayer weighs the board of your weaknesses and deeds, and erases the sins of that day in the memorable book of conscience, places you on the stage of righteousness, and gives hope of receiving sanctification in eternal life. (From the author’s manuscript, received by Fr. Ambrose from the Good Monastery).

      BUILDER.  – I thank you with all my soul, holy father! You have delighted my sinful soul with this reading. For the Lord’s sake, bless me to rewrite this little list for myself – I will write it down in a few hours. Everything I have read is so wonderful and comforting, and it is clear and precise to my foolish mind, just as the holy fathers reason about it in “Dobrotolyubstva”. Both, for example, John of Karpaf in the 4th part of “Dobrotolyubstva” also says that if you do not have the strength for moderation and active deeds, then know that the Lord wants to save you through prayer. And in your notebook how beautifully and clearly all this is spread. I thank, first of all, God, and then you, that I was deigned to hear this!

      PROFESSOR.  – And I listened to your lecture with great attention and pleasure, dear father! All the evidence, according to the strictest logic, is correct, for me wonderful; but at the same time, it seems to me that the possibility of continuous prayer is mainly conditioned by favorable circumstances and completely calm solitude. For I agree that frequent or unceasing prayer is a powerful and only way to acquire gracious help in all matters of piety and sanctification of the soul, and is accessible to human strength, but this method can be used only when a person uses the opportunity for solitude and peace: in removal from occupations, worries and troubles; then he has only one struggle with laziness, or boredom from thoughts; but if he is obliged to a position, obliged to continuous affairs, is necessarily in a noisy society of people, and would diligently like to pray often, he is unable to do this due to inevitable absent-mindedness. Therefore, the only way to pray frequently, provided only favorable circumstances, may not be used by everyone and does not belong to everyone.

      SCHEME.  – In vain you conclude so! Without even mentioning how a heart trained in inner prayer can always, during all occupations (both physical and mental) in any noise, pray and call upon the name of God without hindrance (the leader himself knows this by experience, and the untrained need gradual training for this), it can be affirmed that no outsider can pray. For the secret thought of man is not subject to any external connection, and is completely free in itself, it can be felt at any time and turned into prayer, even the tongue itself can secretly express prayer without an external sound in the presence of many, and during external occupations; and at the same time, our occupations are not so important, and our conversations are not so interesting, that it is not possible to find convenience, during them, temporarily and often to call upon the name of Jesus Christ, even if the mind is not yet accustomed to continuous prayer; Although, of course, solitude from people and distracting objects is the main condition for attentive and unceasing prayer; however, in the event of impossibility of using this, one should not excuse oneself in the rarity of prayer: since the quantity, often available to everyone – both healthy and sick, lies in his will. Examples of proof of this are those who were burdened with duties, entertaining positions, worries, chores and work, not only always called upon the Divine name of Jesus Christ, but even through this learned and achieved continuous inner prayer of the heart. Thus Patriarch Photius, elevated from the senators to the rank of patriarch, while governing the large Constantinople flock, was constantly in the invocation of the name of God, and even achieved through this spontaneous, heartfelt prayer. Thus Callistus on St. Mount Athos, while undergoing the laborious cook’s obedience, learned continuous prayer. Thus, the simple-hearted Lazarus, burdened with incessant work for the brethren, constantly uttered the Jesus Prayer during all noisy activities and found peace. And many others who similarly practiced in the incessant invocation of the name of God. If it were impossible to pray during distracting activities, or in the society of people, then, of course, the impossible would not be commanded. St. John Chrysostom in his teaching on prayer says the following. “No one should present the answer that it is impossible to always pray when busy with life’s cares, or that one cannot be in the temple. Wherever you are, you can set up an altar to God in your mind with the help of prayer.” You can pray everywhere. Indeed, if a person pays careful attention to himself, he will find convenience for prayer everywhere, if only he would be convinced that prayer should be the main occupation before all his duties. verbosity; I would not be overly busy with worries, so that through all this I could buy more time for quiet prayer. The possibilities and will of man are presented, and that in every time, situation and place it is possible to pray, and it is convenient to move from frequent oral prayer to mental prayer, and from this to heartfelt prayer, which opens the kingdom of God within us.

      PROFESSOR.  – I agree that with all mechanical occupations it is possible, and even convenient, to engage in frequent, or even continuous, prayer, because mechanical handicraft does not require intense immersion and much reflection, and therefore my mind can be immersed in continuous prayer and my mouth can follow the same. But when I have to engage in something exclusively intellectual, such as attentive reading, or contemplation of a deep subject, or writing, how can I pray with my mind and my mouth at the same time? And since prayer is primarily a matter of the mind, how can I give one mind diverse occupations at the same time?

      SCHEDULE.  – The solution to this question of yours will not be very difficult if we take into consideration that those who pray are divided into three categories: 1) beginners, 2) those who are in time and 3) those who have learned prayer. Therefore, beginners can have, even during mental exercises, a frequent excitation of the mind and heart to God, and the utterance of a short oral prayer; and those who are in time or have come to a constant mood of mind, can engage in meditation or writing in the continuous presence of God, as the basis of prayer. This can be expressed by the following example. Imagine that a strict and demanding King ordered you to compose a reflection on a deep matter given to them – in His presence – at the foot of His throne; no matter how fully occupied you are with your subject, the presence of the King, in whose hand your life is, having taken possession of you, will not allow you to forget for a moment that you are reasoning, understanding and composing not alone, but in a place that demands special reverence, respect and decency. This feeling and the living sense of the King’s nearness very clearly express the possibility of engaging in unceasing interior prayer and in mental exercises.

            As for those who, through long practice or the grace of God, have acquired heartfelt prayer from mental prayer, such people do not cease continuous prayer not only when their minds are deeply occupied, but even in their sleep, as the Wise One testifies: “  I sleep, but my heart is awake  ”… The name of God, which by itself arouses to prayer, draws the mind and the whole soul into a continuous outpouring of prayer, no matter in what state the one who prays is, and no matter what abstract and intellectual activity he is engaged in.

      Priest.  – Allow me, venerable father, to express my thoughts in turn. The article you read beautifully expresses that the only way to salvation and perfection is part of prayer – “whatever it may be”… This is incomprehensible to me, and therefore it seems to me: what good will it be if I pray incessantly and call upon the Name of God only with my tongue, but not with Him? This will be nothing but idle talk! The result of this will only be that the tongue will falter, and the mind, which is hindered by this in its reflections, will also suffer the loss of its ability to act. God does not require words, but an attentive mind and a purified heart. Isn’t it better, even if occasionally, or only at a set time, to perform even a short prayer, but with attention, with diligence, with warmth of soul, and with a worthy concept? Otherwise, even if you say prayer day and night, but do not have purity of soul and deeds of piety, then even then you will not gain anything saving; but remaining with only external chatter, and finally getting tired and bored, you will come to such a conclusion that, having completely cooled your faith in prayer, you will completely abandon this fruitless exercise. Further, the futility of just verbal prayer can be seen in the revelations presented by the Holy Scripture; for example: “  This people honors Me with their lips; but their heart is far from Me  .” “  Not everyone says to Me: Lord, Lord, come into the Kingdom of God  .” “  I would rather speak five words with my mind than words of darkness with my tongue,  ” etc. All this expresses the fruitlessness of external, inattentive prayer of the lips.

      SCHEME.  – The conclusion you have presented could have some basis if it were not connected with the advice of oral prayer – incessantness or constancy; if prayer in the Name of Jesus Christ did not have spontaneous power, and attention and diligence to it were not acquired as a result of gradualness in the exercise of prayer… But since this is about the frequency, duration and incessantness of prayer (even if it is initially accompanied by inattention or dryness), then this. Let us analyze this in more detail. One spiritual writer, convincing of the greatest benefit and fruitfulness of frequent prayer expressed in monotonous words, finally says: “Although many of the misinformed consider this oral and frequent creation of the same prayer useless and even trivial, calling it mechanical and meaningless; the secret that is later revealed by this mechanical exercise, they do not know how this oral but frequent cry insensibly becomes a real cry of the heart, deepens into the interior, becomes more pleasant, becomes as if natural for the soul, enlightens it, nourishes it and leads to union. to the boys who were determined to teach the alphabet and reading; this boring statement of letters was a mystery to them. to purify the soul, you first purify the body: you impose a fast on yourself, deprive your body of nutritious and irritating food? God-pleasing, so conveniently forgotten by you… And you experience with experience that through the external fast of your body you acquire an inner refinement of the mind, peace of heart, a weapon for taming passions, and a reminder of spiritual exercise. And so you, with the help of external matter, acquire an inner spiritual benefit. prayer, which by its long-term development develops the inner prayer of the heart: it inflames and contributes to mental union with God. which happens like this: whoever has decided to incessantly call upon the name of Jesus Christ, or, what is the same, to continuously recite the Jesus prayer, of course, at first feels the work and struggles with laziness, but the further and more he practices in this, the more insensitively he becomes related to this occupation, so that later without a trace, so that later without a trace of effort, they move uncontrollably by themselves and pronounce the prayer without a voice. to lean in and listen to this involuntary action of the lips, being thereby aroused to attention, which is, finally, the source of the sweetness of heartfelt and true prayer. given by you in testimony to your objection, then this is explained by a proper consideration of them. did not acknowledge it with the heart. This is said to them and does not apply to the reading of prayer, about which Jesus Christ directly and positively, or certainly commanded thus: “It is fitting always to pray and not to knock” (The same does not grieve). either without meaning, or in an unfamiliar language in the church, understanding this about public instruction, and not about prayer itself, about which he affirmatively says thus: “I want (Christians) to make prayer in every place” generally advises: “Pray without ceasing” the correct understanding of Holy Scripture?

      BUILDER.  Truly so, honest father! I have seen many who simply, without any enlightening instruction, and not knowing what attention is, by themselves orally creating the Jesus Prayer continuously, achieved the point that their lips and tongue could not refrain from uttering the prayer, which later so delighted and enlightened them, and from the weak and indolent.

      SCHEMINIK.  Yes! Prayer seems to reborn a person. Its power is so powerful that nothing – no power of passion can withstand it. If it pleases you, then in farewell I will read to you, brothers, a short but interesting article that I took with me.

      ALL.  Let us listen with reverent pleasure!

      SCHEDULE.

About the power of prayer.

            Prayer is so strong and powerful that pray and do whatever you want, and prayer will lead you to the right and righteous action.

            To please God, nothing more is needed than to love – love and do whatever you want, says Blessed Augustine: for he who truly loves cannot even want to do anything displeasing to his beloved… Since prayer is an outpouring and action of love, then truly the same can be said about it: and do whatever you want, and you will achieve the goal of prayer, you will acquire sanctification through it!

            To develop a more thorough understanding of this subject, let’s explain with examples:

            1) Pray, and think whatever you want, and your thought will be purified by prayer. Prayer will give you enlightenment of mind, calm and drive away all inappropriate thoughts. – This is stated by St. Gregory of Sinai: “If you want, he advises, to drive away thoughts and purify the mind, drive them away with prayer, for, except for prayer, nothing can restrain thoughts.” St. John of the Ladder also speaks about this: “In the Name of Jesus, conquer imaginary enemies, you will find no other weapon besides this.”

            2) Pray and do whatever you want, and your deeds will be pleasing to God, beneficial and saving for you.

            Frequent prayer, no matter what it is about, will not remain without fruit (Mark the Ascetic) because in itself there is the power of grace. “Holy is His name, and everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” For example, the one who prayed without success in godlessness in this prayer received an image and a call to repentance. The lustful girl prayed upon her return, and prayer showed her the way to a chaste life and to listening to the instructions of Jesus Christ.

            3) Pray, and do not work hard to overcome your passions with your own strength. Prayer will destroy them in you: “What is greater in you than that which is in the world,” says the Holy Scripture. And St. John of Carpathia teaches that if you do not have the gift of temperance, do not be sad; but know that God requires from you diligence in prayer, and prayer will save you.

            The elder described in the Patriotic War, who “lost his victories,” that is, having stumbled over sin, did not grieve, but turned to prayer and became wise through it, serves as a proof of this example.

            4) Pray and fear nothing, do not fear troubles, do not be afraid of misfortunes, prayer will protect, turn them away. Remember the drowned Peter of little faith; Paul, who prayed in prison; the monk, delivered by prayer from the temptation that befell him; the girl, saved from a malicious warrior through prayer, and similar cases: this confirms the power, power and comprehensiveness of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

            5) Pray, at least somehow, always, and do not be ashamed of anything; be spiritually cheerful and peaceful: prayer will arrange everything and teach you. Remember what the saints John Chrysostom and Mark the Ascetic say about the power of prayer: the first claims that “prayer, even if offered by us, filled with sins, immediately cleanses”… And the second says this about it: “To pray somehow lies in our power; and to pray purely is a gift of grace.” Therefore, what is in your power, sacrifice to God; although the amount (possible for you) first offer Him as a sacrifice, and God’s power will pour out on your weak strength; and prayer is dry and scattered, but frequent – constant, having found a habit and turned into nature, will become a pure, bright, fiery and worthy prayer.

            6) Then, finally, if your waking hours were accompanied by prayer, then naturally there would be no time left not only for sinful deeds, but even for thoughts about them.

            Now you see how many profound thoughts are concentrated in this wise saying: “Love, and do what you will. Pray, and do what you will!”… How joyful and comforting all that is said is for a sinner burdened with weaknesses – for one who drags under the burden of warring passions!

            Prayer is everything, revered as a comprehensive means for the salvation and perfection of the soul… Yes! But with the name of prayer is closely connected here its condition: “Pray without ceasing,” the word Bohemia commands. Therefore, prayer will then manifest its all-effective power and fruit when it is performed often, without ceasing, because frequent prayer definitely belongs to our will: just as purity, diligence and perfection of prayer are a gift of grace.

            So, let us pray as often as possible, let us dedicate our whole lives to our prayer, even if it is distracted at first! Frequent practice will teach us attention, quantity will certainly lead to quality.

            To learn to do something well, you have to do it as often as possible, said one experienced spiritual writer.

      PROFESSOR.  Truly, a great work of prayer! And zeal for its frequency is the key to opening its beneficial treasures. But how often I find in myself a struggle between zeal and laziness! How desirable it would be to find a means and help to victory, and to the conviction and excitement to adhere unceasingly to prayer!

      SCHEDULE.  Many spiritual writers present various means, based on common sense, for stimulating diligence in prayer: such as:

            1) They advise to delve into reflection on the necessity, superiority, and fruitfulness of prayer for the salvation of the soul.

            2) Firmly convince yourself that God certainly requires prayer from us, and His word preaches this everywhere.

            3) Constantly remember that due to laziness and neglect of prayer one cannot keep up with the deeds of piety and gain peace and salvation; and therefore one must inevitably experience both punishment on earth and torment in eternal life.

            4) Inspire your determination with the examples of God’s Pleasers, who all achieved sanctification and salvation through unceasing prayer, etc.

            Although all these means have their merit and flow from true understanding, yet the soul, sick with carelessness and lust, when it accepts and uses them, rarely sees their fruitfulness, for the reason that these medicines are bitter to its spoiled taste, and weak to its deeply damaged nature. For some Christians do not know that we must pray often and diligently, that God requires this; that we will suffer punishment for laziness in prayer, that all the saints prayed diligently and unceasingly; yet all this knowledge so rarely produces its favorable effect! Every observer sees in himself that he either does little or not at all justify the activity of these suggestions of reason and conscience, and with frequent remembrance of this, he lives just as badly and lazily…

            Therefore, the experienced and God-wise St. Fathers, knowing the weakness of arbitrariness and the fatness of the voluptuous heart of man, act on this especially, and from this side, like doctors seasoning bitter medicine with sweet syrups and the body, which pleases the edges of the medicinal vessel with honey, discover the easiest and most effective means, destroying the active with the help of God – to achieve perfection and sweet hope in the prayer of love for God. They advise as often as possible to reflect on such a state of the soul, and to carefully read about this the stories of the Fathers, who encourage us to assure how accessible and easy it is to achieve these sweet inner feelings in prayer; and how desirable they are, somehow: pleasure flowing from the heart; soothing warmth and light pouring out inside; indescribable delight, joy, lightness, deep peace and essential bliss and self-satisfaction of life, which is instilled in the heart during the action of prayer. By delving into these reflections, the weak and cold soul is warmed, strengthened, encouraged by success in prayer, and as if lured into the experiences of prayerful exercise, as Saint Isaac the Syrian says about it: “The lure for the soul is joy, produced by hope, flourishing in the heart; He continues: “At the beginning of this action and to the end, a certain way and hope of accomplishment are foreseen … and this prompts the mind to lay the foundation of the matter and, in thought, to this goal, borrows the mind for its own comfort in the matter.” Also, the Monk Hesychius, describing the stumbling due to laziness in prayer and the establishment to renew diligence in it, in conclusion directly says the following: “Then it is not for nothing that in the silence of the heart we are ready to desire, but for the sweet feeling and joy of it in the soul” (ch.

            And from this it follows that by encouraging care for prayer, this Father teaches “its sweet feeling and joy”… Similarly, the Great Macarius teaches “that our spiritual labors (prayer) should be done with the goal and hope of fruits, that is, with delight in our hearts.

            A clear example of this method, as a powerful means, is seen in many places of “Dobrotolyubstva” in detailed descriptions of prayerful pleasures; they should be read as often as possible to combat the disease of laziness or dryness in prayer, considering oneself unworthy of these pleasures and humbly reproaching oneself for neglecting prayer.

      Priest:  Will not such reflections lead the inexperienced to spiritual love, as theologians call that yearning of the soul that longs for excessive comforts and the kindness of grace, not being satisfied with the fact that it must perform the work of piety out of duty and obligation, without dreaming of a reward?

      PROFESSOR.  I think that theologians in this case warn against immoderation or greed for spiritual pleasures, and do not completely reject pleasure and comfort in virtues: for if desiring rewards is not perfection, God nevertheless does not forbid a person to think about rewards and comfort and even to use the commandments Himself to achieve perfection. – “Honor your father and your mother” is the commandment! – And here follows the reward that encourages its fulfillment: “That it may be well with you.” “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor,” is the requirement of perfection. – And immediately after this the reward that encourages the achievement of perfection: “Your mother has treasure in heaven” (Matt. XIX, 27).

            “Rejoice in the day when men shall hate you, and shall reproach you with evil, for the Son of man’s sake,” is the great demand of the feat, which requires extraordinary strength of spirit and unwavering patience. For this, here is a great reward and consolation, capable of stirring up and supporting extraordinary strength of spirit: “for your reward is great in heaven,” therefore I think that some striving for pleasure in heartfelt prayer is also necessary, and constitutes the main way to achieving both diligence and success. So, all this indisputably confirms the practical reasoning of the father of the schema-monk on this subject, which we have just heard…

      SCHEME.  – One of the great theologians, St. Macarius of Egypt, speaks most clearly about this subject as follows: “As when planting grapes, diligence and labor are added for the purpose of gathering fruits, and if there are none, then the whole thing will be in vain; so also in prayer, if we fulfill the spiritual fruits, that is, love, peace, joy, etc., with the goal or hope of fruits, that is, the enjoyment of sweets in our hearts, we must fulfill” (v. 3, ch. 5). Do you see how clearly this holy Father allowed the question of the need for enjoyment during prayer? … And here, by the way, I remembered a recently read article that is the main reason for the desire for outpouring; and therefore, considering this naturalness can also serve as a powerful means of stimulating diligence in prayer, which means the professor so eagerly seeks. investigating that there can be no action without a cause, and descending from the lower to the higher on the ladder of tangible things, finally reaches the main cause of God. That is why no nation, no tribe of savages has ever been and is not, without some idea of ​​God. that pulls it to the heights, something aches towards something unknown … On this basis all natural religions occur, and it is very wonderful that everywhere the essence or soul of every religion is made up of a secret prayer, which marks itself with some kind of movements and the obvious wild concept of pagan people! … As strange as this phenomenon is in the eyes of reason, so much the more it demands from it the disclosure of the secret cause of this strange phenomenon, which is expressed in the natural desire for prayer.

            The psychological answer to this is not complicated: the root, division and power of all passions and actions in man is innate self-love. This is clearly confirmed by the fundamental and general idea of ​​self-preservation. Every desire, every enterprise, every human action has as its goal the satisfaction of self-love, the search for one’s own good. The satisfaction of this need accompanies the whole life of a natural man. But the human spirit is not satisfied with anything sensual, and innate self-love never ceases in its striving; therefore desires develop more and more, the striving for good grows, fills the imagination and tunes this feeling. The outpouring of this inner feeling and desire is revealed by itself, is a natural excitement to prayer, is the need of self-love, which with difficulty achieves its goals. The less a person succeeds and the more his own good is in mind, the more he desires, the more strongly he pours out his desire in prayer; he addresses a request, the desired to the unknown cause of all things. So, innate selfishness is the main element of life, the root cause that excites the natural man to prayer!

            The wise Creator of nature infused the capacity for selfishness into human nature precisely as a lure, according to the Fathers, that would lure and reduce the fallen human being to mountain communion. –

            Oh, if man did not corrupt this faculty and would keep it in a state of superiority over his spiritual nature! Then he would have a strong encouragement and a means on the way to moral perfection. But, alas! How often does he make of this noble faculty a vile passion of self-love, when he turns it into an instrument of the animals of his nature!

            Thank you very much, my dear visitors! Your soul-saving conversation greatly pleased me, and taught me much that was instructive, even though I am inexperienced. May the Lord reward you with His grace for your instructive love.

            Everyone said goodbye.

THE SEVENTH VISION.

“Pray for one another and
you will be healed” (James 5:16).

      BUILDER.  – My pious companion, the professor, and I could not overcome our common desire to set off on our journey without stopping by to say our final goodbyes and ask for your prayers for us…

      PROFESSOR.  – Yes, we understand your sincerity and those salutary conversations that we enjoyed with you among your friends. This memory will remain in our souls as a pledge of communication and Christian love even in the distant country to which we aspire.

            – Thank you for your memory and love, and in the meantime, how convenient your arrival is! Two travelers have stopped by my place: a Moldavian monk and a hermit who has lived silently in the forest for twenty years. They want to see you, I will call them now…

            Here they are!

      BUILDER.  – Ah, what a blissful life in the desert! And convenient for the unhindered bringing of the soul to union with God! A silent forest, like the Paradise of Eden, in which the sweet tree of life grows in the prayerful heart of the hermit. If I had any means for food, I think I would not part with the hermit’s life.

      PROFESSOR.  – Everything seems especially good to us from afar, and experience convinces everyone that every place, having its conveniences, has its disadvantages. Of course, for someone with a melancholic temperament and a tendency to silence, a solitary life is a comforting one, but how many dangers lie ahead on this path! Ascetic history presents many examples in which it is seen how many hermits and hermits completely deprived themselves of communication with people, fell into self-deception and deep beauty.

      Hermit.  – I am surprised how often in Russia, not only in monastic monasteries, but even from some God-fearing laypeople, one has to hear that many who wish for a solitary life, or exercise in the inner prayer act, are kept from imitating this desire by fear, lest they perish from the temptation. Insisting on this, they present examples, in support of their conditions; why, as they themselves shun the inner life, so they distance others from it… I think this comes from two origins: either from a lack of understanding of the matter and spiritual ignorance, or from their own laziness to the feat of contemplation and envy, lest others, who stand on a lower level compared to them, surpass them in these higher knowledges. enter into the reasoning of the holy fathers on this subject, who directly and resolutely teach that one should not be afraid or doubt when calling on God. If some have fallen into self-temptation or madness of the mind, it happened to them from pride, from the absence of a mentor, and from accepting appearances and dreams as truth. If such a temptation had occurred (they continue), it would have led to experience and a crown; for God’s speedy help intervenes in this indulgence. Be of good cheer! I am with you, do not be afraid! says Jesus Christ. (Gr. Syn. l. f.) From this it follows that fear and intimidation from the inner life under the pretext of self-temptation are in vain: for the humble consciousness of one’s sins, the openness of the soul to the mentor, and “blindness” in prayer, are a firm and safe bulwark against the temptation, which many fear so much, and therefore many fear, and therefore many fear, and many are so afraid, and are tempted, according to the experienced word of St. Philotheus of Sinai, who says the following: “Many monks do not understand the temptation of their mind, which they experience from demons; that is, they diligently practice only one activity (in external virtues), but they do not care about the mind, that is, about internal contemplation, they do not care, they do not care, . “Even if they hear about others that grace has affected them internally, they consider this a temptation from envy,” confirms St.

      PROFESSOR.  – Let me ask you: of course, the consciousness of one’s sins is convenient for everyone who listens to oneself; but what to do in such a case when there is no such mentor who could expertly guide on the inner path and, accepting the revelation of the soul, could communicate correct and reliable knowledge about the spiritual life? In such a case, of course, it is better not to touch contemplation than to encroach on it arbitrarily and without a leader?… Further: it is inconvenient for me, how, placing oneself in the presence of God, can one maintain perfect “unsight”? This is not natural, because our soul or mind cannot imagine anything in the imagination formless, in the sightless. And why, when immersing the mind in God, not imagine Jesus Christ or the Most Holy Trinity, etc.?

      Hermit.  – Although the guidance of an experienced and knowledgeable spiritual mentor, or an elder, to whom one could freely and with confidence and benefit open one’s soul, thoughts, and encounters on the path of inner learning every day, constitutes the main condition for the exercise in heartfelt prayer, which is practiced in silence: the parents who command this are an exception to this. The Monk Nicephorus the Monk clearly teaches this: “in the exercise in the inner heart work, a true and knowledgeable mentor is needed. If there is none, then one should diligently seek: if one does not find one, then with sorrow of heart call upon God for help to draw instruction and guidance from the teachings of Holy Scripture.” At the same time, one should also consider that with the true diligent desire of the seeker, one can hear a useful and instructive word from the simple, because St. The Fathers assure us that if you ask a Saracen with faith and the right intention, he too can tell you a useful word; but if you demand guidance from a prophet without faith and a just purpose, he too will not satisfy you… We see an example of this in the Great Macarius of Egypt, to whom a simple peasant once gave understanding and thereby stopped his passion. As for “visionlessness,” that is, not to imagine or accept any phenomena during the contemplation of light, or an angel, or Christ, or any saint, and to turn away from any daydreaming; this is commanded by the experienced St. Fathers, of course, for the reason that the faculty of imagination can conveniently embody, or as it were, revive, ideas; and therefore the inexperienced can easily be carried away by these dreams, honor them as phenomena of grace, and fall into self-temptation, and at the same time, as the Holy Scripture depicts, that “even Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.” And that the mind can naturally and conveniently be in “unseenness” and retain it even when remembering the presence of God, this is evident from the fact that the power of imagination can tangibly imagine something in “unseenness” and hold on to its imagination when considering objects that are not subject to the sense of sight, that have no external appearance. For example: the imagination and self-perception of our soul – air, heat, cold; being in the cold, one can quickly imagine warmth in the mind, although it has no form, is not subject to sight, is not measured by the touch of what is in the cold! Similarly, the presence of the spiritual and incomprehensible essence of God can be imagined in the mind, realized in the heart in unseenness.

      BUILDER.  – I also had the opportunity to hear in my travels from pious people and those seeking salvation that they are afraid to touch the inner work under the memory of temptation. For some, I also usefully read from “Beloved” the instruction of St. Gregory of Sinai, who says that “the action of the heart cannot be magical (unlike the mental one), because if the enemy wanted to turn the warmth of the heart into his disorderly burning; or replace the joy of the heart with phlegmatic pleasure: but time, experience and feelings will of themselves distort these tricks of his, even for not very…”

            I have also met others who, to their great regret, having learned the path of silence and heartfelt prayer, in the event of any stumbling block or sinful weakness, fall into despair and abandon the inner workings of the heart that they have learned!

      PROFESSOR.  – And that is very natural! I myself sometimes feel it when I happen to deviate from my inner mood into entertainment, or to commit some sin… For if the inner prayer of the heart is a holy matter, and union with God, then is it proper and not bold to introduce a holy matter into a sinful heart – without first purifying it from sins, and without first purifying it from evil, until after first purifying it from evil, and without first purifying it from sin? preparation for communion with God? It is better to be mute before God than to endure “crazy verbs” from a heart that is darkened and distracted.

      Monk.  – It is a great pity that you think so! This thought of “despair”, which is more criminal than any sin, is the main weapon of the dark world against us… Our experienced holy Fathers in this case give a completely different instruction. The Venerable Nikita Stifatus says that if you should fall and fall even into the depths of hellish anger; then do not despair, but turn to God rather, and He will soon restore your fallen heart and give you more strength than before (ch. 54). Therefore, after any fall and sinful vulnerability of the heart, it should immediately be brought into the presence of God for healing and purification, just as infected things, having lain for some time under the influence of the sun’s rays, lose their infectious sharpness and power. Many spiritual teachers affirm this affirmatively. In the fight against the enemies of salvation – our passions, however, we must not deviate from the life-giving action, that is, the calling of Jesus Christ, which is in our hearts! Our actions should not only not distract us from walking in the presence of God and from inner prayer, arousing anxiety, despondency and sadness, but also contribute to our rapid conversion to God. A baby is led by its mother, when it begins to walk, it turns to her more quickly, and holds on tightly to her when it stumbles.

      Hermit.  – I think of it this way, that the spirit of sadness and doubtful thoughts are most conveniently excited by the distraction of the mind, and not by the preservation of silent address and oneself. The ancient God-wise fathers gained victory over despondency, received inner illumination and strengthening in hope in God, in calm silence and solitude; and in this case they gave us also useful and wise advice: “Sit silently in your cell and it will teach you everything.”

      PROFESSOR.  – By my proxy to you, I would very much like to hear your critical analysis of my thoughts regarding the silence you praise and the beneficial benefits of solitude, which hermits so love to keep. This is how I think about it: since all people, according to the law of nature, ordained by the Creator, are in a necessary dependence on each other; and therefore are obliged to help each other in life, and to work for each other and be useful to each other, then this companionship is based on the well-being of the human race, and love for one’s neighbor. And the silent hermit, who has withdrawn from communication with people, how can he serve his neighbor in his inactivity, and what benefit does he bring to the well-being of human society? He completely destroys in himself the law of Creation, regarding the union of love for his own kind and beneficial influence on his fellow man!..

      Hermit.  – Since your view of silence is not correct, the conclusion is also incorrect; let us analyze this in detail:

            1. The isolated silent person not only does not remain in an inactive and empty state, but mainly acts and even more than the one who participates in social life. He tirelessly acts with his highest intelligent nature: he observes, understands, monitors the state and course of his moral existence. This is the true goal of silence! And this is as useful for his own improvement as it is for his neighbors, deprived of the opportunity to immerse themselves in themselves without distraction, for the development of moral life, because the observant silent person, communicating his inner experiences, either verbally (in exceptional cases) or by transmitting them in writing, blessedly and beneficially. contributes more and higher than the public and private benefactor, because the private, sensual benevolence of worldly people is always limited to a small number of benefactors; and the benefactor morally, by acquiring convictions and experienced methods for the improvement of spiritual life, becomes a benefactor of entire nations; His experiments and teachings are passed down from generation to generation, which we see and have used since ancient times. And which is no different from the generous alms of Christ for the sake of Christian love, but even surpasses it in its consequences.

            2. The beneficial and useful influence of the silent hermit on his fellow men is revealed not only in the communication of his instructive observations on the inner life, but even the very example of his alienated life benefits the attentive layman, bringing him to self-awareness and turning him to a sense of reverence… excitement to a pious life, reminds him of what a person can be on earth, and how it is possible to return a person to his original contemplative state, in which he came out of the hands of the Creators. The silent hermit teaches with his silence, uses his life itself, edifies and convinces him to seek God…

            3. The benefit shown comes from the silence of the true, enlightened and illumined by the light of grace. But if the silent person did not have these grace-filled gifts to be a lamp to the world, if he embarked on the path of silence with the sole purpose of hiding himself from the community of his kind, through his laziness and negligence and bad and tempting example, then even then he would do great good, and would have a beneficial influence on society, and would have a beneficial influence on society dry and fruitless branches, and throw out harmful plants for the unhindered growth of better and useful ones. And this is already a lot, and this is already a public benefit, that the silent person by his solitude takes away the temptation that would inevitably come from his tempting life among people, and would damage the morality of his neighbors.

            St. Isaac the Syrian speaks of the importance of silence as follows: “When we put all the affairs of this life on one side, and silence on the other: then we will find that it outweighs the scales (v. 41). Those who create signs, wonders and powers in the world, do not compare with those who are silent with silence, as if there were dishonor in silence, silence silence. peace, and the conversion of many nations to God.

            Even the most spontaneous sages realized the benefits of silence: the philosophical school of the Neoplatonists, which had many famous sequences under the leadership of the philosopher Plotinus, deeply developed a contemplative, inner life, which is achieved mainly in silence… One spiritual writer said that if the state were developed to the last degree of enlightenment, it would be necessary to have people, for other, contemplative purposes, in addition to social civic activity, to maintain the spirit of truth, and to receive it from all past ages, to preserve it for future ages and to transmit it to posterity. Such people, in the church, are hermits, hermits and hermits.

      BUILDER.  – It seems that no one has appreciated the benefits of silence so clearly as St. John of the Ladder: “Silence, he says, is the mother of prayer, the return from sinful captivity, the insensible success in virtues, and the ceaseless ascent to heaven.” And Jesus Christ Himself, in order to show us the benefit and necessity of silent solitude, often left public preaching and went to silent places for prayer and tranquility.

            Contemplative silent monks are like pillars that support the piety of the Church with their unceasing prayers: even in the most ancient times it is seen that many pious laymen, even kings and their dignitaries, went to visit hermits and silent monks to ask for their prayers for strength and salvation. Therefore, even a silent hermit can serve his neighbors and contribute to the benefit and good of society through solitary prayer.

      PROFESSOR.  – Here, this thought is also uncomfortable for me: all of us Christians have a common custom of asking each other for prayers; of wanting another, and especially a member of the Church entrusted to me, to pray for me. Is this not simply a need of selfishness, is it not just an adopted habit of speaking as we have heard from others, as the mind dreams without any further considerations? Does God already demand human petition, foreseeing everything and doing according to His all-good Providence, and not according to our desire; knowing and determining everything before our request, as the Holy Gospel says? Can His determination prevail more strongly over the prayer of many than over one? In that case, would God be sincere? Can the prayer of another save me, if someone from his own deeds, either glorify or be ashamed? And therefore, demanding the prayer of another is (as I think) only a pious fruit of spiritual teaching, which gives the appearance of humility and a desire to please one another with one’s superiority, nothing more!

      Monk.  – According to external reasoning and elemental philosophy, this may seem so, but the spiritual mind, illuminated by the light of religion and enlightened by the experience of inner life, penetrates deeper, contemplates more clearly and mysteriously reveals the complete opposite of the instructions you have indicated!… In order to understand this more quickly and clearly, let us explain with an example and verify with an example and verify. For example: a student went to one teacher to take education lessons. Weak abilities, and no less laziness and inattention, prevented the student from succeeding in his studies and placed him in the category of lazy and unsuccessful. Saddened by this, he did not know what to do, how to fight his shortcomings. Once, having met another student, a classmate, more capable, diligent and successful, he announced his grief to him. Sey, taking part in it, invited him to study together: “we will study together,” he said, “we will be more willing and have more fun, and therefore more successful”…

            So, they began to study together, passing on to each other who understood what; the subject of the teaching was the same. And what happened after a few days? The careless one became diligent, loved the teaching, his neglect turned into diligence and intelligence, which had a beneficial effect on both his character and morality. And his intelligent companion became even more capable and industrious. They gained common benefit through the action of one on the other… And this is natural; for a person is born in a society of people, develops rational concepts through people; the customs of life, the moods of feelings, the pursuits of desires, in a word, he takes everything as a model for his own kind. And since the life of people consists in the closest correlation and powerful influence of one on another, then whoever lives among such people accustoms them to customs, actions, and habits. So the cold can warm up, the dull can sharpen, the lazy can be stirred to activity by the living participation of a person similar to himself. The spirit of the spirit can transmit itself, can have a beneficial effect on one another: attract him to prayer, to attention, encourage him in despondency, turn him away from vice and excite him to holy activity, and therefore, helping one another, he can become more pious, more mobile and more pleasing to God. one for another, ask for brotherly prayers!

            And from this we can see that God is not satisfied with many requests and petitions (as is the case with the powerful of the earth), but the very spirit and power of prayer purifies and excites the soul for which prayer is being prayed, and presents it as capable of union with God.

            If such is the fruitful mutual prayer of those who live on earth, then it goes without saying that prayer for those who have passed away is just as mutually beneficial due to the closest connection between the upper world and the lower; it can also involve in communion the souls of the Church Militant, with the souls of the Church Triumphant; or, what is the same, with those who have departed.

            Although everything I have said is a psychological judgment; but having opened the Holy Scripture, we will be convinced of the truth of it!.. 1) Jesus Christ says to the Apostle Peter: “Pray for you, that your faith may not fail.” Here the power of Christ’s prayer strengthens Peter’s spirit and encourages him in the temptation against faith. 2) When the Apostle Peter was in prison: prayer was diligently offered in the church for him. Here the help of brotherly prayer in the sorrowful circumstances of life is revealed… 3) But the clearest commandment about prayer for our neighbors is expressed by the holy Apostle James as follows: “confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. For the effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” Here the above-mentioned psychological conclusion is clearly confirmed…

            And what can we say about the example of the Apostle Paul, given to us as a model of prayer for one another? One writer notes that this example of St. Apostle Paul should teach us how necessary mutual prayer for one another is, when even this holy and strong spiritual ascetic recognizes for himself the need for this spiritual prayer help. In his epistle to the Hebrews, he expresses his request thus: pray for us, for we hope, as an imam of a good conscience in all those who want to live well. Listening to this, how foolish would it be to rely only on one’s own prayers and successes, when, guided by humility, only a blessed holy man asks to combine the prayer of his neighbors (the Jews) with his own? And therefore, with what humility, simplicity and union of love, should we not reject, not despise the prayer help of even the most powerful of believers, when the insightful spirit of the Apostle Paul did not use discernment in this case; but he asked for common prayer from all, knowing that the power of God is made perfect in weakness; therefore, it can sometimes happen in weak, perhaps prayerful, people.

            Having been convinced by this example, let us also note that praying for one another supports the union of Christian love commanded by God, testifies to the humility and spirit of the one who prays, and this ignites mutual prayer.

      PROFESSOR.  – Your analysis and arguments are excellent and precise, but it would be interesting to hear from you the very method and form of prayer for one’s neighbors, because I think that if the fruitfulness and involvement of prayer depends on living participation in one’s neighbors, and mainly on the constant influence of the praying spirit on the spirit that needs supplication, then would not supplication be placing oneself in the invisible presence of God, and pouring out one’s soul before God in its own need? And if one only once or twice a day brings one’s neighbor to remembrance, participating in him and asking him for God’s help; will this be enough to involve and strengthen the soul of the one for whom one prays? In short: one wants to know in what way or how to pray for one’s neighbors?

      Monk.  – Prayer for whatever it may be, which is offered to God, should not, and cannot, lead away from placing oneself before God: since if it is poured out to God, then it is, of course, in His presence… Regarding the manner of praying for one’s neighbors, it should be noted that the power of this prayer lies in sincere Christian participation. Therefore, when mentioning him (the neighbor) or at the hour appointed for this, one should raise one’s mental gaze to God and offer a prayer in the following form: Merciful Lord! May Your will be done, which desires all to be saved and to come to the understanding of the truth: save and have mercy on Your servant (such). Accept this desire of mine as a cry of love commanded by You.

            Usually these words are repeated in time with the movements of the soul or when one happens to go through the rosary – with this prayer. I have learned from experience how beneficial such a prayer has on the one for whom it is said.

      PROFESSOR. –  The instructive conversation and bright thoughts gleaned from your views and considerations oblige me to keep them in an unforgettable memory, and to have respect and gratitude for all of you in my grateful heart…

      BUILDER AND PROFESSOR. –  So, the time for our departure has come; we earnestly ask for your prayers for our farewell and companionship!

            – May the God of peace, who brought back from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the eternal covenant, our Lord Jesus Christ, make you ready in every deed to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever.

Amen.