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      I have a question to ask you, I thought, Can anyone explain this to me? I will go to the churches where good preachers are celebrated; maybe I can find something to address in my situation there. And I went. I listened to many good sermons on prayer. But they all spoke about prayer in general: what prayer is, how one must pray, what the fruits of prayer are; but no one spoke about how to succeed in prayer. There were sermons about praying in the Spirit and about unceasing prayer; but no one specified how to achieve such a prayer. So, although I listened to the sermons and did not understand how to constantly pray, I no longer listened to public sermons but sought, with God’s help, a knowledgeable and experienced conversationalist who would explain to me about unceasing prayer, my ceaseless desire for this knowledge.

          Holy Father! – I said.

Here you see, Father, about a year ago, how I, being near the kitchen, heard in the Apostle such an instruction: “Continue to pray.” Not understanding this, I began to read the Bible. And there too, in many places, I found the command of God that one should pray continuously, always, at any time, in any place, not only during all activities: not only when not sleeping, but even in one’s sleep. I sleep, and my heart watches over. This greatly surprised me, and I could not understand how it could be done and what methods were available for it; a strong desire and curiosity arose in me; and day and night I could not reason it out. That is why I began to go to churches, to listen to sermons on prayer; but no matter how many I listened to, I did not receive any instructions on how to pray continuously; everything was only about preparing for prayer or its fruits, and so on, without teaching how to pray continuously and what such prayer means. I often read the Bible and checked what I had heard; but in doing so, I did not find the knowledge I wanted. And so I remained in surprise and trouble.

The Elder crossed himself and began to speak: Thank God, beloved brother, for this discovery, in you there is an irresistible craving for the knowledge of unceasing interior prayer. Know that in this title is the God, and be at peace, assured that up to this time you have been tested for the agreement of your will to the voice of God, and it has been understood that heavenly light, unceasing interior prayer, is not attained by the wisdom of this world, nor by outward curiosity, but on the contrary: by the simplicity of the heart. Therefore, it is by no means strange that you could not hear about the essential matter of prayer and could not learn the doctrine of how to achieve its unceasing action. And the truth is that although many preach about prayer, and there are many sayings of various writers about it, nevertheless, since all their reasoning is based mostly on speculation, on the reasoning of the natural mind, and not on active experience, then they teach more about the belonging of prayer than about its essence. One perfectly reasons about the necessity of prayer; another — about its power and beneficence; and a third about the means to perfection in prayer, that is, about the fact that for prayer, diligence, attention, warmth of heart, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, etc. are required. And what is prayer? and how can one learn to pray? These, though the first and the most necessary questions, it is very rarely possible to find detailed explanations of in the preachers of our time; therefore, they are more complex for understanding all the above-mentioned reasoning of theirs and require occult guidance, and not merely schoolbook learning. What is more, it is a pity that frivolous and instinctive wisdom forces one to measure the divine by the human standard. Many people think about the business of prayer in a completely distorted way, thinking that preparatory means and labors give birth to prayer, and not prayer generates labors and all virtues. In this case, they wrongly take the fruits or consequences of prayer for the means or methods to it, and thus they diminish the power of prayer. And this is quite unpleasant to sacred scripture: for the Apostle Paul gives instructions about prayer in the following words: I pray earnestly, first of all, to create prayers .

            In this conversation, we approached the desert very softly. To not miss this wise old man, but rather to get permission for my wish, I hastened to tell him: “Please, honorable father, explain to me what is meant by continuous inner prayer, and how to learn it: I see that you know it in detail and with experience.”

            The old man accepted my request with love and called me to himself: “Now come to me, I will give you the Book of the Holy Fathers, from which you can clearly and in detail understand and learn prayer with the help of God. We entered the cell, and the old man began to say the following: continual interior Jesus prayer is a continual, never-ending invocation of the Divine name of Jesus Christ through the lips, mind, and heart, with the vision of his constant presence, and the request for his forgiveness, in all occupations and at every occupation. It is manifested in these words: “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” And if someone practices this invocation, he will experience great joy, and the need to constantly perform this prayer will become such that he will no longer be able to do without it, and it will flow from him by itself.”

            Now do you understand what is constant prayer? – Very well, my father! Teach me how to achieve it! – I exclaimed with joy.

Reading The Book of Charity and spiritual progress

How to learn prayer, we will read about in this book. This book is called Charity. It contains a complete and detailed teaching on continual interior prayer, set out by twenty-nine holy fathers, and it is so high and useful that it is considered the principal and foremost guide in contemplative spiritual life, as the Holy Father Nicetas teaches, “without toil it leads to salvation.”

            – Is it superior and more holy than the Bible? – I asked.

– No, it is not superior and is not more holy than the Bible, but it contains an explanation of what is hidden in the Bible, and is not understandable to our short-sighted reason. I present you an example. The sun is the greatest, most brilliant and wonderful light. But you cannot look at it with an ordinary, unaided eye. A certain artificial glass, though millions of times smaller and dimmer, is needed through which you can contemplate this wonderful king of lights, admire its flaming rays, and take in its splendor.

Then he instructed me how to learn continuous interior prayer. – The elder opened The Loving of God, found guidance from the Holy Simeon the New Theologian and began: “Sit silently and alone, bow your head, shut your eyes; breathe peacefully, use your imagination to look within your heart, pull your mind away from your head and into your heart. When breathing, say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Expel thoughts, have patient endurance, and repeat this exercise more often.”

Then the elder explained all this to me, showed me an example, and we read more from The Loving of God by St. Gregory the Sinaite and St. Calist and Ignatius. The elder explained everything we had read in The Loving of God, and he also spoke to me. I listened with enthusiasm, absorbed everything, and tried to remember as much as possible. In this way we spent the whole night awake and then went to morning prayer.

        The elder blessed me as he sent me away and asked me to go to him with sincere confession and revelation, because it is difficult and ineffective to take up interior ascetical practice on one’s own without the help and instruction of a trustworthy guide.

       While I was in church, I felt the flame of doing my best to study continuous interior prayer. I surrounded myself with the desire to learn with all my being. I asked God to help me with it. Then I thought how I would go to the elder’s house for his advice and to open up to him with my feelings. Besides, I could not stay at the hotel longer than three days; I had no place to live close to the desert. Once I heard a rumour that there was a village about four versts away. I set out to look for a place there, and to my joy God showed me an appropriate place. I took a job in that village to guard a garden for the entire summer so that I could live in a hut right on that garden alone. Praise be to God! – I found a place of peace and solitude. And so I began to live and study the interior prayer prescribed to me, going to the elder’s house as well.

       For a week I diligently studied the method I had been instructed in, when alone in the garden. At first, it seemed to be going well, but then I could feel a heavy burden, a feeling of ease, boredom, falling asleep, and various thoughts suddenly came to mind. I felt sad and went to the elder and told him about my state. He was so kind when he met me, that he began to say: my dear brother, this is the warfare of the world of darkness against thee, and for it, nothing is more terrible than a heartfelt prayer. Therefore, it tries its best to hinder my studies on this path, and to distract me. But the enemy acts not otherwise than with the help and permission of God, as far as it is necessary for us. It is clear that you still need to pass a test of humility, and therefore it is too early for you to set out briskly for the highest point of the heart and fall into spiritual self-interest.

Here I will read to you about this example of instruction from The Book of Virtue. The elder found the teachings of the monk Nicholas and began reading: “If after working a little you cannot enter the heart country as you have been informed, then do what I tell you, and with the help of God you will find what you seek. You know that the faculty of speech lies within each person in the throat. if you want), and let it be spoken continuously: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!”The next day, without having seen me, the Elder came to visit me himself. I explained my situation to him. He listened and said: “Now that you have become accustomed to prayer, watch out to maintain and strengthen this habit, do not waste a moment of time. And with God’s help, resolve to do not a dozen thousand prayers a day in vain; stick to solitude, get up early and go to bed late, and come to me for advice every two weeks.”

            Then I went to the elder for an inspiration and described it to him in detail. He listened, and began to talk: Praise be to God that his hunting and sense of prayer have become natural, just like a machine that, having been given a boost or a push to its main wheel, continues to move for a long time on its own; in order to continue its movement, it is necessary to lubricate and push the wheel. Do you see how wonderful abilities God has bestowed on even the sensual nature of man, which can be felt even outside of grace and in an unrefined sensual state, in a sinful soul, as you have already experienced? How wonderful, how wonderful, and how enjoyable it is when the Lord graciously opens the gift of spontaneous spiritual prayer and purifies the soul from passions! This state is not imaginary, and the revelation of this prayerful secret is a foretaste of the sweetness of the heavenly land. This will please those who seek the Lord in the simplicity of a loving heart! Now I allow you: do the prayer as much as you like, spend as much time as possible in prayer, and without hesitation call on the name of Jesus Christ with humility, entrusting yourself to God’s will and expecting His help: I believe that He will not abandon you and will guide your path.

            Having accepted this instruction, I spent the summer in constant silent prayer to Jesus, and I was at peace. In my dreams, I often dreamed that I was praying. And on the day when I happened to meet someone, all those people appeared to me to be as dear as family members, even though I was not engaged in any conversation with them. My thoughts completely subsided, and I did not think about anything except prayer, to which my mind began to incline, and my heart spontaneously began to feel warmth and some pleasantness. When it happened to go to church, the long barren service seemed short to me, and it was no longer tiring for my strength, as before. My secluded cell appeared to me as a wonderful temple, and I did not know how to thank God for sending such a pitying and wise elder and mentor to me, a sinful and wretched sinner.

The Death of the Elder and the Beginning of an Independent Path

            But I did not enjoy the instructions of my loving and wise elder for long; at the end of summer, he died. I, having thanked him with tears for his fatherly teaching of me, the sinner, asked for his blessing, in the form of a prayer chotki, which he had always prayed with. So I was left alone. Finally, summer passed, and the town was cleared. I had nowhere to live. The man dismissed me, gave me two zelkoveys for the watch, and loaded a bag of barley bran for the journey, and I again set out to wander through various places; but I no longer walked as I used to, in need; the calling of the name of Jesus Christ cheered me on the way, and all people became kinder to me, it seemed as if they all came to love me.

Once I began to think about where to spend the money I had saved for the city and what to use it for? E! Be careful! There is no elder to teach me now; I’ll buy the book Dobrotolyubstvo, and I’ll study inner prayer on its basis. I made the Sign of the Cross and went with my prayer. I reached a provincial town and began to ask for the book Dobrotolyubstvo by the wayside; I found one copy, but they wanted three streltsy, and there were only two in my possession; I bargained, bargained, but the merchant didn’t give in at all; finally he said: “Go to this church, ask the church elder; he has an old copy of this book, maybe he’ll give it to you for two streltsy.” I went and did indeed buy the book Dobrotolyubstvo for two streltsy, all torn and old; I was happy. I patched it with a cloth, and put it in my bag with my Bible.

            So now I go like this, constantly making the Lord’s Prayer, which is dear to me and sweeter than anything else in the world. I sometimes walk for seventy metres or more a day, and I don’t feel like I’m walking; I only feel like I’m making the prayer. When a strong wind blows, I begin to praise the Lord vociferously, and I soon warm up. If I feel hungry, I more often invoke the name of Jesus Christ and forget that I had wanted to eat. When I get sick, my back and legs begin to ache, I begin to listen to the prayer, and I don’t feel the pain. When someone offends me, I only remember how I was enjoying the Lord’s Prayer; immediately the offence and anger pass, and I forget everything. If I go mad, then I don’t have anything to worry about, nothing has been bothering me, I’ve never looked at anything obsessively, and I’ve been alone; I just usually want to continuously make the prayer, and when I focus on it, I have a great time. God knows what happens to me. Usually, this is sensual, or, as the late elder said, it’s natural and artificial, done by habit; but I don’t dare to begin to study and master the spiritual prayer within my heart yet, through my unworthiness and stupidity. I’m waiting for God’s moment, hoping that the late elder will pray for me. So, although I haven’t gained continuous self-manifesting spiritual prayer in my heart yet, thank God, I now clearly understand what the saying meant, which I heard in the Apostle:

                            “Pray without ceasing.”

Story of a friend

Journey through Siberia and the story of the captain

I wandered for a long time in different places with the accompanying prayer of my Jesus, which encouraged and comforted me on all roads, at all meetings and in all situations. Finally, I felt that it would be better to settle in one place, both for convenient solitude and for studying The Love of Goodness, which, although I read it little by little, when I stopped for the night, or during the day’s rest; but there was a strong desire to immerse myself in it and faithfully draw from it the true instruction for the salvation of the soul through heart prayer. But, in accordance with my desire, I could not find a place to work permanently due to my inability to perform with my left hand since I was a child; and therefore, being unable to have a permanent shelter, I went to the land of Siberia, to Saint Innocent of Irkutsk, with the intention of walking through its forests and steppes in silence, so that I could engage in prayer and reading more conveniently. So I went, and prayed continually. After a short time, I felt that prayer began to enter my heart somehow, that is, the heart, with its usual beating, began to speak its prayerful words for each beat, for example: 1) Lord, 2) Jesus, 3) Christ, and so on. I stopped saying prayers with my lips, and began to listen carefully to what the heart is saying; remembering how the deceased old man explained to me how pleasant it was. Then I began to feel a subtle pain in my heart, and in my thoughts a love for Jesus Christ that was such that if I saw Him I would have thrown myself at His feet and not let go of them, sweetly caressing them with my hands, to tears, but because He gives such joy about his name to us, graciously.

Then a certain beneficial warmth began to appear in my heart, and this warmth extended throughout the chest. This turned me especially to a diligent study of The Love of Goodness, in order to trust my feelings and study further practices of inner heart prayer; because without this confidence I was afraid of falling into flattery, or accepting natural actions as graces, and not being fooled by a quick acquisition of prayer, as I heard from the deceased old man. And so I continued to travel more at night, and spent most of the days reading The Love of Goodness, sitting in a forest under the trees. Ah, how much new, how much wise and hitherto unknown, was revealed to me by reading! Engaging in it, I enjoyed such a delight that I could not and did not know before. Although some places were incomprehensible when I read them with my mind, the consequences arising from heart prayer explained my misunderstanding; besides, I sometimes saw in a dream my deceased old father, who explained many things to me, and increasingly inclined my foolish soul to humility. For two summer months I enjoyed it so much. I traveled more through forests and paths: if I came to a village, I would ask for a bag of bread, a handful of salt, and a bucket of water, and again I would walk a hundred versts.

Since the lapses in my spiritual life or the need for guidance more experienced in spiritual matters, after the end of summer, temptations began to present themselves. Namely, I went on a long road in the evening, two men who looked like soldiers started calling on me, demanding money. When I said I had no money, they did not believe me and shouted: “You are lying! Wanderers make a lot of money!” One of them said: “It is useless to talk to him,” and hit me on the head with a stick so that I fell unconscious for a while. I do not know how long I lay there, but when I awoke, I saw that I was lying next to the road, unconscious and my bag was gone. Thank God, they did not take my passport, which was in my old hat, in case I needed proof immediately. After getting up, I wept bitterly, not so much from the headache as from the fact that they had taken my books, the Bible, and The Paternal Love Prayer, which were in my bag. I did not stop crying day or night, mourning my loss. Where is now my Bible, which I read as a child and always carried with me? Where is my Paternal Love Prayer, from which I gleaned teachings and comfort now? I grew so aching for the loss of my spiritual sustenance, the first and the last treasure in my life, without having yet satisfied myself with it. Better to be killed, as opposed to living without this spiritual nourishment! I can hardly ever get it back now!

          For two days I almost could not move my legs because of this grief, and on the third day, exhausted, I fell under some bushes and fell asleep. I went to the desert in a vision, where I was lamenting my misery in the cell of my old hermit. The hermit, comforting me, began to talk: It is a lesson for you in your unconditional detachment from earthly things, so that your heart might comfortably climb to heaven. This was allowed to you for you not to fall, but for the sake of spiritual gluttony.

 Everyone wants to be saved. But therefore, take heart and believe that The Lord will make opportunities and abundance with temptation. And you will soon experience consolation many more times than you are now grieving. At these words, I woke up, felt my strength restored, and in my heart it was like a dawn and an appeasement. May God’s will be done, I said, crossed myself, and set off. Prayer began to act in my heart just as before, and I traveled peacefully for three days.

            Suddenly, I came across a convoy of carts. When I compared them to each other, I saw two people who had robbed me, and since they were on the edge of the others, I fell down at their feet and asked them persuasively to tell me where my books were. At first, they did not pay any attention to me, and then one of them began to say: if you give us something, we will tell you where your books are. Give us the whole thing. I assured them that I would give it, no doubt give it, even if I have to go to the ends of the earth for Christ’s sake; here, if you want, take my passport as security. They said that my books were being transported in a convoy, together with other stolen items. How can I get them? Ask the captain who is escorting us. I ran to the captain and explained everything in detail. Incidentally, he asked me: do you know how to read the Bible? Not only can I read it, I replied, but I can also write: you will see the name written on the Bible, that it is mine; and my passport also states the same name and surname. The captain began to say: These are scout soldiers, they were living in a dugout and robbed many people. They were caught the day before yesterday by a clever trench-digger, whom they wanted to cheat out of a trident. Apparently, I can give you your books when they are here; but come with us for the night; look, not far, four versts, or do not stop the stage and the convoy for you. I was happy to ride next to the captain’s mount, and talked to him. I saw that he was a good and honest man, and not young. He asked me who I was, where I was going, and where I was from. I answered everything truthfully; and so we reached the overnight rest house. When he found my books, he gave them to me, and said: where do you have to go at night now, stay at my ante-room. I remained.

            After receiving the books, I was so happy that I did not know how to thank God; I pressed the books to my chest and held them until my hands were numb. Tears flowed from my eyes because of joy, and my heart was beating with delight!

            The captain, looking at me, asked: It seems that you love to read the Bible. I could not answer him with joy, but only wept. He continued: I myself, brother, carefully read the Gospel every day. At the same time, he unfastened his uniform and took out a small Gospel printed in Kiev, all delicately adorned with silver. Sit down, let me tell you what led me to this. And please give us dinner!

And we sat down at the table, and the captain began to tell us: From a young age I served in the army, not in the garrison, and I knew the army and enjoyed the favor of my superiors, as a competent ensign. But I was still young, and my friends were young too; I was unfortunately addicted to drinking, and in the end I fell ill with a drinking habit; when I was sober, I was a competent officer, but when I started smoking, I spent six weeks in bed. They endured me for a long time, and finally, because of the harshness of my superior, they made me a sergeant for three years, with a transfer to the garrison; and if I did not correct myself and give up drinking, they threatened me with the most severe punishment. In this wretched state, I tried all I could to restrain myself, and no matter how I tried to cure myself, I could not get rid of my addiction, and that is why they wanted to transfer me to the arrest platoons. Hearing this, I did not know what to do.I listened to this, and I said to him: How can I help your Gospel, when no effort on my part, no medical knowledge, could keep me in life? I said this because I had never read the Gospels. Do not say this, the monk protested, I assure you that there will be benefit. The next day the monk brought me this Gospel. I opened it, looked at it, read it, and said: I will not take it; there is nothing you will not understand; and I am not used to reading the seal of the church. The monk continued to persuade me that the words of the Gospel have a gracious power, for it contains what God said Himself. It makes no difference if you do not understand, just read carefully. A holy man once said that even the same temple in which the Gospel is kept frightens the demons of drunkenness and trembles, for the passion of drunkenness inevitably moves the demons to action. I do not remember – giving something to that monk, taking the Gospel from him, and putting it in the chest with my other things and forgetting about it. After some time it came time for me to ask forgiveness for sin, and death came, and I hurriedly opened the chest to get money and ran to the inn. The first thing I saw was the Gospel, and I quickly remembered everything the monk had told me, opened it and began to read the first chapter of Matthew. After reading it to the end, I did not understand anything; and I remembered that the monk had said: there is no need to understand anything, just read carefully. Give me, I thought, let me read the second chapter; as soon as I began it, the bell rang in the barracks: to the beds. So I could not leave the gate; and so I stayed.Listen, ever since I was cured of drink, I have made a vow to read the Gospels daily, for the whole of my life, one Gospel per day; despite any obstacles. And now I do this. If I am very busy at work and very tired, I lie down in the evening and force my wife or my son to read the whole Gospel for me. I do this rule untiringly. In gratitude and for God’s glory, I have made this Gospel completely in pure silver, and I always wear it on my chest.

      After walking a few hours, I suddenly remembered that I had promised the soldiers a robe that I had unexpectedly now. Should I give it to them or not? One thought told me: they beat you and robbed you, but you can’t let them use it for their own benefit because they are under arrest. Another thought imagined something else: remember that the Bible says: ”   If your enemy wants to escape, drown him. . . Having made sure, I returned, and just as I approached the stage, they all pulled out the wells to drive them to the next station; I hurried up, put the robe I had once in my hands, and said: run and pray; Jesus Christ is merciful, He will not abandon you! And with that, I turned away from them and went the other way on my way.

We walked about 50 paces down the main road, and I thought it would be better for me to move to a shortcut for greater solitude and convenient reading. For a long time I walked through the woods, and occasionally there were small villages. Sometimes I spent the whole day in the woods, diligently reading Dobrotolyubie; I gained a lot of wonderful understanding from it. My heart was burning to unite with God through inner prayer, which I tried to learn, under the guidance and supervision of Dobrotolyubie; and along with this, I was sad because I could not find a refuge where I could quietly devote myself to reading.

At this time, I was also reading my Bible and felt that I was beginning to understand it more clearly than before, when a great deal seemed incomprehensible to me, and I often found myself surprised. The holy fathers are rightly saying that Dobrotolyubie is the key to unlocking the mysteries of the Holy Scripture. Under its guidance, I began to understand the secret meaning of the Word of God; I began to see what an inner, secret heart man is, what true prayer is, what worship is in spirit, what the kingdom is within us, what the unutterable appeal of the Holy Spirit is, what it is to be in me, what it is to give me your heart, what it means to be clothed in Christ, what it means to seal the Spirit in our hearts: Father and so on. In praying with my heart as I did, everything around me seemed to me in a wonderful state: trees, grass, birds, earth, air, light, everything seemed to tell me that everything exists for man, showing God’s love for man, and everything praises God’s glory. And I understood from this what is called in Dobrotolyubie “wording of words of creation” and saw a way in which one can converse with God’s creatures.

Meeting with a forest guard in the deep woods

I wandered there for a long time. Finally, I came to such a deserted place that for three days I did not see a single village. My food had run out, and I was very worried about starving. When I began to pray in my heart, the despair left me, and I gave myself over to the will of God, and became happy and at ease. A few minutes passed by on the road that lay near a vast forest, and I saw a house dog running out of the forest. I called to it and it came up next to me and began licking my feet. I rejoiced and thought to myself: “Here is God’s grace! There must be a flock grazing in this forest, and there must certainly be a shepherd or a hunter out hunting; either way, I can at least beg for some bread, because I have not eaten for two days, or I can ask where a village is nearby.” When the dog returned to me and saw that I had nothing to give her, she again ran into the forest along the narrow path by which she had come out onto the road. I followed her. After walking about a couple hundred steps, I noticed that the dog had gone into a cave and was barking from it. 

There, through a thick tree, a man, lean and pale, of middle age, came out. He asked me how I had come here. I asked him what he was doing here. We began talking amicably. The man invited me to his cabin and told me that he was a forest ranger and guarded the forest that had been sold for logging. He offered me bread and salt and started talking. “I envy you,” I said, “that you can live so comfortably alone among people, unlike me, who wander from place to place and am starving among all kinds of people.” If there are hunters, he said, then you can probably live here too, not far from an old hut from the former guard. It has collapsed, but in the summer you can still live there. You have a passport. There will be bread for us from our village; they bring it every week, and there’s a stream that never runs dry. I myself, brother, have been eating only one loaf of bread and drinking water for ten years, and I have never had anything more.

After hearing all this, I was so overjoyed that I almost fell at his feet. I didn’t know how to thank God for this kind grace. I had been longing for and wishing for this, and now, unexpectedly, I receive it. There are still more than four months until the depths of autumn, and therefore I can use this time to take advantage of the silence and peace that are suitable for attentive reading of The Love of Goodness in order to learn and achieve unceasing prayer in my heart. Therefore, I was happy to stay in the cabin that was indicated to me. We talked even more with this humble brother; he began to tell me about his life and his thoughts. 

He used to say, I was not the last man in my village, I had a skill, I painted creels, and I dyed the paint blue, and I lived in plenty, though not without sin: I cheated a lot in trade, I made a false promise; I scolded the matёk, I drank and fought. There was an old man in our village who had an ancient, old book about the terrible judgment. He used to go to the church and read, and they gave him money for it; he came to me too. Sometimes I would give him ten kopecks, and up to half a ruble. That’s how I used to listen, sitting at work, and he read about the torments we would suffer in hell, how the living would change, and the dead would rise, how God would come to judge, how the angels would sound trumpets, and what fire, pitch, and worms would eat the sinners. One time when I was listening to this, I got scared, I thought: I can’t avoid the torments! I will devote my soul to saving it, maybe I will be saved from my sins. I thought about it and left my craft, sold the house, and being alone, I went to work in the mines to earn bread, clothes, and wax candles for confession day.

Listening to this, I regretted him and thought to myself: Some scholars and wise men are said to be free-thinkers and do not believe in anything, and our brothers – simple peasants who are planning to apostatize! Apparently, the dark world is allowed to have access to everyone, and it may attack the simple, and it is more convenient. To the extent possible, we must try and strengthen ourselves against the enemy of the soul with the Word of God. Therefore, in order to help and support the faith in this brother as much as possible, I took the book Dobrotolubye, found the chapter of St. Isaac the Syrian, read it and began to explain to him that abstaining from sins, fearing torment, is not successful and fruitless, and it is not possible for the soul to be freed from imaginary sins, nor to be saved from thoughts of sin. Therefore, all this is gained by inner prayer, and not only by fearing the terrible torments, but also by the desire for the kingdom of heaven, if someone begins to make saving feats, then the Holy Fathers call this the work of a hired servant. They say that fear of torments is a slave’s path, and desire for reward in the kingdom is a hired servant’s path. And God wants us to go by the path of sonship, that is, by loving and striving to do well and enjoy the saving union with Him in the heart and soul.

My God! What joy, peace and delight I experienced as soon as I entered this cave, or rather, the tomb; it seemed to me a magnificent royal palace, full of all kinds of pleasure and amusement. With joyful tears I thanked God, and I reflected: “Now, in such peace and silence, I must attentively take up my business and ask the Lord for enlightenment.” So I began, first, to read the Book of Love, in order, from beginning to end, with great attention. I read everything within little time, and saw how much wisdom, sanctity, and depth it contained. But as it is written about many different subjects, and with various instructions of the Holy Fathers, I could not understand everything and put it all together, especially what I wanted to learn about interior prayer, in order to get an instruction on how to study continuous automatic prayer in the heart. And this is what I wanted, according to the commandment of God through the Apostle: Desire the great gifts and also: Do not extinguish the Spirit . My understanding is not enough, my mind does not have the concepts, or there is no one to explain it. Now I will begin to bother the Lord with prayer; Maybe the Lord will enlighten me somehow. After this, I did nothing for the whole day except be in constant prayer, without stopping for a moment; my thoughts calmed down and I fell asleep: that’s when I dreamt of seeing myself in the cell of my late teacher, and he was explaining the Book of Love, saying: “This holy book is full of great wisdom. It is a mysterious treasure of understanding God’s secret intentions. It is not accessible to everyone, in all places; however, as far as each person understands, it contains such instructions, for the wise – wise, for the simple – simple. Therefore, you, worshippers, should read it in the following order:

1) Firstly, read the book Nikyfor of asceticism (in 2 parts); then 2) the book of Gregory Sinai, everything except the short chapters; 3) Saint Symeon the New Theologian about three images of prayer and the word about faith; and finally 4) the book of Kallist and Ignatiy. These fathers contain a complete teaching and doctrine about the inner prayer of the heart, which is understandable to everyone.

And if you wish to see a more understandable instruction about prayer, then find at 4 o’clock in the evening an image of prayer by the holy patriarch Kallist of Constantinople. I, as if holding in my hands my Dobrotolyubie, began to search for the instruction spoken, but I could not find it soon. The old man himself, turning over several pages, said: Here it is! I will remind to you, and by picking up the coal from the ground, he emphasized on the page of the book opposite the found article. Everything that the old man said, I listened attentively and tried to remember it as accurately and in as much detail as possible.

I woke up, and since it was still dark, I lay down and repeated in my mind everything I had seen in my dream and what the old man had told me. Finally, I began to think: God knows whether the soul of the deceased old man is mine or whether my thoughts are so arranged, because I often think a lot about Dobrotolyubie and about the old man. With this astonishment, I got up, it was beginning to get light. And what? I see on the stone that was instead of the table in my pit, folded Dobrotolyubie in the same place that the old man had indicated to me, and marked with charcoal, exactly as I had seen in my dream, even the charcoal itself lay next to the book. This surprised me, because I clearly remember that in the evening the book was not there; it was folded in my head, and I also know well that earlier there was no note at the indicated place. This case confirmed me in the truth of the dream and in the holiness of the eternal memory of my old man. That is how I began to read Dobrotolyubie, in the same order that the old man had indicated to me. I read once, I read the same thing again, and this reading kindled in my heart my desire and diligence to test everything read in practice. Everything became clear and understandable to me, what inner prayer is, what means are necessary to achieve it, and what is the result of it, and how it pleases the soul and the heart, and how to recognize this pleasure, whether it is from God, or from a person, or from beauty.

Thus, first of all, I began to search for the heart place, following the instructions of Saint Simeon the New Theologian. By closing my eyes, I looked with my mind, that is, with imagination in the heart, wishing to imagine how it is in the left half of my chest, and I listened carefully to its beating. Initially, I engaged in this for half an hour several times a day; at first, I noticed nothing but darkness; then, soon a heart began to appear and to indicate movement within it; later, I began to enter and exit the Lord’s prayer together with the breath into the heart, following the instructions of St. Gregory of Sinai, Calistus, and Ignatius, that is, inhaling and exhaling the air into the heart, with spiritual contemplation, I imagined and said: “Lord Jesus Christ, and with exhaling the air from me: have mercy.” At first, I engaged in this for an hour or two, and the longer I did so, the more frequently I could do it, and eventually I spent almost the entire day in this occupation. When fatigue or laziness or doubts arose, I immediately began to read in the book ofThe Benefitsofthe Heartthose passages that instruct about heart exertions, and again it was a search and a dedication to prayer. After three weeks, I began to feel pain in the heart, then a pleasant warmth in it, consolation, and peace. This encouraged and motivated me to become more and more diligent with prayer, so that all my thoughts were occupied with it, and I felt a great joy. Ever since, I began to feel different weather in the heart and in my mind. At times it seemed as if there were warmth, freedom, and joy in the heart, in which I completely changed and was overcome by enthusiasm. At times there was fervent love for Jesus Christ and for all of God’s creatures. At times, tears filled with gratitude to the Lord, who was blessing this sinful and wretched sinner. At times, my earlier foolish concept became so clear to me that I easily understood and reflected on what I previously could not even imagine. At times, a sweet warmth filled my whole being, and I felt God’s presence everywhere with touching delight. At times, I felt the greatest joy at the mention of the name of Jesus Christ and I realized what He meant when He said, “The Kingdom of God is within you.”Months before I had spent alone in this devotional practice and enjoyed the feelings I had experienced, I had become so accustomed to heartfelt prayer that I practiced it continuously, and finally felt that prayer was produced and uttered in my mind and heart, not in my mind; but even in my sleep it worked in the same way and was not interrupted by anything I did. My soul thanked God and my heart was in perpetual joy. It was time to cut down the forest, the people began to gather, and I had to leave my silent home. After thanking the forestry official, I prayed, kissed the piece of land on which God had bestowed upon me His grace, put my bag with books on and went. I wandered about for a long time until I reached Irkutsk. Heartfelt, self-acting prayer was a consolation and consolation on the whole way, at all meetings, it never ceased to please me, though to different degrees, wherever I was, whatever I did, whatever I was doing, it never interfered with anything and was never diminished by anything. If I work, and prayer is in my heart and the work goes faster; if I listen carefully or read, and prayer never ceases, and I feel both this and that at the same time, as if I were split into two or had two souls in my one body. My God! what a mysterious person!

,

=       The Lord gave thanks for his deeds: he created all wisdom.

       Many wonderful things and events happened on my journey. If I were to tell everyone about them, I could take a day and not finish. But here is an example: one winter evening I was walking through a village to spend the night. It was already about two miles away. Suddenly a big wolf attacked and ran at me. I had old woollen bags in my hands (I always carried them with me). So I hit the wolf with those bags. And what? The handles came out of my hands and somehow got caught directly behind the wolf’s neck, and the wolf rushed away from me and, jumping over a row of willow bushes, got tangled in the bushes with its hind legs, and the handles got caught on a dry tree stump, and it started to fight; but it was difficult for it to free itself because the handles crammed its neck. I made a sign of the cross in faith and went with the intention to free the wolf; moreover, I was thinking that if it tore the handles apart and fled with them, then my precious bags would be lost. As soon as I approached and took hold of the handles, actually the wolf tore them apart and fled without a trace. So I, thanking God and remembering my blessed old man, reached the village safely; came to the innkeeper’s courtyard and asked to spend the night. I went into the house. In the front room, two people were sitting at the table, one an old man, the other a fat middle-aged man, who seemed not ordinary. They were drinking tea. I asked the man who was sitting on their horse who they were. He told me that the old man was the headmaster of the people’s school, and the other was a civil court clerk. Both were noble. I was carrying them to the market, about 20 versti from here. After sitting for a while, I asked the woman for a needle and thread, went up to the candle, and began to sew my torn bags together. The clerk looked at it and said, “Evidently you made the sign of the cross so well that you tore the bags.” I told them all about how things had happened and how precious those bags were to me. The clerk laughed again and said, “There are miracles among you religious people! What is there in that? Is it really so that wolves pray? He said, laughing. “I will tell you everything in detail about how it really happened, and what these bags mean to me. The clerk again started to argue with him: don’t you realize, good man? You don’t understand the scientific part…” I began to talk to the master: “Don’t argue so! You don’t know that part of the teaching . . .” As I was listening to him, he said, “Look, you can see a physical manifestation of the nature of the soul and its feeling and spirituality . . .” “So what happens then?” the clerk asked. “Well, here you see: when the spirits are in the material form of a living person, they take on a tangible body made of air and light matter, and when they make their appearance, they return to the spheres from which they took their body. And since air has its elasticity, compressibility, and extensibility, the soul, dressed in it, can take on, act, and write (draw) whatever it wants.” “And what kind of book is this?” he asked, taking the book in his hands. “I’ve never seen it before . . .” The master turned the page and opened the words and teachings of Simeon the New Theologian. “Ah! It must be a theological book.” I’ve never seen it before . . .” This book, Father, is almost entirely devoted to teaching on inner heart prayer in the name of Jesus Christ; this is revealed here in all its details by twenty-nine holy fathers. “And I know inner prayer,” said the teacher. I bowed before him and asked him to tell me something about inner prayer. And here is what is written in the new testament, that man and all creatures are subject to the will of God, that in the natural course of things, everything sighs, strives, and desires to enter the freedom of God’s children; and this secret sighing of creatures and their innate longing for the soul is inner prayer. It has nothing to learn, it is in everyone and everything!.. And how can one find, reveal, and feel it in the heart, to become aware of it and to accept it with one’s will, to achieve it so that it can act clearly, give pleasure, enlighten, and save us? “I asked. “I don’t remember if it is written somewhere in theological treatises,” the teacher replied. “Well, here it is written,” I said . . . The teacher took a pencil and wrote down the name of the book The Desire for Goodness of Soul, and said, “I will definitely copy this book from Tobolsk and study it.” And that is how we parted.

Leaving, I thanked God for the conversation with the master, and I prayed the scribe that the Lord would arrange, at least once, to read him The Purity of Love, and teach him salvation.

A meeting with a pious priest

And it was again in the spring, when I was coming to a village, I had to stay at a priest. He was a good and lonely man: I spent three days with him. Having looked at me at this time, he began to speak to me: stay with me, I will pay you; I need a diligent person; you saw that we are building a new stone church instead of the old one made of wood. I cannot find a faithful person who would watch over the workers and sit in the chapel for collecting alms for the construction; and I see that you would be capable of this, and it would be good for you to live on the road; you would sit alone in the chapel and pray to God, there is also a shed for the guard – please stay, even if only for this time the church will be finished. Although I refused for a long time, I had to agree to the priest’s persuasive request. So I stayed until the summer until the autumn. So I began to live in the chapel. At first it was quiet and convenient for me to practice prayer, although a lot of people came to the chapel, especially on holy days, some to pray, some to nap, and others to take something from the collection plate. And as I sometimes read either the Bible or the Purity of Love, some of those who came, seeing this, started a conversation with me, others asked me to read them something.

            After some time I noticed that one peasant girl often went to the chapel and prayed to God for a long time. Listening to her murmuring, I found out that she was reading some strange prayers and others were completely distorted. I asked her: who taught her this? She said that her mother, who was a church woman, and her father was an atheist unbeliever. I felt sorry for all this, and I advised her to read the prayers correctly, according to the handing down of the holy church, and therefore I explained to her: Our Father, and the Virgin Mary. Rejoice. And, finally, I said: make these more often and more often. The Lord’s prayer is more profitable than all prayers to God, and you will receive the salvation of your soul through it. The girl took my advice to heart and began to do so simply. And what happened? Shortly after, she announced to me that she had become accustomed to the Lord’s prayer, that she felt an impulse of continuous attraction, that if it were possible, she could engage in it and when she prayed, she felt pleasure and, after it, joy and longing to pray again. I was delighted with this, and I advised her to continue the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

The hour was approaching the end of summer; many of those who came to the chapel began to come to me too, not only for reading and advice, but also for various life concerns, and even for recognition in finding losses and disappearances; apparently, others considered me a prophetess. Finally, the girl in question came to me with a problem, as to how to be. Her father intended to marry her off by force to a loveless man, also from Bezpopovtsi, and the man would marry her. How is this a legal marriage? sighs she; it doesn’t matter! I want to run away, wherever my eyes see. I told her: where will you run? Nowhere can you hide by hiding. Everywhere they will find you; but better pray even more to God, so that He, by His providence, will ruin your father’s intentions and preserve your soul from sin and heresy. This would be safer than your escape.

Time passed on, and it became unbearably noisy and tempting. Finally, summer ended, and I decided to leave the chapel and continue my path as before. I went to the priest and began to say to him: You, father, know my way of life. I need peace to pray, but here it is very distracting and harmful for me. I have done you a favour by living the summer: now let me go and bless me on a secluded path. The priest did not want to let me go, and he began to persuade me: what hinders you from praying here too? After all, you have no business here, except to sit in the chapel, and you have bread ready. You probably pray day and night there; live with God, brother! You are capable and useful for this place, you do not prattle about the little things that come, and you bring an income to the church of God and collect it, faithfully. This is better before God than your secluded prayer. What do you need on your own, it is more fun to pray with people. God created a human being not to know himself alone, but to help one another, to lead one another to salvation, whoever can. Look at the saints and the universal teachers, they worked and cared for the church day and night, and preached everywhere, and did not sit alone and hide from people.

            They were saints, said the priest. If saints were afraid to bring himself into contact with ordinary people, what should be done for a poor sinner? At last I said goodbye to this kind priest, and he took me out with love.

A story of a girl saved from death

            Ten versts later, I stopped to spend the night in a village. On this stop, I saw a desperately ill man and advised my companion to give him the Holy Sacraments. They agreed, and before morning they sent for a priest to their parish village. I stayed to wait to worship the Holy Mysteries and pray for this great sacrament. I went outside, sat on the porch, and waited to meet the priest. Suddenly, a girl unexpectedly ran out from the backyard and came to me.

            How did you get here? I asked.

            We were supposed to be a scapegoat to betray me as a renegade, and I went. While kneeling down to me, she began to say: Do us a favor and take me with you and take me to a women’s monastery; I do not want to get married, I will live in a monastery to say the Lord’s Prayer. They will listen to you there and accept me.

            Pity me, I said, where should I take you? I don’t know any female monasteries in this area, and where would I go with you when you don’t have a passport? Once that you won’t be accepted anywhere; and there is nowhere to hide at this time, they will deceive you, and send you away by postal order, and punish you for vagrancy. Go home and pray to God, and if you do not want to get married, then find yourself some kind of handicap. This is called an escape plan; this is what St. Clement’s mother and the venerable Marina did, who took refuge in a monastic house, and many others.

            While we were sitting and discussing these things, we saw four men driving a carriage on the road, and they came straight at us. They grabbed the girl, put her in a carriage and sent her off with one man; and three of them tied my arms and drove me back to the village where I had lived in the summer. For all of my excuses, they only shouted: “We will teach you, holy man, how to kidnap girls!” In the evening, they brought me to the village council, put my legs in chains, and locked me up in the inquisition until morning, until the trial was held. The priest, having learned that I was in the inquisition, came to visit me; he brought me some food to eat, comforted me, and said that he would intercede for me with the spiritual father and say that I am not of the kind that people were thinking of me. After spending some time with me, he went away.

            Later in the evening, an inspector, passing through the village, stopped at the assembly hall; and they told him about what had happened. He ordered a meeting to be called, and me to be brought to the judge’s house. We entered, stood there waiting. Here came the inspector, already in high spirits, sat down at the table, and shouted: ‘Hey, Epiphane! What, has your daughter done nothing wrong in the yard?’ Nothing, Father! Isn’t this fellow embroiled in any bad deeds?’ No, Father! So, once we have judged the case and made a decision: you deal with your daughter yourself; and we will smash this young man tomorrow and ban him from coming here again. That’s it!’

                After this, after a long time, there was another incident; I suppose I will tell you about it: once, on March 24, I felt an irresistible desire to celebrate the holy Mysteries of Christ on the day dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, in commemoration of her Annunciation. I asked if the church was far away; they said 30 miles. So I walked the rest of the day and all night to make it to midnight. The weather was the worst, first snow, then rain, and a strong wind and cold. On the road, I had to cross a small stream, and as soon as I entered the middle of it, the ice broke under my feet and I fell into the water up to my waist. So wet, I arrived at midnight; I managed to attend the service and the noon prayer, at which God allowed me to partake of the Holy Mysteries.

            In order to spend the day in peace, without any obstacles to spiritual joy, I begged the church janitor to let me stay in the chapel until the next day. All day long I was in indescribable joy and heartfelt sweetness; lying on the benches in this cold and unheated chapel, I felt as if I were resting on the bosom of Abraham: prayer was very powerful. Love for Jesus Christ and the Blessed Mother, like sweet waves, gathered in my heart and seemed to immerse my soul in delightful enthusiasm. In the evening, I suddenly felt a strong thrill in my legs, and remembered that they were wet. Ignoring this, I began to listen to my heart with prayer more carefully and no longer felt any pain. In the morning I wanted to get up, but I found that I could not move my legs at all; they had completely relaxed, like dead leaves; the janitor barely dragged me off the benches. So I lay there motionless for two days. On the third day, the janitor began to drive me out of the chapel, saying: If you die here, then go with you. As soon as I barely crawled out on my hands, I lay down on the church porch.

            I lay there for two more days. People passing by me paid no attention to me or my requests.

            At last some man came over to me, sat down and started talking. Incidentally, he said: What are you going to give me? I will cure you. It was exactly like that with me; I know about this potion. I have nothing to give you. And what’s in your bag? Only biscuits and books. Well, can you give me a holiday at least if I cure you? And I can’t work; you see, I only have one hand, and the other one is almost dried up. So what can you do? Nothing except that I can read and write. And write! Well, teach the boy to write, my son, he doesn’t know much about reading, and I want him to write. But the teachers ask a lot for instruction – 20 rubles. I agreed, and they pulled me away and put me in this man’s backyard in an old, empty garderobe.

Having recovered in this way, I began to teach the boy, I wrote the Lord’s Prayer instead of the spelling; I made him copy it, showing him how to write the words correctly. It was easy for me to teach him, because he served the manager during the day and came to me to study only when the manager was asleep, that is, from dawn until late in the afternoon. The boy was intelligent and soon began to write. When the manager saw that he was writing, he asked him, ‘Who is teaching you?’ The boy answered that a blind wanderer lived with us in the old bathhouse. The curious manager from Poland came to see me and had me read The Merciful Hospital. After we had talked, he said, ‘What are you reading?’ I showed him the book. “Oh! it’s The Merciful Hospital,” he said. I had seen this book in our vicar’s house when I lived in Wilno; however, I had heard that it contains some strange tricks and arts for prayer, written by Greek monks, similar to the way the fanatics in India and Bukhara sit and puff themselves up in order to gain a flutter in their heart and regard this natural feeling as meaningless. We must pray simply with a view to fulfilling our duty towards God; get up and read the Our Father, as Christ taught us to do; that is enough for the whole day, and is the right thing to do, and not continuously repeat the same thing; otherwise you will end up going crazy and ruin your heart.’””Do not think, father, so much about this holy book. It was not written by ordinary Greek monks, but by ancient great and holy men, whom your church honours somehow as Anthony the Great, Makarius the Great, Mark the Ascetic, John Chrysostom, and others. The Indian and Bukhara monks also inherited the inner spiritual way of prayer from them, but they distorted it and misrepresented it, as my elder told me. And in the Dvornitel, all the instructions on inner prayer are taken from the Word of God, the Holy Bible, in which the same Jesus Christ, who commanded people to read: Our Father, also commanded incessant inner prayer, saying: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind; watch, be alert and pray; be in Me, and I in you. And the holy fathers, citing the example of King David from the Psalms: Taste and see how good the Lord is, interpret this as meaning that Christians should seek and attain sweetness in prayer with all possible means, and not merely recite the Our Father once a day. Here I will read to you how these saints condemn those who do not strive to obtain and study sweet inner prayer. They write that such persons sin by 1) treating the Holy Scriptures as contradictory; 2) by not assuming the highest and most perfect state for the soul, but by being satisfied with outward virtues, lust and a thirst for the truth, they are unable to have joy and peace from God through virtues, and often fall into slavishness or pride and thereby depart. This is something high, said the governor; where should we, worldly people, pursue such things! Here I will read something simpler to you, concerning how good people in their worldly lives were taught to practice incessant prayer. I found a passage in The Dvornitel by St Simeon the New Theologian about George the Youth and began to read it.

   The governor liked it, and he said to me, “Please, give to me to read this book in my free time, when I will have time to look into it.” Perhaps, in a day I will give it to you, and I cannot do more, there being much that I need to read daily, and without it I cannot be. But at least, copy down what you have now read; I will pay you. Payment I do not need from you, but I will gladly do so, in order that God may give you an effort to prayer. Immediately I gladly copied what I had read. He read it to his wife, and they both liked it. Sometimes they began to send to me. I would go to them with The Dvornitel; read there, and they would listen, sitting over a cup of tea. One time they left me to dine. The wife of the governor, a kind old woman, would sit with us and eat fried fish. One time, by negligence, she had swallowed a bone, and no one was able to extricate it from her, she felt such a strong pain in her throat and fainted after two hours. They sent for a doctor, 30 verstes away, and I, feeling sorry, went home, already in the evening.

At night I heard in the thin snow the voice of my old man, but I could not see anyone; the voice said to me: “Here your master has cured you, and you do not help the stewardess? God has commanded us to have compassion on our neighbor. Gladly, what could I do? I do not know any means. But this is what you should do: from the very beginning of her life, she has had a dislike to tree oil, and not only does she not use it, but she cannot stand the smell without nausea. Therefore, give her a spoonful of tree oil to drink, it will make her scream, the bone will lick, and the oil will cover the wound in her throat that was scratched by the bone, and she will recover. And how can I give it to her when she has a dislike, will she not drink? You insisted on the steward to hold her head, and then, although forcibly, to pour it into her mouth.” Waking up, I immediately went to the steward and told him exactly what had happened. He said, “Now what will we do with your oil?” “Well, she’s coughing and dreaming, and her neck is swollen. But I think we’ll try it; the oil is harmless, though it won’t help.” He poured some tree oil into a cup and we gave her some to swallow. An instant later, she began to vomit violently and soon the bone came out with blood; it became lighter and she fell into a sound sleep.

In the morning I went to visit her and found her sitting quietly over tea, along with her husband, wondering at her healing, and moreover, as I was told in a dream, that she did not love tree oil, and that nobody but them both knew it. A doctor also came, the stewardess told them what had happened to her, and I told them about how her husband had cured my legs. The doctor, having listened, said: “Neither this nor that event is extraordinary; in both cases, it was the nature itself that worked, but for the record, I will write this down in the memoirs.” He took out a pencil and wrote it down in the memoirs.

After that, soon after, the rumor spread throughout the region that I was both a prophet and a doctor and a healer; people came to me from all sides without cease with their various affairs and cases, brought me gifts and began to venerate and beg me. For a week I watched this and, fearing that I might fall into vanity and be damaged by dispersion, I went away secretly at night.

So I once again went to my separate road, and I felt such relief as if a mountain had fallen from my shoulders. Prayer comforted me more and more, so much so that sometimes my heart boiled with boundless love for Jesus Christ, and from this sweet boiling, as if comforting jets poured over all my joints. The remembrance of Jesus Christ was so ingrained in my mind that when I contemplated the Gospel events I almost saw them before me, I was moved to tears, and I sometimes felt joy in my heart that I cannot even describe. Sometimes it happened that I did not enter human settlements for days on end and felt as if I were the only one on earth, the only miserable sinner before a merciful and compassionate God. This loneliness consoled me, and the prayerful enjoyment of it was much greater than that of a man.

I finally reached Irkutsk. Kneeling before the relics of St. Innocent, I began to think to myself: where should I go now? And I did not want to stay in this town for long, because it was crowded. I walked along the street thoughtfully; and there I met a merchant from the area who stopped me and said: you are a wanderer? Why don’t you come to my house? We entered his wealthy house. He asked me who I was, and I told him about my origin. Hearing this, he began to tell me: you should go to old Jerusalem. There is a shrine like no other! He would have been happy to go, I replied, but I have no funds to make the journey dry; I can walk to the sea, but I have no money to pay to cross the sea, I need a lot of money. Do you wish, said the merchant, I will give you a means; here, last year I sent one of our elderly townspeople there. I fell at his feet, and he began to say: Listen, I will give you a letter to my son in Odessa; he lives there and has trading relations with Constantinople; he regularly sends ships, and he will be happy to take you to Constantinople, and there he will instruct his officers to hire a place on the ship to Jerusalem and pay the money. After all, it is not very expensive. Hearing this, I cheered for joy, thanked this benefactor of mine for his kindness, and thanked God more for His fatherly love and care for me, the wretched sinner who does no good for himself or for others, and at the same time, who eats other people’s bread in laziness. And so I stayed with this kindly merchant for three days. He wrote me a letter promising his son about me; and here I am now going to Odessa with the intention of reaching the holy city of Jerusalem: but I do not know whether the Lord will permit me to worship at his life-giving tomb.

Having arrived in Odessa and given my letter to the shipowner, he was glad to give me a place on the ship. There I met a priest, an erudite old man who knew many languages, including the Slavonic, and he introduced me to me with the shipowner, whom he introduced as his son. He told me about his origin, saying that he had come from Canada and had never been to Constantinople. I then sat on the ship with the priest and his son. The priest was seated near me, and from him I learned a lot of things. In particular, he told me about the distresses of the Greek Orthodox Church in Constantinople. He said they are suffering from the persecution of the Turks. The Turks seized the land of the sad church, where the Metropolitan lived and the Synod. He took them, but he expressed hope that the Russian tsar did not intend to sell this estate once he knew that we had bought it. And there is a poor monastery in Constantinople: all of its nuns are peasants, and the Turks did not spare it either; they forced it to marry, or else face death. Bushes in this monastery are alive, but it does not have the ability to maintain them, because there is famine and hunger in Constantinople. This priest asked if I was going to Jerusalem because of his sorrow for the Holy Land. I told him about my mission, and he was glad to hear that the poor Holiness has a host-son in Russia who is willing to go to her, although he received no gifts in exchange. Perhaps he will be strong enough and will go to her, I said, but I do not know when, because I do not have enough money for my journey.

Before leaving Irkutsk, I went to see the spiritual father I had been talking to, and said to him: Here I am on my way to Jerusalem; come and say goodbye and thank him for the Christian love he has shown me, a worthless wanderer. He said to me: May God bless your journey. But what did you not tell me about yourself, who you are and where you come from? I have heard a lot from you about your travels; it would be interesting to find out about your background and your life before you became a wanderer.

Well, I said, I would be happy to tell you this too. It is not a long story.

Biography of a pilgrim and his former worldly life

I was born in a village in the province of Orel. After my father and mother, there were only two of us, me and my elder brother. He was ten years old, and I was two years old – three. And my grandfather took us to take care of him; he was an old wealthy and honest man, who kept a passing yard on the main road, and many travelers used to stay at his house. We began to live with him; my brother was lively, and he was always running around the village, and I was more busy around my grandfather. On holidays, we used to go to church with him, and at home he often read the Bible, the very same one that I have. My brother grew up and spoiled – he got drunk. I was already seven years old; one day I was lying with my brother on the stove, and he pushed me off, and injured my left arm. Since then, I have not been able to use it, it is all dried up.

        My grandfather, seeing that I would not be able to do agricultural work, began to teach me to read and write, and since we had no alphabet, he taught me from the same Bible, in a way: pointing to the letters, he made me form words and notice the letters. I do not understand how I learned to read by watching him. And finally, when my grandfather began to have difficulty seeing, he often obliged me to read the Bible, and he listened to me and corrected me. We often had a district scribe standing around, who wrote beautifully. I watched him, and I liked the way he wrote. That is how I learned to write. My grandfather was pleased with this, and he guided me as follows: “Now God has opened my eyes to letters, and I will be a man, so I should thank the Lord for this and pray more often.” Hence, we went to all church services and also prayed a great deal at home. They made me read: “Have mercy on me, O God,” and my grandfather and grandmother put their knees to the ground or stood on their knees. At last I was seventeen years old, and my grandmother died. My grandfather began to say to me: “We do not have a hostess in the house, and what good is a house without a grandmother? My eldest brother is running around, and I want to marry you.” I was unhappy, imagining my handicap, but my grandfather insisted, and I was married, and they chose a good, twenty-year-old girl as my bride. One year passed, and my grandfather became ill just before his death. He called me and said: “Here is your house and all your inheritance. Live honestly, do not deceive anyone, pray the most to God, rely on nothing but God, go to church, read the Bible, and remember us both with your grandmother. Here is a thousand rubles for you, keep them, do not spend them carelessly, but do not hoard them either, give to the poor and to the churches of God.”

        And he died, and I buried him. My brother became envious that the estate and the manor were all given to me, and he began to be angry with me, and the enemy helped him with this, even to the point of wanting to kill me. Finally, here is what he did at night when we were asleep and there were no lodgers: he broke the crib where the money was kept, took it out of the chest, and set the crib on fire. We heard it when the whole house and the yard were on fire, and we just managed to escape out of the windowpane, wearing what we were sleeping in.

        The Bible was under our heads, and we took it with us. Looking at how our house was burning, we said to each other: “Thank God! The Bible has survived, and we have something to be happy about in the fire.” So all our property burned down, and my brother left us without a trace. We later found out when he began to drink and boast that he had taken the money and set the estate on fire.

I am assured of God’s goodness, and I think in the Lord of the hope of my salvation. (Psalm 37:23–24)

          A fair Russian proverb says: “Man assumes, but God disposes”; I said, “I came to my spiritual father. I thought that today I would set out on the road to the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, but suddenly another, completely unforeseen circumstance met me, and I spent yet another three days in the same place. I could not stand it if I had not come to you to report this and to take your advice in a case which came about in this way, completely unexpectedly.”

           How random accidents happen in life! And the Lord and His holy providence direct our deeds and designs, as it is written:  and what is wanted and what the children of God are. After listening to this, my spiritual father said: I am deeply pleased, dear brother, that the Lord, unexpectedly, arranged for me to see you within a short time. And since you are now free, I will gladly keep you for longer, and you will tell me more about your instructive meetings that took place on your long journey. I listened with pleasure and attention to all your previous stories. I am happy to do this, I replied and began to speak.

            There was a lot of good and bad, and it was difficult to recount everything but a lot of it was already out of my mind because I tried to remember only what stirred and excited my lazy soul to prayer, and everything else I rarely remembered, or rather I tried to forget the past, following St. Paul’s instruction, who said: I strive after the elevation of higher honors, forgetting the former, and stretching forward. And my late blessed elder said that distractions from prayer come from two sides, from thinking and imagination, that is, if the enemy does not have time to turn us away from prayer with trivial thoughts and sinful intentions, then he renews our recollection or adds prayer to the mind, making it unbearable. And this is called lucid stealing, in which the soul, having despised conversation with God, turns to a satisfied conversation with itself or with animals. And that is why he taught me never to take the most beautiful spiritual thought during prayer, and afterwards, if I happen to find that more of the day was spent in instructive contemplation and conversation than in meaningful, mindless prayer of the heart, then this should be considered as excess or self-interest for the necessary, for spiritual greed. In prayer, it was the superior number of times spent on teaching that triumphed over the time spent on other cherished duties. However, one cannot forget everything. On the other hand, some things have become so deeply ingrained in my mind that I have long forgotten them, but I remember, for example, one pious family in which God granted me to spend a few days with the incident described below.

Meeting with the pious family of a landowner

During my journey through my Tula province, I had to pass through a small town. I had very little food left, so I entered a house to ask for bread for the road. The host said: Thank God, you came at the right time, my wife has just taken the bread out of the oven, here is a warm quilt, pray to God for us. I thanked them and started putting the bread in my bag, and the mistress, seeing me, said: What a skinny bag, all worn out, I will change it for you, and gave me a nice, solid bag. I thanked them from the heart, and went on. At the exit, in a small shop, I asked for some salt, and the shopkeeper poured a small bag for me. I encouraged myself and thanked God that He shows me such good people. Here, I thought, now I will spend a week without worrying about food, I will sleep and be satisfied. Bless my soul, Lord!

And so I got up and said to her: please forgive me, mother, I have to go; let the Lord Jesus Christ be with you and your beloved children. Oh, no! God forbid, do not let me go. Here, in the evening, my husband is coming from the town, where he serves as a judge in the county court during the elections. He will be so happy to see you! He considers every traveler to be a messenger of God. And if you go, he will be very sad to not see you: besides, tomorrow is Sunday, you will pray with us at noon, and whatever God has sent, you will share together; we always have guests for our meals, up to thirty brother beggars. But of course, you did not say a word about yourself, where you are from and where you are going? Talk to me, I like to listen to spiritual conversations with godly people. Children, children! take the traveler’s bag and bring it to the icon room, where he will spend the night. Listening to these words of hers, I was surprised, and I thought: am I talking to a person or am I talking to a ghost?

            There was nothing to do, and we went. As we entered the garden, to be more comfortable and not to speak, I bowed down to the lady and said: I beg you, mother, in the name of God, tell me, how long have you been living this pious life, and how did you achieve this holiness? I will tell you everything. Here, you see, my granddaughter is the saint of Joasap, whose relics are resting in Belgorod. We had a large house in the city, the outbuilding of which was rented by a poor nobleman. Finally, he died, and his wife became pregnant, gave birth, and died after childbirth. The newborn was a poor orphan. My mother took him to bring him up, and a year later I was born. We grew up together and studied with the same teachers and tutors, and became used to being like brothers and sisters. After some time, my father died, and my mother left the city life, moved here to this village with us. When we came of age, she married me to her foster-son, gave us this village, and built a cell for herself, and then made us this will: to live in Christian fashion, to pray diligently to God, and to try as much as possible to observe the most important commandment of God, namely, love for our neighbors, to support the poor, to live in simplicity and humility, to raise children. This is how we have lived here alone for ten years, trying as much as possible to fulfill our mother’s will. We also have a beggar, in which more than ten people with disabilities and illnesses now live; we will probably visit them tomorrow.

“There is no book on prayer, I asked. I like to read about prayer. There is a new book on prayer, the work of a priest from St. Petersburg. The gentleman interpreted the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Our Father’ and we started reading it with pleasure. After a while, the lady came to us, brought tea, and the children drew a whole nutcracker, all silver, like some dry cakes, which I had never eaten. The gentleman took my book, gave it to the lady, and said: ‘Here, let’s get her to read it, she reads it wonderfully, and we’ll treat ourselves.’ The lady started reading, and we started listening. As I listened to the reading, I also listened to the prayer that was being conducted, inside my heart. The further the reading went, the more the prayer developed, and I enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw someone rushing past my eyes, as if in the air, like my late old man. I jumped up, but to hide it, I said, ‘Excuse me, I’m sleepy.’ Here I felt as if the spirit of the old man had penetrated my spirit or lit it up, I felt some light in my mind and a lot of thoughts about prayer. As soon as I crossed myself, I wanted to dispel these thoughts, the lady read the whole book, and the gentleman asked me: ‘Did you like this work?’ ‘I liked it very much,’ I answered, but the Lord’s Prayer ‘Our Father’ is higher and more precious than all the prayers we Christians have; for it is explained by the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and the interpretation I read from the holy Fathers is also speculative, mystical.

          In which book did you read this? Well, for example, in Maximus the Confessor, and in Dobrotolublia by Peter Damske. Please, can you remember what it was, tell us! Please, do. The beginning of the prayer: “Our Father who art in heaven,” the book explains that under these words one should understand the fostering of brotherly love for one’s neighbors, as children of one Father. This is very fair, but the holy Fathers further explain it more spiritually, namely – they say that in this expression one should turn one’s mind to heaven, to the Heavenly Father, and remember one’s obligation to constantly present oneself in the presence of God and to walk before God. The words: “May your name be hallowed,” the book explains meticulously, that one should not utter the Divine name without reverence, or in an unjust oath, in a word, that one should pronounce the holy name of God in a sacred manner and not waste it; the secret interpreters see here a direct request for an inner, heart prayer, that is, that the most holy name of God be printed within the heart and self-prayed and sanctified and sanctified all the feelings and spiritual powers of the heart. The words: “May your kingdom come” are explained by the secret interpreters as follows: may our inner world, peace and spiritual joy come into our hearts. In the book, it is explained that under the words: “Give us today our daily bread” one should understand a request for the necessary necessities of bodily life, not superfluous ones, but only necessary ones and sufficient help to others. And Maximus the Confessor, under the name of daily bread, understands the nourishment of the soul with heavenly bread, that is, with the word of God, and with the union of the soul with God, with God-knowing and uninterrupted inner prayer of the heart.Oh! what a great work it is, and almost impossible for the inhabitants of the world to attain to interior prayer, exclaimed the gentleman; though in outward things, God helps out so easily. Do not think, Father, so. If it were impossible and too difficult, God would not have commanded it to everyone. His power is in weakness; and the experienced holy fathers give their own ways of achieving interior prayer. Of course, for the world’s hermits they present special and superior means, but also for the laity they prescribe convenient and guiding means to attain interior prayer. I have never read about this in detail, said the gentleman. Please, please, let me read for you in the book Dobrotolyubstva. I brought my Dobrotolyubstva, found Peter Damascene’s article in Part 3 on page 48, and began reading the following: “one must learn to call on the name of God more than the breath, at all times and places and in all deeds. The Apostle says, ‘Never cease praying,’ that is, he teaches that one should always have in mind the Creator of all things; say for the sake of being mindful of and praising God, and this will always bring joy to your soul.”& nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; After their ministers retired, the three of us remained in the room. Here, Madam brought me a white shirt and stockings; I bowed at her feet and said: I will not wear the stockings of a mother, I have never sewn them from my ancestors. We are used to walking in a one-piece suit. She hurried back and brought her old frock coat, a thin yellow cloth, and cut it into two suits, and the gentleman said: here is the poor one’s worn-out clothes, they are almost broken, and then he brought his new shoes, big ones that he wears over boots, and then he said to me: go into that room. I went, changed, and came back to them again. They sat me on a chair, and began to put on shoes, the man started wrapping my legs in the suits, and the lady started putting on the shoes. At first I did not agree, but they ordered me to sit still and said: sit and be silent, Christ washed his disciples’ feet. I had nothing to do, so I began to cry, and they also cried.

History of Conversion and the Life of a Landowner

I forgive you, dear brother, I asked you not out of mere curiosity, but out of kindness and Christian participation in you, and also because two years ago I saw an example from which my question sprang. As you see, a beggar with a discharged soldier’s passport came to us, an old man, a poor, almost naked one, who spoke little and in a simple manner, like a steppe peasant. We took him in to our poorhouse; after a few days he fell seriously ill, so we moved him to this gazebo, comforted him, and started visiting him and treating him ourselves together with my wife. In the end, he was probably nearing death; we prepared him, calling our priest to confess him, anoint him, and administer the sacraments. The day before his death he got up, asked me for a sheet of paper and a pen, asked that the doors be closed and that no one be let in while he wrote a will to his son, whom he had instructed to send it to St. Petersburg at the specified address. I was surprised when I saw how well he wrote, not only with a magnificent, learned handwriting, but also with a wonderful, well-written, and very tender composition. I will read you his will tomorrow; I have a copy of it.

    Being in such a painful state, I realized my sinfulness, repented, confessed, released all the people who served me, vowed to torment myself with all kinds of labor for the rest of my life, and to hide my face in abjection, in order to bear the punishment for my sins as the last servant of the lowest class of people. As soon as I firmly resolved on this, the visions that had troubled me immediately ended. I felt such a joy and joy of reconciliation with God that I cannot fully describe it. Here I also learned firsthand what heaven means and how the kingdom of God is revealed within our hearts. Soon I recovered, carried out my intentions, and secretly left with my retired soldier’s passport: from my homeland. And now I have been wandering around all of Siberia for 15 years. Sometimes I take on hard manual labor, sometimes I support myself with the name of Christ. Oh! What a bliss, what happiness, what peace of mind I have enjoyed through all these trials! Only one who has been rescued from a painful hell by the kindness of the Intercessor can feel this. Having told you this, he handed me his will to be sent to his son, and the next day he died. And here is the list of his will that is now in my bag, enclosed in my Bible. If you wish, I will read it now. Please be kind!

    “In the name of God, the Trinity, glorified Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,” he began, “my dear son!”

    “It’s been 15 years since you haven’t seen your father, but he has been out of sight, occasionally communicating with you, and he has nurtured fatherly love toward you, which compels me to send you these premonitions, to be your life lesson.”

    You know how I suffered for my negligence and careless life; but you don’t know how I rejoiced in my mysterious wanderings, enjoying the fruits of repentance.”

    I am dying peacefully in the care of my good and compassionate Creator, because the mercies bestowed on the father should benefit the caring son. Give my thanks to him as you can.”

    Leaving you my parental blessing, I urge you to remember God, to keep your conscience, to be prudent, good, and prudent, to treat your subordinates as kindly and lovingly as possible, and not to ignore the poor and the strangers, remembering that even a dying father, in the poverty and torment of his soul, suffered.”

Invoking God’s grace upon you, I calmly closed my eyes in the hope of eternal life, with the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.After the Lord’s service, the priest, the deacon and all the beggars went to the dining table together, and there were as many as forty beggars; there were crippled people, people with illnesses, and boys. They all sat at the table. What a silence and silence! Taking courage, I said to the master: in the monasteries they read the lives of the saints at mealtimes; why should you not do the same? You have a lot of servants. The master turned to the lady and said: indeed, Masha, let’s establish this order. It would be very disrespectful. First, I will read, then you, and then Father, and later the brothers, one after another, whoever knows how. The priest, while eating, began to speak: I love to listen, but the submissive servant has no free time. Once you come home, you do not know how to get back all the worries and worries; you have to do this and that; there are a lot of boys, and you have plenty of livestock, you are busy all day, and you have no time to read or teach. Hearing this, I jumped, and the lady, sitting next to me, took me by the hand and began to speak: Father says this out of humility, he always lowers himself, and he is the kindest and most godly of men; he has been a widow for 20 years and has raised a whole family of grandchildren, and he often serves. With these words, I remembered the following saying by Mykyti Styfata in Dobromyl, “The nature of things is measured by the state of the soul, that is, whoever is who, he judges others as such.” And he goes on to say, “He who has attained true prayer and love sees no difference between things, he does not distinguish between the righteous and the sinner, but he loves everyone equally and does not condemn anyone, just as God does. Just as the sun shines and rains on both the righteous and the wicked.”

            I felt an inner compulsion, a strong need for inner flow, and solitude and silence were no longer present the next day. I felt in my heart like a flood that was trying to break through and flow into all my limbs, but as soon as I withheld it, there was a great pain in my heart – yet something consoling, that required silent reassurance and saturation with prayer. Here I found out why true creators of prayer, which they practiced in themselves, fled from people and hid themselves in the unknown, and also understood why Saint Isaiah calls even intimate and beneficial conversation “piling nonsense” (egocentrism) – just as Saint Ephrem the Syrian says: “Good language is silver, and silence is pure gold.” In considering all this, I went to the poor man. There everyone took a rest after lunch. I climbed the attic, relaxed, took a rest, and prayed. When the beggars got up, I found a blind man and took him outside the city. We sat alone and began to talk.

            Having read this, I began to think that it was very convenient for me, and I began to pray quietly over my sewing work, and I liked it. Those who lived with me in the hut noticed this and began to laugh at me; are you a sorcerer or something, who keeps muttering all the time? or what are you mumbling? I stopped moving my lips to conceal this, and began to pray only in one language. In the end, I became so used to praying that the language itself, day and night, uttered it, and I enjoyed it.

            I walked like this for a long time, and then suddenly I became completely blind. In our family, almost everyone has dark water in their eyes. That is, our society, because of my poverty, has decided to send me to a bed and breakfast, which is located in our provincial city of Tobolsk. I am now heading there, and the gentlemen have stopped me in order to provide me with transportation to Tobolsk.

What was the name of the book you read, wasn’t it Charity? I don’t know, I couldn’t even look at the big sheet. I brought my Charity, found in four parts in Callist, the words that the Patriarch said to me in memory, and began to read them. It is exactly that. Screamed the blind man. Read, brother, how good it is. When I reached the line where it says: it is necessary to pray with the heart, he began to approach me: what does this mean? And how is this done? I told him that all the teachings on heart prayer are explained in detail in the same book, in Charity, and he asked me with zeal to read them to him.

            We’ll do it. Do you intend to go to Tobolsk? Yes, right now, he answered. Well, that’s how we do. Tomorrow, I think I’m going to go on the road. We’ll go with you, and I’ll read everything to you that concerns heart prayer and show you how to look for a heart place and enter it. But what about a carriage? he asked. Well, what do you need for a carriage, as it’s only a hundred and fifty versts to Tobolsk, we’ll go slowly, and two people alone know how well to go and talk and read about prayer while walking. So we agreed. In the evening, the gentleman himself came to call us all to dinner, after dinner we announced that we were going on the road with the blind man, and that we did not need a carriage; it was more convenient to read Charity while walking. At the same time, the gentleman began to say: and I really liked Charity; I already wrote a letter and prepared money to send to St. Petersburg tomorrow, as soon as I went to court, so that they would send me Charity with the first mail. So, in the morning we set off on the road, thanked these gentlemen very much for their exemplary love and compassion; and they both waved us goodbye from their homes. So we said goodbye.

My companion and I walked slowly, a bit at a time, ten or eleven versts a day, and spent the rest of the time in secluded places, reading The Loving-kindness of God. I read him everything I could about the method of pious heart prayer, as my late blessed Elder had told me, beginning with the book of the Canonical Monk Gregory the Sinaiticus, and continuing on. How eagerly and attentively he listened to all this, how everything pleased him and delighted him! Then he began to ask me questions about prayer that I could not even begin to answer. Having read the necessary sections in The Loving-kindness of God, he began diligently to beg me to show him how to dispassionately bring his mind into contact with his heart and to cast divine virtues in it, how to pray piously with the heart. I started telling him: “While you cannot see anything, you can imagine what you have seen before — a person, or something, or a member of your body, such as an arm or a foot — with as great vividness as though you were looking at it. In the same way you can imagine your heart and focus your eyes on it as though you were looking through your breast, and fasten your hearing on its beating and thumping. If you have done this, you can begin to assign to each beat of the heart the words of a prayer; for example, at the first beat say or think, “Lord,” to the second say, “Jesus,” to the third, “Christ,” to the fourth, “Have mercy,” and to the fifth, “On me.” Do this many times, so that it becomes natural for you. You already have a beginning and a preparation for heart prayer, so do it frequently and in greater measure. When you become accustomed to this, begin to enter and exit whole Jesus’ prayer, along with breathing, as the Fathers teach, i.e., as you inhale, say, picture: “Lord Jesus Christ,” and as you exhale, say, “Have mercy on me.” Do this more often and more fully, and soon you will feel a gentle, pleasant pain in your heart, then a warmth and softness will begin to pervade it. Then with God’s help you will have personally enjoyed the joy of the prayer of the heart. But be careful always to avoid idle imaginations in the mind; do not accept any kind of images, but dwell within the insensitivity of the mind. Do not shirk away from any kind of images; for the holy fathers are keenly forbidden in interior prayer to have any kind of vision, lest you be led astray into false beauty.”The blind man, having listened to all this attentively, began to diligently carry out the instructions he had been given, and at night, when we stopped to rest, he would spend a long time doing this. After a few days, he began to feel strong warmth and an ineffable pleasure in his heart, and he also had a great desire to perseveringly practice this prayer, which was revealing to him a love for Jesus Christ. Sometimes he would begin to see light, although he did not notice any objects or things in it; at other times, it seemed to him as he entered his heart that a strong flame of a burning candle was burning sweetly inside the heart and, rushing out through his throat, illuminated it; and he could even see distant things through this flame, as happened on one occasion.There was nothing more for him to do, so he sat down again and, with the meekness of a suffering soul, confessed his sins and lamented his past sins. He was no longer the singer from his youth, whose songs on the open spaces of his hometown had attracted all the ladies. He was now interested only in heaven. He understood no more foreign languages except German and prayer in the Lord’s name. He, however, read all foreign books very carefully, as if they would teach him a new lesson. I was thrilled by a miracle and gave him the promise, according to which the Lord God would receive him at a later moment. I brought him in to the asylum and left him there, and then, with sincere gratitude, I departed.

A month later, I went on little by little and deeply felt how good living examples can be instructive and encouraging. I often read “Dobrotolubiv”, and believed in everything I had said to the blind man. His instructive example created in me jealousy, gratitude and love for the Lord, and prayer of the heart gave me such joy that I didn’t think that anyone else could be any happier on earth, and I marveled at what greater and more glorious joy could be found in the kingdom of heaven. I not only felt all this inside my soul, but everything around me also appeared to be wondrous, and everything drew me to love and to thank God; people, trees, plants, and animals all seemed to be my relatives, and I saw the image of the name of Jesus Christ in them all. At times I felt such lightness as if I did not have a body, and I was not walking, but rather floating in the air like a joy-filled bird; at other times, I drew all of myself into myself and saw all my ideas with clarity, and I wondered at the wise and intelligent structure of the human body. And sometimes I felt such joy as if I were made into a king, and for every such joy I wished that God would soon grant me death so that I could pour out my thanksgiving at His feet in the world of spirits. Also, I sometimes sought out seemingly impossible travel conditions and went into forests and by night, and by passing through unhealthy places and raging waters – as if things could be accomplished with prayer as they can through the help of a saint, or with the power of the external senses, or with drugs. (Why do they even kill people with poisonous drugs?) But I found out how strongly many things are both physically and spiritually connected with each other through my “hunger for knowledge,” and at the same time, I saw the joy and mercy of the Lord covering all creation. And I felt like Satan, the most fearsome of all the devils, cannot even look at the Lord’s presence and even Christ’s name makes him tremble like a frightened pup. If you read, you can find out all of this in more detail. This is how my soul was made by the Lord God Himself, after knowing Him and learning from Him through my constant devotions. I also understood that all this is only God’s blessing upon me, not merely something that happens to everyone. And at the same time, I felt unmerited joy and warmth in my heart because of all my weaknesses, and wanted to serve God with no more rest, but to love Him even more than once. Only in this way would I escape this dungeon of eternity and return home to the heavenly kingdom where the true joy reigns, and where there is no mourning, sighing, or grumbling.

It was evident that I enjoyed these feelings exceedingly, whether it was the indulgence of God’s will or not, but after a while I felt a certain tremor and fear. I thought to myself: If it were not for me, would something bad or calamity not happen again, just as it had happened to the girl whom I had taught Jesus’ prayer in the chapel. Thoughts began to hover over me like a cloud, and I recalled the words of St. John of the Carpathians, who says that he who frequently teaches is abandoned to disgrace and suffers the misfortunes and temptations of those who have benefited from him spiritually. Having overcome these thoughts, I intensified the prayer by which I completely drove them away, and I was encouraged and said to myself: Let it be God’s will! I am ready to endure whatever misfortune Jesus Christ does not send me because of my wretchedness and pride. And those to whom I had recently opened the secret of the inner prayer and the inner way were also prepared for my meeting with them by direct divine revelation. Having calmed down with this, I went on with joy and prayer and enjoyed my former life. For two days it had rained, and the road was so muddy that it was difficult to get one’s feet out of the mud, so I walked along the steppe, and I did not meet a single village. Finally, in the late afternoon, I saw a courtyard near the road and thought, “Here I will ask to stay for the night and I will rest here, and tomorrow, God willing, the weather may be better.”

When I approached, I saw a drunk old man in a soldier’s uniform sitting by one of the courtyards on a stool, and I bowed to him and said, “Can I ask someone here to stay the night?” Who can give me shelter except you? “The old man shouted, “I’m the boss here!” This is a post station, and I’m the watchman. So, let me stay with you. Do you have a passport? Give me a valid identity card. I gave him my passport, and he held it in his hands, and again he asked, “Where is the passport?” It’s in your hands, I answered. Well, let’s go into the house. The watchman put on his glasses, read it, and said, “It seems to be a valid appearance, stay the night; after all, I’m a good man; here, I bring you a drink.” I don’t drink today, I replied. Well, never mind, at least, eat with us. We sat down at the table, him and the cook, and the young cook was also drinking quite a bit, and they sat down with me. All the time during dinner they were quarreling, scolding each other, and at the end they even fought. The watchman went to sleep in the barn in his quarters, and the cook began to clean the dishes, washing the plates and spoons and scolding her old man.

“I sat for a while and thought that she wouldn’t calm down soon, and I said to her: where can I sleep, my mother? I’m tired from the journey. Here, father, is a bed for you, and by placing a bench next to the front window, she spread the hay and laid my headrest. I lay down and closed my eyes as if I were sleeping. The maid continued to tap around for a long time; finally, she went away, put out the fire, and came to me. Suddenly, the entire window, with its frame, the panes, and the fragments of the frame, exploded with a terrible crash, the whole house shook, and there was a painful moan, cry, and howling outside. My grandmother, frightened, jumped to the middle of the room and fell to the floor. I jumped up, without even realizing it, thinking the earth was opening up under me. Then I saw two yamkas bring a man, covered in blood, in so much that his face wasn’t even visible. That was even more frightening for me. It was the fultier, who had come to change the horses. The yamkas didn’t turn into the gate correctly, and the lord jumped out through the window, and as there was a ditch in front of the house, the cart turned over, and the fultier fell, tearing his head open on the sharp corner placed within the uprights. The lord asked for water and wine to wash his wound, smeared it with wine, drank a glass himself, and shouted: horses! I stood beside him, saying: how can you ride with such pain? The lord was once sick, he answered, and hopped on his horse. The maids pulled my grandmother to the stove in one corner without feeling anything, covered her with a quilt, saying: this happened to her from fright; she will recover. The maitre d’hotel sobered up and started to rest anew.

I was left alone.

Soon my grandmother got up and began to walk around the house, like a crazy person who had left the house. I, after praying, felt some relief, and fell asleep a little before the light.

In the morning, after saying goodbye to the maitre d’hotel, I set out, started walking, and prayed my prayer with faith, hope, and thanksgiving to the Father of mercies, who saved me from impending calamity.”

            Six years after this incident, while walking past a women’s monastery, I went into a church to pray. The strange abbess took me to see her after lunch and ordered tea. Suddenly, unexpected guests arrived; she went to them, and left me with the nuns, her novices. The humble nun who poured the tea aroused my curiosity to ask: how long have you been here, Mother? She replied, “Eight years; I was brought here madly, and God has shown mercy here.” The abbess then left me in the cell and received her. What madness has befallen you? I asked. It was a panic attack. I was employed in a coaching home and, during the night, the horses broke into the window, and I got hysterical from the fright. My relatives took me to sacred places for a whole year, and now I have been cured. Hearing this, I was made joyful and praised God, who uses everything to the benefit of those who build.

            There were many different incidents, I said, turning to my father. If I narrate them in chronological order, the whole story will take three days. But there are other opportunities to narrate.

Meeting with a village priest and a devout girl

            On a clear summer day, I saw a cemetery near the road, or what is called the cemetery, that is, the church, and some priestly houses. There was a blessing at noon; and I went there. The people nearby also went there; others, who didn’t go far enough, sat on the grass and, seeing me, who was rushing, told me: “Don’t hurry; stay still until the service starts; it’s been going on a long time; the priest is sick, and rather skinny.” Indeed, the service lasted a long time. The priest was young, but thin and pale; he acted very slowly, but very devoutly, and at the end of the noon service, he delivered a wonderful, understandable sermon on the ways of attaining love for God.

At the end of the meal, the priest said to me: You can go to bed after lunch, and I will read the Word of God and prepare for tomorrow’s sermon. And so I went into the kitchen; there was no one, except an old woman who was sitting in a corner, crouched down, coughing. I sat near the window, took out my Blessed Brotherly Love from my bag, and began to read it quietly about myself; finally, I listened to the fact that the old woman who was sitting in the corner, muttered the Lord’s prayer constantly; I was enchanted to hear the most holy name of the Lord, which is so often uttered, and I began to talk to her: How wonderful, mother, that you are always praying! This is the most Christian act of salvation. Yes, Father, she replied, at my old age, the only joy is that God will forgive! Since when have you been so accustomed to pray? From childhood, Father; without this, it is not possible for me, because the Lord’s Prayer has saved me from death and death. How is that? Please tell us, for the glory of God and for the glorification of the gracious power of the Lord’s Prayer. I put the Blessed Brotherly Love back in my bag, sat closer to her, and she began to tell me:I was a young and beautiful girl; my parents arranged for me to marry: in order to have a wedding tomorrow, the bridegroom came to us, and suddenly, without having taken ten steps, he fell and died, never taking a breath! I was so frightened by this that I completely refused to marry and decided to live in virginity and go to holy places to pray to God. But one at a time I was afraid that, in my youth, evil people would scold me. Behold, an old woman, an old woman, taught me that wherever I went on the road, I should constantly pray the Jesus Prayer, and she firmly assured me that with this prayer no misfortune could happen on the road. I believed this, and I walked gently, even to distant holy places; my parents gave me money for this.Here is what I did: I used this method: I kept the boy in the room on a bench by ordering him to repeat the Lord’s Prayer without stopping. At first he did not like this and did it as little as possible and often whined. To make him do as I had ordered, I often kept a knife next to me. When he was reciting the lord’s Prayer, I would calmly read a book or listen to him reciting. But as soon as he stopped, I used to show him the knife, and his overcome fear would make him recite the prayer again. This comforted me greatly, because there was peace in my house. After a while I found that I did not need the knife any more; the boy began to obey me willingly and more diligently. I noticed a complete change in his lively and unrestrained nature; he became calm and silent and did the household chores more competently. I was happy and began to give him more freedom. Then what happened? But the boy got used to praying so completely, so naturally and so oftener than I could have imagined, that I often had difficulty in preventing him from reciting the prayer even at the most unexpected moments. I used to ask him if he felt anything when he did it. He would reply, “This seems to feel good. I do not know how to express it. It is fun, somehow.”After that, I began to say to the count: “How beautiful, father, the book by the Reverend Gregory Palamas that you wanted to read! I know it. But in it there is more about the audible Jesus prayer and less about how to reach the perfect science of spiritual Jesus prayer in the mind and heart, and so taste the sweetest fruit of it. I would recommend you to read a book called The Love of God. There, you will find the perfect and complete science of how to reach the spiritual Jesus prayer in the heart and mind and taste the sweetest fruit of it.” I showed him my book called The Love of God. He seemed very happy to accept my advice and promised to get a copy for himself.

            After telling these stories, I said to my spiritual father: Forgive me, for God’s sake, I have already said so many words, and the holy fathers call a spiritual conversation, although it is inexororous, vanity. I must go to see my Jerusalem companion. Pray for me, O wretched sinner, that the Lord, out of His great mercy, will arrange my path for good.

            May you always wish, dear brother, for the Lord, he answered, and the loving grace of God illumines your path and accompanies you like the angel Raphael with you!

Three keys to the inner treasury of prayer

Found in the spiritual riches of the Fathers

      There is wisdom in my heart (Psalm 119, 11).

      Evil tries its utmost to drag the mind into calamity and trouble (Lamentations of the Confinement, ch. 19).

            If everyone has their own peculiar characteristics, inclinations and abilities, the achievement of the same goal takes place in different directions, in different ways, guided by it. So the achievement of the goal of inner prayerful activities happens through many different paths, as we can read in the observations of the Fathers.

            One of these methods is common both for success in prayer and for success in the Christian life, in a way:   unconditional obedience, as Simeon the New Theologian says;  works of charity and asceticism, as the Church declares in its hymns: deeds were found by you, divine, in visions (saints’ trope);   prayer of the external for the internal prayer: Lord, teach us to pray;   special graces, such as: Collete Calivit once touched the icon of the Mother of God, after two years of prayer to her, suddenly felt sweetness and warmth that fell into her heart; the young Georgi, in a simple prayer, suddenly saw an inner light and accepted a continuously automatic prayer, etc.

 There are also other essential ways to internal prayer that seem to belong directly to it. There are three such ways, as we find in the holy fathers.

 1) Calling the name of Jesus Christ;

 2) Attention to this call; and

 3) Entering within oneself, or, as the Church Fathers express it, entering the mind into the heart.

 Since these methods primarily open the kingdom of God for us in a quick and convenient way and reveal the treasure of internal spiritual prayer in the heart, it is very appropriate to call them the keys to this sacred ark.

The first key: Calling the name of Jesus Christ

            As St. Isaac says, if quantity leads to quality, then the frequent, almost continuous invocation of the name of Jesus Christ, though initially scattered, can lead to attention and warmth of the heart. Since the human nature is capable of acquiring a certain mood through frequent use and habit. To learn to do something well, one must do it much more often, said one spiritual writer; and St. Hysiac says that frequency gives rise to habit and appeals to nature (chapter 7). This, as is clear from the observations of experienced men, is the case with regard to interior prayer as follows: one who wishes to attain interior prayer decides to invoke the Divine Name frequently, almost continuously, that is, to say the Lord Jesus Christ in words: “Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”; sometimes it is shortened, that is, “Jesus Christ, have mercy on me”, as St. Gregory of Sinai teaches. He adds that the shortened invocation is more convenient for a beginner; however, he does not refute either one or the other and advises only not to frequently change the verbs of prayer so as to be more easily accustomed to the invocation. And in order to even more excite oneself to the continuous generation of prayer, the disciple considers himself to be on a rule by looking at the times at a certain number of times to invoke, that is, to say a hundred or a thousand prayers in a day and a night without haste, but by speaking, straining the mouth and lips. After a while the mouth and lips of a proficient acquire such a habit and, like self-motion, they already move spontaneously by themselves with the mention of the divine name, even without a voice. Further, the mind, by listening to this movement of speech, gradually clears itself of dispersion and comes to attention to prayer. Finally, the weakness of reason in the heart can be emulated, as the fathers say, that is, the mind, having returned to the heart, heats it with the warmth of divine love, and the heart itself is no longer moved by coercion, but freely, with an ineffable joy, invokes the name of Jesus Christ and pours itself out with the plea & quot; My heart prays. & quot; The fruitfulness of the frequent rational invocation of the name of Jesus Christ is beautifully expressed by St. Isaac: Like a rain that multiplies upon the earth that falls, it also moistens the earth, so that the earth of our heart, invoked by the name of Jesus Christ, joyfully works and delights us, whenever it is invoked. & quot;

            Although the method proposed, based on the experiences and observations of the holy Fathers, is sufficiently sufficient for convenient guidance in order to achieve the desired goal of interior prayer, there are still higher methods, of a kind: attention and the introduction of the mind into the heart. The first method belongs primarily to those who have not yet become accustomed to attention and are not yet capable of successfully working on the heart, or it can be an introduction and assumption to the following methods. However, according to the differences in properties and abilities, whoever finds something more convenient, chooses it, as Nikifor the Hermit says. & quot;

Key No. 2: Attention of the mind in the heart

Attention is the maintenance (preservation) of reason, as Niphon the ascetic has expressed it, or attention is the drawing of reason to itself and its deepening in a certain subject, while all extraneous thoughts and representations are abandoned. As it is necessary in connection with prayer, the saints Callist and Ignatius assure us, citing the words of Abba Niphon, that attention, which seeks prayer, will necessarily draw it to itself; for prayer imitates more than anything else in regard to it. It is appropriate to attend to it well (As required in the second part of the Book of Virtue , chapter 24).

This is similar to what Saint Isaac writes: how carefully to listen to thoughts, and the desire to pray to Jesus will arise from them (chapter 90); and again: the environment of the heart is filled with joy and quiet from the utmost attention (chapter 91), which, “is as essential to prayer as a lamp to the light of a lamp” (chapter 102). Also, Niphon the ascetic, following the pattern of the teaching on interior prayer, finally concludes that, if it will not be convenient, according to his example, to enter the heart, one should employ all the attention necessary for prayer, which, without doubt, will open the door of the heart and enlarge interior prayer, as St. Paul confirms in Sacred Scripture, that without attention it is not possible to unite with God, saying: Forsake, and know that I am God .

  The person who wishes to attain interior prayer through attention must hold himself as much as possible apart, avoid conversation with people, create his prayer not hastily and suddenly, but with some arrangement, make his mind deepen into the words of prayer, in the same manner as when reading a book attentively, repeatedly call the one he is praying to and His mercy, which he asks: sometimes, having formed one prayer, pause for a while, as if waiting for God’s response, try to hold his attention in the two situations, and always remember that he has set himself to be in the unceasing attention of prayer for the Lord, while purifying his mind of thoughts.

This is the third key. Upon entering it, we will not expand our reasoning, but will present an image and the teaching of the holy fathers on self-penetration and entering into the heart, according to the ways they have tried them, as faithful guides to true spiritual interior prayer. We will present the instructions of the holy fathers here in their own words, dividing them for convenience into three columns and arranging them in the following order:

The first row will be composed of the fathers who left us a complete instruction about the Jesus Prayer, somehow: 1) Symeon the New Theologian 2) Gregory Sinaitis, 3) Niphon the monk, and 4) the monks Callist and Ignatius Xanthopuli.

  The second row consists of the fathers who left us brief statements about interior prayer, which are:

1) Instructions of St. Symeon the New Theologian

2) Instructions of St. Philotheus of Sinai

3) Instructions of Metropolitan Feolijpt of Filadelphos

4) Instructions of St. Varangongios and St. Ioannis.

Third group of instructions

1) Instructions of St. Symeon the New Theologian

St. Symeon the New Theologian describes the way of entering into the heart in the description of the third form of prayer, in the 68th word (page 163, in the Russian translation, second edition):

            The third form of prayer is truly wonderful and immeasurable, and for those who do not know it thoroughly, it is not only inconvenient, but even seems incredible. And indeed, in our time, this form of prayer is encountered in few people, whereas they are being destroyed by all the tricks and cunning that the demons would use to turn the mind away from their striving, numerous and diverse. For then the mind, being free of everything, has a good opportunity, without any hindrance, to explore the thoughts that are being instigated by the demons, and with great convenience to drive them away and bring pure prayers to God with a pure heart.

            After describing the conditions for success in this form of prayer, namely: perfect obedience, and keeping conscience pure, both toward God and toward people, and toward things, and guiding everything to do as if you were before God, he continues, saying:

            By acting in this way, you will find a true and straightforward path to the third form of prayer, which is as follows: the mind should keep the heart in place while praying, and it should rotate continuously inside it, sending prayers to God from its depths.

            That is all there is to it: work in this way until you taste the Lord. When, at last, the mind is there, deep inside the heart, and you taste and feel that God is good, it will no longer want to move away from that heart centre; then it will say, like Saint Peter: It is good for us to be here, and we will always look inwards and rotate continuously, banishing all the thoughts that the devil stirs up.

            For those who have no idea about this matter and do not know it, it often seems cumbersome and oppressive. But those who have tasted the sweetness it has and have enjoyed it deep within their own heart, they shout out with Saint Paul and say: Who will separate us from the love of Christ, etc. For our Holy Fathers, having heard the Lord saying that evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, tatbi, false testimony, slander and reviling come from within the heart, have also heard that in another passage of the Gospel it is commanded that we should cleanse our inner vessels, so that their exterior may be clean as well, and they have abandoned every other spiritual task and have completely dedicated themselves to this single activity, that is, to the guarding of the heart, being convinced that by this alone they can draw all virtue close to them, and without it they cannot hope to achieve anything. They were particularly diligent in this, and wrote about it. Those who wish to may read their writings, and may read what the ascetic Mark wrote about this, what Saint John the Theologian said, and what Saint Isaac the Syriac, Philotheus the Sinai monk, Abba Isaiah, Varsoonaphiius the Great and others wrote.

            If you wish to learn how to do this (i.e. to enter the heart and remain there), I will tell you about it.

            Three things are to be observed above all else: to take care of everything, even the blessed, and not only the unblessed and mundane, or else to deaden everything, to have a pure conscience in everything, so that it does not betray you in anything, and to have complete impartiality so that your thought does not incline to anything. Then sit in a particular and silent place alone, close the door, turn your mind from every temporal and mundane thing, bow your head to your bosom, and in this way concentrate your attention within yourself (not in the head, but in the heart), turning your mind and sensual eyes there, and keeping them. Having your mind there, trying all the more to find it, where the heart is, to find it, your mind is already fully present there. First, you will find some darkness and rigidity within, but then, if you continue this exercise of attention incessantly day and night, you will experience a certain unceasing joy. The mind, by struggling in this way, will find the place of the heart, and then immediately you will see things inside of which you have never seen or known. From that moment, from whatever side a thought arises or appears, before it enters within and thinks, or imagines itself, the mind immediately drives it away and destroys it in the name of Jesus, that is, O Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. From that moment, the mind will begin to have anger against the demons, to drive them away and to strike. On the other hand, what usually goes on after this work of recollection, with God’s help, one will find out by oneself, while keeping the attention and holding on to Jesus, that is, His prayer: O Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!

2) The instructions of Saint Grigory Sinaita

St. Grigory Sinaita explains the doctrine of inner prayer and the way to practice it in three of his articles on silence and prayer, included in Part 1 of the Doings of the Holiness, pages 112-119. Here is a shortened excerpt from them:

            We should have taken the spirit of life concerning Christ Jesus and pure prayer in the heart to speak with the Lord as an angel; but we, not understanding the greatness, honour and glory of the grace of regeneration, and not caring for the fact that we should grow spiritually through the practice of the commandments and rise to the state of rational contemplation, give way to negligence, because of which we fall into passions and descend into the abyss of senselessness and darkness. It happens that we are even barely aware of God’s existence and do not know at all what we should be like as children of God by grace. We believe, but with a belief that is not active, and after our regeneration through the Spirit in baptism, we do not stop living carnal lives. If sometimes, after repentance, we begin to practice the commandments, we do so only outwardly and not spiritually, and we thus deviate from spiritual life to the point that other people’s expressions of it seem to us to be injustices and mistakes. So, until our death, we remain dead in spirit, living and acting not for Christ, and not living up to that definition that one born of the Spirit must be spiritual.

            In the meantime, the acceptance of Christ Jesus in holy Baptism is not destroyed, but only buried, like a treasure in the earth. But prudence and gratitude require us to take care that it be brought to light and made manifest. How is this to be done?

            There are two ways to achieve this: firstly, this gift is revealed through painstaking performance of the commandments, so that as we carry them out, it shows its light and brilliance; secondly, it comes to light and is revealed by the constant calling of the Lord Jesus, or, to put it another way, by constant remembrance of God. The first method is powerful; but the second is even more powerful, so that the first receives its full strength from it. Therefore, if we sincerely wish to reveal the hidden seed of grace within us, let us hasten to acquire this last heart discipline and to make this one matter of prayer our heart’s sole concern, not in appearance, but fervently, until it kindles our hearts with an ineffable love for the Lord.

            The effect of this prayer in the heart is twofold: sometimes the mind precedes, becoming attached to the Lord in the heart by constant remembrance; sometimes the effect of prayer, having been kindled first by the fire of joy and gladness, draws the mind into the heart and binds it to the calling of the Lord Jesus and to the reverential adoration of Him. In the first case, the effect of prayer begins to be manifest, stifling passions through the performance of commandments, by the warmth of the heart, as a result of the heightened calling of the Lord Jesus; in the second, the spirit draws the mind into the heart and keeps it there, guarding it from the usual wanderings. Through these two types of prayer, the mind becomes both active and contemplative: by action, it overcomes passions with God’s help, and by contemplation, it sees God as far as is possible for a human being.

            Active spiritual prayer is carried out as follows: sit down on a chair to one’s own stature, remove one’s mind from the head to the heart, and keep it there; and from there, say the prayer with spiritual intimacy: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!’ While doing so, hold your breathing, so that you do not breathe in a huff, because this can distract your thoughts. If you notice that thoughts arise, do not listen to them, even if they are simple and good, not just frivolous and depraved. By placing your mind in your heart and calling on the Lord Jesus often and patiently, you will soon destroy such thoughts and destroy them by striking the invisible with the divine name. St. Lysticius says: ‘Beat the warriors with the name of Jesus; there is no stronger weapon in heaven or on earth.’

    When your mind becomes weak in such work, and when your body and heart become sick from the strenuous effort of frequent prayer, then get up and sing, or meditate on some passage of Scripture, or recall death, or take up reading, or needlework, or some other activity.

When you engage in this prayerful task, it is fitting that you read only books that expound the teachings of inner life, chastity, and prayer, namely the Ladder, the words of Isaac the Syrian, the ascetic writings of Maxim the Confessor, Simeon the New Theologian, Enoch, Filo of Sinai, and others. Lay aside all other kinds of literature for the time being, not because it is bad, but because it is not appropriate for you to engage with it in your present state of mind and purpose: they may distract your mind from prayer. Read not too much, but with depth and understanding.

 Do not neglect prayer either. Some keep a strict prayer rule, others completely abandon prayer, praying to the Lord with one reasonable prayer. You should choose the middle ground: do not make too many prayers, for here comes discouragement, but do not abandon them either, in case of weakness and laziness. If you see that prayer works in you and does not cease to move in your heart, do not abandon it and do not take up a prayer book. This would mean leaving God within, leaving Him and extending a conversation to Him from without. Those who do not yet have the action of prayer must make many prayers, and even to excess, in order to constantly engage in this diverse and multiform prayer, until the pain of such fervent prayeric activity warms the heart and the action of prayer begins within it. Those who have finally tasted this grace should make prayers in moderation, and spend more time in intelligent prayer, as the fathers have recommended. In the event of inner weakness, one should either pray or study the writings of the fathers. Excessive use of arms is inappropriate when the wind has filled the sails: they are necessary when the wind falls and the boat stops.

 Great weaponry has an enemy who, in prayer, holds the broken cry so as not to fall into conceit from the joy that prayer brings. The one who preserves this joyful sum will avoid all harm. True, not magical, interior prayer is that in which the warmth, coming from Jesus’ prayer, places a fire in the heart’s soil and ignites passions like a thunderbolt. It joyfully lights up the soul and has its origin not from the clear or turquoise land, nor even from above, but breaks through from the heart, like a spring of water, from the life-giving Spirit. Adore this one and return to the gaining in your heart, by always keeping the mind unfathomable. With it, fear nothing; for He who said, “Rejoice; I have overcome the world,” is with us.

            Nikhifor, a monk, explains in his article on sobriety and keeping the heart how to enter the heart. (Dobrot, part 2, pp. 36-43).

The words of St. Symeon the New Theologian are as follows: “… since the time when man was driven out from Paradise and separated from God, the devil with his demons has acquired the freedom to move the apparent power of each person day and night invisibly. To protect oneself from this mind, there is no other way than by constantly remembering God. Whoever is overcome by the remembrance of God is able to restrain the wandering of his reason and of his mental power.” This is the teaching of all the holy fathers. Indeed, almost everyone learns all these things from others through instruction. Very few have obtained them directly from God, by the warmth of their faith. Therefore, one should seek an instructor who knows the work. If such an instructor is not available, let one invoke God for help in the chastening of the heart and in tears, and do as I tell you.

            Let us put together everything we have learned from the Holy Fathers. Let us begin with the words of the holy Father Callistus, who says: “The road of perfection is to rouse and awake the heart. With the more diligent attention we bestow upon it, the more splendid will be its accomplishments, while a neglectful attitude spoils everything.”

Thus, since the beginning and the root of the saving action is to live according to the commandments of the Lord, and the end and the fruit is to restore the perfect grace of the Spirit which was first given to us through baptism, which is in us but is covered by passions, and is again revealed through the fulfillment of God’s commandments: it is fitting for us to proclaim this gift. Cleanse it and see it more clearly. The Lord’s buckle, John, says that whoever keeps the Lord’s commandments is with the Lord. And the Lord himself sets this even more fully forth, saying: “Whoever keeps My commandments and obeys them, loves Me; and he who loves Me shall be My father; and I shall love him, and I will show myself to him. When one loves Me, My word will remain in him, and My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling in him.”

            This exact fulfillment of saving commandments is impossible for us without the Lord Jesus Christ, as He himself says: Without Me you can do nothing , and as the Apostle testified that there is no other salvation. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Therefore, our venerable masters and teachers, with the living and Holy Spirit in them, teach us that above all other things, we should pray to the Lord and ask Him for mercy without any doubt, and always have the most holy and sweetest name of the Lord in our hearts, minds, and souls, and not sleep, walk, eat, and drink. For just as in the time when we have no such calling, every evil and destructive thing flows into us, so in the time when we have it, everything opposite is expelled, nothing good is destroyed, and nothing is not possible for us to accomplish, as the Lord himself said: Who is in Me and I in Him, he will produce.

Let it be known that if we teach our mind to come together with the breath to the heart, we will also notice that when it comes there, it is single and naked, holding one only thought and invocation of our Lord Jesus Christ. On the contrary, as it comes out and draws to external objects, it readily divides into many images and memories. To keep this simplicity and solitude of the mind, it is prescribed by experienced fathers in this matter that he who has zealously sought to acquire the habit of becoming sober in mind in the heart should sit in a silent and dark place, especially at the beginning of this good endeavor. For the sight of external objects naturally causes the scattering of thoughts. When a silent and dark temple hides them from us, the thought ceases to wander and becomes more readily gathered in itself, as Basil the Great says: the mind that is not distracted by the senses to the world returns to itself (cf. BC 21,3).

            Marry also the fact that all such adjusting postures of the body are directed, determined by detailed rules and considered necessary until the pure and unspiritual prayer vanishes from the heart. When, by the grace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, you have reached this, having abandoned many and various deeds, you will more than anything else be united to the one true Lord by a pure and unspiritual prayer of the heart, not needing such adjustments. 

            Therefore, if you wish by means of your deeds to attain the life of Christ Jesus, strive to attain so that at any time and at any hour, and in every deed, you will be able to pray to the Lord in your heart, with all your heart, to be able to attain such a state as an infant of age to a man capable of fully, to the measure of age, fulfilling the work of Christ. 

            Remember, however, that when you sometimes encounter a pure and unspiritual prayer, you must in no case disturb it with your rules for prayer. This is what Philimon teaches: whether day or night, the Lord will enable you to experience pure and unspiritual prayer, and you should leave your rules behind and do your utmost to draw closer to the Lord God; and He will enlighten your heart in the spiritual work. 

            When you have obtained a steadfast prayer in your heart, then, as Isaac the Syrian says, you have attained the goal of all virtues and have become the abode of the Holy Spirit; then the prayer never ceases either when you sit or when you walk, eat or drink anything. Prayer flowers from the heart with ease even during deep sleep. If it should silence itself in sleep, nevertheless it is constantly active unceasingly within, without ceasing. 

Second group of instructions

1) Words of Isaac the Presbyter

            1) Vigilance is the continuous silence of the heart, in which it is constantly and incessantly breathing Christ Jesus, the Son of God and God, and by Him alone, calling, drawing forth courage from the foes and having authority over sin (revealing it). 

            2) Temperance is a firm establishment and permanence of the mind at the entrance to the heart; so that it sees how foreign thoughts approach, these thieves and robbers, hears what they speak and do, these destroyers, and what demons they draw up and enclose the image, trying to take the mind by way of a dream and seduce it. If we find it difficult to go through this action, it will clearly show us the art of willful condemnation (ch. 6). 

3) Images of sobriety: the first is to look unceasingly at the dream or the example; the second is to have a heart that is always deeply silent and of one mind, without words, and to pray; the third is to constantly call for the help of the Lord Jesus Christ in humility; the fourth, is to constantly have the remembrance of death in one’s soul; the fifth is the most effective of all, to stare only at heaven, without blaming anything on earth (chapters 14-18).            8) The devil goes about like a roaring lion, with his bands of demons, crying out for whom he may devour. Let us never cease in our hearts our vigilant attention, sobriety, meditation, and prayer to our Lord Jesus Christ, the God of our salvation. For there is no help in all life except that of Jesus Christ, the one Lord and God, who alone knows the devil’s cunning, cunning, and hypocrisy (chap. 39).13) David, in his Psalter, says to the Lord: I shall keep my kingdom unto Thee. In the same way, it is in accordance with the help of the Lord, who has given us the commandments, and who repels from us, when we constantly call upon Him, the unnecessary forgetfulness that most frequently wastes the interior tranquillity, like water when thrown upon the fire. Therefore, by the name of Jesus, do not fall into drowsiness without care, but rather flog the adversary, which is the sweetest name and a feast for your breath, and then shall you perceive the usefulness of tranquillity (Ch. 100).

17. Oh, what a marvellous fruit for the understanding is the silence in which sins, striking first on man’s intelligence in the form of thoughts, become, if accepted by the heart, later on rough sins of the sense, all which are withheld in our inner man by the virtue of soberness, which forbids them to enter, and so they are kept at a distance from Jesus Christ (chapter 111).

18. Just as valleys give forth abundant crops of wheat, so does the prayer of Jesus give forth in your heart abundant good; or rather, it is our Lord Jesus Christ himself who gives it to you, without whom we can do nothing. And you will first find it by the ladder, then by the book in which you will read, and finally, by more and more prospering, you will find it in the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the Lord of the forces, with his One and Only Father and with the Holy Spirit that worships him (chapter 117).

19. When the soul, after death, ascends to the air and enters through the gates of heaven, and is not afraid of her enemies, having Christ on her side; yet, even now, publicly, with defiance, she will proclaim to them at the gate. May it not be tired for her day and night to cry out to our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and he will soon render unto her revenge through the false divine promise which he said in the parable about the unjust judge: “I say to you,” he will reply, “thine shall be vengeance soon,” both in this life and after her death (chapter 149).

20. If, having begun living in the attention of the intellect, we combine modesty with sobriety, and, by victory, unite prayer, we will walk well with a mind enlightened by the holy and adorable name of Jesus Christ, like a lamp of light. But if we have hope only in sobriety, or in one of our attentions, then, soon succumbing to the attacks of our enemies, we will fall, and will be carried in their nets, and we will soon be completely enveloped by wicked desires, like traps, or by an entire concealment from them, having no sword that can conquer–no sword capable of turning them away and casting them forth, like straw upon the fire (chapter 152).

21) The business of constant sobriety is favourable and multi-faceted, and we can easily see dream-like thoughts being formed in our minds. The business of conversation is to expose and denounce a thought that has made an attempt to enter the air of our reason through the perception of some sensory object. The same thing that immediately extinguishes and disperses every hostile intent, every word, every dream, every idol, and every column of iniquity, is the invocation of the Lord. And we ourselves see how strongly Jesus, our great God, strikes them down and how he protects us the humble, poor, and unworthy (ch. 153).

2) Произведения Филотея Синайского

            1) Творцу благодати достойна такая речь и такую задачу следовать разуму: чтобы, подобно маргаритке или драгоценному камню, доеменно умалять сердце в помнюании о Боге. Поможет отрешиться от всего, даже от тела, и пренебречь истиным смыслом жизни, чтобы обрести единого Бога в своей душе (гл. 1).

            2) С самого утра нужно смело и непоколебимо стоять у вратах сердца с твердой памятницею в Боже и непрестанной в душе Исусом Христом молитвой и этой мыслью убивать всех грешников земли, то есть верной, усиленной и очень заманчивой помнющей о Боге прополкой сеять, (гл. 2).

            3) Познание справедливо называют дорогой, потому что оно ведет в царство, и в то, что внутри нас, и в будущее, – и умным Творцом (духовной мастерней), потому что оно рождает и подравнивает (полирует) духовные обычаи и переводит пристрастие в безпристрастие. Оно также подобно прозрачной рамочному окошку, через которое Бог всходил в разум (гл. 3).

            4) Там, где умиротворенность, помнющее о Боге с просветленностью и вниманием, и многократно против молниеносной молитвы к врагам, там место Боже, или небесную душу, в которой небезопасно стоять огромному стаду бесов из-за того, что здесь живет Бог (гл. 4).

            5) Первая дверь, ведущая в задуманный Иерусалим, в внимание разума, – это разумное молчание уст, хотя еще разум не молчит; вторая – умеренность в пище, питье и сне; третья – что очищает разум и тело, неизменное помнющее и уговорительство про смерть (гл. 6).

            6) Сладкое помнющее о Боге, то есть Иисусе Христе, вознесенным гневом сердца и спасительной враждебностью (к любому греховному) обычно разрушает все заклинания помыслов, различные внушения, слова и мечты, скромные представления и, коротко оговоря, все, что вражественно, поглощает наши души. Иисус, будучи зовутым, легко все поглощает. Ведь никому другому нет спасения, кроме Иисуса Христа. Это же сказал и Сам Спасатель, говоря: Без Меня вы ничего не можете сделать. (гл. 22).

            7) At any hour and at any moment, we will keep ourselves far from the thoughts that darken the spiritual mirror in which we should be imprinted and graven the only Jesus Christ, who is the wisdom and power of God the Father. We will constantly seek the kingdom of heaven within our hearts; and, of course, we will find the secret within ourselves – the seed, the pearl, the leaven, and everything else if we cleanse our mind’s eye. For this reason, our Lord Jesus Christ said: The kingdom of God is within you, understanding by this, the Divine being who dwells within the heart (ch. 23).

            8) In the discipline of interior vigil, do this: unite fasting with prayer, and fasting will increase prayer, and prayer will strengthen fasting. Fasting, constantly watching everything within, notices how enemies try to enter, and, fortifying them to the force, calls for the help of the Lord Jesus Christ to drive these wicked soldiers out. In this vigil, the entrance is threatened by contradiction; and Jesus, who is called upon, drives out the demons from their dreams (ch. 25).

            9) With extreme vigilance, cherish your mind. As soon as you notice an enemy thought, immediately refute it, but at the same time hasten to call on the Lord Jesus Christ for vengeance. The most sweet Jesus, when you speak, will say: “I am with you to give you help.” But even after your prayer, when all these enemies are subdued, continue to listen intently to your mind. Here come the waves of thoughts that multiplied earlier, one after another, to attack you, so that the soul seems to be sinking into the abyss and ready to perish. But Jesus, roused by the disciples, again, as God, forbids the evil winds to thoughts, and they subside. You, having won freedom from the attacks of the enemy, for an hour or a moment, glorify Him who saved you, and delve into the thoughts of death (ch. 26).

            10) With each heartfelt attention in the spiritual feeling, you will accomplish your path of attention and prayer, constantly being combined together, you will do something similar to the fire of the fiery chariot, elevating to the heavenly heights the one to whom they are related. And what do I say? In him who has established himself in sobriety, a pure heart becomes a heavenly heaven, with its sun, moon and stars, being the abode of the inexplicable God from a mysterious vision and descent (into the mind) (ch. 27).

1) The rising of the sun makes night; and when Christ departs from the soul, then darkness of passions seizes her, and the wild beasts begin to torment her. The sun of sensuality has set, and the wild beasts hide in their caves. Christ illumines the mind that prays; and every world of this habit departs, and the intellect comes into its own work, that is, into the divine instruction to the evening (letter 45).

8) Believe me, I tell you the truth, that if in every work you have the indissoluble mother of every good—prayer—then she will not go out until she shows you the surroundings of it, enters you into it, and fulfills the ineffable glory and joy. She, having eliminated all obstacles, smoothes the path of goodness and makes it convenient for those who seek (Letter 48).

9) Walking with thought, read the verbs of prayer, and speak to the Lord, continually shouting and not grieving; persistently praying, following the silence of this widowed woman who begged an unbridled judge. Then (this will mean that) you walk by spirit, do not listen to bodily desires, and do not interrupt the continuity of prayer with worldly thoughts, but are the temple of God in which God is silently glorified. Thus praying in thought, you will finally be able to reach unceasing contemplation of God, penetrate into the inaccessible mysteries of the mind, in secret contemplations see the invisible, serve God alone to the one, in the love which is proper to you. (Letter 48 from. ed.).

4) Sayings of Wason the Great and John the Prophesy

1) Adversaries are weakened by the invocation of the name of God. Knowing this, let us not cease to call upon God in our help. This is prayer, and the Scriptures say: pray without ceasing (Response 422).

2) Remember that God is the hearer of hearts. Let him behold your heart, and call to him there. This is what was said in Scripture: Lock your doors and pray to your Father who is in secret. Let us lock our mouths and pray to him in our hearts. For whoever locks his mouth and calls to God, or prays to him in his heart, he fulfills the commandment that is stated (Response 427).

3) The work of your heart must be to pray to God incessantly. If you wish to succeed in this, begin and search diligently, hoping, and God will bless you with success (Response 26).

4) Incessant invocation of the name of God is a remedy that kills not only desires, but also their very operation. Just as a physician seeks a suitable remedy or a plaster for a suffering person’s wound, and they do, with the patient not even knowing how it is done: so truly the name of God, when invoked, kills all desires, even though we do not know how this happens (Response 421).

            5) The Lord said: “Ask and it shall be given to you.” Pray to the almighty God, let Him send you the Holy Spirit of Consolation, and He who has come shall teach you everything and reveal all the rites to you. Find Him in the guide; He will not allow vanity or distraction in your heart, nor will He allow thoughtlessness, dispersion, or sloth; He will enlighten your eyes, strengthen your heart, and raise your intellect. Obey Him, trust Him, love Him (reply 136).

2) When lies began to circulate in Alexander and its environs, he left and moved to the Lavra of Nikanor. Receiving him, the god-fearing Pavich gave him his separate cell and arranged for him to live in solitude. For a whole year he did not allow anyone to see him, and he did not trouble him except when he brought the bread he needed. The Holy Pascha of Christ came; when they began to converse with each other and the conversation turned to the ascetic life, then Filimon understood that even this Brother Pavich is nourished by a noble intention (to live a holy life) and that he teaches such words, both scriptural and non-scriptural, showing how impossible it is to please God without complete seclusion, and how the exploit of Moses fails to bring good fruit wherever there is vanity, and that the exploit gives rise to sorrow, sorrow to fear, fear to humility, humility to understanding, understanding to love, and love makes the soul healthy and fearless, and then a person realizes that he is not far from God.3) Efim (Philimon) said to him: It is your duty, by means of silence, to completely purify the mind and give it unceasing spiritual activity. Just as the eye, turning to the sensual, is amazed by the visible, so the pure mind, turning to thought, is captivated by the spiritually perceived, so that you cannot turn away from it. And the more the mind is uncovered by means of silence from passions and is purified, the more pleasing and engaging becomes the guidance (of the spirit of spiritual things). The perfected mind is when it tastes the essence of worship and merges with God. Then it, having the dignity of a king, feels no need of poverty and is not captivated by worldly desires, even if you offer it all the kingdoms. Therefore, if you want to attain such virtues, flee from the world and diligently pursue the path of the saints, cast off all care about your outward appearance, wear simple clothing, and keep your adornment humble. Keep your conduct simple, your speech unpretentious, your manners dishonest, and your voice foolish. Love to live in poverty and let everyone disregard you. Above all, be diligent in preserving the mind and sobriety, be patient in all difficulties, and preserve the spiritual blessings you have already acquired, untouched and unshaken. Love carefully to yourself and do not accept any of the passions that secretly insinuate themselves, for though silence restrains worldly passions, if they are allowed to flare up and flare up, they will generally become more violent, and those who allow this bring greater sin. Similarly, wounds which are rubbed and torn can be incurable. One word can even distance the mind from the remembrance of the living God, when devils have a desire for it, and the senses are in agreement with them. It is a great feat and a terrible thing to preserve the soul. Therefore, it is necessary for you to withdraw completely from the world and, by separating the soul from all sensuousness of the body, become homeless, homeless, homeless, homeless, generous, carefree, alone, ignorant of worldly affairs, humble, sympathetic, good, gentle, calm, calm, inconstant in the heart, for one cannot write on wax without erasing the letters previously drawn on it, as the Great Basil teaches us. Such was the image of the saints, who, completely withdrawing from all worldly customs and preserving in themselves the unhurried heavenly contemplation, were illuminated by divine laws and radiated with godly deeds and words, deadening all that is on earth by self-restraint, fear of God and love. For unceasing prayer and instruction in the divine Scriptures open the eyes of the mind and reveal the King of power, and there is great joy, and the divine desire bursts forth unceasingly in the heart, and the flesh, through the action of the Spirit, is kept intact, and the whole person becomes spiritual. This is what the creators of blessed silence and the most disciplined ascetic way of life find pleasing, who, having separated themselves from all the joys of the world, are continually communicating with the one and only supreme Ruler in heaven.4) Hearing this, that pious brother, amazed by the divine love in his soul, left his place and, together with Filimon, reached the monastery where the greatest of the elders had embarked on the path of holiness. They settled there in the lavra of St. John the Colossus, entrusting themselves to the care of the monastery economist, for they wished to remain in silence. And they remained there by the grace of God in complete silence, celebrating the common services on Sundays and at the Savior’s Resurrection, and spending the rest of the days in their selves; each one prayed and performed service especially.9) There was a brother named Ivan, who suddenly ran after the others and came to this holy and great Father Philimon and, embracing his feet, said to him, “What should I do, father, so that I may be saved?” For my mind roams here and there, when it should not. And he, having been silent for a moment, said, “This disease [of the soul] is the lot of those who are external, and it is in them; and it is in you, because you have not received love of God yet, nor has the warmth of love and knowledge of Him come to you.” The brother says to the elder, “What should I do, father?” He said to him, “Go, take the secret teaching within yourself, and it will cleanse the mind of this.” The brother, since he was not initiated in what the signs were given, says to the elder, “What is this secret teaching, father?” And he said to him, “Go, be sober in your heart, and in your mind, with sober fear and awe, say: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” Thus begins the holy Diacoh.11) The brother asked him again, “I see many vain dreams in my sleep. The elder told him: “Do not be lazy and do not lose heart; but before you fall asleep, pray a lot in your heart and resist the thoughts and intentions of the devil to lead you according to his will. May God accept you. Whatever your strength is, take care that you sleep with psalms on your lips and with wise instruction, and in no case allow your mind, through negligence, to accept the thoughts of others, but with what thoughts you have prayed, with that instruction you incline and fall on your bed, so that when you sleep they will be in you, and when they rest in you, and when about you. Say also the holy symbol of the Orthodox faith before you fall asleep, for the truth about God is the source and protection of all good things.”And here is what he said to him: think about vain things that happen in the soul, which are the disease of an immaculate soul which has been given over to negligence; therefore, according to the Scriptures, we must keep our minds striving, sing with reason without distraction, and pray with a pure mind. Therefore, brother, God wants us to be diligent toward Him, first with works (asceticism and works of piety), then with love, and by never-ceasing prayer, and He will give us the way of salvation. There is obviously no other way that leads to heaven, except that of perfect separation from everything evil, the acquisition of all good, perfect love for God, and being united with Him in the state of sanctification and truth, so that when one has this, he will soon be lifted up to the heavenly throne. But in doing so, each person who wishes to make a higher ascent should immediately put to death the passions that exist on earth. For when our soul enjoys the vision of true good, it no longer returns to any of the passions stirred up by sweet sin; but having turned away from all worldly indulgence, it receives the revelation of God with a clean and pure mind. Therefore, it is necessary for us to exercise great self-restraint and many bodily works and to purify our souls, and enthrone God in our hearts, so that we will be able to complete His divine commandments with no sin, and that He Himself will teach us to observe His laws, by casting on us the rays of His actions infused within us by the grace of the Spirit. Through works and temptations, we must purify the image by which we were created as rational beings and able to perceive all understanding and to be like God, bearing feelings that are clean from all defilement through the refashioning of them in the furnace of temptation, and being wrought into the dignity of kingship. God and human nature have been made worthy of every good that can be contemplated mentally–the joys of the angels in glory, dominion, power, beginning, authority, unapproachable light, glorious sovereignty. But whenever you correct a virtue, be careful not to let your thought grow high above your brother, for you corrected it, while he would despise it; for this is the beginning of pride. Whenever you are striving against some passion, do not mourn or be discouraged by the fact that the other person is struggling vigorously; but arise and put yourself before God, sincerely saying with the prophet: Lord, judge those who oppress me, for I am not strong against them. And when He sees your humility, He will soon send you His help. When you go with someone on the road, do not engage in vain conversation, but give the spirit mindful action, which he had so that this good habit may be retained in him and the memory of worldly sweets forgotten, and he would not leave the harbor of incontinence. 13) After a while, he came again and, beginning to speak, asked: What should I do, Father? In my night vigil, sleep burdens me and prevents me from praying with sobriety and increased devotion; and I want to take up work when I am singing. So the old man said: If you can pray with sobriety, do not touch the craft; but if you are carried away by meditation, then, leaning slightly against your own thought, cross it out and touch the craft. He again asked: Do you yourself, Father, not become burdened with sleep during your vigil? The old man said: It is not that easy; yet, when insomnia sometimes strikes, I lean slightly, but I begin to read from the beginning of the Gospel of John, fixing the eye of reason on God, and it immediately vanishes. Something like this I do with thoughts, precisely when one of them is found, I encounter it like a fire with tears, and it vanishes. Yet you are not yet able to arm yourself against them; but try to keep the intimate instruction and strive to perform the services established by the holy Fathers, such as the daily prayers, the third, sixth, ninth, and evening services, and the nocturnal services. And with all your might try not to do anything for the sake of human pleasure and be careful not to have any animosity toward anyone in the brotherhood, so as not to distance yourself from God. Try also to keep your mind from being distracted, always listening to inner thoughts. When you are in church and have the intention to partake of the sacred mysteries of Christ, do not leave it until you receive the perfect world. Having stood in one place, do not move from it until the end of the service; in yourself, think that you are on heaven and are awaiting God with holy angels, ready to receive Him into your heart; prepare for this with fear and trembling, so as not to be a worthy recipient of the holy powers.14) A brother of mine also told me the following about this. One day while sitting by my side, I asked him: was he tempted by demonic temptations while living in the desert. He said: “Please forgive me, brother,” if God permits the temptations of the devil to come upon you, similar to those I experienced, I do not think you could bear their bitterness. I am seventy years old, or possibly more; I have endured many temptations while living in various deserts in complete silence; what I experienced and endured from these demons is not worthwhile to tell those who have not yet fallen into these temptations of silence. In such temptations I always acted as follows: I put all my trust in God, to whom I made covenants of abstinence, and He soon rescued me from all need. Why, my brother, do I no longer make any plans of my own, but knowing that He cares for me, I easily endure the temptations that come to me. And only this do I offer to Him, in order to pray constantly. It helps a great deal in this, as well, the hope that the more grievous and great tribulations and misfortunes come upon us, the greater are the crowns of patience for the righteous One: for before the Righteous Judge the two of them balance each other out. Knowing this, my brother, do not be discouraged. You have entered the midst of the battle to fight, and fight, inasmuch as there are so many fighting against the enemy of our race, rather than the enemy’s armies. Besides, how could our human nature possibly withstand such a terrible adversary, had the protector of the people of God’s Word not clothed us, walled us in, and covered us? How could the human being survive the attack by him? For as Job says: “Who shall unclothe his covering?  Who will take hold of his skirt?  Flame scorches from his mouth, and sparks of fire from his nostrils. Smoke goes up from his nostrils, as from a furnace that is burning. His heart is like molten brass, and he stands as a stamping mill, and his way is like a deceitful servant. He sets the sea on fire; he makes the lake his reservoir, and his deluge resounds. All authority bows down before him; all flesh is wax in his sight. His eyes are too fierce to see, and his teeth are terrifying. When he speaks, men are destroyed before him,  for his words pierce like swords. He stands watching like a sentinel, guarding the prisoners in the dungeon.”  That is our opponent, my brother!  This is what the Word has depicted of this tyrant, with all his numerous hosts!  In spite of all this, victory over him proves to be quite favorable for those who, as they ought, lead the solitary life, as well as to those who have nothing in their being that he possesses, because of their renunciation of the world.  And to those whose high virtues and whose unique possession, the one who fights for them, make it possible for them to win victory.  For who, tell me, having recourse to the Lord and having received the fear of Him in one’s mind, is not transformed by nature and outfitted with divine laws and works; does not make his soul luminous and capable of shining with divine insights and thoughts?  But it never permits him to be sanctified, having God within him, Who drives the soul forever toward light. It constantly influences the soul, the spirit does not allow any indulgence in passions, but represses them with severe wrath and discipline, like a king who, breathing with a terrible wrath and harmony, mercilessly tramples them.  One like this never returns back again, but, by means of practice (virtue), and by the influence of one’s hands upon the heavens and by rational prayer, he gains victory in battle.15) Another brother also told that Avva Filimon had these other virtues: he could not stand to hear empty words, and if someone, while absent-minded, related something that did not concern the benefit of the soul, he did not respond to it at all. Likewise, when I went on any business, he did not ask, “What business are you going about?” And when I returned, he did not say, “Where have you been? or what did you do?” Once I went to Alexandria for an urgent need, and from there, on a church matter, I went to Tsargrata, without telling the servant of God about it; then, having spent some time there, visiting the reverent brothers there, I finally returned to him in the hermitage. Upon seeing me, the elder rejoiced and, with the usual greeting, prayed, and sat down; but he did not ask me at all, and was busy with his habitual wise acts.18) Next, he added the story of a lonely man, saying that he had already attained absoluteness and received bread from the hand of an angel, but, through distraction, had lost that honor. For when the soul relaxes its concentrated and attentive attention of the mind, then the soul is penetrated by darkness; where God does not shine, everything is flooded, as in darkness; and the soul then cannot look toward the one God and tremble at His words. “God approaches me,” says the Lord, “not God from afar. Or does a person hide himself in secrecy, and will I not see him? Do I fill the heavens and the earth?” And he mentioned many others, like those who had suffered. He also recalled the fall of Solomon, who, he said, had acquired such wisdom and, being praised by everyone, as a morning star that rises at dawn, illuminated all with the light of wisdom. Yet it is fearful to tolerate sloth; but it is necessary to pray constantly, lest another reason should come to mind and cause us not to depart from God, but rather to replace the mind with something else. Only a pure heart, having become a place of the Holy Spirit, sees God Himself in it, just as in a mirror.

            For whoever, at the beginning of his life, does not experience in his heart the sorrow of tears, neither spiritual tears nor the remembrance of endless sufferings, nor true silence, nor ceaseless prayer, nor psalms and instruction in the divine scriptures, whoever does not make this an habit, so that through continuous practice it becomes, through uninterrupted practice, beyond the power of reason, and the fear of God does not reign in his soul: such still remains resting on the fellowship with the world, and cannot have a pure mind in prayer; for only piety and the fear of God purify the soul from its passions and, by making the mind free, lead it to the vision proper to it, and give it the opportunity to touch upon the theology that he sees in the image of bliss (blest is the one whose heart is pure, who will see God). That is, for those who like it, the spiritual disposition is not yet firm.

20. This and more is what the brother who lived with Avva told us. But who will not be astonished at the great humility of this man? Having been conferred upon with the priesthood many years ago, and having entered into the divine mystery with both mind and life, he avoided the divine services as a burden, so that for many years of his ascetic way of life, he would only rarely agree to go to the Holy Communion (for divine services). Yet he did not partake of the Divine Mysteries, despite such a constantly dangerous life, when he had to associate with and converse with people, even though he did not say anything earthly, but only something useful to those who sought to commune with him. And when he intended to partake of the Divine Mysteries, he would torment God with his prayers, hymns, and confessions for a long time. He was afraid of the voice of the priest, who utters the words: “Holy to the holy,” for at that time, he said, the entire church is filled with holy angels, and the King of powers is secretly performing the divine services and transforming the bread and the wine into his body and blood, thus inspiring them in our hearts. Why should we be able in order to become partakers of the enlightenment that sprung from them, fearlessly and purely, and seemingly being outside of the body, to enter into the holy communion of Christ’s divine mysteries, so that we can become partakers of the enlightening illumination that was derived from them. Many of the holy fathers saw holy angels guard them (from everything impious): why then did they act in complete silence, speaking to no one.

31) And here is what the brother said: when the elder needed to sell his crafts, in order not to commit any kind of falsehood, accident, or superfluous word, or any other kind of sin, to avoid talking and bargaining, he pretended to be a madman; and anyone who wanted to buy his crafts took it from him and gave him what he wanted. He made small baskets, and he accepted them with thanksgiving, but without saying it, this simple man.

            2) Before you begin, make a few devotions and do not distract the members.

            3) Find the place of the heart below the left chest, and establish yourself with attention there.

            4) Bring your mind from the head to the heart and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me,” quietly, with the lips, or with one mind, as you find it convenient, do not speak hastily with reverent fear.

            5) Try, as much as you can, to keep your attention and do not take into account any thoughts, neither bad nor good ones.

            6) Have a calm patience, laying down to stand for a long time in forgetfulness of everything.

            7) Keep a moderate moderation and humility done by force.

            8) Keep silent.

            9) After lunch, slowly read the Gospel and the fathers who meditate on inner action and prayer.

            10) Sleep for about 5 or 6 hours a day.

            11) Sometimes, with external prayer, ask for inner actions.

            12) Do not touch hobbies that distract.

            13) Most often, believe your experiences from the instructions of your parents.

            ” Lord! go the strength of my goodness Perhaps, – exclaimed once the prophet David. Shout out, soul of mine: Lord, go the firm resolve and the attachment of my attention! For from You there is both what to want and what to do; let Your help and assistance, having purified the mind and heart through attention, prepare them for Your home, the Trinity!

Final greetings: A traveler’s report

             Минуло вже рік з часу останнього нашого свиданія з мандрівником, як, нарешті, тихий стукіт у двері, і молитовний голос сповістив прихід цього благословенного побратима до сердечного задоволення, що зустрів його.

            – Прийди, дорогій брат! Подякуймо разом Господу, що благословляв шлях і повернення твоє!

            – Слава і подяка Всевишньому Батьку щедрот про все, що не влаштовує Він на Свій погляд, – завжди корисного для нас, мандрівників і прибульців у ” землі чужих “! Ось і я, грішник, розлучившись з Вами минулого року, знову, з Божої милості сподобаюся бачити і чути привітне привітання Ваше. І, звісно, Ви очікуєте від мене докладної розповіді про святе місто Боже – Єрусалимі, куди тягнулася душа моя і простирався незаперечний намір мій; але не завжди виконується те, чого нам хочеться. Так сталося і зі мною, та й не дивно, бо чи мені, убогому грішникові, бути удостоїтися ступати на ту освячену землю, на якій надрукувалися божественні стопи Господа Ісуса Христа?

“And you, matryoshka, remember that last year I left from here with a deaf old man, having a letter from the Irkutsk merchant’s son to his son in Odessa, in order to send me to Jerusalem. So we safely reached Odessa in no time. My companion immediately hired a place on a ship to Constantinople and left, and I, having remained, went in search of the merchant’s son’s letter. Soon I found his apartment, and to my great surprise and regret, I found this benefactor of mine alive: three weeks had passed since he had died of a short illness, and he had been buried. This greatly upset me, but I put myself in the hands of God. The household was in want, the widow of the deceased, left with three young children, was so sad that she kept crying, falling many times a day and suffering; it seemed that she would not live long from such deep sorrow. However, while she had no opportunity, due to their circumstances, to send me to Jerusalem, she left me to stay for two weeks, until the deceased’s father, in accordance with his promise, came to Odessa to handle the affairs, accountancy and arrange the trading business of the orphaned family. So I stayed behind.”Finally, having gone away from Odessa for seventy versts, I came upon a wonderful event: I met a large convoy of goods – thirty carriages, and I overtook them. One of the foreman drivers, like a leader, was riding his horse, and the others, gathered together, were walking in the distance. I had to pass by the spring pond, where the broken-up spring ice was swirling and melting into the water in a terrible noise. Suddenly, the foremost young driver stopped his horse, and the whole convoy came to a stop. The other drivers rushed up to him and saw that he was undressing. They asked him why he was undressing. And they received an answer that he wanted very much to bathe in the pond. The drivers were astonished – some began to laugh at him, others to scold him, calling him mad, and the eldest, the driver’s own brother, who was undressing, began to impede him and push him to ride. He defended himself and would not listen. Some of the young drivers began to pour water from buckets – from which nine horses were drinking – over the one who wanted to bathe – some splashing him on the head, some on his coat, saying: “Here we buy you.” As soon as the water touched his body, he cried: “Ah, how good!” and sat down on the ground, and they still splashed him; then he soon lay down and died quietly. Everyone was terrified, not understanding why this had happened. The elders worried and said that it should be reported to the court, and the others concluded that such a death was written for him at birth.

            – I don’t know what to say to you about this, dear brother, except that there is a lot of wonder and mystery in nature that our minds cannot comprehend. I think that God has arranged this to make the laws of nature more clearly evident in the unnatural and immediate changes of its laws under certain conditions… Once I was a witness to such an event. There is a very deep ravine not far from our village, though not very large; it is even scary to look at its dark bottom. A bridge has been built across it for pedestrians. A peasant from my parish, a family man of good conduct, suddenly felt an irresistible desire to jump from the bridge into the deep pool. For a whole week he struggled against this thought and urge; finally, he could no longer stand this strong urge, and rising early in the morning, he hurried off and jumped into the pond. Shortly afterwards, hearing a shriek, they brought him out of the pond with broken legs. When questioned about the reason for his fall, he replied that although he was now in great pain, he was at peace in his soul, that he had fulfilled his irresistible desire, which had been driving him for a week, so that he was ready to give his life to carry out his desire. For more than a year he was treated at the town hospital; I visited him frequently and, hearing the doctors nearby, wanted to hear from them, as you do, about the cause of this incident. The doctors unanimously told me that it was “rage”. When I asked them to explain the phenomenon from the point of view of science, I heard nothing more from them than that this was a mystery of nature, not yet understood by science… And I noticed from their side that if a person turned to people with such a mysterious force, he would never have achieved his goal. Indeed, in our life there are many encounters that are incomprehensible to reason…

            While we were talking, it became dark, and I stayed there to spend the night. In the morning, the station master sent his clerk to have permission to bury the deceased in the cemetery, and that the doctor had not found any signs of insanity in the body during the autopsy, and that his death was due to a sudden stroke.

            Thus, having said goodbye to the priest, I went on.

While travelling for several days and becoming quite tired, I reached a large market town called “White Church”. As it was already evening, I began to look for a place to spend the night. On the marketplace I met a person who was also a wanderer, asking about the house of a local citizen named Yevreynov. Seeing me, he came up to me and said: “You must be a wanderer too, so let us go together and find this local citizen named Yevreynov. He is a good Christian, he has a rich inn, and he likes to welcome strangers. Here is my note about him.” I agreed gladly, and soon we found Yevreynov. While we did not meet the owner of the house, his wife, a kind old woman, welcomed us and took us to a special room on the loft to rest. Once we had settled in, we had a little time to rest; the master came and invited us to have dinner with him. After dinner, we talked, and somehow the conversation came down to why he is called Yevreynov. “I will tell you a wonderful story about this,” he replied, and began his story. “Here, you can see, my father was a Jew, a native of Shklov, and he was a virulent enemy of Christians. From a young age, he was preparing to become a rabbi and diligently studied all the Jewish fables to disprove Christianity. One day he happened to walk through a Christian cemetery; the next morning he got up, looked around in confusion, and saw an unknown man in front of him, who angrily reproached him, saying: “How dare you mock the mortal remains of my bones? I am a Christian, and you are an enemy of Christ!” This vision happened several times a night, and it deprived him of sleep and peace. He read prayers and incantations over him, but the vision not only did not leave him, but even became more intense and approaching. I was not used to it, but he made such a remark: “I would be glad to do anything you want, just get rid of this painful and unbearable vision.” When he signed the petition, the vision stopped and never bothered him again. He moved to life in this place, married my mother, a pious Christian, and lived a pious life in prosperity;

After dinner, thanking God and the host, we went to our room for a rest. We did not want to sleep yet, and we talked to one of our companions. He told me that he was a merchant from Mogilev, that he had lived for two years in Bessarabia as a novice in one of the monasteries there, but only on a temporary passport, and that now he was going home to obtain eternal release from the merchant’s society into monastic life. He praised the monasteries there, their statutes and regulations, and the strict lives of many pious elders living there, and assured me that the Bessarabian monasteries were opposed to the Russians, as heaven is to earth. He convinced me to go there too. At this time, while we were having these conversations, they brought another lodger to us, an officer who had been released from the army for some time and was going on a home leave. We saw that he was very tired from the journey. After we prayed together to God, we went to sleep. We got up early the next morning, and began to get ready to go on our way. And as soon as we wanted to go to thank the host, we suddenly heard the morning service begin. The merchant and I began to wonder: how can we go, hearing the service and not having visited the church of God? It would be better for us to stay for the evening service, praying in the holy temple, and then it would be more pleasant for us to go. So we decided, and summoned the officer with us. And he said to us: “What procrastination in the road, and what profit for God that we will visit the church? Once we get home, let us pray there! Go wherever you want, and I will not go. While you are waiting for the service, I will go five kilometres ahead, and if you want to come home: call ahead, as God will bring you there!”

            – As it happens! When I said good-bye to you and went away, I felt like going into the inn to exchange the assignation for smaller money and have some drinks so that I could go home easier. I went in, exchanged my money, and flew away like a hawk, on my way. After going three paces, I felt like counting my money to see whether I had paid the innkeeper properly. I sat down to one side, took out my purse, counted it all over, and all was right. Then I grabbed my passport, which was lying there, and it had disappeared; only some notes and a few coins. So I got frightened, as if I had lost my head. And I understood it: of course I had exchanged it when settling up at the inn. I had to run back. I ran, ran, and was afraid that it would come to naught again: where does it even go! I will have all kinds of troubles! When I got there, I asked the innkeeper, and he said, ‘I have not seen it.’ I felt saddened all over again. I am supposed to look for it and walk around in the places where I stood and ran around. And what? Fortunately, I found my passport, as it was folded, and it was lying on the floor among the straw and the garbage, completely ground into a pulp. Praise God! I was happy; it was as if a mountain had fallen off my shoulders! Though roughness and dirt are often punished by a hoof-tap across the teeth, that’s nothing; at least I can return home and back with tears in my eyes. And I came to you to tell you all about this and to ask for a garment to bind the wound, because, running away, I scraped my foot against a hot coal.

And it is true, brother! It is for not obeying and not going with us to pray – the merchant began. – Here you wanted to go far ahead of us, and instead you turned back toward us, and even abused us. I told you not to anticipate, and so it turned out! Not only did you not go to church, but you also said such words: “Why is it for the benefit of God that we pray?” Brother, this is not good… Of course, God does not need our sinful prayer, but, out of His love for us, He likes it when we pray. And not only the sacred prayer, which the Holy Spirit himself helps us to offer and inspires us, is pleasing to Him, because He requires it from us, and commands: “Remain in me, and I in you.” But He values every small cause that we do for Him, every intention for our salvation, every encouragement. For all this, God’s boundless mercy rewards generously. God’s love gives a thousand times more grace than the worth of our human deeds; if you make a small contribution to God, He will give you gold. If you are only about to go to the Father, He is already coming to meet you. You say a short and dry word: “Accept me! Forgive me!” And He is already embracing your neck and folding you. That is the love of the Heavenly Father for us, unworthy of Him! And out of this very love He rejoices and is grateful for every small saving movement of ours. It seems to you: what glory will God have from that, and what benefit for you, if you pray a little and then again amuse yourself, or even do some insignificant good deed, for example, read a prayer, do five or ten bows; sigh from your heart and call on the name of Jesus Christ, or notice a good thought, or decide to read something salvific, or abstain from food, or withstand a small insult in silence… All this seems to you insufficient for your complete salvation and as if it were fruitless. No! every one of these small deeds will not be lost in oblivion, but will be counted up by the all-seeing Eye of God and receive a hundredfold reward not only in eternity, but also in this life. This is what Saint John Chrysostom says. “No good, he says, how small it may be, will be despised by the righteous Judge. If sins are examined with such minute detail that we shall give an account of our words, our wishes and thoughts, then the most virtuous acts, however small they may be, will be counted up with particular care and will receive a just reward.”

            I will give you an example that I myself saw last year. There was an old black monk living in the Bessarabian monastery. Once he was tempted and wanted to eat dried fish. And since it was impossible to get it in the monastery at that time, he meant to go to the market and buy … After a long struggle with this thought and reasoning that a monk must be content with the common brotherly meal and try to avoid greed, and that it is also inappropriate for a monk to walk around the market among the crowd of people. At last, the insidious slander subdued his reasoning, and he, resorting to insolence, risked going for the fish. Having left the monastery and walked down the busy street, he noticed that he did not have the chotok in his hands, and he began to think: “How will I go as a warrior without a sword? It is improper, and the worldly people will rebuke me and be tempted when they see a monk without a chotok.” He wanted to turn and take them, but when he looked in his pockets, he found them there. He took them out, crossed himself, put his hand on them and went on quietly. As he approached the market, he saw a horse standing near the stalls with a huge cart full of large baskets. Suddenly, the horse, frightened of something, started running away with all its might and beating its hooves; it hit the horse and, grabbing it by the shoulder, threw it to the ground, without breaking it very badly. The cart carrying the baskets, which was a few steps behind him, suddenly fell over and the contents flew apart. Getting up quickly, he was of course frightened, but at the same time surprised at how God had preserved his life, because if the cart had fallen a little earlier, he would have been crushed to pieces, like the cart. Without thinking about it further, he bought the fish, returned, ate, and, after praying, went to sleep … In a dream, a stranger appeared before him, a noble old man, who said: “Listen, I am the patron of this monastery and I want to enlighten you so that you can understand and remember the lesson that struggles with sensual pleasure and laziness lead to the ability to understand and sacrifice oneself, which gave the enemy an opportunity to attack you and he had prepared an ending accident for you that exploded before your eyes. If you had listened to it and explained it as it really was, then it was this that saved you from death. Saying this, the old man who appeared rushed out of the cell, and the monk bowed before him and fell asleep with his hands stretched out by the entrance door. He immediately told us this vision for the benefit of the spiritual life of many people, including me.”

Indeed, the boundless love of God for us, sinners! How strange that for such a small matter, for setting a shoe mitten in his pocket and putting it on his hand and calling the name of God once, the smallest bit is given in exchange for life! And on the scales of human destiny, one brief moment of the calling of Jesus Christ outweighed many hours of laziness… In truth, here a small offering is given – gold… Can you see, brother, how strong is prayer and how powerful is the name of Jesus, whom we call! St. John of Karpafatsk in the book Benevolence says that when we call the name of Jesus in prayer and say: “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” then on each such request there is the secret voice of God: “Child, your sins are forgiven!” Prayer, however, is not different from saints, ascetics, and martyrs, because, as St. Zlatoust said, “a prayer, even if it is uttered by the sinners, immediately purifies.”

He took a book from his pocket and began to read a wonderful story about a pious man named Agathonikos who, from childhood, was taught by his pious parents to say the prayer “Hail Mary” and other prayers daily in front of the icon of the Mother of God. He did this every day. Then, as he grew up, he began to live on his own and, preoccupied with worldly affairs, seldom said the prayer, and finally stopped it altogether. One evening he took in a traveler to spend the night with him. The traveler told him that he was a hermit from Phavia and had a vision to go to Agathonikos and reproach him for abandoning the prayer to the Blessed Virgin. Agathonikos explained his reason for abandoning the prayer as having said it for many years and seeing no benefit from it. The hermit then said to him: “Remember, foolish and ungrateful, how many times this prayer has helped you and saved you from various misfortunes. An acquaintance of yours fell off a cart once and broke his leg, but you were unharmed. And he mentioned many other instances in which the prayer had spared Agathonikos from harm. Finally, he said to him, “Know that all these events were averted from you by the intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, because of the short prayer that you daily offered your soul for union with God . . . Keep on, continue it, and do not forsake it, for it is abandoned.”After that I walked for five days, enjoying the remembrance of the stories I had heard from the pious merchant from the White City; then I was already approaching Kiev, when suddenly, out of the blue, I felt a burden, a feeling of relaxation and dark thoughts; prayer was difficult, a sense of confusion came over me. Therefore, in order to rest, having seen a forest and thicket on the side of the road, I turned there, sat down in a secluded hut and read ‘The Love to Godliness translated by Matyas Zmist’ to refresh my weak soul and calm my cowardice. Having found a silent town, I began to read St. Cassian of Rome, in 4 parts of ‘The Love to Godliness’ about the eight thoughts. Having read for half an hour with joy, I suddenly saw a man six feet away from me, standing motionless on his knees. I was delighted at this, thinking that of course he was praying to God, and again began to read. Having read for an hour or more, I looked at this man again, and he still stood motionless on his knees. This was very touching to me, and I thought, ‘Here are some pious servants of God.’ While I was thinking about this, suddenly this man fell to the ground and lay down humbly. This surprised me and, not seeing his face, because he was standing on his knees facing me, I was curious to go and see what kind of person he was. Approaching, I found him in a thick fog. He was a country boy of 25 years, clean-faced and noble, but pale with himself, in a peasant coat, tied with a string of rubbish, and there was nothing else near him – neither a sack, nor even a stick. Hearing the noise of my arrival, he woke up and got up. I asked him who he was. He told me that he was an official peasant from the Smolensk province, going from Kiev.

            – You see, I grew up in our village as an orphan, and for 10 years everything was fine. Finally, one day, after driving the herd home, I didn’t realize that the best ewe was gone. And our eldest was a cruel and inhuman man. When he came home in the evening and saw that his ewe was missing, he came to me, started scolding me and threatening that I would go and find his ewe, or he would kill me until I died, break my arms and legs. Having known that he was so cruel, I went looking for the ewe in the places where the flock grazed during the day. I searched and searched, searched late into the night, but nowhere could I find her. The night was dark because it was autumn. As soon as I entered the depths of the forest, which is impassable in our province, a storm suddenly arose. It seemed as if the trees were all stumbling! Wolves howled in the distance, and I felt such fear that my hair stood on end; the further I went, the worse it got, and I felt like fainting from fear and terror. That’s when I fell on my knees, crossed myself, and with all my strength said: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.” The moment I said this, suddenly it became light and I felt no more grief or fear. I felt so good in my heart as if I had flown to heaven… I was fascinated by this, and I couldn’t stop saying this prayer. And I don’t even remember how long the storm lasted, and how the night passed, but I looked and it was already daylight, and I was standing in the same place on my knees. That’s when I stood up calmly, and I saw that I couldn’t find the ewe, so I went home, and I felt so good in my heart I still wanted to say my prayers. As soon as I came into the village, the eldest, seeing that I hadn’t brought the ewe, beat me to death; that’s when he broke my leg. That’s why I spent six weeks almost paralyzed after these beats, but I knew that I was saying prayers, and they comforted me. Then I slowly recovered, and I began to wander around the world; but since I found it boring to constantly jostle with people, and there was so much sin, I went to walk among the holy places and the forests. That’s how I have been wandering for a year now.

            Hearing this, I was cheerful in my soul that the Lord had allowed me to see such a blessed person, and I asked her: “Do you often practice this prayer now?”

            – No, it can’t be without that, – he replied, as soon as I remember how good I felt in the forest, as if someone pushed me to my knees, and I will pray… I don’t know if my sinful prayer is approved, because while I pray, I sometimes feel great joy, and I don’t know why, ease, and sadness; but at the same time I always want to pray until I die.

            Not to worry, dear Brother: everything is permissible to God and everything is salutary, no matter what is done during prayer, say the Holy Fathers, whether ease or difficulty – everything is good; no prayer, neither good nor bad, is lost before God. Lightness, warmth and enjoyment show that God rewards and delights in this deed, and heaviness, gloominess, dryness mean that God purifies and strengthens the soul and by this useful endurance saves it, preparing it with humility for the future joyful enjoyment. Here is proof of this: I will read to you from St. John the Lesser.

I found this article here and read it to him. He listened attentively and with pleasure, and thanked me very much for it. So we took leave of each other. He went deep into the forest, and I went back on the road, by the grace of God who has enabled me, a sinner, to receive such an instruction.

The next day, by the grace of God, I arrived in Kiev. My first and main desire was to speak, confess and take Holy Communion in this place of grace, and therefore I settled closer to the God’s friends, so that it would be more convenient to walk to the church of God. I was welcomed into the house of a good old Cossack, and as he lived alone, it was calm and serene for me. Throughout the week in which I prepared for confession, I had the thought that I should confess as much detail as possible. I began to recall and consider all my sins from my youth in the least detail, so that I would not forget them; I began to write down everything I remembered, to the smallest detail, and I wrote a long leaflet. I felt that 7 verst from Kiev, in Kytyevaya Pustelya, there is a priest of ascetic life who is very wise and prudent, and to whom no one who is not on the spirit comes to his consciousness, but who returns with a saving instruction and lightness of heart. This greatly comforted me, and I immediately went to him. After consultation and conversation, I handed him my leaflet for consideration. After reading it, he said to me: “Dear friend, you have written a lot of nothing. Listen: 1) you should not speak on confession of those sins in which you have previously repented and have been forgiven and have not repeated them, otherwise it will be distrust of the power of the sacrament of confession; 3) the Holy Fathers forbid you to speak of sins with all their ramifications and to confess them in general, so as not to provoke temptations in yourself and in the priest by a private review of them; you have read everything, but the most important thing is that you have ignored the most serious sins, you have not realized and written down that you do not love God, you hate your neighbor, you do not believe the word of God and you are full of pride and ambition in all your sins, there is a whole abyss of evil, and all the branches of our sins are there.

            – It is a pity, dear one, that you have understood so little of what I have explained to you. To teach you more quickly, here I give you a list, which I myself always confess to. Read it, and you will clearly see the exact proofs of what I have just told you.

            The priest gave me the list, and I began to read it.

Confession of the inner man, leading to humility

            “Attentively looking at myself and observing the course of my inner state, I have experienced with conviction that I do not love God, do not have love for my neighbour, do not believe in anything religious, and am full of pride and self-love. All this I truly find in myself through a detailed examination of my feelings and actions,

1) I do not love God. Because if I loved Him, I would constantly think about Him with heartfelt pleasure; every thought of God would bring me joyful pleasure. On the contrary, I think about worldly things much more often and more eagerly; the thought of God is work and dullness for me. If I loved Him, communion with Him through prayer would nourish me, bring me joy, and compel me to constant communication with Him; but, on the contrary, I not only do not enjoy prayer, but when engaged in it, I feel labor, resist laziness, drift into idleness, and am eager to pursue something meaningless in order to shorten or abandon prayer. In vain employments, time passes unnoticed, but when engaged in God, when I put myself in His presence, each hour seems to me like a lifetime. Whoever loves someone, thinks about him constantly during the day, imagines him, cares for him, and, even in all his busy occupations, his beloved friend does not leave his thoughts. And I hardly separate a single hour during the day to deeply immerse myself in thoughts about God and engulf myself in His love, while I willingly offer ardent sacrifices to my passionate idols! I am dry, sad, and lazy. If I am involuntarily absorbed in other things for a conversation about the divine, I try to quickly move on to a conversation that pleases my passions. I eagerly search for news, for civil provisions, for political events; I eagerly seek to satisfy my curiosity in the secular sciences, in the arts, in acquisitions, while the teachings of the Law of the Lord, knowledge of God, religion, do not make an impression on me, do not nourish my soul, and I consider it not only a futile occupation for a Christian, but a kind of extraneous and only extraneous time, on my spare time. In short, if the love of God is known by the fulfillment of His commandments: “If you love Me, keep My commandments,” says the Lord Jesus Christ, and I not only do not keep His commandments, but even make little effort to do so, then the clearest truth is that I do not love God… This is “proof that a person does not love God and His Christ: if they do not keep His commandments” (N. E. V. 3).3) I do not believe in anything religious. Nor do I believe in immortality, nor in the Gospel. If I were thoroughly convinced and absolutely certain that there is eternal life with a reward for earthly deeds, I would constantly think about it; the very thought of immortality horrified me, and I would have regarded this life as a wanderer preparing to enter his homeland. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity, and I consider the end of a real life as the limit of my existence. A secret thought is lurking in me: who knows what will happen after death? If I say that I believe in immortality, it is only with reason, and my heart is far from having firm conviction in it, as my actions and constant concern for the good order of sensual life clearly show. If the holy Gospel were to be accepted with faith in my heart, I would constantly study it, delight in it, and look at it with profound reverence. The wisdom, goodness and love contained in it would fascinate me, I would delight in the teachings of the Law of God day and night, feed on it as daily food, and be deeply drawn to its rules. Nothing earthly would so strongly divert me from this. On the contrary, if I occasionally read or listen to the word of God, it is either for convenience, or out of curiosity, and without attending deeply to it, I feel dryness, barrenness, and, as if reading it ordinarily, I leave it without any fruit and am readily willing to replace it with reading about worldly matters.

        When I had read these things to my spiritual confessor, I was terrified and thought to myself: ‘My God, what terrible sins lie hidden within me, and I have not even noticed them!’ So, my desire to cleanse them drove me to ask for advice from this great priest spiritually, so as to find a way to overcome them. And so he began to explain to me.

        – Do you see, dear brother, the reason for our hatred of God is unbelief, the reason for unbelief is unconviction, and the reason for unconviction is a lack of knowledge of the truth – carelessness about spiritual enlightenment. In short, we cannot love if we do not believe; we cannot believe until we are convinced. And in order to be convinced, it is necessary to acquire a full and solid knowledge of the subject in question; it is necessary, with the help of reflection, the study of God’s word and experienced observations, to arouse a feeling of thirst and desire, or as others say, a ‘surprise’ that drives us to want to know things more deeply and to penetrate their properties more closely.

        One spiritual writer reflects on this in the following way: ‘Love’, he says, ‘inevitably develops through knowledge, and the more depth and scope there is in knowledge, the more love there will be, and the more easily the soul can relax and turn to the divine love, by diligently studying the perfect and infinite divine person.’

        Now, you see, the reason for the sins you have read is negligence in considering spiritual matters, which douses the feeling of need. If you wish to learn the means to overcome this evil, then do your best to enlighten your soul, by diligently studying the word of God, the teachings of the holy Fathers – meditations and spiritual advice or conversation with wise men about Christ. Oh, dear brother, how many evils we encounter as a result of our laziness in enlightening our soul with the word of truth, of not studying the law of the Lord day and night, and of not praying diligently and persistently for this! And as a result, our inner being is dull, cold and exhausted, lacking the strength to walk the path of truth to salvation. So, in order to use these means, let us resolve to fill our minds with thoughts about heavenly matters as often as possible, and the love that flows down onto our hearts will develop and ignite within us. At the same time, let us pray as often as possible, for prayer is the most important means and the strongest means for our renewal and success. Let us pray as the Holy Church teaches: ‘Lord, help me now to love you, as sometimes the same sin loves you!’.

With all due respect, having listened to all this, I humbly asked this holy father to baptize me and grant me the sacraments of Christ. So, in the morning, after having received communion, I wanted to return to Kiev with this blessed blessing, but this kind father, who intended to go to the Lavra in a few days, left me for the time being in his desert cell so that I could freely go to prayer in this silence. And indeed, all these days I spent as if in heaven: with the prayers of my elder brother, I, unworthy as I am, enjoyed complete tranquility. Prayer flowed so easily and peacefully into my heart that I seemed to have forgotten everything and myself, thinking only of Jesus Christ alone!

Finally, the spiritual father returned, and I asked him for guidance and advice on where to continue my journey. He blessed me thus: “Go to Pochaev, bow at the Miraculous Icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and she will direct your footsteps on the road of peace.” So, with faith, I accepted his counsel and, after three days, set out for Pochaev.

I did not walk without fatigue, for the road lay through taverns and Jewish hamlets, and Christian dwellings were rarely encountered. In one village I saw a Russian Christian inn, and, rejoicing at it, I went there to spend the night and ask for bread for the road, since my crackers were nearly exhausted. Here I saw the host – an old man, probably wealthy – and heard that he was from our province. When I entered the parlour, his first question was: “What kind of religion do you follow?”

I replied that I followed the Orthodox Christian faith.

&8211; What are you, Orthodox? – he said with a smile, “In your province you are only Orthodox in your language, but your practice is heretically customary. I know your religion, brother! I was seduced by an educated priest and came to your church, where I stayed for six months, and then returned. Serving God is a sin! The chants in the villages are no better than in taverns; for the service of God, they are only a noise and are spoken without understanding; and the singing is no better than in taverns; for the service of God, they are only a noise and are spoken without understanding; and for the service of God, they are only a noise and are spoken without understanding; and for the service of God, they are only a noise and are spoken without understanding; and for the service of God, they are only a noise and are spoken without understanding; and for the service

Then he wanted to leave and went to the back yard, when he unexpectedly saw a person in a special room reading a book through the open door. He beckoned me to him and asked who I was. I told him. Here he began to speak: “Listen, dear, would you please help me, being ill, for a week until I am healed by the grace of God? Refuse, servant of God!”

– If you want, he said, then I will tell you (and somehow cited an authority, because he said he was studying at the Academy of Athens) about the intonation of the Jesus prayer.

           Now look: the prayer is the same; Orthodox Christians hold the same faith; the general concept that this most important and highest of all prayers contains two objects – the Lord Jesus and His mercy is common to all. Why then do not all express it in the same tone, that is, in the pronunciation? Why is it that at different places the soul is particularly moved and appears in a particularly elevated and tense tone? Many may say that this is due to practice or example taken from others, or to a concept corresponding to each person’s different view, or finally, to whoever is easier and more convenient to pronounce, according to his ability to speak … And I think quite differently. I would like to look here for something higher, something unknown not only to the uninitiated, but also to the one who prays himself – is there not a mysterious movement of the Holy Spirit here, which “murmurs inaudible sighs”, in the uninitiated: how and what to pray? And if each prays in the Name of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit, following the Apostle’s word, then the mysteriously active Risen Spirit, “pray for those who pray”, simultaneously to this one’s unwilling force can give him a favor: another has holy fear of God, another has love and another has firmness. And therefore, the one who has received a gift can worship and glorify the state of the Almighty, and in his prayer expresses with special feeling and delight the word “Lord”, in which he understands the greatness and power of the Creator of the world. The one who has received the mysterious influx of love into his heart is predominantly captivated and enthralled by the delight of the outcry “Jesus Christ”, similar to an old man without a special feeling of love and delight was not able to hear the name “Jesus” even in ordinary conversation. The one who firmly believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ, who is consubstantial with God the Father, shivers and even more firmly believes in the faith by uttering the words “Son of God”. The one who has received the gift of humility and consciously realizes his own powerlessness when he says “have mercy on me”, is writhing, humbling himself, and with a preponderant tension, breaks over at the last words of the Lord Jesus’ prayer, nourishing the hope of God’s mercy and rubbing his own fall. These are the reasons, as I think, for the difference in intonation in the pronunciation of the prayer in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ! .. And from this observation, I can understand (to God’s glory and for my own instruction), who is particularly possessed by the person and who has a spiritual gift. Some said to me: “Why then are not all these signs of mysterious spiritual gifts manifested together, in their entirety? Then not one, but every word of the prayer would be imbued with the monotonous, excited intonation of the one who prays … “I responded to this as follows: “Because the grace of God distributes the gifts of the Most Precious Scripture, who can experience this and enter into the domain of grace with a limited mind?

           &nbs p; I spent five days with this old man, and he gradually began to recover his health. This period was instructive for me, for I did not notice how it flew by, because in this hut, as if in a silent prison, we did absolutely nothing but prayed in secret, invoking the name of Jesus Christ, or talked about only one subject, i.e.

             Somehow, a god-seeking man came to us and complained, lamented and cursed the Jews, whose villages he had passed through and suffered from their tricks and deceit. He was so bitter toward them that he cursed them and even considered them unworthy to live on earth because of their stubbornness and despair, and finally said that he had an irreconcilable aversion to them. After listening to him, this old man began to teach him:

             “In vain, my friend,” he said, “you so curse and curse the Jews; they are children of God just like us, we should grieve for them and pray for them, not curse them. Believe me, your hatred of them comes from the fact that you are not grounded in the love of God and do not have an inward prayer, and that you do not have an inward prayer. I will read this to you in the holy fathers. Listen what Marc the ascetic writes: “A soul that has been united with God within itself becomes, from the great joy, like an unavenged and simple-hearted child and no longer condemns anybody, neither Greek nor Jew, neither Jew nor Roman, neither Roman nor Roman, neither Roman nor Roman, nor Roman nor Roman, nor Roman nor Roman, not being able to distinguish between the uncircumcised and the uncircumcised, not being able to distinguish between the uncircumcised and the circumcised, not being able to distinguish between the uncircumcised and the circumcised, not being able to distinguish between the uncircumcised and

            Among them all, Greeks, Jews, and Gentiles extol the Divine Regent.” The Great Macarius of Egypt says that the internal beholders “with love light up, and if it were possible, if you wanted to, they would all carry everyone within himself, with no distinction between good or evil.” That is why I advise you, having put aside your hatred, to look at everything as if it were under the good will of the all-knowing God, and whenever you encounter sufferings, to weigh yourself with a lack of patience and humility first of all.”

             Finally, more than a week had passed. The old man had recovered, and I thanked him sincerely for all his good instructions and said goodbye to him. He went back to his place, and I continued my way.

Here I began to approach Pochaev. Before reaching a hundred versts, a soldier caught up with me. I asked him where he was going; he told me that he was going home to the Kam’yanets-Podillya province. For ten versts, walking with him in silence, I noticed that he was sighing heavily, as if he was lamenting something, and he was very sullen. I asked him: “Why are you so sad?” And he began to approach me and say: “Good man! If you have noticed my sadness, then fight hard and swear that you will not tell anyone, and I will tell you all about myself, because death is coming for me, and there is no one to consult.”

            When he finished his story, he said: “Can you still see me, or not?” He answered, “I was given to the soldiers from the gentry peasants. After serving for five years, I became overwhelmed, and was often beaten for misconduct and drunkenness. I even decided to run away. Now it’s been eighteen years on the run. For six years I hid and hid here and there; I broke horses and stole goods, and sold them to various cats. I met a soldier who was going home to a distant province with a clean discharge. My soldier died and rotted. He went bravely to the distant Astrakhan province. There I became sober and started working as a laborer. Drinking, my wife too, and in a year we spent everything that remained from the old man. Once, when I was unable to make a living, I took my old shabby horse into the thicket and sold it for a penny to a tavern owner. And I went into the forest to wait for night. When I lay down there, I fell into a deep sleep. My head and hands were left out. Then this wicked cloud seemed to descend to the ground, and my old grandfather, who had died twenty years ago, came out of it. Several bags of things I had stolen at various times. I was even more afraid. Tug at him harder! “
And suddenly the ground began to squeeze and compress me so strongly from all sides that I could not bear the pain, the pressure and the exhaustion, and I cried out: “Have mercy! Tug at him even harder!” And I felt such a strong pain and pressure that no torture in the world could compare to it. Finally, this old grandfather brought my horses near me, which I had stolen the day before, and shouted, “What is this? Tug at him as intensely as possible!” And I felt such a terrible pain and pressure on all sides that I could not bear it and would fall unconscious if this torture had even a little bit subsided. My body was shaken, and my cheek was torn. In that moment, when this blow defeated me, I woke up in a horror that I did not know, and, drenched in fear, I barely got up and went home. The fever in me lasted a long time, you see, and now there is a scar that was not there before. I was afraid of people and ashamed more and more often, as if everyone knew my former swindling. So, in agony, I wanted to throttle myself. But as it came to mind that I had little time to live and would soon die, because all my strength was gone, I decided to go and say goodbye to my homeland and die there. What should I do? After all, my patience is not enough!

        Having heard all this, I was amazed at myself, and praised God’s wisdom and goodness, seeing how He turns sinners by various means, and began to tell him: “Brother!”

        He answered, “It’s not possible, he said to me, “I think that if I start praying, God will immediately mess me up.”

— Neither brother! These thoughts are burned into your soul by the devil. God is infinitely merciful and compassionate with sinners, and he forgives those who repent soon. After all, you know the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ Say this prayer constantly and without a break.

— How could I not know this prayer! Once, I also stole things, and sometimes I read it with all my might, just to find the courage to commit my wrongdoing faithfully. But consider now: God did not punish me even when, upon committing my iniquity, I said this prayer. Can God condemn me if I continue to pray it in my journey of repentance? Now you see that your thoughts are misplaced! .. Trust me, dear brother: if you say this prayer, despite whatever thoughts might cross your mind, you will soon find peace of mind; all your worries and burdens will go away, and you will become a more subdued person. I assure you of this, because I have seen it many times in practice.

While talking, I told him a few examples of how the Lord’s Prayer has had miraculous power over sinners. Finally, I told him that he should come with me to the Most Holy Mother of God, who is the refuge of sinners, and confess and receive Holy Communion. He listened to all this carefully, and it was clear that he was happy and keen to do so. So he agreed to everything. We went to Pochaiv together, on the condition that while we were there, we did not talk to each other, but prayed the Lord’s Prayer incessantly. We walked like that for a whole day. The next day, he told me that he felt better – he was more peaceful than before. On the third day, we arrived in Pochaiv, and I once again convinced him to continue praying the Lord’s Prayer, day and night, without pausing until he fell asleep. At the same time, I reminded him that the Most Holy Name of Jesus is unbearable to His enemies, and will certainly save him. I also read from “The Work of Mercy” the prayer, which is especially recommended when we prepare for receiving the Holy Communion of Christ’s Sacred Mysteries. He did this, and the next day he confessed and communicated. Although his thoughts did not cease, but were constantly attacked, he managed to shake them off with the Lord’s Prayer. On Sunday, in order to be able to get up easier, he went to bed earlier so that he could continue praying the Lord’s Prayer, while I stayed in a corner, reading “The Work of Mercy” with my nocturnal lamp. After a while, he fell asleep, but after about twenty minutes he woke up dramatically, stood up and with tears in his eyes he ran up to me and, rejoicing, said: “Oh, brother, what did I just see?! It is so easy and pleasant now! I believe that God does not torture, but rather has mercy on sinners. Glory to You, O Lord! Glory to You!”

            I was surprised and delighted at this; I asked him to tell me in detail what had happened to him.

            – This is what happened: as soon as I fell asleep, I found myself on the very meadow where I had been tortured. At first I was frightened, but I saw that instead of a cloud a clear sun was rising, a wonderful light shone over the entire meadow, and I saw red flowers and grass on it. Suddenly, my grandfather approached me, who was so handsome that I couldn’t believe it, and spoke to me gently and warmly: “Go to Zhytomyr to St. George the Victorious’ church; they will take you there as a church porter; live here until the end of your life and pray without stopping; God will have mercy on you!” Having said this, he crossed himself, and in that moment he disappeared. I felt such joy that I couldn’t describe it, as if something had fallen away from me, and I had flown to heaven… With this, I suddenly woke up, feeling light-hearted and with my heart not knowing what to do with joy. Now what should I do? I am going to Zhytomyr right away, as my grandfather had told me. It will be easy for me to go with prayer!”

            – Forgive me, dear brother, where are you going at midnight? Pray at least the morning service! Pray and be with God. So we didn’t sleep, but after this conversation we went to church. He prayed diligently with tears during the whole morning and said that it was very easy and joyful for him, and the Jesus prayer was done with delight. Then, after lunch, I accompanied him to the Zhytomyr road, where we said goodbye with tears and joy.

            After this, I began to reflect on myself and thought about where to go now. In the end, I decided to return to Kiev. This was prompted by the wise advice of my confessor there, and the thought that, having lived with him, he might find some Christ-loving benefactors to send me to Jerusalem or at least to Mount Athos. So, after spending another week in Pochaiv, spending time in remembrance of the instructive meetings I had seen on my way, and transcribing some instructive topics, I set out on the road, put on my backpack, and went to church to bow down to the Mother of God and pray at lunch.

And he stood behind the church. Suddenly, a person came out, though not very well dressed, but who looked like a nobleman, and asked me where candles were sold. I pointed out the place. The lady went away, and I stayed to pray at the foot of the Virgin Mary. I prayed and started on my way. After walking a little on the street, I saw an open window in a house, and there sat a gentleman reading a book. I did not like to pass by this window, and I saw the one who had asked me about the candles in the church. I took off my hat as I walked by, and he motioned me to come and asked: “Are you a traveler?” and called me to him and asked who I was and where I was going. Then he brought me some tea and said: “Listen, little boy! I am traveling along the same path and am going on foot on a promise. That is good.”I greatly liked his reasoning and his desire for prayer, and I asked him: “What specific Gospel instruction do you draw your teaching on prayer from?” – From all four of the Evangelists, he replied, with words from the whole of the New Testament, reading it in order. After reading it for a long time and studying it, it became clear to me what the gradual evolution and correct sequence of teaching on prayer is throughout the Gospel, beginning with the first Evangelist and proceeding in a correct order (in the system). For example, the introduction to the teaching on prayer is first given, then its form or external expression in words, then the condition necessary for prayer, the means of how to practice it, and examples. Finally, the secret teaching on interior, spiritual, unceasing prayer in the name of Jesus Christ is presented as being higher and more beneficial than the formual prayer; then its necessity, its good fruits, and so on. In short, a complete understanding of the practice of prayer is systematically outlined in the Gospel from beginning to end.He willingly agreed to this and said to me: “Open your Gospel, look into it and note what I am going to say” (he gave me a pencil). Please look at these notes. – Here find, he began to say, first the sixth chapter of the Gospel according to Matthew and read it from verse eight to verse nine (Mt. VI, 5-9). Do you see here a preparation for prayer, or an introduction that teaches not to begin praying either to be indulged in or with noise, but in a secluded place and in silence, and to pray only for the forgiveness of our sins, and about being united with God, not making various and unnecessary requests about life’s necessities. Then continue reading the same chapter from verse eight to verse fourteen (Mt. VI, 9-14). Here the formula of prayer is presented, i.e. the words in which it should be pronounced. It wisely combines everything necessary and suitable for our life. Then continue reading verses 14 and 15 of the same chapter and you will see the condition that must be observed in order for prayer to be effective, because without forgiveness by us the Lord will not forgive our sins. Having moved on to the seventh chapter, you will find from verse seven to verse twelve methods for success in prayer and acceptance in hope: “ask, seek, knock”; this reinforced expression describes the frequency of prayer and the predominant exercise in it so that prayer not only accompanies us in all our activities, but even exceeds them in time. This is the most important attribute of prayer … An example of this frequency of prayer can be seen in chapter 14 of the Gospel of Mark, from verse 32 to verse 40, where Jesus Christ himself repeats the same prayer many times. A similar example of the frequency of prayer is also given by the Evangelist Luke (Lk. XI, 5-14) in the parable of the second petitioner, as well as in the Gospel of the widow who keeps harping on a judge (Lk. XVIII, 1-15), depicting Jesus Christ’s commands that one should always, by all means, not be discouraged.•            After this fundamental teaching, the secret of inner prayer, the essence of which is revealed in the Gospel according to John, is further expounded, firstly, in the wise account of the conversation between Jesus Christ and the Samaritan woman, in which the inner worship of God in the spirit and truth that God wants, and that is continuous and never ceasing, is revealed. (John IV, 5-25). Further on, in chapter 15, from verse 4 to verse 8, the power, strength and necessity of inner prayer, that is, of the soul in Christ, in perpetual remembrance of God, are shown more clearly. Finally, read chapter 16 of that same Gospel, from verse 23 to verse 25. Look, what mystery is revealed here! Do you see that the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, or the so-called Jesus Prayer, that is, the prayer: Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, when repeated often and many times, has great power and purifies the heart more easily. This can be seen by example. The apostles, who had been disciples of the Lord Jesus for many years and had already been taught the prayer of the Lord, that is, ”Our Father,“ and which we know from them, but at the end of His earthly life, Jesus Christ revealed to them the secret that they were still lacking in their prayer in order that it might be decisive. He said to them: “So far you have not asked anything in My name. If you ask anything from the Father in My name, He will give it to you.” This is what happened with them, for after they had learned to pray in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and how many wonderful miracles they performed, and how brightly they themselves were illuminated! Now can you see the link and the completeness of the teaching on prayer, so wisely expounded in the Holy Gospel? If we now move on to reading the Apostolic Letters, we will also find a consistent teaching on prayer there. 

In this way, by studying the Holy Scriptures in depth and attentively, we can discover many more hidden secrets of divine knowledge that escape from frequent or cursory reading of the Word of God. Did you notice from what I just said how admirably and how consistently, that is, in a mysterious systematic pattern, the New Testament of our Lord Jesus Christ reveals its teachings on this subject that we have just come across? In what amazing order does it present its teaching on all four Evangelists? For example: in St. Matthew we find an attack or the beginning of prayer, its form, conditions, etc.; moving on, in St. Mark we find examples; in St. Luke, parables, and in St. John the secret exercise in inner prayer, although in all four Evangelists (shorter or longer) it can all be found. In Acts, we see the practice and consequences of prayer; in the Apostolic Epistles, as well as in the Apocalypse itself, many accessories are inextricably linked to the matter of prayer!.. That is why I am content with just one Evangelist in my study of all the ways of salvation.

Throughout these lessons, he pointed out and explained everything to me, and I noted all the significant places in my Gospel, which I had with my Bible. All this seemed very wonderful and instructive, and I thanked him for it a lot.

Then we walked in silence for another five days. There were health problems with this companion of mine, probably due to the discomfort of prolonged walking, and so he hired a boat pair and took me with him. Thus we reached your borders and stopped here for three days, to rest and then head straight for Anzer, which he badly wanted to go to.

– Your companion is wonderful! He must be very learned, thanks to his piety. I would like to meet him.

– We live on the same floor; I will probably take him to you tomorrow. But it is late now… Excuse me!

Sixth meeting

One brother helps another, for the city is strong and high; it is fortified like a kingdom established by the Lord. (Ecclesiastes XVIII, 19).

        – It was with the intention of encouraging you in this same spirit of trust and obligation that I brought both of you with me yesterday. And now, my dear friends, I am very pleased to see you both and to hear your wise counsel, which I hope will benefit us all. The bonds of Jesus Christ are sealed by the presence of two or three who have assembled in His name, and I am glad to tell you that eight of us have gathered together in His name. The more surely will His grace abound upon us! 

        I am very happy to see you and to hear you speak. In His name, and according to His will, my dear brother, I welcome you and your spiritual companions. May the Lord give us this great gift: to be the heirs of His grace! And may you be the ones who pass on this blessed truth to your brethren and sisters in the Church!

            – The gracious Lord, who desires that all men should be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, revealed to me this knowledge, in a wonderful manner without any human intermediary, by His great grace. For fifteen years I was a professor at the Lyceum, following the dark paths of dissipation and indulging in intemperate philosophy along the paths of the world, instead of following Christ; and if it had not been for the support of something that I lived with my pious mother and my dear sister, in the boulevard …, I would have perished altogether. There, on the boulevard, I met and became acquainted with a charming young man who declared himself to be a Frenchman, an authenticate student who had recently arrived from Paris and was seeking a place as a tutor. I was delighted with his great intelligence, and I invited him to stay with me as a visitor and we became friends. For two months he often visited me, and we sometimes took walks together, went out windsurfing, and took part in society, of course, only the most moral kind. Finally, he came to me with an invitation to join one of the above-mentioned societies, and to convince me more quickly, he began to praise the special fun and pleasure of the place to which he was inviting me. After saying a few words about this, he suddenly asked me to leave my office, where we were sitting, and sit in the drawing room. This struck me as strange, and I, having already repeatedly noticed his reluctance to be in my office, asked him what the reason was. And further, because the drawing room was near my mother and sister’s room, it would have been inappropriate to talk about futile subjects there. He maintained his wish with various arguments, and finally said to me frankly: “There is an Evangelion on this shelf among your books; I respect this book so much that it is difficult for me to be in the presence of the discussion about our scattered subjects. Please take it out of here, and then we will. “With my sincerity, I smiled at his words and took the Evangelion from the shelf, saying, “You should have told me this long ago!” And handing it to him, I said, “Put it in that room yourself!” As soon as I touched the Evangelion with my hand, he was immediately seized with a vertigo and disappeared. This struck me so hard that I fell unconscious on the floor. When the servants heard the knocking, they rushed in and could not bring me to my senses for half an hour. Finally, I felt a strong fear, a tremor, a restless excitement and a complete numbness of my arms and legs, so that I could not move them. Called in by a doctor, the disease was diagnosed as paralysis, resulting from some strong shock or fright. For a whole year after this event, under the careful care of many doctors, I lay bedridden and received no relief from the disease, which eventually indicated the need to retire from the teaching service. My old mother had died at this time, and my sister had settled to devote herself to monastic life. Therefore, all this further burdened my illness. One thing gave me consolation in this painful time – in reading the Gospel, which, ever since my illness began, did not leave my hands, as a pledge of a miraculous event with me.

Once, a stranger-celibate, who goes for the monastery, unexpectedly came to me. He convinced me not to hope only for medicines that are powerless without God’s assistance, but to ask God and pray diligently about it, because – as he said – prayer is the most powerful means for healing all diseases, both physical and spiritual. “But how can I pray in such a situation when I am unable to bow my head or raise my hand for the cross?,” I objected to him. He said to me, “Pray in some way!” And further, he was unable to explain to me precisely how to pray … After this visitor left, I involuntarily began to reflect on prayer and its power and effect, remembering the theological lectures I had heard in the institute when I was still a student. This greatly occupied me, recalling the bright religious truths I had learned, warming my soul, and I immediately began to feel some relief from my pain attacks. Since the Gospel was constantly present with me, and since, following my faith, I had to refer to it, as well as recalling that I had heard the whole tractate on prayer during lectures based on the Gospel texts, I considered it best to learn Christian prayer and piety. After reading this article, I drew from it, as from an abundant source, a complete system of a saving life and true inner prayer. With reverence, I noted all the places and texts on this subject, and from that moment I have been trying, albeit with difficulty, to study these divine commands and put them into practice as best I can. As a result of my efforts, my illness gradually eased and, as you can see, I was completely healed. Having remained alone, I, in gratitude to God for His paternal mercies and healing and enlightenment, decided, following the example of my sister and the prompting of my soul, to commit myself to a celibate life so as to more easily notice and assimilate the sweet truths of eternal life, which have been indicated to me in the word.

       CONSULTANT. – For such a binding prerequisite of the special and strange grace of God, and with your scientific education, it is unforgivable not only to fall into sadness, but even to allow any traces of doubt about God’s intercession and assistance in your soul! Do you know what the God-Learned Golden-Mouthed One says about this? “No one should mourn (He admonishes) and imagine that the Gospel commandments are impossible or inconvenient! God, fixing salvation for man, naturally did not impose these commandments on him with the intention of making him a sinner through their inconvenience. No! eternity…”

          This, of course, seems extremely difficult for our nature to perform the commandments of God on a regular and unwavering basis, and therefore salvation is inconvenient: but the same word of God that initiated the commandments contains not only the means to fulfill them in an easy way, but even to make it a pleasure to do so. If this is initially shrouded in mystery, then it is naturally to better turn the offender to humility and to make it easier for him to unite with God through the indication of a direct refuge with him in prayer and the request for his fatherly help. This is the mystery of salvation, and not hoping on his own strength.

       BUILDER. – How I wish I could learn about this mystery, the weak and powerless, in order to use it as a means to correct my lazy life a little in the glory of God and my salvation!

       CONSULTANT. – This mystery is known to you, dear brother, from your book Dobrotolyubye. It consists of unceasing prayer, which you have mastered so firmly and which you have devoted so much effort to and have rejoiced in it.

       BUILDER. – I beg before your feet, Holy Father, that God would enable me to hear from your mouth something useful on this saving mystery and on the sacred prayer of which I desire to hear the most, and which I love to read, to strengthen and comfort my sinful soul.

       CONSULTANT.  Although I cannot satisfy your desire with my own reasoning on this high occupation, because I am still inexperienced in this matter, but I have a very clear notebook of one spiritual writer, precisely on this subject. If you wish our co-speakers, then I will immediately bring it and, if you wish, I can read it for you. Thank you!

       ALL. – Do mercy, Holy Father! Do not deprive us of this saving knowledge.

       BUILDER. – Do we really need a book now, Seviour?

       CHANTOR. – Serious and strictly necessary. The book itself is here in a certain sequestration.

BUILDER. – I understand: it is not of this moment.

       WORLD. – Do we have nothing on hand for serious reading about this very important subject?

       CHAIRMAN. – In fact, the Treasure of Pristine Glory is written by a certain One. I will read a passage of it now if you do not mind, and then I will quickly deliver your book, which is not ready just now.

BUILDER. We are not.

       CHAIRMAN. – Do you understand that in the very beginning of this book, we also find a terrible work, a terrible warning. There is this:

«I have written the Book of the Great Sacrifice, the work of the whole life of the only begotten, but it does not comfort, but it terrifies and does not save, but condemns. «Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear! »The one who does not listen to me, he will glorify by the applause of everyone, for I already condemned him silently. You will see in time what very wretched people are those who have bowed their heads to me and must see in time that I am truly the greatest of peoples. Yes, we must perish completely so that everyone may see what misfortune can befall people because of my ruin. It is necessary not to lose weight and not to fall into envy and to be alert for the ruin of the whole world and for the help of the whole world. Sins are signals to those who do not hear, go away, and painful death is the signal to the unheeding people! You must observe completely, and you must not allow for one moment the treading on yourself. »

       CHAIRMAN. – And now, if you wish, I will read another passage. It begins with the words:

«Without science, we cannot ask anyone to please us and receive many things when we need them! If you do not ask God in prayer, you do not ask anyone at all. This is your science of all that you do and you cannot do it without science. This is the science and science, that is, the science that teaches you to behave and answer all things, but not as soon as it is possible, but as it should be. »

       CHAIRMAN. – And now, if you wish, I will read another passage. It begins with the words:

«Without science, we cannot ask anyone to please us and receive many things when we need them! If you do not ask God in prayer, you do not ask anyone at all. This is your science of all that you do and you cannot do it without science. This is the science and science, that is, the science that teaches you to behave and answer all things, but not as soon as it is possible, but as it should be. »

       CHAIRMAN. – And now, if you wish, I will read another passage. It begins with the words:

«Without science, we cannot ask anyone to please us and receive many things when we need them! If you do not ask God in prayer, you do not ask anyone at all. This is your science of all that you do and you cannot do it without science. This is the science and science, that is, the science that teaches you to behave and answer all things, but not as soon as it is possible, but as it should be. »

The question of how to save oneself is a pious Christian question that naturally arises in every person as a result of the sense of a hurt and weakened nature, and the residue of the original desire for truth and righteousness in every human being. Everyone, even if somewhat believes in immortality and the reward of eternal life, is involuntarily confronted with the thought of how to save himself when he looks up to heaven … In attempting to solve this problem, he questions conscientious and knowledgeable people, then reads the spiritual writers’ books on this subject and the truths and rules set out in them. In all these instructions, he is presented with apparently necessary conditions for salvation: a pious life, striving and working on oneself for a determined dedication, leading to the creation of good deeds, to the constant fulfilment of all of God’s commandments, which testify to the inviolability and firmness of faith. These should be carried out with deep humility and in totality, because just as all virtues depend on one another, they must also support and perfect each other, and inspire one another, much like the sun’s rays that only show their power and make fire when they are focused through the glass to a single point. Otherwise, ‘there will be many evildoers and the last will be worst.’

This is the special nature of the preaching of the new age!

            Thus, the person who seeks salvation with all joy begins to carry out the instructions and add to the study of all that is perceived and read. But, unfortunately! even at the first step in his endeavour, he finds no opportunity to achieve his goal, foreseeing and even feeling that his damaged and relaxed nature will take the upper hand over the convictions of reason; that his free will is bound, his inclinations corrupted, and the power of the spirit is exhausted. With such an experienced self-consciousness of his powerlessness, he naturally moves over to the idea that there are no means that promote the fulfilment of what God’s law commands, what Christian piety demands, and what everyone who has been privileged to receive salvation and holiness has practiced. As a result, in order to reconcile the requirement of reason and conscience with the powerlessness of executing powers, he still turns to the preachers of salvation with the question: how can I be saved? How can I justify the conditions of salvation, which are inaccessible to me? And can the preacher himself consistently fulfill everything that he teaches? “Pray to God, pray to God, so that He will help you!” It would perhaps be more fruitful if it had been studied earlier or always, and with everything, to learn to pray as the authors of the fulfillment of everything that Christian piety demands and what salvation is achieved? the questioner concludes, and, with this, begins to study prayer, read, reflect, understand the teachings of those who wrote on this subject. True, there are many good thoughts in them, deep knowledge and expressions. Another person reflects well on the necessity of prayer; another one – on its power, beneficence, on the obligation to pray, on the fact that for prayer it is necessary to have diligence, attention, warmth of spirit, purity of thought, reconciliation with enemies, humility, sorrow, and so on, which have to be present when one prays.…

This is a general notion about prayer for those who are not familiar with the writings on inner prayer and the contemplative works of the holy fathers. Finally, a seeker comes across a book called Dobrotolubivy, in which twenty-nine holy fathers have clearly depicted the science of true and essential inner prayer. Here the mystery of salvation and prayer begins to lift its veil for him, and he sees that to pray truly means to direct the mind and memory to a ceaseless recollection of God, to walk in His divine presence, to subject oneself to His love through the contemplation of Him, and to associate His name with breath and movement of the heart, through the guidance of Jesus Christ or through the making of Jesus’ prayer at any time and place and with any occupation, continuously.

            Although these sacred truths, having illumined the seeker’s knowledge and having opened him a way to the study and achievement of prayer, and having convinced him to proceed immediately to the fulfillment of these wise instructions, nevertheless, in his trials, acting sporadically, he will not remain without difficulties until an experienced instructor, in all the fullness of the mystery, has shown him that the frequency or uninterruptedness of prayer (however it may be initially uttered) is the only powerful means by which to achieve perfection in interior prayer and to secure salvation for the soul. Part of prayer is the foundation or the foundation from which all that circle of saving activities depends, as St. Simeon, the New Theologian, affirms:“He who constantly prays has in this alone purchased everything”

            Thus, to present the fullness of the truth of this revelation, the instructor develops it in the following image: 

            For the salvation of the soul, first of all, true faith is needed. Holy Scripture says: Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews XI, 6) .

            But from the same Holy Scripture it is evident that a person cannot by himself generate faith even at the level of a grain of mustard seed; that faith does not come from us, because it is a gift of God; that faith, as a spiritual gift, is given by the Holy Spirit. 

            So what should we do? How can we reconcile the need of man for faith with the impossibility of generating it within him? In the same Holy Scripture, the means and examples have been discovered for this: Ask and it will be given to you . The apostles could not by themselves bring about the perfection of faith, but they prayed to Jesus Christ: Lord, grant us faith . This is an example of how faith is acquired. From this it is clear that faith is acquired by prayer.

For the salvation of the soul, within the limits of true faith, works must also be done, virtuous ones; for, as the Holy Apostle James teaches, “if faith be not with works, it is dead, being alone; for by works is the realisation of man brought about, and if one is helped by one man only, and if one’s mouth is closed and one is lenient to one’s mother, one has not shown mercy; for one must rise against his own sins.” All these commandments must be observed altogether. “If one keeps the law in full, one has still sinned in one point, and one is therefore guilty of it all.” This is how the Holy Apostle James teaches.

The Holy Apostle Paul, realising the weakness of man, says, “the law of God is spiritual, but I am of the flesh; I am sold under sin; I am a captive of the law, because I am unable, in my own strength, to keep the commands.” He cannot do so, unless he asks for it, unless he prays for it. “Where you treasure, there the heart is; ask and it shall be given you,” the Holy Apostle gives the reason for it. And Jesus Christ himself says: “You cannot do anything by yourselves without me.” This is how he teaches how to deal with him: “whoever is in me and I am in him, will mature much fruit.” He means by this that if one feels constantly present his presence, if one has constantly recourse to him in prayer: “whatever the Father gives, ask for it in my name”. Hence one’s capacity to do good deeds is acquired by prayer. If one must pray as an instance of this we can see it in the Apostle Paul himself, who prayed three times to overcome temptations, fell down before God the Father, asking him to confirm him inwardly, and at last he ordered first of all to “offer prayer” and even to pray at all times. From all the above it follows that one’s spiritual salvation depends totally on prayer so that, first of all, prayer is necessary, because it revives faith, and so, through prayer, all virtues can be fulfilled. In a word, in prayer all will succeed, while without prayer no work of Christian piety can succeed.

That is why ceaselessness, constancy is defined only by prayer; the other virtues have their own time, while prayer commands us to practice constantly, “be constantly praying”. Constantly pray, pray at all times, in all places.

            True prayer requires its conditions: it must be offered with purity of mind and heart, with fervent effort, with deep attention, with trembling reverence, and with profound humility. But who with honest conscience will not agree that he is far from the above-mentioned conditions for true prayer, that he offers his prayer more out of necessity, more under compulsion, than out of inclination, out of enjoyment in prayer, out of love for prayer? This is what Holy Scripture testifies, that man is unable to keep his mind free from unclean thoughts: “Do human beings, from their youth, think evil?” Our one God gives us a new heart and a new spirit, “that what we really want is what God’s children are.” And the Apostle Paul himself said: “My spirit prays, but my mind is powerless.” And “I do not know how or why we pray in the sacrament,” he confirms. It follows that we cannot reveal the essential properties of our prayer!

            What is left of each person’s willpower and strength for the salvation of his soul? He cannot acquire faith without prayer, neither can he do good deeds; finally, he is unable to pray sincerely. What is left for his share, represented by his freedom and strength, so that he might not perish, but be saved?

            As in every matter there is a quality, the Lord has attributed it to His will and grace. And in order to show more clearly the dependence of man on the will of God and to immerse him more deeply into his humility, God has left his will and strength a certain quantity of prayer, commanding him to pray incessantly at all times and in all places. And in this way, the secret way to achieve true prayer, and with it faith, and obedience to the commandments, and salvation is revealed. So, a certain quantity has been given to man’s power. Part of prayer is given to his will… This is exactly how the Church Fathers teach. St. Macarius the Great says: “To pray somehow (but often) is in our power, and to pray truly is a gift of grace.” Bishop Isihia says that the frequency of prayer accepts a habit and turns itself to nature; that without frequent calling upon the name of Jesus Christ it is impossible to cleanse the heart.

Fathers Callistus and Ignatius recommend above all else starting works of valor and virtuous deeds with prayer to Jesus Christ, frequently, without interruption, for often and impure prayer leads to purification. St. Dionysius asserts that if a person often invoked the divine name (prayed), he would not fall into sin. What practiced, wise, and heartfelt practical instructions these fathers give! They shed light on methods and means for the perfection of the soul in a profound simplicity. What a high contrast they present to the moral instruction of theoretical reason! Reason convinces: do this and that well, arm yourself with courage, exert the power of the will, be convinced of the good consequences of virtue, for example, cleanse the mind and the heart of vain thoughts, fill the space between them with instructive reflections, do good, and you will be honored and at peace, live as reason requires, and, nevertheless, all these efforts cannot attain their goal without frequent prayer, without drawing upon God’s assistance. Let us now open the instructions of the fathers and see how they speak, for example, about purifying the soul. St. Leontius writes: ″When the soul is darkened by impure thoughts, conquer the adversaries with the name of Jesus, repeating it frequently. Stronger and more effective than this weapon you will not find on heaven or on earth.″ St. Gregory of Sinai instructs: ″For know that no man can restrain his mind by his own strength, and therefore, when a soul becomes impure in thought, call often and repeatedly on the name of Jesus Christ, and the thoughts will die away by themselves.″ What a simple and helpful, yet experienced, method this is, and a contrast to the radicalism of theoretical reason, which seeks to achieve purity by its own self-direction! Learning the practical instructions of the holy fathers, we come to the true conclusion that the principal, the only, and the most convenient method of acquiring the works of salvation and spiritual perfection is a part or reiteration of prayer, no matter how feeble.

            Christian soul! If you do not find the strength within yourself to worship God in spirit and truth; if your heart has not yet experienced the warmth and sweetness of intellectual and interior prayer, then offer in prayer sacrifice what you can, what lies within your will, what is proportionate to your strength. Let the lower parts of your lips be like the first in unceasing prayer, let them constantly call on the mighty name of Jesus Christ. This is not a great effort and is within everyone’s ability. At the same time, this is what the experienced commandment of the Apostle demands: “Let us always offer to God a sacrifice of praise, or a fruit of lips that declare His name” (Hebrews 13:15). Part of the prayer will inevitably become a habit and become a nature, bringing reason and heart to the proper state. Imagine, if a person had inappropriately fulfilled this one commandment of God about ceaseless prayer, then she would have fulfilled all the commandments, because if she constantly prayed at all times, in all her occupations and activities, in secret, called on the divine name of Jesus Christ, although at first, only in body, then she would no longer have time for sensual sins. Every sinful thought would encounter an obstacle in its spread, every sinful deed would not be so fruitfully considered in an empty mind: many words and nonsense would be shortened or completely destroyed, and every guilt would be cleansed immediately by the gracious power of God’s name. Regular practice in prayer often distracts the soul from sinful deeds and draws it closer to its true knowledge — to union with God! Now you see how important and necessary quantity in prayer is! A part in prayer is the only way to acquire pure and genuine prayer, it is the best and most effective preparation for prayer and the surest way to achieve the goal of prayer and salvation!

The Builder. – With all my heart I thank you, holy Father! You have delighted my sinful soul by this reading. For God’s sake, bless me to copy this list for myself – I shall copy it in a few hours. Everything that is read is so beautiful and pleasant, and my stupid mind understands it exactly, just as the holy fathers in the “Dobrotolubie” reflect on this. For example, John of Karphia in the fourth part of Dobrotolubie (Brokenness of the Confession) also says that if you do not have the strength for moderation and active asceticism, then know that the Lord wants to save you by prayer. And in your notebook, everything is so beautifully and clearly presented. Thank God, first of all, and then you, that I was able to hear this! (From the manuscript of the author, received by Father Ambrose from the Dobro Monastery.)PROFESSOR. – I have listened to your lecture with great respect and pleasure, dear Father! All the proofs are, according to strictly logical reasoning, true for me; but at the same time it seems to me that the possibility of continuous prayer is predicated above all on favourable circumstances and complete solitude. For I agree that frequent or uninterrupted prayer is a powerful and the only means of obtaining the grace of help in all the duties of godliness and the sanctification of the soul, and is accessible to human powers, but this method can only be used when one has the opportunity for solitude and peace: when cut off from occupations, worries and other cares; then the only struggle is to resist indolence or the boredom of thoughts. But if you are bound by duty, by continuous tasks, if you must remain in the noisy society of people, and you would like to pray often, you cannot do so because of the inevitable dispersion. Therefore, despite the fact that everyone is capable of frequent prayer under suitable circumstances, it is not always possible for everyone to do so.The Schema. – It is in vain for you to make such a plan! Not to mention how the heart, by being trained in interior prayer, can always, in all kinds of activities (whether physical or mental) and in any kind of noise, pray undisturbed and invoke the Divine name (the leader knows this for himself, and a novice should gradually learn to do this), we can confidently say that no external side can pray. For the secret thought of man is not subject to any external influence, and is completely free within himself; it can be felt and turned into prayer at any time, even the language can secretly express prayer without any external sound, in the presence of many people, and during external activities; yet, at the same time, our occupations are not so important, and our conversations are not so interesting, that we cannot find opportunities, in them, to invoke the name of Jesus Christ, even if our mind is not yet accustomed to continuous prayer; although, of course, seclusion from people and distracting objects is the main condition for attentive and unceasing prayer; however, if one is unable to avail himself of this, one should not excuse himself by disdaining prayer: since the number of opportunities available to each person – both the healthy and the sick – depends on his own will. Examples to prove this are those who were burdened with obligations, with entertaining positions, with cares, chores, and work; not only have they always invoked the Divine name of Jesus Christ, but they have even, through this, learned and reached the state of continuous interior prayer of the heart. Thus, Patriarch Photius, who was elevated from the senatorial rank to the patriarchal rank, while governing the great congregation of Constantinople, was constantly invoking the Divine name, and even attained through this to an independent, heartfelt prayer. Thus, the pious Calistus on St. Athos Mountain, while undergoing a laborious cook’s service, learned continuous prayer. Thus, the simple-minded Lazarus, who was burdened by incessant labors for the brethren, continuously, in the midst of all the noisy occupations, intoned the Lord’s Prayer and became calmed. And many others who practiced prayer in the same manner. If it were not possible to pray in the midst of distracting occupations, or in the company of people, then it would surely be unnecessary to require what is impossible. St. John Chrysostom, in his homily on prayer, says the following: “No one should imagine that it is impossible to always pray in a busy life of cares, or that I cannot be in the temple. In every place one can put up an altar to God in one’s mind by means of prayer.” One can pray anywhere. And indeed, if a person pays careful attention to himself, he will find the opportunity for prayer in every place, provided that he is convinced that prayer should be the main occupation before all his responsibilities. Do not worry excessively in one’s concerns, so as to gain more time for quiet prayer through all this. Opportunities are presented to man, and he can pray at any time, in any situation, and place, and it is convenient to move from frequent, verbal prayer to rational prayer, and from this to heartfelt prayer, which opens up the kingdom of God within us.

PROFESSOR. – I agree that during all manual work, it is possible, and even convenient, to engage in frequent, or even continuous, prayer, because mechanical needlework does not require intense concentration and much thought, and therefore my mind can thus immerse itself in unceasing prayer, and my lips can follow suit. But when I have to engage in something purely intellectual, something such as: attentive reading, or the contemplation of a profound subject, or a work, how can I pray with my mind and lips at the same time? And since prayer is primarily a matter of the mind, how can I at the same time give different occupations to the same mind?

CONSCIENCE. – The solution to your question is not at all difficult, if we take into consideration the fact that prayers can be divided into three categories: 1) beginners, 2) those who are able to, and 3) those who have learned to pray. Therefore, beginners can have, with the regular and frequent awakening of their minds and hearts toward God, and the recitation of a short oral prayer; and those who are able or who have come to a state of constant mental awareness can engage in meditation or creative activity in the constant presence of God, as the foundation of prayer. This can be expressed by the following example. Imagine that a strict and demanding King has ordered you to compose a meditation on a given deep material, in His presence, at the foot of His throne; however much you may be engaged in your subject, however, the presence of the King, who holds your life in His hand, having possessed you, will not allow you for a moment to forget that you are meditating, understanding, and composing, not alone, but in a place that requires special reverence, respect, and decorum. This feeling and the vivid sense of the proximity of the King very plainly expresses the possibility of engaging in continuous inner prayer even during mental exercises.

Now as for those who, by long practice or the grace of God, have acquired a heart prayer, such people not only during deep intellectual occupation, but even in their sleep do not cease their unceasing prayer, as the Wise One says: ”As I sleep, my heart wakes.&8221; And the Lord God, who, by Himself awakening for prayer, draws the mind and the whole soul into an unceasing prayer, in which state the man who is praying is not found, and with whatever abstract and intellectual occupation he is engaged.&8221;

   The Hierarch. Allow me, Reverend Father, to express my thoughts in turn. In the article you have read, it is wonderfully expressed that the only way to salvation and perfection is part of prayer – “whatever it may be”… To me this is incomprehensible, and therefore it seems to me: what will be the benefit if I constantly pray and call out only in the language, “O God”, but not in it? It will be nothing but mere babbling! The result will only be that the tongue is rendered useless, and the mind, which prevents this in its reflections, also suffers damage to its capacity for action. God requires not words, but a careful mind and a purified heart. Is it not better, even if seldom, or only at prescribed times, to perform even a short prayer, but with attention, diligence, warmth of the soul, and a proper concept? Otherwise, even if day and night one utters a prayer, but without purity of the soul and actions of virtue, one will not gain any salvation; but if one remains with only an outward empty babbling, and eventually grows tired and weary, one will come to the conclusion that, having completely cooled faith in prayer, one will entirely abandon this useless practice. The fruitlessness of one’s vocal prayer can also be seen in the denunciations presented in Holy Scripture; for example: “These men worship me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” or “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.” “I desire more to utter words with my mind than with words in a foreign language.” All this expresses the fruitlessness of external, careless prayer in words.

Paragraph class = “wp-block-paragraph”> APPROACH. – Your conclusion might have some foundation if it were not joined to the counsel of the oral prayer, – constancy or perseverance; if the prayer in the Name of Jesus Christ did not have any independent power, and did not receive attention and diligence through the gradual practice of prayers… But since it is a matter of frequency, duration, and continuity of prayer (even though it were accompanied at first by inattention or dryness), let us examine that further. One spiritual writer, in convincing us of the greatest benefit and fruitfulness of frequent prayer, expressed in monotonous words, concludes thus: “Although many of the uninstructed consider this to be futile and even trivial, calling it a mechanical and senseless repetition of the same prayer, they do not know how this mechanical practice of one and the same prayer gradually becomes a genuine cry of the heart, penetrates into the inner self, becomes more pleasant, becomes natural to the soul, illuminates it, nourishes it, and leads to union. young people, who were supposed to be taught the alphabet and reading; the tedious repetition of letters was for them a mystery. was to purify the soul, first you cleanse the body: do you put on a fast, depriving your body of nourishing and irritating food? pious, so convenient for you to forget? and you experience how outside fasting of your body you acquire internal refinement of the mind, calmness of the heart, a weapon to subdue passions, and a reminder of spiritual practice; how through the external matter you acquire the inner spiritual benefit. prayer, which, by its long-term nature, develops the inner prayer of the heart: it inflames and helps to unite the mind with God. so it happens that whoever has dared to call out the Name of Jesus Christ without ceasing, or, what is the same, they have constantly uttered the Lord’s Prayer, usually feels the work and strives against the laziness, but the longer and more they practice this, the more unfeeling they become to this occupation, so that subsequently, without noticing it, with effort, itself unstoppably moves and mutters the prayer without a voice. to incline and listen to this involuntary action of the lips, being thus aroused to attention, which, moreover, is the source of the sweetness of the heart and of true prayer. if we apply your evidence to your refutation, it is explained by a proper consideration of them. did not accept it with the heart. This is said to them and does not apply to the recitation of prayers, about which Jesus Christ explicitly and positively, or certainly, commanded thus: “Pray always and do not knock” (Just as with no one did he concern himself). or in a meaningless, or unfamiliar language in church, understanding this of public instruction, and not of prayer itself, of which he affirmatively says so: “I will instruct them to pray at any time” (Matthew 28:20) generally, he advises: “Pray continually” (as stated in Mc 14:38) is the right understanding of Sacred Scripture?

       BUDIVEL’NIK (builder). Truly, with honesty, dear father! I have seen many who, without any evangelical guidance, and not knowing what attention is, spontaneously, through unceasing prayer to Jesus, have achieved what their mouths and tongues could not restrain from saying a prayer that later so pleased and enlightened them, and transformed the weak and the negligent.

       SCHIMNYK (craftsman). Yes! Prayer seems to transfigure a person. Its power is so mighty that no force of passion can withstand it. If it is agreed, then on farewell I will read you, brothers and sisters, a short, but interesting article that I have brought with me.

       ALL. With reverent pleasure we will listen!

       SCHIMNYK (craftsman).

Confession of the power and effect of prayer

           Prayer is so powerful and potent that you can pray and do whatever you want, and prayer will bring you to the right and righteous action.

           For piety, nothing more is needed than love, love and do whatever you want, says the blessed Augustine: for he who truly loves cannot want to do anything that is not pleasing to his beloved … Since prayer is the expression and effect of love, the same thing can be said of it: whatever you want to do, you will achieve the goal of prayer and will attain sanctification through it!

           In order to develop this subject more thoroughly, let us explain by examples:

1) Pray, and think whatever you want, and your thoughts will be purified by prayer. Prayer will give you the enlightenment of reason, quiet and dispel all inappropriate thoughts. — This is what St. Gregory the Sinaite says: “If you want, he advises, to drive thoughts away and purify your mind, drive them away with prayer, for without prayer, you will not find any other way to control thoughts.” St. John the Ladder also says this: “Overcome imaginary enemies with the Name of Jesus, without this weapon you will not find another.”

           2) Pray, and do whatever you want, and your deeds will be pleasing, and they will benefit and save you.

Often prayer, whatever it may be, will not remain barren (Mark the Wonderworker) because it contains the grace of the Holy Spirit. “But the Lord’s Name, as worshiped by everyone, will save.” For example, someone who prayed without success in the absence of God in this prayer received an inspiration and a call to repent. A lustful girl also prayed while she was being healed and her prayer guided her to a chaste life and to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

            3) Pray, and do not try to overcome your passions by your own strength. Prayer will destroy them within you: “Whatever afflicts you has its origin in the world,” say the Scriptures. And Saint John the Wonderworker teaches that if you lack the gift of temperance, be not distressed; but know that God requires hard labour from you regarding prayer, and it will save you.

            The description in The Countryman of an elderly woman who “forgave her conquerors,” that is, having fallen into sin, nor did she mourn, but resorted to prayer and by being prudent I hold to be the proof of this.

            4) Pray and do not fear anything, do not be afraid of need, do not be afraid of misfortunes, prayer will protect, deflect them. Remember the drowned infidel Peter; Paul praying in prison; the monk who was overcome by temptation and was saved by it through prayer; the young girl who was saved from the violent soldier because of prayer, and so on: these are examples which demonstrate the power, might and all-encompassingness of prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

5) Pray, by any means, but always and do not be ashamed of anything; be spiritually happy and peaceful: prayer will manage everything and teach you. Remember that the saints, Saint John of Kronstadt and Mark the Wonderworker, teach about the power of prayer: the first asserts that “prayer, even if given by us, full of sin, immediately purifies”; the second speaks this way: “That which comes from our powers is called praying in some way; and to pray cleanly is a gift of grace.” Therefore, that is within your powers, blot it out to God; offer the quantity to Him first as a sacrifice, and the divine power flows on your impotent force; and prayer, which is dry and scattered, but frequent – uninterrupted, having acquired a habit, and having turned into nature, will become a clean, pure, flaming prayer worthy of God’s power.

            6) Finally, if your waking hours are accompanied by prayer, it is natural that there is no time left not only for sinful deeds, but even for thinking about them.

            Now you see how many profound thoughts are concentrated in this wise saying: “Love and do what you want. Pray and do what you want!” Oh, how joyful and comforting all this is for a sinner, burdened with weaknesses–for one who is weighed down by struggling passions!

            Prayer is an all-encompassing means for salvation and the improvement of the soul…Yes! But the condition of prayer is closely interlinked with its power and fruitfulness here: “Keep praying without ceasing” – this is the admonition of the word of God. Thus, prayer then shows its all-embracing power and fruitfulness when it is performed frequently, constantly, for constantly performing a prayer is certainly within our power: just as purity, diligence, and perfection in prayer are a gift of grace.

            Thus, we will pray as often as possible, dedicating our entire life to prayer, even though it is initially neglected! The frequent practice of it will teach us attention, and quantity will inevitably lead to quality.

      THE PROFESSOR. Indeed, prayer is a great work! And eagerness to its frequency is the key to unlocking its beneficial treasures. But how often do I find in myself a struggle between zeal and laziness! How desirable would it be to find a means and help to victory, and to persuade and excite oneself to constantly attend to prayer!

      The SCHOLAR. Many spiritual writers present different means based on a healthy understanding – to arouse diligence for prayer: for example:

            1) They advise to delve into reflections on the necessity, advantage, and fruitfulness of prayer for the salvation of the soul.

            2) They firmly convince one that God, no doubt, requires prayer from us, and His word everywhere preaches this.

            3) We should constantly remember that through idleness and negligence in prayer it is impossible to keep up with the works of virtue and to gain peace and salvation; therefore, it is inevitable that one will experience both this as a punishment on earth and torment in the afterlife.

            4) We should inspire resolve through the examples of God’s saints, who through unceasing prayer have attained sanctification and salvation, and so on.

            Although all these measures have their own value and are based on a genuine understanding, but a sickly and indolent soul, by receiving and using them, rarely sees their fruitfulness because these remedies are bitter to its pampered taste and weak to its deeply wounded nature. For some Christians do not know that they must pray frequently and diligently, that God requires it; that for negligence towards prayer we suffer punishment; that all the saints prayed diligently and ceaselessly; but all this knowledge rarely has a beneficial effect! Every observer sees in himself that he does not or hardly does justice to these dispositions of reason and conscience, and when he frequently remembers this, he lives just as badly and indolently …

            This is why the experienced and godly Holy Fathers, knowing the weakness of capriciousness and the greediness of the human heart, work especially in this regard, and from this side, like doctors, season the bitter medicines with sweet syrups and a body that delights the pain of the medicine vessel with honey, reveal the easiest and most effective remedy, which destroys what is in effect with the help of God – to attain perfection and the sweet hope of the love of God in prayer. They advise as often as possible to meditate on such a state of the soul, and to read carefully the fathers’ exhortations, who reassure us that such a state of the soul is easily and freely attained through prayer; and that such a state is desired in a certain way: a sweet sensation from the heart; a soothing warmth and light radiated from within; an indescribable delight, joy, ease, deep peace, and real bliss and contentment of life, which are aroused by the action of prayer in the heart. By delving into these reflections, the weak and cold soul is warmed, strengthened, and encouraged to pray by success; and it is as if drawn into the experiences of prayer practice, as St Isaac the Syrian says: “The bait for the soul is joy established by hope in the heart; it flourishes in the soul. He continues: “At the beginning of this action and up to the end, a mode and hope are foreseen, and this spurs the reason to put the foundation of the task in the heart, and to engage the reason for its own pleasure in the matter.” Also, the Monk Isychius, describing the discouragement of laziness toward prayer and the establishment of diligence in prayer at the end, says directly: “Then it is not for nothing that we are willing to seek the sweet sensations and joys in the heart.”

            From this it follows that the encouragement to work towards prayer inspires this Father to say, “the sweet sensations and joys in the heart” … In a similar way, the Great Macarius teaches, “that our spiritual exercises (prayer) produce fruits, that is, pleasures in our hearts.”

Holy Father. Is not such contemplation, for an inexperienced person, liable to lead to spiritual vanity, as the theologians call the aspiration of the soul which strives for excessive joys and delights in grace, and which is not content merely to perform the tasks of piety as a duty, without dreaming of a reward?

       DIAGRAM.  – One of the great theologians, St. Macarius of Egypt, expresses this subject in the clearest way, as follows: “As diligence and labour are applied in the planting of the vine in order to gather its fruits, and if they are not gathered, then all the work will be in vain; so it is with prayer, if there is no fruit of the spiritual, that is, love, peace, joy, and the like, or the fruit of hope, that is, the enjoyment of sweet things in our hearts, then we should play this part” (p. 3, chapter 5). Do you see how clearly this holy Father has explained the need for enjoyment in prayer? … And by the way, not long ago, I came to remember that the main cause of the desire to drink has come to me. And therefore, the consideration of this naturalness can also serve as a powerful means to arouse diligence in prayer, the means of which the professor so desires to seek, by examining that there can be no action without a cause, and by descending the scale of perceptible things from the lower to the higher, until one finally reaches the principal cause of God. That is why no nation, no tribe of savages has ever been and is without any conception of God. Something nags at him for something unknown to him… For this reason, all natural religions occur, and it is most amazing that the essence or soul of each religion consists in a secret prayer, which expresses itself in some kind of movement and a clear concept of the people of pagans! … How strange is this phenomenon in the eyes of reason, which demands that it also reveal the secret cause of this strange phenomenon, which is expressed in the natural tendency to prayer.

             The psychological answer to this is not complex: the root, division, and strength of all passions and actions in man is innate selfishness. This is clearly confirmed by the fundamental and universal idea of self-preservation. Every desire, every undertaking, every action of man has as its goal the satisfaction of selfishness, the pursuit of one’s own good. The satisfaction of this need accompanies the whole life of a natural person. But the human spirit is not satisfied with anything sensual, and innate selfishness never ceases in its striving; therefore, desires develop more and more, the aspiration to good grows, fills the imagination and sets this feeling in motion. The evacuation of this inner sensation and desire by itself is revealed, it is a natural excitation to prayer, it is the need of selfishness, which is difficult to attain its goals. The less a person achieves success and the more his own good is taken into account, the more he desires, the stronger he evicts his desire in prayer; he turns to the unknown cause of everything with a request for the desired. Thus, innate selfishness – the main principle of life – is the fundamental cause that excites a natural person to prayer!

             The wise Creator of nature gave the human nature the ability to selfishness precisely as a lure, according to the words of the parents, which would attract and guide the wan human being towards a mountain-like communion. –

          Oh, if only a person could not abuse this ability and keep it in superiority over his spiritual nature! Then he would have a strong encouragement and a means on the path to moral perfection. But, alas! How often does he make a ridiculous passion of selfishness when he turns this noble ability into a means of his animal nature!

             Thank you very much, my dear visitors! Your spiritual conversation has very pleased me, and taught me much instructive as I am inexperienced. May the Lord grant His grace for your instructive love.

             Everyone said goodbye.

Seventh Encounter: Spiritual Conversations

“Pray for each other and heal yourself” (James V, 16).

      BUILDER.  – My pious companion, the professor, and I could not overcome the common desire to set out on the road and not go to you once and for all to say goodbye and ask for your prayers for us …

      PROFESSOR.  – Yes, understandable to us is your sincerity and those saving conversations in which we enjoyed with you among your friends. This memory will be preserved in our souls, as a guarantor of communion and Christian love, even in the far away country to which we aspire.

            – Thank you for your memory and love, and meanwhile, as for your coming to the matter! Two pilgrims have stopped by me: a Moldavian monk and a hermit who lived twenty years without speech in the forest. They want to see you, I will summon them now …

             Here they are!

      BUILDER.  – Ah, what a blessed life in the desert! And convenient for the unhindered bringing of the soul to unity with God! The silent forest, like the Garden of Eden, in which the sweet tree of life grows in the prayerful heart of the hermit. If I had any means to eat, I would not have separated from the hermit’s life …

      PROFESSOR.  – Everything seems to us especially good from afar, and from experience everyone is convinced that every place, having its conveniences, has its disadvantages. Of course, for someone who has a melancholic temperament and a passion for solitude, life away from others is consolatory, but there are many dangers on this path! The ascetic history presents many examples in which it is seen how many hermits and hermits have deprived themselves of contact with people, have fallen into self-deception and deep madness.

      THE RELIQUARY.  – I am amazed at how often, not only in religious monasteries, but even among some God-fearing laymen, one can hear that many who are drawn to a solitary life or to inner prayer are prevented from following this impulse by fear of falling prey to temptation. Insisting on this, they give examples to underpin their claims; one is inclined to think that this comes from two causes: either from a misunderstanding of the matter and a lack of spiritual knowledge, or from their own laziness to devote themselves to contemplation and jealousy that others might outshine them in these higher spheres of understanding who are on a lower level than they themselves. The holy Fathers reflect on this subject, and they teach directly and decisively that one must not fear or doubt when summoning God. If some have lapsed into self-deception or madness, it has been because of pride, the lack of a mentor, and the acceptance of appearances and dreams as truth. If such a temptation had occurred (they continue), it would have led to discernment and sobriety, for the swift help of God intervenes in this occasion of indulgence. Dare! I am with you, have no fear! says Jesus Christ. (Gr. Sin. l. p.) From this, it follows that it is useless to fear and be afraid of inner life on the pretext of self-deception: for the humble recognition of one’s own sins, the openness of the soul to a confessor, and the sense of fear in prayer, are a firm and secure defense against temptation, which many fear so much, and for that reason many fear, and many fear. And many fear so much; and being in temptation, according to the inspired words of St. Philotheus of Sinai, who says the following: “Many monks do not understand the urge of the mind, which is experienced by demons; that is, they diligently practice only one activity (the external virtues), but they do not pay attention to the mind, that is, to inner contemplation, but they do not care, but they do not care. They do not give attention to other people, that the grace has inwardly penetrated into them, and they consider it a sign of envy ” (cf. St. Philotheus of Sinai, PG 165, 1315).

       Ascetic. – Although the guidance of an experienced and knowledgeable spiritual teacher, or elder, to whom one could openly open one’s soul, thoughts and encounters on the path of inner instruction with trust and benefit, constitutes the main condition for practicing heart prayer in silence: parents who advise this represent an exception. The Monk Nicetas of Pentapolis clearly teaches this: “In the practice of inner heart work, a true and knowledgeable mentor is necessary. If none exists, one must diligently seek one; if one does not find one, one must with a sorrowful heart call upon God for instruction and guidance in the teachings of the Holy Scriptures.” At the same time, one must also take into consideration that a sincere and diligent seeker can hear a useful and instructive word from ordinary people, for the Holy Fathers also assure that if one asks a Saracen with faith and a proper intention, he or she can give words of instruction; but if one asks for instruction from a prophet without faith and a righteous intention, he or she will not satisfy one… We see an example of this in the Great Egyptian Makarios, whom one time was enlightened by and thereby put to rest by a simple peasant. As for “invisibility,” that is, not to imagine and not to receive any visions during contemplation, whether of light, an angel, Christ, or a saint, and to turn away from any dreaming; this is what the experienced Holy Fathers prescribe, of course, for the reason that the ability to imagine can easily bring or make the imagination come alive; and thus the inexperienced can become fascinated by these dreams, worship them as manifestations of grace, and fall into delusion, while at the same time, as the Holy Scriptures depict, “the devil is transformed into an angel of light” (Mt 24:24). And that the mind naturally and conveniently can remain in invisibility and retain it while the presence of God is remembered, this is evident from the fact that the power of imagining can perceptibly imagine something in invisibility and maintain that imagining while attending to subjects that are not subject to the sense of sight, that have no outward form. For example: the imagination and self-perception of our soul – air, heat, cold; when it is cold, one can quickly imagine warmth in one’s hand, even though it has no form, is not visible, cannot be measured with touch of that which is on the cold! Similarly, the presence of a spiritual and inexplicable divine essence can be imagined in one’s mind, realized in one’s heart in invisibility.

       ARCHITECT – I too have heard from pious people and those seeking salvation that they fear to touch the inner work under the influence of the attraction. Some of them I have followed with benefit from the teachings of St. Gregory the Sinaite in The Love of Goodness, who says that “the work of the heart cannot be magical (not like the rational one), for if the enemy so wishes, he can turn the warmth of the heart into his disordered burning; or the joy of the heart into a moist enjoyment: but time, experience and feelings will in themselves distort these his devices, even for those who are not very experienced.

       I have also met others who, unfortunately, having learned the way of silence and inner prayer, in the event of any setback or sinful weakness, fall into discouragement and abandon the inner work of the heart that they have come to know! PROFESSOR . – And this is only natural! I sometimes feel this myself when I happen to deviate from my inner state toward worldly pleasures or commit some sin . . . For since inner prayer is a holy work, and communion with God, is it not proper or even presumptuous to bring holy things into a sinful heart, without first purging it of sin, and without purifying it from evil, and without purifying it from evil until it is purified from sin? preparation for communion with God? It is better to be silent before God than to bring impious words from a heart that is darkened and worldly.

     &nbsp: MONK. – How sad that you think like this! This thought of “discouragement”, which is more sinful than any sin, and is the chief weapon of the dark world against us . . . The experienced saints of our fathers in this case give us entirely different teaching. The Holy Monk Nikita Stific says that even if one should fall and even fall deep into the wrath of hell, one should not despair, but immediately turn to God, and he will soon restore the fallen heart and give you the former strength (chap. 54). Therefore, immediately after any fall and vulnerability of the heart, it should be presented in the presence of God for healing and purification, just as things that have been infected and left for a while under the influence of the sun’s rays lose their acute acuteness and force. Many spiritual teachers say this firmly. In the struggle against the enemies of salvation – our passions, one must not in any way turn away from the vital act, that is, the call of Jesus Christ, that is in our hearts! Our actions should not only not turn us away from going in God’s presence and from inner prayer, engendering anxiety, discouragement, and sadness, but also hasten our conversion to God. It is like an infant being nurtured by its mother when it begins to walk, it rushes to her and clings to her tightly when it stumbles.

       Monk.  – I think that the spirit of sadness and doubtful thoughts is most easily aroused by dispersing the mind, and not by keeping silent and turning to oneself. The ancient sages of the Fathers have conquered despair, gained inner illumination, and strength in hope of God, in silent solitude; and they have given us in this instance a useful and wise counsel: “Sit in your cell in silence, and it will teach you everything.”

       Professor.  – In pursuance of my commission to you, it is very desirable for me to hear your critical analysis of my thoughts concerning the glorified silence and the beneficial usefulness of solitude, which the hermits so love to practice. This is how I judge the matter: since all people, according to the law of nature, are commanded by the Creator to be in necessary dependence on one another; and therefore they are obliged to help one another in life, to work and be useful to one another, then such fellowship is the foundation of human prosperity and love of neighbor. And what can the silent hermit, who has withdrawn from intercourse with people, do in his inactivity to benefit his neighbor, and what benefit does he bring to the prosperity of human society? He completely destroys the Creator’s law regarding the union of love to his fellow men and the beneficial influence on his brother!..

       Monk.  – Since your view of silence is not correct, then your conclusion is not correct; let us examine this in detail:

           1. The secluded hermit is not only not in a state of inactivity and emptiness, but he is mostly active and even more than those who participate in public life. He works tirelessly with the highest wisdom of his nature: he observes, understands, watches over the state and course of his moral being. This is the true purpose of silence! And this is how useful for his own perfection, and for that of his neighbors, who are deprived of the opportunity to immerse themselves undisturbedly into themselves, for the development of moral life, for the hermit who observes is more blessed and beneficial when he communicates his inner experiences, either orally (in exceptional cases) or by writing them down, blessing them and enlightening them. He is more beneficial and superior than the public and private benefactor, because the private, sensual charity of worldly people is always limited to a small number of benefactors; and the benefactor by his acquired convictions and the tested methods for improving spiritual life becomes a benefactor to entire nations; his experiences and teachings pass from one generation to another, as we see and benefit from them from times immemorial. And what differs at all from the generous almsgiving of Christ out of Christian love, but rather surpasses it in its consequences.

2. The beneficial and useful influence of the silent man on his neighbours is revealed not only in the teaching of his observations on inner life, but even his own example of a detached life benefits the attentive layman, bringing him into self-consciousness and instilling a sense of reverence … stimulating an upright life, recalling what a human being can be on earth, and how readily to bring a person back to his original contemplative state, from which he came out at the hand of the Creator. The silent hermit by his silence teaches, his very life serves, tempts and persuades to the pursuit of God … 3. The benefit shown comes from the silence of the true, enlightened and illuminated by the grace of God. But even if the hermit did not have these gracious gifts to be a light to the world, if he took the path of silence with the sole purpose of hiding himself from the community of his kind, because of his laziness and negligence and his bad and seductive example, he would still have done a great service and had a beneficial influence on society. And this is already a lot, and this is already a social benefit that the hermit, through his solitude, takes away the temptation that would inevitably follow from his seductive life among people, and would harm the morality of his neighbours.User.                                – It seems to me that no one has so clearly appreciated the advantages of silence as St. John the Ladder: “Silence, he says, is the mother of prayer, the return from the prison of sin, an insensitive accomplishment in the virtues, and a constant ascent to heaven.” And Jesus Christ Himself, to show us the usefulness and necessity of solitary silence, often left public preaching and went to silent places for prayer and rest.                                Silent contemplatives are like pillars that sustain the piety of the Church with their unceasing prayers: even in ancient times, it is clear that many godly laymen, even the kings and nobles themselves, went to visit hermits and contemplatives in order to ask them to pray for their strengthening and salvation. Thus, even a solitary hermit can serve others and contribute to the welfare of society through his solitary prayer.                                Prof.        – Here is another thought that is inconvenient to me: all of us Christians have a common custom of asking for prayers from one another; wishing that another person would pray for us, and especially a member of the Church who has been entrusted to us. Is this simply a desire to be selfish, or not just an ingrained habit of saying things as we have heard from others, as we wish the mind to do without any further reasoning? Has not God demanded human supplication, by foreseeing everything and doing His will by Providence, and not by our wish? Knowing and determining everything before our request, as the Holy Gospel says? Can the prayer of many be stronger than that of one? In that case, would God be sincere? Can the prayer of another save me, when someone is distracted by his own affairs, or is glorified, or humiliated? And therefore, the requirement of the prayer of another is, I believe, only a pious product of spiritual teaching, which serves the appearance of humility and desire to please one another, and nothing more!                                Monk.        – At first glance, and from the nature of common sense, this may seem so, but the spiritual mind, illuminated by the light of religion and enlightened by the experience of inner life, penetrates more deeply, contemplates more clearly, and discovers a complete opposite to the indications you have given!                                In order to understand this more quickly and clearly, we will explain by example and verify by example. For example: a teacher had a student who came to him for lessons. Poor abilities, and not less sloth and inattention, prevented the student from achieving success in his studies and put him in the category of lazy and unsuccessful. Distressed by this, he did not know what to do, how to fight against his vices. Sometimes, meeting another student, a classmate, more skillful, diligent, and successful, he told him his misfortune. The latter, taking part in his misery, invited him to study together: “Let us study together,” he said, “it will be pleasant and more enjoyable, and therefore more successful.”                                             

Thus, they began to study together, transmitting to each other what they had understood; the subject of study was the same. And what happened after a few days? The careless one became diligent, loved the teachings, neglect had turned into diligence and intelligence, which had a beneficial effect on his character and morality. And his diligent companion became even more capable and hard-working. They benefited from each other in action… And this is natural; for a person is born into a society of people, develops rational concepts through people; the habits of life, the moods of feelings, the aspirations of desires, in short, everything he adopts in the image of a person like himself. And therefore, since the life of people consists in the closest relationship and powerful influence of one upon the other, whoever lives among people of that nature will acquire the habits, actions, and customs accordingly. Therefore, a cold person may be warmed, a dull one made sharp, a lazy one likely to become involved in action with enthusiastic participation similar to himself. The spirit of the spirit can communicate itself, can act beneficially on each other: attract him to prayer, to attention, to encourage him in despair, to discourage him from sin, and to rouse him to holy activity. Helping one another, one can become more pious, more dynamic, and more virtuous. To one another, to ask for intercessions of brotherly prayer!

         Let us take the example of the Apostle Paul, given us as an example of prayer for one another. One writer observes that this example of St. Paul should teach us how much mutual prayer is needed, when even this holy and powerful spiritual ascetic recognizes the need for this spiritual prayerful help. In his letter to the Hebrews he expresses his request in the following way: Pray for us, for we hope that all those who earnestly want to live will have the good conscience of God. Listening to this, how unreasonable would it be to rely on our own prayers and successes, when a humble, purely godly man asks for the prayer of others (the Hebrews) to be added to his own? And therefore, with what humility, simplicity, and union of love, should we not dismiss, or despise, the help of even the most powerful believer in prayer, when the lucid spirit of St. Paul has not been selective in this case; but he asks for the joint prayer of all, knowing that God’s power is worked in weakness; and it can sometimes happen even in weak,

            Usually, these words are repeated along with the movements of the soul or are recited, with this prayer. I have learned from experience how beneficial such a prayer is for the person for whom it is uttered.

      THE PROFESSOR. – The instructive conversation and the luminous thoughts that I have absorbed from your views and reflections oblige me to keep them in my memory and to have respect and gratitude in my grateful heart for all of you…

      THE BUILDER AND THE PROFESSOR. – Therefore, the time for our departure has come. We request your prayers lovingly while bidding farewell and in unity.

            – (That is to say): Lord of the world, by raising the Shepherd of the flock from the dead with the blood of the eternal Testament, our Lord Jesus Christ, may He turn your will toward the creation of His good, making in you what is pleasing before Him, Jesus Christ: to Him be glorified and praised for ever and ever. Amen.